A little secret
by Mondhexe
Summary: Donatello finds a rather shocking secret about the team's fearless leader and madness ensues as Leo has more secrets one could even imagine. Note: Believe it or not 1st Chapter can be read as a one-shot.
1. A little secret

All TMNT characters are copyrighted by Mirage studios and were created by Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird. And this is a non-profit fanfic. So on with the fic.

* * *

**A little secret**

Donatello had been going through the charts for days, still hoping to find a mistake, if he was going to break the news to his brother, he'd better be sure of it or he would pay it dearly.

Donnie really wanted to smack himself for even looking at the information and he knew he should be careful to keep this information to himself for he could already imagine Mikey's and Raph's reaction to it. And he was quite fond on having his head attached to his neck, no matter how much self control the affected turtle he had been examining had.

He decided to talk with Leonardo one quiet evening when he was certain Raph and Mikey were out for the night and master Splinter was in one of his yearly pilgrimages somewhere.

* * *

Leonardo was meditating in the middle of the dojo with his eyes closed. To the non instructed eye he looked exactly as the rest of them, which had made Donnie doubt about the profile he had been looking at, but lately the differences had started to become more obvious: the flat plastron, the shorter and thinner tail, Don blushed with guilt, the sudden growth spur and that rare to non-existent need to cut his nails that had alerted Donnie of a possible dietary deficiency and had led to the full checkup.

As soon as Donnie stepped on the mat, Leo open his eyes and gave Don an eerie look. "So how did I do?" he asked, closing his eyes again ready to take any news with his mind clear.

"Leo I need you to come to the lab, I... really need to talk to you." Donnie said, looking at the floor and playing with his fingers.

"That's bad hm! Am I mutating again?" Leo asked

"No, you aren't sick!" Donnie promptly replied, "but still I need to talk to you'', _and preferably not here_, he thought, wanting to have this talk as far as possible from anything keen or sharp.

Once in the lab Leo had taken a seat and was curiously looking at Donnie's fish tank which provided cooling to the massive computer because, for some reasons, Donnie refused to meet his glance therefore he focused his sight on the fish tank instead.

Finally Donnie cleared his throat. "Leo have your ever felt something wasn't right?"

"We are the result of an accident induced by an alien mutagen; of course I know something is bound not to be right." Leo calmly replied.

"Well yeah," Don said, hoping Leo would get the hint. "But with you, have you ever wondered why you need to work twice as hard to keep up?"

Leonardo scratched his head: he certainly had to work twice as hard as Raph and still he was nowhere near his hot headed brother's strength, but he had skills and that always gave him the upper hand so he had never really lost any sleep over it.

"Well, we all know I was not the healthiest as we grew up" Leo replied, trying to explain it.

Now it was Don the one scratching his head. This was not going to be easy.

Leonardo looked at Don's distraught face and decided to end his pain.

"Don, please, come straight to the point. I am a big boy I can handle things"

Donnie broke in a nervous giggle. "Yes sure… big boy"

Leo sighed. He had been trained to be a warrior, dying or whatever was part of the contract, and he knew Donnie was not one to beat about the bushes, so he really did not get Don's attitude and it was beginning to annoy him.

"Well… about the big boy part?" Donatello replied.

"Donatello!" Leo finally snapped trying to make his brother talk straight.

"Well you see, we all were, in the beginning normal healthy babies of the Trachemys scripta elegans"

"So we are red eared sliders etc." Leo nodded. He was not really keen on biology but he knew that at least, so he turned his eyes from the fish tank and met Donnie's eyes. "Why am I getting a biology class?"

"As a matter of fact you should get one." Don said quietly averting his eyes again from Leo's inquisitive stare.

"You know we are different from humans, right?" Don continued

"Really…?" Leonardo said sarcastically, "and what gave you the first hint the green skin or the shell?"

"Well, when master Splinter found us..." Don gulped. " He really did not know much about turtles, for which we cannot blame him because he was a pet rat not a reptilian biologist and even them have some troubles with the traits in young reptilians, I mean for snakes they basically have to surgically verify and…"

"Donatello!" Leonardo said again in an angry tone interrupting Donnie's monologue.

"Well basically you are not a…" Don gasped. "Er…have you ever considered changing your bandanna to another color? I don't know maybe a pastel color? A p... p... p…ink one?"

Leo stared at Don for a minute not fully getting the implications of Don's words: why on earth would he switch to a pink one? Blue was a good color, which Splinter had chosen for him, but he really did not care about it. He looked at Don's bandanna. Maybe Don wanted to trade his purple bandanna for a blue one. He could not blame him: that color was a difficult one. He was fine either way; though if he had a choice he would go for a black one, yes midnight black seem cooler and a lot easier to get than the blue color one. He even had talked to Master Splinter about it, who had adamantly refused.

He finally voiced his thoughts. "You can have the blue color if you want, I'll even talk to master Splinter about it, but I must warn you I have not been very successful in my quest for a black one, I guess master Splinter still has trouble distinguishing us without the color reference." he smirked pointing at his bandanna.

Don returned the laugh painfully, shaking his head. "Leo you really don't get it right?"

"This talk is turning weirder than those with Mikey. Yes I really do not get it" Leo said calmly, when suddenly the tone choice implications stroke him as the proverbial anvil falling on the head of the character in those cartoons. He shook his head and shivered. No Donnie could not possibly be talking about that; he must have misunderstood something as he certainly did not feel any inclination to paint his room in pink and start collecting ponies, ballerinas or whatever but then... he really wasn't human so he did not know, but certainly he would have noticed before, have suspicions of any kind. He shook his head again making his mind go blank and raised his gaze.

"Donnie, would you mind speaking your mind in plain simple English please? No more circling around." Leo said in a collected voice.

"You were different from the rest of us from the beginning…" Don stopped.

"Different species perhaps?" Leo said. "That would explain a few things." Such as why he was leaner, had more trouble gaining muscle, had grown slower.

"Almost right, but no, what I mean…is you were…" he gulped. "I mean you are like we are: a mutant trachemys scripta elegans yes... but unlike us you are… a female one."

Leonardo was caught in a hysteric laughter. "Yes... sure. And Mike is the Cheshire cat, Raph is going to wear a tutu for his next night round with Casey and I forgot it is April's fools! You almost got me Don" he prepared to leave when Don's face told him he was not really joking.

"Ok, you are serious." Leo gave Don a deep glare.

"Positive." Don nodded.

"You are sure Klunk did not mess with your papers again or Mike hasn't been playing with your computer?"

Don was upset that Leo was questioning his knowledge. '_He'_… ugh… Donatello wanted to scream… had always trusted him. "No I double checked... five times. I am the one here with chelonian knowledge worth a PhD and you are questioning my expertise?" Donnie met Leo's surprised eyes.

"You truly did not know? You did not even suspect a thing?" Donnie asked.

"I never really thought about it, I am not the one with a soap opera obsession like Mike or a hormone like driven temper like Raph." Leo said. "But whatever." he said calmly.

"That is all you want to say?" Don replied.

"There is nothing I can do about it, right? Well maybe now I can feel at ease singing 'I feel pretty'," he said with an evil tone and approaching Donnie looking at him straight into the eyes and tapping his plastron, she added "but I would rather this be our little secret, one that will get you disemboweled should you ever mention it again." Leo said with a deceiving smile that froze Don to the bones as Leo left his lab.

"Whatever you say," he said, embarrassed to notice how beautiful… err… Lea? truly was and having to reconsider about the aggressiveness level the females were said to possess.

* * *

**Author's note**

Ok Leo's fans please don't kill me. I am a big fan of the TMNT, particularly of Leonardo. I have all the movies, love both the old cartoon and the 2003 one not much into the Fast Forward though (I cannot see Leo's improvement anywhere and he already trained with the Ancient one and the tribunal). As I've never been much of a comic fan, the turtle comics have always strike me as difficult to read.

I had the idea for a while: determining a reptilian gender can be really tricky before they reached puberty so I wondered how Splinter found out and I have restrained myself but after reading a fanfic where Leo is exposed to laughing gas and sings the "I feel pretty" song I just had to write it.

The characteristics I describe fit those of the read eared slider morphological differences: once they mature females are larger and have shorter nails.

Special thanks to the official Beta of this fic, Lady-Kassy for revising this chapter


	2. Awkwardness

All TMNT characters are copyrighted by Mirage studios and were created by Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird. And this is a non-profit fanfic.

* * *

**Awkwardness**

Don was speechless after his little conversation with his "brother" Leonardo. To tell the truth he wanted to cry. Now that he had put things in perspective, his older brother had always striken him as different from the rest of them. But the findings really topped any previous notion he may have had. Had he not seen the results personally, he would have never believe it. Shell! he still doubted them!

He took his screwdriver and felt all his muscles tingle. Man! did she have to become so vicious at sparring? Unconsciously the genius turtle had become self-conscious around Leo lately. Something she did not take lightly.

First, after Leo came from the shower with only a towel on her shoulders, heading to her room, Don had crashed with her and had unintentionally blushed in a deep purple color. Leo had just met his eyes and shook her head and headed straight to her room after having given Don a not so light kick with her elbow, urging him to move aside.

The sparring practice had not been a memorable moment for Splinter had chosen to pair them and Leo had chosen to use a bo staff instead of swords. Don was still grateful for the choice though otherwise he would be sporting several cuts instead of the bruises due to the beating he had taken. A non repentant Leo had only gained a reprimand from Splinter about this supposed to be a friendly match.

"Dude! With your own weapon!What did you do? He usually only spars like that against Raph." Mike had joked, as he tended his bruised purple bandanna brother.

However, Leo appeared in the infirmary's threshold with an unreadable gaze and so interrupted their friendly talk, staring at Don, who could feel as Leo's hazel brown stern eyes peer him, trying to catch his gaze.

"Mike, Master Splinter is waiting for you, something about comics spread all over the place going into the dumpster." Michelangelo stopped and looked at his older brother, pleading.

"Yes, I will finish." Leonardo said, catching the ice pack Mikey had tossed as he rushed to save his precious collection.

Don averted his eyes as Leo whispered while not so carefully treating the worst of them. "You hold back in a fight again, and this bruises will look like a walk in the park. And, by the way, that is not a threat, it is a promise."

Don shivered as he worked on a new project feeling all his muscles tingle. Leo could be really scary when she wanted.

* * *

**Author's note**

Revised version courtesy of Lady-Kassy

Thanks a lot to all of you who reviewed and marked and inspired me to continue, the story kind of hijacked my thoughts for a month and is almost fully written (it even sprouted a sequel, don't ask until this one is done), suggestion and comments will be appreciated.


	3. Coming to terms

All TMNT characters are copyrighted by Mirage studios and were created by Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird. And this is a non-profit fanfic.

* * *

**Coming to terms**

To tell the truth Leonardo had been floored after that little secret had been revealed to her, especially since now that she had all the pieces, it really made sense and she felt like a complete fool.

_'Just when I thought I had sorted out the height issue.'_ She thought, looking at the picture taken before her departure in which her height was even with Mikey. She sighed, playing with her bandanna's tails. And worse, to be honest, hadn't Don put it on the table, she would still be ignorant on the matter and, all things considered, that could be bad. But Don having the gall to brag about his knowledge on the matter did not suit her well.

She had not been lying when she made the point: a warrior was neither male nor female in the battlefield and, as far as she was concerned, nothing had changed. She had learnt _'by force'_ to accept things which can not change and to accept that perfection was beyond the mortal realm, but the things that might still be were an entirely different matter; the team dynamics that had taken years to consolidate and that were already rusty after her two-year pilgrimage could be shattered in a second.

She reflected a minute about how different things would be if she had grown with this knowledge, despite the futility of it. She would certainly be wielding a different weapon. Probably poison needles and since she could not use her appearance to her advantage and therefore could not engage in any of the usual _kunoichi _disguises, she would have had to learn more about poisons and fortunetelling as she was so proficient in the kitchen; though master Splinter had probably not a strong gender bias as a true ninja human master would have, the females never became true samurai or shinobi for that matter.

_'A kunoich_i.' She sighed. '_A remarkable difference'_ Of course there were exceptions like Karai but then the Shredder was not human and who knew what went through that Utrom head, '_Don't go there!' _she commanded herself, wishing she had trained longer with the Ancient one but on the other hand "_your's not the way of the sword_" as he refused to continue her training when she tried to reach him again kind of still stung. Despite all the respect she had for her sensei she was certain Splinter would not have been above placing her in a defensive and healing position, she had attested April's training after all, never as the leader that was for sure, being the only one would mean being protected. She laughed.

"_So much for fearless leader_" if Raph found.

Raph! Her hothead brother an endless source of headaches would certainly take it the wrong way "_beaten by your sister_", too much TV and human prejudices she sighed.

Michelangelo. She wondered if he would actually have the patience to sit down through the whole explanation. Mikey's hyperactive character would probably leave her wondering if he really got any of it.

And then Don... _'Well he knew it already'_, so there was no discussion on the matter and had somehow accepted it and hopefully would not tell a soul. She'd have to thank him later for taking the trouble of making sure the lair was empty. Well as soon as he regained his senses.

One thing was certain though: it had been her sword, the one who had lead them in all the battles. Who knew if they would be alive under other leadership? Well, maybe they would have been better off, as she reflected on her suicidal attack on the spaceship.

She dismissed all those guilt ridden feelings and remembered her training with the Great Ancient. _'One more secret he failed to tell me about_', she meditated, though the comments he had made, after her quite difficult quest to track him, still caught her off balance. She opened her secret vault, below a loose brick beneath her bed and pulled the stash of jewels she had collected during her travels, unable to return them to their original owners. She had kept them and sort of brought them back with her for emergencies and such and she had failed to mention them because 'to tell the truth she really love the emeralds glitter' and the shopping spree his brothers would get into if they found out would give her troubles. Probably she would get scolded for Mikey getting sick for eating all the junk food available in New York, Don buying any gadget known to human kind and Raph probably getting more beer than he could handle.

"_Like I could admonish them." _She sighed; that was another topic she had barely touched with any of them. Not that she was very proud of it, but there had been no other way. She had not been above permanently, retiring the local thugs almost systematically, even if they did get apprehended they usually were freed within days, and there was no local police to even deliver them in most of the cases. She had gained certainty, after certain incident, that they would just keep their black mail of the surrounding villages. She had been even more disconcerted to find that the endless cycle would just continue as any underling even worse than the previous one would take over. As Splinter had said: if you try to bear the weight of the world, you will get crushed. But it was not as if she could just walk away, and in the end of course she felt she had failed.

_'I really don't get humans.'_ she thought finally. She took some of the smallest jewels and placed them on the pocket of her coat as she headed to the local pawn shop. Hopefully these jewels would finally serve their purpose and help her with her little project.

* * *

**Author's notes**

Revised version courtesy of Lady-Kassy

In the movie it got to my attention the order Leonardo was imposing in the jungle town and let us say it was toned down and yet down right dark. With Raph we see the crooks beaten and packaged to the police and sort of freed just days afterwards. But in Leonardo's case, well the goods are returned alone and it is heavily implied there was no organization to deliver this sort of paramilitary crooks, so it sort of leaves us guessing what happened to the bearded guy.


	4. Learning Pains

All TMNT characters are copyrighted by Mirage studios and were created by Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird. And this is a non-profit fanfic.

* * *

**Learning pains**

She spent most of the following days before Splinter's return gathering information about Chelonian biology browsing Internet from a secondhand notebook she had gotten at the pawnshop , while she waited for the books she had ordered using April's account. Fortunately during her absence Don had arranged the Wi-Fi connection so she did not need to use the computer at his lab.

She had picked them up today and since Don was quite adept of ordering things; she had not raised suspicions from April as she handed her the money a few days before.

After opening the first book she felt overwhelmed with the word she had to check in the dictionary and wanted to slap herself for not all the information applied to her case as there were no description of mutant turtles, there was one about a two headed one, not that it helped her case much, but pride forbid her to go to her brother for the many question she wanted solved, so even if she had to get biology for dummies she would get them herself had been her resolution.

She was unusually quiet the rest of Splinter time out and with Don purposely avoiding her she barely spoke a few sentences aside from training practice which was not left aside. 'Did they even train once; while I was out' she wondered and she saw them struggle with the katas. Despite their great performance in the Winter's affair. She had to admit those three really were out of shape. Despite Mike's and Raph defensive arguments about the brilliant careers of the Turtle Titan and the Night Watcher and Don he had lost speed 'not that he had much to begin with' she frowned feeling this was going to get her in trouble. She sighed looking at Don dismal performance and decided to call off the practice realizing that she had to talk to master Splinter about the training once he returned later that evening. Either way Don was practically avoiding her, Mikey had probably eaten too much sugar during breakfast, and Raph ...well was Raph.

Raph look at her a bit baffled, Leo calling the practice off was odd indeed and he still had an uneasy feeling around Leonardo after the Winters incident, and was hell bound to quiet his inner turmoil the best way he knew.

* * *

Later

She was reading in the living room about Chelonian biology and as she read on mating behavior she turned several shades of purple as she realized something. Her thoughts were suddenly interrupted as Raphael managed to snatch the book from his hand

"Let's see what makes fearless blush?" Raphael said as he avoided Leo's intents to get the book back before they could get a hint of the content.

Mike walked in the room and receiving a signal from Raph; catch the book, which had by now lost it phony cover of Ninjutsu through history.

"Reptilian biology, Dude is this Don's?" Mike questioned

"Really?" Raph said disappointed as he had expected something he could use to tease Leo with. Mike suddenly lost interest on the matter and tossed the book back heading to the fridge.

"Seen any hot Galapagos chick lately with whom you can actually use this?" Raph said opening the book on the chapter Leonardo was reading "and you say I am the odd one"

Leonardo now downright angry stealthily grabbed the book back by force making Raphael loss his balance and fall back hard on his back before Mike had actually left the room.

"That was refreshing" Leonardo said disappearing from the living room leaving two very perplexed turtles in the living room.

* * *

Later in the kitchen

"Man you should have seen it Leo moved so fast Raph did not even know what hit him"

"Shut up" Raph growled still nursing a headache from the fall he had taken "it is not my fault fearless has such odd tastes, I would have expected of Don though but Leo I thought he would go after Shredder spawn"

Don was quietly watching the interaction between his brothers, he had lately become quite bit reserved trying not to give Leo's secret away by carelessness but being alluded replied "What kind of book was Leo reading?"

"Cheloinial battleships" said Mike.

"No, no courtship" corrected Raph "dammed Leo."

His rattle was interrupted by Don pounding the tables as he mumbled "That stubborn, little agh!"

"Yie trouble in paradise!" Raph teased as Don furiously answered "you stay out of this!" with such force that even mighty Raph felt intimidated. He looked at the departing Don and then to the also startled Mikey who replied "Dunno he has been kind of edgy lately"

* * *

Donatello dashed out of the kitchen quite angry. He had expected Leo to have enough sense to approach him with her doubts. He was the scientist and Leo had always trust him in that field, as he trusted Leo for training and combat. Donatello knew how hard science could be, the details were gross if not viewed by a third person point of view and could give her a very wrong perspective not to mention the news he had given her could shake the strongest mind.

He should have told Splinter first he thought. But then he would have his "sister's enmity" forever and to tell the truth being the only of his brothers who had actively defended him against abusive Raph when they were little, whose lead he had trusted all this years as they all had used her as a sort of shield to develop their own interest counting on her to watch their backs on battle, to talk to father, to... Maybe they had been laying to much weight on her burden he reflected.

He finally found her in the dojo, 'had she not call the practice off' he thought 'did she had any other interest or hobbies' he thought at one time he remembered her fond of keeping the sensei's bonsais but after the destruction of their first home well none of them survived.

Leo was practicing some katas without swords and moved with the characteristic grace that had always earn her praises from father and grunts and teasing from Raph about being a show off.

To Don it now stroke him as the natural grace fitting a female but a grace April or Angel certainly did not share maybe Karai shared it but he was usually to busy keeping himself and his brothers in one piece to actually notice it.

"Leo, We need to talk" he said focusing in her elusive form.

Leo sighed and finished the movement before stopping

"All is been said as far as I am concerned" She said now taking the swords to practice.

"You need to talk to someone" Don said coldly ignoring the fact that angering a sword wielding probably unstable turtle was not such a great idea.

"A warrior doesn't waste his time over trifle things" Leo said with her back to Don

"Trifle?" Don said shocked someone had to beat some sense into that girl.

"You haven't spoken to father, have you?" he said recalling the call the had receive the day before.

"It is no big deal Donnie" Leo said annoyed 'why can he let it go?' She questioned herself.

"Really, well maybe you won't mind me breaking the news?" Don said heading to the exit and feeling a breeze as a shuriken hit the frame of the door a few inches from him.

"Not here, not now!" Leonardo said noticing Raph's figure heading into the dojo.

* * *

The night round Splinter had sent them after his arrival had been a complete mess, they had been ambush by the Foot again probably Karai trying to lure Leonardo to have her personal payback. The fight itself had been uneventful, save for Don trying to take a lot of the weight on the fights almost getting himself killed in the process.

By the end of the fight the foot ninja left limping and the turtles had gotten their share of bruising particularly Don which in Leo's point of view was completely unacceptable considering they had been facing mere thugs. It was Leonardo's voice who seared the night as they walked through the sewer, not sure what to do about Don new attitude in battle "I do not require a freaking bodyguard" she said finally exhausted, having seen too many close calls with Don that night to let it go. She then full forced barred Don to the wall and said "You either concentrate or you will get yourself killed" she coldly added meeting Don's eyes in a fiery hazel blaze.

"Hey bro chill out!, will ya" Raph said interfering, surprised at Leo's outburst "This is the last we need"

"Yes right…" she said regaining her cool head and easing the pressure on Don "we will talk about this later" she said leading them back as fast as she could.

* * *

**Author's note**

Though I will try to keep Leonardo in character, she is going through a lot, Leonardo is shown to have quite some temper as his fight with the Rat king proved and she is perfectly aware their fights are not a game, so any slip and she would be carrying a empty shell back home.

I have the whole outline for the story so I am basically editing it. Thanks a lot for your reviews.


	5. Paternal intervention, not working

All TMNT characters are copyrighted by Mirage studios and were created by Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird. And this is a non-profit fanfic.

* * *

**Paternal intervention not working**

"So... would you mind explaining what has gotten into both of you?" Splinter asked staring at his two sons knelt before him after the third incident that week.

"It is my fault master. Don has gotten behind on his training and I should have noticed it earlier." Leo said, assuming the guilt as usual.

"That's not true." retorted Don, defying Leo.

Splinter sighed, not sure what to think. To him, this was an usual talk with Leonardo but the sparring mate had been traded for the peace-loving brother, therefore it had to be Leonardo's problem, concluded the old rat.

"Leonardo you disappoint me. You are the leader, you should protect your brothers. You will be cleaning the dojo for a month to meditate on this matter." Splinter said, not entirely sure that it will be a punishment for Leonardo, as she basically lived there. "You are dismissed."

"Yes, sensei." Leo said, raising and heading to the exit.

"Donatello!" Splinter called, urging his purple bandanna son to stay behind, to Leo's surprise, she stood still, clenching her fists hoping to be called for a minute, but decided to continue with a sigh, as her name had not been pronounced.

"I am quite discontent with this growing enmity between you two, I do not wish for you to develop a Raphael-like relation with him. Is there anything you need to tell me?" the rat asked, once his eldest was out of sight.

Don felt as Splinter's gaze peered into him, demanding answers.

"No, father. It is nothing, really. We just need to talk." Don said, not meeting his eyes.

"Then do it and help the peace return to our home." Splinter commanded, dismissing him, unsure of the reactions he had gotten from both his sons.

"Dude, dude what did you do to get at each other's throats?" Don heard Mike ask as he sat on a chair trying to avoid going near the infirmary as that was on the way to Leo's room. He grunted as a response.

"Guess fearless ain't happy only nagging my back, so he is after yours now." Raph said, playing with his sais. He did not feel happy with Leo focusing his attention on Don lately, but could not really place the feeling as to why, so he decided to act on it as Don entered the kitchen.

Don ignored them and quietly began to clean the wounds he had gotten, at this rate he would soon rival his brother's scar collection.

"Lover's quarrel?" Raph joked, resorting to the pranks he had used while Leonardo was away at the constant: 'Was Leo here?' Don used to scold him with.

"Why don't you marry him if you like him that much? I wonder what you see in that good for nothing, I took him down yo' now and he is as ugly as it gets." Raph snarled, seeing the reaction he had gotten from Don.

Mike joined the prank: "Donnie and Leo under the tree K.I.S.S.I.."

"What would I want with that stubborn, bossy, marred..." Donatello snapped, trying to shut Mike up.

Their blabbering was interrupted by the sound of a sneeze, and they all went silent as Leonardo walked from behind the fridge door, closing it with a stoic face, as stealthily as usual. She sighed and headed out, without saying a word.

* * *

**Author's note:**

Revised version courtesy Lady-Kassy

I have never liked the way Splinter seems to discipline the turtles, as if Leonardo was the only one responsible for everything, though the thought a general is responsible for his troops actions comes to mind. During Leonardo's absence it seems as he basically let them do as they pleased, particularly Raphael. All poor Leo hears is: "I am disappointed with this and that". I would not be surprised if Don resorted to the "Was Leo here" since Splinter did not help his case much either. Did he took a extended holiday and dumped all the responsibility to Don?


	6. Mirror mirror on the wall…

All TMNT characters are copyrighted by Mirage studios and were created by Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird. And this is a non-profit fanfic.

* * *

**Mirror mirror on the wall…**

She had headed straight back to the dojo to clean it, deciding that that was the best course of action. Raph and Mikey she was used to but now Don himself had partaken in the 'Mock the leader day'.  
_  
'Must be a national holiday I have been missing,' _she thought amused. She breathed deeply trying to meditate but, for some reason, felt unable to. It seemed her plan to frighten Don to keep him quiet was no longer working._ 'But well he must have realized by now I am not exactly able to carry on my threat, especially since I spend half my time watching his back'. _She arranged the weapons and decided to leave it for the next day, opting for a full clean up, including mats, as she had discovered the dojo had not been thoroughly cleaned in a while. She then decided to take a shower.

_'Cool water from a cascade pounding in my head, never sounded so tempting,'_ (even if it almost sent her into brumation),_ 'no wonder the Ancient One won't train me anymore. I mean if the tribunal did not think me worthy of a weapon...'_ Just anything seemed better than to think about the events on the kitchen. But she realized it would make things even worse, so, taking a hand mirror April had forgotten some time ago as if it was a dangerous artifact; she decided to take a look at herself, something she seldom did. _'Vanity is not befitting of a warrior,' _she used to think. But lately bloody hormones differed.

She looked at herself critically. Was there anything beautiful in her? '_Not that it is important, of course', _she thought. A bald green head missing the lovely mane humans had and her genius brother seemed to dream about _'Djhanna my love, wait for me!'_ She chuckled. _'Not really'._

She then focused in the large mirror and she looked at her skin marred with countless battle scars in a never ending crisscross. Certainly not the smooth skin females were said to possess according to Raph: some scars were from life threatening incidents like the beating she had taken from the elite, some from sparring, given to her ironically mostly by Raph. _'I do need to be more careful.'_ she thought, considering the angles of some of them, realizing it would be futile since most of them had been obtained taking blows for her brothers, something she would keep doing probably. _'More practice then.'_

Her flat and marred plastron differed from the buxom beauties Mike idolized. _"I am a turtle, what did you expect?"_ She spat at herself and she then painfully touched the missing part of her shell. Ah! her broken shell! For that there was no witty remark, as it was a constant reminder of her defeat to the Shredder and to her own dark side. She had already accepted those facts, dealt with them but it did not mean they no longer hurt.

"Guess he is right I am all marred, but there is nothing I can do about it." she said, unconsciously letting the mirror slip from her grasp and break in a thousand pieces. She kneeled to pick the larger fragments and saw several small images of herself on the floor. She looked at the forlorn expression of her own eyes, not innocent as Mike's, not passionate as Raph's, not wondering as Don's. _'The tempered eyes of a battle forged true warrior,'_ she had once heard a sworn enemy say. She unconsciously pressed her hand on one of the shards, cutting herself and gasped as she saw the blood drip, confused. _'What was I thinking?'_

* * *

**Author's note:**

Revised version brought to you by Lady-Kassy

Thanks a lot to Eshe, who reviewed every single chapter. And please, if you see any typos or things that aren't clear, please let me know.

Brumation: reptilian hibernation, meditating beneath a waterfall (not Niagara size) would seem likely to happen during his time with that Ancient One but considering Leonardo is a cold blooded creature I would not be surprised if the cold water would send him into involuntary brumation which would have gotten him reprimanded.


	7. Open mouth insert foot

All TMNT characters are copyrighted by Mirage studios and were created by Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird. And this is a non-profit fanfic.

* * *

**Open mouth insert foot**

Leonardo, after a long mental tirade with herself while she pounded the filthy mats of the even filthier dojo, had finally decided to bury the hatchet or, in this case, her swords, hopefully not on her brother and left a message for Don on his lab: "Let's talk then." reluctantly acknowledging she sort of needed to talk to him; so they could move on to more important things like: _Why did he seem to have forsaken training? Why had they not cleaned the dojo since she left?_ as she discovered a rotten piece of pizza under one of the mats. _Had Klunk died in her absence and that accounted for that smell coming from Mikey's room? _was another mystery she did not want to phantom, for she will miss Klunk, having been his most frequent caretaker, a fact everyone else seemed to ignore. _When was the last time anyone fixed the punching bag?_ for it seemed it was already dripping sand, _Was Don actually sleeping at all?, _considering the bags she had seen under his eyes, _why on Earth had he gotten a Tech support job?, why did Don suddenly think she could not take care of herself on battle?_. After a minute she stopped and reflected.

"I sound like their mother..." she sighed. "Just great, but not really. I mean our mother or mothers?" She did not know for sure. "Would not have gone any farther than place us somewhere more or less adequate and let us fend for ourselves and they hopefully spend her/their lives basking in the sun somewhere..." Which, as tempting as it sounded, explained the insanely high infant mortality rate among turtles in general. She had read about "1 in a 100". _I mean if we were to abide by wilderness standards,_ not counting the sewer seemed far more dangerous. _"None of us would be alive..." _And taking her brother's behavior as they grew up into account, that did not sounded too far fetched._ Well I guess I do need to be on their backs until they grow up and leave the nest... I mean... lair and do whatever they are planning to do, which hopefully won't include me as anything but their annoying... _Who was she kidding? _This whole thing sucks, _she thought painfully suddenly envious of the two headed turtle.

* * *

Don saw the note on his monitor with some apprehension as its structure of "Old waterworks 7 pm sharp, come alone." sounded more like the notes they would get from the Foot or the Purple Dragons. It was just missing the kunai, the arrow or the less elegant attempted punch in the face the purple Dragons were more used to.

_"Shell, she could just have told me over practice."_ But who knew what went through his sister's mind this days, aside from pushing him in practice as if there were no tomorrow. Having read a bit about psychology this last few days, he was concerned about the way he had delivered the news, people off themselves for less and was actually relieved to see an opening. _'Finally she seems to have gotten some sense in that thick head of hers'. _He pondered of the topics he wanted to discuss with her and had already finished his list on the way to the Waterworks, and Mikey's idea of playing the loudest game in his collection at high volume was not helping him concentrate.

* * *

7.00 pm More than less

After taking a short cut that had ended him in a dead end, he had finally found his way almost on time and was taken a back by the welcoming glare he got from Leonardo as she cough to alert him of her presence. Which was rather depressing considering he was supposed to be a full fledged ninja now after they sort of took down all the Shredder's varieties this world had to offer. Well there was Karai but she was like the substitute not the real thing, ignoring the fact that she was the only one to hit right home intentionally, for Baxter was a fluke. Seemed the extra boost from the Winters fight had just went away.

"You don't trust me not to tell, yet I have kept my mouth shut." Don said defensively, feeling the admonishing gaze he was getting. _'She would not disembowel me right? She was bluffing right?' _He suddenly felt in a horror movie... Yes, that one with the evil girl who never slept and could do psychic tricks that had given him nightmares for weeks.

"No, I do trust you, but I don't trust Mike and Raph not to be noisy." She said calmly. "You are getting sloppy by the way: you did not felt my presence even once, though I was following you from the exit of the lair." Leo stated.

"Yes, because you are, like, the perfect ninja and I am not as talented as you." He said, not getting any of his practiced speech right and that had sounded better in his mind than how it had come out.

"So what do you have to tell to this stubborn, bossy and marred turtle?" Leonardo asked coldly, starting to get irritated after having spent most of the day hitting mats, sweeping dead animal and other unidentified objects from under the mats, checking the practice weapons, fixing the punching bag and the practice dummy because no one had cleaned the dojo during her absence. Maybe last time they had simply invited Karai over so they could move to a new more cleaner location instead of cleaning it during her time with the Ancient One. '_Just what is wrong with you?' _she though, annoyed at herself.

Leonardo's comment had disarmed him and overcoming his nerves. Remembering why he had come and what he had read and in his most scholar accent, he told her: "Leo you need to talk to somebody, to open up to someone. If not me, maybe April. She is a girl. She will understand." Don was certain that would be an excellent solution. Yes, April was smart. She would know what to do and he will no longer be the target of Leo's attention, which was more terrifying than it sounded.

Leonardo, who could have been on a different plane of existence, just rolled her eyes at her smart brother's suggestion. "You want me" she pointed at herself "to take advice from a human who is dating Casey Jones?" Leonardo said, looking at Don straight in the eyes, her reasoning sounding like as a backup fighter. Casey was fine, not optimal, but fine. However, as a life mate choice, Leo often wondered what went through their red haired friend's head; maybe hanging with mutants like them was toxic after all.

"Well, there must be someone else?" Don wondered, admitting to himself he had also been in that train of thought not long ago and was kind of surprised Leo would not trust April after all she had done for them.

Leo laughed briefly as he went through their female acquaintances: Angel? Too young and I don't know her enough. Renet? When did we end last time we saw her? Oh yeah, stranded for 3 months in the Cretaceous. That would work just fine. I will just bribe her to take me, right after I met April in the jungle I will steal the stone general and avoid another near catastrophe from the start, but then a lot of monster would still roam the Earth and that could not have been good right? She shook her head why did everything they got involved with seemed to have transcendental implications eluded her. _We are freaking danger beacons._ "Sure when you find another female mutant teen just let me know." She said feeling more and more despaired.

"Well, there must be somebody..." Don replied, also going through their acquaintances and coming as empty-handed as his sister.

For once Leo spoke her mind to make a point: "The only one I would feel like talking is Karai and guess what? She wants me dead. Happy?" she took a deep breath and continued: "Now that we've cleared that issue..."

"We have cleared what?" Don exclaimed, kind of confused.

Seeking Don's eyes, she sighed and asked in a commanding tone: "Donatello, has my ability to lead been impaired?"

Don shook his head, not getting her point.

"My strength diminished?"

He shook his head again. _'Why did she have to mention Karai?'_ he thought.

"Have my swords lost their sharpness?"

"No, Leo," Don answered, starting to get her point. Well he though he did at least.

"So then, why did you suddenly think you should watch my back? Does that mean you no longer trust me because of the temperature I was incubated?" she asked, looking at him straight in the eyes. She saw him shake his head and continued in a softer tone. "Don, it's me, Leonardo! The same old bossy and stubborn Leo whose judgment you have trusted all these years. I have not changed that much. Or so I expect." Leonardo said, trying to get her point across.

"Yes you have, Lea!" Donatello snapped, still angry at the mention of Karai deserving more her trust and the obvious implication of his not far from perfect skills when it came to battle, which had been remarked quite explicitly by Raphael that morning implying he was trying to get Leonardo killed.

Leonardo flinched. "So this is all about territorial marking after all. I thought I would only have to deal with Raphael about it but...nevermind." She finished her sentence considering words would be pointless.

"What are you talking about?" Donatello said, confused.

"I have read, Donnie. I might not be as smart as you, but I have read enough of chelonian behavior to know Raphael's constant bickering is probably caused by an unconscious instinct to… ugh!" she punched the wall still refusing to believe it herself.

"Courtship." Donatello blushed as he recalled the events of the previous day and realized it made sense: Mike bothered Raphael more but he was always on Leo's case no matter what, but then it was not exactly new.

"And now you!" Leo said, with a disappointed tone.

"Now I what?" asked Don, starting to feel he was by now completely loss at this conversation.

"You too want to show off as the alpha turtle, that is fine. Well then, I will inform master Splinter you wish to have a fight for the leader's seat, as it is your privilege as a member of the clan." Leonardo said coldly and meeting his eyes, she added: "About my decision not to let the others now, as the current team leader, I forbid it and if you want that to change you will have to take the leader's spot from me." She turned her back to Don. "You, as well as I, keep secrets unauthorized. Does inter-dimensional travel ring a bell?" She said, clenching her fists and heading to the nearest sewer without looking back.

"Wait Leo, how did you..." Don wondered, as he was sure April had not said a word about it.

As he saw Leonardo disappear, he slowly went through the conversation they had just held, slowly letting the events fall into some sort sense that hit him anvil hard.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

Thanks to Lady-Kassy for revising this chapter

Thanks a lot for your reviews. I went through this chapter again and it was missing something, mainly Leo's POV I think. This chapter could also be called misunderstanding consider it a Mars' talk to Venus which has gone awfully wrong.

There was an episode in which April went to retrieve her uncle Augie and took Donatello with her, considering the previous time they had ended in the nest of some wasp like flesh eating creatures and had narrowly escaped, I don't think he bragged about it later considering he could have requested backup being the least proficient fighter.

Raphael's attitude towards his brothers does remind of a dominance feud, even if they aren't meant that way. Actually the fight in the roof looked more like a fight to show off who was the bigger and meaner turtle than anything else. Though it was cool by the way, actually one of the best choreograph fight I have seen in a movie, even if they were cgi.

In case you wonder, I am trying to make it fit in a time line that includes the 2003 series including the lost season and I am guessing Leonardo left after his return to the future (FF is hard to include so be understanding). I was quite surprised to see Leonardo being almost the same size of Mike in that one, if not shorter, though why they make his shell scar vanish into thin air yet acknowledge the existence of the Lost Season (See the Journal), never explained why Leonardo did not get a weapon from the tribunal considering they were all going to be fighting demons and his swords just did not do the trick, it was frankly disappointing.


	8. Leader me!

All TMNT characters are copyrighted by Mirage studios and were created by Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird. And this is a non-profit fanfic.

* * *

**Leader me?**

Don stood still for a minute, feeling the dread building inside him. Had he somehow challenged Leonardo for the leader's seat? How and when the shell had that happened? He went through the conversation again, trying to determine what had he said that could have led her to believe that. He sighed. Man! He was now in trouble. But she could be joking right? But then Leonardo never joked with things like that, not even with Raphael. He would have punched the wall, but to tell the truth that would hurt and he would need to keep himself in his best shape for the upcoming beating he feared that roamed in the air, or he could try to talk to her again. Maybe apologize, not sure about what, but he would anyway and would try to restart the conversation from scratch.

Having been the temporary leader during Leonardo's prolonged absence, he had a much better idea than his brothers about what leadership implied and he had never had any romantic views about it to begin with and after having a taste of it, it was a cup he would gladly decline. He was the most surprised when Splinter sort of put him in charge, but considering one was a walking time bomb and the other was an irresponsible brat, it had actually made sense. Of course Splinter had not encouraged any patrolling activity, so Don had little to worry about watching their backs and, still, he felt those 2 years had already taken too much from him, the second one in particular as he felt his jailing responsible time see did not have a deadline anymore. He had not even tinkered with any new device after Leonardo had sort of played the shadow ninja attic way too seriously, deciding to stop writing and delayed her return for almost a year worrying them all, though Master Splinter had assured them he was still alive through "the mystic voodoo" as Mike called it, But to Donatello, a call, a telegram, e-mail, even smoke signals (_'Come on, it could not be that hard...')_ would have been better, much better, as their father had failed to give them a reason for Leo's delay or even his departure. The whole training thing alone seemed fishy, if not overly dangerous, and since Master Splinter had not allowed Don to organize a search party, even if he had actually figured out how to track the missing turtle, he had only shelved the project somewhere and focused on the job he had taken to get some economic independence from April, slowly allowing it take almost all his time, and actually encouraging Mike to keep up with the entertainer job he had started, which was paid better than Don's by hour ironically. And this while trying to hush as much as possible Raphael's affirmations that Leo had probably ran away.

He breathed deeply again, looking at the forsaken place Leo had chosen. He had thought he knew Leo at least a bit better than his brothers for they usually talked, but ever since her return... even before he had not so tactfully broke the news, she had been withdrawn and quiet and had skillfully avoided their previous frequent talks, so he still did not know much about Leo's training, not that she talked much about her time from the Ancient One either, except it had been in a jungle and Leo had played the how had April called it... "the jungle ghost", who sounded surprisingly similar to a certain now retired "Nightwatcher" for his comfort. Considering his job done, he had just thrown the towel back to Leo immediately after her arrival and never had given a thought over it. He could have demanded answers as he briefly updated her but had settled just by not being the responsible one anymore, feeling the mantle of leadership taking its burden from his shoulders.

Maybe dealing with Raph and Mikey and the whole leader's duties had been hard on her too. He remembered April giving Leo a skeptical eye upon her returned as though she did not expected it. But being thrown into battle that soon had just made it less obvious and since Raphael had somehow managed to get her captured, the details were not readily available as too how.

His brief glance at leadership during Leo's time in wherever-she-was had taught him that controlling his brothers was no walk in the sewers, dealing with master Splinter's expectations was not either and he certainly did not want that seat back. But what really surprised him from what he could salvage from that conversation was that Leonardo seemed to believe them to have too little self control. That was exactly what he had wanted to avoid from the beginning, why he believed he could offer some sort of guidance, being the closest thing to a mutant red slider expert, why this was not something she could bottle up and let it explode sometime in the future unexpectedly. She should know better they did not act on instinct alone but the stubborn female acted as if they were potential... He focused on recollecting his memories of Leonardo before his departure. The Leo with the monk attitude, who had never ogled April or anyone for that matter. Actually the appearance of Karai had sort of quieted Raphael teasing about Leo's orientation, as Leonardo always found an excuse to leave the brotherly midnight talks early and recalling what had been said in some of them, Don blushed and slapped himself. The Leo, who probably had a very wrong image of them.

* * *

The lair was unusually quiet when he found the courage to return, having finally decided on the heartfelt-apology course of action.

He felt his heart flop as Splinter ordered to meet him in his alcove.

"You have challenged Leonardo it seems." Splinter said as soon as Don entered, motioning him to kneel.

Don gulped. He had been so busy thinking what to say to Leo, he had ran out of arguments. "No more than Raph always has," he shyly replied. "I really don't wish to fight."

"I see. But you have issued a challenge for leadership." Splinter stated, tapping the ground with his cane. "This must be resolved as soon as possible."

So much for Leo not carrying her threats, he gulped. "Master Splinter, father no, I don't want Leo's seat, I just need to talk to him."

"I am afraid Donatello, you have grieved your brother enough with your talks, whatever they are about, for he refuses to talk about them." said the old rat, having in mind the mood in which Leonardo had arrived one hour earlier.

"Donatello thinks he would be a better leader and I have taken his challenge." she had said leaving no room for argument, way too angry for Splinter to attempt anything without seriously questioning the authority of Leonardo as the leader. He looked at his upset son lashing at the punching bag, the one he had appointed as leader. He had hoped his time away had finally settled all the turmoil of his eldest but apparently it had not. So Splinter had just said "Very well." Maybe a real fight will finally settled whatever those two had going on.

"Raph has certainly grieved him more! And more times! Then why doesn't he fight Raph?" Don said defensively.

Splinter lowered his head noticing Donatello's worried face. "He has, but because your brother has never seen Raphael as a rival for leadership, as strong and passionate as he is, both of them know Raphael will never be fit to lead, never has really wanted to actually. You on the other hand...I sometimes wonder if I made the right choice, I think we have been a little unfair with your brother." Splinter admitted.

"Me? Fit to lead?" Don laughed nervously, his father had to be joking. "Every time Leo is not leading us or away, the Earth begins to crumble: the Shredder cornered us into April's old store, Karai almost killed us all... it was Leo who found us and set things straight, and when you sent him to his training trip, the whole team dynamics went to hell. Please master Splinter, don't even joke about it."

Splinter let the cursing go and starred at his son sternly. "Nevertheless you will need to face the challenge you have issued, as honor demands. Tomorrow night!" Splinter commanded, still baffled by Leonardo's behavior and Donatello's refusal to fight. He dismissed Donatello and wondered if the others should be present. He decided the best course of action would be to have a formal match before the whole clan.

Don was unable to reply as he somehow dragged himself from his father's room, He truly was in deep trouble now: he did not wanted to be leader ever again and he certainly did not wanted to hurt Leo.

* * *

He had to reflect on this, as Leonardo started her attack: to not hurt Leo went after not taking a beating, and a bad one. He could not remember a single time he had actually manage to beat Leonardo in combat, unless Leo had been sick and hiding it.

To begin with, Don was not so fond of fighting. He still was not back in the pre-Leo-departure-shape and he was fighting Leonardo, a.k.a the one who breathed ninjutsu. The Leonardo who had been the one singled out by the Shredder as a talented warrior, who could stand on equal footing with Shredder and Karai, who had a legend going on Usagi's world, who would have probably become Nexus Champion had luck and the Damyo's son not decided otherwise, who had been trained by a second master, even if it was a short time, who had a dragon avatar (he did too, but Leo's had way more control than him) and who knew what had happened in her travels. The incident with Raph left him wondering if she had maybe a hormonal advantage, but aside from Raph maybe Leo, not wanting to hurt her brother for real, which was an obvious hindrance in battle.

But to Leonardo, it appeared as if Don was holding back and that began irking her to no end. It was bad enough she had to hold her lethal blows, for she obviously would not harm Don seriously, but she would not have a 'I went easy on you' on this, as honor demanded from Don to put up a fight. So she decided on a more aggressive course of action, pushing him harder and harder, letting the frustration build up and letting her defense a bit off as she saw she was not getting Don to react until Don accidentally managed to give her a full force blow, so she had to pull back a lunge of her sword, too close to his neck for her own comfort, and received full a hit with the bo staff on the plastron that send her flying. She raised immediately wiping the blood on her mouth with a hand and regained her battle posture again, now giving him the kind of glare she reserved for enemies.

Don freaked out when he saw the blood and the look on Leo's eyes. He certainly did not want to win and Leo was acting weird, almost unfocused, which would raise that possibility.

He could sense there was something going on with her, that made it look as all hell would break lose if she gave in to whatever she was battling against, aside from Don and he decided he had enough of this madness.

"I yield." Don finally declared. "I don't want to be leader," he said placing his bo staff on the floor and bowing.

"You will fight!" a furious Leo mumbled as she rushed towards him. Only to be stopped by Splinter's cane as he came between them, fearing she would lash at Donatello.

"Leonardo enough!" Splinter commanded, surprised at his eldest outburst and concerned about that look in his eldest's eyes. "He obviously doesn't want to fight and you need to clear your mind!"

Leo breathed deeply, trying to regain her grip. "As you wish, Master. I will remove my disappointing presence then." She panted and, giving a short bow, she left the room and before Splinter said anything else she said: "Yes, master, 2 months of dojo cleaning."

Don stood still not knowing what to think or how to act. Mike and Raphael were too startled to say anything and left as soon as Splinter left; leaving Donatello and his issues in the vacant dojo.

* * *

Don forfeiting the fight had not gone great with Leonardo, who gave him the cold shoulder treatment the next days, using the dojo cleaning as an excuse to not have dinner with them or any other activity, except training and she did most on her own earlier than theirs, as though she was grounded. They were not better off, though Splinter had banned any outside activity until this matter was solved for both of them. But being the proficient ninja she was, she had managed to avoid him. So Don had to resort to the mandatory morning practice Splinter had commanded them to restart in a rare flare of authority, which he usually made Leonardo enforce. He wondered why his father had not stood up for him during Leo's absence.

That day, Don was the first to arrive in the dojo for morning practice, he needed to clear the issues, apologize and make peace or at least a truce but failed to find her as Splinter arrived instead of Leo.

"How come Fearless ain't coming? Big brain here busted the remaining of his ego?" Said Raph also arriving, not sure why he we was sort of pleased with this outcome.

"Enough!" Splinter said, quite concern about Leonardo's dark character resurgence. "He is not feeling well, but he is right about you being out of shape." Splinter said considering the fight he had witnessed a few days ago. "However we will postpone it to the afternoon." Splinter had decided he would be more able to keep up once his joints were less stiff. Mike and Raph shook hands and left a morose Don in the floor.

Don felt awfully guilty, she had refused treatment after the combat and he was worried about the blood he had seen.

Splinter looked at his still kneeling son and said: "I sense a great turmoil in your brother, what ails him eludes me and is quite different from last time. But, as you know, he is no longer really my student since I gave up that right when I sent him to the Ancient One and he will not open to me." The rat admitted, almost painfully.

"Father, I need to talk to Leo alone. I know what is up." Don said seriously.

"Do you think it's a wise thing to do? It really pains me to see the two of you so drifted lately. Is there anything I can do?" Splinter said, feeling lost himself.

"I really need to set the record straight and maybe then s.. I mean, Leo will talk to you father." answered Don, determined to get his message across this time.

* * *

**Author's note:**

Thanks to Lady-Kassy for revising this chapter

Leonardo might appear a bit OC but considering what is coming let's say she is in character.


	9. Danger Pheromones!

**Danger... Pheromones!**

Leonardo was in her room wrapped in a blanket despite the hot temperature the summer had brought. Having successfully avoided her brothers for the past days and coming with a convincing excuse for Master Splinter for today she expected to be left alone, so was not that pleasantly surprised when she heard someone approaching.

"Go away!" she hissed cuddling even more on the blanket

"Leo we need to talk" Don said from the entrance of her room. Wondering if he should venture inside.

"I need to sleep" she hissed throwing him a pillow which Don easily caught. The scene before him was odd; since he knew she usually slept cuddled in a corner almost seated with her swords beside her, always ready to jump and save the day and certainly never this late, unless she was unconscious, and was now completely sprawled over the bed completely covered despite the fact that Don had turned on the fans all over the place a minute ago and the swords were abandoned in the desk almost carelessly.

Donatello sighed and seated in the border of the bed and felt as Leo shivered and moved to the opposite border as far from him as she could. Don took a deep breath to start talking this time more consciously than the previous ones and as he squeezed the pillow suddenly felt an urge to …Pheromones!?" he said rationalizing it "Leo you are in…"

"Don't even mention it!" Leo furious eyes appeared as she stood the blanket slipping from her head looking extremely disheveled and tired nevertheless to Don she looked...hot as hell! As disturbing as that sounded; He shook his head and turned his head from her and moved away a bit to the door as he tried to avoid breathing again and used all his might to push aside the non pure thoughts that crossed his mind as he threw the pillow back in the bed.

"Is this the first time?" He said averting his eyes to the wall feeling he needed to get out of there as soon as possible.

Leo covered herself again and sat placing herself out on Dons smell range. "No, it happened once in the jungle"

Don winced as his knowledge of chelonial biology flashed on his memory. She had gone through "that" alone in the jungle; without a clue as to why.

"Thought I was ill, nearly got myself killed that time" she said remembering that awful experience, "but at least this time I know the cause; so as long as I keep away from you, I will be fine" she said repressing the thoughts to parade in front of them pinching herself in the arm.

Don was perplexed by the revelation, just what had happened back then? He wondered but decided to press a more urgent matter "So you know what comes afterwards?" Don asked not sure how to talk about the unfertilized eggs to be laid.

"It freaked me out that time!" she said dryly trying to dismiss the memories of the blood dripping from her swords as she awoke panting in the middle of the guerrilla camp drenched from head to foot disoriented and feeling extremely queasy. She hugged herself and shivered, she really needed some time alone.

"You told me you had no suspicions" Don said not looking at her feeling framed.

Leo returned from her memory world and trying to get Don out as soon as possible she said "Don we are mutants and you know my knowledge about the chelonian facts of life was quite limited at the time, you don't have to bring it up every time to make me realize how stupid I was not to have noticed." she said with a tad of sarcasm.

"Ok, so I guess you should stay away from Raph" Don said clenching his fist and trying to remain focused.

"I don't want any of you near, you hear me! And I really need a cold shower" she said more to herself.

"I will tell Splinter you are ill" Don said stating the obvious.

Don looked at Leo's suspicious glare as their gazes briefly met.

"Don't look at me like that, we are sentient beings and we can make choices" he said and using all his self control he said "and you are not my type" feeling as a voice in his mind which sounded suspiciously like Raph claimed otherwise. 'Great you just blew your chances with the only female of your species, great going Einstein!'.

Leo gave him an unreadable gaze and laughed "Sorry, I forgot your type are long haired aliens" she said remembering a certain black mane Don used to have in his old lab.

"You sure, you don't want Splinter to know?" Don said heading for the exit.

"He would not understand" Leo said as a statement. "There is money in the drawer take them to get pizza or something I will talk to master Splinter and go meditate somewhere, to clear my anger issues" she chuckled at how close to the truth that statement was. "See you in a week"

He finally left her room still feeling intoxicated by Leo's scent and thought 'I need a really cold shower too' he thought as he wondered why did Leo had money to begin with.

* * *

The word pizza was enough to bring Mike and the reluctant Raph out and by the time they had returned Splinter told them about Leonardo going out to meditate for a few days.

Raph stood still watching both master Splinter and Donatello with suspicion; there was something about Leo going away that did not seem to fit his mood today and why did Donnie smelled that good was another mystery he did not even want to phantom.

* * *

**Authors' note**

Only one review for the last one, thanks anyway. Feedback will be appreciated, needed so I know how the fic is doing, what you thing about the chapters titles. Is the rating right, etc.

Consider Leos season as the mother of all PMS, been there, had them and I tell you as a female teenage years are pretty scary sometimes and for a turtle considering it will be once a year it would be borderline terrifying.

Despite Dons fiction reputation as a Casanova let's face it he is still coping with the whole Leo is a girl notion; not including the psychological issues at hand, so no he is not about to woo Leonardo off her feet regardless of what his instincts might tell him.


	10. Regaining sanity

"You know my friend I am still surprised you survived all that without losing your sanity" The time mistress said.

The old turtle gave the girl a condescending look thinking 'and you don't even know half of it.'

* * *

**Regaining sanity**

One week later a tired looking but more calm and focused Leonardo walked through the door of Donnie's lab, it was already late or early depending on the point of view and Raph was out with Casey and Mikey and Splinter had already gone to sleep.

"You really look bad sis" Don said without turning his back having seen her appear in one of the monitors a few minutes ago, grinning 'so much for stealth when technology is on your side "smile you are in camera." But halted suddenly shivering at their previous conversations he slapped himself literally 'had he blown it again?'

Leo wore a repentant face observing Don's reaction as she said "This really got out of hand; I guess I owe you an apology after all, but hormones are to be blamed, and could you quit the _"sis"_ before someone hears you?"

Don nodded regaining his grip "So?" he said not wanting to press her in order to prevent any more misunderstandings at which he had proven to be quite proficient apparently.

The blue clad turtle sighed "Is complicated... but lets see long ago and far away a ninja in training discovered hormones and they have made his life a living hell for while" she said in a Mikey trademarked style

"Her life you mean?" Don corrected also taken aback by the '_ninja in training_' right that makes me what a thug?' he wondered.

Leo gave him a distasteful glance and continued in a more menacing tone "Gimme a break if you don't stop referring to me as a she, you would slip sooner or later and I will have to carry my promise to disembowel you and to tell the truth... I am still queasy" she finished taking her right hand to her mouth she still wasn't feeling peachy, but her allotted time was up and could not come up with a convincing excuse for Splinter. Having been quite busy getting over the denial she had inadvertently been for the last year and a half, since it was not an issue of ignorance but of complete and utter denial; she had finally concluded through her meditation.

"You sure that time when I got so out of control was not hormone related" she said having found a new scapegoat. Yes hormones! forget Shredder and Bishop those were nothing compared to her new Arch nemesis puberty.

"Who knows, you improved a lot after you left didn't you? but somehow I doubt it" Don replied giving her a curious glare.

"Ok... I too had unsolved anger issues" she admitted reluctantly.

"Really?!" Don adopting his serious tone gladly surprised Leonardo had returned to her more calm and comprehensive self and he said "so…what do you think? How do you feel?" he said cautiously hoping Leo's Mrs. no Miss he meant Ms. Hyde was already in deep slumber and not about to snap at him.

Leo gave him a smile that seemed brighter that those of Mikey's but with Leo's apparently ageless hazel eyes.

"You have to stop thinking about it Don" her smile darken "Imagine it had been you" taking in account the shudder she observed from Don she softened her eyes "I have read enough to know I am not the "hope of species" and you know that as well. We are unique and since we mutated after our birth I would not want to give you all false hopes. I could not live with the knowledge of that failure and even if..." she would not talk about it it was dangerous and complicated enough as it was.

Don felt terribly awkward now, he really had not considered all the implications it would have on her. He smacked himself thinking 'and they call me genius.'

She continued "At one time I thought one day, I could join a temple to atone for my sins becoming a monk I mean nun" she wanted to laugh at Don's shocked face and continued "but being realistic and I am not encouraging anything" she pointed out giving Don a stern glare and continuing with some hesitation "I don't think polyandry will work and choosing one of you over the others will create an unnecessary rift between you that we don't need and..." as she certainly did not feel like becoming the "remote control or the last slice of pizza" sources of countless fight in the lair. Her voice wavered a bit as she continued looking at the monitors that would indicate if someone was snooping around "I am a freaking teen! I am unstable! was I human I would still be underage I would not be able to drink, vote or get married unless I was part of a cult or something! Don listen to me I am only 18! and don't you dare say I has not crossed you mind" she said almost accusingly to the blushing Don, who was not about to remind her than technically due to their time travels she would be 19 or 20 already and 18 was adulthood in most countries and some States but that would not be precisely tactful would it?

"There are other thing at hand" she said in a more serious tone "I trust you and master Splinter to be discreet, but Raph, Mikey, April, Casey" she shook her head. "Before long I will be targeted on fights... well more that I am already" She chuckled at her private joke even before she left she was like the "prove your worth take on the blue one" for Foot and Dragons like a sorority initiation a deadly one if they ask her even counting she held back a lot "Bishop will have a field trip day, a breeding machine for reptilian soldiers; let's not even talk about Stockman, that guy gives me the chills. Hun will be trilled to know his master and himself were beaten by a girl because I won't be Leonardo anymore but the "girl" and Karai will have a better reason to send his goons, after you trying to get to me and now the best part try battling against them as a disjointed team because that is exactly what will happen with Raph, Mikey and…we would not survive the week" Leo stopped. Sitting down heavily in on the extra chair Don had on his lab and taking a deep breath.

Don look at the distressed turtle on the chair should he comfort her? Talk to her? Man! This was as complicated as quantum physics and taking a deep breath said "Look ah Lea this is insane, you are over processing it and you know concealing what you are is not fair for you" Don said also kind of shocked by Leo's view of the world, she had thought it throughly but the reasons she had exposed were more concerned with their safety and well being not hers something that was beginning to concern him.

"Don!" she said sternly "Would you mind imagining my name is Leonora, Leona, Leonarda or simply Leo if you prefer because I am not changing it for it is my name" she remarked " I am not human, so it is not like it will give me troubles. I haven't changed that much I am still able to lead am I not?" she said with her eyes focused on Donnie almost pleading.

"Still, Leo... it is not...fair" Donnie complained as his inner voice said 'forget quantum physics this beats them'.

Leo smiled as she possessed the knowledge of the world "Fair?" Leo laughed "Don life is not fair" she was sort amused to find such a simplistic term coming from a mind like Donnie, thinking he is still such a kid "we both know it well. If it was you will be recognized as one of the most brilliant minds of this world and not taking calls from crazed clients, that is what is not fair," she sighed " but I will tell you this, after I am 21 and I have sort it out, maybe then we will talk about it in the open, not before. Do we have an agreement?" she said looking at Don with some apprehension extending her hand.

Don conceded defeat and took the hand Leo was offering "Deal! But you will talk to me" Don said "We both know how last time you bottled up everything ended"

"doctor you have deal, as long as you talk to me about why you took up the whole IT support thing" she said sealing their new agreement with a handshake.

* * *

**Author's notes**

Wonder if anyone reads this part?

The hostilities are over but the insanity will continue, as the clues have been laid through the story already, so don't worry this is going somewhere but the edition has been almost as fun as writing it.

Polyandry. One wife many husbands (No offense but a womans nightmare in this author point of view, the Chinese said hell was having more than one bride under a roof I haven't read about their opinion on this one) a waning marriage custom. I was surprised it was practiced in other places aside from Tibet considering men do tend to be quite possessive, women too but remember Othello. For turtles and most reptiles though Polygamy is more frequent. Don't worry, not happening in this story, but would be the only background she would find having read a lot of biology books lately and being raised in an Western environment to Leo it would be down right disturbed with the idea. For Japanese the closer they got was the groom taking the bride's surname.

Well thanks a lot for all your reviews specially to "1woof1, turtlegirl and SilencedLegends (Sorry about the misspelling)" who have reviewed almost all of them (though I am not that comfortable being threaten ;-) I totally agree with the idea of a Leo being more in touch with her animal since and Leo's puberty will be like developing her personal Ms. Hyde. I actually loved writing and editing the previous chapter and I am the author and yes we will see more of Raph in the chapters after the next one.

I agree that this needs better proof reading, the beta position is still vacant if anyone is interested and has the time, since the spell check works as long as the word is misspelled or a obvious grammar mistakes but if I was to write "cat" instead of "cut" it would not help much. So I am depending on reviews like the one I kindly received for chapter 3 from Lady-Kassy to correct them. I do correct them when I have the time in case some of you have not noticed.


	11. Dark secrets from a cup of tea

All TMNT characters are copyrighted by Mirage studios and were created by Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird. And this is a non-profit fanfic.

* * *

"And still you won't tell me which of them was you," the pouting Time Mistress said.

"You will find out soon enough child" the old turtle said, "as the fireworks begin"

* * *

**Dark secrets from a cup of tea**

Their relationship improved greatly the following week as things began to recover some resemblance of normalcy, training, IT work, night rounds, more training, despite Raph and Mike's continual harassment which was really not all that new Don had to admit.

But since Leo had reluctantly agreed to talk to Don every other night for 'psychological evaluation', as he liked to call it, his nights were interesting, to say the least, usually having the tables turned; for it felt as a Chess game, since the equivalence was not even, as Don's secrets were more ordinary that one could imagine:  
'_Yes I do eat; sometimes I sneak at night and empty the cookie jar. No, I don't drink too much coffee or energy drinks, No I am not planning to make an April clone, No I have not contacted __'Djhanna__ since she left and I am not working on a transmitter,_' he half-lied. '_Yes, I took the job for money because I wanted to get a new computer_', etc.

He had secrets like the dread he had felt when Leo's limp body crashed through the window but, somehow, discussing them with her would not help his case much. And the truth was that, as difficult as it was to recognize, he had not managed to dwell on Leonardo's secrets any more, still fearing Ms. Leo Hyde would eat him if he pressed an issue too much, except that she was somehow interested in poisons nowadays. _'Well it was a hobby after all, right?' _He thought, trying to ease his mind from Leo's disturbing new hobby '_couldn't she take up gardening, knitting or something more I don't know girly', _he thought sighing, but since she was such a proficient ninja that seem unlikely, unlike him apparently regarding his interrogatory skills, for she had some talent and 18 years of practice of turning the conversation her way, so he ended doing most of the talking. '_Psychology was not my call'_ he sadly concluded.

The truth was getting into Leo's head seem like an interesting project; she had refused to have a electroencephalogram, arguing she was not a science project, but Don still had hopes for he had convinced Raph after all, or rather bribed him with a bike upgrade. So he had resorted to psychological tests instead, he would casually drop in the conversation, hoping she would not read through them, and was a bit concerned when he analyzed the results, when two words came up defining her concept of self "shield and sword" in that order and to Don that was a matter of concern, considering his most terrifying nightmares content. Sure he would take a blow for his brothers, even for Raph, as odd as that sounded, but he did not make it the center of his life and he hoped to convince Leo to get a life of her own so she would not see them as children anymore, because for some reasons, he felt she was kind of babysitting them, and for some reasons, that no longer suited him well. But to do that he needed to know more and that was an interesting field of study for the genius turtle, as he almost choked with laughter remembering a phrase for Back to the Future that had stuck with him:  
"The time-traveling is just too dangerous. Better that I devote myself to study the other great mystery of the universe: women!"

'_O__h boy that was lame'_, he sighed.

He could recall a time long ago when Leo used to be there to help Mikey in his mischief, have a quick fight with Raph and even help him in his wild experiments, sometimes helping him out of the debris and helping him to clean afterward. To tell the truth she still was the only one he trusted enough not to improvise and rearrange his lab, use welding implements properly, drive the battle shell, the chopper.

_"She is very talented"_ he reflected thinking about it for the first time on something not related to ninjutsu. '_Maybe she could help me out a lot more in the lab, so I could train more'_, but that line of thought discouraged him.

But the truth before him was: since the leader thing came up, little by little she had taken a lot of weight concerning their safety and they had selfishly allowed her to fade into that fearless leader persona as Raph had so wittily pointed out in less educated terms. _'Guess she does have a mother hen attitude deep inside_' as he evoked an image of Leo as a child, a cute child that was with a frank careless loving smile and he felt chills as he saw the self conscious, contained, borderline obsessed turtle before him punctual for their appointment appearing on his door.

He had decided to make a gamble tonight, deciding to put something on her tea to ease her a bit, _'Not that way_' he smack himself wondering if his inner self would end getting a concussion this way. But what he heard that night left him regretting it afterwards. Leo's secrets were after all really too much to handle.

* * *

" So how do you put up with them?" he asked her, wondering about a particularly hard joke Mike and Raph had played on Leo that day.

"I meditate" she said having regained her usual temper after a long stay in the dojo and taking a sip from the tea, she had not been feeling that well today and was thirsty after her workup, but had decided to indulge Don hoping to convince him to get some sleep, the poor thing was still too nervous around her for his own good.

"What do you gain by that?" Don asked. He never actually achieved meditation unless something dire was happening, like being forced by the white haired witch from the temple. He usually preferred to spend the time focusing on his projects instead.

"Well, when I meditate I feel as part of the all and thing tend to come into perspective. Of course sometimes things occupy my mind and I am unable to reach that peaceful spot. Hormone turmoil is no good for me I guess. You should try it one time: you can feel everything that lives like small little lights surrounding you"

'_Too deep'_ Don thought. Considering all Leonardo had to put up with he wondered why she did not spend every waking moment in meditation. He knew he would and before he could ask the next question he heard:

"Why do you keep the IT job?" She asked finishing the tea, its warm temperature making her feel a bit relieved.

"As I said, it pays the bills." Don said defensively, this having been a recurrent topic.

She yawned. '_Here they go again'_  
"How much would you need to start your own tech company?" she asked out of the blue.

Don laughed, "Yes, right like a giant turtle can apply for a loan."

But considering the calculating look he was getting from Leo, he answered.

"A lot. What are you planning? A bank heist?" he said joking

"How much?" she insisted.

"Dunno… A lot of money… Over 10 or 100 grand I guess. But then the permits and all that stuff, I might as well forget it"

"It certainly did not stop C'hrell or Mortu" she said coming up with an idea. "And they were not as smart as you."

'_Yes they were.'_ He had to admit they were '_Utroms'_, literally all head. "But that would not be very ninja, would it?" Don said, having shivers every single time the Utrom Shredder was mentioned and surprised she would address the Shredder by his name. But then it certainly made it clearer.

"Forget ninjutsu, you are better than that and there is the stock market" she said reclining a bit on the chair trying to calculate how much she would get if she was to trade all her stash.

"I will talk to April, Honeycutt and Leatherhead if it makes you happy," Don said not really wanting to go on with what Leo had meant. _'Had she just called ninjutsu unimportant?_' No he must have been hallucinating he took the nearest cup feeling the need to clean his throat "We might come up with something."

"Good" she said finishing her second cup of tea.

He decided to press his luck a bit and to bring an issue that had intrigued him for a while, as payback for the long haired aliens insinuations Leo had made. "So how are things going for you and your furry knight in armor?" not really expecting her to answer. '_She will probably change to the poison topic, talking about which, had he not just drank a cup the tea?_' he thought with dread. '_And I call myself a ninja…'_

"I beg your pardon?" Leo said confused, feeling a bit light headed. She would have said something but the idea of Don examining her disturbed her and opted to focus on the conversation.

"You know, a certain furry Ronin from a different dimension," the still miserably feeling Don asked looking at the empty cup. _'Idiot._'

Leo chuckled "No, Don is not like that with Usagi. He is just an honorable warrior I respect; who has a major crush with a furry lady from his dimension."

Don shivered now he was talking and since he knew their ex sword wielding friend from the Tribunal had gotten married recently and had sent pictures and Leo had not even batted and eye over it, that meant Karai and that would just be terrible in Don's point of view.

"So Karai is still your lady of choice," A crestfallen Don said, the tea doing a lot of the talking, while his inner self thought '_Just their luck._'

Leo laughed, as though what Donnie had said was something absolutely outrageous, while keeping her eyes on the monitor. "No, No" she said lowering her voice "I know you have speculated a lot but no she is a kindred spirit. I guess that is why I was unable to kill her, she is too honor-bound for her own good." she said in an even more quiet voice. "Her father on the other hand…" Leo stopped putting her hand on her mouth _'I am sweating, odd…_' she thought.

Don looked surprise: this Leo's always full of surprises, encouraged by the tea almost bursting with laughter. "Don't tell me you had a crush with Shredder! Was it before or after we found out he was an icky overgrown brain?" Don said playfully thinking she was teasing him.

"Very funny, you know when you are 14 and have been forced to read about and admire all the legends of ancient warriors, he shines in a different light… almost..." she continued more reluctantly as if she was having a conversation with herself.

Don looked at her with some concern, his laughter vanishing. He truly had never seen Leo under this light and as though it seem terrifying for him, particularly if she ever realized she had been given something, he considered it will be highly cathartic for her to open a bit even if it was induced by the aftermath of her season and the medication on her tea that seemed to work like a truth serum for turtles. _'Check components later, using Mikey as test subject regarding the location of my stapler'_ an inner voice he called his personal secretary told him.

"I was not a crush of course, not like the one you all had for April back then" she pointed to Don almost defensively trying to rationalize it "I certainly did not kept his picture on a shrine or anything," she said condescendingly to a purple Donatello "Yes, Don we all knew, but although I knew from the beginning there was darkness, it was truly fascinating… What I am saying?" She shook her head blushing ashamed as though she was having a very complicated discussion with herself.

"No, Leo, go on. I am not here to judge you" Don intervened, thinking '_I am an idiot_.' "Don't worry, my lips are as silent as a grave, geek honor." he said putting a reassuring hand on her shoulder wondering why she suddenly seemed so fragile.

She smiled painfully, deciding that keeping this bottled really was not that great. She continued "It was madness, complete and utter madness. His presence was overwhelming. He had a way with words that…" She shivered. "Donnie you never spoke to him aside from battle, but it was as though he knew me inside out and when he promised me true freedom and, for lapses, I imagined myself carrying proudly the dragon paw, even after master Splinter said all those things, something, somewhere deep inside me, protested that maybe it was a mistake, that he could not be that bad." She sighed.

Don looked at her, worried "The way you speak of him doesn't sound like a crush, Leo, but a major infatuation. What happened then?" He asked, a bit alarmed considering they were talking about a creature that had made their destruction his life goal.

"Honor and loyalty got the better of me," she said with a bitter aftertaste, "and made me fight that because I knew it was absolutely wrong, but it did not help that he tried many times to lure me to his side," she said closing her eyes.

"Leo... when did... that happened?" Don could not remember and was beginning to feel as though he had opened Pandora's Box. _'Who said knowledge will set you free, if it scares the hell of out of you_.'

Leo looked at Don and put her head on her hands '_Migraine?_' she thought, feeling dizzy no wanting to worry Don. "Promises, gifts, death threats, you name it, delivered by the Foot soldiers whenever they could. The last time was when I was tagged and given the beating of my life, he offered me to be his right hand. I refused of course I was honor-bound to do so, 'if you are not with me you will not be against me' was the last I remember him saying before losing consciousness and then landing on Aprils window. Guess he gave up after that. I guess I am not that special and he became less and less admirable particularly after his reappearance as though he had lost something. Karai did say something like that, but still he put extra care in trying to eliminate me personally. But he is away, he can no longer hurt us" she said returning to her neutral eyes as though she had finally regained some of her grip and was beginning to awake.

Don felt as though something like a longing was embedded in Leo's words but quickly dismissed it: it was too disturbing to consider it.

"Oh, Leo I did not know, but as you said you were an impressionable 15-year-old and he was a centuries old… ah... brain. I guess it was probably hormonal" _Yeah lately everything was blamed on those._ Don said trying to comfort her. "Did you... talk to father about this?"

She shook her head violently, and answered as in trance "The ancient dance in which we are always engaged, only ends when our bloods are mixed and spread."

"Leo, Leo!" Don said confused trying to make her react snapping his fingers.

"Donnie?!" she said confused as she had just woken up looking suspiciously at her abandoned cup of tea in the floor. "I think I really need to sleep, I am still weary. Goodnight!" She said leaving a slightly disconcerted Don.

* * *

**Author's note**

First a heartfelt thanks to Lady-Kassy for taking the time to beta this chapter in record time and pointing out the importance of italics. You will see them more often from now on.

Ha ha I am evil I know, but take it easy with the flames. My arguments: Oroku Saki did appear to impress Leonardo, he was calling him master Saki after all in the Shredder Strikes back and was making an apparently tempting offer to Leonardo and he was the only who had issues getting rid of him considering it dishonorable. I mean, he was evil remark, only the Sith emperor was worse, but he certainly earned Karai's devotion somehow. But as the series progresses he becomes more and more deranged. And No this will not be the course of the story and it will be given a reason later consider it another background tale. Now let's go back to the lair mayhem

To silencedlegends: No being female is great. Actually never had doubted that but it get confusing at certain times. The expectation you grow with are different, you get the "I expect grandchildren'' look from your parents all the time and they are not at fault is sort of a biological duty.  
I don't think boys have it easier but the male brains take thinks by compartments so they can focus more easily and the female one thinks about everything all the time that is why when you argue with a girl she might remind you something you have not thought about in decades, that is why men tend to forgive each other more easily: they remember less. Want an example? Take the whole Spears affair, I am not condoning anything, but the eldest acted just as many male stars do, why the outrage then and in the US of all places, because she was a girl and a mother and that was outrageous.


	12. Misunderstanding

All TMNT characters are copyrighted by Mirage studios and were created by Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird. And this is a non-profit fanfic.

* * *

"Loyalty is easy to get as mortal minds are easy to coerce. Devotion is what you have to raise." The Utrom said.

"Wow that is ... disturbing, but well your wish is my command." the green creature said with a detached tone receiving the vial.

* * *

**Misunderstanding  
**

Leonardo had not returned for another talk in a while, bringing up numerous excuses:

'Mikey got hit on a night round', 'the Foot ambushed us', 'Hun tried to kill them', 'Raphael had vanished for two days', ' April's store was mugged the other day, etc.

_'I earned that,_' Don thought. '_You_ _just had to know._' He spat at himself.

For some obtuse reason the idea of Leo ending with Raphael had began irking Donatello to no end in the time he had spent with her. She had not told him so,_ obviously._ Actually Leo's thoughts were pretty foreign to that line of thoughts, but to him it seemed like the logical choice in his scientist mind. '_Strong and big are indicators of the best genes obviously,'_ he thought disheartened, noticing Leo was almost his height now and might get even taller, and particularly after spending some time with Raph as he improved his shellcycle as he had promised. It seemed just _outrageous._

His red clad brother understood two things: fighting and brawling. And maybe beer. Well those were 3. It was bad enough that April had taken a liking in Casey.

'_Why did girls fall for the brawling type? Cursed be the survival of the fittest'_

It just seemed unfair that a gentle spirit like Leo will pair with a rock headed brute. Don nailed his screwdriver on the working table. He was not jealous of course he was merely thinking of her best interests. '_Right keep telling yourself that, you might actually believe it one of this days._' his inner voice, about to be smacked, mocked.

"Everything's all right?" Leo asked, intruding in the lab and bringing Don a cup of coffee for their night chat.

"Yes" Don replied casually, regaining his grip, surprised at her visit.

They started a conversation on Don's lab generalities, the weather… Nothing serious for Leo felt uncomfortable today as she had been having nightmares lately and wanted to end this as soon as possible, hence the coffee. She would not allow him to put anything on her tea again. She had some suspicions but no proof yet. Actually the memories of the whole night were fuzzy, but she was not going to ask him.

She was so deep in thought that for a moment she spaced out. And Don realized she still had some foam from the cappuccino she was drinking, which certainly did not suit the whole ninja façade. '_Yes ninja and cappuccino was not a good blend after all.' A_nd he decided to lean over her with a handkerchief to remove it.

"There" he said to a blushing and startled Leo, when Raphael stormed in, thinking Don was about to kiss her.

"So our fearless leader has found himself a girlfriend. Guess losing to me did make you lose your mind." Raphael said, blowing his cover in his ill-fated attempt to spy them.

Don dropped the handkerchief and put a serious face. "Go spill your poison somewhere else, will you?" he said, feeling about to explode.

Leo rose from the chair with a cocky smile and said. "Even if that was the case, why would you care?" Her brown eyes blazing with fury at the obvious carelessness on her part not to have noticed Raphael's presence. Slips like that were definitively no allowed on her list. '_T__his time was Raphael next time it could be a kunai on the throat!'_

"Cus it will be just….wrong," Raph said, heading to hit Don considering him the source of his recent nightmares, only to be stopped by Leonardo's firm grip.

"Leo you know him and how he is." Don pleaded.

"Yes, but I have decided I am fed up with his attitude." She answered, turning to Raph. She had had some lousy night sleep nights lately and felt a bit upset. But she breathed deeply to clear her mind.

"Well what are you going to do about it?" Raph said as he felt increasingly angry at himself for thinking about checking out Leo too, which was obviously wrong for a "muy macho" turtle like Raph.

"Donnie, sorry about the mess…" Leo said, gripping Raph arm and tossing him out of Don's lab.

"Bring it on, Fearless!" The words rumbled from his throat in a defiant growl, "If it's a fight ya want, it's a fight ya gonna get. We both know how last time ended."

"That was then, this is now." Leo said without losing eye contact. Mentally remembering Raph fighting "style", she could never match his brute force, had already tried to no avail, but she did have some cards under her sleeve to change the situation to her advantage this time, as she was no longer wearing the pads she had used in the jungle and, grinning, she decided to teach his hot headed brother some respect.

Raph took out his sais and started circling around with Leo, who had not retrieved her swords.

"Get them out!" Raph urged in order to have a fair fight.

"Don't need them" Leo said never losing Raph's eyes and watching as he sweated. "Interesting." she said, thinking '_Maybe the temperature was high after all and she did not need to bother Don.'_

"What? Hanging 'round big brain there has already affected you?" he said lunging to attack, but only to hit the ground as Leo successfully evaded the hit.

"If that is true, I will personally tie you to Don, so some of him will rub in, and so maybe you will get some common sense." she said, trying to tap into Raph's temper and avoiding another lunge effortlessly.

Don was petrified on the entrance of his lab. _'Was that a compliment?'_ He wondered silently not liking the idea of being the damsel in distress a bit.

"Yes, like all that training did anything for ya, Mister Perfect," Raph snarled.

Leo just sighed; she had been doing that a lot lately and blasted the incoming migraine. She needed to end this quickly.

"But as I said…" In a quick movement, which Raph and Donnie couldn't see, she was behind Raph and had attacked three pressure points on Raph neck and head then continued. "… that was then." She jumped forward to leave Raphael plenty of space to crash on the ground. With her back to Raph she turned quickly as in a victory dance. "City Boy one, _Fantasma de la Selva _one (Jungle ghost)." She then kneeled beside Raph and relieving the pressure she offered her hand and said: "The score is tied again, and for your information nothing is happening."

Raph started getting up by himself, slapped her hand and snapped. "Tell him that and stop driving me crazy, will you?" And rushed as far as he could only to hear as he ran: "Donnie, do I need another shower?"

"You probably do Leo," and making sure Raph was already too far, he softly added: "You are driving him insane, I can't imagine what kind of kids you will have." He joked.

Leo looked at him with surprised eyes, only wanting to lie down in her room for a while to ease that blasted migraine.

"You know as the itinerant alpha male…" he said feeling a bit dejected.

Leo looked at Don in the eyes with an intrigued gaze, still kneeling, that fight had really tired her. "And who said anything about Raph being the alpha male?" she was concerned that Don was bringing the topic up.

"Don't tell me you think Mikey … with the whole Battle Nexus champion," he giggled, feeling more dejected.

Leo rose and with her hand tapped Don's forehead.

"You know, for being the itinerant genius you are quite naïve. Come on Don if I didn't know better I would think you are jealous." she said, preparing to leave as she didn't want discuss that with him.

Don laughed bitterly. "Says the one with a thing for Utroms"

Leo lost her smile and she leaned on the threshold briefly then she headed for her room, feeling disappointed at her brother's lack of tact, which confirmed her suspicions that she had talked a bit too much that other night, she darkly said: "You know, Donatello, you really have no idea."

* * *

**Author's notes**

Once again thanking Lady-Kassy for taking the time to beta this chapter.

The phrase Leo used I think I borrowed it from One Piece it was really cool.

I am still upset they make Leo lose that fight but I do think it will be a matter of who was really trying to hurt the other for Leo's strategy seemed to crumble after he discovered he was fighting his brother, he was doing pretty fine before that, so this is my revenge on that one. They punish Leonardo a lot on the series particularly on the Lost one they skip the battle against 4 goons from the Ammag world and he did not even get a soul weapon without any explanation, cut the Tribunal is testing you argument he was the only one showing enough skill to use them, and never received one for he had to return it on the final battle. By the way did the writers felt they were in Dragon ball so they could revive everyone? What were they playing?

About a girl wanting the attention, believe me no girl likes that much attention. That is a man's myth. I am sure I was talking about chapter 12 in the A.N. of chapter 10.

Raph and Mickey will continue appearing, but the story is mainly told from the point of the one with secret and the secret keeper and the background stories.

Sort of thought the previous chapter would get me flames or complaints, silence is more unnerving, Well thanks for reviewing anyway.


	13. Liability and Turmoil

* * *

All TMNT characters are copyrighted by Mirage studios and were created by Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird. And this is a non-profit fanfic. So on with the fic.

* * *

"Don't worry, everything will be fine. You just have to keep faith." The red headed boy told the blue clad leaving turtle after giving her a big hug.

"Faith?" the confused turtle asked as the portal closed.

* * *

**Liability  
**

After the migraine had finally passed, she tried to sleep a bit more, but a nightmare caught her off guard, and since dancing Foot and Shredder collection singing like Italian gondola drivers in what she figured was '_Shredder, the musical_' was more disturbing than it sounded, she distanced herself from the bed as if it had the plague. She was having a lot of nightmares lately. Something that was beginning to worry her as they usually heralded fights to come, not that she had ever mentioned it for: prophetic dreams were Mikey's department and master Splinter had never encouraged her to learn mystic stuff aside from mantras, so she decided to head to the dojo to practice. She had been there a lot lately, and often at ungodly hours, but at least she could enjoy some peace and silence.

Despite her 5-showers-a-day regime, which was beginning to dry her skin more by the way, and her new perfume odor inactivator, courtesy of Leatherhead who had a more sensitive sense of smell one could imagine and had understood Leonardo's plight immediately after her arrival in the sewers and had handed her the spray as soon as he had seen her. Her brothers had been behaving quite oddly lately around her and the last fights had left her wondering about her brothers' abilities and interests in fighting: they had been unfocused, though Donatello seemed to have finally understood she did not need his protection, for some reasons, Mike and Raph had begun getting in her way at the most inconvenient times, almost getting sliced in the process more than once, and the inevitable discussion with Raphael usually left her exhausted.

She wondered how; had her red clad brother taken last night beating. She usually did not show their difference in skill with such viciousness, but since the Winters fight, he had some issues. She had them too but had decided to let them pass… Quite different from the fight against the generals.

'_When would they understand this is not a game?_' she thought as she worked on the complicated kata she had been working on, it was still far from perfect so she would not display it in public until it was near perfection.

Lunge to the right! _'When will they understand Karai will not stop until her father is avenged?'_ she thought hating the idea of becoming the executioner if master Splinter ever ordered it. Despite how much she loved and respected her father, she had begun questioning his wisdom after the attack of the previous lair, not because of the attack but due to the disarray in which she had found them.

Frontal protect! _'She was not the general, she was only a lieutenant.'_ If she was, she would have the authority to let Don stop fighting... she could… stop the whole vigilante thing. She sighed and forced her mind back on Karai, '_That is safer'_, she thought breathing deeply.

Lunge to the left! '_Should have let her rot in the frozen hell her father is currently residing!_" _'Weak!'_ But then she had proven herself useful in that _Tengu _Shredder battle and hopefully she would finally correspond to the puppy eyed red haired lackey's unrequited affections and get some sense. _'That would be funny.' _But highly unlikely, she sighed, letting the image of Karai's spawns dressed in mini shredder outfits dissipate from her mind before she had a new nightmare topic.

Back flip!_ 'She is better off than me anyway.' _wondering when she had ever felt so alone. Not even in the jungle, for she admitted she missed the cool morning breeze, the anonymity of the leaves as she camouflaged in the trees effortlessly. There, she was part of the all. Here, she could feel the darkness engulfing her again.

Lunge to the right! _'Failure!'_ as she felt the prying eyes, the responsibility. She suddenly got a new angle on the view of the world her friend Usagi had and the reasons behind his reluctance to settle down in the Noriyuki state. As picturing 12 bouncy little bunnies by his side did remove his aloof air rather comically...

180° turn! ' _Would he even talk to me now?' S_ince he had issues with shinobi, Leo did not want to think of his opinion of _kunoichi_, _"Probably lower than dirt in his world."_

She looked at her home-forged new swords, since the Battle Nexus ones were lost in their last epic battle. She would probably need to keep reforging or replacing them like the ones broken by her brother. She had never wanted anything for herself before, but she wondered what would it had been to own a soul weapon, as she had only borrowed Faraji's for a while. What a magnificent sword that had been, but now it was gone as all the others. Maybe she would feel worse for letting the Tengu Shredder take it in the first place, she would have felt as betraying it.

Duck! '_Like I would have let him take it' _ To tell the truth she had never been so embarrassed in her whole life. She would have gladly taken the pain. _That is creepy.'_ she thought. That would at least prove her unworthiness but the accursed furnace just turned off, the flames disappearing as she approached them the second time and the glare she received from the tribunal made her feel… Swords up! _'…worthless.'_

That opened another line of thought she had been fighting to suppress for a while: if she had not been there, would Splinter have pitted her brothers against the Shredder or against any of their other enemies? She did not want to know the answer. After the Winters event she was fully convinced 'She_ was_' the trouble beacon since her brothers kind of had an easy life during her absence. Well if she had not meddle with Karai, they would not have been attacked in the first place and she would have been able to have had an honorable fight with the Shredder. That would resolve all those dark feelings that had no place in her.

365° swirl! _ 'Traitor!'_ Well Raph hadn't been so safe, but apparently he had done better than her and the whole "fantasma charade"… Another secret you keep. '_Murderer_…_Liar!'_ She had had the best mentor, after all, Splinter was quite adept at them, She returned to the relax position panting _'Just how many more secrets have you kept from us, father?'_

She unconsciously took her right hand to her forehead feeling a pinch just between her eyes followed by an intense headache that forced her to the ground as she repressed the cry of pain by biting her hand.

"_A makeshift warrior, that is what I am!"_ she thought as the pain eased and for the first time of her life, the swords seemed odd in her hands as she picked them up. "What if the Ancient wise man was right?" _Yours is not the way of the sword for I am._ She did not need to voice it aloud _'A liability?' _She forced her mind to go blank and entered meditation, inadvertently falling asleep exhausted.

Splinter had gotten up feeling a growing darkness roaming in the air; He followed the feeling to the dojo and to the peacefully asleep turtle on the mats.

"Just what is wrong with you my child?" he said softly, trying not to wake her and tenderly caressing her cheek. He then left the place after having covered her with a blanket.

* * *

"You finally figured it out." the old turtle said.  
"You certainly have changed." the Time Mistress said staring at the turtle's unreadable gaze.

* * *

**Turmoil**

The events of the previous night had been awkward, but the following breakfast was even worst.

Raph was still grumbling about his defeat and was furious to see Leo and Don still on civil terms as they both had unintentionally met for breakfast.´H_as it gotten hot in here?_' he thought, annoyed, as Leo entered the kitchen after "the morning practice", starving and not entirely happy to stay in a room with Don and Raph without getting another shower first, but, well, they did live together.

"Hey Don," Raph continued his sloppy verbal attack on Leonardo as the physical one had gone so well. "If you were going to turn on one of us, why on the puck face there and not on our resident Cinderella?" he said pointing at Mike. "At least he looks more like a girl than you."

Leonardo looked at Mike and then turned her eyes to Don with a questioning glare to which Don shrugged and responded in a low voice "I already checked, I too had my doubts.", sort of glad she had not taken last night events personally.

It was Mikey who was paying attention with his back turned as he prepared breakfast and deciding to turn the joke on them.

"Well, excusez moi," he said raising his voice to make it high-pitched, "but if I am the Cinderella, why would I choose geek stepsister or grouchy stepmother when I could have Prince charming?" he said and pulling Leo's head by the bandanna's tails, he planted a big kiss on Leo's unsuspecting and cereal-filled mouth, almost making her choke. To Raph and Donnie startled eyes.

If looks could kill, Mike would have perished under the glares he received from both his brothers. Leo, still startled, rapidly reacted pushing Mike and leaving mumbling something inaudible about needing an urgent shower and cursed pheromones.

Mike felt heavily on the floor and Raph felt compelled to pummel him down even further, but could not understand exactly why; so he resorted to hit the table to get their attention. For a minute all their gazes met as though an unspoken challenge had been issued.

Raph left, after making the rest of the breakfast fall in to the ground, to take his frustration out on the punching bag. Don went to help Mike.

"Dude it was only a joke." Mike defended himself not exactly sure of what had happened.

"I wish I could believe it," Don said in a low tone and then raising his voice, he added: "You do something else like that on Leo again and I won't guarantee your safety."

"Come on! Leo lets us get away with anything," Mike said with a big grin.

"Who said anything about Leo?" Don said in a dangerous tone leaving the kitchen in Leo's direction. The baffled Mike was left scratching his head and resigning to clean all the mess on his own.

* * *

**Author's note**

Once again I am extremely thankful for Lady-Kassy's assistance particularly for the first part. By the time she was finish editing it even I did not believe it was the same chapter and I think it came out pretty strong.

I laughed a lot when I got the idea for the second part of this chapter; Please let me know what you think.

I have been wondering why Splinter never seems to teach them anything about the mystic stuff, I mean Michelangelo obviously has talent and Leonardo would learn anything but he always leaves them in the dark. Also did anyone else notice just how many things he has kept from them through the series. (I am assuming writers plot hole safety card)

Leonardo had to actually meet the Shredder and almost accepted his job offer before Splinter said anything.

Thanks for reading and reviewing


	14. Disaster ahead

All TMNT characters are copyrighted by Mirage studios and were created by Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird. And this is a non-profit fanfic.

* * *

"You still strive for perfection child." The wise man said.

"Do I even have a choice?" the bitter turtle retorted.

* * *

**Disaster ahead **

Don heard the shower running on his way to Leo's room and knocked once.

"Leo, are you OK?" he said shyly, with the territorial demonstration still hanging heavily on his head. _'This has just gotten more complicated.'_ He thought, not exactly sure what he was going to tell her. He had had an awkward dream the previous night involving him chasing a giggling Leonardo in a flower field, with the song 'Love is in the Air' playing in the background, which was very disturbing as he hated that song. His chase had suddenly been interrupted by the appearance of his two other brothers challenging him on a duel for the elusive blue clad turtle favors, one dressed in the Nightwatcher attire but with a musketeer sword and ruffled sleeves and all and Mikey in his Turtle Titan outfit who had also summoned the aid of the Silver Sentry. They were all ready ready to battle when Leonardo had all of a sudden bid them goodbye and gracefully jumped in a carriage driven by the Shredder as wedding bells sounded in the background. He had awaken cold but sweating, cursing the energy drink and the Dumas book that had somehow found its way onto his desk.

_Knock, knock._

"Leo can we talk? You know Mike. He was just playing" '_Right, like she is going to buy that.'_ his inner voice said.

_Knock, knock._

A sudden chill swept through him, as he heard an object falling heavily and suddenly felt wetness under his feet. '_Water? Leo?'_ He knocked again without getting a response.

Fearing the worst, he kicked the door and found Leo's body collapsed under the shower, covering the drain.

Don felt as if the world was breaking down. He rushed to lift her, not caring to turn down the very cold shower that had started falling on him too.

He felt as though he was underwater until he heard his inner voice commanding him: _'Do something_!' making his common sense kick in. He found her pulse and decided to call for help as he obviously could not carry her on his own.

Raph was the first to rush in from the dojo followed by Mike, who feared they were under attack again.

They were petrified when they found the scene with Don crouched over Leo's pale form as the water showered them both. It looked just as a reprise of their worst nightmare.

Raph quickly snatched Leo from Don's arms and Mike turned the water off and handed Don a towel helping him to stand.

"Master Splinter!, Master Splinter!" Raph ran with Leo in his arms, a difficult task because the wet scutes made it almost impossible to hold her and he almost dropped her, making Mike help him in the task. He knew Don was the resident doctor but for some reason, he hadn't seemed able to help back in the shower and Raph had this primal urge to keep them separated for a while, as odd dreams concerning his brother had plagued his sleep lately.

After breathing deeply Don finally regained his grip and rushed after his brothers.

Splinter rose from his meditating state, he had felt something dark and powerful clinging in the air and had needed all his will power to disperse it. He saw Raphael and Michelangelo arriving, carrying someone. At first, he could not recognize who it was as the felling around this being was completely foreign to him.

"Who is this?" he questioned the desperate Raphael, thinking they had found someone injured as it seemed a common occurrence with them.

"Father, do you feel OK?" Raphael exclaimed, concerned. "This is Leo!"

The mirage dispersed quickly and the rat discovered with dread that it was a livid Leonardo who looked remarkably frail they were carrying. He saw with relief that he was still breathing, but noticed Raphael and Michelangelo's eyes full of confusion, maybe even hurt as they placed him on a futon in Splinter's room.

Splinter began to check him not sure what to do and was relieved when Donatello appeared. Splinter knew a lot about herbs but he was no real doctor. 'Don wasn't either but had enough knowledge on the matter to take over. And that feeling...'

"He seems to have fainted due to the shock induced by the cold water, but he also is burning with fever." Don said checking the thermometer reverting to his level headed self.

"No way fearless fainted! What did you do to him?" Raph said, pressing his right hand on Don's plastron, having to control an unexpected impulse to beat him.

"I found him like this" Don said not sure what to think, unconsciously blaming himself. _The tea_ _perhaps?_, but no, he was fine, so it did not make sense… _'Right?'_

"It was Mike then. I knew he was toxic" Raph said feeling a renewed urge to pummel Mikey that had not really dissipated completely. Mike was looking at the scene from a corner, confused. Splinter, sensing the disturbance in the air, urged Raph and Mike away to get the medical supplies and cold water and then looked at Don once they had departed.

"Is there something you want to tell me?"

"No father, it is just ..." Don stopped.

The rat sighed, not sure when had this begun. "You behave differently around him nowadays. You all seem more protective… Almost possessive…" Splinter said, not sure how to address their behavior, as it had baffled the rat for a while.

The crestfallen Don remained silent, feeling cornered. "I don't think so but... It is not my secret to tell. I will not betray Leo's trust." He said firmly. "But I need to talk to April: we need a real doctor." Don said cursing his limited medical expertise regarding infections.

The rat looked at his son, not pressing the issue further. "Very well, but I would like you to talk to him once he is better. He has become quite self-centered lately and we all know that it is not good." Splinter said, deciding to meditate on the matter as he put another pillow under Leonardo's head.

The conversation on the cell phone with April's veterinarian friend went like this:

"You know, I have a quite big turtle here, pale and feverish." April said, having arrived shortly after and quite concerned about the turmoil the turtles seemed to be at...

"What kind?" Her friend replied.

"Red slider," April answered.

"How big?" he asked.

"I think 155 lbs, right?" she looked at Don for approval. He nodded.

"You got yourself a Galapagos, Ape? You know it is illegal to have those, right? Even there."

"Well no, is not a Galapagos. They told me it was a red slider."

"Most have gotten the conversion wrong." He said, sighing "Those fit on your pal, Ape."

"It is not mine, I am watching it for a friend" April said.

"Come over there with it, Ape."

"I can't move him right now." she replied

The vet took a deep breath, considering the possible causes. "It's nesting season over there, so it could be a related infection, maybe some retained eggs."

"I told you it is a male!" April said indignantly.

"Ha, ha! I heard that before, you said it looks like a red slider right? What does his upper plastron look like?"

"Plastron?" April gave Don an eerie look. "Don, I think you should take this call," she told him, "I don't know what he is talking about."

Don bit his lips. "Ape, could you keep them occupied?" He said in a low voice, pointing at the rest.

"Yes." April replied, no sure why Don wanted to have this conversation alone.

She left the room and heard when Don said:

"Already."

"Once before… I don't know"

"Yes, Yes."

The vet finally indicated antibiotics, strongly recommended them to keep her in a clean environment. Don sighed looking at the fungus and filth on the roof of the lair. _'Not exactly hygienic.'_ He would need to have a long conversation with Leo once she awoke. How on Earth had she driven herself into brumation in the middle of the summer was another proof of how impressive Leonardo was.

* * *

**Author's note:**

Once again thanks to Lady-Kassy for betaing this chapter.

This chapter is not particularly funny but is needed for the story.

Nightmares are complicated but as usual, they don't make much sense.

Finally someone notice the headers! they are in no particular order or timeline, but once the story is completed they will give you insight of the background stories. Yes your guess is right regarding Cody.

Thanks for reading and reviewing


	15. Heart felt talks

All TMNT characters are copyrighted by Mirage studios and were created by Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird. And this is a non-profit fanfic.

* * *

"So which story do you want tonight: Cinderella? Snow White? Or Sleeping Beauty perhaps?" The brown eyed turtle proposed, going through the book index.

"No! the one with dinosaurs and turtle warriors!" the bouncy small girl turtle answered.

* * *

**Heart felt talks  
**

She had a restless dream with darkness engulfing every particle of light.

'_My fault?_' she thought as she held a small little light on her hands, feeling grief as another figure approached to extinguish it from her hands.

Don had kept guard over her, watching as the fever finally broke and was surprised when she started crying in her sleep. Not really weeping, but tears flowing freely from her closed eyes, causing him some concern.

"Leo! Leo..." He caressed her forehead, trying to ease whatever was upsetting her. "Everything is fine." But he was still feeling a pang of guilt for invading her privacy.

As if from a deep slumber, she finally awoke, her eyes still wet. She had difficulty opening her eyes and focused on the voice calling her. "Donnie?" She asked confused and still a bit groggy.

Don sighed of relief and overjoy. " Leo! You had me dead worried." he murmured, almost crying himself. "Why were you crying?" he asked, not really letting his mind synchronize with his mouth.

Leo gave him a surprised look almost indignant. "I... don't cry!" she claimed with her usual solemn tone, but she was confused: 'W_hy are my eyes wet then?'_

"Of course _y_ou don't." Don said, considering he had never seen her cry since… Ok he hadn't. Raph had told him he had and that made it an unreliable source. He cleared his throat. "So what happened then?"

Leo gave a glimpse at her surroundings, trying to sit down and smelling incense._ 'A futon?_ _Why am I in Splinter's alcove?_, she wondered and looked at Don with a scowl on her face, discovering she was not wearing her mask.

"You sort of collapsed in the shower a while back. You have been with fever and unconscious for 2 days." Don explained, clearing any misunderstanding.

"Um?" She answered absentmindedly. She could not remember anything about that part and that was beginning to worry her. "My bad, sorry." and began to raise, feeling extremely dizzy and falling in Dons arms. _'Weak.'_

"Do you feel OK?" Don asked, almost accusingly as he helped her back on the futon.

She recollected the previous events, almost blushing when she got to the scene in the kitchen, somehow they seemed surreal. "Been having headaches lately, haven't slept or eaten much, training, maybe nothing more." she answered.

A surprised and admonishing Don translated: "Migranes, while still trying to surpass Raph strength, not sleeping, training as if there was no tomorrow and obviously not eating much and certainly not taking the supplements I gave you, right?" Don asked, feeling she was hiding something else. "Did I miss something?"

"Nothing you need to worry about." she replied calmly, reflecting that she might have pushed herself a bit too much lately.

"You have been sick for who knows how long and you told me nothing… you could have... died!," Don said, upset, wanting to hide his dread in anger and then resorted to the irony of the situation. "You have been pushing yourself so much, your body decided it had enough and drove itself into brumation to force you to slow down and that cold shower sure helped the case!" Don added, a bit angry as he had found out she really did not trust him that much and was still quite surprised she had managed that feat, as the exhaustion, impotence and fear he had felt in the past 48 hours began to take their toll on him.

_'Ok, I deserved that._' she thought looking at the exhausted-and-obviously-worried looking Don. "Guess I am still not over it." she muttered. "Maybe another week?" she asked Don sheepishly, thinking she would really like to be in that nice spot she had found on Central Park, carelessly basking in the sun while she worked on that new weapon which was more fitting.

"No, alone you don't. You are still not over the infection." Don shook his head trying to regain his coolness. "About that incident, they have all been concerned. Father knows something is up and…" he took her hand, lowering his eyes, not knowing how to address the issue. "Leo, as you said, we aren't human. Our…" He glanced back to verify no one was there "…mating period is longer than yours." he said in a soft voice.

"Oh,... so I guess I better leave." she said, gently removing her hand from his, almost unconsciously ready to fend off any advance from Don.

"Yes, if you find a hell of an excuse to leave for 3 months every year." he mocked flatly at her stubborn attitude. But well this was Leo after all.

"3 months!" Leo almost screamed. That sort of complicated things. She closed her eyes and reclined again. "I knew it I should have stayed in the jungle and kidnap that statue." She whispered as she hit the futon.

_'Never said that.'_ Don thought and continued almost embarrassed. "Yes, you see, though you are no longer… you know… your scent is still sort of alluring…" he said, blushing.

"Even you?" she exclaimed, surprised.

"Well yeah," He did not know whether to feel flattered or flatten. He could hear his inner voice laughing at him. "But since I know what is going on I can rationalize it and… well… keep my head cool about it…" 'R_ight! You got it covered man.'_ His inner voice mocked. "But Mike and particularly Raph are going crazy about it because they unconsciously perceive it and I don't think..." Don said with some regret for he sort of wished the secret could be kept

"I am sorry." she apologized, lowering her head with repentance eyes the word '_liability!_' resounding in her head.

"You have nothing to be sorry about," he told her, using his hand to raise her chin. "It's nature, not your fault. You are no even mature yet... and I think April suspects something." He suddenly realized how close he was and released her and moved a bit backwards.

"Ok, I get your point..." She said, scratching her head, thinking of the best course of action "... we will discuss it... for... on... our next unbirthday party!... in a week?" She offered with a sigh, not that convinced. " But I won't get any weird looks from… you know… a big crocodile and ..." she said reluctantly, sighing, still a bit groggy in defeat, wondering if another headache was roaming in the air. She hoped Casey and Leatherhead would not join the madness.

"Only we are susceptible to your charms." he explained with a halfhearted smile.

"Bad luck for you," she retorted, giggling and feeling extremely drowsy, which reminded Don a lot of the Leo from his dream, something that made him cold sweat.

"Leo I need you to know that..." he started, but suddenly stop as she felt her skin over his.

"Shh…" she said, putting her hand on Don's mouth. "I don't want to hear any hormone ramblings. They give me headaches. Could just you hold my hand for a minute?" she asked as darkness engulfed her.

Don lowered his head and took her hand noticing the purple bruise on what looked like… a turtle bite? He was about to go in uproar when a mental image of Leo biting her hand whenever she was hurt or wanted to repress a cry of pain came to his mind. Considering the depth he wondered how often that had been lately.

"It's coming," she said, shivering as a leaf and drowning into sleep.

"Leo, what is coming?" Don asked, noticing how she shivered.

She briefly opened her eyes as in trance. "Day... en ss...arg… shr...ed…" she said alarmed, but already falling asleep.

Don felt a cold shiver. _'A nightmare?' _he thought. "Don't worry Leo, Ch'rell is far in exile, there is no way he could harm us again and I am here for you. _I_ will protect you." He reassured himself, watching her sleep.

* * *

Raphael entered the room to take over the exhausted Donatello on Splinter's orders and found him looking at Leonardo with an odd look in his eyes and still holding the eldest's hand. He almost lost it, feeling compelled to beat the hell out of Don, still not sure why.

"Go to sleep, you need it." he said, regaining his ground, sighing deeply and pushing him away. Don was reluctant to leave them alone, but Splinter urged him to and he was tired after keeping guard on her during the first 48 hours. Besides he could not come with a convincing excuse for he was too tired. He was barely able to articulate: "Don't push him, Ok?" as he left reluctantly, wondering how to move the sick turtle out of there as soon as possible.

Leo opened her eyes again from a dreamless sleep this time._ 'Much better'_ she yawned. "Donnie?" she called as she was feeling thirsty.

"Well, no you are stuck with me. Got a problem?" Raph asked her, clenching his fist. He had not been able to sleep much either and had been gutting the bag as if there was no tomorrow, his fists, showing the evidences, had already been banded by a concerned father.

Leo gave him a momentary disappointed glare, wondering why had Raph taken the watch. 'H_ow long have I been sleeping?' _ A fight with Raph was the last she needed now.

"Don needed to catch some sleep." he told her with a reassuring tone, trying his best to let go the glare he had received and trying his best not to provoke his brother into another fight.

"I am... fine." she said, noticing his hands and disheveled appearance. She proceeded to ease the obviously worriedred clad turtle "How are you?"

Raphael ignored her. "You need to eat something by the way, Doctor's orders. Master Splinter has allowed me to feed you by force if necessary." he said, getting the oatmeal bowl Michelangelo had prepared.

Leo chuckled, deciding to let him be. "That will not be necessary: I am starving." She said, taking the bowl clumsily, almost letting it fall. Raph caught the plate before it made a mess on the mats.

"You know I have been a jerk lately," He said, suddenly returning her the bowl.

"Really? I did not notice," she replied, containing a grin. This was the first time she had a sort of conversation with his brother in what appeared to be a long time, so she had to watch out not to tick him off.

"'Cus I had hoped that once you returned, we would return to the usual: you getting on my nerves, we fighting, we blowing some steam… As usual." But he shuddered, repressing the odd thought that had plagued his mind and repressing his instinct to hug his brother for he never hug any of them save for group hugs and less of all that arrogant Splinter junior. But he had been worried too: a vulnerable Leonardo was the best way to make him feel vulnerable and he hated that.

Leonardo gave him an odd glare and took a spoonful of the oatmeal, wondering if she was strong enough now to stand and get a shower to remove all that icky sweat she had on her skin. '_They would let me bathe on my own right?'_ suddenly feeling concerned.

"So when are you planning on returning bro?" Raph asked, almost absentminded.

Leonardo gave him a confused look that distracted her and she swallowed almost painfully. "Er… I am right... here?"

"You know what I am talking about." Raph snapped, starting to feel an urge to play with his sais. "Fearless is back, but when is Leonardo coming back? If he is planning to, I mean, hell! Sometimes I swear you are still with the Shred head." Raph said to a surprised Leonardo.

_'He wouldn't!'_ she thought in dread almost shocking with the oatmeal on her mouth. She coughed and finally emitted in a low tone "What?!"

"You know, ever since the incident with the Shredder spaceship, shell! even before you have not been..." Raph stopped. He truly had troubles putting his emotions in words. "Why did you return anyway?"

Leonardo sighed in relief, thinking amused not letting his last comment get to her for she instinctively close down most of Raphael's tirade. '_It would hurt too much otherwise.'_ The usual? She though as she repressed a laugh and closed her eyes: Beating the hell out of each other, getting at each others nerves, you screaming at me for following orders, yes it has been fun. "Raphael please." she said, putting her hand on her head still feeling a bit _'Weak!_' She so hated that.

"It's not really your fault, I have changed a bit too." He said in a rare moment of insight. "You really hand me my shell back then. You know, as you said, it's not my business whatever is happening between you and Don but I want you to know..." He stopped again. Talking was a difficult thing for him after all, unless it involved verbal sparring at which he was talented. And the image of Leonardo holding Donatello's hand and walking merrily to the sunset he had on a dream bothered him enough to make him consider seeking Don and beating the hell out of him.

"No Raph." she interrupted, feeling she needed to do something before Don got hurt. _'Bloody pheromones!'_ "It is not what you are probably thinking." _'Which I really don't want to know what it is...' _"It's just my fault I have changed and have not been handling as good as I thought. But I will set everything straight." she said, not meeting his eyes, abandoning the bowl on the side and finally snatching the juice she assumed she should have received first.

"Really?" Raph asked, approaching, wondering if they were talking about the same thing. And why the hell did Leo looked so _'... cute?'_ Sewer fumes were probably getting to him. He would help them move her to April's apartment first thing in the morning.

"Well, I would like that things return to the way they were…" _Not sure when that was_, she thought "… it won't be the case." she sadly concluded. "But at least you would understand what has been going on with me." she added, wondering if she had made any sense at all.

"So what had been going on with you, Fearless?" Raph asked, intrigued, noticing that Leo's eyes were kind of _'... , ugh! that definitely had not come out from him.' _but still he could not take his eyes from Leo's face, looking at her probably for the first time in his life. _This beep mating season without females is making me see things._

She winced at the nickname and noticed Raphael was way too close to her for her comfort and tried to push him back with her hands as she moved back to get some space. "Not now, I will talk to all of you once I am better. For the unbirthday party." She only wanted to do this once and definitely not now, and not alone.

"Don was even closer the other day and since when do you have troubles with proximity, Oh Fearless one?" Raph said reluctantly, standing up and letting her have some space.

"Yes, but he does not hog all the available breathing air like a black hole." She pointed out, getting flustered and starting to get another headache.

Raph snorted considering how she had taken her hand to her head. "Just... don't get into anything you don't really want OK?"

She gave him a confused look.

"Don is too smart for his own good, don't let him drag you." Raph said suddenly as images of Don's future dark clone plagued his mind with that bizarre and amoral face.

"What? You don't trust my judgment?" she said feeling a bit insulted and light headed. If he is questioning me now… '_Would you even listen to me once you know?'_

"No... It's just you are too ..." she could not hear the word "… for your own good" and raising his voice, said: "and you owe me a rematch bro. Now eat!" he said handing her the bowl again and leaving to fetch the rest of them.

She finished her meager meal and went back to sleep before they arrived. She had started to see the urgency of letting the secret out.

* * *

The next time she woke up it was Mikey by her side, which surprised her quite a bit.

"Dude you are awake!" he said with a big smile, being happy to see her awake. Both his brothers had been quite odd around him lately and maybe had been blaming him for everything, but he tried to hide it under his childish smile. He was happy when Splinter made the other two take a break and put him in charge of the eldest's care for while.

"Nice to see you too Mike," she said, feeling much better and ready to stand up.

"Dude I am sorry. I never heard of Cinderella's kiss putting the hero to sleep. It usually is the other way around." he said, a bit concerned.

"That was Sleeping Beauty." Leo corrected, almost blushing as he recalled the events "No, Mike it was not your fault, it was my own stubbornness that got me here."

"But still you are my hero you know?" Mike said. "Never forget that."

Leo looked at him with open eyes and smiled. "Thanks for being you Mikey." she said feeling at ease.

"Still, sorry. I promise I would never do something like that again unless..." Mike stopped and hugged her as though she was about to disappear, something that had plagued his dreams for the last two nights. Being Mikey, nobody had trusted him on Leo's care until she was out of risk.

"I love you bro, never ever scare me like that again!" he said, weeping.

"I… will try" she said, uncertain.

"Yes, I don't regret it, though you should have seen their faces." he said. "But please don't tell anything to Don and Raph or they will skin me alive."

"Ok…" she promised, wondering what was going on Mikey's mind and allowing him to help her raise, but going by herself to the bathroom to wash her face, pushing him out as soon as she entered.

* * *

As she returned, followed by a puppy eyed Mike, who refused to let her go back to her room, on Splinter's orders apparently. On the way, they met Splinter, who gave Mike a stern look about having allowed her to stand and apparently get a shower. He guided them back to his alcove.

"My son." he said, glad to notice she had a better appearance.

"Master, I am sorry for the inconveniences." she promptly said, trying to kneel but to be deterred by Splinter's hand as he pointed the futon.

"A warrior knows how to rest and chooses his battles." He admonished her. "However it has been brought to my attention that you are concealing something that brings a lot of unrest to you and your brothers." Splinter said once Mikey was out of sight, not sure how to address Leo anymore since his return from the Ancient One, for he no longer felt he was really fit to be his sensei. He still wondered if it was fair to have called her back. Maybe it was time for her to fly and was she human, he would not have objected, but he had to recur to his resolution of keeping them together with her as their protector. "You know you are an important part of this family right?" The details he had been able to get from Donatello about Leonardo's sickness hanging painfully over his head as he had looked at his eldest brother as his father facet asked.

"I know it's just…" she stopped, wondering what she was willing to say, grabbing the border of sheet.

"Would you let this old rat help you?" Splinter said in a concerned tone.

"About the... unrest I will come forward on next week, it's nothing to really worry about." Y_eah right I will probably be disowned' _she thought.

"But there is something else Don doesn't know about." Splinter said, seeing the way her hands clenched the sheet and the darkness he had felt lately. _'Why was Leonardo so secretive, when had this started?'_ he wondered.

She lowered her head and clenched her hands "I failed you master, I lost control back then and a lot of people got hurt by my hand." she said finally, for all her other thoughts were way too complicated to be described.

"That is why you where reluctant to return?" Splinter asked at last, acquiring some light on Leonardo's long absence but still feeling she was keeping something. However he couldn't in good conscience force a still pale and sick turtle.

She nodded keeping the tears in check. _'When did I become such a crybaby?'_ she thought _'Failure!'_

"My son, it is not a crime to defend yourself, or to hide your confusion. This is a harsh world and you have been forced to grow up prematurely for your brothers' sake, but you must realize you cannot always be in control, though you must strive for it." Splinter said, regaining his sensei stature for a minute.

"I know." she said "but I also feel this growing darkness and I…" she stopped. Her father did not need to know the deepness of her blunder.She sighed. _'Worthless!'_

"I feel it too." Splinter said, resuming his father attitude, not liking a bit the flicker in the deeps of Leonardo's eyes so he turned to see the nearest candle flaring for a moment. "But whatever it is, we will fight it as your family. Did the Ancient one say anything?" he asked cautiously. To be completely honest Leonardo was the only one who had managed to scare him, though he would not let him know... "Born fire, raised water, interesting…" the Ancient One's words have been when they had met again.

She shook her head, the words _Not the way of the sword!_ Still hanging heavily over her head.

"Nothing in particular. Just to train more," she replied with conviction, as her inner voice screamed _'Liar_!' and "could not find him" would have been her first choice

* * *

**Author's notes**

Thanks again to Lady-Kassy for her beta of this chapter. You're very welcome.

All the boys got to speak, they were a bit quiet. Leonardo got to speak before this started. Read Fanfiction: a turtle's reply if you have doubts.

About this being yaoi, I am playing the "Tempest" card here, I mean if the great and immortal Shakespeare could use it, a mere mortal like me can borrow the idea too.

Thanks for reading and reviewing.

Is it me or did the turtles seem to be clumsier and reckless and less battle forged as FF progresses and what's with the DBZ references? they showed a bloody Kamehameha in one of them!

Thanks a lot for your reviews and thanks to huge-ninjalara-54Viruses-fan for including me on her handle name I am honored.


	16. Awkward talks double chapter

All TMNT characters are copyrighted by Mirage studios and were created by Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird. And this is a non-profit fanfic.

* * *

"What do you hope to attain?" asked the Time Mistress.

"To look at the mirror and see myself again," the decided turtle said.

* * *

**Raph and Casey's midnight talks**

Having made sure Leonardo was safe in April's now impeccable basement, in which the three turtles had worked for a full day, the restless Raphael had been dragged by Casey for a night round around April's place on Splinter's recommendation. They were on a roof observing the city after having busted some skulls, but Raph was leaning in a corner with a meditative stance, uninterested.

"Man, you ain't in the mood tonight." Casey said, disappointed, throwing him a beer and opening one for himself.

"You know sometimes you sound pretty girly for the bastard y'are" Raph retorted defensively, he didn't like the phrase out of B movie he had just heard, which usually involved he shivered.

"Come on, whassup?" Casey asked, looking at his troubled friend. "ol' Leo is fine. Just need some rest and will be good as new, getting on you nerves."

Raph sighed. "It's just… I don't know… between him and brainiac… They are driving me crazy, 'tis just wrong."

"Leo and Don?" Casey exclaimed, he was surprised, especially considering the glare he had seen in Don previously. "As in getting up close and personal?"

"Don't wanna know," Raph replied before he punched the wall. "They have been hiding something and now this and Leo is so… Shell! I nearly drove a sai through his head and he just stared at me! I just don't want to know how far would he go for any of us."

"Well, is their life man." Casey said with relief. "Live and let be. But aren't you all like... brothers?" he added with a tint of disgust.

"Not really." Raph answered. "Leatherhead checked a few years ago, when Don turned all monster and apparently Don and Mike are, like, cousins. You should have seen the face he made… But Fearless and I are just normal freaks, he did not even wanted to know back then. Something about not putting one before the other. But Don knows." He gulped another drink.

"'least I won't have to worry about Ape and Don anymore," Casey said.

"Come on, you're like the man. April loves ya." Raph said, surprised at Casey being jealous of Don.

"Yes, but look at me, man. Ape is beautiful and so freaking smart and brainy turtle guy has like an TQ of a 1000"

"IQ, Case, IQ. And he is like a giant turtle too, like me. Come on, what girl in his right mind would give me a second look?"

"Yes, I know but I am scared man. She is the best that's ever happened to me and she could do much better." Casey explained, a bit dejected, drinking a bit more. "Much much better"

"You are freaking soul mates, don't worry, she ain't going anywhere." Raph said imagining _'their future great grandson, was it?'_

"Guess you are right, how 'bout you and.. Joy was her name, right?" As Raph's glare told him not to go there, he clumsily changed the topic. "But I gotta say Don has some taste. I mean, Leo, for a turtle, he is pretty... cute"

"You do know? Mike is the one with the orange bandanna right?" Raph said, thinking that Leo and cute just could not go on the same sentence and he was starting to find this conversation rather odd. "That bastard has even more scars than I do. And I try."

"No, I know Leo." Casey said, not liking when Raph questioned his intelligence. "I have hung with him a few times and he does remind me of April sometimes."

"You are kidding." Raph said and… was that jealousy? he wondered _'No way'._

"Don't get jealous man, but he has this intense glare that gets to the bottom of your soul and moves with the grace I have never imagine it was possible. I mean, when he fights, he just glides and if I was into giant turtles, which I am not," he remarked, "I would go for him too."

"You realize you are talking about Splinter junior, right?" Raph said, thinking the beer was tampered. "Where did you get this thing?" he asked, referring to the beer. "Better I tell him and he'll show just how cute his fists are."

"Right." Casey suddenly decided to let go Leo for it seemed a touchy subject for Raph tonight and Leo was a male right? and he should not even consider actually how much he had drunk already. "Maybe Don is the odd one," he said finally.

"Yes, he is odd." Raph reflected.

"How yo' tell a male from a female turtle anyway?" Casey pondered, drinking the last of his second can.

"You just know," Raph replied defensively, gulping his second bottle. He had never even considered it.

"You know, man, maybe you are the female one, that is why we hang a lot." Casey joked. "Admit it! You have a crush on me. Besides you have quite the temper."

"You know!" Raph started, making a sign with two of his fingers of about an inch, "You are this close of me busting your skull!" Casey repressed a shudder.

"How about we call it a night and head for that joint?" Raph offered, deciding for a manly shady outlet remark.

"Sorry man, I am taken," Casey declined, "And April would kill me if she found out."

"Well she will find out about your magazine collection if we don't stop this conversation this instant." Raph threatened. "Let's bust more skulls, I am back in the mood" Raph said, clenching his fists.

"I am with you man," Casey agreed, as he swore to himself to forget this conversation ever took place.

* * *

"Why you did not told them you were here?" The red headed boy asked.

The red clad outlaw smiled with mischief. "Time paradoxes, just not my cup of tea." he said, as the hologram faded into a greenish tint.

* * *

**The devil is in the details  
**

Don had also kept his distance from Leo these last days. First because it would be awkward, and Leo needed some space; second because Raph would make it even more awkward, as he had insisted to be with them every single minute if Don was around. Mikey was not completely off the hook, as apparently innocent as he looked, but Raph and him had made an unspoken agreement not to let Mikey near Leo under any circumstance. And to tell the truth, he was already missing their chats. So being the brilliant mind he was, he focused his attention on April, so he could know what was going on with Leo, in a very odd way, as he helped April with the party's details.

Don had finally asked April for books she could give to a troubled teenage girl he had met and April had bought some in a sale a few days back. When April had offered to talk to this "friend of his" and he refused violently, considering to keep his entrails inside if possible, as he still had doubts Leo would carry her promise, April had given him an eerie look.

"Don, I have been thinking" she started, unsure, considering the way Don had been behaving lately and an off comment Casey had made. "Umm...are these for... you?"

"For me?" he exclaimed, surprised. He had not seen that coming. His inner voice was having a laughing fit by now.

April continued disregarding Don's shocked face. "Yeah. I mean… I have been thinking these last few days about what my friend had said and I have always assumed, but having read a bit lately..." She said not sure how to break it. "I mean… we get along so well and you are so kind and caring, almost like the little sister I always wanted. Only smarter."

The jaw dropped, Don managed to answer. "No... April they are... not for... me they are for a... friend" he felt a big blow on his ego as his inner voice mocked _'Sister'._

"Raph then?" April asked, wondering if she should be concerned about him spending way too much time with Casey.

"Raph?!" Don said, now downright confused.

"I mean, he is larger and very aggressive. But female turtles are depicted like that, are they not?" April explained.

Don wanted to fall in a laughing fit: he could just picture Raph face, and the idea of Raph in a tutu was really too much. _'Hey Raph Ape thinks you are a girl,'_ though thinking it was better to keep this to himself, unless he had a death wish.

He replied, containing the laugh. "No... I assure you Raph is NOT a female. And, please, do not even suggest it to him!" he said, trying to sound dead serious.

"Sorry, Don.. I don't know what I was thinking." but stopped and then resumed: "Mikey then?"

Don was starting to get worried about Aprils' idea of who could be a girl among them, particularly for he was heading the list and, coming from his first love, that was just depressing and his inner voice was too busy with its laughing fit to make any remarks.

"You aren't asking about Leo?" he retorted miserably, for a second not remembering he should wait until the unbirthday party or Ms. Hyde might haunt him in his sleep.

April gave him a heartfelt laugh. "Prince charming? No way!" April said not even considering it. "That is what I get for being nosy... Leatherhead perhaps?" she said in a last attempt. As Don did not answer, she continued sighing. "Now, you tell your "friend", that female teenager," thinking '_he could be talking about Angel though or someone else I don't know, for being undercovered they do have a lot of acquaintances._' "that the teenage years are great but they also just suck as all the responsibilities start hanging over you head: dates, marriage, motherhood and all those things and it gets pretty confusing. But it is worth it, for being a girl is great and somewhere after thing begins to fall in place and you start envisioning your life, making decision and letting go some childhood dreams the confusion eases a bit. It never really dissipates, but it's hard. Don tell your friend to take it easy, one step at the time, not to run until she is ready."

Don look at April befuddled. "You know, April? I think I will introduce her to you after the party and you can tell her personally." he said, still stuck, not sure what was worse: that April thought Leo was the less likely to be a girl or that he was heading the list.

* * *

**Author's notes:**

Thanks a lot to Lady-Kassy for her beta of this chapter

Thanks a lot for all your reviews, don't be shy with them they really encourage me to continue.

Someone hit right on the spot: instinct is driving Raphael crazy.

With Casey I am pulling the lady's man effect here, and remember drunken driving is dangerous but drunken talking might also get you skull busted.

About that turtle girl, we will address her again later.


	17. Girl's time out

All TMNT characters are copyrighted by Mirage studios and were created by Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird. And this is a non-profit fanfic.

* * *

"If you wish for a peaceful life, leave that one behind!" The Ancient One advised the startled rat, pointing at the blue one.

* * *

**Girls' time out **

Leonardo had a lot of free time lately since Splinter had basically banned any sort of practice until she was completely healed, and since she still was receiving shots religiously every day, that would have to wait. Her brothers had also given her some space, something that her skin was beginning to appreciate and talking with April had been quite enlightening, though for the heart of the sky, why did she hang with Casey was something she will never understand. Protection probably. But since, in her case, it had been just the other way around, it made no much sense.

There were lots of books available around her, mostly about the teenage years and since Don had somehow hijacked her copies of 'The Art of War' and anything regarding fights, history or ninjutsu and even her swords, _'that little... agh!'_ she was sort of bored. She had learned some basic cooking from April, trying to be useful, something that had surprised April quite a bit.

_'I know what they say, but I swear I won't blow the kitchen. I am not that helpless and I can tell salt from sugar.'_ had been her arguments and, in the dead of night, she would perform some Tai chi movements before April awoke, trying to regain her normal strength, and they were the only movements that would not trigger Don's movement alarm. _'And they call me paranoid…'_

Girl things were really an unchartered territory for the turtle: she had never understood her Master's obsession with soaps for they appeared to have an endless an absurd plot in her point of view, and she could not care less who did Amie, Suzie or Nancy end with. Though how close it seemed to her life now was something she did not want to go into.

Along with the books, she found on the old magazines April kept and, as she organized them, out of boredom, she read some. They all seemed to be about looks, how to attract their male counterparts, in a too graphical way for the alarmed turtle's taste. '_Shell, I would rather battle Karai again than read those.'_, speaking of which, _'Did she puts lipstick just before battle or was it one of those all-day the magazines announced?_' She was pretty disconcerted about the number of ads those magazines had for the few times she had found something to read: she would have to swim through pages and pages of advertisements and changes in the titles.

She sighed, discarding the last one and giving up on finding the article on warrior women through history. She had tried to focus on finding a new role model lately, as Musashi, the legendary swordsman, had always been the warrior she had tried to emulate; but lately she had to acknowledge: he would probably had been misogynous and he had been a monk! She was still attracted to that lifestyle, as the thought of having anything to do with her brothers gave her shivers and she just did not want to think about it now. At least not for the moment. She would actually abide by any decision her Master made about that, so she was really not that eager to think about it.

She returned for the role model quest. _'That is less disturbing.' _She always came up shorthanded for she was looking for a real character and not a scantly clad amazon from the imagination of a contemporary author who had probably not finished puberty. There was Mulan, she could relate to her but the poem stopped at the most critical part: of how her comrades dealt with the little secret she kept and it had been her decision to help her father, not something she had stumbled upon clumsily. There was also Tomoe Gozen, the only female samurai recorded, but then she could not relate to her charming looks, if she even existed of course, and she could have ended as a nun, it was not that clear, giving up the sword too so maybe that really was her calling, she had to reflect. She would have to tell Master Splinter about that eventually, but being left behind in battle was something she did not think she could do. On the Western part there was Joan of Arc, but somehow, ending in a pyre, and her dubious genetic gender, as some geneticist claimed, did not suit her well.

She sighed angry at the too vague descriptions she found for anyone else. She assumed there must have been proficient kunoichi she could emulate but they had not made it to the pages of history, and the kunoichi's way of battle, as it involved more deception than anything, did not suit her well. Well no shinobi name had made it either and made a lot of sense due to the whole undercover and secret activities. '_I don't think the Foot, or the Shredder, would be particularly charmed by my looks,'_ she reflected, sighing, alarmed. _'I would rather not think about that.'_ she told herself after having finished her reading on the web page.

The whole emotion thing was foreign to her and she had always been instructed to reign supreme over them as far as she could remember. To battle her fears. But for human females, it was confusing it seemed, as the constant struggle for the happy medium that was either too much or not enough to drive anyone crazy: be gentle but be determined. You are allowed to cry, but no that much. Be open with your feelings, but don't show them too much. Career or family, Look pretty, but not breathtaking. Well, she should not be concerned with that one. Raphael had made it pretty clear the other day, and at the end, all the turmoil was induced by instinct. If there was another female around, they would probably let her be anyway. Also, since the makeup she had managed to borrow from April, without April knowing, caused her an allergic reaction that had gained her a lecture from Don about them not being human, And they did not make anything in olive green anyway, so it was not even an issue.

The whole feminine ideal made her wonder what the feminist movement had been trying to achieve, not very successfully, in the western society for the last 100 years, as millennial of conditioning in the human customs work against it: submissive, obedient, selfless, compassionate and dutiful. Sounded disturbingly like the expected behavior a student is to have to her master, or Lord. Guilt ridden was a trait she had always known was part of her personality, but in a twisted sense it was expected of samurai. Dependent? A bit, she had to admit. Not as much as her brothers believed though. '_Splinter Jr.'_ If Raph only knew about all the closed door discussion she had with her sensei and how many of them were ended by using the filial duty card more than reason.

As she had aged, she now questioned many of her father's decisions, the vendetta against the Shredder always heading her list and being probably the less discussed of them. It was not really theirs to begin with, no matter how evil he was. Playing vigilante but reprimanding Raph was the second. What the human did or didn't to each other was really none of their business.

She forced that line of thought to stop. About enduring injustices, she was probably the first to stand up and it had messed her training terribly but also had endangered them all when she assumed the guilt of the city falling into chaos after they temporarily removed the Shredder. And in the jungle, how she had blown her cover and massacred that camp.

She wanted to throw up every time those memories resurfaced and felt her hands tainted no matter how many times she washed them. They had kidnapped some girls from the near village and taken them to a sort of paramilitary camp. Their intentions towards their prisoners were sort of obvious. She had only tried to free them without being seen but it had turned into a nightmare: they were too weak and scared to do anything, too helpless and had blown her cover (endangering her family in the way) in their despair. Soon she had been surrounded and had to avoid shots and try to find somewhere to retreat and rethink her strategy. When the despair weeps of the girls hit her, the innocence in their eyes reminding her of that of her younger brother, these were someone's sisters and daughters, even mothers. They had no right. She had felt it before but not with this intensity it… it engulfed her completely. The "rage." How long it had been? She still could not remember. There was just too much, too many. And her, standing in the middle of the apocalyptic sight. She could not even remember if she had saved the prisoners or if they had been slaughtered by her swords. She had even sliced in half a passing bird as a queasy feeling got to her. She had somehow dragged herself back to her hideout and had curled in there for days, not understanding what had happened, feeling scared and disgusted of herself. She now assumed the prisoners had made it out somehow and that is how she had gotten her _fantasma_ nickname, although the real translation was Blood Hungry Ghost. Fortunately, April had not stayed long enough to learn about it. She apparently fitted the description of one of the legendary ancient guardians of the region, a _quemes,_ a sort of messenger of the gods who protected the lands. She could only laugh at the comparison. The camp changed its location but the vindictive survivors took it on the near towns. That was when she decided on keeping her permanent retiring. To tell the truth she did not feel any better than the Shredder for this and the worst part is that no matter how much she thought, she doubted, even knowing beforehand anything would have changed.

_Maybe he just saw how alike we were,_ she thought with disgust. She meditated for a while until she quieted all those events again.

Another thing on her mind was: how to even break the news, as she assumed Master Splinter, Raph and maybe April and therefore Casey suspected something. Mikey seemed oblivious of the whole affair. _'Was that really a joke?'_ she thought, not fully being able to put the incident behind as her training had always been on reading the enemies' intentions, beneath the beneath and that made her a bit paranoid. Fortunately the nightmares and the headaches had eased a lot, thanks to Master Splinter's mantras, but she felt restless due to the lack of physical activity she was now subjected too.

She considered running away. '_That's mature,'_ she self-admonished; _'but they were to find eventually…'_ so she started trying to make a sort of coherent speech, she would have to say only once, '_If possible.',_ clearing everyone's doubts and then head on with her life preparing for teasing or rather the lack of it for she could not imagine their reaction already, wondering when she would be replaced in the leader position and by who. How would she face his father's disappointment, and how to keep a low profile so she could face the worst scenarios possible? She tried again to ease her mind going through one of April's magazines but as she read the content she just exclaimed: "I really don't get humans." She tossed it away.

She had gotten a whole new insight on April too. She felt indebted to April and Casey more than she wished.

She did not like the idea of dragging April into danger. It was true that April had a life debt to them at the beginning when they save her, but she had long ago overpaid her due and nowadays, they were the ones in debt. She had lost her house and risked her life way too many times. It was a wonder she had not ended in a cross fire with the Foot, and she was still thankful Karai was too honor-bound not to take it on her too. Yes Karai and the Shredder had known about April but had not used her as bait. And fortunately Bishop did not know about her or she would be in jail by now. But then Bishop did not consider them as anything but animals, an advantage to them actually, only the future one gave them a bit of respect.

_What was so great about being human anyway? _She wondered. She would always make a soft grin whenever Mike yelled: "I love being a turtle!" for she knew all of her brothers would not think it twice if they had a choice. She really loved being a turtle and to tell the truth, she would no have been against remaining in a pond living carelessly for 10 or so years, or one, depending on the caretaker. She would probably be a mother by now, as odd as that sounded, not likely though since captivity turtles were usually not breed.

She reassured herself as she had failed to protect her master's dear bonsais, she had trouble controlling her brothers, motherhood really scared her... And considering her success in trying to keep Cody out of danger in her ill fated attempt to pay back some of their debt to the O'Neill-Jones, she could only sigh as the memories of the brave robotic babysitter who came to save the day while they just stared at the monitor.

She admired April sincerely and could not understand her choice on men. Meaning Casey. _But well who am I to admonish anyone on relationships?_ She blushed. Don knew about her... She slapped herself. For that alone, she would crawl into oblivion. Fortunately Don had more tact these last days and had not brought it up again, _He is probably as shocked about that as I am. _He probably blocked it as a traumatic thing, she half hoped, still not sure of how much had she told him.

April's training had been one of the bitterest discussions she had had with her master: April had asked her to train her, actually not wanting to disturb the venerable sensei but Leo did not answer immediately and actually tried to discourage her.

"Give me a reason." she had asked. "Come on you, owe me." she had pleaded, almost devilishly.

Leonardo had sighed, admitting their debt but had reminded her of needing her Master's blessing first, hoping she could avoid it, using diplomacy.

When she exposed her reasons, Splinter had immediately said: 'No she is to be protected not drag into the battlefield!' Leonardo despite herself started arguing on April's behalf: she owed her that much and April was capable and smart. After a very long argument of how April could become more of a liability if she remained untrained, particularly as she now dated a known vigilante, and that alone put her on risk, Splinter had finally agreed to train her, but forbade Leonardo to do it, taking the responsibility himself. It had been April's determination on using a sword that had finally beaten her sensei's reluctance to teach her. And she could stand her ground these days. Obviously not as a ninja, but as a decent fighter, she could take down several Foot thugs and defend herself proficiently.

She was also a bit jealous of her, she had to admit. At least she knew who she was and Leonardo was close to having an identity crisis. She had to thanks her training with the Ancient One for that, otherwise she would be insane by now. She had faced her darkness before and if not for the whole Tribunal thing and the future trip, which had managed to shake her pride in more than one way, realizing how untrained she still was. The future disturbed her too; it had not taken much for her to see evidence of a major conflict that would probably take place soon enough. The idea of Cody being the only descendant of April also worried her a bit. _'Only one? But Casey probably wants his own hockey team_', considering money had not been an issue lately as April was doing quite well with her new business, _'Family or career maybe?' _She hated to know, but knew it was unavoidable.

April found Leonardo cleaning the rest of the boxes, organizing things and gave her a smile.

"I brought you tea."

"Thanks," she said, as she observed her red haired friend.

"You know, you have helped me quite a bit," April said, "and you are supposed to be resting."

"I don't mind," Leo answered. "I still don't get why you help us so much. I am endangering you by staying here."

April smirked "I owe you, and if master Splinter would not refuse, I would invite you to live here, this place has never look so clean, and you sure help me with the inventory."

"No, you don't owe us. If anything, we owe you. I mean, we are always getting you in troubles..." Leo said.

"...and saving the world in the process... Leo, believe me, _you _owe me nothing," she replied. "You are family."

"What is it like?" Leo asked suddenly. She would have like to talk with April but she couldn't. Not now at least.

"What?" April said, serving the tea.

"Being a girl?" Leo asked rather reluctantly.

The question took April by surprise, but Leo always tended to be the most innocent regarding people, which was not a surprise considering she was the first female they had met. And April could see that deep inside the leader facade, he was still much of a kid, despite all the training he had undergone. Leo knew a lot of strategy, and had a lot of battle experience but somehow it had always stricken her how he seemed different from the rest, more willing to believe in the goodness of people and one to measure herself very harshly.

"Is this about Donnie?" she asked.

_Donnie? _Leo thought, amused. "What did he say?" she asked as she lifted the magazine-filled crate.

"Well, the other day he was asking for books he could give a troubled teen he met, I sort of ask him if they were for him..." she admitted, embarrassed.

Leonardo could not hold her laugher, "No... they are not for Donnie, they are for a friend of his... a very confused girl he knows." she replied, feeling a bit dizzy, as she had tried to move the crate and realized she had raised too fast.

"Easy there." April said. "Even great ninjas need to rest."

Leo acknowledged and sat down to drink the tea.

"Not so great really," she muttered almost absentmindedly.

April gave her a glare and put herself right in front of her raising her chin. "Now what was that about?"

Leo shrugged, "Nothing"

"Last time nothing happened to you, you were sent away and I was left in the dark until your return, crossing my finger the rest were alive. The following time you were gone for 2 years Leo, so don't try my intelligence"

"I have been having some issues I will be talking about at the unbirthday party, and they are a bit... but I can't tell you now. I promised that much."

April gave her a big hug, "Leo, we are here for you. No matter what! Do you understand that?"

"Thank you April; I really needed that. Can we now go on with the list you have to turn tomorrow?"

"You know, I would marry you if you weren't a giant turtle. But I am going to hire you one of these days to be my personal administrator. You sure can order things around. Not like one boyfriend of mine."

Leo gave her an almost scared gaze.

"I am joking Leo. It's a manner of speech. I do know you were the only one not to have a crush on me back then and I am still grateful you have not voiced your concern about Casey and I, for you are like the big brother I always wanted."

"And you are like the big sister," Leo said. "Now on with the list."

* * *

**Author's note**

Thanks again to Lady-Kassy for her beta of the chapter.

Thanks a lot for your reviews, they did inspire me to take the time to work a part of the story I was having troubles with. Also thanks to ninjalara54VirusesMondhexefan, yes only Leo is female in this story.

I am a big girl now but I swear I still don't get magazines. Not only they are loaded with publicity, but they also change the titles inside so it is difficult and that idea of the article continues in page X just has never made sense.

All the characters I referred are pseudo-historical you can wiki them: there is a poem about Hua Mulan, it stops right when her comrades go to her home and find her in women clothes. And Tomoe is the only recorded female samurai. So yes, on factual female warriors there aren't many references. There were pirates and some Western shooters but I doubt Leo would look at them as role models.

Joan of Arc. I have some background on genetics and in one of the classes; a teacher brought her up as a genetic case.

I wonder where the rumor about Leonardo's inability to cook started. I mean they have shown Mikey making a cake explode, yet we have seen even Raph cook. I think Leo being the responsible one must have learn some basic cooking.


	18. Clouds on the horizon

All TMNT characters are copyrighted by Mirage studios and were created by Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird. And this is a non-profit fanfic.

* * *

"Instinct, that is all," the brown eyed turtle said, looking at the distance. "Aside from that, just another sword."

"Damn it, why is so hard for you to understand...? To me, you have always been home." the other replied.

* * *

**Clouds on the horizon **

The "unbirthday party" had been a tradition established by April when she found out they did not celebrate them at all. Mike loved them and had already chosen a day he sort of celebrated himself, but for the rest, having no idea of their birthdays, as it must have been sometime in the summer and since Splinter just counted their age with the New Year as the Japanese custom indicated, they sort of celebrated it on the New Year, but the cold temperatures always discouraged the turtles to do almost anything.

Then April had, once she had been sort of formally adopted in the clan after The Foot attacked and nearly killed Leonardo and, as they spend time in the farm, she had established an unofficial date on the summer which could be moved depending if they were able to celebrate at all and it usually had to be moved a lot as summer was always their busiest time of the year for most of the threats seemed to move for the summer.

After talking to Leonardo under Raphael's supervision, and confirming her decision to go ahead with this, Don finished the last details for the party to make it a late Sweet sixteen for the blue bandanna turtle. Don had mixed emotions regarding this affair: on one hand, he will no longer be keeping the secret, something that gave him a great relief. But on the other hand, he would also face more awkward moments from now on considering the glares he was already receiving from Raph.

'_Worried about the competition,' _his inner voice retorted as he tried his best to ignore it. How had things ended this way? He had first tried to dismiss the whole thing as instinct related, so he had hoped once she was out of sight and far from his treacherous nose, his emotion turmoil would ease as the source was removed. But now even without her near, without her supportive presence to cheer him out in his frequent self doubt bouts, he just did not understand what was wrong anymore.

He still dreamt of her but the dreams had become... He blushed. _'She is not ready for that,' _he told himself._ 'Shell I am not either!... And you are a selfish ingrate to even consider it.' _he thought.

Don had broken the announcement the previous day. He had not spent much time with her lately and he hoped Leo would talk to April, but somehow doubted it since April had not approached him since their talk.

"Leo has something important to tell us tonight and I need to ask you to be as comprehensive as you can. and, Mikey, don't even think about joking or anything."

"What is it dude?" wide-eyed Mikey asked.

"S... h, he will tell you," Don said.

"You aren't getting together or anything?" Raph snorted, his rivalry resurfacing for an instant, '_since when he had a rivalry on Don?_' was something that had began to bother him, especially since Don's answer did not provide any comfort.

"What if it were as simple as that?" he snapped to Raph's astonished face; he had plans to tell Leo tonight exactly how he felt about her, after a long talk with his inner self and that he was ready to compete for her affection... Well not on those exact terms, he had to admit, hoping not to get disemboweled by the competition.

* * *

**A lonely training run**

She had practiced for hours until she got her speech right and finally dozed, curled against the wall, happy to have retrieved her swords at last.

The big day was finally on and she could only feel anxious. Everything was ready as Casey and April arrived, even Leatherhead and Honeycutt.

He could see Splinter and her brothers looking at her with care and understanding. _'They have been worried.'_ she thought '_Wonder how much Don told them.'_ She sighed as Don gave an announcement ringing a bell: "Leo has something to tell you all." he said, giving her and encouraging pat on the shoulder. To be honest she was still looking for a corner she could hide in the shadow or a rafter. Would be fine, actually now that she considered this better, she could do this on long distance, send them a memo or an email telepresence would work too. She gulped as all the gazes were fixed on her. Being a ninja meant not being seen, that was the objective, so she felt a bit exposed.

She could see Raph's face wondering at the amount of flowers and talking to Casey in a corner, Don had bought many flowers. She liked flowers but this was too much. _Maybe Case is finally proposing to April_, she thought. Yes that will divert the attention; she was watching the couple with a healthy dose of jealousy. As she spoke, she could see Raph dropping the glass of water and Mike choking with the chips he had on his mouth. She could feel April running to give her a strong hug and her father putting his arm on her shoulder reassuringly. They understood and they will remain by her side. Sure some things were bound to change, but they will face it as a family.

And that immediately told her it was a dream, an optimistic one for a change, which was good, she thought. Even if it was only a dream she felt happy, understood, and cared about. But as she lifted her head, she suddenly could see a mirror reflection of herself giving her a sad glance as if it tried to tell her something.

She awoke and unable to sleep anymore she decided for a night or very early day run. It had been a while since her last one, she thought taking her coat and using the underground tunnel in April's shop, to emerge in a far manhole. She was aware Splinter and the rest would probably dissuade her but she really needed some fresh air and suddenly April's basement felt a bit cramped. She almost unconsciously ended in the roof of their first battle against the Shredder and looked around. Somehow all these things have diluted the fact that they were still not safe and it hit her now with all its strength. '_They will never be,_' she looked at the almost full moon. _'but that is life.'_

She had to repress a shudder, feeling as though she was being observed, and she had an airmail confirmation as she caught an arrow directed to her head, that said: "Look up." She looked at the water deposit and read a message written in Japanese apparently directed to her.

"_As the dog turn into pig, the fireworks will begin and the blood moon will appear if the lone turtle by the place of beginning is not in as the pig squeals."  
_

_'Was this some sort of joke by Karai?'_ she thought ready to fend any attack as she unsheathed one sword and kept her hand over the Shellcel to use the distress call button Don had added. She waited for a few minutes but no attack came. She read the message again, not understanding its meaning. She, now alarmed, decided to hit the sewers as soon as possible and made a series of complicated turns to lose any possible stalker. No one came to her distress: she hated vague threats.

_'A message again?, I thought they had give up on those._' she thought. It was already day when she finally thought it was safe enough to return to April's place and was received by five angry glares from her father, brothers and April. She decided not to let them know about the message for they were already too upset about her little trip and today she had more than enough to keep her mind occupied.

* * *

**Author's Notes**

Thanks again to Lady-Kassy for her beta of this chapter.

Thanks to your for your comments, I agree with the comment there are few female warriors on history though, you can always find stories about amazons in almost all the mythologies. One true case was in an African tribe I don't remember the name were the Male:female was so different than the local king decided to train girls from childhood to become ruthless warriors so his kingdom or tribe would not be too weak and they were fearsome enough for other tribes to run on sight.

De Tragedy I am still looking for that poem or song? is quite intersting in the middle ages widows and unmarried women where sent to nunneries for protection for they had to belong to someone, and that is still true in some parts of the world, it was not long ago women were not allowed to own land in some states of the US, and all society have had a major deficiency of women influencing decision. And considering we make more than half of the population that is concerning.

* * *


	19. The party

All TMNT characters are copyrighted by Mirage studios and were created by Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird. And this is a non-profit fanfic.

* * *

Buckle up, seat properly, and be prepared for anything (Mondhexe)

* * *

"I can still see it, the darkness that lingers in your eyes," the arrogant creature said.

* * *

**The party**

"I Lost track of the time," she said to the overly worried Splinter, who had called her into a room to reprimand her.

Splinter sighed. "Leonardo… I have been extremely patient, but you just keep everything to yourself and that is not a desirable trait in a leader. Did you not learn that during your stay with the Ancient One? Maybe it was too soon. Maybe you should go back to him and finish your training." Splinter said almost reluctantly and then, added in a more comforting tone: "We are your family still, though I am no longer your teacher..."

Leonardo was about to argue that usually leaders kept almost all to themselves and that she was not in the mood to talk about the Ancient One, but was moved by her father's final words.

"Sensei, I never said that," Leo replied. "I am sorry to have caused you unease, but I felt a bit… I needed to get out to clear my mind and before I knew it, the day had broken. But I was not seen and nothing happened."

The rat gave her a half-hearted smile, acknowledging he was not going to get anything more from the secretive turtle in front of him, and he was partly to blame about that, he had to admit. He should actually be proud. He sighed again. "Well, go help your brothers. The lair has become a disaster area since you were gone and we have all missed you terribly."

Leonardo felt dread. Her master's idea of what was an inhabitable place tended to divert from hers, but well he was a rat after all. _'Well, at least they have not blown it yet.' _"Don't worry sensei, I am returning tonight, after Don gives me clearance and I will make them clean." She sighed, considering how she found the lair last time; she could only find relief imagining the pristine coast she had seen, remembering the smell of the moist in the air, the chirping birds.

She took a shower and geared up; I was never a good idea to start the day reeking of pheromones and, to be absolutely honest, she was worried about everything.

As she approached the kitchen to get some water and offer her help if needed. After she sort of had given April a coffee with salt on it, April was no longer that trusting of her cooking skills and she hoped to make it up to her today. She was received by a plaster of dough in the face as Mikey had apparently managed to make the cake dough explosive. Again. _'Why did master Splinter thought Mikey should be allowed near the kitchen, when he could barely keep from hitting himself with his nun chucks is one of the mysteries of the world to be unraveled.' _That was a feat worthy of praise: how can you make flour and water into an explosive concoction? It just eluded her.

"I didn't do it," Mikey said, with his hands still holding the bowl and evidences of dough and cream of his face. Seeing the unbelieving glare he was receiving from Leonardo he added: "You know how much I love you, right?" His puppy eyes were in full bloom.

"So... I guess I should help you clean then," she said, taking a spatula to remove the dough that had made it to the ceiling.

She had finally managed to remove all the dough from the fan ceiling and from her face with a lot of paste specks. Mikey handed her a wet towel and even offered to wash her bandanna, taking it without even consulting her. In the lair it would not have been an issue but here, since all her spares where not dry yet, it was odd, she almost never was without it so she felt uncovered.

"Dude you should… remove it more often" Mikey said, looking at her without her mask probably for the first time in his life. "It seems you miss a spot, Oh perfect one" he said removing it with his fingers from the middle of her forehead "What is that?" he asked, pointing at something that did not seem to come out. Out of reflex he wetted his finger with his tongue and tried to rub it off.

The odd scene was interrupted by the arriving Raph carrying a crate of sodas. He dropped them all of a sudden on Mikey's unsuspecting feet.

The cry of pain Mikey made probably alerted the whole neighborhood.

"I told you to back off," he told a wincing Mikey, who was now on the ground looking at his purple toe. The surprised Leonardo tried to approach the crouching Mike but was stopped by Raphael, who had turned his attention to the maskless Leo, blocking her way in the small kitchen.

"What Fearless, are you after this moron too? Guess I am next now or is there a waiting list in your youth corruption agenda?" Raph burst.

Leo looked at the scene increasingly angry, first Raph had injured Mike without a reason and then the comment Raph had made was particularly insulting and, losing control, gave Raphael a hard sounding slap.

Leonardo was speechless, looking at her hand and the now reddening cheek in Raphael who looked at her, startled.

"Out!" she commanded coldly, wielding the full force of her leader's tone with her hand pointing at the door.

"You hit like a girl!" Raph said as he stormed out.

Splinter arrived just in time to see the last part and immediately went to aid the turtle on the ground.

"Leonardo, what is this?" he asked, having only seen Leonardo slapping Raphael and yelling at him to get out in a very atypical lost of control.

Leo just gulped and closed her eyes for a second, grinding her teeth and looking at her hand, ashamed. "Proof that I am no longer fit to lead this team anymore." she answered in a low voice, turning her attention to the still crouching and now disconcerted Michelangelo, who was still holding his toe.

"We will talk about this later, but not tonight. Now go meditate!" Splinter admonished her, noticing Michelangelo in the back. "I will get your brother. Donatello!" he called, noticing Don arriving, "Help Michelangelo."

She was send to bed for a nap as Don would not let her do anything more, and her mere presence caused Raph and Mikey to behave oddly. Splinter had retrieved a repentant Raph, who had reluctantly apologized to Mikey but avoided her. She was not tired, so she could not sleep, no matter how much she tried. She simply stayed still, trying her best to meditate, but there was something in the air that was beginning to make her feel almost asphyxiated. She took another shower and geared up again. She put on her pads in the way she had done since she could remember: arms, legs, sword retainer, swords and a dry blue and white bandanna, as apparently Mike had use chloride accidentally. Don had offered to get her something else, but to tell the truth, she was fine with this as it would be odd enough without her showing up in a dress. She looked at herself in the mirror with some apprehension.

The party started at 8.00 and after the toast Leonardo began speaking.

_'Now or never, girl.' _"As you all know, I haven't been really myself these last months," she said, gaining the attention from all the participants. She had made a resolution tonight. Raph had tried to joke at how pale she looked, that she could use some sun and even offered to accompany her. For some odd reason, Raph was now being almost civil to her. _'I could learn to live with that'_, but also she painfully realized it would mean the end of the sparring and this would hinder her performance in the long run. Mike had finally baked a birthday cake. It was not that pretty but it had a nice smell. Don was playing with his fingers. _'Don't worry this will no longer be your burden.' _she thought, smiling at him.

She sighed. "... and I have a hell of a reason. You see, sometimes things are not what they seem, particularly for mutant turtles apparently and..." She blushed, in a deep purple shade. She suddenly felt unable to breath. _'This is so embarrassing.'_

Leo blushing! And in public! That was enough to catch all the participants' attention, if she hadn't it already.

Her mind went blank. "Don could you tell?" She begged, as she had forgotten the speech she had trained the night before, looking at Don.

Raphael read the interaction and snorted. "What fearless nervous... ?" he mocked.

_'No fearless terrified' _she wished to retort.

"No… you tell them, you can do it," Don said, reassuringly.

"Well I..., we... found out that I am..." She never got to say the final word as the deafening sound of a nearby explosion blurred her words. Her ninja mind took over that instant as she looked at the clock on the wall. 8.45. The dog! The hour of the dog! Suddenly the message began to make sense and she had to hurry, but to where?

As they were startled to find out what had happened, she went to April.

"Ape can I borrow your watch?" she asked, rushing to April. It was absurd, extremely irresponsible, probably a trap but the threat was quite clear and she did not have time to explain for the timing was crucial. April handed her the wrist watch automatically. Leo's commanding voice had that effect on people.

"Sure. Leo are you ok?" she asked, before noticing she was gone.

Leo stormed out, through the sewer tunnels. There was no time to lose. '16th South and Boyle.' She was not sure why, but it seemed like the place to go. She also considered the water tower but that was not the beginning and she really had forgotten the place of their first battle against the Foot. She also hoped it had not referred to the construction area where they had met Karai for the first time.

_'I wonder what Karai is up to this time. Is our out-of-sight, out-of-mind agreement officially over?'_ She barely had enough time, as she heard another explosion on the distance. She knew it was the Foot, since there weren't many enemies who would write to them in Japanese, but it seemed odd. Karai was not one to cause mindless havoc and Hun would not have been as subtle. It could be the Council though, but they would not do something like that.

She knew as she ran that it was a trap of some sort, but they were holding the whole city hostage so, the heroine in her could not waste more time, she would wait until the last moment to make the distress call, she could not lose time explaining. The 'blood Moon' part of the message disturbed her a lot; this city had already gone through a lot without another psycho causing havoc.

"_As the dog turn into pig, the fireworks begin. The blood moon will appear if the lone turtle by the place of beginning is not in as the pig squeals."_ She had to reach the place before 9.01, the start of the hour of the pig. One thing was certain it was directed to her, the lone turtle. Why they would refer to her as lone though, she wondered. _'I always fight by my brothers, and the Foot does refer to me as blue demon sometimes.'_

She entered the warehouse and it was in complete darkness. She hated this place for the memories it woke in her. The place where she had been contacted by the Foot. Where the nightmare had started. She could almost envision the candles and the red mat with the dragon paw symbols on the wall and several Foot soldiers awaiting a beating. She unsheathed her swords feeling a presence and sighed deeply.

"So it is you. Don't you have a galaxy to plunder or something?" she asked, receiving her host in full battle stance.

* * *

She fully expected the silver armor to appear along with a dozen or so Foot soldier, maybe the Elite, the Tech and whatever they had been up to lately. And let's not forget Karai. "I am an idiot" she muttered, about to press the distress call button.

"I would advise against calling your brethren, turtle," the Shredder's voice said, "unless you want to see the whole city burn, starting by your red-haired friend's store."

"They will come anyway," Leonardo said, finally determining her enemy's position. "So, should we start the part where you try to kill me or you want to go on with your megalomaniacs threats first?" she asked, ironic as well as determined.

Her enemy revealed himself at last, but he was using his human disguise, dressed exactly as the first time she had seen him, which was way more disturbing for her than the silver armor. _'That face...' _Just her luck. Why today? She had enough going on today to add a Foot fight to the list and with Ch'rell to make it worse. How on Earth had he escaped? And why the hell was he here? When could he be annoying to someone else, somewhere far far away?

"No, they will not. They are going to be busy enough," The Utrom statted.

"So I guess. Then, send your minions in, so I can find my way out," Leonardo said. "As this obviously is a trap."

Saki's face showed his arrogant smile. "I only wish to have a little conversation with you Leonardo, so would you mind granting me some hours of your precious time?"

Leonardo looked at him muttering to herself: "Icky overgrown brain, icky overgrown brain. Why should I do that?" she added louder, not loosening her stance. A Foot lackey, a shaking one, appeared, bringing a cell phone and a paper with a number on a tray.

"On your friend's house, there is an explosive devise hidden under one of the tables and it has enough explosive power to erase her block. This moment it's already on a countdown. So… unless you call her now and give her the inactivation numbers, you can bid your family good bye. Her number is on number one or if you prefer to use your device..."

Leo bit her lip, and sheathed one of her swords, receiving the cell phone and the paper. She verified April's number and made the call.

"April?" she said.

"Leo, where are you? You just disappeared!" April exclaimed, concerned.

"Could you put Don on the phone?" she asked, leaving no room for arguments.

Don answered. "Leo I know is hard but running away is not the solution. I know Raph is a pain in the shell but… I am…"

"We will talk about it later. Can you check under the tables for me? Right now? It is kind of urgent." She commanded, having backtracked from the Shredder so she would have at least a second or two of reaction time.

Don detected the urgency on Leo's tone and headed straight to the table to find an odd device attached to the bottom part of the table. "A bomb!" he said in a low voice. Leo carefully gave him the 4-digit code and Don was able to disarm it. Don was shivering by now with the explosive device on his hand. "Leo where are you?"

"I am with... an old friend of ours." she replied sarcastically, not losing the Shredder from sight. "I will call you in a minute." she said before hang the phone. "I am listening," she told him, not letting him see her frustration.

"My soldiers have placed many of these devices around the city. 14 to be exact. At the correct time, I will give you the codes and you will make the call, so your brothers can prevent the explosions from happening. They are all in timed safety boxes, so even if you get to them, it will be futile and only I know the correct order. It is amazing what Rylian explosive technology can do. Don't you know it allows no tampering as changes in location of 1 cm, triggers once they are armed and only gives you one shot to enter the code correctly? And it must be done manually. And they lose their explosiveness after one use." Saki explained, handing her the list of places.

Leo sighed, taking the list reluctantly from the Smug-faced bastard. They would be running all over the city and the timing was quite close. Actually they would have to splint into 3 teams, not 4. She could only trust Don, April and maybe master Splinter to tap the numbers. She did not wish to drag Leatherhead into this. And, actually, they had no time to call him. But Raph might just lose his patience and Mikey... Well, it was cake-exploding Mikey.

"What if they don't make it? Actually they can't, unless they teleport. And the people of this city has no quarrel with you." she told the Shredder, trying to not lose her head.

"Do you really think I care?" he retorted, detached. "I will even be polite enough and take you to defuse some of them yourself, so you can come up with a decent excuse for your family."

"You are more deranged that I thought" Leo said.

"Would you have agreed to talk to me alone otherwise?" the Shredder asked.

Leonardo sighed. "Probably not." She did not like a bit being in his presence alone. She turned on her shellcell and made a call again.

* * *

**Author's Notes:**

What you thought it was over?,

No there are still secrets to this story to tell.

Once again thanks to Lady-Kassy for her beta

Thanks a lot for your reviews,

Sorry, about the cliff but the chapter was already too long and the next one requires a lot of work


	20. In between

All TMNT characters are copyrighted by Mirage studios and were created by Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird. And this is a non-profit fanfic.

* * *

"You know, man, maybe you are the female one, that is why we hang a lot." Casey joked. "Admit it! You have a crush on me. Besides you have quite the temper."

* * *

**In between **

Raphael went immediately to the window when he heard the explosions. He would have to apologize to Leonardo, eventually. The insult had been bad, even for him, now that he had cooled down a bit. But for the previous moments, during Leo's speech, he had focused on the odd discolored bandanna he wore, courtesy of Mikey probably, and looking at her with the lights on just seemed surreal.

About the events in the kitchen, he grunted. He had seen Leo before, but usually not without a mask, unless it was in the sewers, and the sewers had never been very bright. But in the kitchen... The slap he had received still hurt, not that he was ready to admit it, but he had decided not to distress his father further, that was why he had returned. This was probably one of the most special days of the year and he had blown it again. Mike still had a gauze and Don had talked about getting him a cast, which would mean Mikey would no be going on patrol for a while. And it was his fault.

Maybe Casey was right, which was something terrifying. _'What if I am a girl? Hell! Maybe we all are... except Fearless. There is no way he is one: he hits way too hard to be one!'_ he thought, rubbing his bruised cheek. But then he did not feel like a girl and if he was, he was well not the regular kind. He was certainly more attracted to April than to Casey. He liked to hang with Casey but there wasn't any physical attraction involved. That would actually be repulsing! Just busting skulls. And he liked busting skulls. That was not girly right? And all his wild fantasies involved girls. Many of them. But lately... _'What the heck had happened? Maybe Leo had been away too long, maybe he caught something in the jungle, maybe it was this accursed period of the year, but then why Leo?'_ He would have understood if it had been Mikey: he was small, or Don: he looked like a girl. But Leo was Leo! A.K.A. Fearless!

_'I am losing it, I am freaking losing it!' _he thought. He was actually relieved to have something to distract his attention from the blushing Leonardo, something that was beginning to annoy him for that was... Agh! That had not come from him! That definitely had not come from him! So when the first blast was heard, he was actually relieved because he, now, could return to his 'What is it and lets hit it' mentality... Insight was not Raphael's forte.

His vigilante mentality immediately kicked in and he went to turn the TV to get the news. As he tried to get to a local channel, he noticed something odd: the previously blushing Leonardo was gone. He looked around and only saw a disconcerted April. _'Guess he wants front seat.' _he thought, expecting to receive a shellcel call soon, probably to Don, as Leonardo always told Don first. Mikey might forget and, well, they argue too much, he had to admit. And Splinter could not turn the device on half of the times. So he focused his attention on Don, feeling a renew urge to beat him for the way Leonardo had asked his help and met his gaze in a cold glare.

Don had also begun to notice Leo's absence, _'She is fast', _and returned Raph an even colder glare_. 'Great now I am involved in a staring contest. And with Raph. That is mature.'_

Don finally averted his eyes, thinking Raph had finally upset her with the nervous comment. _'Great going Raph A.K.A.. The tactful one.'_ He had imagined Leo might run away in one of the scenarios he had pictured, an unlikely one, but then nothing about this was likely and she had just vanished. He wanted to call her but figured it would not be a good idea for she would need some time to calm down and rethink all this, so she could make a decision. It was really too much for anyone. For now he should focus on making sure Mikey did not injured himself further, as for some reason he refused to get the cast until they returned home, but had jumped at the sound outside.

April's cell phone rang just as Don was pondering about the need to call Leo.

"Leo, where are you? You just disappeared!" April statted, concerned as all of them had noticed her absence by now.

"Don? I will get him for you" she said, finding it extremely odd.

Don approached with an uneasy face. Why had she called April, and then him? Leo was not one to go around anything.

He took the cell. "Leo I know is hard but running away is not the solution. I know Raph is a pain in the shell but…I am…" he noticed Raph glare from the corner.

Don detected the urgency on Leo's tone and headed straight to the table, the one holding the cake and lifted the mantel piece. He found an odd device metal attached to the bottom part of the table with some sort of symbols flashing marking 2:00, 1:59, 1:58, 1:57. It did not take a nuclear physic to tell what it was. "A bomb!"

Leo's commanding tone gave him enough stability to dial the code and when the countdown stopped and the device turned off, emitting a characteristics beep and then fell into pieces, he could hear Leo's sigh of relief, as he shook, not fully letting what just had happened completely hit him. He finally took the device and regained enough coherency to tell something was terribly wrong and asked, in a distressed voice: "Leo where are you?"

Her answer was more disturbing that it sounded, as he could hear the sarcasm in her voice. She was not with a friend that was pretty obvious and wherever she was, she was probably in danger too. And she was alone. Who knew where and with whom? He tried to turn on the GPS feature in Leo's Shellcell and nifty addition from the time she was given a beating by the Foot. Don had never told her because he rarely used it and it involved scrolling the menu a lot. He had not finished when he received the second call. By now he could see the surprised stares he was getting from his father, brothers, April and Casey at the device he had on his hands.

"Is that what I think it is Don?" April said alarmed but he could not answer her for Leo was again on the phone.

Before he could ask, Leo started commanding and his ingrained reflexes took over doing exactly as she ordered, not really thinking. She had already planned a whole strategy and orders in the time Don had managed to get over the fact they had been close to been blown to smithereens along with April and Casey. He managed to obtain a pen and paper from April as he quickly scribbled the addresses on the paper.

14 in 180 minutes. In Leo's view it was 3 for each of the three teams and 5 for Leo, with a difference of 40 minutes between each, it was close enough. She stressed the importance of dialing correctly and that the first one was 34 minutes away. So they better get moving. Mikey was off the hook as he was injured so it was up to April, master Splinter, Raph and him. Leo said she would take 5 of them. _'Always the overachiever.' _And he could not imagine who could be behind this but shivered at the thought of the most probable enemy, the secrets he had learned from a cup of tea, hitting him in full force. _'No it could not be that one! That was in a high security rock somewhere far away, so let's not think about that.'_ He not so successfully reassured himself.

* * *

**Author's notes**

Thanks to Lady-Kassy for her beta.

Thank to you all for your reviews. About Leo's voice, this is a fanfic, not everything has to add up, but I played the movie and even the 2003 chapters and the truth is that the only voice that is characteristically male is Raph. Leo voice shows more determination than anything, the voice of a leader some girls I have seen on TV particularly Athletes can have deep voices.

Not the chapter you were expecting right, but I have to work on my real life and the next chapters have been a nightmare borderline obsession. Megalomaniac tyrants always want to take all the available space, and the smooth character that appears in the Shredder Strikes is the one I will be focusing on, later it becomes just your average villain more and more deranged.

I will be relying heavily on the songs from Jekyll & Hyde, the musical but is not going to be a song fic just a few catchy phrases so if you can hear the songs before hand it will work fine. It is a bit experimental so wish me luck with the execution.


	21. A Dangerous Game

All TMNT characters are copyrighted by Mirage studios and were created by Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird. And this is a non-profit fanfic. The Strange Case of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde was written Robert Louis Stevenson. The music was composed by Wildhorn and the lyrics were written by Leslie Bricusse.That is what I call talent.

* * *

Disclaimer:

Buckle up, seat properly, and be prepared for anything (Mondhexe)

As you know I can't post the actual full lyrics only fragments but you can find the lyrics for Jekyll & Hyde, they are around, I wrote it while hearing them and you will get more involved with the plot the music is great too if you can get it.

* * *

"_The frightened princess Doesn't know what to do!" _Jekyll & Hyde

* * *

**A Dangerous Game**

* * *

Leonardo finished the call and sighed looking at the almost gallant Utrom disguised as human in front motioning her to follow.

"Shall we get going?" he asked. "You got one bomb to disarm at the border of the city and the chopper is awaiting in the roof."

"You certainly have taken too much trouble just to talk to me;" Leonardo said ironically "What is this about?"

"You will see it might be nothing after all" the Shredder answered, leading the way.

"Why should I believe you?"

"Child, if I wanted you dead, you and your brood would be already, along with your human allies. Maybe you want to wait until something blast again," he warned, sneering.

Leonardo looked at the ground in defeat, avoiding his robotic stare, the facial expression was flawless enough to get under her skin, as she sheathed her other sword. The bastard had all the cards for the moment but who knew, maybe she will be able to have a showdown at the end of this day and she will return the favor and she could be annoying if she wished. She thought as she trailed after her sworn enemy.

"I am supposed to believe you no longer want me dead? I have proof that says otherwise," she said, unconsciously touching her shell.

"Yes, had my daughter not interfered, we would not be having this conversation. You too are difficult to eradicate after all." Suddenly he turned and looked at the turtle with her hand on her shell. He approached her and examined the crack in the shell with interest. Almost touching it. Leonardo jerked away.

"It seems I did leave a mark, just fitting I would call us even then," he said. "If I am right of course." he added, walking in front again.

_'Ok, that was weird!'_ Leonardo reflected as she finally reached the roof where a helicopter was awaiting. She reluctantly boarded the vessel and seated in front of the Shredder not wanting to lose him from sight '_Where is that damn Utrom Council when you need it? This bastard just escaped again!'_ she thought.

"How long has it been since we met?" Saki asked.

"Over 5 years" Leo replied, remembering everything he had done to them. "But you are quite resilient, I got to give you that; you are worst than a weed and you just keep coming back. I really see no purpose in this. Are you losing your touch?" she said, looking at the view of the city.

"I can return the compliment, I had adversaries before, but you in particular are extraordinary. Who could imagine that sewer blossom of a warrior would bloom so marvelously despite the adversity or maybe because of it...?" He said looking at her. "Your performance during the Tengu Shredder conflict managed to impress Karai after all."

Ok! The Shredder had just complimented her; just what the hell was he playing? "Quit the chit chat. I have a bomb to defuse, thank to you. Do you make my life difficult on purpose or is it a gift you have?"

"My life does not revolve around you, turtles. I am after a much bigger picture. Your lives on the other hand..." The Utrom snarled.

"You took master Yoshi's life" she said.

"Yoshi? .. Ah the guardian. Yes, I did. And you have tried to take my head, more than once: you blew my spaceship, you sent me to exile in a frozen rock... I guess that makes us even and, I must ask, did you even knew the guy? I don't think he would have been so fond of you."

"Life for life," Leonardo said coldly, the _"Eye for eye and the world would go blind" _resounding in her head.

"And you want me to believe you of all agree with that?" The Shredder said cryptically. "I know you better than that."

"No you don't," she snapped as she turned her head. She should remain quiet and close his tirade just as she did with Raph. He was more dangerous than she wanted to acknowledge, but his arguments would be futile against her. She grinned to herself.

But he would not let her have her way. This Shredder was so much more than the one she had first met and that was terribly discomforting.

"I know my presence causes you unease, so I hope my voice will not be as discomforting," he said as he handed her a comm link as they landed on the first objective.

* * *

She sighed in relief from being away from him; he did have an overwhelming presence, as one could feel the power he held. She was not afraid of him anymore, she had bested him more than once, '_but not in the final battle you lost that one'._ She sighed deeply, _he is probably taunting me and at the end he is going to try to kill me that is all, _she reassure herself.

She had managed to find the device quite quickly and was getting acquainted with its design and while waiting the disarming number when the smooth voice of her enemy irrupted through the comm link.

"Have you ever considered changing your decision on my offer?" he asked.

She hit the wall. He could not be talking about that! "That was not even a choice, I will never join you." she said. "Does this has anything to do with the code, or should I start running?"

"No. 3531."

She deactivated the device and heard the beeping sound for the first time. "Tell your brethren about the next two codes: 4589 and 6734. Be brief or else..." He threatened.

* * *

She dialed Don's Shellcell.

"Leo..." Don started.

"Are you in position?" she asked not leaving space for arguments

"Yes," Don answered.

"4589." Don dialed.

"Done," she could hear Don's relieved sigh as she contained hers and hung up. She then proceeded to have a very like conversation with April and then headed to the roof. Where she found 10 Foot ninjas awaiting. "What now?" she spat through the comm link.

"You will have to fight your way to the rope, and make haste we have a full theater to attend and watch the comm link for I won't give you another one." he said.

Leonardo bit her lip as she unsheathed and quickly brought her enemies down then went to take the stair of the chopper.

* * *

"Impressive," the Shredder applauded. "1.2 minutes, I really should invest more in the thug training."

She contained the impulse to lash at him and beat every single inch of this bastard.

"Patience, you still have 11 codes to obtain." He said forcing her to get a grip on herself.

"That the beauty of being the one in charge, I can do anything and you, being the hero, will have to obey." he said with a dangerous tone.

"Don't push your luck!" Leonardo snarled as she seated.

They moved to the next target. Leonardo now glaring at him the full way.

"You see I am a very sore loser, but you could say I am a talented collector. You know how old I am, child?" the Shredder asked.

"Do not child me!" she said indignant and regaining her grip she said "Old, centuries old..." she replied. "Less than a thousand, more than 500 hundred."

"So don't you have questions hatchling?" He said, full of himself.

Being completely honest, she did. Lots of them. This guy had been an actor through history, meet some famous warriors throughout the galaxy; but one could not engage in pleasurable conversations '_Maybe he met Musashi!..._' in person ... _misogynus, remember!' _with ones enemy in good conscience. Right now she was missing the "Kill the turtles!" war cry the Shredder usually used. That was normal... that was safe and this certainly wasn't.

"So I guess you are trying to play me like last time," she said, deciding to fend his attack making it obvious. "It won't work."

"I played you?" The Shredder asked, sounding interested.

"All that charade about the evil force infiltrating every aspect of the society, linked to organized crime, you did a hell of a description of yourself," she retorted.

"Perception child, I did not think you will still have a grudge on me for that little white lie of mine."

"I told you not to child me, you overgrown brain!" she hissed losing her grip for moment.

"Manners!" he admonished "Yet perception, but don't be offended, to me you are but a hatchling compared to my very long lifespan... and yet you should be honored to have manage to capture my attention," he said.

"I am supposed to be pleased from that?" Leonardo replied. "Considering you are endangering hundreds of lives with this little game of yours..."

"I don't know," he said, "that is up to you... I am surprised as well, but you see as for endangering lives, I am not human, so anything I do is not that different from a scientist experimenting with lab animals or an exterminator getting rid of a plague."

"You are not going to scam me with that one. I was at your trial remember? Even your kind and probably every sentient being in the galaxy thinks you a monster." Leonardo answered.

"Yes, I have not been in the Councils favor for a while," he said "As for being a monster... Why are you putting yourself and your brethren in jeopardy to save a city full of beings that would not hesitate to dissect you, and display you in a zoo as the monster you appear to them?"

"That is what we do, that is honorable." she replied no allowing any doubt.

"Odd indeed." the Shredder said. "To tell the truth I had given up my hopes on you, your devotion to your master and your sense of honor would rend you useless to me anyway."

"You have no sense of honor. You would not understand." she spat.

"I don't? You are probably right." he admitted. "Once you disarm it, I will be waiting for you in box five to give you the rest of the numbers. Hurry and try not to disturb the performance, unless you want those human to express their opinions on your appearance. By the way, you know, Mortu and I are practically twins."

She tried to ignore the comment as she had to maneuver her way behind the set of Jekyll & Hyde as the actors where singing and momentarily took her off guard.

"_Why does a wise man take leave of his senses?  
Where is that fine line where sanity melts?  
When does intelligence give way to madness?  
A moment comes  
when a man becomes  
something else ..."_

She shivered as the voice through the link spoke.

"Don't you question, Leonardo, about me? How I came to be what I am?"

"Business," was her only answer.

"Right... 3569." he said. There is an envelope for you there also. But now to my question..." as he heard the characteristic beep.

"I am pretty sure you were born like that!" she snapped, taking the envelope, but not opening it.

"I repeat, you know Mortu and I are practically twins. We, Utroms, are basically clones of each other."

"Yes, and you are the evil one," she said, quite sharply.

"I will wait for you in box five" he said, almost laughing.

She clenched her fists and hit the stage quite hard before jumping to find that accursed box five.

As she found her way inside the box, she was received by a seated Shredder looking at the play.

"Tell me Leonardo, do you enjoy the theater? For I do."

She gave him a hateful look, "Yes. I go every Friday after I give a beating to your pathetic ninjas," she said ironically. "Don't they have waiting time if you are late for a play?"

"Not if you own the theater," The Shredder explained, "don't worry this floor is empty and the cameras have been turned off. I would offer a drink but..."

"Not happening..." she said.

"5789, 5034" he said. "You know, Utroms usually have no taste for art. A shame indeed. It is one of the few things that give me solace in this wretched rock."

She went outside and made the calls.

* * *

"Leonardo, are you alright?" he asked as the sound of the musical played on the background.

"Sensei? Are you with Raph? She asked.

"Yes" he replied, noticing the tone in Leonardo's voice, "My son..."

"Can't talk now… 5789." she waited until she heard the characteristic beep and sighed relieved.

"Leonardo!" Splinter insisted.

"I am fine" she said hanging.

She made the next call to Don.

"Leo?" Don said. "We will think of something to help you. You are in the Saki memorial theater right? I am not that far..." he had recognized the sound in the back, and hated to pronounce that name. "Is Karai behind this?"

_'I wish.' _she thought "Don't! Or you won't make it to the next one in time." she said quite determined. "5034" she added and waited for the beeping sound.

* * *

Once again, she sighed deeply to regain her ground and washed her face in the private bathroom before proceeding out.

Had she not been in the current situation, she would have enjoy the play as she arrived just in time for the

"_How do you tell evil from good?  
Evil does well - good not so good!" _part.

She really wanted to beat the hell out of the smug-faced bastard as she sat. "A quite elaborate plan, next time just give me call, I will be sure to attend." she promised.

"7896. It would not be as fun" The Utrom said.

She sighed and went outside again for the 8th one, in box 1 on the other side of the theater. Which was fortunately empty.

"Why did you take the heart of Tengu from Karai?" he asked. "You know how hard it was to obtain?"

"I imagine, but we had a reason, a very good one. Another psycho. You would understand we have a knack for summoning them," she said, remembering what she had felt when she had seen Donatello had turned monster.

"I assume you did, and you also beat a demon and the original Oroku Saki, so Karai tells me." He said.

"Yes I am sure you enjoy hearing about our many adventures?" she replied.

"I do actually, I love tales of old and not so old." He told her. "She also said you turn into a blue dragon?"

"An avatar, in the shape of a dragon. All my brothers have one." she explained, as she finally found the device.

"Interesting indeed" he said. "9876"

* * *

"Leo?" April called. "We can't find it."

'_We? Casey of course'_ she thought.

"If you can't, leave the building, call the alarm you are running out of time"

"We can't Leo, there is a hospital and a hotel"

"Leave!" Leo commanded.

"We can't, we will find it, don't worry"

"No April leave!" she said, getting desperate as she saw the clock indicating less than 2 minutes to go. "Found it!" she heard in the distance. "Just in time!" April said as she headed to dial "9876... Casey... Oh dear! Leonardo, its not stopping... Case..." she could hear in the distance.

"April!! Casey!!" Leonardo yelled feeling the world break expecting to hear a blast as the play finished the first act.

* * *

**Author's note:**

Thanks again to Lady-Kassy for her great beta.

Another cliff. I got carried away. Sorry! but the next one will be up soon enough.

Expecting reviews, yes I still fear the Leo's fans mobs; you can read the first chapter AN, that is why it took me so long to decide on working on the story and it has been fun I have too admit, but let me know what you think don't be shy.


	22. A Dangerous Game part 2

All TMNT characters are copyrighted by Mirage studios and were created by Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird. And this is a non-profit fanfic. The Strange Case of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde was written Robert Louis Stevenson. The music was composed by Wildhorn and the lyrics were written by Leslie Bricusse.That is what I call talent.

* * *

Disclaimer:

Buckle up, seat properly, and be prepared for anything (Mondhexe)

As you know I can't post the actual full lyrics only fragments but you can find the lyrics for Jekyll & Hyde, they are around, I wrote it while hearing them and you will get more involved with the plot the music is great too if you can get it.

* * *

"Name a price... everybody has one." the creature said.

* * *

**A Dangerous Game part 2**

* * *

"April Casey!!" Leonardo muffled a yell biting her hand, drawing blood, feeling the endorphine withdrawal hit her fully. "You will pay for this" she said through the comm link before she heard April's voice through the cell phone. "Leo, it did not explode...?" April said confused finally getting hold of her mobile phone.

"Thanks heavens for that" she muttered as she hung.

" Don't thank the heavens that one was a dud?" she heard through the Comm link.

"You bastard!!" she swore.

"Manners! The moment I heard you had assigned that human in the task I decided to deactivate hers, particularly as that long hair brute was accompanying her. I am not that trusting of humans as you are, and it will be too soon otherwise."

"Too soon?, What the hell are you playing?!" she hissed.

"Patience, patience." he said "I found out I made grave a mistake when we were introduced and I am making the proper amendments. Better late than never," he said.

"Showing me how much a monster you really are?"

"Get a grip on yourself, youngling. I needed to know how much of a general you are." he explained.

"I am not a general," she snapped, letting the youngling tag pass.

"I beg to differ: a lieutenant always asks for permission, is the general who carries all the responsibility on his shoulders and I haven't heard you ask for permission since this started, did you even mention that little incident yesterday to them?" he asked. As she did not answer, he continued. "Now calm down and enjoy the play. There are still 6 to go."

"I am calling this off." she said, "We are out, you are probably bluffing."

"I deactivated the one for Miss O'Neill, but I have enough soldiers around her and your brothers to bring her and her pathetic excuse of a mate down while stalling the rest, including the one they left behind in the store apparently injured, and are you really willing to risk 6 devices going on?"

She sat down breathing deeply. That was not really an option.

"Yes it is good to hold all the cards." the Shredder mocked as Leonardo felt the rage build up on her fighting it with all her might.

* * *

It took her almost all the time of the interlude to get a grip on herself. She had to remind herself that losing her cool head was not an option, no matter how much she wanted to kill that bastard, the one who loses focus falls first. She breathed in and out remembering the Ancient One's teachings. She was trying to find some sense into this but could not. The plan was too elaborate, too timed. But she had gotten of worse situations. '_Tell me one._' a voice in his head retorted, _'you got out alone.'_

_'When Karai attacked...'_ Yes Karai. _Maybe he is angry at me for cutting his head in that statue?_ That gave her good memories, that would explain things, _yes you have too prove your point_. Great she sighed having finally regained her ground.

The clock kept ticking and she began to worry about the next code.

"Hello," she called through the comm link. "I am waiting here."

"I was beginning to think you would never calm down. Do you usually talk to yourself that much?"

'Enemy field' should have considered it. She just sighed.

"Well, we will change the game a bit: if you want the codes you will have to give me straight answers to my questions. You are talented in diverting the attention, your master must be proud."

"Yes of course," she replied lightly.

"No lying, remember? I can tell when you are."

"Really?" she said sarcastically.

"No sarcasm either,"

"My master... let's say he is not overly proud of me," she finally answered.

"Understandable that is why father and master should not be the same... I learned that the hard way with Karai."

"As if you cared," she said in a low voice.

"I heard that... Regardless of what you think, I do appreciate Karai. We, Utroms, are unable to feel love, as you would refer, but we can learn to care and I do care about her. I would not put her in jeopardy unprepared without a reason. Can you say the same about your father?" The Utrom asked. "How old where you when he sent you against me that first time?"

"Old enough" Leonardo replied.

"You want the code?" Ch'rell retorted.

"15.. or 14... I don't really know," she said.

"So young... OK 6789."

* * *

She made the call "Were the shell are you?" she heard Raph's voice.

"Raph, not now OK?"

"April's was a dud, maybe they all are?"

"Can we risk it?" she statted calmly.

"Ok, gimme the freaking code." Raph said.

"6789"

"About what I said earlier...damn I..." Raph started.

"No offense taken" she said.

"Trouble in the nest," she could hear the Shredder said on her other ear.

"None of your business" she growled.

"What?" Raph exclaimed.

"Nothing" she said. "5 to go." She sighed, hanging the phone.

"There is cape with a hood there. Put it on so your appearance will not raise uproar. I will be waiting for you in a Foot Limo outside the theater. We have a full restaurant to visit after all."

"Theater and dinner, how quaint." she said sarcastically.

"We... I am far too evolved for such silly attics, but there is a bomb there. Your choice?" He said. "If you want to see the rest of the play, I don't care much for the following parts and we can follow the parts I do in the car, live feed."

"I am flattered but I can get there myself thank you. I am uncomfortable enough being on the same planet with you. A car? Way too close."

"And how would you get to the buffet table in the middle then?"

She sighed; he really had all the cards. "I will be right there."

She unfolded the fabric and put it around her, it had a comforting feel to it as it covered her completely, yet it was odd: it looked alien made enough in her experience and it felt to be old. Very old. She clicked the metal piece in the front as she managed to put it on. She then remembered the envelope. Photographs? She felt chills as she saw them. Photographs of April, Casey, even her brothers, even one of her and Raph on the rooftop from that day. If they had gotten close enough to get those, she really didn't want to think about it, it was too disturbing.

* * *

"I am afraid your siblings don't take their training as seriously as you do," she could hear the Utrom on the comm link.

"Very funny," she said as she rushed too the exit of the theater and found the Limo.

She heard the music playing inside.

"_Fly away, fly away, let me find my wings.  
Let me be the girl I want to be!  
I'm afraid to fly away, for all I have is here."_

Ok this officially was the worst day of her life and she had many too pick one including a giant squid offering her the world. What was it with icky creatures and her? _'I thought Don said only turtles are affected...'_

"Turn it off," she commanded.

He surprisingly turned down the volume and she seated on the opposite extreme.

"So you were 14 when you faced me for the first time, barely a hatchling. Now, that would make you 18, 19, in human years, right?"

"Yes," she said.

"Still underaged," he statted, crossing his robotic arms. "Do you hate him?"

"Whom... You? Of course! Do you even have to ask?" she replied.

"No. Your father? The rat." the Utrom said.

"Why don't you ask Karai? At least mine is not a deranged tyrant." she replied calmly having decided to play this game with all her wits.

"Well played," the creature said. "I don't see a guardian insignia in you, did you get one?"

"No" she answered, looking at his eyes. "You can show yourself I am a now accustomed of seeing you in all your ickyness."

"You will like that, it is easier for you, but I have a reputation to uphold."

"You are supposed to be dead," Leonardo said deadly. "I can help you with that."

"Yes you can... You think your late master's master's objective was better than mine?"

"Galactic domination, don't remember that part being on his plans or his guarded for that matter."

The Utrom laughed. "You think the rest of the Utroms are all what will be the appropriate words peace loving, charitable souls? You really are a youngling, they haven't moved a finger to help this planet. Or any for that matter."

"Guess not, but my brother said you did a hell of job ruling Earth in an unfortunate parallel dimension. Why do you have it against the Utrom council anyway? I mean for being so evolved you have been after your own kind for how many centuries. Do they owe you money or something?"

"Parallel dimensions...? Most likely not but they did take something from me long ago," the Utrom said with a tone she could not identify.

"You probably can find a replacement in this wide universe?" she asked. Well, if Bishop and Stockman could have a resemblance of goodness, maybe there was hope '_No too much wishful thinking.'_

"I could, it should be as easy as... but it was not a something, it was a someone. One of my generals. The best of them all." he said. "Funny I had not thought about her in a while, do you really want to know?"

The music playing in the background

_A darker dream -That has no ending -  
That's so unreal You believe that it's true!  
A dance of death Out of a mystery tale -  
The frightened princess Doesn't know what to do! _

_'Do I really?' _she questioned herself remembering the Chinese proverb: "Never forget your enemies are not demons." She could argue against that, she thought closing her eyes and then giving the Utrom hiding in the Saki disguise an angry glare forcing herself to remind everything he had put them through.

"Code" she said coldly.

"I hope I am correct, you know I can see still the darkness that lingers in your eyes. A darkness that rivals mine and where you a life bringer... 4921."

She made the call just in time as they arrived to the restaurant finally releasing April from this mess.

She sighed as she trailed behind him, covered with the cape and the hood. She felt about to be discovered any minute and it made her nervous, as she approached the table and dialed the next too last code returning immediately to the secluded area in a feat worthy of praise.

"Life bringer?" she said with caution taking a seat.

"A female... but turning on the thing at hand you have truly mastered the invisibility part of the shinobi training. Truly extraordinary." the Utrom said motioning her to stay as he rose, "and I most commend you for your resistance, but this game has gone long enough. I will meet you at the penthouse of this building to take you for the final one," as he headed to the exit door he added, through the comm link: "Of course that is if you can make your way out of here... alive." he sneered, closing the door as she discovered the place was crawling with Foot soldiers that were already threatening the other terrified customers.

* * *

**Author's notes**

Once again thanks to Lady-Kassy for making my draft readable, she is the best beta I could hope for.

Sorry about the cliff yesterday, I feel as is I am walking in a mountain with this chapters here, but the chapters could not be written otherwise.

In darkness within a Lovecraft inspired squid captures the turtles and at one point tempts Leonardo to serve him offering him the world, in FF there is a chapter about Bishop and Stockman actually behaving, I think Stockman gets hired by the goverment for less obscure purposes at the end and president Bishop (yeah who could have imagined) risks his life to save him at one point. ODD. (Anyone else wonders why we never really got his background story)

I will be busy this week so, the next one will delay a bit, but I could not in good conscience leave you with the other cliff. Let me know what you think about the Shredder portrayal, this guys does demand all the available space and since he is given little background in the series, now he is demanding the leading role. Divas and megalomaniac tyrants you understand.

Thanks for your reviews I do read them all and they encourage me to take the time to continue writting.


	23. A Dangerous Game part 3: Descent

TMNT characters are copyrighted by Mirage studios and were created by Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird. And this is a non-profit fanfic.The Strange Case of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde was written Robert Louis Stevenson. The music was composed by Wildhorn and the lyrics were written by Leslie Bricusse.

* * *

"_You can't control me! I live deep inside you! Each day you'll feel me devour your soul!"_ **Jekyll & Hyde**

* * *

**A Dangerous Game part 3: Descent **

Oddly enough she felt excited, the thrill of an upcoming battle running through her veins, giving her an adrenaline rush. She still thought the Shredder had finally lost his mind, but well, as long as she got her showdown, it will be worth it for she would be able to redeem herself, for the murderous Shredder was an enemy she could fight.

Breathing deeply, actually happy to find something she finally could understand in this hectic day. She looked at April's watch reluctantly. She will have to make her way out fast but there were plenty of Foot thugs and techs blocking her way. _'No problem'. _The issue at hand were the civilians. Fighting while maintaining her low profile in such a close space seemed just impossible. _'Annoying creatures.'_ a voice in her head told her, 'I_gnore them and get them out of the way.' _Leo shook her head. That definitely was her bad half and she was not listening to it. One lunatic per building was enough. It was then that the bastard started playing the whole musical through the comm link.

"I am so going to get you for this" she said as she heard: "It is called Facade. Reminds you of someone or have you told them all you have done...? Listen carefully." the Utrom spat through the comm link.

"_The ladies an' gents 'ere before you - Which none of 'em ever admits -  
May 'ave saintly looks - But they're sinners an' crooks!_

_Hypocrites! _

_There are preachers who kill! There are killers who preach!  
There are teachers who lie! There are liars who teach!  
Take yer pick, dear -'Cause it's all a facade!"_

"Do you know how many lives you have taken? How many more you would take today?"

"I will simply ignore you," she said, trying to close down his tirade, repressing the urge to destroy the blasted implement on her head.

_'Fear could work,'_ she thought as a less bloody plan took form. Taking the candle from the table and activating the fire alarm, she screamed: "Fire!" The civilians headed disorderly to the exit door as she mingled among them and moved to the door the Shredder had disappeared from. But the Foot soldiers just would not budge.

She sighed again as she unbuckled the cape reluctantly, revealing her true appearance as she took out her swords. She could hear some far yells of "Monster!" emitted by the remaining civilians, people who freaked out instead of running.

"Fight or fly, don't panic!" she said bitterly, pushing them out of her way as she began to gracefully fight her way out, taking anything Foot-related on her way. She was out before the song was finished.

"3 minutes. Impressive! I have an estimate, would you like to hear it?"

"Shut up." she snapped.

"You summoned the authorities, well thought... Oh... I just found just the song... You do know I can keep them out right?"

"You and your blasted play." she said.

"Manners!" He said. "This is called Good 'N' Evil, one of my favorites. You know, one word and I could spare you all of this."

"Oh yes! Please save me!" She said sarcastically. "Gimme a break! As if I would join you?" she snarled. "This is what this is about? Spare me! It is not happening. And you even got the play? Wow! That is planning ahead!" As the song continued

_"Good may be thankable! Evil is bankable!"_

"Oh that is so truth an statement. Don't flatter yourself so much the play was already scheduled. Would you rather be hearing West Side Story?" he mocked. "For a while I thought it would be suitable for you and Karai, I was truly mistaken about that."

"You would not like my rendition of "I Feel Pretty", believe me. And at least _I_ can sleep at night. Can you with everyone fearing you?" she said.

"Sleep... I have no need of that... but can you really, young one?" the Shredder mocked as she discharged her frustration on the next pack of Foot that came her way. "Don't you feel the darkness inside you? Don't you feel unrest to just remain here wasting you talents?" Shredder said through the comm link.

She just ignored him. Fighting and having a verbal duel at the same time with the Shredder might cost her neck.

She finally made it to the other side of the door and rushed to the stairs. She just reacted as she lunged her swords at the techs behind her, sending them flying. She breathed deeply to regain control. Fortunately he had not tried another song; she had already lost a lot of time, the thrill of battle building up so much for leaving her alone as the next one started. That one was called Alive.

She got caught on the lyrics as she fought her way.

"_There is no battle I couldn't survive - Feeling like this - Feeling alive!"_

She had to calm down a bit as she saw the blood on her swords and found a place to catch her breath finding a few unsuspecting soldiers at the same time.

"Predators live on the prey they pursue! This time the predator's me!" She took a deep breath, feeling her control slip. _'I'm better than this, ain't I?'_ She had to reassure herself, starting to feel the beginning of another headache. "Perfect timing, as usual."

This was getting out of control and the Foot just seemed to appear out of thin air. Tired and thirsty after 6 floors, she considered the elevator that had conveniently open, apparently empty. She did not know how, but she already knew where the invisible soldiers were and finished the 5 of them in the blink of an eye, but that would be as good as another song. She bit her hand as she fought the pain from the headache as she made her way to the shaft...

"Oh no, no cheating. You can't access the penthose using that one." the voice through the comm link said. "Try the other side, the one in the middle."

"_A pack o' wolves is howling at my door! I'm living in a non-stop nightmare..." _

She sighed as she left the elevator to face another pack of enemies this time the Elite.

"_As nameless ghosts and faceless ghouls Bid me join the dead!  
No one tells these gruesome fools That the world has lost its head!"_

'_Fitting'_ she thought as she pushed them through the stairs, it took her less than 10 minutes. She was already dizzy and confused and more appeared._ 'This just gets better and better but so have I.'_

She laughed bitterly. "You are trying to drive me insane right? You really don't want to tap into that I am no naïve creature to fall for your plans."

"I am tired of Jekyll, I am rooting for you inner Hyde to come out, Leonardo. Maybe he will be more reasonable." he statted plainly, playing the confrontation scene as she entered a mirror hall flooded with more thugs. "You are all ready running late by the way. Don't you have some codes to deliver? Unless you stop holding back, you won't make it in time. Not with those pitiful weapons you call swords anyway." he mocked as she finally cracked under the pressure as well as her swords.

"You psychic!" she said bitterly as she took the swords from one of the fallen soldiers.

"Now we rob the dead."

"Shut up," she snapped as she took an incoming attacker and propelled him to the wall ending as she faced one of the mirrors, briefly observing her reflection with blood splattered over her face mask and plastron. She also saw something else: the very creature she had fought long ago: her inner self battling to be released.

"_All that you are is a face in the mirror! I close my eyes and you'll disappear!" _

The headache became more acute as she barely avoided another pack of thugs by the time she reached the final floor. She was no longer holding back as her swords could prove, she still was not back in her normal shape and she felt the clock ticking unmercifully.

"You took too long," the Shredder said, he was seated in a high chair at the far end of the room, as she arrived with some minor cuts and blood spattered over her face and plastron. Her bandanna now red, blue and white. "The final code 9876." he told her. "You did not make it, but don't worry, I already ordered it to be deactivated. It would not be fun otherwise. 5892, 3489"

She sighed, trying to regain her breath. Fortunately the remaining soldiers would not venture inside the doors.

"The Iosua Queme of the Chuchaviva," he said as she dialed, turning off the lights using an applause, "The messenger of the Death Goddess. A fitting name, except for the frog part. Who could have told honorable Leonardo would stoop so low?" he said showing projection of the photograph taken from the camp_. "That camp."_ She closed her eyes, briefly trying to avoid the bigger than life projection.

That caught her off balance. The Frog Messenger of Death. The local name she had been given. '_How could he know?_' She clenched her teeth. She was so downright furious, tired, and dizzy, she was as good as dead, she thought bitterly, but she would not go down without a fight. She will have her showdown one way or the other, she thought as she dialed.

Don's voice brought her back to reality. "Leo!"

"Don?" she said, blocking the camera with a blood tainted hand. "5892."

"How much have you told them?" the Utrom asked. "My bet is you have not uttered a single word." he added. He was now geared with the armor and had his helmet in the other hand.

"Leo!!" Don called, recognizing the voice in the background. "The Shredder! ... We are coming." he said. "Are you all right? Get away from there, escape!"

"Can't do that," she replied deadly, "But I am still breathing, thanks for asking."

"I will be right there" he said.

"Call master Splinter. 3489. Watch out by the way. I need to finish something a bastard tin head man that has been trying to drive me mad." she said, hanging, ignoring Don's voice releasing the shellcel on the ground as she took the sword she had taken from one of the fallen soldiers as her recent acquisition had already cracked.

"You would think after saving the world so many times you could at least afford a decent pair of swords, or at least some respect from your comrades."

"Shut up!" she commanded, using her remaining strength to finish him off while battling the headache that had become almost unbearable.

"One would expect a warm welcome after being abroad for so long, not a brother trying to kill you. At least Karai was happy to see me." the Shredder taunted stepping on her Shellcel, "Last time, I told you, but I did not show you what I was talking about. What is your price child? What do you want to join me? I could offer you everything." he said avoiding her lunge and lifting her by the throat pushing her to a wall. "What you truly want, only _I_ can give." he hissed to her ears.

"I have been offered the world before and you know, you can't _give_ it, can't even _buy_ it, and you just don't _get it_ " she answered, landing a solid kick that managed to get her released. She had used a phrase from a late night show Mikey fancied.

"For your family safety perhaps, it seems not all of them are as proficient as you."

Considering the hateful glare he got, he added: "I am right! You come cheap child, but that would not work either." He sighed.

"Shut up and stop moving." she spat feeling increasingly dizzy. "I am trying to get that obnoxious mouth of yours at least." She lunged again, desperate to find he was playing her he had played her all along.

"Now we have gotten unreasonable," he said, landing a kick on her plastron that sent her flying. As she stood in the terrace wiping the blood from her mouth, she heard a distant blast and saw two fires starting on the distance. _Don! Raph! Father! _She could not suppress a cry.

"Oops. I think I mixed them up..." the Utrom said laughing.

"I will get you for this!" she hissed letting the darkness engulf her as she heard a collected voice that said: "Now have we gotten ourselves in a mess, I will get you out of this, step aside."

* * *

That was the last she remembered as she limped back home. She just could not remember anything more. _'Had she gotten the Shredder? Unlikely. How had she gotten out? Figures, Was she seen? most likely.'_ Everything ached and she felt her head spinning feeling extremely tired, thirsty, hungry and frustrated for not being able to summon the tears she felt building up like a painful knot on her throat. Once again she had failed, she had endangered them all. _Where they even alive? _She wondered as she collapsed on the couch exhausted.

"Yes, they are. Sleep now." She could hear that collected voice again. "But not thanks to you."

* * *

**Author's notes**

Once again Thanks to Lady-Kassy for her beta on this chapter you can thank her for not cliffing the ending again I don't do it on purpose I swear.

The final of the Dangerous Game chapters. Please let me know what you think about them as a whole. if anyone followed them with music? at least try Alive is really chilling.

Thanks again for your reviews.


	24. Behind the scenes

All TMNT characters are copyrighted by Mirage studios and were created by Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird. And this is a non-profit fanfic.

* * *

"All thing that are all the training you can achieve, remember nothing beats a good night sleep" the fat Ancient man said.

* * *

**Behind the scenes**

Mikey had remained behind reluctantly, being left in the dark, except for small details of the current threat. He had tried his best to pretend he could help but, as he had stumbled when he had tried to walk, his brother had decided to leave him behind, almost reluctantly as they had called upon the aid of Leatherhead to take Mikey to the lair.

He was crossing his fingers. "I will guard the fortress and keep you updated with the news." he had said with his characteristic smile when April had asked him if he would be Ok. He had sat down and tried to eat a piece of the cake. He was not even hungry so he put in on the side.

"Damn! He did not even try my cake." he said when he found the plate he had served for Leo that also laid forgotten...

"Great support member you are Mikey! Once again Leo needs you and you are dead weight." he felt dejected.

He worried a lot about Leo. They all did. Having seen the indestructible Leonardo land badly injured through the window had indeed managed to shake him a bit, and it still did. Being the perceptive turtle he was, he had known something had been bothering Leonardo for a while, but he knew not to bother his big brother, for Leonardo was one to keep everything to himself, that was a hard rock fact since he could remember. Leonardo would stay between him and everything he feared, whether imaginary monsters or real life ones as a immense shield, and adamantium one, even from Master Splinter's reprimands.

Master Splinter was great too, but he could be in a different dimension and he certainly did not confide anything on goof of Mikey, so the least he could do is try to cheer up Leonardo, as odd as Leo had gotten recently. _'Should not have read all those X-rated material, I am still delusional.'_ He shook his head, turned on the TV and dropped the plates as he saw a life broadcast of a mobile phone's recording displaying an apparent Alien sighting; the recording showed an image of a covered figure in a cape that, upon discarding it, revealed to be Leonardo heading to face a large amount of Foot, he quickly dialed the Shellcel.

"Guys! Leo is on TV! And he is heading to fight the whole Foot army!!"

"What?!" Raph yelled. "Screw this, where is he?" he asked as he tried to contact Leonardo in vain for the 5th time.

Michelangelo had tried to get the exact location calling to the local news, but to no avail.

"Don!" Raph called, "Fearless is heading to another lonesome battle apparently and he did not invite us."

"What?" Don exclaimed. "He was just in the Saki memorial, how did ...?" he scrolled until he found her location. "The one in Maine and..." _Shell! _there was interference, "...We still have two to go. We are stuck."

"Screw them, I am heading that way." Raph spat. "I am not letting Fearless take all the fun."

Splinter sighed, "Take care my son."

Don finally found the explosive device. He had taken a shortcut, using the turtle chopper with April on it, bringing Honeycutt along as he was able to deactivate it without using the code, so he sighed relief as he heard Leo's call.

"Leo!"

He shivered when he saw the blood tainting the monitor. He froze as he heard the other voice he would never forget: it still gave him nightmares.

"Leo!!...The Shredder! ... We are coming." he said. "Are you all right? Get away from there, escape!" he begged.

_'Of course she would not run,_' he thought._ 'Why do you have to be so honorable? Just run.'_

"I will be right there," he said not knowing how. "Leo, don't play the hero! Run from there." He jumped on the chopper as he headed to pick Splinter who had already managed to deactivate the final one. It was then he heard two explosions on the distance on the neighboring buildings. _"Odd!" _he thought.

By the time they reached the place, it was crawling with police officers around as the events of a massive fight appeared to have taken place according to what he could get from the police transmission. He tried to pick Leo's signal again but it was already gone. Unable to keep his composure anymore he began to weep as the top part of the building was caught in a blaze. "Leo!!"

The still anxious Michelangelo was finally in the lair brought by Leatherhead who had already headed to the infirmary to prepare the cast. He heard a noise at the entrance and thought the rest have returned.

It was then he found the asleep bloodied turtle curled on the couch. With a bloodied bandanna. He looked at his older brother, feeling dread as he cried: "Leo..?" limping to her side.

It was Leatherhead who managed to make the call as Michelangelo just froze in the spot. _This just could not be happening, not again. _

* * *

**Behind the Scenes part 2**

* * *

On the Foot building, a stoic faced Utron played the recording again trying to find some sense as things had started to lose it more and more. '_This wretched planet!' _he thought. _'Now I am seeing ghosts.'_

The turtle stood up, changing her countenance radically as she straightened and looked at her left hand with a curious glare, letting go one of the swords.

"And they call this metal! Saag!" she said looking at the sword then threw it as an useless object. She then stretched a bit as if trying her body flexibility and did a series of backward flips and somersaults as if she was trying a dance routine and afterwards, she gracefully landed a feet away from the Utrom, looking at him with interest, moving around him, poking him, interested like a little child.

"Metal! Uh... You have gotten taller... Your name... No, you are no longer... When did you...? Cheater... Ch'rell? Nice seeing you." she said with a sneer as she lowered her eyes to the robot's abdomen knocking. "Hello?" It was followed by an odd sound.

"It is you! I finally found you!" the Utrom exclaimed. "I though I was deluding myself... Now I have to set your old self into that creature and... I will have you back."

"Ch'rell, stop it!" she said sternly turning to play with her finger delighted. "Six.. its... odd!" she chuckled.

"I just found you. Just wait a bit." the Utrom resumed. "You are still not fully awakened."

Leonardo laughed. "I died, deal with it, all vows end with death for a reason."

"We don't play by the rules!" he spat. "We don't have too, you swore..."

"That I did, did not I? But you know though, spending 3 full cycles as a sentient plant atoning for the things I did while I was with you does change ones perspectives... No regrets though, it was fun. But we did a lot of damage and all things end. Sadly... I am heading that way already again, but let me go, Ch'rell, it is for the best. I already fulfilled my oath to you, you are whole again."

"You are just startled, the real you will be delighted once you fully awake." the Utrom promised, opening his plate revealing himself. He motioned a Foot soldier carrying the cape and a metal bracelet. "I even got them back."

"Ch'rell..." she begged looking at the objects but not touching them, shaking her head. "You are a dear... I am flattered. I will... How would this creature express it? Hug and kiss you if you weren't still all that icky... but sorry that is not the way things work."

"You will see, we will rule this galaxy... together." the Utrom's tone was reassuring.

"You have gone soft Ch'rell." she pouted and then sighed shaking her head. "Half the times we were near of drawing our weapons to each other and now, you are talking about us as we. You should be seeking... This creature is not me... not anymore, I was much better looking and s... this creature would not join you... Honor..."

"One way or another, I will have you by my side again." he said sternly.

The creature in Leonardo's shape sighed deeply. "I am warning you to not pursue this. I call upon your honor as a warrior to let me go for now; as you see I am not currently in fighting conditions," she pointed at some minor cuts. "As you see, this child is reckless indeed. Fighting just out of convalescence... The only thing left for us is to finish our fight, and that will be it."

"I can bind you here, I can force you back." he threatened, looking at her with interest. "The gender will be a problem, but it will work. I will make it work!" the Utrom was almost pleading.

She sighed again, closing her eyes but facing him. "Consider this the first and final warning Ch'rell, don't pursue this." she commanded, almost touching the purple mark on the Utrom's eye playfully with her hand extended. "Until our next fight." she added, using a smoke bomb to disappear.

The Utrom looked at the distance from the penthouse, looking at the leaving turtle with the blood spotted bandanna and then he could see her and remember her face finally after 6 centuries. "I will get you back, I always get what I want." the Utrom said, still feeling the burning feeling over his eyes he had felt so long ago.

"It can be done," the odd creature answered. "But her host will have to agree."

"Don't worry I still have all the cards." he said. "Leonardo would do anything for them, even disappear."

* * *

**Author's notes**

Thanks again to Lady-Kassy for her beta of this chapter.

Thanks again for your reviews, It's good to know the story still sparks your interest. Let me know what you think of this chapter.


	25. Posttraumatic Stress?

TMNT characters are copyrighted by Mirage studios and were created by Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird. And this is a non-profit fanfic.The Strange Case of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde was written Robert Louis Stevenson. The music was composed by Wildhorn and the lyrics were written by Leslie Bricusse.

* * *

"There is no battle  
I couldn't survive -  
Feeling like this -  
Feeling alive!"

Jekyll & Hyde

* * *

**Post-traumatic Stress?**

Leonardo finally awoke feeling strange. Everything felt so unreal: the colors around her, the reeking smell of the sewer, the cold of the morning, the feeling of fabric of the couch, the sweat and blood, sticky on her skin… She tried to move and found all her brothers snuggled by her side. _'They are back,'_ she thought without any particular emotion.

She gently pushed them away and her stomach growled. _'Food!'_ she thought as she religiously headed to place her seat on the table and poured the cereal. It wasn't until she had poured the milk that she realized she was not hungry anymore and headed to the bathroom to take a shower. She felt the water taking away everything and allowing her to clear her mind. She used the towel to pat herself and remove the moist in her skin, but then she suddenly caught a sight of herself on the mirror. She stopped momentarily, dropping the towel and she began to laugh hysterically, all of a sudden feeling an urgent need for air taking control of her lungs. She tried to gasp for air but felt drowning instead.

She forced herself to control her breathing, finally regaining her focus on that peaceful spot with leaves and sand as she started to mutter some mantras that had been ingrained to her since she could remember, with its soothing and monotonous tone that helped her to drive her troubled mind into the nothing. She then headed to the dojo and considered practicing some katas for her morning practice.

"I am out of swords again," she said to no one in particular. 'W_ell meditation then…' _she thought assuming the lotus position with her hands on her best imitation of the harmony hand seal. Splinter, who was now deeply concerned as he had trailed after her since the kitchen, called her, trying to awaken her as he assumed she was sleepwalking. He expected her to return to her room or the couch, any minute. He was deeply worried about the tone of the laughter he had heard so became more insistent in his attempt to waken her when she headed to the dojo. The weapons there where dangerous indeed so he made his way quickly in front of her to stand between the weapon-stand and the sleepwalking turtle, but what Leonardo did was even worse and he felt his heart freeze when he heard her talk, as time seemed to stop when he saw Leonardo assuming the lotus position, almost clumsily while uttering mantras and rocking back and forth in an almost frantic and unearthly tone.

"_Just what happened to you my child?"_ He wondered, sitting by her side, refraining himself from trying to awake her anymore, as the turmoil inside her was palpable.

* * *

Don awoke later and found himself snuggled along with Raph and Mikey. '_Ok that was odd_.' And then he noticed the missing turtle, all the events of the previous day coming back suddenly, he called the alarm: "Leo!" and woke the other two. "Leo is gone!" The recently awaken turtles still half sleep looked around confused and anxious. Their confusion was eased when a now almost fully geared, sans swords and fresh looking Leonardo walked through the door of the kitchen drinking a glass of juice.

"About time. Up sleepy heads! It is time for the morning practice, you got a lot of catching up to do." she said collected.

Splinter who had left the dojo, to get some herbs, for a minute and returned to find it vacant. He looked at it confused: She had sneaked on him! And that was deeply disturbing for he had not felt the darkness dissipate.

She was mumbling some tunes of the songs she had heard the previous day as she returned to the dojo.

"Morning sensei" she said with a bow.

The rat and the trailing turtles looked at Leonardo disconcerted.

"Leo, are you alright?" Don asked cautiously.

"Why should I not be? Don't you trust my fighting skills Don?" she retorted, narrowing her eyes with a particular glee in them.

"Ok, what the heck is this about? Where the shell have you been?" Raph spat distracting her attention from Don.

"Tsk, tsk… Manners! We don't need another injured, Raphael. Haven't you learned to keep your composure?" she said with a giggle.

"You bastard we were worried about you," Raph growled.

"Really?" She said in a disbelieving tone with a sneer sighing "But you don't want me here remember? And sorry, but I can take care of myself, Raph. I am a big ... shinobi." And then she began to sing slowly as she waltzed in the dojo around them.

"Like the moon, an enigma,... Lost and alone in the night... Damned by some heavenly stigma,  
But blazing with light!" She laughed. "The theater is fun!"

"What the heck was that?" Raph exclaimed, trying to bring her down but missing by inches. She used his impulse to propel him to the corner.

"That is what I am talking about: you have gotten slow. One mistake like this and your enemy gets your sais and neck." She said snatching the weapons from his belt before he could react and threw one of them to the practice dummy.

She continued to mumble the song. "It's the feeling of being alive!...Who is next? Shall we take our itinerant and always humble Battle Nexus Champion first?" She pouted when she noticed the cast. "Oh! I forgot! Injury leave, thanks to hothead there." She said still playing with the sai like a baton, looking at the limping Mike. "An excuse as good as always," she added in a low voice.

"Then..." She turned to Don. "Don't you want to take on me Don ...? For real this time." She said devilishly. "How about a little gamble on my part?"

Don gave her a horrified face.

"Guess not" she replied to herself, chuckling

"Out!" Splinter commanded to his other sons, fearing Leonardo would lash at them. He was ready to take her down himself.

"What a feeling… Mmmmm… Such a felling of… Mmmmm…" She continued. "But Master I must be ready to finish your vendetta! That is my only purpose right...? The Shredder is back!" She giggled

"Leonardo enough!" Splinter said with a marked Japanese intonation and he added something else his other sons could not understand.

She let go of the sai and put her right hand on her forehead while clenching her eyes painfully, speaking in Japanese. "Yes... Disappointment... Failure… A worthless makeshift warrior, unworthy of a weapon… Lia... But I will finish my task master... No matter what it takes" she said bowing lightly "And I guess I could use some sleep." she said in English heading to her room.

No one uttered a word after she left, no one moved for a while.

"I will meditate on this, make sure he does not leave the lair," Splinter commanded, heading to his own quarters.

"Father!!" Raph yelled, demanding an answer.

"Not now. I need to meditate on this." He said, not turning his back on the startled turtles so they could not see the pain on his eyes.

"Post-traumatic stress probably" Don offered as explanation. "I mean, the Shredder..."

"He meant all of it." Raph spat. "Every single damn word, are you deaf?" he said pushing Don who pushed back angrily.

"Yes, says the one whose only purpose in life is to see if he can tick Leo off! Well, congrats bro." They eyed each other, about to start a fight when the third turtle interrupted.

"Do you think we can sign him for America's got talent? He does have a nice voice." Mikey said, trying to break the ice. He received two smacks from the other disconcerted turtles as reward for his effort.

* * *

Leonardo remained asleep for 14 hours straight before waking up.

She just headed to the kitchen and ate two bowls of cereal as she was starving. She could not understand why her brothers behaved so oddly around him today, for this was supposed to be the day she was supposed to leave on "training" to perfect his skills.

She had awaken in a good mood and prepared her duffel bag excited about the upcoming trip _'Could have sworn I did it yesterday.'_ She thought.

"What is it Raph?" she asked as she looked for her swords, being unable to find them. "I could have sworn they were here yesterday…" _'Odd, indeed.'_ "Mikey, where are my swords?" she said, seeing the orange bandanna turtle approaching...

"Dude, you are not going anywhere near any weapon. High orders."

She sighed. "I will be back before you know it. It is only one year, you won't even notice I am gone." she said, ironically.

"What?!" both of them exclaimed.

"My leader training... Master Splinter told you last week, remember? I need to polish my skills spending some time alone."

"Dude but that was..." Mikey started and ran outside, well as much as his foot allowed. "Don!!"

"But you just returned..." Raph said pushing her to the wall. "What are you playing?"

"OK, I am not listening to you... I really don't want to fight with you today, OK? I am leaving so you won't have to endure my presence for a year. You should be happy." she said, pushing him away unsuccessfully.

When Don arrived he found them like that and he pushed Raphael. "Step away!" he said rather territorial. "Leo what year is it?"

"Dah, I know, you really don't want me to leave." _'But you are going to party as soon as I step out.'_ She thought. "But it is necessary is... for you" she explained, looking at them. "And, please, give me back my swords, I mean it!" she said getting annoyed.

The 3 of them looked at the decided blue bandanna turtle, confused. "Master Splinter!" they yelled at unison.

* * *

**Author's notes**

No Leo is still alive and back in the lair so be ready for more mayhem.

Thanks again to Lady-Kassy for her beta of this chapter

Thanks for your reviews I don't think I would have continue this long without Lady-Kassy and your support. So thanks to all the regular reviewers and the new ones I was thrilled to find out I had reviewer from every continent in the reader traffic feature.

Did anyone heard the Jekyll & Hyde music? Alive is probably the most chilling one and probably this is the last of the song fic attempts in here.

Mantras: are religious or mystical syllable or poem like prayers but their objective is to divert the mind from illusion and material inclinations forcing the mind to achieve meditation. Like the Ohm sound in yoga, in the chapter they travel to the Battle Nexus they are able to pass because Leonardo was able to recite I am not sure if the call it prayer though what they had hear Splinter before he passed through the portal so Leonardo most be familiar with them but for some reason his brothers aren't at all.

Do you think I should modify the summary, I am open to suggestions here?


	26. The samurai and the shinobi

* * *

TMNT characters are copyrighted by Mirage studios and were created by Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird. And this is a non-profit fanfic.

* * *

"Don't be mistaken we are enemies, will probably will always be," the tall slim creature to the Utrom said.

* * *

**The samurai and the shinobi **

**(The Ronin & the kunoichi) **

The blue bandanna turtle knelt before her master.

"Leonardo, what is the last you remember?" he asked, concerned about what he could rescue from his other son's erratic mumbling.

Leonardo sighed. Wasn't he supposed to leave today? "Packing everything and cleaning the room after yesterday's..." she stopped she did not want to go on the discussion that had taken place the previous night.

The rat looked at her confused. There was something remarkably different about this Leonardo: as though the confusion had vanished, the turmoil remained and he could not tell if that was good or bad.

The date worried him quite a bit. He would have understood if Leonardo had chosen to retreat his mind to the previous night, or maybe a week or a month ago, but 2 years and a half was a very long time.

Had his son been unwell that long? Had he been blind not to see it until it exploded in his face with yesterday incident, for Leonardo to choose to position himself in the day before her departure, fully knowing it had not been a particularly pleasant day must have significance. He sighed. But given the disturbing information Leonardo had given him the previous day, he could not leave him on that safe spot he had chosen for he could not endanger them all.

"Leonardo, why are you hiding?" he said looking at her straight in the eyes hoping Leonardo might shake it off. "You mentioned the Shredder was back yesterday when you attacked your brothers…"

Leonardo gave him a confused and ashamed look and answered. "I did? I am sorry father I don't..." She could not remember. "Am I responsible for Mikey's injured foot?..." she wondered with horror and then the first part got to her. 'W_ait Shredder... Karai?' _

"In a sense you are, but we are not sure what you meant. You did not provide us with any information except the codes," Splinter said. "You were out of control. You know that it is..."

"Unacceptable" she finished.

"I need to relieve you of your duties for now, as you see..." Splinter said reluctantly.

"I understand I will be a liability. I would try to remember, Father, or at least piece the facts together." she said wavering. Had her blunder been so great that her father no longer trusted her? Well, if she had hurt Mike, she would not trust herself either, Had she... wait since when he refer to himself as a she? She thought, even more confused, '_Must have hit my head harder than I thought.' _deciding to check his head for bruises, The one he could feel on his neck actually worried her, 'A_gain!' _for HE knew Karai was not that strong. But her father was in exile right? The Utroms had him somewhere secure far away and why would he come back to Earth? It would make no sense considering that that creature had made a great effort to escape from this wretched rock, as he called it. He would not be as petty as to return for a simple vendetta right? For some odd reason she did not want to know._ 'Now I am confused.'_

"Very well my child," Splinter said. "Remember, that is of out most importance..."

Leonardo raised deciding to spend some time on meditation she... he or whatever really… needed some time alone.

"Leonardo are you... happy?" Splinter asked unsure, remembering the things he had heard yesterday.

"Yes, Father." She replied. "As happy as I have always been." she added almost automatically.

"I know I don't tell you this often, but I am proud of you, you know that?" the rat told her almost reluctantly.

_'Great now he is using reverse psychology,'_ she thought bitterly."I am only doing my duty master." '_Not really that well if I did all those things.' _"And I will strive to earn that undeserved honor." she said taking her leave.

Splinter sighed as she saw her leave.

* * *

She headed out to find Mikey. If she had hurt him, she was going to apologize immediately. '_Ok brain, have it your way.' _she thought in defeat.

She found Mikey in the couch watching TV and eating some chips silently with a miserable look on his face.

Leonardo could mirror the look as she crouched in front of him. "Mikey I am awfully sorry. Master Splinter told me what happened." she said, putting her hand on Mikey's shoulder.

Mikey was now having chills: Leo had stopped touching them for a while now as if she had been purposely avoiding contact and having her so near made his mind go AWOL, with odd thoughts plaguing his mind. He blushed deeply no even understanding what she was saying and he instinctively just gave her a strong hug.

The heartwarming scene was interrupted by Don's arrival who upon seeing the scene blasted at Mike. "I told you to give Leo space!" he yelled.

Leo turned her eyes to Don. "I was just apologizing." she stood and went to Don.

"Leo, come here." he called, whispering to her ear. "I told you the season is still up and is not convenient."

"What are you talking about Don?" she asked confused.

"Well about what you know…" Don said, trying to avoid Mikey's inquisitive stare also starting to get a waft of Leo's scent. "Leo you need a shower now and a deodorant." he continued pulling her towards the bathroom.

She took it as a game and used his force to flip him. "Never thought _you_ would like to spar with me." she said pushing him to the ground. Don was now beet red with Leo over him it was then that Raphael stormed in followed by a hakama wearing rabbit. Not sure why but he suddenly felt terribly envious of Don and also yelled. 'T_hat definitely had not come from him.'_ "What the hell are you doing?"

Leonardo rose quickly. "Usagi-san. What a pleasure to have you honors us with your visit." she greeted, bowing slightly.

"My friend?" Usagi bowed noticing the glares he was receiving from the rest of the turtles.

"Am I interrupting...? Your master requested me to talk to you."

'_There goes my meditation time,_' she thought. "No. Just three turtles acting really weird." she answered, considering how they had behaved around her lately. "Let's head out, it might be contagious."

"Your master told me you might have had a traumatic experience."

"Well, apparently my brothers and I... and one of our allies were deactivating explosive devices all around the city yesterday and I was the one providing the numbers for reason I can not even phantom, and Don apparently heard a voice that reminded him of an enemy of ours and they were obviously worried about me and the catch is I don't remember a thing of the last 2 and so years."

"Sometimes the mind protects itself from the darkness." Usagi said noticing the bruise on her neck.

"Yeah we call it post-traumatic something… The odd part is that I should be concerned but..." to tell the truth she felt fine.

"Maybe your mind needs time to heal," Usagi offered. "After I lost my Lord, I could not remember the details for a long time."

"Yes, but no one died here, fortunately. I just have some bruises and that is it, had I really faced the Shredder I know I would have more evidence." she explained pointing at her shell. "And somehow I lost my swords… Again." she added, annoyed.

"You have not used the sword I gave you."

"It is a good sword but..." Why had not she used it? It looked cool on her room! _'Yes that was it.'_

"Yes. It is not your style. I have always wondered about your weapons" Usagi said.

"Twin ninjaken."

"It requires a lot of energy to fight in that style, doesn't it? But you are quite proficient with the one sword too."

"I have trained since I could walk. It's like a second nature."

"For a samurai the sword is his soul, so I have always wondered how two swords work. I don't think I am comfortable with the duality it implies." Usagi said noticing something about Leonardo had changed since their last meeting.

"I am not a samurai Usagi, I do what I can." she said a bit dejected. "My swords are a proof of that."

"Yes but a sword is…" Usagi started.

"Just as good as its wielder I know... but sometimes…" she replied pouring more tea.

"Leonardo, you are one of the most impressive warriors I have ever met, despite you being shinobi." Usagi said, unconsciously rubbing his left arm.

"You got injured?" Leonardo exclaimed, surprised.

"Yes, a devil kunoichi of the Cat Clan. I certainly wish to never face her again." Usagi said.

_'Kunoichi?_ For some odd reason, Leonardo had some interest on the topic. "Hard to fight?" she asked.

"They use deception as a second nature and that makes them both adorable and unpredictable creatures in a sense they remind me of you a bit."

"I am... adorable?" Leo said defensively.

"No…Unpredictable. Who would have thought I would enjoy spending time with a shinobi? In a sense, you are lucky you don't have females in your ranks, they can be pretty distracting." Usagi said.

"Like certain Noriyuki retainer that makes a samurai blush." Leo joked getting back at Usagi's comment.

"Tomoe-san, yes, but I don't indulge myself on empty fantasies. I already did that once and I am still paying the price" Usagi answered, remembering his first love now married to an adversary of his.

"But she does like you and you behave oddly around her." Leonardo said.

"Ame-san will marry whomever her Lord and family deem worthy, in the way of my world. A Ronin is hardly an appropriate suitor," Usagi said.

"You could join Noriyuki's service anytime,"

"So could you my friend. Why you remain in a world that would never accept you is other great mystery. My offer still stands." Usagi reminded the turtle, referring to an invitation he had made Leonardo of visiting his world. "I met a two sword master who would gladly take you as a pupil so you can improve your skill."

Leonardo sighed. "A samurai and a shinobi causing havoc, I don't think your world is prepared for that" Leonardo said, then after a short pause, she added: "I never did ask you, why you became a samurai?"

"As you say, we do what we can with what is given. I am from a samurai family as you are from a shinobi family. We never got to choose the way of the sword, but I don't see myself planting field or you as a merchant." Usagi said. "But you probably meant Ronin. I guess I am not ready to swear my allegiance to another Lord just yet. Politics can be a really tricky issue."

_'Way of the sword… interesting.'_ Leonardo felt those words had a new significance but could not remember.

Usagi noticed Leonardo had spaced out and tried to regain his attention when a harsh voice interrupted.

"Master Splinter send some sweets for you friend here." Raphael said glaring at Usagi and dropping the tray on the table brusquely.

"Thanks Raph," Leonardo said regaining her sense, a bit disconcerted, the words 'Not the way of the sword' resounding in her head.

"Your brother seems quite...protective of you lately." Usagi said once Raphael had left remembering the veiled warning Raphael had made to not 'tangle his brother in odd samurai stuff'.

"Yes. So I am not imagining things. "Leonardo said. "I guess I did worry them."

"Yes but they are acting like..." Usagi stopped dismissing it as absurd. 'They are courting you'… It would be inappropriate to mention it.

"I guess not remembering what happen for the last 2 years does give them a reason as apparently I sort of lashed at them yesterday or the day before. It's confusing." Leo explained almost painfully.

"Maybe you need some time for yourself?" Usagi suggested. "Consider my offer. At times having some moment away might help you clear your mind and heal you memory."

"Can't do that. Last time Karai nearly killed them, and if Ch'r... Ch'…" For some reason she could not pronounce it… "If the Shredder is back I cannot exactly take a vacation."

"A hero shinobi, unheard of." Usagi said worrying about a few quirks and details he had noticed on Leonardo's behavior. He then noticed the scroll on the wall. "What does that mean?" he said, suddenly interested.

"My name," she replied looking at the only evidence of her name in the room.

"Shouldn't it be reason… merciful… come next… leader" Usagi read, trying to remember his knowledge of the Japanese spoken in these lands.

"Now that you mention it, I think master Splinter was not really that good with kanji back then, can't blame him though he did learn a lot in a short period of time." Leonardo said looking at it.

"But still, the choice of kanji is not really... that is for slave?" Usagi said concerned as he recognized the others.

"Yes, imperial tomb... nothing... halt... slave or guy is weird, but I rarely use it as my name is not Japanese, so..."

"Odd indeed, my friend. Well I shall take my leave. I think you should rest for a while before attempting to face that enemy of yours again."

"Yes, nothing is worst that rush into battle unprepared. Thanks for your visit Usagi-san. It is always a pleasure to talk to you." Leonardo said.

"It is always a pleasurable stay but I will bid my farewells to your father, he said he wanted to talk to me."

"Anytime, I will be in the dojo meditating for a moment." she said.

* * *

**Author's notes:**

Once again thank to Lady-Kassy for her beta of this chapter.

Thanks again for your reviews.

Turtlegirl I will consider it but Mikey if kind of hard to write about so if get an idea I will work with it

Dozer I agree they did had birthdays and different dates however it was impossible for them to know the actual date, in any case would be the date of the mutation. However in the 2003 series they are more Japanese oriented and the birthday party concept is relatively new.The alien Shredder was still alive by the end of the 2003 series just in exile and considering he had escaped more times than Napoleon it is interesting what the Utroms thought about it.

They will find out eventually that Leo is a girl but thats the main awkward argument and right now only Don knows.

I got a review from a Leo girlfriend I am honored, been there girl Leonardo is cool anyway.

I took the information of Usagi from the wikipedia so if I made a mistake please correct me. I tried to make it as vague as possible. I don't know the exact matching of the time compared to the ninja turtles universe. Please let me know if I portrayed Usagi somehow accurate I only know him from the series but it seems like an interestig story.


	27. The Ronin and the Shinobi Part II

All TMNT characters are copyrighted by Mirage studios and were created by Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird. And this is a non-profit fanfic.

* * *

"Nothing a few stitches can not fix, I consider ourselves even now," she said breathing deeply and looking at Raphael's face recovering from her Ice Princess's glare.

* * *

**The Ronin and the Shinobi Part II**

The Ronin looked at the ninja master with a distrustful glare. To be completely honest, though he respected him, he did not trust him: the rat shinobi had always hidden a lot of things to his friend. _'Well they are shinobi after all.'_

He cleared his throat. "Leonardo-san is in a very delicate state of mind," he said. "Despite being probably your most advanced student, it is obvious it has taken his toll on him, and your other son's behavior is not favorable for him."

Splinter gave him an understanding gaze. "Yes, Leonardo has always carried a lot of pressure on his shoulders."

"I know it is not my place to talk for I am an outsider and my knowledge of your customs is quite limited, but I don't think their new interest in him is healthy at all... Someone like Leonardo can mislead a lot, particularly in such a close clan as yours and that can cause serious damages to your clan, and particularly to Leonardo." he said quite serious.

"Yes my sons have been quite odd around him lately," the concerned rat admitted. "I will talk to them."

"I would recommend him to take my advice to take some time off and rest, in my world or in the Battle Nexus. It is not convenient also for him to face his enemies soon. Leonardo is not someone to hide but he _is_ hiding. I cannot even begin to imagine what could have happen to him." Usagi said concerned.

"Yes it might be difficult but I will see what I can do." Splinter promised.

_'Really?'_ the Ronin thought, lifting his brow not really believing it. "His name is an issue too." Usagi continued narrowing his glare.

Splinter looked at him with a calculating glare, not revealing what he was thinking so Usagi made it clearer.

"I would not question your motives for choosing the letters for his name for I doubt it was an accident as he assumes." He explained glaring at the rat shinobi. "But it will harm him in the long run if it hasn't already. No one should have the kanji (Japanese letters) he has on his name. I am not superstitious but at least in my world they are taken seriously." He sighed. "I know I cannot understand your circumstances and my intruding is out of place, but is it really imperative for Leonardo to keep fighting?" he asked.

"If the Shredder is back, we won't have a choice," the rat answered sadly, ignoring the comment Usagi had made.

"I see... But Leonardo was still much of a child swordsman at the age he faced _your _enemy_,_" he stressed. "I was still under the tutelage of my master and I cannot imagine being burden as a shield and weapon of the clan at that age. I don't think he really managed to grow up properly and build his mental defenses. Besides, someone like Leonardo..." Usagi shook his head and added in an accusing tone: "Was it even wise for him to have the path of the sword imposed?"

"I tried to protect them but fate decided otherwise," Splinter said reluctantly. "He was too young to face such evil, but he came up well." He added in a dubious tone.

Usagi shook his head slightly in disagreement, remembering the last time he had been summoned to talk to Leonardo, and continued. "In a sense, Leonardo is a samurai in all except the name." Usagi said quite plainly. "The reasons for that are too deep for me to phantom as your other sons are not required to follow them but with his guilt-ridden personality it might turn dangerous." He remembered the way Leonardo behaved and his knowledge when a warrior as skilled as his friend were forced to those extremes: in the end they either abandoned the sword as Sanshobo, who became a monk after failing to his master and family, or became cynical as Gen who had lost faith and had become a mercenary. Or, in the worst cases, murderous as Jei and those dark spirits had possessed and therefore prone to their influence, like Inazuma. It was odd that suddenly his friend reminded him of that female warrior, which was weirder again for, a while earlier, he had reminded him of a kunoichi cat. _'Why?'_ he thought, possession being one of the things on his mind.

* * *

Leonardo was trying to meditate in the dojo unsuccessfully, there seemed to be a wall surrounding him each time he tried and, no matter what she did, it would not let her through. Moreover, the fact her brain kept insisting on referring to herself as a she was beginning to be troubling. The moment she stood up to pick a weapon from the stand to practice a kata, she was brusquely interrupted by Raphael who basically pushed her away.

"No you don't" he yelled.

Leo gave Raphael and interested glare. "No I don't what?" she asked.

"No weapons for you," Raphael commanded. "It's enough you are... wacko without them."

Leonardo sighed annoyed. _'Well there were not even swords there.'_ "Raph, I can take care of myself." she said crossing her arms wondering why they were suddenly interested on her... him, _'Again?'_ And also worried that she had not perceived Raphael at all, which was truly depressing.

"Yeah we saw how well ya take of yourself again!" He spat pushing her.

Leonardo sighed; it was unusual for Raphael to recur to that beating she had taken long ago, but… "Well, excuse me but as far as I remember, this time I managed to bring myself back in one piece and I am not badly injured so I don't think you can question my ability on this."

"You call that not remembering a thing and acting all wacko well, Fearless? Sorry to bring you from your freakin' cloud nine, but you are way too..."

"Manners!" She spat interrupting wondering where that had come from.

Raphael had not intended to fight Leonardo but it was an inherent ability.

"You want to fight Raph?" She asked quite annoyed. "Well then. Let's go for it! It seems to be the only thing that gets to that thick skull of yours."

Raphael looked at her noticing the bruise on her neck. He had spend some time trying to question stray Foot soldiers but without Leo doing the interrogations, it had ended in a skull busting, Foot were hard to break for the punishment was way higher. He still was not fully recovered: he had run as far as the Shellcycle could go but, in the end, he had been unable to reach the building before Donnie and could just stare at the blazing top of the building as he was stopped by a police barricade. Splinter had gathered them all in the garage, trying to come up with a sort of strategy, but Raph had just stormed out trying to beat some Foot scums to get information. Even he was not as reckless to try busting into the Foot quarters alone, though he was tempted. Very tempted.

Don's word had been anything but reassuring as he could swear he had heard the Shredder's voice in the background of Leo's last call. But if that was the case, the probability of Leonardo being alive dimmer a lot by the second and Don was practically catatonic.

It was a fortune Leatherhead was with Mike, for Mike was also too shocked. And when he had come home and found Mike and Don snuggled near Leo, and though for some reason he just wanted to push them away, he could not find it in his heart to do it. Leonardo was curled on the couch, soundly asleep, undisturbed, with several bruises and some minor cuts that had already stopped bleeding but the blood spattered on her face and plastron was as disturbing as the absence of swords. He was relieved but he also was furious for Leo to put them through that, to hold everything to herself, and to these emotions she had managed to awaken in him which he could not understand. Did not want to actually. So he did what his mind used as self defense and he fought back.

He threw the first punch trying to get to the ground he was used to with Leonardo: he was unable to make him laugh with Mikey's attics, he could not engage in long and entertaining conversations as Don did, but he could spar with Leo! He could fight, losing and getting blowing steams was the only way to reach Leonardo, that elusive creature he sometimes called brother but who, in reality, had always been a stranger for a long time.

Leonardo avoided the punch with ease, giving him a calculating stare. How he hated that! That gaze devoid of emotion that put Leonardo above them. If not for anything else, that gaze had probably earned Leonardo the leader's seat, something Raphael thought he always strove to obtain. "Why did you have to return?" he murmured. "Two years, Leonardo! Two years! And you expect everything to fit."

"I went training. Well, that's what I think I did." she replied taking a defensive stance, having heard the words Raph had muttered.

"The first year probably but what about second? Why did you finally decide to run away? You just abandoned us."

Leo gave him a deep glare and sighed: she could not remember so she could not reply.

"You know what that did to Mikey? To Don? To Father? Do you even have the slightest idea?" Raph spat throwing another punch.

Leonardo did a quick flip and avoided it again. "I must have had a reason Raph." she said not believing it herself. It actually bothered her quite a bit now that she though about it.

"Yes and then you just show up, arrogant as always, expecting us all to fall in line." He missed another punch. "You know what? We were fine without you!"

"You don't really mean that Raph." She said trying to close his tirade unsuccessfully.

"The Foot did not even bother with us! It seems your crush lost interest. Yes! Only with _you_ on charge do we pose a threat apparently. Those bastards!" he said trying to connect a punch, this time nearly grazing her shoulder.

"What do you expect me to tell you Raph? Sorry for being a harbinger of trouble?" She retorted starting to lose her patience. "Sorry for carrying my duty and facing the Foot? Is that what you want?"

"Maybe you should have taken their job offer. That way you would have avoided us all the troubles!" Raph spat even angrier at not being able to touch the blue clad turtle. Angry at his own lack of skill.

"Right!" She said sarcastically. "Anything more Raph? Just what do you expect from me?" she questioned annoyed.

"Nothing more than you keep away from me! To leave Don alone! To stop driving me crazy!" He yelled.

"What the shell are you talking about?" Leo asked, indignant. "You know what, Raph? Yesterday I probably hit your head harder than I thought."

"You and Don… It is just... disgusting!" he said, finally connecting a punch that send Leo to the ground as she had failed to move swift enough due to the pain on her neck and ended with Raph over her pining her to the ground.

Leo closed her eyes bracing for the punch she expected but felt chills when Raph froze as he saw the expression on Leo's face and he sighed, just giving her a deep glare as he suddenly lost his drive to fight and put his hand on her face almost gently. "You wouldn't smile for me, would you?" he begged.

"Get off me Raph!" She said, feeling uncomfortable by the look on Raph's eyes and the palm on her cheek.

Raph just stared at her. "Why am I not good enough?" he asked suddenly dejected _'Of course I'm not..._ _Wait! Good for what?'_ he thought alarmed '_I just did not consider that! For that would be wrong in so many levels!' _Raph growled feeling defeated.

"I said get off!" She repeated, finally throwing him and standing up.

The entire ruckus had summoned the remaining turtles and even Splinter and Usagi.

"Master Splinter," she started before Splinter could reprimand her. "You are right: I am not fit to lead this team anymore. And the worst part is that I am not sure I even want to." she said leaving to her room, caressing her neck. "Usagi-san, sorry. I am not feeling that right after all." she added in Japanese.

Donatello, furious, headed to face the now startled Raph. "What the shell do you think you are doing, moron? Trying to kill he.. him?"

Raph was not even answering back as shocked as he was with his new discovery.

"ENOUGH!" Splinter said calling both of them to order. "You will both leave Leonardo alone! Is that understood?"

"Yes, master!" They both replied glaring at each other.

Usagi glared at the rat who answered as he headed to the portal. "Yes, Miyamoto-san. I will consider your offer. Maybe my son does need sometime for himself."

**Author's note:**

Thanks again to Lady-Kassy for her beta of this chapter

Thanks again for you reviews.

Turtlegirl, ManicFanFicHunter I am sorry this fic seem to be detrimental to your and your computer health. Hope both of you are OK.

Notes about written japanese

Japanese has two phonetic alphabets: hiragana and katakana (foreign sounds) and kanji which originally came from Chinese logograms or ideograms (idea giving symbols) with the Chinese reading and were later adapted for Japanese word readings what is called onyomi. Nowadays though the way Chinese people and Japanese people write still resemble, they have parted ways for the simplified versions. Foreign names obviously were not considered but can be written using a phonetic spelling although there is a standard convention of how to write them that varies from Chinese (according to the calligrapher) to Japanese. There is a sort of official list but you can play with the symbols to get cool meanings in your name.


	28. The turtle and the puzzle

All TMNT characters are copyrighted by Mirage studios and were created by Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird. And this is a non-profit fanfic.

* * *

"_You aren't asking about Leo?" he retorted miserably._

* * *

**The turtle and the puzzle**, a puzzled turtle

Leonardo was sitting in her room again, and she wanted to break everything. She already felt anxious for her lack of swords but controlled her breath to calm down. Whatever Raphael had meant and Don's attitude disturbed her deeply. _'They are acting as though the own me_', it was bad enough he… she… _Agh!_ spend most of her life protecting them, now he had too watch them too. '_Just my day… I even got demoted…_' Just what else could go wrong? Now she was thinking about it, a lot of things could. Renet could show up and that gave her chills so she decided she should stop complaining. Actually she felt some relief as if a heavy burden had been lifted from her, but as though it was still hanging menacing with its weight, everything could drop all of a sudden again.

"Just what have I been up to?" she asked herself. "Let's start… I was supposed to go on a leader's training for a year or so… Well at least that was the excuse Splinter had come up with. Don never bought it, Raphael thought it a waste of time but kept saying how much he was not going to miss me and Mikey… he said something about piranhas." The truth was that she was also supposed to find the whereabouts of the Ancient One to solve her increasing rift with her sensei and spend some time traveling in the world…

"Kryptonite, yeah!" she sang. Considering that last time they had seen him he was flying to the Heavens accompanied by the ninja tribunal, it was not that likely. _'Did I find him?_' she wondered. 'W_ho knows_?' It was times like this she wished to have continued the diary she had started when she was learning writing Japanese, but after they had started fighting, and even before..._ Shinobi don't exactly record things as they become an evidence of their existence and shinobi were shadows and shadows don't write diaries._ And considering her brothers, she did not really need one to be blackmailed with by Mikey about her… his inner thoughts. _'Creepy.' _She forgot about the diary and looked around her room. _So, instead of one year; I was out for two and had returned reluctantly… Why would I do that?' _she wondered. _'Well it's not as if I had been thrilled to return from the Ancient One, kind of hoped to stay longer actually._'

She sighed, it could not be helped, the timing was right, back from the future. Karai had sort of left them be… Well, facing an undead army does change one's perspectives. _If the tribunal had held that demon on a leash for 3000 years, why had it to be us..._? _We sort of were involved in freeing him._ She thought, ashamed. _Great heroes! We unleash the evil and then restraint it._ She smacked herself for a very good reason. _So I return, __I look at a newspaper cut that talked about monsters lose in Manhattan__…Must have something to do with that 'I got captured after a fight with Raph?_' She thought surprised. '_Wait! I lost a fight with Raph after my return and got captured… That is just so lame. My training must have sucked so I probably didn't find the Ancient One or for some reason he had turned me down.'_ For some reason she did not want to know. '_Well the tribunal had never been too impressed with me so I would not blame him._' she felt dejected. _So I come home a year later we prevent another catastrophe…_

She looked at the books on the shelves: Reptilian Biology, Biology, Biology for Dummies, Dictionary… 'I _got interested in biology? Why would I do that?' _she wondered, intrigued. She could tell the books were brand new, which was odd and besides, she noticed they had some markings: Anatomy, Gender Differences of the Trachemis Scripta Elegans; Courtship... She would go back to those later. _The next part I changed the covers…_ _Chemistry for dummies? And the art of poison? I got a creepy hobby relating poisons?_ Actually some of those books where Don's, so whatever she was up to, Don knew. But she was not going to ask him right now. Maybe later. She moved the books forward and found some implements for actually making the said poisons. '_That is unusual, even for me._' She thought alarmed. _Are those Neko-te?!_ (iron nails) She also looked at them surprised _'Why do I have kunoichi weapons now?'_

"Leo…? May I come in?" She heard Mike approaching, cautiously limping and put everything back the way it was.

"Mikey... Hi! How is everything? Your foot…"

"Master Splinter told me to bring your food here."

"I guess I am also grounded." She sighed. "Mikey! Your foot! I am sorry." she said again, taking the tray.

"I am Ok, dude. It's only the toe and it's not broken, and it was Raph's fault, not yours. The cast, it's just because Don is paranoid."

"I heard that!" Don complained from the door

"I really made a mess, right?" She asked, noticing the way Mike was averting her gaze.

"No... But master Splinter thinks you need some space right now." Mike answered. "So, take all you need."

Mikey? Being reasonable? She really had messed things up. "I am sorry for everything." She repeated. _'Whatever that is.'_

"Dude, you prevented us from being blown to pieces. It is just... You won't leave us again right?" he asked, not lifting his gaze. "We... I missed you this last week."

"Talk for yourself." Raphael spat from the aisle.

"Mikey..." She wanted to reassure him. _'Blown to pieces?'_ But that was not for her to decide now. To tell the truth, she would really like to take Usagi's offer: to leave to a world where she'd not fear to be hunted down by Bishop or the Foot, where she could go to a store and buy things without every customer yelling '_Monster!_' To rest in the sun for a while… She had enjoyed their time in the future, except for the always lingering feeling that they had to go back. It was not their time; therefore staying was out of the question. She'd love to sign in for college to pursue an education, so she would not look at Don, always puzzled… Well, she would not get that in Usagi's world but at least she would be able to train with a new teacher who did not expected her... him to save the world too... She closed that line of though. That was not her life, so she should not waste time on those ludicrous thoughts. That was why she needed the time off in the first place and apparently it had not worked.

"Mikey..." She said again before being brusquely interrupted by Raph's harsh voice in the corridor "Mikey!"

Mikey left reluctantly, still limping, not even noticing Leo had snatched his shellcell.

She did not know how but she knew for a fact that her Shellcel had been destroyed. How or when, she could not tell. So once her brothers were out of the picture, she dialed the frequency for someone who might give her straight answers. Having an extra escape route on her room she had never mentioned about because it required a lot of ninja skills. Her skills to get through did have some advantages after all.

* * *

"April?" She called in a low tone hoping her father and brothers had kept her out of his recent outburst.

"Leo!" April replied relieved. "I knew you were back, but we were so worried. I mean, no one would tell us a thing..."

"Sorry about that!" Leo said grinning happy to find a reliable source of information.

"So do you need anything? Are you Ok? I mean you're not still 100 per cent back in shape right?"

"April I need to talk to you." Leo interrupted. _'So I was sick?_'

"I will drop by." April said.

"No I don't think that is a good idea." She retorted, remembering her odds of having a sort of private conversation on the lair were equal to zero.

"You haven't pick up your things." April reminded her. "I will take them to you."

"My things?" Leo asked. '_Why are my things at April's home?' _Wait she had stayed with April's because... That would have been extremely irresponsible on her part. Not that the Foot needed a reason to barge into April's house again. _'I was sick and with April for a week and that is supposed to make sense…'_

"Leo are you alright?" April asked after the long pause.

"I will be at your place in 20 minutes." She had to go before her father and brothers got to April or she wouldn't have any reliable information.

"I am at Casey's, I am still not comfortable enough there." April informed her.

* * *

She looked at her room and placed some things to make it looks as she was sleeping. Well, her sensei had told her... him to try to remember so it would not be exactly disobedient on her part, right? She looked under the bed to take her subway tickets as she put a coat from the vault and found a pouch instead. She opened it, interested. _'Jewels? And money?'_ Just what had she been up to was suddenly a question she was not sure she wanted answered.

She wanted to call April again to cancel the whole thing. April was probably under surveillance, but in the other hand she sort of knew they would leave them alone for the moment. _How do I know that?_ She asked herself. She just did.

Going to the surface during the day was one of the things she usually avoided but, well, she had no other choice. She obviously looked odd in such a heavy garment, considering it was the middle of the summer but with the Rastafarian wig and long sleeve attire she wore, she just had to keep her head low to avoid the cameras. It was fortunate people avoided staring at each other in New York to avoid trouble and with the aspect she had, she probably screamed trouble but not enough to be questioned by police, thanks to the privacy acts.

She rang the bell in the hallway, after having made sure that the neighboring rooftops where not under surveillance, and entered through the back door of the building, using the key Casey had long ago given her for the times she had to come to pick up Raph, whenever he was too wasted to go back by himself. Funny enough Raph did not have one. Casey was always wary around Leo and they respected each other, particularly since Leo had made pretty clear to him what would happen to certain masked vigilante if he dared hurt certain red-haired girl's feelings after they started hanging up. She respected said red-haired decision as any mature older brother would and had even asked Casey's help one day she felt like busting purple Dragon heads. They obviously had never conversed much but they respected and acknowledged each other as important in the red-haired life. She considered talking to Casey about not waiting forever on proposing to said red-haired or big brother might interpret it the wrong way. But she chuckled. _Now I include April among my wards..._ It was amusing unthinkable years ago when she was appointed leader.

* * *

April opened the door and upon recognizing her, gave her a big hug then let her inside.

"Leo, we were so worried! When the building exploded we thought..." April was on the verge of tears.

_'A building exploded? No_ _wonder they were worried_. _And I was supposed to be there and with a Shredder of some kind? Just, what have I been up to?'_

"Listen, April!" Leo said clearly. "I am having some little gaps on my memory right now." '_Yes! Two years and half and counting, nothing major…'_ "And I need you to be as clear and specific as you can regarding yesterday and some days previous to that."

"Whatever you need Leo, you know you can count on me." April said. "I have the full day off. And, well, after Don deactivated the bomb at my place... I didn't even want to pick up the party stuff…"

'_There was bomb at your place and my family was there? Mikey would say it was a blast.'_ Leo gave her a reassuring pat on the shoulder, also trying to reassure herself.

"Why did you suddenly leave?" April asked. "I mean, after I gave you my watch, you just… puffed."

_'And I was there too? Interesting.' _Leo thought. _I owe April a wrist watch._ "I was sick right?" Leo said. "Do you remember if I got into a fight or something?"

"No you got an infection of some kind. Don would not be very specific but you needed some place cleaner than the lair, so I offered my place."

"April, I don't want to sound ungrateful, but… Why was I at your place?"

"Leo, you were really sick! And with that I mean feverish and even unconscious. I don't think they even asked you. And besides the fact you were a great help with the inventory, I really don't regret having you here for a while at all… I mean how much safer can you feel than with a master swordsman in your basement?"

_'Yes… Safe… Like the time the Foot blew your home! I really can't rely on their common sense and where was mine to allow them to do that?'_ she admonished herself. "Ok, so I left the party without telling anyone, took your watch after being in your house on sick leave for a week and made a call sometime afterwards, giving you number codes to deactivate bombs all around the city…" Leonardo said. "Anything more you remember? Something unusual about me... And what time was that?"

April looked at Leo. "Well, you sort of left the previous night for several hours... now that you mention it, you said it was a practice run but you managed to upset us all."

"I am sorry about that." _'And I was irresponsible too on top of it, considering how well some practice runs of me go not to mention on convalescence and alone without telling anyone… Just great, Leonardo! Your training was superb!' _

"Leo?" April called noticing she had spaced out. "It was 8:45 pm. I remember looking at the clock. You were about to give us a big announcement of sorts…"

"What about?" Leo asked.

"Dunno. But it had been eating you for a while, about not being yourself, I mean. Don even announced you so he must know." April answered focusing on her friend. There was something different from Raph and Donnie but she could not tell what. Leo removed the scarf as if it was getting really hot.

"At the hour of the dog... The fireworks will begin if the lone... It's not as the pig squeals?" she said. "Does that mean anything to you; April?"

"Never heard that before"

Leo sighed.

"I am sorry Leo. I am really sorry. You must have been worried because Casey introduced the code wrongly…"

"What?" Leo exclaimed. _'I included you and Casey in the bomb deactivation? Just what the shell was I thinking?'_ a voice in her head resounded_**. 'Don't thank the heavens that one was a dud?'**_ _'Whose voice was that?'_ Leo could not even tell the gender and he was feeling sick.

"Are you sure you are Ok Leo?" April said noticing the expression on Leo's face.

"It's nothing. It's just that I am surprised at the lack of judgment I was displaying. What was I doing? Where was I back then?" Leo was quite disappointed at herself.

"I am not sure Leo. Don said it was the Saki memorial theater. For some reason you were inside the theater deactivating devices too. Actually you deactivated most of them."

Casey arrived and looked at his friend on the table with April talking seriously and decided to give them space and headed to the small living room and turned the TV.

"Hi! Case" Leo greeted almost absentmindedly as she was trying to assemble the pieces of this complicated puzzle. "What else?"

"Well, after we deactivated the final one, we went to get the chopper to speed the process and, when I picked Don, he received a call from you. Don swore he had heard the Shredder's voice in the background, but he was just trying to convince you to escape so we headed that way using the tracking device on your cell and Mikey saw you on TV." April explained. _'What a great shinobi I make.'_ Leo thought, hoping they had gotten only a brief glimpse. "But by the time we arrived, the top floor had blasted and some other buildings around. It was declared to be electrical fire but, I mean, the people was really scared so we had to get from there quickly so the chopper would not be... I am sorry we could not help you."

"Well, I am fine so maybe I was not there." Leo said half hearted.

April nodded.

"April I have a question. Do you, by any chance, know anything of my trip to Central America?" she asked.

"Well, aside that you stop writing, that I found you by chance on a trip of mine and that you were playing the jungle ghost there... You did not seem eager to return, by the way. You surprised me quite a bit."

"Jungle ghost?" Leo repeated cautiously.

"Well fatasma jugla something... My Spanish sucks." April admitted.

"Fantasma de la jungla." Leo corrected. "And what was I doing?" The words_ The Iosua Queme of the Chuchaviva_... _Death Goddess_... rang in her mind without her knowing where it came from. _**'How much have you told them?**_' Again that creepy voice.

"Leo, do you feel alright?" April said again slowly, something she had read and the conversation with Don adding to something in her mind as she looked at the top of Leo's plastron now visible without the scarf.

"Well you basically protected the neighboring villages from thugs and such?" _Should I mention it?_ April wondered.

"I was playing vigilante?" Leo exclaimed out of surprise.

"Well... you could say that." April said, remembering Don's retort: _'You aren't asking about Leo?'_ coming to a shocking conclusion which she would have to discuss with Don first, but they were suddenly interrupted by Casey.

"Leo you got to see this." He yelled.

Leo and April went to see the program where they were talking about the new Alien sighting and… warning of a new invasion? Aliens going on a date? Even aliens recognize a good chef? That displayed a repetition of the recording from a mobile phone taken two days ago where a caped being discarded the cape and revealed to be no other than herself heading to fight the Foot ninja. A lot of them.

"There went stealth…" She said sitting heavily near Casey before she started feeling a great need for air take control of her lung as well as a pounding headache and flashes of memories crossing her mind. Some not very worldly thoughts that felt as real as the image in the screen. She lowered her gaze to her hands. "Six fingers? Odd." she said and then began whispering in a foreign language. "Don't pursue this... Don't pursue this."

April was looking at Leo concerned when she received a shellcell call.

"April, is Leo with you?" Don asked, he had been worried after they had found out Leo was not in her room anymore and were still trying to find out how she had evaded one shinobi master and three supposedly trained ninjas.

"Yes he is right... here." April said. "Leo... Leo...? I don't think he is feeling well... He just saw himself on TV." she finished lowering her voice.

"We'll be right there and if Leo starts giggling or singing just get away from h... him." Don warned.

* * *

_Leonardo was looking with contempt at the dark tone Utrom in his exosuit on the ground, defeated, with the plate smashed at her feet and then at her own gray skin holding a pair of weapons pointing at the now defenseless creature to finally look at the dark fire that creature's eyes held. Eyes that mirrored the anger she had knowing herself the last once of her species, feeling alive for the first time in her life during that combat._

"_A fragmented soul? Seems your last life's deeds really messed you up, Nameless One, along with your consciousness." she said pulling back her swords. "You used to be taller and to appear… I don't know… less icky... The cycles tend to do funny things." She mocked, motioning him to stand and sheathing her weapons. "I will say this once, take it or leave it. We have a common goal in this life, though our motives might be different, we can use each other to bring down those spineless bastards who claimed to be allies of my people. As for you motives... I can live with them."_

_He gave her an odd glare. _'Insane!'_ he was probably thinking. Other races' beliefs were the result of their less evolved mind and had been all he had learned. But what did Utroms know about the ways of the universe? She was used to it, having received it from her own people, the people __she was now bound to avenge._

_She glared at him with her impossible obsidian eyes. "Don't be mistaken! We are enemies, will probably always be, but your incomplete self is not a worthy opponent. I would not disgrace myself with such an easy win, so I will defy fate and delay our dance for now... But one day my dragon will make you whole again. That I swear to you." And with that she cut her hand a bit, pressing it against the sharp part of her weapon, and put it over the Utrom's eye, forever marking him with her caustic blood as a symbol of their unlikely alliance._

* * *

On the Foot building, an odd ceremony was taking place directed by an even odder creature the Shredder had brought with him and who was wrapped in a cape.

Ch'rell still had the tattoo burn over his eye and had always thought it the deranged rambling of the annoying creature that had become more than an expendable general to him: the closest a being from another species could get to him, a partner, an equal, to his own surprise. Those words were never mentioned again.

It was not until she was lost to him in the unending battle against the Council, thanks to a traitor among the lines of his own species, who decided his obsession with a non Utrom creature was disturbing, after his escape from his second sentence of retraining, the fall on Earth, swearing vengeance on the Council and all his race that he claimed the Shredder's name and the Name Oroku Saki and all things related and then centuries later while he made plans once he had been freed from the exile his own race had imposed, thanks to those troubling Earth turtles as he made his great conquest plans, one day, all of a sudden, he felt complete again. Fully alive again, for the second time in his life, with the vision of a blue dragon (on Earth lore) creature that called him back to Earth. Her words long ago forgotten began to make sense. Everything, except it was not a she... Not a life bringer and oddly enough that had bothered him quite a bit before to pursue but not enough as the creature became more annoying.

After numerous failed clone experiments, maybe this was his chance. He did not understand the principle nor did he care of the price.

"Father?" Karai begged looking at the broken katanas in the middle of the ceremony and at the Utrom's obsessed behavior. "Let the turtles go. This is absurd and not honorable."

"It will end soon." He said, ignoring her. "And I will be able to go on finally either way."

"I lost it again." The creature told him. "The vessel is adequate but there is something interfering. It might be necessary to bring the vessel and actually force the host in a more direct approach." The covered creature warned.

"You know the price of failure." The Utrom threatened.

"Don't threaten me!" The creature said annoyed, tapping the ground revealing a time scepter. "I am also interested in this affair."

* * *

**Author's notes**

Thanks again to Lady-Kassy for her beta, I don't think I would have made it this far without her help.

Thanks for all your reviews.

The header is not a mistake, but header information is header information to be addressed in the future this chapter is an example.

How much more well from chapter 19 onwards it has been material I had thought but not written about so I am also surprised, pleasantly, I never thought it will be this long when I wrote it as a one shot, haven't gotten bored yet, but it will wrap into something not many chapters from now don't worry I still have the threads of this story on grip. I am still waiting for the conclusions of some fics that have been around longer. This thing is now larger than my thesis and has had definitely more readers.

Mikey is not as clueless or unaffected as he looks but he does not have to rationalize everything like Don, nor has a major behavior issue like Raph who is in constant turmoil with his emotions. Mike simply accepts things on hunches being the untrained psychic of the group, is more open on his feelings or in this case has found an scape goat (Chapter24) and also being the smallest in size by instinct he would back off a little I mean Raph and Don are already at each others throats and both of them are much taller than him.

There is a cool fic called too much, never enough that blends Kryptonite by 3 doors down with Leonardo attitude towards training is cool, so I could not resist including it with the Kryptonyte reference. I would love to see an AMV of the cgi movie with that song one of this days as the song fits Leonardo's character and the original videoclip of the song is not that good but the song is.


	29. Insanity?

All TMNT characters are copyrighted by Mirage studios and were created by Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird. And this is a non-profit fanfic.

* * *

"So, Renet, what is the deal with you? Why us? And don't play dumb with me." Leonardo said to the Time Mistress as they gathered food, having lost the day's game of who is putting up with Renet today.

"Dunno... What the elders think... but I am trying to find out something about you turtles." she answered. "But don't worry; the odds of any of you being special are slim at best."

* * *

**Insanity?** a matter of perspective

Raph and Don were at the kitchen table glaring at each other while having lunch with their father who sat, looking at them sternly, not sure how to talk to tell them about his decision regarding Leonardo.

"Father, you are not sending Leo away, are you?" Don asked, not lifting his gaze.

Splinter nodded thinking of the appropriate words.

"AGAIN!" Growled Raphael. "You are no seriously sending him to that... Usagi, are you Father?" Raphael spat downright jealous. '_That wasn't him._' he mourned miserably.

The rat replied, meeting Raphael glance with his master stature. "Leonardo has temporarily been... It is obvious to all of us your brother is no condition to put up with any stress for the moment and I am considering sending him away for while... for both his and our sake."

"But... Father... if he is unwell, it does not make sense to send him away. It is not like it is contagious?" Don said. "He is already over the infection, he is just confused. But it's Leo… he'll just bounce back and everything will be fine."

Splinter shook his head. "He is... not currently fit to lead... and I am not sure he will ever be again, he needs time and we need time too, Leonardo can't fight now and we risk him to lash again. It seems your brother has been keeping too much to himself again so I doubt any of us is going to reach him."

"Back to South America, Africa or maybe the Nile." Don said sarcastically. "It is not as if you could send him to the Ancient One. And even if you could, he would just become even more alienated to this family than he is already. But, well, is not like we can institutionalize him or send him to a shrink or anything. And we are his family."

"Did any of you heard the words Leonardo said?" Splinter reminded them.

The two turtles looked at each other. None of them had fully understood everything but had gotten the hist of it. "It was my mistake to believe I could train him. I thought he had solved his turmoil during his last absence." Splinter admitted. "I have always burdened Leonardo with your safety but I never... imagined he felt that way towards the path I chose for him."

"You mean your perfect son hates us? Just great." Raph said.

"Raphael enough." Splinter commanded. "Your attitude towards Leonardo concerns me quite a bit. I know you are young and confused but... your brother is not."

"Don't look at me...Tell that to brainiac there." Raph replied, not even bothering to deny it, standing and pointing at the seated Don, glaring at him.

"Repeat that, idiot! _I_ am not the one picking a fight with he..r...e here." Don said standing, defiant, and returning the glare.

Mikey felt at lost at this conversation as he limped back to Leo's room as he had forgotten to give her the soda a while back and he yelled from Leo's room as he found a letter that said: _'I'll be right back!'_ on the tray and she had not even eaten. "Dudes sorry to interrupt whatever you are discussing but Leo is not here anymore."

"He would not have gone to continue the fight with the Foot right?" Raph asked.

"Not without swords! Sh… Leo in not as reckless as you." Don answered still glaring at Raph.

"Yes? Well I am not the one picking fights with Foot, brainy FYI. Leo in not precisely his normal self right now." Raph retorted.

* * *

Leo finally came back. It was as though she had been sleeping hearing April's voice.

"Leo...? Leo?"

She looked at April with a curious glare, as if she was looking at her for the first time in her life.

"April... Sorry. I think I..." She shook her head. "Haven't sleep much lately, I guess I will go home." She turned her head to a sad looking plant Casey had on the table. "You got a feisty one." She started, looking at it amused and, standing up, she looked at the plant, interested. "April... She is complaining about Casey's care here." She giggled. "She says that if Casey continues drowning her, she will haunt his sister for having given it to him in the first place."

"Leo?" Casey said wary, trying to remember how that plant had arrived there... On his mother's last visit from his sister. How could Leo know?

"The poor thing says it is not a favorable environment for you either." She added, looking at Casey. "People yell and scream around here all the time, even plants feel it, food rots prematurely here this is a sick building." Leo explained removing some dead leaves. "Its oppressive... well the cities are like this."

April and Casey gave Leo worried looks.

"Can I take it?" Leo asked. "You don't really want this one mad at you; do you?"

"Leo" Casey called again. "Eh... It's... er… Alright, the plant is yours…"

"It cannot be mine. It's a living thing, even if it is not so sentient they are not possession. You can not own life, you just are entrusted with it for a while. Even your own." she replied quite sternly.

"Whatever you say Leo…" Casey said looking at Leo's eyes that seem to be somewhere else quite far from there.

"It does not like me either, can't blame it" she spoke sadly, removing another dead twig. "But it likes you April." she told the red headed girl; handing it to her. "It says that it wants you to take it and its unworthy owner with you on your care."

April looked at Casey "Is that true?"

"Well yeah... babe you know I am nothing without you." Casey confessed, not knowing exactly what to think of Leo's behavior. '_Had Leo just given him his blessing?'_ he wondered, bringing out his mother's engagement ring out. '_Now or never.'_

"Well see you, lovebirds, gotta go." Leo said, finishing trimming the plant and giving it to April. "It would bloom soon if you only water it twice a week and place it in the sun. Casey, you really should consider moving out of here, it is not a nice... environment," she told her putting the scarf and heading out.

* * *

April and Casey were all over each other when the rest of the turtles arrived.

"Ahem?" Raph interrupted, entering through the unlocked door and blushed in a deep purple, closing it again. "Is Leo here?"

"He just left." A blushing April said.

Casey looked dumbfounded.

"He just proposed!!" April exclaimed, as she was excited and showed Raph the ring and kissed Casey. "You devil! How did you convince Leo to help you?" April asked, rearranging her blouse.

"It is just me, ya know how convincing I can be." Casey replied, unsure what to think but happy anyway.

"Well my place then." April said. "He... is right. This place sucks and we don't need to pay extra for this run down place." she said. "Gotta go. I really need to clean my place." She added taking the plant. She met Don on the aisle way. "Don! We need to talk later about that confused teen you know." she told him; then gave him a light kick on the plastron. "My house is clean, right?"

"Yes." Don answered. "LH checked it yesterday."

Casey gave Raph a deep glare "What is up with Leo?"

"It's what we are trying to find out, Case." Raph replied. "Did he... threaten you?"

"No. It's just I had never seen him so… unlike him." Casey said. "I mean, he looked so... distant and since when does he talk to plants?"

"What?!" Raph exclaimed, out of surprise.

"Yeah. I mean, it's the only way he could know about that plant." Casey explained as soon as April left. "Something is up, right?" Casey asked; looking at Raph's sinking glare. "Need help?"

"I don't know anymore Case, I don't know" Raph said sadly.

"I will help you look for him. I mean, he could not have gone too far."

"No Case. We will figure it out. Where did he left to?"

"He did not say. Probably he went back home." Casey offered. "Man, if you need anything…"

"Yes, Case, we'll call."

"Leo is gone." He told the also disguised Don, pushing him.

The 3 turtles look at each other at the van as they meditated what to do. "Ideas?" Mikey asked.

"Maybe he went back." Don said, not convinced.

"To where, Einstein?" Raph spat.

"I mean, this is Leo! The responsible one!" Mikey said. "Where else would he go?"

None of them wanted to think of the many alternatives.

Don received a call on his shellcel. "My sons, you brother is back. Return to the lair!"

* * *

When they arrived, Leonardo was still knelt, receiving the reprimand of her life. _So much for sneaking back,_ she thought wincing at her… his father's glare.

"Leonardo what were you thinking?!" Splinter asked quite sternly.

"Well father you wanted me to... find out" She muttered. "You never said I was grounded or any..." she sighed and lowered her gaze.

Splinter sighed. Of course Leonardo would find small gaps in his orders. "But leaving in the middle of the day… Just what is with you my son?"

Leonardo sighed no wanting to answer back.

"You could have hurt Miss O'Neill and Mr Jones" Splinter said.

"What? I will never." Leonardo retorted.

"Are you sure Leonardo? Because I am no so certain about anything about you anymore my son." Splinter said now softening his tone. "Maybe you need time with the Ancient One. Is it you want, my son? Tell me."

"And you just assumed, Father, the Ancient One would even care to take me again." Leonardo spat sadly, feeling range accumulating on her and said rather bitterly: "He would not waste his time with me..." She put her hand on her mouth.

"Leonardo?" Splinter was surprised. Another thing she had kept to herself. "What happened with the Ancient One?"

Leonardo replied "I dunno, Father. I honestly can not remember but I feel I am more of a disappointment you imagine." She said cryptically, not even understanding it herself, the memory flashes she had experienced in April's home still fresh on her mind: _'Fraternizing with the enemy and THAT enemy, just great Leonardo, just great._' "But I am sorry, for endangering our allies. It will not happen again." she bowed and rose, leaving to her room.

"You will not leave to the surface until further notice, is that understood?" Splinter told her as he did not want to continue this discussion in front of the others. "And you will not handle weapons either."

She just bowed; feeling the words _yours is not the way of the sword_ ringing on her ears, not meeting his brothers' stares on the hallway.

"Father! That was unfair!" Don said. "Leo did not do anything wrong. April and Casey are fine."

"Donatello I also need to speak with you. Alone" Splinter said rather sternly, looking at Raphael and Mikey. "Later. I will meditate for now."

"Yes father" Don replied, hoping he would be able to talk to Leonardo first.

* * *

**Author's notes**

Thanks again to Lady Kassy for her beta.

Thanks to you for your reviews this has turn into a massive story after all, thanks for bearing with me.

Note most of the chapters are referenced so I might retake something I mentioned in a previous chapter, as a sort of Hansel and Gretel game leaving clues all over the place.

It came to mind an experiment were sane people was admitted in a mental hospital and the personnel never determine they were but the patients theorized they were being observed Weird. Also a short story called the Phone by Isabel Allende which was frankly disturbing. Let's face it none of them is a psychologist or psychiatrist and the expectations Splinter might have of Leonardo might be biased and Doctors usually don't treat their relatives for a reason trust me on that one. Also I has come to my mind how little you know of the people around you considering you live with them, and Leo's state of mind would not be something the turtles will be to eager to discuss even with April or Casey. Well enough of my rambling hoping to hear your comments. Until next one


	30. You don't understand

All TMNT characters are copyrighted by Mirage studios and were created by Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird. And this is a non-profit fanfic.

* * *

"Singularities." The experienced Time Mistress said. "That is the whole objective of the null time order we eliminate before they become threats."

* * *

**You don't understand**

Donatello had tried to talk with Leonardo alone but he had been unable to as he was constantly under surveillance by Raph and even Mikey who had decided all this ruckus was not healthy for their brother. The rift between them got more pronounced. _'Leo was never wrong after all.'_ The truth was that none of them wanted to leave Leo alone with any of the others and Leo avoided them all. The worst incident for Don had been when Raph cornered him once, pushing him to a wall, and hissed to his ear: "I find out you are pushing Leonardo into anything and I will kill you. Understood?" Well, in less polite terms... Death threats... That was how bad things had gotten in the lair with the menace of Leo being send away. To where, Splinter had not said yet. Don sighed as he tried to concentrate on the project he had been working on, an ordered by Splinter a small tracker device for Leonardo. She will hate him for it. He just knew it without alter Don reminding him.

* * *

Splinter sat near Donatello in the lair, having sent his other reluctant sons on patrol to April's house for a few hours. Disappointed at his own failure to make Leonardo talk as she would just answer with vague things, and he was not even sure how much she remember and how much she was keeping to herself.

"My son did Leonardo told you anything regarding his time abroad?" Splinter asked Donatello quite sternly.

The trapped feeling Don replied handling the device on his hands as a safety blanket. _'She did not tell father either? Well I never did ask…'_

"Not much, Father. Apparently, he ran into some trouble. He said he nearly got killed once but aside from that…"_ 'Just great! Not that he could get specific about that.'_

"Seems he did not tell you much either," the rat sighed shaking his head, disappointed. "He only told me he had hurt many people but... all this is too much for me too... You are probably the only one Leonardo was been close lately." Splinter said sighing again. "However Leonardo..."

"What father?" Don replied concerned at the _'unable to train'_ comment he had heard before and at his sensei's unfairly strict behavior towards Leonardo on his perspective, which had been probably going on forever, he just did not care to notice it before and had suddenly began to bother him.

"I doubt your brother is..." Splinter stopped not sure how to address it. "if it was any other of your brothers I would not object, though I think it is too soon for any of you to try that path; as all of you are too young,... but I don't think you will find what you might be seeking in Leonardo."

'_Father, why?_' Don wanted to ask, surprised and angry. _'Yes, the other two are so comprehensive and caring and are too MALE for my taste.'_ his inner voice replied but well his father did not know about that. _'Maybe he would not want his number one student distracted by such foolishness.'_ That would be understandable but the tone Splinter used troubled him: it would seem as he thought him unable to trust Leo anymore around them and that was deeply disturbing.

Splinter look at Don at the eyes. "You are young and sometimes things may appear different than they truly are. Leonardo is one of those things, he would never tell you if you have hurt him or if he does not wish something to upset you... even if it is against his own well being, but that does not mean he feels the same. To be honest... sometimes I doubt he has any real feelings at all."

Don begged to disagree "Father... That sounds so cruel. You mean Leo does not care about us? But he has proven more than once..." Don was starting to feel uncomfortable and if he was he could not imagine how Leo felt not something she needed right now.

The rat looked sadly at his son. "I know he cares about all of us more than it is healthy, but I doubt he is able to feel anything at all." he said cryptically. "It is the way things are. Your brother is not... has never been truly healthy in that aspect." Splinter added a bit remorseful. "However you are the closest to him, he might confide in you, so I need you to talk to him to find out what is going on with him, what is it he wants, and if possible what happened. We need to know for all our safety, and his well being... Are you sure it was the Shredder's voice?" Splinter asked again.

"Father... I will never forget that voice. But I admit it could have been a recording by Karai." Don said.

Splinter shook his head. "Karai does not... She would not have affected your brother that much, but who knows? Still, I strongly dissuade you to try to have anything more than a brotherly relationship with Leonardo. At least for now. I don't think he can handle it and, in the end, he will be the one hurt the most hurting the clan. I will be out to leave you space and your brothers would not disturb you for a few hours, but I will be close if you need anything; also I will not press the issue of whatever Leonardo was about to tell us that night for now, but I would like to know eventually." he said patting Don on the shoulder.

Don gave his father a confused stare as he left feeling the whole burden on his shoulders, just as Leonardo had always carried it with apparent ease, then if Splinter could not trust Leo, why he had appointed him leader in the first place.

* * *

He headed to Leo's room were she was probably meditating. She barely left her room these days as every time she came out something happened that send her right back, being forbidden to enter the dojo at all she just practiced in her room. Another unhealthy habit she had developed.

Leo was reading when he arrived. "Master sent you. Ah! So I guess you are the new leader." she bowed not lifting her gaze from the book "Sorry to cause you troubles before." she apologized with a tad of sarcasm. "If you are going to ask me about my overdue stay too or what I did that day I vanished... Save your time, because I don't remember anything yet. I have tried but... " she said not lifting her gaze.

Apparently Raph and Mickey had also tried but as the things she had found on her room, the bookmarks, her computer… When had she gotten one and learn to use it? The marks on the books had made her even more unconformable_. 'Who is this person? Why can't I understand him… her… whatever?'_ She thought sadly, trying to continue reading the art of poison book which was oddly very interesting.

"Don..." she started, rising her gaze, not knowing what to think, somehow vaguely remembering a conversation with April regarding Don being a girl and she denying it.

"Oh dear..." To Don it seemed like an eternity since the last time he was able to talk to her alone and he had truly missed her. "Leo, you don't imagine how worried I have been. Did Raph... try anything improper? Because if he did I will…" He clenched his fists. Even if it he took a beating, he would do it.

"No." Leo replied lifting her gaze, abandoning the book. "I mean, we are always at each other's necks, right? I just allowed his tirade to get to me more than it often does, that is all."

'_Leo I have been... Are you alright? I mean, you are not hurt or anything?'_ he wondered, considering he had not been able to examine her. Actually, no one had, for it would have been awkward and he was not a psychologist or a doctor, he was still just a teen of sorts with knack for engineering. And how do you fix a mind anyway? _'How much have you told them?' _He had vaguely heard. He was not suddenly jealous of an Utrom, right?, but still… Well, he could have imagined it. _'It was not as he could offer Leo the world… I mean, galaxy.'_ He thought, feeling even less than dirt. He truly was not prepared for this, the responsibility, not counting on Leo anymore.

"Why?" '_Why does everyone think I can't take care of myself? Why no one trust me anymore?'_ Leo asked cautiously wondering how to approach the things she needed answered concerned about Don's attitude, Raph's accusing words_: '…Youth corruption agenda?_' ringing in her head.

"Well, I dunno. Maybe that Shredder wants to have a try with you again. I dunno. Lure you to his side or something." He took her hands between his and brought them to his face. _'You are beautiful.'_ suddenly realizing the great effort Leo must have made to keep her scent in check before considering they had been in the lab many times alone before and he had never felt so...

"Don are you alright?" She asked concerned not liking a bit the words Don had said nor his glare.

"You can't imagine how terrified I was when I thought you were... And couldn't even know... The idea of that monster getting to you trying to convince you again… Being alone with you and it is not as you are completely impervious to his influence…" Don was closing his eyes, trying to let the dread and jealousy dissipate.

"Don?" Leonardo called quite seriously, noticing the glare in Don's eyes. _'Don knew about that? Great! No wonder everyone acted weird around her...him.'_ Not sure how to clarify her doubts without upsetting Don further but she needed answers, clear and straight answers. "Don are we... in any sort of... relationship?" She asked softly having flashes of late night talks, Don smiling for him being kind almost as if. '_That was absurd and irresponsible.'_

"I do... I mean... I wish if... you let me... " Don replied, looking at her not thinking that clearly putting her hands over his heart trying to catch her gaze looking at the speechless Leo, he continued. "Leo, before you say it's instinct or hormonal; I need you to know that: God! You are beautiful, Leo..." He continued looking at her in the eyes putting one of his hands on her cheek while keeping her hands trapped with the other. "Against my best efforts and I... I think I lo…"

"I love… you too… I…" she said with a nervous grin backing a bit taking her hands from Don's grasp. Was she having a nightmare and Don was Mr. Darcy? And since when she read things by Austen? She was truly confused. _'What next I am watching soaps?'_

"Really!" The purple clad turtle exclaimed, suddenly hopeful leaning to kiss her.

Leo froze letting him kiss her. Even more confused.

It was then Splinter's words hit him with full force as he pictured Leo's confused eyes. _'He will not tell you even if he does not feel the same.'_

He painfully realized she was not returning the kiss and was trembling so he backed off sighing disappointed.

The startled and blushing Leo stuttered backing her head. "Y...yes I love you all. You are my life."

"No you don't... Master Splinter is right you can't. Not now." He said, dejected letting her hand go. "You don't really understand me."

"I think I do." She retorted, alarmed. This was a nightmare, right? "But I... just don't understand... it is impossible... did I force you into anything? I mean, what have I been doing? Why me? It is not even...right... I don't understand Don... I just don't. Why are you shaking?" She asked, pinching herself. _No. It was too real to be a dream._

Don fell crash landing looking at Leo's confused face. '"I am a complete idiot, sorry Leo."

"Don!" she said trying to stop Don sinking and shaking figure taking his hand. Even if it was not real, she was not about to let Don down. And dreams could help solving issues on real life, right? "I don't remember much of the last two years, just memory flashes, but I am not sure I am comfortable with… Whatever I was up to it seems so not like me. I mean, poisons? Leaving you all for a year? Acting irresponsibly?"

The flustered Don talked needing space, Raph was right he was an idiot. "Leo step back, please…even like this you are too much…" he said almost absentmindedly, "Last time it took me awhile to shake off this effect you have on me. You can't imagine how hard is has been for me these days."

Leonardo looked at him with a deep concerned glare not understanding what was happening, this is not in my head?

"You forgot?" Don finally realized why nothing seemed to fit anymore, her attitude, why she suddenly seem ignorant of her effect on them. '_Of course genius she forgot most of the last 2 years and all those incidents where in that time frame.'_

"I forgot what?" Leo asked quite anxious.

"That you are… You know what we talked about: not trimming your nails as often, growth spurts, nesting season, your plastron... you remember that, right?" Don blurted suddenly apprehensive, was mentioning that smart at all with Leo Hyde possibly lurking.

"Not the time for jokes Don. April may have thought you were a female, but you aren't, right?" Leo said not sure about that memory concerned about the fear she could see in Don's eyes.

"No, I am not." his inner voice was too shocked too answer back. "I am not... But you are Leo." Don said almost automatically._ 'He had blown it big time.' _considering the reaction he got.

"Me? No way! That would be absurd." She giggled.

_'That was bad'_ he thought as she saw her shaking her head. _I am not psychologist_.

"I can't be one! I must not be one!" she repeated with conviction for some reason it seemed as if things would get dangerous if that statement was true so she shook her head again and rose again feeling a great need for air but forcing herself to control. "I thought we could talk but you are pranking me too, right? To make whatever I was doing right, I guess I deserve it for worrying you, but please!" she felt another headache followed by a flash of memories. "Could you leave me alone?" she told him pushing him out of her room.

_'Oh dear she forgot,' _Don did not seem excited about going through that again particularly as she was now in complete denial, he thought calling the distress call. _'Must get master Splinter as soon as possible.'_

* * *

Leonardo stormed out as soon as Don had left, heading to the one person who she knew she would talk to, if that statement was true and she would not trust Don. The morphological differences of the red slider coming to her mind, a conversation about thinner tails, shorter nails and flat upper plastron. She touched the upper part of it. Flat! Unlike Don's cup shaped shell and all of them. Memories of frequent showers that made her skin itching dry, then showering in an odor inactivator that stang, blood dripping from her swords, yells of monster, death. She was barely able to catch her breath and she rushed to that other lair.

She was conscious she would be in for another deserved reprimand though she would not be exactly disobedient as she was not leaving to the surface for now, '_Well what else could she lose? Her sanity?' _She could laugh._ 'I mean I could be disowned and thrown from the lair as the liability I am.'_ She was not particularly worried about that as she had been on her own before but... it was too much as memories of the night in question in stereo began playing on her head the whole despair of the situation.

Photographs, threats, having absolutely no power hitting her fully but the answer eluded her still _'Why? Why am I alive still?'_ She meditated a bit before dropping in uninvited in Leatherhead's lair through another unused path. '_What if he had not even spoken to him?_' well at least he would be more level headed than any of her brothers now she hoped.

"Leonardo, is been a while." The massive crocodile greeted noticing the state Leonardo seemed to be at. "Please take a seat. Water?"

Leo sighed deeply putting her hand on her face and frowning "I asked you to synthesize... make something for me right?" she asked all of a sudden, collecting herself as a glimpse of a memory surfaced and the pieces slowly coming to order.

"Yes, I still have it, but what happened to the Holistic approach you were going to try?" he said crossing his arms.

"Holistic just went out the window" she answered.

"Did... the nesting season go so bad?" he said cautiously.

Considering the horrified gaze he got from Leonardo he continued. "I know Leonardo… I am scientist I am able to discern things"

"It is that obvious?" she asked ashamed.

"That you are a girl? Well as I don't see you as often and being a biology oriented specialist yes, I had my doubts before your return but after I saw you that day I gave you the deodorant yes. I have been expecting to be informed though for a while by Donatello as I did not want to be intrusive, but the day I saw them they were frankly territorial regarding your well being so I decided it would be for the best not to attend the party."

"Great!" she said. "So can I have it?"

"Leatherhead" looked at her. "I remember telling you, it would have side effects it is not wise to meddle with nature."

"What if nature makes you murderous or endangers everyone around you?" she asked sadly and decided meeting his glare.

"Even then...I think you should talk to your family." LH replied sympathetically.

"Don knows and he is not handling that well, so I am not taking my chances, there is something coming and I can't. Not right now."

Leatherhead sighed. "The Shredder Ch'rell, Donatello mentioned something, I have been trying to contact my Utrom friends, but I have not been able too."

"Figures? Why did you return to Earth LH?" she asked, suddenly wondering what would it had been like in the end they had left Yoshi and all those he hold dear to his fate just as the tribunal.

"I was raised by Utroms and I still consider them my family, but in the end I began feeling I was not really more than a pet an experiment to them it became more than obvious in the Utrom Homeworld, after all with their very long lifespans, few body necessities they cannot relate to creatures like us and my temper and mood changes would have been a burden to them."

"So you decided to step back." Leo said. "Honeycutt as well."

"Yes, saints are hard to live with" LH replied.

"But I will need it!" Leonardo said considering to ask him about what he knew about the Shredder but dismiss it.

"Leonardo,... What can I tell you? I am not so comfortable giving you something like that as a doctor or as a friend."

"Yes I know, but if you don't, I will have to look somewhere else and that might cause more damage for I know Don won't either and we can't face the Shredder, not if I they are fighting over Me." she said quite sternly.

Leatherhead sighed in defeat giving her the vial. "Don't complain about your height later."

"I won't, now I need to make a visit, don't have much time before they start looking for me. If they ask you haven't seen Me." she was readying her arm. "Anything I should know?"

"I will need to run blood test on you if you are going to take it for a long period of time. I am working on a guess on your particular biology so if you have any side effects you should stop it immediately and Donatello is probably going to want to kill me."

"I will worry about that, I assume full responsibility for this." she promised giving herself the first shot.

* * *

Karai sat heavily in her office the events of the previous days having taken a toll on her.

"_Why is my father back? Since when had he been so obsessed with the turtles? And with that turtle in particular?"_

Well it was not her place to question, she was honor-bound to do her master's bidding even if she no longer fully agreed with all had not for a while or even understood it.

She hated being observed. "Chaplain! I told you to knock first."

She turned her head to find the grinning Leonardo in front of her.

"No, your boyfriend is temporarily out of commission, care to leave a message?." Leonardo said deadly, pointing at the red-haired unconscious on the floor. "Because Karai I came to leave mine."

* * *

**Authors' notes**

Once again thanks to Lady-Kassy for her beta of this chapter.

Thanks for reviews they do inspire me to continue.

Leatherhead in the 2003 series is another mutant who was raised by Utroms so he is a scientist with a Jekyll & hyde complex induced by the Shredder and Bishop, unlike his 90's more easy going counterpart and when Donnatello turned into a monster due to a mutagen in the sewers the turtles turn to him for help as none of the other had a clue what to do; so I assume he will be the one Leo would turn for help on health issues instead of Don. Also anyone else wondered why did Honeycutt chose to reside on Earth and why did LeatherHead sort of chose to return to Earth after Ch'rell's trial, if they would have been much safer in the Utrom homeworld and wasn't that his objective, I mean he was building a transmat to teleport there when he was first introduced and he considered them his family so how much sense does return to the sewers make?.

As I wrote before what one person says and what the other understands might be quite different things so let me know what you think of this chapter.

As for Chaplain he is seen holding Karai's hand by her choice at the end of the 2003 series.


	31. Two kunoichi

All TMNT characters are copyrighted by Mirage studios and were created by Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird. And this is a non-profit fanfic.

* * *

"By the time I am done with you there won't be enough to make even a ghost" the creature sneered

* * *

**Two kunoichi **

Karai looked at the turtle, startled. There was something dangerous about the creature and she could feel it. Well, he had always been dangerous but she had never felt that killing glare on her, not even when he had returned after she had tried to eliminate Leonardo's family.

"Gu..." She tried to summon her guard.

Shh! Leonardo hushed her "I don't think you would mind much, but how much does that lackey's life means to you?" she said not losing her glare playing with an envelope opener Karai had on her desk pointing at the unconscious Chaplin.

"That would be..." Karai said unable to contain a shiver.

"Not honorable...yes I know Karai, but your family always reaches new deeps of undesirability so I don't think you of all would mind if I play by your rules for a change"

_When did Leonardo start sounding so much like my father?_ she thought confused.

"Yes, well to business, as you know this is not a social visit." Leonardo said nailing the envelope opener in the desk. "None of my visits ever are... Where is your father?"

"On exile, thanks to you turtles." She replied.

"Really? Well, not that I expect you to tell me, but, then, please, tell his impersonator I need to talk to him. Would he answer from your phone?" she asked, opening Karai's mobile.

"You will pay for that." Karai swore, trying to retrieve her short sword from her desk.

"You would not do that if you care about Chaplin's life there." She said taking the card opener again.

"Leonardo you would not harm him, I know you better than that." Karai sneered.

"You do?'" Leo said amused "Well if you were to call my family they would tell you that after my last appointment with your father's Kagemusha (shadow impersonator), I haven't been exactly _stable._ I even lashed at them, so don't tempt fate Karai. I am not the Leonardo you once knew anymore."

Karai seated back sighing deeply. Anyway she had orders not to harm him.

"What have you done to my father?" Karai asked.

"The one on exile?" Leo replied sarcastically.

"He is obsessed with you," Karai said.

"My question exactly. You know, before I met you, he sort of offered me your post. I wonder if he was hiring or something and was not that pleased with you then?" Leo said still playing with the sharp letter opener.

Considering the hateful glare she got from Karai she continued. "I have not quarrels with you Karai. We are both honor bound to our masters bidding, we are simply tools, we fight their wars but, though I should be grieved by your attack on my family, I never took it personally. I don't hate you, and never have, otherwise you would not be breathing anymore."

Karai looked at her, confused and feeling increasingly angry.

"Yes. Had some details been different, I believe we would have been good friends, but Hell is paved with ifs, isn't it?" Leo said not loosening her glare on Karai.

"What is you want Leonardo?" Karai spat increasingly uncomfortable by his glare.

"Everybody has asked that already and I don't know. I know it sounds strange but I just don't want to wait until his next" invitation" and I need to talk to him. So would you be as kind to let him know?"

"You are deranged." Karai said.

"Yes you might say that." Leonardo replied calmly. "Tell him that two can play this game. I bet certain maniac governmental agent by the name of Bishop would be thrilled to know an intergalactic criminal has returned to Earth and is being shielded by the Foot. You met him already right?"

"He is your enemy too" Karai stated.

"Yes, but enemy of my enemy remains my enemy and he dislikes aliens more than he dislikes mutants and since we are in a sort of a truce, we don't get on his way, he doesn't get in ours, he might be interested in knowing your father played 'Let's blow the city' the other day. I am deeply disappointed of you Karai. The Justice Force might also be sympathetic to my pleas."

"My duty is to my Lord"

"I imagine. Yet he is not human. Nor am I, but you are Karai. So think about it and tell him that I don't like being threatened and if he tries something like that again I will have to carry on my threat, including delivering certain Kunoichi's head on a platter, which might upset him since he certainly cares about you; or you would be missing limbs already.

Now, I will take your mobile and I will turn it on tomorrow at 6 pm sharp, so he may contact me. You will get it back, don't worry. I will mail it to you. I take my leave now." she said vanishing.

Karai got up to help the unconscious Chaplin, she was still recovering from the creatures glare. This Leonardo certainly was an opponent she did not wish facing.

* * *

**Author's notes**

Thanks again to Lady-Kassy for her beta of this unending story.

Chaplin name spelling corrected thanks to Margui's review, I blame it on the autocorrect.


	32. Reflections

All TMNT characters are copyrighted by Mirage studios and were created by Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird. And this is a non-profit fanfic.

* * *

The samurai rabbit looked at his opponent with a curious glare. "Would you mind if I change my weapon for a sword?" she said removing her hood.

* * *

**Reflections**

Leonardo returned to the safety of the sewers wondering about what she had just done. She really did not know herself anymore. _'I really have gone insane,'_ she thought detached. _'to threaten Karai and bust in the foot quarters unarmed. Fearless! Or rather, Daredevil! Would say Raph. Brilliant!_ _They really should improve the security.'_ Well, she was still following orders, part of them at least. A card opener did not count as a weapon on the strict sense, though technically in her hands, anything, including her hands, just could be a dangerous weapon. _Yes, even a rubber duckie_ as she was one. She had trained all her life to be one so, moving and breathing would also qualify as handling weapons.

"I need to stop listening to Mikey" She spat at herself. Following orders… The enforcer disobeying direct orders. What next? Piercing and tattoo? She could laugh. Yes, her family would not have been very supportive with the 'not going to the surface' part, but she was not going to inform them yet. Now she had to figure out where to store Karai's mobile phone for she was not taking it to the lair as it could be traced back, that was for certain, and she still had to determine how to be back tomorrow to turn it on at the appointed hour without her family meddling. "I should have told him to call me right away." But that would be impolite… _And since when do I care about that?_ She was beyond anger or rage now. Actually, she did not feel anything at all and that was disturbing but oddly comforting considering the emotional roller coaster she had been as of late.

She just had looked at the facts, unnervingly cold and detached after leaving LH's lair and had decided to face her fears, not exactly the talk she had teased Don about, and not that Karai would understand either. These days she doubted anyone could understand her. She still had gaps on her memory which were major, she could not remember anything after that collected voice had talked and though she had some vague memories of lashing at her family, she merely felt like a witness, as though she was not there but only watching a movie, a horror one, and she could picture the glares she received from April and Casey. Yes, talking to plants, but she had actually felt the thing on her head never mind. _'Now I have an alter ego somewhere too? Maybe split personality or something…' _she wondered. Fighting two or three or four fronts was exhausting for she knew she would have to face her master and brothers of her whereabouts and it was not as if she could cover it up, for it had already been 3 hours and let's not forget tomorrow.

She considered briefly not returning to the lair, but that would probably trigger a major search that would lead them to the surface and to the Foot clutches and she didn't need it now, not counting she was not leading the team anymore and probably no one trusted her either and they were probably right, she admitted sadly. She was not willing to answer questions she did not have the answer now, either. Had Don told them already? She wondered. What to do? How had thing come to this: she, requesting an audience with the Shredder? The world had truly lost its head.

She could sing and sighed, heading back as one heads to the gallows. Well she could play the insane act a while longer, as her whole family and now it would not be exactly lying she tried to comfort herself. But sneaking out again would be hard considering her master no longer trusted her at all. She still was as confused as that day, which was annoying Why would the Shredder take all those troubles if killing them would have been as easy as blowing them up? Why all the display of power? Why would he need to prove anything to her? Well except how despaired her situation was, how she had let her principles drag her entire family into more danger but then why spare them at the end if he was just trying to torture her? Why had he returned to the join me tactics when it was more than obvious it would not work?

She rubbed her neck, and then had he let her go just like that or how had she gotten out? Well, she had already sacrificed her family once on the ship, right? A decision she could not say she could make again but she had. Why was he so interested on her was beginning to be disturbing, even Karai had admitted it. _'Obsessed?'_ and to be completely honest she could feel it too as the memory of how she had started the battle in the building. Yes in a sense she was bit obsessed with him too, more than a little, she self admonished: She really craved that battle, had for a long time but in the end she could not deliver, tired and confused as she was, she was a mere mortal after all _blasted migraines!_. She should have requested help. _And,_ _I mean, there are millions of more evolved and interesting creatures in this universe than a mutant turtle right?_ She reflected, not feeling either relieved or flattered. What bothered her the most was that she had gotten to see an aspect from the Utrom she never thought it could exist: that creature seem to care about someone and, coldly analyzed, did have a motive to be angry at the council aside from his own megalomania, not an excuse of course, well, though that general he talked about must have been really something to get such a praise, must have been as terrible as the Shredder himself she thought somehow sad, should she have asked more and why was the Shredder not finding out about her gender important, one of the certainties she had begun having.

"Spineless bastards." she suddenly spat with rage. "They let him out again." She shook her head _'Whose blurred memories were those? Whose anger and wrath laced with that terrible sorrow?'_ For it certainly was not hers. She had her own burden and she barely could carry it so she did not needed more. _My life was already complicated enough!_ She looked at the railing… railing? She had inadvertently walked to the old Water works again.

_Well at least I am constant…_ Whenever she felt everything was too much she ended here, which had been quite frequent lately. Being acrophobic during her childhood made her wonder if she was just trying to prove something, every time she looked at the apparent bottomless pit beneath almost as if it called her. She would never confide it to her master but she used to hear a lot of things during her childhood the others didn't, well sometimes Mikey did, not that it was a relief, but fortunately it had gone away with forced patience and lots of meditation so she had learned to ignored them now. Now that she thought about it, she could not remember her childhood well. She sometimes was surprised, even Mikey had a better memory than her. Her memories in reality, were theirs derived from conversations Odd? Except she was sick most of the times and then she wasn't. So deep in thought she was, she failed to notice the comforting furry paw on her shoulder.

* * *

"Thought you would come here." Splinter said. "You had us worried."

"Sorry, Master, I needed to get out." She replied without turning her back still looking at the abyss.

"You always end here." Splinter told him. "Even as a child. Though you almost fell here once."

"I did?" She asked absentmindedly.

"Yes, you were too young back then. To tell the truth, I always feared you wouldn't make it as the tribunal said, but you did, as you always do, proving them wrong."

"I need to solve something Master." she said, _'Something else he has not told me yet?'_ "On my own. I need to find ground again."

Splinter sighed. "Leonardo, you must remember your family is here for you too. I am sorry to have been so harsh with you before. I guess I let my worried father aspect cloud my judgment."

She shook her head. "Don't, please, Master, you have every right and it has nothing to do with you. It is just... confusing."

Splinter sighed. She was using the master term. "To Miyamoto's world perhaps. I know the tribunal can be quite... I should have known... guess I let my feelings for my late master cloud my judgment regarding his... but he is or was human after all and he is linked to the tribunal so don't take it seriously. Who knows what goes through their minds?"

"No, he was right," she retorted quite sternly. _'I really should not use a weapon, I am dangerous.' _she thought. "Maybe I need time there, I don't know, but not now." she added, looking at the void.

"I have been a terrible parent to you." He confessed not lifting her paw from her shoulder. "But you are more than a weapon to this clan Leonardo, even if I don't let you know as often as I should. Please, be careful your brothers are worried. I am worried about you too."

"Master, I never did apologize for my failure at the Shredder's spaceship." she said.

"You did not fail!" Splinter remarked. "And we are all well. Besides, it was a decision that had to be taken."

"Yes I did" she said with painful grin. "The Shredder is still a threat and I am not sure if I won't make such a decision again…"

Splinter sighed "Let's go home my child, your brothers will be worried."

"Don't child me!" She replied rather harshly, clenching the railing. She would have cried if she had tears but she didn't. Probably she never had them.

"Leonardo?" Splinter said cautiously feeling the inner turmoil the turtle had.

"Please master I need to be alone for now, Just until tomorrow. I swear I won't try anything dangerous for now." _'Yes, taunting the Foot isn't…'_ for some reason she knew it would not be right now. Another certainty… She was more scared of herself than of the Shredder at this point.

"Can I have your word on that?" Splinter said.

She nodded she had made a resolution and she was going to abide by it.

"Very well my ch... son." The shinobi master said leaving and repressing the feeling to hug her and tell her everything would be alright like when she was a child that needed comfort after her frequent nightmares.

* * *

The broken hearted Splinter returned to the lair and headed straight to his quarters after reuniting his other sons in the kitchen. "Your brother is fine. He will be back tomorrow so don't try to find him now. That is an order."

The three turtles look at their father disconcerted. Had he just said to leave Leonardo alone...?

"Father!" Don defied. "Leonardo is far from stable. Who knows what could..."

"He promised he wouldn't do anything. I believe him and I hope you do the same." Splinter said. "Your brother has proven more than once that he is able to take care of himself."

"Right, like the day the Elite threw him at our window? Or the day he got captured?" Raphael spat.

Splinter glared at his son.

"Could I take him some food at least?" Mikey asked. "I mean, wacko and hungry?"

"Your brother is far from insane." Splinter replied sternly though he was beginning to doubt it.

"Yes, talking to plants is considered normal now." Raph spat.

The two turtles and the rat looked at Raphael.

"Talking to plants?" Splinter repeated rather confused and sighed deeply.

Raphael nodded.

"My order remains" Splinter said and headed to his quarters.

* * *

Leonardo spent the day in her secret hideout in Central Park meditating. She had even sneaked once to the lair to get some food and had vanished just as quickly. She did not know what to expect, she doubted the Shredder would answer her taunt. Not that she would not carry on with it, all of it, she now understood what the white haired master from the ninja tribunal meant over being more important than honor her family safety was. Why did she not request help was not as simple. She was protecting them, as absurd as it sounded, she would protect them from the knowledge they had already lost the fight so Raph could think by getting angry, Don by being smart and Mikey by being him would not be pressure as much as she always was.

'Learn to live with the decisions you have made so you don't live in regret.' Well she had lived to regret her decision every time she saw her brothers. She still could not avoid feeling a pang of guilt for nearly denying them the right to be alive, for not being strong enough, not that she had a death wish far from that, but she was scared to be left alone again being the last one standing, whose line of thought was that she wondered. Though she could relate she was certain it was not hers. Was she really going insane? She wondered a bit anxious because if that was the case? She could not do that to her family. What would they do with her? _Well at least I will take certain obnoxious tin head man with me_, she thought feeling as though she was having a déjà vu.

* * *

The three turtles stared at each other in the kitchen, not even the pizza cheering their moods.

"Anyone else feels we are being left out or is it just me?" Mikey asked.

"Just you." Raph spat.

"Raph, you said Leo was talking to plants?" Don asked.

"That is what _Casey_ said." Raph spat angrily, no matter how he looked at it, it was bad and he could not do a thing and he did not want to let Casey know how bad Leo had gotten to pursue more information he could not handle Casey and April looking at Leo with fear or pity, it felt as if Leonardo was slipping away like sand on his hands.

Don shook his head. He was angry at Splinter, at Raph at Mikey, at whatever sort of Shredder and he was even angrier at himself. Leo had probably been deteriorating months from now and he just did not see it, could not, he always thought everything was related to Leo's little secret but it seemed Leonardo had more secrets one could imagine. He still could remember Leonardo's painful glare as she was turned down by the furnace as if she was unworthy of one, by the tribunal. How they had mistreated her over and over denied her a weapon, reprimanded them for not leaving her behind, yet she had fulfilled her duty and if not for her, there was no way they could have defeated any of the Shredders.

Just what else did they expected? Not that they were remarkable. She had managed the impossible, making enemies fight side by side. How her father and Cody had mocked her in the fake diary, well they had mocked them all but Leo's was with surgical precision apparently. He had considered confiding Leo's secret to his father but now he was not sure anymore._ 'He would not understand.'_ and she was probably right. He had been right about being suspicious about Leo's last departure, to the Ancient One, that could only mean she had not been right back then and she was not at good terms with Splinter. Did she trust anyone at all? As he feel increasingly compelled to beat the hell out of that fat whatever he was for hurting Leo.

Yet had any of them given her a reason for trusting them? He was the dependable one and he had let her down. He could picture that alternative dimension Leonardo who had separated from his family and now he wondered had something happened between Raph and her or him? He was not that sure for the plastron was badly marred, to make her take off. The timing coincided with Leo's first season as he had disappeared in that world a year before if he included the timing they were sent to the future would add an extra year had that rock headed brute dared to... Just the idea made him want to murder Raphael... Remembering their last fight and how they reacted to each other in that world and yet... Raph despaired cry when Leo had fallen. Traitorous instincts! He growled clenching his fist angry at not even being able to feel regret for what he had done, repressing the urge to lash at his other confused and seated brothers just for being there for having her attention. He had let his hormones take over after all. _"Yes we are sentient, we can make choices…'_ he mocked somehow bitter. _'And don't you dare comment anything."_ he threatened his inner voice. '_I know.' _

* * *

Leonardo returned the following night, covered in her brown coat and considered heading straight to her master's quarters, not even looking at them, rubbing her left wrist where a bracelet now resided.

* * *

**Author's notes**

Thanks again to Lady-Kassy for her beta.

What can I say, sort of busy with 1.0 lately and not as inspired.

Thanks to Light of reason for he Omake it was funny. Thanks to Tera Hunter, dozer, turtlegirl and Nijalara54VirusesMondhexefan for all your reviews.


	33. Perception

All TMNT characters are copyrighted by Mirage studios and were created by Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird. And this is a non-profit fanfic.

* * *

"Are you sure Leonardo? Because I am no so certain about anything about you anymore my son." Splinter said.

* * *

**Perception**

The day had been quite uneventful as the left behind turtles were basically clueless of what to do, since Splinter had sort of let them slack training as concerned as he was. Raphael had just stormed out for a while as he wanted to avoid Don's presence, lately he could not stand even Mikey, so he disobeyed, not really happy with the things he had heard on the streets. But wherever Leonardo was, she was not to be found for the moment so he had found his way to the old lair, quite upset, trying to shake old ghosts, not very well as he saw the remains of the metallic monster slashed._ 'Leo?' _Sometimes it was easy to forget what an incredible foe the blue clad turtle could be, though his strength had somehow weaned lately, probably due to sickness, compared to his own but he still had a long way to go if he really wanted to beat his brother. He still wondered how he had managed to break Leonardo's swords. He was probably counting on the Battle Nexus ones' resistance, he thought.

The memory of the interaction of Leonardo and Splinter after she lashed out made him wonder, bringing back some memories he would rather forget; he had seen his father do that before but could not exactly remember when. As usual his father kept a lot of information to himself which usually would not have been a problem, for Leonardo would be there to back his Masters decisions, whatever they were, but it was no longer the case apparently.

He felt lost, looking at his hand and remembering Leo's skin under his palm, her angry and uncomfortable eyes, bracing for a punch. _'Did Leonardo really think I would ...?_' he sighed. He had not meant half the things he had said, though he thought about them. Actually the whole Nightwatcher stunt had been another way of rebelling against what life had made them. He had tried to fix things after the Winter's blunder but not so successfully: he still felt dread at his own impotence that day, no matter what Leonardo had said, it did not matter. He had endangered Leonardo out of a petty rivalry.

They were lucky Leonardo seemed to have more lives than a cat. Leonardo always seemed invulnerable, a wall one could scream and punch against without much consequence, a wall who will look back with sympathetic and even caring eyes beyond the filth of the world like a guardian angel with compassionate eyes who watch over them and sometimes punched back to bring them down to Earth, he unconsciously rub his cheek, but never with the intention to truly hurt them. The problem was that Raphael hated, being watched and being treated like an infant. Deep down Raphael felt it was his duty to watch over Leonardo and not the other way around. But lately the angel was a bit lackluster answering back. Had things finally gotten to him too and made his worst fears come to light for the guardian to fall to pressure? What would break Leo so much to make him flee? And if the angel failed them, the mere mortal could just stare and watch until his spare lives allotment ran dry.

It was obvious to him that Leonardo would have had an easier life if he had taken the many opportunities life had thrown at him, including living in an Ancient Japan, setting with a wandering samurai, having the adventure of a lifetime. 'P_robably Leo's dream come true.' _Yet for some reason Leonardo seemed immune to temptation and he hoped that would remain, otherwise the rest, including Master Splinter, would be lost. _''The perfect child, the perfect ninja, perfect student, the perfect Fearless freaking leader…"_

Raph always ended feeling compared to him and had always come short in his perspective. _'No wonder Splinter always dedicated more time to Leonardo's training,' _Thought sometimes it seemed as though Splinter demanded almost the impossible from the blue-clad turtle as if the old rat had always expected Leonardo to face greater perils, never allowing him to slack, even in the future. He had accidentally heard Splinter remind Leonardo his role as the keeper and guardian and was taken aback by the apparent harshness in his father's tone. _'Remember! Strive to be always in control!' _Was that even possible? He had wondered since Leonardo was already a control freak. Well life had always threw them the hardest balls and they had more than less escaped unharmed, He was not as naive as his brothers not to notice there were other reasons behind Leonardo's prolonged training, which was absurd. _How do you train to lead without a team anyway? It was not as if he was going to find a new ready team in whatever hole he had hidden those two years._

To be honest, he had even liked the notion at first. He had thought that, without Leonardo around, he would be able to shine finally, that he would finally establish why he was better; to prove to his father that he had erred at choosing Leonardo. _How mistaken I was_. Being a brawler hanging with a vigilante had it's highlights, particularly if you could count with a one turtle army to back you up if things got rough, except said backup was not within reach anymore, a great miscalculation, after a certain incident where Casey had gotten badly hurt and the backup team had been less than proficient and had required saving themselves, he had not ever really trusted Don's leadership much after that night.

"And we call ourselves ninja? What a joke!" He said hitting the wall. He had backed a bit from dragging Casey along so often, something April greatly appreciated. But the news of the blue demon not showing on that occasion had seemed to spread like powder and made the Dragons and other gangs more daring and cocky, thinking they would have a shot at taking down at least the red one they basically lined. Though they were weary around the green freaks, only the Blue inspired them true fear, good thing Foot seemed to be waiting.

Raph was raging when Splinter told them to stop patrolling until Leonardo returned, considering the condition in which they returned that night. Did he thought only perfect little Leo could defend himself? _Gimme a freaking break!_ The criminals would cream them if given the chance, so he made his alter ego as he had made a resolution to never allow himself to be as pathetic as the time Karai attacked and almost kill them all. Disoriented, harmed, scattered and scared Leonardo had not even complained as he lead them to safety and whatever he had done certainly had kept the Foot away for a while. Proving again that he was better than him. Had always been.

He could feel the dread accumulating as Leonardo failed to return at the appointed date and tried his best to pretend he did not care_. I mean, we had already gone through the whole tribunal ordeal._ "Rodents misbegotten pets!" It still made Raphael's blood boil. He had gotten so excited about his Banrai. He still had dreams about that weapon, it was like holding a piece of his soul on his hands an eerie comforting feeling he actually missed. He had not really thought much at what Leonardo must have felt back then, though he noticed the white faced master ignore his brother's plight, _No weapon, no harm_ was fine by him, but Leo's face had faltered for a second with his questioning glare. What does that mean? But then it was Fearless: He could take it, he was the wall, a mere lesson to teach some humility to Mr. Perfect.

It was not until Leonardo used the sword not meant for him that he began to understand the seriousness of the matter, the burns on his hand after he used Faranji's sword, but then… Well, he had a dragon avatar after all, so he could not complain right? And now why would the Ancient fat one turn Leo down? Why had his master sent Leo to him again? _We already trained under his masters._ Too many questions he did not feel like pondering. He hit the wall again. Training without Leonardo was really not that fun after all. He reached to the remains of his father's room and found the Foot emblem they had given Splinter the first time they cross paths with the Foot. He shivered. Leonardo had looked so happy and enthusiastic back then. _'Master Saki.' _Who knew what that creature had offered to his brother? And being more acquainted with the Foot these days, he knew what the Utrom would have delivered: a life in the surface was certainly the most tempting offer for a light deprived reptile. Power.

He feared to think of what would have happened to the family if Leonardo had chosen to follow the Shredder, but then there was the failsafe: all the complicated Bushido stuff Leonardo followed or rather was inducted to follow. He remembered a particular bad fight he had with Leonardo some years back after hearing his father's decision of attacking the Shredders base. _"Earth to Leo FYI; We are ninja Bushi-… whatever. It's for samurai, you moron."_

He had never seen Leonardo that angry. Well, until he became so dark after the Spaceship incident, as he recited all the virtues he knew by heart in Japanese. "Gi, yuu, gin..." to Raphael who gave him a disbelieving glare. Yes, more abstract blabbering. _I am not the sensei Leo you don't have to show off of how much Japanese you know._

Leonardo had taken a deep breath and restarted in English visibly annoyed as he matched Raphael attack. _"Rectitude, courage, benevolence, respect, honesty, honor, loyalty, filial piety and wisdom. If you can't bring yourself to understand at least the part of the wisdom of the path, Raphael, then there is nothing we can talk about."_ Leonardo had spat, turning and leaving him utterly defeated on the ground.

Raphael sighed and rummaged through what remained of Leonardo's room and found the remains of a burnt page of a book which had Leo's characteristic side notes in Japanese which none of them could read but the page itself send shivers through his spine. "_In the world of the warrior, seppuku was a deed of bravery that was admirable in a samurai who knew he was __defeated, disgraced, or mortally wounded__. It meant that he could end his days with h__is transgressions wiped away__ and with his __reputation__ not merely __intact__ but actually enhanced."_ (Excerpt _Samurai: The World of the Warrior_, by Stephen Turnbull)

"Would Leo go that far?" He wondered in a high voice feeling actually concerned as he remembered Leonardo's reply to her father: _'I honestly can not remember but I feel I am more of a disappointment you imagine.' _Did insanity counted?' he cold sweat remembering the scene and squashed the paper in his hands heading right back to the lair deciding to talk to his father again.

"Leonardo, you stubborn bastard! Don't you dare! Don't you even dare!"

* * *

**Author's Notes**

Hi everyone, Thanks again to Lady-Kassy for her beta.

Thanks to Caylender, and ninjalara54virusesMondhexefan for their reviews. They are always most welcomed. I would also like suggestion for the title I am not sure I got it right for this chapter.

I guess once a week from now on I am really busy with something and some great fics caught my attention too, not that I am on school schedule anymore, I sort of miss it yes the mind loves planned neat schedules after a while of compulsory education and graduate and whatever so when you finish you feel a bit lost, I guess.

An insight into Raphael: I don't really like the emotional tangle Raphael is but I don't consider him a fool either and he is interesting to write about, none of them are fools really: not like the yellow squared sponge which really creeps me out more than Sadako or Samara I swear, don't ask why I saw that movie but it gave me nightmares the Sponge one not the Ring. Mickey's difficult to write about he will get a chapter but I don't know when. I know Raphael language would be more _colorful_ but I never have take swearing very well so Bastard it is.

Now to my babbler I like to play with perception, everybody has the right to have their own view of the world but that that does not mean you can fully comprehend the nearest person to you, you hardly get to know the people you grew with as you age and stop being confined to you house. In a sense the sense of independence we should develop in the infancy when we find we are different from the rest of the world and out mother is not part of us makes us all quite lonely creatures I guess that is why cults recruit so much people in the end there is and old saying you arrive alone in this world and you would leave alone. I doubt it will be different even in a close clan like the turtles they are just to different so Raph has a point to be worried but Leo has her own point of view which will see in the next chapter.

Personally I don't condone suicide and seppuku is down right the freakiest of them all, despite the Japan fan in me the teenage suicide rates are alarming, and understanding the reasoning behind for many cultures had similar practices like the voluntary suicides in Rome, but to me self sacrifice is one thing but pointlessly finishing your self for your own reputation is selfish at best is like forfeiting the game early on because you lose a bout, and if you read about the way the samurai had to obey their masters: you displeased me go finish yourself. Just not my cup of tea.

* * *


	34. Doubts

All TMNT characters are copyrighted by Mirage studios and were created by Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird. And this is a non-profit fanfic.

* * *

"If you were going to turn on one of us, why on the puck face there and not on our resident Cinderella?" he said pointing at Mike. "At least he looks more like a girl than you."

* * *

**Doubts**

Splinter had been trying the I Ching and others omen related things for hours repeatedly as if trying to find an answer for something, which was quite odd since Splinter had always talked ill of omens to his sons. "Must be shooing the bad vibe." Mikey said seating in the living room trying to make time as he waited for the pizza he was baking to cheer up Leo in case he decided to show up as he promised his master, though… he was not going to be a party pooper: Leo said he will return and he will at if not '_I will have a whole pizza I can't lose'_ beside the miserable looking Don who was seated looking at the ceiling still berating at what had happened in Leo's room the previous day.

"I am an idiot, she probably hates me."

"Who? ... Did you fight with Ape?"

"You… go find some comic or videogame and leave me alone." Don retorted.

"Don?" Mikey said in a rare insight moment turning the TV on.

Don grunted.

"What is going on between you and Leo?" he asked going through the channels.

"Nothing is going on!" Don replied. He was not in the mood to discuss anything with anyone and less of all tactful Mikey. And no there was nothing; he sadly recognized.

"Dude, don't gimme the shove off. I mean, dude I don't care, but it might be contagious or that I am a girl. Actually according to Raph we all are and that is so totally uncool. I mean, for some reason he looks… I don't know, like a pizza lately and, I mean, has he really gone baloney? Because that would be so uncool." Mike said concerned.

Don wanted to pummel his younger brother or rather cousin._ 'Leo looks like pizza? Great parliament Shakespeare! How can I be related to him? Leatherhead must have made a mistake.'_ he thought painfully remembering he had seen the data. Yes denial seemed to be familiar trait in this clan.

"_Y_ou and Raph are males OK? ... We all are." The last thing he wanted was to Mikey to come out and join the territorial fight... "The Cinderella thing is just Raph teasing you and Leo is not insane." he said trying to reassure himself.

"I would not bet on that if I were you, Don." Leo stated sadly giving them both her 'freak me out' trademarked ninja pat on the shoulders. "But thanks anyway. Is Master Splinter in his room?" she asked.

"Leo..." Don started.

She shook her head "Not now. I have things to discuss with our master." and headed straight to his room quite annoyed.

What was talked within Splinters chambers was not discussed with the others, but it went for more than an hour.

"Sealed?!" the knelt floor gazing fist clenching Leonardo said expecting an answer from Splinter who seemed adamant to even discuss the topic.

The other turtles worried had banded again with Raphael's arrival trying to spy but Leonardo and Splinter were barely saying anything and one could feel the tension in the room.

"So much for calling him teacher's pet again" Raph snarled.

"Leo is going wacko again?" Mikey asked feeling loss, "Is he going to be sent away? Is he going to attack sensei? You know, I think there is a body snatcher in him lately. Maybe they replaced Leo and we got an evil hot impostor that is messing with our heads. Yeah that is it!" he said as though having an epiphany.

"I told you Leo is not insane and is Leo." Don said quite harshly._ 'Yeah otherwise she would not smell that good, and you would not have lost your head, big brain.' _His inner voice said. "Shut up!" Don said out loud unintentionally.

"And we have another winner! I could argue against that: Fearless is really gone cuckoo and I am sure you have something to do with it." Raphael spat pointing at Don.

The guilty feeling Don glared at him and replied pushing Raph. "Yes I told the Ancient One to turn him down so ss... he would have her pride shattered. I told the tribunal not to give him a sword because we were handling so well without him. I helped Master Splinter write the little Leo adventure of being turned down by the tribunal again. Yes, Raph, I am guilty!" he remarked sarcastically pushing him again. "And let's not forget I summoned whatever sort of monster she... Shredder…" Don stopped considering how close he had been of slipping.

Mikey intervened to make them hush "Stop it! Both of you, dudes. That freaked me out! I mean, you should have seen how bloodied he was that night. I thought he was bleeding out... like in a gory movie or something. You sure that it's Leo because snatchers can look a lot. Or maybe clones. Yes! like that movie with the Corn blond kids."

"But almost none was Leo's fortunately." Don said not comforted '_Whose blood was that?'_ he thought with a shiver as he had to clean the bathroom the next day, the bandanna, the pads and all had to be discarded, even the remains of a wrist watch. He pondered at what Mikey had said. '_Should have checked for toxins. I should have examined her.'_ he thought "_Of course" _That would be a good explanation he hoped would be true.

"It's not what you think my child."

"Would you, Master, tell me then what is I am supposed to think?" Leonardo replied.

Splinter remained silent and averted her gaze.

"We got ourselves a murdering psycho from what I could get from the rumors; I hope he is not suicidal too." Raph said rather bitterly. He hit the wall trying to dismiss the terrified face of the purple dragon he had interrogated. The other two turtles' faces paled.

"No dude is...Leo, insane or not...he would not abandon us right?" Mikey said nervously.

"With all the bushido stuff he follows..." Raph answered hitting the wall again.

They heard the voices rising.

"All right father! Just how dangerous? Don't I at least deserve to know…? The Tribunal knew, right?" she said hitting the floor.

"Leonardo! Enough!" Splinter commanded sternly.

The sound Raphael made in the hallway made Leonardo and Splinter go silent. Leonardo breathed deeply and shook her head. "Very well, _Master, _I know my place and purpose then but please, don't make me decide which duty is more important and, please, make your mind." They heard as Splinter and Leonardo headed out, not meeting their glares and still visibly angry, heading to her room.

"Come in!" Splinter ordered.

Splinter looked at his leaving son and motioned his other sons to kneel. "Donatello; make sure your brother is not by the door." he said heavily.

Splinter looked much older than usual. "Leonardo is...leaving to the Ancient one tomorrow first thing in the morning, even if we have to force him." he said rather painfully.

"But Father… As unstable as he looks? And did not the Ancient One turn him down already?" said Don.

"And what about April and Casey? It's not like we can hide them here for months while scaredy cat delusional Leo goes training. And what if he decides not to return? I say we go and beat Foot butts right now and get whatever information we need." Raph said. 'And payback for whatever they did to him.'

"Raphael! They are not what the Foot is after now, Leonardo is... I don't think they care about our allies." Splinter said considering how much of what Leonardo had told him he could trust because it seemed the product of a nightmare. The Utroms would not be as reckless to release such creature, the whole thing sounded too far fetched and considering the state in which Leonardo had arrived and her own doubts. _'I don't know what is real anymore master.'_

"Master what about little bomb thing on April's house? What then? I mean, they are not having us for tea exactly; father; right?" Mikey said.

"And can we trust him at all?" spat Raphael "What if all is in his head? I mean father some of the things I have heard on the street is that the Foot very human leader taunted the blue freak demon, drugged him and it went murderous. Maybe he finally slipped and who knows he might even try... harakiri or something…"

Splinter glared at him, and considered talking to Leonardo before his departure.

"And we are supposed to believe more in Foots than in Leo now?" Don said "I mean..."

Splinter sighed, looked at the door and then continued. "Donatello you are to leave immediately to help Leatherhead try to contact the Utrom council, we need to know what is real. I am not certain of some of the things he said. Your brother needs... I need to know and, please stay away from him. All of you. That is a direct order."

"Yes master!" the three turtles replied.

* * *

The blue clad turtle heard the painful words from her father's mouth as whispers in her room, due to the unusual way sounds travel on the new lair, something she had considered to keep them protected. _I am really paranoid _she thought, as she could hear anything that happened in the lair from here. That was why she hadn't let Mikey have this room, even if she couldn't care less of the space as she had the dojo but lately it had become useful to know where she stood with her family and her master. She laid down on her bed looking at the filthy ceiling, and she was certain things would be even more complicated from now on… and she had not told Splinter even half of it. She had been unable too… Whatever the Utrom had done made her unable to mention even his name but fortunately she had preserved her memory this time. _Lucky me!_ Seppuku? Raph truly had no idea that, to Leonardo, it was an unthinkable alternative as long as any of them breathed. This must be a trial, after all, no different from the other ordeals she had undergone already but this time she would be completely on her own. Nietzche was right: if you gaze too long into the abyss, the abyss will gaze into you. It was absurd to think it would never get to her, that she was immune, and that it would never tax her. _'I have yet to see how much of a dragon I have become.'_ she told herself.

But she was not going to sulk on words; there was no point in that. She threw all the things she was going to take into her duffel bag: swiftly coats and hat, the set with the medication she will be taking, wondering if it will matter at all_. Sorry LH. It is just for a few months._ And she then tucked the sword she had received from Usagi, hoping to get a new pair of ninjaken hopefully soon and properly forged, as she expected to be able to trade some of the jewels she had taken out of the pouch. _They must be worth something. _The Shredder was right: she no longer belonged to them, they would not believe her. Shell! She did not believe it either. 'M_aybe it's all in my head but then_...' she thought looking at the bracelet with declared hate and sang softly. "_Flick on the light, there's nothing there. Everything vanished in the air"_

* * *

Karai looked disbelieving at her father as he disappeared in the portable transmat he had gotten his... tendrils... limbs upon. "Leave the turtles and his allies alone for now, I have business to attend." _What kind of order was that?_ She had wondered as she received her mobile phone back from her father's hands.

Leonardo left the lair, without even saying goodbye, early the next morning under Splinters begrudging glare. "Seppuku must be authorized in order to be honorable." he told her.

"You don't have to force me, Master, I go on my own will and I am no samurai, so rest assured: I won't take that way out." she said not even turning her back.

* * *

The weeks passed, the Foot had let them be, according to the rumor on the street he had, the Blue freak had managed to cut a deal with Foot leader as Karai had announced an unexpected travel to Japan, Raphael had kept that to himself. Deal? We should have killed the…agh! when we had the chance." And the monotony was interrupted by April's arrival carrying some stuff Leo had left behind.

She had in mind thanking Leo personally for finally giving Casey the necessary courage to propose, as odd as her intervention had been and since things were pretty calm lately she had finally ventured to try contact Donatello to reach the lair as Leonardo's shellcel seemed to be out. _Actually had he gotten a new one? _She wondered.

She intercepted the arriving crestfallen Donatello who was about to inform Splinter of his success. "The Utrom Shredder was still confined on exile according to the Council." he had begun theorizing about Karai using some sort of hallucinogen because the alternative was not comforting, Raph had quite disobediently tried to get more information and had gotten back to his vigilante attics, beating anything that could be related to the Foot except the Foot quarters. His news weren't better. Actually, it gave him shivers.

"Hi Donnie, is Leo around?" she asked.

Don sighed. No one had told them a thing, as a tacit silent agreement Leo's mind state or location was classified information to further notice, who knew what some of their enemies would do with that information?

"No, he is training." Don answered.

"So, Don. Do you remember that conversation we had that other day about that female confused teen you want me to talk to?"

Don sighed. Though she loved April, her deduction still stung, considering Leo had told him the same and that was depressing now. Both his loves had confused him for a girl. _We totally suck._ Great! He now had a Michelangelo inner voice too. He was the one in dire need of institutionalization no doubt. "I told you I was not a female April. I was serious about that." he said.

"Yes I know but... when you said… "you are not asking about Leo"… it was not sarcasm right?" she said, somehow ashamed. "Because if that is the case, I really need to apologize...I made some awkward comments and... "

Don looked at April with open eyes._ Well should have expected it_ "Did she tell you anything?"

Before April could reply he heard a familiar voice on his back. One belonging to certain furry rat sensei.

"Donatello!"

Don did not want to turn his head. H_ere goes a disemboweled turtle_ he thought.

* * *

**Author's Notes**

Thanks again to Lady-Kassy for her beta.

Thanks for your reviews they do inspire me to continue I can´t believe I have written this much.


	35. In the presence of my enemy

All TMNT characters are copyrighted by Mirage studios and were created by Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird. And this is a non-profit fanfic. Phantom of Opera belongs to Andrew Lloyd Webber, and the Spooky song belong to LazyTown Entertainment and Dune to whomever hold the rights on Franklin Patrick Herbert, Jr. intellectual property.**  
**

* * *

Sing once again with me our strange duet ...  
My power over you grows stronger yet...

Phantom of the opera

* * *

In the presence of my enemy

Leonardo looked at the mobile in her hands and finally decided to turn it on, but on the roof of a building near the Foot HQ as she was not willing to give them any information of the lair's whereabouts. 6:00... 6:05...6:10…Well, was she really thinking the Shredder would answer her taunt?_ Yes I am really_... the sound of Sakura, from the phone, invaded the air with is polyphonic sound. Fitting? She sighed and put it on her ear.

"Tell me youngling, what have you thought about what we talked?" The smooth voice said.

"After or before you tried to gut me out?" Leonardo replied non nonchalant though she had regained her memories. Memories are fickle funny things as they are subjective and they tend to minimize or blow things out of proportion, particularly of the final part, they were frankly confusing as the whole thing seemed like a nightmare, so she was having a really hard time separating what had been real and what she had imagined. Demons and ghouls? _Not likely._ This was not the Tengu Shredder even if just anything could be expected from the Utrom, she was aware of how dark he was, the Sith Lord himself would have paled in comparison would have said Mike, but what bothered her the most was that she felt as she had a reprise of that day in the jungle and that was anything but good she barely remembered the last floor but knew the Shredder was acquainted with the jungle incidents. Well, for some odd reason he was, well apparently she and her family were interesting to him lately. _He is not trying to blackmail me right?_ Because that would be amusing. She felt her hand tremble, felling a sudden urge to wash them but contained herself. Now was not the best time to show doubt. She knew he had to face him, and today was as good as any other day as alluring as throwing the phone and running sounded, she thought. But that would totally ruin the Fearless Leader facade. Insane, she could live with, coward, not likely.

"I must apologize; I got carried away with excitement. It is not everyday you get the chance to tune a new exosuit with a worthy opponent."

She heard the sound of the TV on the lower floor a children program way too loud

"_Dippity dee  
It's only me  
Boopity boo  
I scared you  
Flick on the light there's nothing there  
everything vanished in the air" _

How she wished that was true. "I imagine." She said coldly. It was amusing, the only flatters she got came from an enemy. T_hat is... disturbing… _"So...?"

"Behind you." He told her.

She turned her head as the light of near rooftop terrace turn on.

_'Why I am not surprised? How did he... nevermind'_ she thought as jumped to the next building terrace rooftop, and looked at the open door briefly examining her surroundings. "I'd rather stay outside," she statted watching the image of Oroku Saki in the door frame and throwing him the mobile.

The Utrom caught if effortlessly and tuck it on his robe, '_I should have attached an explosive'_ Leo thought '_Dark half, shut up!'_ But actually that would have been a good idea… Treacherous mind.

"I must insist, you have to accept my hospitality once again Leonardo-san, there is a Chopper tour scheduled in 20 minutes and I don't think you desire more exposure from an annoying tourist photograph."

"Cut the formalities... Another building run, how many soldiers this time?" she asked, disbelieving. "Because then I will have to postpone to a later date honor-bound."

The Utrom laughed "You truly never ceased to amaze me, I must say..." he said pouring a glass of water "... it took you a while. I was considering extending you a new invitation... but I assure you this will be a more civilized meeting." The Utrom said in his Oroku Saki exosuit still smug faced offering her the glass. "Water?"

Leonardo shook her head and narrowed her eyes and got near the protection of the terrace roof not daring enter. _'Is he alone? That would be a perfect opportunity to..._' she shook her head. That would not be honorable after all and _why should I care? Bad half, I insist, shut up!_ She self-admonished wondering about what hearing voices in her head could me, probably that I need to be institutionalized. Would Bishop consider opening a mutant and alien asylum? Because then she and the Shredder would be the first admissions, no doubt. She contained a chuckle imagining the proud Utrom in a restraining jacket and focused on the current situation. Yes actually thinking it better _what was she doing here?_ This was not Karai, this was the Utrom Shredder! She needed the whole team here and she had not brought even her Shellcel, one of the casualties of the previous fight; she doubted she could pressure him or talk him into anything: he was a millennial creature and she was… what? 18... But she will not falter _Here goes nothing…_ "How thoughtful of you but no, thank you. Yes, sorry for the delay but I have been having some issues lately regarding that night, let's say your charming personality left me a bit dazed so I decided to abuse your hospitality once again, and since we are both alive..." she said as instinctively reached for the sword she had received from Usagi but refrained. _'Sort of gave my word, no weapons stupendous! How long will I last in a hand to hand combat?' _she wondered.

"Dazed?" Ch'rell repeated cautiously peering at her, seating on a chair. "But not confused... Not broken. You are truly remarkable, youngling. I was impressed, I must say, at how you intimidated Karai with a... card opener? Threatening her pet, a taste of darkness did you well after all."

"You saw? How rude of you not to meet me there. You will be surprised of how unarmed I can be with a card opener." Leo said almost daring and looked at him sternly and asked a bit annoyed. "And as I told her, this is not a pleasurable meeting for any of us, so to business."

"To you, perhaps, but it is always pleasurable to be in the company of proud, fearless and accomplished warrior who faces death without flinching... my question exactly is: what is you want Leonardo?" he asked.

Taken aback a bit, she spat, enjoying the leverage she knew she had. _Who knew? It might actually work._ "Let's see… You to leave this planet… And why not the universe to work on their own and my family alone and if you can puff into the nothing would be nice... but that would be too much wishful thinking right? So let's cut to the chase and state your conditions and I will state mine." she said defiant, using whatever leverage she had, otherwise he would not have troubled himself so and she would be dead by now, somehow she knew she was the leverage not that is was soothing. "What is it you want from me you can realistically attain?" she taunted.

The Utrom gave her an interest glare as the one a snake gives its prey. "You would make a great general or negotiator but..." he sounded almost remorseful. "As you have already deducted, _you_ are something I want, and I believe I can grant some of your wishes since this backward planet and your family are of no consequence to me, I guess I can let them exist. The universe? We'll see. About the "puffing " part... that is not entirely nice of you since you don't really hate me. I wonder if you actually can…" he said somehow cryptically.

"You are close to managing the feat." she said meeting his glare. "So, as I said, realistically for you won't get a general from me, for no matter what you threatened me with I won't help you 'plunder heavens blind', nor 'steal from all the gods' if that is what you were planning." she said quite sternly.

"You are truly...conceited." the Utrom gave her an interested glare "No, I can get better generals than a street wise confused hatchling, as great as your leading skills might be, I just want to reclaim what was taken from me, as I told you I am a very sore loser and loneliness is a terrible thing after all." the Utrom said.

Leonardo had shivers and crossed her arms briefly, not liking a bit the direction this was taking but not flinching as she could not appear weak before an enemy. "What do you mean by that exactly? Are you proposing?" she mocked.

The Utroms robotic face snarled giving her an inquisitive stare the resemblance was uncanny and it brought faint memories. '_Just what are you? Who are you? A mystery indeed. Were you a she I would even consider reincarnation but that would be absurd'_' the Utrom thought. "I want my general back." he said.

Ok, this had officially turned weird and Leo was close to drop her jaw. "You never stroke me for a romantic but why don't you take it on the Council? They have her not I, they might let her out if you insist enough." Leonardo said sarcastically containing the shiver. This was way too weird to be real.

"She is no longer on their clutches... Unfairly executed to cover their own sins. They feared her too much." The Utrom said somehow dryly.

"Get a psychic, a witch, or a clone or better: a shrink. I am none of the above" She said. '_Why do I feel compassion towards this bastard?' _She thought annoyed.

"I have tried already and that brings me to you... an empath inevitability Hitsuzen interesting concept." He replied.

"Wrong turtle."

The Utrom exosuit shook his head. "I was surprised as well. After all and I have not even nicked your attitude even a bit you certainly don't act like one, but truly a magnificent creature you are and were you less stubborn and less honor bound... I would say you passed the test with flying honors though I am more fond of life bringers, a shame indeed a matter of balance, but you will have to do, it will give me the upper hand, I have to say, unfortunately it will also mean I will have to deal with your charming personality for it would not be completely eradicated. A shame indeed."

"Charming as usual and since you have taken so much troubles, I guess for some obscure reason you need me to volunteer for whatever freaky thing you are planning or you would have taken what you wanted." Leonardo said taunting, calculating her words "So the question is: why should I do that?"

The Utrom sighed. "Yes, unfortunately you have to allow your essence to be merged with hers and her memories in order to recreate her. About what is in for you, let's say the universe. After all, part of you will remain."

"Not interested." Leonardo answered thinking: _He is actually asking me to get possessed or what?_ "Some guys don't get the hint and consorting with a sworn enemy and his ghost friends just does not make my day."

The Utrom gave her a disconcerted stare. "But it should, let's see where you stand turtle, as daunting as your blackmail can be, I am in a different league now, a few years back would have work but your master would not have approved right? Your reliable Utrom council will not aid Earth as it's out of their jurisdiction that is why they were unable to touch me in here and it has never been known by it swiftness but you can try. The pathetic Earth defenses will last what 10 minutes at most?, even with the Justice Force if I summon my armada, which would be a call away, I can make the Triceraton invasion look like a friendly parade, I have brought empires to ruin before and this planet is just a waste of time for me and the best of all which you probably dread the most: I can reveal your existence to the world. I even have the footage for the upper floor, the precision, the elegance, a poem in movement though for non expert eyes it will no doubt cause more uproar than the glimpse they got already and will brand you and your precious family as blood hungry monsters that need to be hunted down. Would your master and family look at you the same, were they to find you have become a slayer of sorts? And now meeting with me alone on your own free will... Doesn't look a bit treacherous on your part?"

Leonardo gave him a bored glare.

"You don't belong with them and you know it. You and I are kindred spirits after all, and of course you haven't told them have you?"

Leonardo stared at him controlling her breath. 'Yes the odds were not that great' but she was going to make it as difficult as possible that was why she was here probing the field. "You are bluffing. There is no way you would drag you waning army this far without attracting the Utrom Council's attention. You aren't a fool after all and I won't be blackmailed by the likes of you. Tell them, for all I care."

The Utrom robotic face gave her an interested face as though he had found something. "There is untapped greatness and darkness in you Leonardo that is probably why she chose you, and you do care but don't be ashamed by what those pathetic fools you consort might think of you they would not understand as my kind never has understand me."

The taken aback Leonardo spat back "Poor brain had a bad upbringing...? Well I refuse to become your Franken- brid... pet whatever." She said defiant not liking to be compared to him. "I said we just settle this old fashion. Name a date and place."

The Utrom looked at the heavens. "Bride?... Interesting choice of words. Not as simple as that we were not of the same species after all, she was more... but I guess it is an appropriate term; a partner, a companion, an equal, I would say a kindred mind though Utroms never use that term with non Utroms as it is improper."

"That means another monster like you at your service. Another reason to refuse your request." Leonardo said.

"Monster? Yes... a magnificent monster but not of her choosing: the Council and her people made her one, but it matters not. I might be bluffing but you don't know for sure. As I told you before I know your weakness turtle, you care too much, it is an inalienable part of you as it was hers, you are truly the selfless hero capable of any sacrifice, but if you prefer, I can try with any of your brethrens. They withstood dragons too after all, should you prove to be too much of a challenge, though I doubt they will stand as long as you, for you at least have a fighting chance as my little test proved you haven't gone insane, yet none of the previous subject can brag about that: The fierce red one while on his vigilante adventures I believe he even keeps an schedule and has been bothering my troops a bit too much lately, the orange clown or should I say the Turtle Titan? Or is he still in the entertainment business? He really should learn some stealth. Yes I know of his monthly trips and taking down the clowns from his precious league might be entertaining but as you know, not impossible or why not your second in command, the genius purple? He gets his materials in the junkyard. Your choice! How well would they fare if I tried what I tried with you? Would they beat your record or would they fall? It is the same to me."

Leonardo glared at him. "Leave my brothers alone." she hissed with a feral rage.

"Oh. We finally hit a sensitive spot..." the Utrom said calmly. "Can you keep them forever trapped in the sewers or on the run with their attitude problems? Karai found your lair once. Should I devote enough resources, it would be a matter of days, if not hours. I know about that little farm on the outskirts. I have been quite keen on rumors lately and even if you could hide, which would not be honorable, what about your human allies? One phone ring and I can destroy their lives. I can have your vigilante friend behind bars with a snap of my fingers, as well as your red-haired friend and can you really protect them all from life and for how long? As you know time is on my side."

"That is low even for you" Leonardo said not showing any emotion.

"I thought you would say that but what intrigues me the most is would you be able to protect them from you?" the Utrom said looking at her.

Leonardo skipped a heartbeat.

"I told you, I know you, for what I got from your time as the 'envoy of the death goddess or fantasma' and the display in the upper floor even without me it is just a matter of time as with all empaths, they all lose it eventually, your control is on the edge at best... Don't you feel the darkness around you? Why don't you embrace it? Don't you hear its whispers? I can make the unease stop and quiet the voices." The Utrom looked at her suddenly interested noticing the turtle's stoic glare. "Your friend there thinks it is for the greater good also."

A figure Leonardo had taken as a soldier approached. "Hi Leo." the embarrassed time mistress said.

"Renet?!" Leo said quite surprised and confused. "Since when does a time master deal with criminals?" _'I am delusional!'_ She scratched her head: this officially was a nightmare! Yes! She probably felt asleep, waiting for the call and she would wake anytime from now.

"Since they provide means to confer stability to the time line, someone has been tweaking it quite a bit lately and you are in the middle of it Leo. Sorry, nothing personal."

"So I am truly a trouble beacon right?" she said recalling a conversation she had had with Renet by the fire as his brothers returned about the odds of all the weird things happening to them. Don had even made the calculations but Renet had not answered back then.

"A singularity, probably" The Time Mistress said. "We are not sure yet."

"A threat?" Leonardo said heavily. "That must be eliminated by the null time order great!" that meant she was unwanted glitch in the time line. A mistake, more dangerous than the Shredder… _Well, can't say I am surprised. _"So, why bring Icky head there? I mean, can't the Null Time Order fix things by themselves?" she said pointing at the unmovable Utrom.

The Time Mistress gave her a careful glare and whispered. "We already tried but you are a difficult one. No matter what the Order throws at you, you escape and, as you know, I cannot interfere directly. There is something about you…" She inspected her, pointing with her scepter. "Protective spells?... No seals... many?" She scratched her head.

Leonardo began too giggle. "I am dreaming, this just can't be true… Wake up, Leo! Wake up!"

"Your name is not Leonardo but Ryonarudo. _Ryo_… Imperial tomb… _Na_… emptiness… _Ru_: halt and _do_… slave? Even your... name?" the time mistress said. "Just what are you Leo?"

"Even the Name?" The Utrom exclaimed out of surprise.

Leo continued giggling. "What you are pulling _onmyōdō_ or some sort of magic tricks on me now?" Leonardo was amused. "Good luck with the birth date."

"No but they already tried them on you... you are… are sealed!" The Utroms robotic face frowned and laughed. "And I am the evil one? This will be interesting. So your master did know how dangerous and dark you are… I can only wonder what you did."

"And remark dangerous. Wow! This is too much." the Time Mistress frowned. "Got to consult it with the elders, Mr Utrom, sir." She said disappearing in a portal behind her shaking her head not that happy apparently.

"So you do want me dead after all? That is new." Leonardo said intrigued. Yes this was bad dream. She would wake up soon and not liking a bit being ignored as an experiment of sorts. "Maybe I should end with you now, and get this over with." She sighed this really was a nightmare and shook her head.

"This changes everything, maybe I will have to give you a fighting chance?" The Utrom said reluctant.

"How nice of you. What is the catch?" She asked sarcastically.

"You will do something for me." the Utrom replied unfazed.

"I won't kiss you!" she warned, frankly disgusted. "I don't care what that general was to you under no reason I will..."

The Utrom laughed "Why would I ask that? No, one week by my side to show you the reality of the world you so vehemently protect. Who knows? You might come to me on your own free will.

"Never!" she said. This had gotten way too bizarre. It must be one of those Mikey's weird pizzas, and she just glared at him. "And we have taken you down enough times to brag I think I'd rather…" she sneered.

"… Fight me?... I assume you have, but I am much more that I was, I am truly the Shredder now, thanks to you and your brethrens, I have inherited his will fully. I am more than a namesake now." He said making a dark sphere appeared on his hands. "But enough about me." he said approaching. "Would you wear this for me? For your human friends' sake perhaps." he said taking a metal bracelet out as well as receiving a hockey mask from a tray a Foot soldier had brought.

She caught the mask, and contained a scowl.

"Allies can be such a pain when they can't defend themselves properly. How long would he last against the Elite, I wonder." Considering the way Leonardo looked at him he added: "Don't worry, they are fine for now. It is just to show how easy it would be." He said. "You can even call them to verify." he offered the phone.

She sighed. "A transmitter? So you can get to the lair? No way... A collar of sorts, forget it!"

"Your lair? It did not even cross my mind. Should I want that, I would simply search for the Tachyon radiation time travelers emit. An easy task with the technology I now have access to, as I did with you, had I not seen you that day in the evolved form you have now I would have never noticed I would say you made me overreact that time and I was deeply disappointed when the Elite got to you, you weren't ready after all. It's just a token. A weapon actually... Her weapon that will make you remember the inevitability of your fate by my side. Catch!" he said throwing it at her.

"Fate...inevitability... We will see about that..." she said giving him a defiant glare, not sure why she was asking as the bracelet affixed by itself to her wrist causing her a sharp pain.

The Utrom was apparently content with the bracelet's reaction. "Were you a life bringer, I would say you are her. Absurd indeed, but then you would have come willingly to me, so I say, let's give you a fighting chance. The honorable duel you always wanted, so you realize the futility of your efforts. How much time you need?... Fighting out of convalescence?"

She sighed _And he knows and cares about that because…? _Trying not to focus on the discomfort. "6… No, 4 months." she stated, refraining the cold sweat. "And I will mop the floor with you."

"Granted." the Utrom said. "Now I take my leave. The universe will not get conquered by itself, after all."

"By the way you won't remember this meeting. Just that you need to train and get well and that you are sealed. You should find out why."

"And that is because...?" She said warily.

She felt a sharp pain coming from the bracelet and a blinding pain that brought her to her knees as the pain was unbearable. The Utrom approached her and touched her cheek. "Don't fight it, accept it." he said, relieving the pain, the confusion everything. And she felt terrible for it made her feel filthy.

"Conflicting duties?...Hmm...Your master really mess you up, young warrior. Don't fight what you are, it will only bring you pain. 3 month from now, **I will seek you**. Wherever you are, I will know, even if I have to blast this whole island to find you and drag you from your lair. I need to get acquainted with you after all. Should I fail to find you, I would execute someone. Now, be well and rest." He said disappearing through the door. "Take your time, no one will bother you here. It could be yours if you wished it to be but you won't accept anything from me. I learned my lesson; but still, should you require anything, don't hesitate to request my aid."

Leonardo looked at the bracelet on her wrist, feeling it stung her skin having another wave of memories accompanied by a sharp headache but she was not going to let him have his way. "Cheater!" she said forcing herself over the pain, controlling it and overcoming it. _You don't train your mind for nothing afterall_. "Yes I am the pain. Embrace the pain." she innerly recited. A quote from _Dune_ she had always loved. "I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone, there will be nothing. Only I will remain."

Somehow drastic but it worked, she had liked that movie. Finally collecting herself; she spat at the already gone Utrom. "Ch'rell You always underestimated me, accepting fate has never suit me well and I don't care if I have to battle time itself now, I will defeat you and, I guess, Master we are in for a long talk."

* * *

**Authors´s notes**

Thanks again to Lady-Kassy for her beta of this massive chapter.

Thanks for those who review. Since this chapter was so grim for Leo, they demanded a parody chapter hope you enjoy the written OMAKE (parody).

Tang Shen: Eris apple in all series. In the 2003 series she was one of the wards of the Ancient One and she chose Yoshi over Mashimi, (a whole world out there and it end as a deadly love triangle) and Mashimi resentful went to the Shredder and it resulted in Tang Shen's death by his hands (children show she just died), later Mashimi in the hands of the Shredder for his failureand finally Yoshi. In the original series she is the apple between the reason why Oroku Nagi Hamato Yoshi and was killed by Oroku Saki along with Yoshi.


	36. OMAKE bonus chapter

All TMNT characters are copyrighted by Mirage studios and were created by Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird. And this is a non-profit fanfic.

* * *

**Extraordinary meeting for A Little Secret Story (OMAKE)  
**

Knock knock

Raph: Leo? You coming?

Leonardo:"No way!" .

Raph:"You are coming even if I have to drag you; Fearless. It is your fault anyway you and your damn popularity."

A tied and gag Leonardo arrives carried by Raph and Don.

Author: Well as you know we have been having a little technical problem with the story so I have decided to gather all of you today to coax you into working with me on some issues.

Don: Little? This is more tangled than a gordonian knot. Do I keep Leo at the end?

Leo: In your dreams... and I have just the sword for a certain author and knot.

Author: Mental note: don't anger the main sword wielding character again. Well as I was saying...

Mikey: When am I getting more lines? I am the talkative turtle and I look like an incidental character.

Leo: Yeah! Like you got so much to say. But I have plenty by the end of this I am taking that celibacy vow you hear? I mean, the Shredder? I am feeling like I am in a harem show of sorts. What next? LH and Casey? Who are you missing? Maybe the tribunal… Yes that would work and why not the Triceraton? The Y'linthian guardian? There are plenty of characters you can pick! Klunk and Hun are available too.

Author: As I was saying. Let's not get sarcastic…

Shredder: and you are complaining? Why would my great being be even interested when I could be happily plundering the galaxy?

Karai: I deserve more lines and why I was not invited?

Raph: Do I get to kiss the girl?

Leo: You are going to kiss my fist first!

**The tribunal demands airing time!**

Author: Who called you? You were incidental in the series. I mean, what is so great about you? I only got one of your names…

Tribunal white face guy: But we are the tribunal!

Author yeah, yeah. Order So.

Mikey: More lines.

Leo: You know what? I am out!

Due to technical difficulties the reunion was canceled until we trap the main character again.


	37. Prelude

All TMNT characters are copyrighted by Mirage studios and were created by Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird. And this is a non-profit fanfic.

* * *

"_Look father I can dance like the dragon from my dream__." the young turtle said, playing with a fan. _

"_L__eonardo! Never do that again!" Her stern father's reply had been as he took the fan from her hands._

* * *

**Prelude**

Leonardo awoke, cold, sweating in the cargo plane and looked at the watch. It would still be a good 4 hours more. The hours before her departure had been a torment, and it had taken all her might not to scream. She did not know what to feel anymore and, to tell the truth, she did not want to know. They were already worried enough and she was not going to answer questions about the lovely adornment on her wrist which kept causing her pain. _I was such a fool._ But then, it was the Shredder and he was not joking, so she had really no other choice. _Casey you owe me big time!... _

"Who am I kidding?" she said as she sneaked into the cargo plane that would take her to the other side of the country._ I brought this on myself. Me and my stupid self-sufficiency… I let him tangle me. Again. _She sighed

She somehow knew the Foot would have taken her half around the world had she asked, but she did not feel like owing them any favors. The idea was just... disturbing. The whole idea was and the prospect of spending a week by the Utrom's side was just… Agh! She really did not want to think about it. The idea of letting a spirit possess her sounded even less attractive; and so were those memories from that creature. _Admit it you enjoy it! You are thrilled to know he is after you again!_

"Dark half, shut up!" She said. **Were you a her**... C**an you protect them from you?** She was not going into that because that was... _pristine beaches… chirping birds_. She collected herself.

For some reason whenever she tried to repress her feelings or had inner conflict develops, the damn thing stung and badly, and, considering she had to remain silent, it just was inconvenient. It almost felt alive. She wondered what it really was as it felt oddly familiar, like the cape but not comforting. _A weapon? _But for whom? And it made no sense. To her, it appeared to be a sort of restraining device. One the Shredder had control over and that was just… she was out of words.

As she crawled in a corner, her mind wandered to another topic she had been trying to avoid. And until now had been successful: Donatello. She blushed and brought her hand to her lips. Don had kissed her? She sighed. _Just great._ His growing feeling for her had been obvious for a while, but she had been... trying to dismiss them or had been in denial. It was just... who was she kidding? There was no way it was just a matter of instincts. Actually she was lucky Raph had not tried yet and, had she not thrown him, who knew what would have happened?

However a part of her wished to indulge the thought of wanting to be loved and cared about for no specific reason.

"Don is really... ah…" She had been reading too much romantic novels lately and though she did not watch soaps she was aware of their plot. She sighed. Her instinctual side was having a party over the attention while her rational mind brought her down to Earth and to the unavoidable comparison as she headed to the Ancient One's old refugee in Japan, the one and only Tang Shen_._

The downfall of the Ancient One's household, the source of rift between Yoshi and Mashimi. She wondered, though Mashimi had always been less inclined to be a model student, if it had been probably Tang Shen who had drove him to the edge when she favored one of them. In Leo's opinion, that was absurd, she had options outside, many humans to choose from, they all had choices and still, it had gotten deadly. She shivered at the faith of Tang Shen, for she was not as naïve as to think Mashimi had just killed her. It would be too simple and she knew about humans. Who knew? Maybe it was Tang Shen herself who had ended her own fate before or after facing disgrace.

Considering the upbringing she had had, it would be predictable. That gave her shivers but she could not blame her though she felt she had done more damage in the end dying forfeits your odds of achieving enlightment or redemption or whatever she thought that is why a samurai is doomed to be reborn as samurai. '_I will never change after all.'_ She thought, a bit comforted but she was the innocent victim: after all it had been Mashimi's fault. She was not going to blame it on her after all and she did not want to go on own treacherous feeling toward her enemy, they were too complex. _Why can't I hate him? I am truly worthless_.

_Let's not think about it_. In her case… Well, unless by some miracle, they were not interested, their bloody instincts were. It was quite clear to her: there weren't any choices available after all and it was only her. Will always be only her. She would hate that her presence will tear her clan apart like Tang Shen had. She was not being conceited, she was being realistic. The arguments had already started and had blown out of proportion in the days she neglected her odor control. Raphael and Donatello had already started a sort of territorial battle for her and Mikey was part of it too, in his own sneaky way. The idea of things getting too rough, of one of them being harm or killed... She shook her head. Mikey had already been harmed after all. She had already considered the two options. And these were no options at all as turtles males were territorial, Two dejected turtles hating and probably plotting against the chosen one or an eternal fight between the chosen three… They could not make their minds about what TV show to watch. Sharing was not their strength - it had never been - and being completely honest, even if they could, she would hate herself for she would feel disgraced to be reduced to a mere thing to be fought about, even if they weren't related, something Don had been quick to let her know about him, and knowing Mike was related to him as he had been quite loud about it and as Raph had not made any comments, it was safe to assume they were brothers, but in arms only...

And then there was the third path she had begun considering: she stepping away a path the Shredder was kindly offering her or rather forcing on her in his own twisted and selfish way. It was even honorable, she mocked: self sacrifice for the Earth and her family and perhaps the Universe as well. She just needed to play it right. She laughed.

"Who said the universe hated me if it gives me such great choices? I even got the Null Time Order on my shell." Being an unwanted glitch on the time line would have depress anyone but to Leonardo, considering the gigantic tangle she was in now, it was one of the truths of the universe she had learn to accept. On the other hand, what she was not going to forgive was being lied to by her own master and that had really gotten to her.

Deception was an inherent part of the shinobi path; she knew and accepted it as always. Had Splinter been only her Master, she would not question it, but he played the father and had lied to her about what? was what she was about to find out, what she needed to find out: since her knowledge of seals was anything but comforting and she needed the facts before letting her imagination fly.

"What kind of name was 'Ancient One' anyway?" she wondered as she boarded the ship in San Francisco after a brief restocking in China town darker alleys. Even the Tribunal masters had mentioned their names and they were supposed to be more impressive and ancient, so it sounded as a name to keep them off his case more than anything. Besides Tang Shen sounded Chinese. But well, the Ancient One was quite his own case and master. Something she no longer saw within her grasp as of now she was living on a tight schedule.

The turtle reached the path to the Ancient One. She bowed to the guardians. _Yeti?_ She wondered. They did not fail to comment on how puny and childish she was though she could tell they were wary around her this time: she could sense their fear '_They fear me?'_ she thought with a pang of guilt. _No, I must be imagining things_.

"Yours are always words of wisdom." she said, humbly bowing. "That is why I seek the master again for I have strayed from the path."

"The Ancient One already sent you off! Trying again is foolish at best, puny baby, but your mistakes are yours." they said, granting her access.

She wandered through the terrain, having memorized the path already from her second visit and it was uneventful at best. She had learnt to avoid the ghost trails and not to pick battles and wondered if they were fallen warrior of old who had failed to find rest. Even demons, maybe. She did not have the time to pry on their secrets and they were not interested on her either. Perhaps that was her future: to wander around some deserted battle field, atoning for her faults. Maybe this whole thing was a sort of punishment for her.

"Kumquat, what ya doin' here 'gain? You still strive for perfection child." The wise man said meeting her at the entrance gate.

"Do I even have a choice?" the bitter turtle retorted. She threw herself at the ground with her forehead touching the dirt as a symbol of respect. "Please, master, receive this unworthy student into your tutelage once again." she almost begged.

"Raise! You not my student! Leave!" he ordered to the confused Leonardo who could not manage to repress a wince of pain, clenching her fists but not rising.

"I know I am a disappointment, a disgrace to my training and master, a blood tainted worthless makeshift warrior but… please…" She started trembling, feeling her wrist burn and a sharp headache start as all the weight of the previous months finally taxed her. Fighting the tears she felt were starting to cloud her eyes as she was trying to focus and regain control. "Please…I brought c…chocolate." she said taking the candy bag out of her coat and placing it like an offer, losing consciousness.

A strong herbal smell woke her and she looked at the unfazed Ancient One who gave her a puzzled look and help her stand.

"All things that are, all the training you can achieve, remember nothing beats a good night sleep." the fat Ancient man said. "I take chocolate, we talk morning, you too tired, you too... we talk morning."

* * *

**Author's notes**

Thanks again to Lady-Kassy for her beta

Thanks for your reviews I am glad you liked the Omake.

The main character refused to speak for a while and the other ones were not on cooperating either and I saw clip from a TMNT anime series and of the musical, yes there was musical that practically brain scarred me and the BttS new series well it has not really met my standards I am suspecting they have dropped Karai completely and she elope with Chaplain but then why include her in the movie and we should have suspected it will take more that 4 dragons destroying his body to finish the Tengu Shredder "he lives!"and what is with the character design now April looks 12?, and hello you just lost Splinter why is everyone so calm and OOC particularly Leo come on getting hit by Casey? they weren't precisely slacking on the future but hopefully it is too soon and it will regain the 2003 tone or will be drop like FF. Bye Cody have to agree but Serling is there? wasn't he like the least liked character in the whole series history and did not inorganic matter had to stay behind like their weapons.

I just noticed they still had their soul weapons by the end of last season, but they no longer had them is the new series so I am sticking to the scene were the Tengu Shredder took them all or the Tribunal must have ask for them back, come on Mikey goofing around with a weapon capable to induce a typhoon. Scary.


	38. Pieces of a puzzle

TMNT characters are copyrighted by Mirage studios and were created by Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird. And this is a non-profit fanfic.

* * *

"You don't trust me not to tell, yet I have kept my mouth shut." Don said defensively, feeling the admonishing gaze he was getting. _'She would not disembowel me right? She was bluffing right?' _

* * *

**Pieces of a Puzzle**

Donatello was shocked and could not move from the spot he was. April got the hint. "I should not have?"

Don just shook his head slightly gulping, not daring turn his back.

"OK, never mind." April said.

"Hey Ape! Nice seeing you!" Mikey irrupted giving April a big hug. "What is going on Don?" He asked. "You look pale."

"Yes," the also arriving Raph agreed, narrowing his glare. He had heard part of the conversation but had not been following it with attention as Mikey had yelled something at the moment the name was mentioned. "Who is female?"

"None. The other day April thought I…"

"A friend of mine" April intervened. "A confused teen we are both acquainted with. I told Don he reminded me of her like a younger sister so I asked him if he was…"

"Angel?" Mikey said. "She is in trouble? … Wait… You asked him if he was a g…?" Mike started laughing uproariously.

"No…Not at all!" Don retorted, failing miserably to sound collected as he felt Splinter's stern glare on his back.

"Are you one, brainiac?" Raph exclaimed, surprised watching Don carefully observing how he shook his head, turning as purple as his bandanna. He continued: "April mistook you for a girl! Hahahaha" Raph exploded in laughter.

"Dude, you and purple! You were practically asking for it." Mike added joining the prank.

"Very funny! I am not a girl! And purple is not girly." Don said, trying to stop the teasing.

"Says the guys from the parade. Well if ya coming out of the closet, just count me out or I will beat the hell out of ya. Oh, and there is a parade you and Cinderella can join." Raph managed to say between the laugh.

"Yes dude. You probably can lead it as one grouchy stepmother." Michelangelo said defensively. "You would look cute in a tutu."

'I'll show you tutu, shell fer brains." Raph growled, heading to pummel the fleeing Mike.

"Right?" April said not sure what to say anymore or what to think about the turtles' attitude.

"So, April, to what we owe the honor of your visit? You know is not safe to visit the sewers on your own, less of all, the lair, as you could be followed." Splinter interrupted the unmerciful teasing of Donatello by his brothers, eying him carefully.

"Right… er…won't happen again….Leo's stuff… I brought them." she said handing it to Donatello whispering a subtle "Sorry, later..."

Leo's mention was enough to crush the mood as Raphael stop chasing Michelangelo and they all went dead silent.

"Where is Leo by the way? Is he OK" April asked, confused. However she got the hint when no one answered. "Another journey?" she said sarcastically.

"He needed some time on his own to collect his thoughts. We hope to see him back soon. Have a safe return home April…Raphael! Michelangelo! Please, escort her back …Have you set a date yet?"

"We want you all there so I will postpone it until his return so when you know, please tell me." she replied, looking at the unreadable rat sensei. "Have a pleasant evening, sensei"

Just as Donatello was about to sigh in relief, Splinter's voice was heard. "Donatello! Meet me in my quarters. We need to talk. Now!" he ordered, heading towards the rice paper sliding doors.

"Dude, what did you do?" Mike wondered out loud, noticing the tone in his master's voice.

"Fitting fearless shoes ain't easy, right sista?" Raph spat, patting him kind of hard on the back.

"You have no idea Raph. You have no idea." Don said pushing him away.

* * *

"Please seat." Splinter said with his back turned, clenching in his paws a letter he had received that morning from the Ancient one, summoning Leonardo to appear before the Tribunal. The shy and wishing he was a shadow Don ventured into his father's quarters as if he was heading to the gallows.

"Could you explain what I just heard?" he asked, turning to face Don, lashing his tail in a very atypical tick Donatello had only seen in him when things got really bad.

"Well… a little misunderstanding…. between April and I that is all." Don replied, averting his fathers glare. He sucked at lying but he could bend and embellish the facts in an incomprehensible jargon to make his attention deviation intents as convincing as possible. Not entirely lying as he had been doing, the issue was it was master Splinter and he did not have Leo's poker face to play. Shell! Leo could convince you the sky was purple and clouds made of cotton candy and still maintain her honesty halo, never breaking a sweat. Don had found that much about her in the last months. But he was clear as water and Splinter saw right through him… 10 out of 10 times, he had to admit.

Shell! He was already sweating even before Splinter had asked the question and he really did not know what or how much had his father heard but he was in for a throughout interrogation that would probably make him spill the beans.

"What was Leonardo going to tell us the night he went missing?" Splinter asked, glaring at his son sternly. "Was he going to inform us of something? Was Leonardo going to speak in your stead my son? It's no sin to be who you are and whatever path you choose, you can count on your family as long as you respect the ones around you… Coming out the closet, as humans say?" Splinter said carefully "err... Should I start calling you Donna from now on, my… son?"

_Why does everyone think I am a__ girl and Leo is not? Man that joke is getting old._ Don's jaw dropped slightly and he remained silent, facing an impossible choice: either he let Splinter believe he was Donna and endure teasing that was bound to come from his two tactful and sensitive brothers about him being a drag queen or he would have to lose Leo's trust and earn her wrath upon her return _if... when _he tried to reassure himself averting his father's glare. _But then, she had basically told him it was OK during the party_, but still she might not remember that part. She might not even remember she was a she considering the reaction he had seen. Why was Leo so spooked this time, when she had been so level headed the first time? W_ell yeah, except for Ms Leo Hyde…_ he shivered.

_W__hat had he done to deserve this?_ He disliked conflict so how had he gotten into this? His life had been so peaceful aside from the weekly psycho trying to kill them or them getting involved in the most absurd situations, though fortunately they almost always happen with Leo being around, except the whole Karai's vendetta, otherwise they would be goners by now. Peaceful but still goners.

He stopped that line of thought and he suddenly reflected how much easier his life had been before he meddled with Leo's secrets,_ Curiosity will definitely kill this turtle_, he had to admit. But life without Leo had been boring actually. IT job coffee, sleepless nights, the occasional energy drink, fixing the things that got broken or deteriorated, never feeling any ounce of gratitude. He had truly missed her even before and he would do it again. He had to recognize he would not trade being Leo's confidant for anything, though he could live without some of those secrets but the real issue now was he used to live below the radar of his father's interrogations, but now it had gotten frequent: Don had been having issues in this last weeks with his father's decisions regarding Leonardo, no matter how he analyze it. Sending an obviously disturbed turtle alone was absurd and his inability to stop it as she had just left had been rewarded by a constant the dread of not knowing were she was, if she was all right… What if Raph was right? and she was…? He did not even want to imagine it.

_Leo is smarter than tha__t and she is not a quitter_. But she would need someone to support her. Someone she could trust at least a bit so he could not bring himself to betray Leo's trust no even to his father so he now was between his father's cane and Leo's swords as one would say_. Drag queen it is, _he sadly concluded. Starting to concoct his reply to his father regarding animal behavior variants, the season of the year, the position of the stars and such. But was suddenly interrupted by Splinter who lifted his head almost brusquely with his paw.

"Donatello!" Splinter said raising his voice thumping his cane on the floor to get his attention. "I am talking to you, what was Leonardo going to tell us?"

He barely manage to blurt, not really able to focus, reacting to his father's voice but still retaining his grip. "Leo's business! Ask Leo when Leo returns… Don't make me lose Leo's trust, please." He almost begged. That had come out worse than he had imagined. He sighed, refraining an impulse to slap himself, which would just be the icing of his dismal response to pressure from his father.

"So you are keeping something important." Splinter stated sighing releasing him. "Your loyalty to Leonardo is commendable, but concealing what could be important information is absurd. We are your family! And as your father I demand to know what is happening. I am at my limit with Leonardo's secrecy but for his sake I had endured it, hoping he'd know what he was doing; but I won't tolerate it from you. Am I to believe the comments from Raphael have some truth behind them and… you were pressuring you brother into something he was not…comfortable with?" Splinter said looking at Don sternly.

Don jaw dropped. What had that nosy Archelon Neanderthal told his father? Did he even want to know? "That is preposterous. Give Leo some credit and I would never harm her!"

"Her?" questioned Splinter sternly, trying to process it.

"Him. I meant him." Don blurted trying to fix his mistake.

"Explain!" The master commanded.

Don remained silent, not wanting to answer and sighed: he had just blown it, and foresaw disembowelment in the near future. "No father. I am not saying anything more and if you wish to banish me to the ancient Fat one too, I will comply." He would be more than happy to be near Leo again.

"I did not banish Leonardo!" Splinter said raising his tone momentarily and then softening it. "He needs…advice I cannot give."

"Like in Counseling?!" retorted Don letting all the frustration pour out. "And why don't you send Raphael too? He sure could use temper control. Or Mike, so he can finally grow up. And why not me, since I am such a proficient ninja addicted to caffeine? No! You sent, alone, a very confused and messed turtle with post traumatic stress, who trust no one and has serious self esteemed issues, to someone who already turned her down and made her feel worthless. Someone who serves 4 immortals who don't give a damn about Leo, no matter what she does. And you tell me that is not banishment?"

"You know nothing of Leonardo my son, and I don't have to justify my decisions to you!"

"No father! It is you who knows nothing of Leonardo." Donatello said finally.

Splinter sighed deciding to step back and play it differently as Donatello did not react well to threats or punishment as Michelangelo and Raphael did, and certainly not to filial piety and duty as Leonardo. Only to reason and that made him his hardest son to negotiate with, unless Leonardo was around which was the reason they were in this mess in the first place. He also had grown to depend too much on the blue clad turtle.

"I think my son we both have pieces of a puzzle regarding your brother we have kept for his sake, but I believe if we have any chance of reaching him we need to see the whole picture. You see your brother is…. Missing." he said painfully. "And has been for at least 5 weeks."

Don sighed heavily. Too long for the trip back, his father was right, he had too admit that was what he had been trying Leo to do for months and even if it cost him Leo's enmity forever, having her safe in the lair was worth it.

Splinter breath falter he would have to talk first after all "What I am about to tell you happen long ago I still don't understand all of it and… I must start by asking you what do you remember of Leonardo as a child my son?"

* * *

**Author's notes**

Thanks again to Lady-Kassy for her beta of this chapter

Thanks to dozer, deathoftoast and 54viruses for their reviews. Don the time line environmentalist not even Renet gets that worried well bad example.

I mean yeah I drag you to the Cretaceous in the vicinity of the asteroid hitting the Earth but you don't have to give me the cold shoulder treatment.

Thanks to Light of Reason for the idea for the first part of this chapter could not resist using it.

Next chapter is long and Splinter and the Ancient One finally speak.

Regarding Don's attitude on the latest movie Don was bickering to Splinter for not sending Raph away instead so he does speak his mind even to his father.

About the Ancient One is a character that appears on the 4th Season that is supposed to be Hamato Yoshi master. He is a Java mixed with Yoda character with a complete lack of manners. Leonardo gets out of control ends hurting Splinter and is sent to him in a sort of pilgrimage. The odd part is the first time Splinter reached him with the turtles he was living in a small town or city but when Leonardo goes to him 10 or 13 years later he was living in his own twilight zone like sanctuary that was bordered by a great wasteland crawling with ghouls and ghosts he even had yeti doormen. Is unclear if he moved to the Tribunal sanctuary talking about which wasn't it sort of far from anything and virtually unaccessible so how did Splinter and 4 baby turtles manage to follow him there Portal express?

Archelon is a extinct variety of turtle that lived in the Cretaceous in case you wondered and Neanthertal well you know that the kind of insult Don would use on Raph.


	39. Revelations

All TMNT characters are copyrighted by Mirage studios and were created by Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird. And this is a non-profit fanfic.

* * *

"_Leonardo? Who is that__? A mystery, indeed." The blue clad turtle said._

* * *

**Revelations  
**

Donatello sighed and collected his thoughts still angry. Leonardo training, Leonardo meditating, Leonardo helping Father with the scavenge trips... Leonardo reading them stories, babysitting them, giving up a toy for Mikey, sweets for Raph, defending him against Raph's and Mickey's teasing and preventing him to get injured in his wild experiments, acting like the adult most of the times, never slacking, always putting them before herself, always training, always expecting the unexpected as she said as a mantra. Her mentality was a bloody Murphy law book. What did his father mean? "Responsible? Very responsible" he finally said, unsure.

The rat nodded. "Have you ever seen Leonardo at ease?" Splinter asked. "Even in his sleep?"

Don shivered: she slept ready to jump into action and always woke before them and usually went to sleep after them. As long as he could remember, he had seen that, even intoxicated or completely unconscious, there was a sort of feeling of control, now that he thought about it, the sort control Leo had over her mind was... "Neo quality." and that was unnatural.

"You must have noticed Leonardo's training has always been stricter than yours." Splinter stated.

Don remained silent, processing it: Yeah, he had not made Raphael face his Entomophobia (fear of bugs), or Mike's goofiness and still allowed him to keep his night lamp for his Nyctophobia and even his panda bear great ninja Mikey was: afraid of the dark, had said nothing on his bad habits regarding losing sleep or his endless browsing which borderline addiction, but Leo… He had forced her in a very dramatic way to overcome her Acrophobia (fear of heights) and she was not even leader back then, as he found out when Leo had been seriously injured when they all shared their childhood tales of Leo hoping to call her back. _"Gotta practice I will catch with you later to play." _as she remained in the dojo for hours. Everyone could get away with less than perfect katas but Leo, she did get praised once in a while but only because her movements had finally rivaled, if not surpassed, her father's, not before. '_I was not the healthiest as we grew up?' _Yet he could not recall Leo being sick.

"Of the four of you, I believe Leonardo was the least fit to follow the shinobi path: his soul was much too gentle for it, and his health was not the best yet he is the only of you to have undergone the full rigor of the shinobi training, the only … the one who probably does not think of himself as a son but as a tool of the clan." Splinter stopped, closing his eyes.

"So you were grooming him to be the leader from childhood? Making Leo your ultimate ninja, right? The weapon and shield of the clan!" Don said, liking this less and less by the minute because it seemed unfair. _So it was not only Leo's decision apparently._

Splinter sighed and shook his head. "To tell the truth, I always thought you or Raphael would be the most appropriate leaders, but Leonardo has always managed to change things, defying odds and overcoming everyone's expectations, starting by this old rat's. In a sense, your brother is a mirage: he is not a natural born athlete, like Michelangelo, that is why he spends so much time in the dojo; nor naturally strong like Raphael, he was actually weak before he started training. He has a quick mind but not as yours, he does need to focus because his mind wanders too much. That is one of the reasons he meditates: to keep himself grounded. Nothing has come easy to your brother, everything he has achieved is the result of hard work, discipline and a stubborn refusal to give up and accept fate. What he did have was a very compassionate soul and an extremely sensitive spirit and he felt everything too intensely..."

"Father you are making those sound as if they were defects." Don said. _'Mirage'_… His father had the oddest way to refer to Leonardo: unable to train, unable to feel anything…. no wonder Raphael thought she was prone to run away.

"They are for shinobi." Splinter said seriously, looking at Donatello straight in the eyes. "And that, your brother understands."

* * *

She headed clumsily to the outskirt room she had used while there the last time by herself, she still felt a bit dizzy and clumsy and she curled against the wall taking a short respite. Once she had calmed down enough, she decided she was too tired to sleep. _OK… scared, _as things got downright eerie in her dreams lately, from off world landscapes, things she was not sure if they were glimpses from her childhood, and other odd things. She decided to take a short stroll to see the orchard she had been tasked the first time she was there, to learn patience and control probably. She was relieved to see the Ancient One had not forsaken it again as it was in full bloom. She picked one of the pears and she felt some peace. The plants, the air, the animals around… She felt as though the oppression on her chest had been eased: this truly was a sanctuary, and a small selfish part of herself wished she could remain here, forget everything and just be. She even felt like humming the tune of a lullaby her father used to calm her with. _Wait I needed to be calm? Why?_

A cold dark feeling began to ooze from inside making her shiver. **Protect them from you.** She giggled nervously. She closed her eyes and hummed. She needed to find a train of thought and fast because that helped the damn thing to stabilize as the beach landscape was no longer doing the trick. _What story would be similar? Witch, step mother… Why did most of evil ones were female? That sucks_… Well there was one with an evil daughter … _Ondine_…_Swan Lake!_ _Yes like Odette…_ _Wait, the wizard wanted to marry her_… _creepy...and the prince dies……?_ Terrible pick! She slapped herself. _I won't allow that, no matter what happens to me_. She breathed slowly. _Let's not get gloomy, it is not as if the universe hated me, right? We will sort it out as always. I am part of the hero team after all, right?_

**A**** singularity? **

She shook her head trying to push away the knowledge she had obtained from the reluctant and intoxicated Renet: creatures that, for some obscure reasons, became threats to the time line. They were not special or powerful just… inconvenient and if not stopped early, harbingers of disaster. _But that was Renet._ She giggled, half the time she forgot where her staff was, so she could have mistaken her or was plotting something. Why was Renet entrusted with something so… transcendental as a Time Staff? Well, the universe was mysterious indeed. She could not even feel betrayed because it would be Renet doing her duty, just as it had been hers to draw the Shredders' wrath towards her family. She sighed. Maybe Raphael was right._ I would have spared them all the troubles…_ _I just did not think that._

She looked at the full moon as she headed back to the room and felt her cheek stung. _What was about that creature?_ She wondered, feeling guilty. It had felt sort of nice as a comforting energy wrapped her and soothed her, but considering the source, it was just creepy… _Infatuated?_ She laughed, thinking it absurd. Well if one read the stories, anything could be possible: the 100 year old sleeping beauty just accepted the advances of a complete stranger after all, who was not even a prince in the original. _I would have punched him in the face._ A princess kissed a toad? …_Icky overgrown brain_, she remembered feeling disgusted,_ and I am not princess material. Fortunately. They are usually so pathetic: they have to wait for someone to save them and decide their lives_.No, it was something else, which was good, but she could not place the feeling… She was not used to them. Shell! She did not even want them, had made a great effort to get rid of them. It felt disturbingly familiar to what she felt in this place. **Quiet the voices make the unease stop**_**. **__Sanctuary? _She wondered deeply disturbed.

"If problem has a solution what's your worry? If it has not, why you worry?" Ancient One's wisdom, pragmatic as always interrupted. "Go sleep!" the Ancient One commanded smacking her.

She rubbed her head, going back to the room… Well, at least he was friendlier than last time, maybe it was a good sign. She sighed, wondering what she had thought she could achieve here. _Help? Sanctuary?_ She could laugh. _They will not interfere._ And when he learnt of her gigantic blunder… _I will be kicked out, no doubt._ No matter his go with flow style. _It must have hurt,_ she thought suddenly, looking at how the Ancient One who had stayed behind, looking at a duck followed by its ducklings. Another pawn in the Tribunal's chessboard: he could not save his own family, not even avenge them. Why would he intercede on her behalf before the tribunal? To tell the truth, though she had been awed when she originally met them, she had grown to dislike them deeply, which was probably mutual, after the whole story had been revealed so the convoluted plan was: forsake master Yoshi to the Utrom Shredder so later his pet's surrogate sons would fight the original. _A prophecy of sorts?_ She wondered. Was that supposed to be a sound plan? What were they doing during almost 2 millennia waiting? The whole thing was careless and selfish at best. Had it been her, she would not have delegated such an important task letting it to "fate". She would owe that much to a former brother in arms, even fallen, she remembered with certain pity the decayed phantom they had fought, probably insane after such a long confinement, and the apparently immortal Tribunal had an unnatural feeling to them. What were they after all this years? Certainly not human, but not ghosts either. Forces of nature the Ancient One had said, but they had been mortal once and that pretty much contradicted it for even the most virtuous of creatures would have flaws and weaknesses that would make them unworthy. No _Earth bound spirits_ probably cursed to roam the Earth atoning for their own weakness and sins no very different from the apparitions of the wastelands that surrounded the sanctuary. _They have become Tengu,_ she thought amused, but forced herself to stop. _What is wrong with you? _She spat at herself. _They are venerable masters and I am going to request their help. _But no matter how she looked at it, _forsaking a brother in arms_…sealing him for millennia… _That is cruelty._ _They could have at least finished the job, it was their duty._ She tried to force another line of though to an inevitable comparison to what had happened to her recently: what if the real Saki was just trapped beneath the demon? _ I just did not play devil's advocate for that monster, _but the comparison was unavoidable, she had been powerless to stop it and then there was another comparison: if he had not been strong enough to break free, just like Don had been when he turned monster? She sighed. It had been her decision to make a deal with the devil, meaning Bishop, back then. _What if_, she though with dread_, the right choice would have been to let Don remain trapped in that thing and die_ _so the Shredder would remain in slumber_?

"I don't regret that decision and if the universe sees fit to punish me for it so be it! I can take it." She told herself.

_Why would they help me if they forsake their own and they do not even like me? Now I am getting personal. _But the Utrom had had the keys to unleash the evil for centuries probably: the heart of Tengu and the Y'linthian entity guardians? How did that made sense, she wondered. What else did they need to intervene? Why did a crisis needed to be raised?Too many things on her mind.

She bit the cloth of her sleeping bag to muffle a cry of pain, for conflicting emotions again made the damn bracelet react as she had learn by now.** Don´t fight it accept it. **_I am truly a mess._ Keeping her emotions under control had become just too much. She cleared her mind and fell asleep almost reluctantly: she no longer wanted to dream either.

"_So tell me youngling, had I been born one of your kind what would we be?" The Utrom asked in a rare quiet moment after a heated discussion on the means to an end after an aggressive take over on a system one of them had found excessive._

"_Nothing!" she replied with certainty, cleaning her gear methodically as she always did. "We are not meant to be anything... You would have been inner circle material groom to be a great warrior or leader and I would still be a freak and, either way, you would be dead and I would still be a ... freak! I am always a life bringer after all… and your kind is both and none? ... We have been in that path before and that leads to…disaster! And limbs are great after all." She chuckled, waving her 4 upper extremities, tantalizing._

The Utrom sighed. "_No, we are inevitably bound, we are just miscomprehended you and I are a perfect match we ..." The Utrom was saying. "...belong together. We are..."_

"…_similar? We are monsters...Don't delude yourself, Ch'rell, we are what we are; we met under this special conditions and for whatever reason I selfishly chose. Don't make more of it than it is, we see the universe differently, but still here we are...and this conversation is definitely going to get me killed." she said._

"_They won't take you from me, they won't cage you again that I swear" The Utrom promised, menacing._

_She chuckled to the others disconcert. "Why make promises you can't keep?" _

She awoke cold, sweating. Those dreams had become more frequent lately, and the least she wanted was getting more acquainted with her slimy suitor. She shivered. She had just not thought that and decided to start meditation mumbling a mantra:

From ignorance, lead me to truth;

From darkness, lead me to light;

From death, lead me to immortality

* * *

"Your brother was different from the rest of you: too kind, too caring and maybe too mature for his age, acting like your protector since a young age. He was a good kid overall, but sometimes he did things… that were…unusual."

"Wait, father, that was Mikey…" Don said, confused.

Splinter shook his head. "No. Leonardo had a certain eerie feeling to him and was prone to frequent accidents of the oddest kind as though someone or something was trying to harm him. The Ancient One had said his soul was not ready to be reborn sentient and was unconsciously trying to get free from its worldly prison, that he had unfinished business."

"Ancient One?" Donatello asked concerned. His father sounded a bit spooked of Leonardo.

"Your brother's frequent accidents were one of the reasons for the travel to Japan, aside from taking my master's ashes and it was also my biggest regret." Splinter explained.

"Regret? Wait, did not we return almost immediately? … The memory wiping?" Don asked. He had not been ecstatic of his mind being wiped considering the Triceraton guest treatment he had received and now he was preoccupied.

"Your brother's peculiarities managed to upset even the Tribunal," Splinter said remorseful.

* * *

The Ancient One looked at her with a bored glance. "Meditating problem away won't make them disappear. We just small sand grains in eternal dessert that cannot even imagine the greater landscape. Why did you delay so much?"

_Because you basically kick__ed me out last time I was here. _ Leonardo sighed before opening her eyes, breaking the meditation and trying to ignore the last part as she did not want to get sarcastic… _Greater landscape of Apple pie or NY Cheese cake?_ _I am hungry?_ Her stomach complained. _And why does he insist on practicing his broken English with me when I could understand Japanese?_ She truly had become caustic lately.

"What is you seek Kumquat? Do you even know_?" _The Ancient one asked. "Atonement? Enlightenment? Or a place to hide? You too tired. You too…"

"Dark and dangerous," she finished sarcastically, forcing herself back to a neutral tone. That sounded like a movie title. "No, for those I would not have come here to disturb you mas…venerable Ancient One. I did not return because I failed… completely. I could not… be a bystander as I should have, and I seek something specific this time: I seek knowledge on an enemy,…what is the truth behind the…. Shr.. Sh… Agh! The one we fought." she asked.

The Ancient old man narrowed his eyes "He gone! Not let old enemies' ghost trouble mind. The past is just an illusion… Did spirit fox tongue tie you?"

She nodded. "Tell me about it, could you?" She could not even finish. She begged, pointing at her mouth.

"Find kitsune (spirit fox) and apologize. Good luck."

She laughed ironically. "Yes, I will." _I will wring its neck until he does. Does he even have one? Guess not._

The Ancient one sighed. "Question…Not much you know not, former leader of the Tribunal, the once great, noble warrior Oroku Saki felt to temptation of the Tengu Shredder, Kumquat. But… that old story now, evil dispelled." The Ancient One said "You and family took him down, so worry not."

* * *

"Before we left the tribunal, they advised me to take good care of the 3 of you, the heroes' brethren in the making." Splinter said.

"Three…? What about Leo?" Don asked.

Splinter nodded. "They kept exchanging looks, almost puzzled. They did not know what to make of him. _There should be only 3,_ they said, _That one is an uncertainty._"

"An uncertainty?" Don repeated. "What did they do to Leonardo, father? Why were you so angry at them?" Don thought with dread that his father had been absolutely furious when they were summoned, which did not fit with the cute little image they had portrayed in the story where they kindly opened a portal back to New York.

* * *

_Did we really? What about a dark orb in that bastard's hands? Did I imagine that?_ She had hoped they would already know but it seemed the Ancient One, and therefore the Tribunal, were not omniscient. No creature could be all knowledgeable after all, and she, being unable to express herself clearly, just complicated things_. "_But what about the …Ten…gu…"_Success!_ "What was it? What about the link those who claim the name have? Are there curses behind it?" she asked. Apparently she did have a way around if she could ignore the pain on her wrist long enough.

The Ancient One looked at her again with unease "Curses?...I doubt even Tribunal can answer…truth nobody knows. Why you truly here?"

'_Should have known having a former member gone bad still stung after a few thousand years: they still kept the seat vacant, they probably could not finish him themselves.'_ "Why am I sealed? What was sealed in me? Why the Tribunal saw fit not to give me a soul weapon?" She asked almost commanding, forcing the bracelet in control or, rather, going with its flow.

The Ancient One sighed and narrowed his glare even if backing a bit. "Not my place to question tribunal decision… Why need know?"

_So it was the Tribunal__._ "That who goes into battle not knowing himself or his enemy puts his life in peril every time and is called a criminal, deranged fool, like an unstable sword who will cut friend and foe."

"Sun Tzu, 3, versicle 30 somethin'…. Is that what ya think? Ye are a sword? Ye have learnt nothin', Kumquat!" the old man said, annoyed. "I told you to try Lao Tse, better. Make right question so you get right answer."

Leonardo sighed and replied with her mind cool. "You only seal dangerous things to protect those around, so I am not safe to be around, right? That is why mine is not the way of the sword: you don't give a weapon to a liability."

The Ancient One sighed and shook his head "Na…way sword… breaking you pieces, soul weapon would make worse and that furnace decision; ya truly hard headed, Kumquat! Tribunal not enemy; I told Splitesan quite clearly last time: I can't fix ya. His decisions, his mistakes… he should have…"

* * *

"They tried to have a better understanding and asked us to stay for a night… That night I lost sight of your brother and he somehow ended in Shredder's containment chamber again. I don't know what happened but it took the four members of the Tribunal to contain whatever was unleashed and they sealed it in the nearest living creature."

"Leonardo?" Don said.

"I thought I could trust them, they were venerable masters…I should have known better... They did not think of him as nothing but a dangerous animal that should be… and they were having a heated discussion over his fate but in the end... They were bound by their own rules.

* * *

"_That one resonates with the Shredder's__ curse! Nothing good will come of him as it will be drawn to it?"_

"_Can we judge a child for something he has not done?" _

"_He is too much like he was…he could be that accursed spirit …He is a wild card. Can we risk it?" _

"_We can seal the awaken spirit and see how the events unfold…"_

Leonardo reacted, shaking her head. "Give me up! Says the one who sacrificed one daughter and a son to the Tribunal's plot!" Leonardo outburst.

The Ancient One sighed. "Now we truly talking, Kumquat. Hard fate for parent to bury 3 children, Mashimi, my child too…my mistake."

* * *

"When I got to him they had already sealed him and was given an unconscious child… I thought… he was dead and in a sense he was._" _Splinter said with dread.

"_Rat, that one might take you to your vendetta. That one will be called to his side and has to fight. Yet, is your choice: if you choose to keep him, he will be your responsibility; though we doubt he will live … We will be watching him." _

Donatello gulped. "They asked you to…?" Call to his side? '…_but although I knew from the beginning there was darkness, it was truly fascinating…'_

"Leave him behind to be … They said our lives would be peaceful without him. But I could not bring myself to do that: he was my son too… They did not see my loving and caring son, they did not know him and I chose as a father instead of as a master."

* * *

"The master takes both the good and bad students, does not judge. I have read the Tao Te too so I am in the Tribunal's point of view a mistake, a rotten apple in the mix after all, something that should have been discarded. Couldn't they at least tell me on my face what could they possibly be afraid of?" Leonardo asked, trying to remain calm but starting to speak her mind.

"Themselves… I believe you remind them of fallen comrade too much." the Ancient One answered finally.

"Sa…ki…Hi. Hit.. Hitsuzen?" Leonardo said clenching her fist battling the pain, keeping her calm face.

The Ancient One frowned and made his tone stern. "Hitsuzen…? Who have you been talking to?"

"Someone who tells the truth. Apparently the only one." Leonardo said ironically. "I guess I better leave. Thanks for your hospitality. You don't want a trouble magnet in you sanctuary, right? I will find the truth elsewhere. I mean, they forsook a comrade; they made you sacrifice your family… What was I expecting to achieve? I mean they…" she was annoyed.

The Ancient one sighed and muttered. "Fortunately, you not girl."

"Fortunately?" Leonardo exclaimed, collected and glaring at him.

The old man sighed again. "You holder or possessed, we really could not tell, by ancient yin, spirit one, the Tribunal understands not, one not ready to be reborn, one that attracts misfortune."

"One they sealed." she deduced.

The Ancient one nodded.

"Demon to fight demon…and a prophecy of sorts right? Can I…hear it?" Leonardo added, increasingly, irritated fixing her glare on the Ancient One.

The Ancient One reluctantly answered, almost feeling commanded. "Must understand: Tribunal human too once, all of them were in life debt to Saki: They tried to free him from the demon and…they sacrificed and betrayed someone for that purpose, tainting the dragon's honor."

"An ally?" Leonardo asked.

"An enemy actually, a very dark priestess they blame for Saki's downfall, one who called the tribunal meddling fools." The ancient One said.

* * *

_"Who can the curse break? The kappa brethren of 3 will. But beware! One equal darkness, roams its match yang enemy or ally, a choice, a sacrifice. Yin fate. The deceiver sings and dances. Dark spirit in making attracts great disaster, blood falls, redemption remains unknown."_

* * *

"They sealed Leo's emotions so the spirit would be in control?… They expected Leo to die!?" Don spat. This was a horror story after all.

* * *

"Darker than Shredder. The Tribunal would have… but all yang and not really kappa." The Ancient one said.

"They would have disposed of her for the greater good." Leonardo stated. This was just depressing. _Admit it, Universe: you do hate me_.

* * *

"They were adamant on letting your brother go. They wanted him supervised and locked away. And had it not been for the Ancient One's insistence of their abiding by their non interference rule and let the things show for themselves … that they could not blame a child for things that were beyond him, as they had with master Yoshi."

* * *

The Ancient One shrugged. "I like not think of that. I believe each creature chooses own fate. Predestination illusion. What did you learn from time alone, Kumquat?" The Ancient One told the troubled turtle.

"_I did not agree to this__." the dark priestess said. "I was to deliver the final blow! You are meddling in things you understand not and, for that, you shall be cursed, fake dragons.__ Until that broken soul is put to rest, yours will roam the Earth.__"_

She shook her head, the memories and visions had gotten worse. "Meddling makes things worst." she said dryly, remembering the events of the jungle. In the end, she still had doubts she had made a change.

"Why?" The Ancient one said.

"The curse of the hero." she replied ironically. "There is so much suffering, so much injustice… Yet there is so much a soul can carry and at the end only each individual can change its own fate and my family will continue, with or without me." she added heavily.

"Final lesson learnt! Illusions, the world is... Now you need your own guidance to develop your own voice, to grow up and become your own master… For your master cannot carry your burden for you anymore, for you no longer child. First time angry, second time lost, third time confused."

"I won't be stricken out…" she replied. "…No I… won't try to carry the world anymore…but I will do my best to protect those within my reach… Should I fail, someone will take my place and the world will continue turning."

"You try too much and you hurt family again. Stop battling yourself, Kumquat, not healthy. Until you learn that, I can teach nothing more to you."

* * *

'Yin fate?' Don thought concerned his father had stop abruptly.

"Leonardo got very bad after that: his mind became a sort of battlefield. He… changed and acquired a harder edge related to that entity sealed in him that has had to be controlled by meditation and training. He would also get … nightmares. Terrible nightmares… Though he would not remember their content, it seemed as though he was trying to battle the seal with all his might, refusing to be grounded. At times, it seemed as though he would not survive sane, for keeping the balance in him has been difficult."

"So that time he got out of control…" Don started.

"I let my guard down … He had been well for so long… It was that edge, that accursed spirit getting the upper hand again I thought that when Ancient One agreed to aid me placing a water seal to calm and heal him trying to change his fate after he… everything would be fine."

"After what father?" Don gulped.

'_I promise I will be good father! I swear! It won't happen again. I will be in control, but please don't send me away.'_ He could still picture the terrified little turtle say.

"He lashed and nearly killed Raphael." Splinter said, clenching his paws.

* * *

"You won't train me anymore, the Tribunal will not allow it, right?" she asked with a smirk. "I understand, don't concern yourself." She said, sounding detached. "That is all, I make my decision, it is time too meet my fate. I will seek elsewhere. Thanks for your time, mas…venerable Ancient One." Leonardo bowed to the Ancient One, leaving his refugee.

"May your path lead you to enlightenment, Kumquat." The Ancient One said as she headed to the horizon, deciding to consult his masters for Leonardo had reminded him of Tang Shen too much for his comfort. "Hopefully home."

* * *

"But I mean Leo turned the Utrom Shredder's offer down and we faced and defeated the Shredders, right? And all 4 of us made it. And Leo has a dragon avatar. I mean, their prediction was mistaken, right?"

'_Saki was one too… Doubt it no rodent! This changes nothing, should the blue one ever give us any reason at all to suspect him!...'_ Splinter shook his head. He had been with the tribunal recently. "They still feel Leonardo should be locked or…"

"Father! You made a big mistake sending Leo to the Ancient one… Leonardo is in big trouble." Don warned.

* * *

The turtle left the forgotten path to the Ancient One with a heavy heart. She had already lost too much time and the answers she had gotten were… but well she would try another place, a land filled with magic and shinobi and samurai. She started writing the symbols to the Battle Nexus Usagi taught her some years back. She still was waiting for the day her own master would teach her those things, a day that probably would never come as she probably was too dangerous for that knowledge, she thought crestfallen. She had just started chanting when she felt a twinge on her neck.

"You really think you can escape?" a voice in her back told her.

"Wasn't I supposed to be given 3 months?" she spat turning feeling groggy looking at Karai approaching.

"Running away is not allowed. My Lord requests your presence."

* * *

**Author's notes**

Thanks again to Lady-Kassy for her beta and feedback on this chapter.

Thanks again to those who review the previous chapter I know there are people following the story but feedback really encourage me to continue.

I have not read the comics so I have no idea what the medallion meant so I am taking some literary liberties but well with the new season they send the movie time line to an alternate universe.

Someone questioned how come they could not have noticed. Well they aren't fools but I remember some years back hearing a news about a zoo having issues with their "male" Panda bear, they sort of found out he was a she when the panda began to display a characteristic female behavior during the summer which let to a more careful examination. Good luck with the breeding program! and I had a fish tank and I never could tell the males from the females as Ian Malcolm said in Jurassic Park did you check under all the dinosaurs skirts? guess not. Another story that comes to mind is in the Good Earth when the protagonist picks a Westerner on his rickshaw and has to ask a fellow rickshaw driver if he was carrying a male or a female passenger because he could not tell. Let's face to tell a baby's gender I still look for the earrings so unless it is quite obvious like in birds, or crabs, and some mammals and if even specialist have troubles with some species. If they tell you is a girl or a boy you usually believe it unless you have proof that says otherwise.

Spirit foxes, kitsune, are supposed to be mischievous creatures in the Japanese folklore they like pranks more than anything and are described as being sort of annoying. They are different in the Chinese folklore I remember long ago reading a Chinese story about a man married to a fox spirit of great beauty who disappeared when discovered.

That mantra is real from the Brihadaranyaka Upanishad 1.3.28. The arguments come from the Art of War and the Tao Te Ching and Leo's reply comes from a a modification from something said by Ali Armani who was a very strong martial arts artist I guess I could not find anymore information on him but I like his speech is in the wiki.

Originally it did not have fancy phobia words but I guess Don would used them just as Raph language will be more colorful.

Leonardo is shown to have an extraordinary mind control in some of the chapters which allows them to escape from the Old Japan Utrom Matrix they were stuck in, so much Don calls him Neo I mean Leo in one of them as a Matrix reference. compassionate? well if not why on Earth he spared Karai?

I guess I still have issues with that season and I am taking advantage of the plot holes some of the Tribunal members behaved like complete jerks towards Leo, I mean is not like he was the only one who did not received a weapon without any explanation and was still force to fight Tengu, they reprimanded the rest for delaying carrying an injured one who basically saved the mission and let's face it there seem to be a lot more than "they forsook Yoshi" in Splinter's rage against them because he could not have know about them before and suddenly when they tell the Oroku Saki story suddenly they actually behaved decently towards them?

The second issue is they clearly portrayed Saki as the de facto leader of the Tribunal and I don't think it would be as easy as he just turn bad let's kill him it is not as they fought alongside, trained together used to trust each other, etc. Like Anakin now I am evil fear me bwahhaa I still don't get that part very well I guess I was hoping for something like in FMA. Still having my reserves on the new season I read a comment from one author and I know is a kids show but kids aren't fools which explains the anime shows still gaining popularity worldwide because of their more complex plots and characters which shows like Avatar took the hint from and succeded the final dilema of the Avatar was quite well developed a pacifist vegetarian child monk is expected to kill the Fire Lord though they could have spare us the romances a bit, I mean they are 13, 14. I guess a cat trying to murder a mouse in the most ingenious ways and having it backfire on him every single time is no longer so thrilling.


	40. Confrontation

All TMNT characters are copyrighted by Mirage studios and were created by Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird. And this is a non-profit fanfic.

* * *

Leo smiled as she possessed the knowledge of the world "Fair?" Leo laughed. "Don, Life is not fair."

**

* * *

Confrontation**

"What do you mean?" Splinter said concerned. "I assure the Ancient One has never mean harm…"

Don was about to open his mind but held back. '_But Master I must be ready to finish your vendetta! That is my only purpose, right...?'_ Ringing on his mind. "How much does Leo know?" Don asked dead serious concerned: Leo had always looked so well, so invulnerable. Yet, it was just so obvious: the depression bouts, the guilt trips, she did spend a lot of time by his master side as children, she never laughed, not for real_ 'I am unstable' _she spent a lot of time alone. _Did she even like ninjutsu?_ He wondered. How had she managed to...give them strength, encourage them? It seemed almost impossible.

"It is hard to tell" Splinter said. "I used to believe he was unaware…Leonardo is someone who rarely talks after that he nearly…and I believe he basically closed himself to me and to the world. He became docile and never gave me any troubles but…I know he keeps a lot to himself but pushing him would no be good either" He said; remembering with dread the little turtle running to the water works pit with a decided glare on her eyes. '_You will be better off without me, why should I stay?'_

"Why did you put Leo as leader then? It sounds like a lousy choice if you ask me…" Don asked concern about the pressure she was subjected too which he had increased involuntarily.

"When the time came, to my surprise, he was the best choice, balanced, responsible, grounded, obedient… and having a responsibility gave him focus and a purpose." _'Ryonarudo! you have a duty and destiny from which you can't run; you are meant to bring justice; you are just sick my son but I will make it better. For now, sleep my child.' _he had said, pulling his son carefully away from the edge and looking at Leonardo straight in the eyes.

"The perfect child." Don said with irony. "but you haven't answered father."

"I think he has always suspected something at a subconscious level. _'Sealing might help, but are you sure Splintersan? It would only work for a while, it will only delay, it will not prevent, fate is hard to fight one blood will fall.' _I thought I would be prepared to tell him but when the time came, I could not bring myself to explain it to him; _'Time is all I need, I just have to make sure it is the other blood that falls.' _he had answered. All he knew is that he had some sort of psychic sickness and that control is everything to keep it on check, that he must reinforce the restraints but now I truly fear what he might have understood from my reluctance to talk; I still don't know how he found out. Maybe he accessed his erased memories and if he did…What did you find out?" Splinter said as bit hopeful.

"That thing is still on exile according to the Council…" Don said coldly. "Would you have kept Leo if he was not to bring you to the Shredder?" Don asked.

"How dare you?…I foolishly hoped they will never meet…"

"That thing you did when Leo awoke and became so odd."

"I forced the seal… it roughly translates into Evil spirit… to be restraint." It is something the Ancient One and the Tribunal thought convenient for me to have. I have only used it in extreme situations. It basically sends him into a previously controlled state or that is what I used to believe at least; now I am not so sure… 2 years is a lot of time to lose. I believe your brother has gotten extremely good at hiding things; he was supposed to rest from the responsibility, have some time for himself so he could find out who he was to learn control without me."

'_I don't remember much__, just memory flashes' "Evil spirit?_ "…like a mind reset… how can you…" Don was in shock it seemed as though they were talking about somebody else the psychological implication were…. "How many times have you done it?"

The rat sighed "…Leonardo truly uncontrolled is extremely dangerous, my son. It is not something… I can handle, I rather…hear what you have to tell me."

"The Ancient One… why did you send him 2 years ago?"

"He was fading away again, becoming restless and increasingly rebellious and therefore unstable. He needed to center himself, he needed to be sealed again probably and I thought the Ancient One would help him in a less aggressive method. Now I doubt he even got to him." Splinter said. "I fear he might have reached the limit of his mind's resistance."

"That is why you no longer trust Leo…As in Puberty? Father, Leo was simply growing up." Don said accusingly.

* * *

Leonardo awoke from a deep slumber, she had not slept that well in…_never_ she thought and touched the soft fabric almost eagerly it felt so soft like feathers…._ soft?! _She forced herself to awake and jumped to stand up from the futon causing a momentary orthostatic dizziness and looked at her surroundings.

She remembered a talk with Karai as a memory from a movie.

"**T****he last I need is a love declaration from you." She said mocking her, striving to stay awake and finishing the opening of the portal though she was starting to lose her focus. **_**'Why can't my fan club leave me alone**_**?' she wondered.**

"**As if you would be so lucky" a blushing Karai spat, lifting her head. "I am trying to understand what father sees in you! What makes him think you are better than me… You have no idea how much my father has changed since you crossed his path!" **

"**He just showed his true colors… You are…jealous?" Leonardo spat surprised, starting to laugh at the irony for a minute, drowning into sleep. For a minute, it had felt as she had been able to tune with Karai's emotions, she had pictured a lone child shivering, feeling unwanted... Abandoned… Striving to please her savior, as odd as he was, putting him on a pedestal… having conflict with what she believed and what she was honor-bound to do**_**. **_

_**Karai really is not my enemy but she is a threat.**_** There was something else that sent cold shivers, that presence, probably from being exposed to that darkness, when she called the name for herself and then tapped into the force of the original. **

_**She is fading… I can't believe I asked you to do that…**_** Leo thought with remorse and said, as she approached, trudging and tapped Karai's forehead: "Believe me… I would be more than happy to yield the honor… It is not you Karai. I am not that much better than you, sorry for asking you that." **

And there the memory stops.

_What was that?_ It seemed her mind had a mind of her own this days, she should have focus in escaping not on exploring Karai's sad life, and certainly not comforting her…. but she was so tired, so… _Let's get out of here._ She analyzed her surroundings.

It was a Japanese style room with view to a garden with a fountain. _How did I got here_? she wondered, this certainly was not within the sanctuary of the Ancient One, and she would not have been given such a nice room in the unlikely event he had decided to help. It had an electric lamp hanging from the ceiling so no it was not there. She looked around and found a scroll with a bamboo design in black colors, all her gear had been removed and she had a yukata with geometric designs over her but not her mask which made her feel exposed: she hated being without her mask because it made her deficiencies more obvious, it made her be someone she had given up long ago. It laid on a small low table, along with her gear, apparently clean, next to a box with a heater pot, with a tea pot and 3 types of tea and two cups. Even some rice cookies. "_Shouldn't I be in a dungeon?"_ she wondered, feeling a distinctive presence approaching.

"It is good to see you finally awake Leonardo" the tempered Japanese voice said.

Leonardo gave him a bored glance "What are you playing? What happen with the time I was granted?"

The Saki exosuit gave her an odd glare.

"You know for someone whose life is not revolving around me, you are quite insistent." Leonardo said glaring at him.

"I… clearly told you to rest and get well but… you are really stubborn." he said admonishingly. "I even made Karai personally responsible should anything happen to you… I thought that letting you stay at whatever burrow you call home and diminishing the Foot pursuit on your family would suffice. So you can not imagine my surprise when I was informed they were unable to track you anywhere in the city for 10 days, so I decided to return….before you did something drastic as your red clad brother threatened my soldiers with what would happen to Karai if you did. And I forgot to tell you what would happen to your loved ones, should you choose to escape as you seemed to be trying."

"l can imagine you were quite persuasive and I was not escaping. I did not know I had to inform you of my whereabouts." she said sarcastically. "Still… as you see, I am fine, except for I deeply dislike being turtle-napped, so, unless you have something important to tell me… I will be punctual for our appointment in 2 months and a half so if you excuse me." She said raising and heading to gear up annoyed.

"You do remember? ... Interesting… I've changed my mind: we will advance the appointment to now. That way I can be sure you do get some rest and regain your health."

"I am not sick!" Leonardo snapped. "And what is it to you anyway?"

"Your family might not care but… A sick vessel is an unfit vessel and I can't have that." he spat. "Don't make me force you to obey into regaining your health. As you said, I can be quite persuasive." he said in a smooth voice.

"I would like to see you try! You are going to threaten me to torture me with fruits and vegetables to death!" she said ironically.

The robotic exosuit emitted a sigh, wondering why was he even trying, why had he felt compelled to return when Karai would have sufficed, it was a big mystery. _Did that Rylian had meant that much to go into this trouble? _Yes she had, he had to admit, but patience was an Utrom virtue he did have and he had plenty of experience with Karai and his previous wards. But this creature was probably even more stubborn than she was. "No I can't force you to regain your health but… would you consider being my guest for the time being?" he asked "As you are I think I am beginning to enjoy your company."

"That would be…. treason" she said cautiously not knowing what was happening "I am no traitor."

"Your sense of honor…They betrayed you first! Or did you get yourself sealed on purpose? … You see, I think you are more similar to me that I thought at first… they also tried to fix you right? …They also did not understand… Did they even try? … They also told you were sick or broken right? They also made you pretend you were somebody else so you would not scare them?" The Utrom said not losing his glare over her.

"Stop projecting and get a shrink… seriously." she said. "Don't try to second guess my life and my mind; it is not somewhere you can walk in freely, it is…" _Was he able to read the mind?_ She wondered. _Because that would be unsettling._

"A scary place isn't it? How do you manage youngling, how have you managed to remain sane? For Utrom, it is not that hard, but for you… Truly extraordinary."

"Need advice?" Leonardo said threatening. "I manage because I have something I care about, because I have something to protect but that, you would not understand."

"I once did too…as flawed as she was… but I guess you would not understand, still if you will not be my guest, then you will be my captive for the time being. I am not risking you… "

"More threats? That is original." she said.

"No, stress is not good… Right now, you should not be even moving… Yet you have even managed to hold your ground to the bracelet this fast… when you should have surrender to it… but don't underestimate me…I can make you do anything, yet I choose to show you my magnanimous side this time which is probably what I should have done from the beginning… when I am done with you. You would not want to leave."

"Wanna bet on that?" she said trying to get an edge.

The Utrom gave her a full of himself glare. "I don't make bets, yet as soon as you convince me you are well, I will consider it. Until then, you will be treated as the hatchling you are behaving like."

* * *

"So my question!" Splinter said commanding. "What was Leonardo hiding?"

"Compared to what you just told me, nothing, father. Nothing important… I mean just Leo was having a hard time adjusting but that is expected. I mean Leo probably has not been fine for a long time." Leonardo was extremely good at piecing the facts together, more than his father probably imagined. One glare, one word and she could assemble the whole picture, the idea of her knowing all along was.

"Was Leonardo developing unexpected behaviors, traits that might have misled you, my son? Because they might be a side effect of that yin entity that must be promptly corrected as soon as he returns, as it has always been done. I am beginning to suspect Karai is indeed a Shredder and she might have…"

Don paled._ 'I never really thought about it, I am not the one with a soap opera obsession like Mike or a hormone like driven temper like Raph.'_ "That would be simpler father…that would be controllable." He thought considering the changes in behavior he had observed even on himself.

"… No. Leonardo truly has deceived us all… You see, Leo is not developing any unexpected behaviors, nor are we coming out of any closet, which considering our limited choices would be even expected… Leo is just growing up." Don said finally.

"I don't understand." Splinter said.

"You were right Leo is different from us in more than one way… Leo is biologically different, if you understand me."

Splinter paled. "That can't be… a daughter?!... Why was not I informed?!" he asked with dread. The seals were gender specific. The idea of Leonardo growing up with a wrong seal was… and there was that second part of the omen he had not told Donatello but it was so shocking, so unexpected. "You did not get…her… pregnant, did you? This is terrible." Splinter said confused with a stern glare looking at Donatello straight in the eyes.

_Gee__! What happened to 'your family will be there for you?'_ No wonder Leonardo did not want to talk to his father. "What? No!" though the idea of little Leo´s spawns running around was not that bad, he had to admit and if he was the other half genome contributor even better…. Don shook his head; his father watched too many soaps.

They were interrupted by a familiar voice he had missed terribly in the previous month as he felt an arm on his right shoulder.

"Surprise, surprise, I told your father I am more of a disappointment you imagine." a capped Leonardo said placing her arm on Don's shoulder and looking at Splinter with a defiant glare.

"Leonardo… Where have you been?" Splinter said looking at his son warily noticing the glee on her eyes and her detached countenance wondering how much had she heard.

"Not even a greeting, _Master?" _she chuckled._ "_Guess I was not missed after all. He said so." she muttered. "The Ancient One. did you not send me there?" Leonardo said breaking the pregnant silence. "Sorry to interrupt… but if you desire to ask me something do it directly… as there is nothing better than the original source unless said source is hiding things still, things which will be considered important right? But that would not be the case, of course not since we are all a 'happy family', are we not Don?" She said with an icy glare and tone that sent shivers in Don's spine.

Don turned to Leo feeling loss. Was Leo openly defying Splinter? Maybe Mike was right and a snatcher had exchanged places with Leo. "Leo?" he said

She whispered to Don in the ear. "Don, dear, would you be as kind as to leave us alone? You really need to sleep more: there are black lines under your eyes already and don't worry, he does not bite, you are not the flawed one here… Though, on second thought… maybe you should stay, you are the new leader after all." she said patting Don.

"Leo? What…you have been drinking?" Don said noticing a faint smell of alcohol on her.

"I knew that thing had a funny taste to it but... good enough to kill… good enough to drink they say." She said with a giggle.

"Donatello, please leave us alone." Splinter said not losing Leonardo defiant glare from sight, fearing she would lash; he was having a hard time identifying her as Leonardo. It was as if she was a completely different person.

"Good enough to fight the clan's battles. Not good enough to know inner workings of a true shinobi clan after all…Get used to it Don." She said almost cynically, shaking her head, not loosening her glare over Splinter, or her grip upon Don.

"Leonardo! Enough! Let Donatello go. Where have you been?" he said sternly.

"With the Ancient One. You sent me there, remember _master_? I guess you were not expecting me to return after all…Sorry to disappoint you, you probably were hoping he would solve what you didn't." she retorted releasing Don as he was on fire, she was still giddy. '_He really thinks I would harm him.' _And, pushing him aside, added: "Please leave Donatello. Be the good son you have always been."

"Like hell I will Leo!" Don replied.

"Donatello, leave us alone." Splinter commanded.

The reluctant Don removed himself from his father's quarters and he could hear the conversation continuing on Japanese on his back. He wanted to curse for not putting more attention to Splinter efforts in learning the subtleties of the language which Leo had gotten during her first stay with the Ancient One. Having a medallion that acted as a sort of translator during his time as Acolytes had made him forget about his deficiencies.

"Stop lying! The Ancient one sent you off weeks ago." Splinter said raising his tone.

"Lying…? That is a new one… aren't we shinobi …isn't it expected?" she chuckled changing to Japanese.

"Ryonarudo Stop this nonsense this instant!" Splinter said finally.

"All right _master_, as your Venerable Master the Ancient One says: 'Ask right question to get right answer'. And this is my answer." She then unsheated and put Usagi's sword at her father's feet and said, kneeling: "Give the order and I will obey. I am not answering to your question anyway and I'd rather to it by your order or hand than by those Earth bound spirits."

For once Splinter was taken aback. "Leonardo, No!" his eyes watering a bit, refraining to rush to her side and hug her, clenching his staff, otherwise he would lose whatever little control he still had over her. "No, my child. How can you…? What did they tell you? Where have you been?"

Leonardo looked at Splinter sternly "Finding the truth…Your answer master?"

"No my child. You found no truth if you are asking this. You are just sick, the Ancient One said so, and you are drunk. You don't really mean what you are saying, this is not you, this is no my brave honorable son speaking. I will talk to you once you regain your senses not now." Splinter said, warily looking with dread at the completely detached countenance of the knelt turtle had. A true samurai: nothing was reflected on those once fiery hazel eyes, just plain acceptance of her master's decision and even a shinobi master like Splinter could not help but flinch.

"Sick…Son? Why don't we stop pretending… you knew, didn't you?" She laughed. "I must say, then the Ancient One said he can't fix me so… your opportunity to make amendments is now master… my deeds _do_ deserve it and it would be a relief to you, wouldn't it? I already fulfilled my purpose so I am no longer useful" she said looking at Splinter straight in the eyes but not showing any particular emotion, as if she was completely uninterested on the outcome.

Splinter sighed and raised his voice, hating to have to answer as master instead of rushing to her. "I did not know, I truly did not know… and don't care what you have done or what that ingrate, selfish tribunal told you. You should know better than that! I would never order or approve something like this… Do you really think so little of me my son?!...Why did you not trust me? I could have helped you. The seals are wrong, they must have been hurting you for years." the rat said looking with dread at the sword on the ground.

Leo gave him and inquisitive stare. "Explanations I don't need… Since when is it up to me to decide? Tools don't get to question… thought I think I have my final answer now… Father and master can't be the same then." She muttered showing a faint trace of a smile. "Sorry about the display, I will report to you master, but not tonight. I am not feeling well. Jetlag I guess, I am still weary, haven't slept in 48 hours and it has been… a busy month and somehow I got intoxicated… That bastard" she muttered… "So I will do your 100 flips tomorrow if that is fine with you, _master_" she said, rising.

"… Welcome back." he greeted, trying to catch her gaze which seemed quite far from there and rushed to her side. "Everything will be all right, we just have to find a way and you will be back to normal. You will be fine, the seals are just wrong but they can be adjusted." Splinter said finally trying to keep his voice from breaking, heading to embrace her but was be stopped by Leonardo who lift her hand motioning him not to approach any further.

'**They will try to fix you as they did with me'** she closed her eyes pushing the thoughts away, shaking her head and hardened her tone to stop the other things from surfacing. She still felt as she was liquid, she felt as if she was fading. "So it can go as well as it went last time. Oh, maybe you will get lucky this time and they will finally break me." Leonardo said sarcastically. "Why don't we stop pretending you care? I will stop pretending I have been… fine because, Splinter-san, I have never ever been fine. But it's… ah… good to be back." She said bowing and taking the sword, she observed it. It was a nice sword, not as nice and balanced and fancy as the one she had wielded lately, but at least it was an honest sword, one given by a true friend. That was why she had chosen it. The edge beamed under the artificial lights and she truly felt she was walking on it, she probably had all her life but she would not falter just a little more; the time of games was over, so she sheathed it, noticing Donatello's nervousness behind her, everything felt so unreal. She changed to English. "By the way, it was my decision. Donatello is not at fault, he is not the monster here." she said raising and taking the sword and giving it to Splinters who reluctantly took it. She continued in Japanese "Mine is not the way of the sword according to the Ancient One, but what does it matter… if you won't… you know what happens next, don't you? They already summoned me, right? I guess the time to let me go is getting near, but I will have the _shinken shobu_ with the Foot leader you have denied me for so long first." she added with a collected tone turning heavily and heading to the exit, passing near the shocked Donatello.

"Leonardo" Splinter called. "You are not a… you don't have to…"

She stopped briefly and raised her head to look at the filthy ceiling, making a sarcastic grin. "Leonardo? Sore wa darekana fushigina mono desune." (_Who is that? A mystery indeed_.) she said in Japanese, using female inflections and then she turned and meet her master's glare with a cold gaze that made Splinter shiver, clenching her fist pointing at herself. "Ashi wa… kono kunoichi wa namae ga nai" (I… this kunoichi has no name.)

The rat stood still trying to process all the information she had just given him, feeling the backlash of the mind link being broken and was interrupted by Don's voice who had understood just enough to be deeply disturbed as he had stopped as soon as he heard a sword being unsheathed. Raphael's ramblings on bushido ringing like alarm bells but he had just frozen. Would his father authorize that? he wondered. He had to do something, he had to stop this madness he had too…

"Master we gotta talk! You are not letting her…" he said as a statement, glaring at the sword in his father's hand refraining to take it and throw it to the deepest pit he could find.

"Not now." Splinter said coldly trying to regain ground.

"Yes now father!" Don retorted.

"Go to him Donatello… I mean, go to her. I can't face Le… her right now. The damage is… too extensive." The rat said, clenching the sword in his hands and turning so his purple clad son would not see him weep.

* * *

**Author's note**

Once again thanks to Lady-Kassy for her beta of this chapters. I admit defeat it will be over 40 chapters. Omake are not chapters by the way.

As always I am very grateful for your reviews.

I agree with Deathoftoast that some studios do include reference that are not for the kids sometime actually taking all over like in invader Zim or animaniacs but that one sometimes made me wonder about the target audience.

I am sorry if last chapter was a bit confusing I guess I am going to add more lines in that chapter. By the way the talks were not simultaneous at least 7 weeks have past since Leonardo left, 5 since the Ancient One. Playing with the story time line is sort of fun.

Shinken shobu :"Fighting with real swords." Life-and-death combat in the old martial arts.

Orthostatic dizziness: dizziness induced from standing up fast.

The Japanese part. The translation is not exact but is what I would have put in English. It would be more like: a mystery isn't it. English is sort of special because the one talking does not have to change the verbs or anything to make them gender specific at all, as in romance languages at least when speaking in first person, so the one in troubles has been Don. In Japanese the changes would be very drastic if not speaking in a polite way. Particularly the soft "Ashi" instead of the more masculine "Ore".

Ok, I don't consider Splinter evil per se but one must admit he is very obsessed with his vendetta in all his incarnations. I mean, this was the guy who had killed his master, who was the uber ninja, and was he really hoping his 4 teenage sons would take him out? Any one else wonders how does being a shinobi master and being addicted to soap operas works, Splinter would have a very bizarre way of thinking.

Any one else freaked out at the idea of Karai snatching the Original Shredder's energy through a dubious link, nobody fully understood. We are talking about serious dark spirit demon mix there and why no one question it when Leo came with the idea, he suddenly has prophetic dreams? Oh? maybe that's where the revamped original will sprout in the near future as a latent energy.

I am thinking on posting a "Have you seen this turtle?" signs on Leonardo because I hardly saw him in FF and I don't see him in the BTTS, one would think Raphael took over and Leonardo's leader traits were also scatter in cyberspace along with master Splinter and Don's Personality got a few bytes mixed the guilt ridden ones and what is the deal with Mikey seriously? "want to be maid of honor?"

Also so BTTS is now "Me, myself and Shredine" counting the number of Shredders scheduled to appear the original supposely defeated and shred, the Utrom Ch'rell who was suposed to be trapped in the farthest most inexpugnable frozen rock available to the Utrom council and his cyberspace (backup?) alter ego; well that at least keeps the mood as it promises something. Turns out Shredder the musical was prophetic after all don't you think. ;-)


	41. Aftermath

All TMNT characters are copyrighted by Mirage studios and were created by Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird. The fragment is from Mea culpa by Enigma.

* * *

Je suis là et ailleurs  
Je n'ai plus rien  
Je deviens folle  
Je m'abandonne

Mea Culpa

**

* * *

Aftermath**

Don rushed from his father's quarters to catch the fleeing Leo, who was actually walking quite steady and slow, but to Don every step felt like a mile… He was not letting her disappear again; as she seemed to be doing a lot lately. Mike had even said she had become Turtledini; but He would stop it this time. He would somehow help her. He was not sure how but he would. It was his time to protect her. He caught up with her on the entrance of her room.

"Leo…"

"What?!" she asked annoyed not even meeting his gaze. Her mind was not clear and Don´s unsteady emotions made her even dizzier. _This empathy business really sucks!_ And the bastard had left her completely vulnerable! Had stripped her of her pain and stalkingly gained control. Why did everything have to be so complicated for her: impossible choices, heartbreaking decisions why did she always end in the starting point? Because she now remembered…she remembered everything and everything was too much.

_Because I am a bloody singularity and the universe does hate me._ Playing kunoichi had been really hard more than she ever imagined. _And I believed guys had it hard… Bah!_ And now she needed a short respite, she just wanted to scream, she wanted to cry. She wanted to be able not to feel anything at all. It had been a mistake to return… to believe they would care, that she would not feel ashamed and disgraced…that she would feel safe…her mistake but she had returned almost automatically… to find what? That he was right… that he had made her doubt, she thought with rage and then why had he let her go again, so easily? _Probably I scared him too_. She sighed. Breath in, breath out. She could not show how near the edge she was. Not to them. Not to anyone.

He just headed to give her a hug but was stopped as Leo jerked away.

"Don't touch me, you don't know where I have been." she giggled. Yeah, he did not need to know about that. Shell! She wished she did not either.

"Leo…I…" Don started. Everything was too much: she was so shaken, so broken.

"I what?… I am busy." she said, sounding annoyed.

"Leo… no… you are not… fine. I am not letting you."

"Fine?… News flash, I am not… sane? Probably not… Angry as hell as you, betcha!" she said, trying to sound collected and failing miserably. She really did not belong here, not anymore, not anywhere actually. Well that was life her life.

"Leo! Damn! Listen to me. I am…" How was she picking all his thoughts? He wondered, concerned.

"Shocked, of course. I would be too. So, now you know the truth behind the fearless facade… So if you excuse me." she pushed him to get in her room and shooed him with her hand.

"Leo! Damn! Why won't you accept help?… My help?"

"Help?" she chuckled, amused and annoyed. She was no damsel in distress, that bastard could attest to it. "Donatello, I don't need your help, and I don't need your pity either… you can't fix me like one of the gadgets you have on your lab OK? I am not broken, never been. I am just…" **They won't understand, they can't**. She clenched her teeth. This was absurd, she could still hear him. _Other creatures have a conscience. I have a… what is the opposite? Unconsciousness? That was good,_ she chuckled at her private joke. "Do you even know who or what I am angry about?... Of course not." she spat.

Don shrugged. He assumed she had walked in and heard part of the conversation, but how much and from where… And who knew what she might have understood, he would also feel betrayed. "Let me understand please. Look, I know Master Splinter has been…and you have been…but you gotta talk with…why haven't you told me?" This really was too much and he really did not want to mess things further.

"Trust is earned" She said, remarking her position of distrust. She could make a long argument about that, had a 5 week practice and a very stubborn audience. "None of you would understand from your perfect little bubble worlds. You can't, just as…" She stated **Trust me you are like me.** She breathed. "Not even master Splinter ever did… but great going Don… he would not tell me a thing, no matter what I did or how much blood I shed… Yet, to you he would tell everything… So why bother with me? I was a lousy choice right? Go ask him so you can make whatever brilliant plans you have now, genius leader." That had actually felt refreshing. _'I am really going bad.'_ She self admonished herself.

He sighed. She had heard that. "Leo, I did not mean it like that! Let me try, at least. Don't underestimate me."

_Underestimate__? No actually you do pretty well but…_ "Ok, let's get this over with! Let's go swimming so you can get it out of your system and we can both return to our status quo relationship of you not caring OK. That is all you want right?" She said, dropping the bag and the cape on the bed. _'It is safer that way.'_

Don, at first baffled, looked at her concerned and then paled and spat blushing in a deep purple. "Leonardo!"

"What? Your room?" she said with a devilishly cold smirk. "We are turtles… We go swimming, but whatever… And stop calling me that!" she added with a sarcastic tone angrily. _'Hate me, despise me, but please don't get near.'_

"Stop pushing me away….Where are you going? This is your…"

"Home? No… believe me, it is not" **You can run but you belong to me, always had, always will.** She wanted to throw up and just sighed instead. _Breath! _"April or LH or Central Park…It's not like I am going to the Foot HQ as Father probably thinks I will." she laughed bitterly. '_Not now, at least; though Karai would be thrilled. I won't trust them not to follow Central Park it is. He is a sore loser after all._ "I must go now." She looked at Don pale face. _'He really thinks I would…. sorry Donnie.'_

"Don…I really need to calm down a bit OK and after that…will be after that" she said finally.

"At least, take my shellcel… Leo, please don't." Don begged not even daring utter it fearing it might conjure something.

Leo sighed deeply. _'I really haven't changed in spite of everything. I still care about them.' _She didn't know if she should feel relieved or despaired. "I won't kill myself OK? I will certainly not give the Tribunal the pleasure." _'Why does everyone think I would? Even that bastard,'_ she sighed. "I fight my battles, not run from them." _'Usually…'_ Why had she been unable too… Agh! She had spared Karai before after all, she was weak even before. She so hated that, it was something that would have to change, whether she liked it or not. "…that much has not changed… I just need some time to think and get this out of my system before I say something I'd regret." She said halfhearted. _'This is for the best.' _They could not know.

"Leo, it is not your fault, and there is nothing to fear. The monster that haunts your sleep is only in your mind, he is not here. Karai did something to you: it seems she gave you something we will make her pay, but…it was not your fault!" Don said.

_Really?_ She thought with irony, fully feeling the presence of the bracelet on her wrist. She had seen the videos and they were anything but pretty, but also relieved; they did not suspect a thing. She would spare them all, shell! she had already, if she could but well… _We are waging a war, aren't we?… Yes let them think that._ "Iosua Queme Chuchaviva." She said finally. _Let them think the worst, it is better this way and it's not a lie, actually._

"What?" Don exclaimed.

"That's how they called me…April did not get the full story… You see, Don, Karai is not the monster I am worried about. I have not been in control for a while. A long while."

* * *

"What do you mean he has not eaten?!" The Utrom raged.

"No my Lord, not even…water." The shaking maid said.

The Utrom tapped his desk, trying to remind himself why was he going into this trouble, the creature was truly stubborn but he had to exert some restraint. He had forced Leonardo to stop trying escaping by threatening to punish the ones who cared about him, but this had gotten absurd.

Much to his surprise and… was that regret? He did enjoy the creature's company, probably had since he had met it, but could not even explain why. A shame it would not come to him voluntarily. There was an inherent grace to it... Raw talent… True general material. That was why he had devoted so much time to try to lure him before, that sword was a treasured possession. Until his common sense kicked in and his patience dried and he decided to give up because it was absurd.

_Why did I spare him that time?_ He reflected, thinking about how a simple order back then would have saved him all the trouble for considering how things had developed when Karai attacked them. In retrospective he had too admit that, with the turtles, he usually lost his temper and that had been his mistake. He made it personal, they weren't such impossible foes and, without Leonardo, apparently they were not a threat, not even a nuisance. Karai, when she could keep her head cool about it, had proved it. Even the rat was not a match for a full offensive attack. He was truly proud of Karai, but also a bit disappointed. _I raised a lieutenant not a general after all._ She would probably not survive the four once he was gone but… _I can't shelter her forever._ Since when did he allow doubts and second thoughts?

He analyzed it coldly, something that was becoming more and more difficult day by day: Threats had not gotten him anywhere with Leonardo, or whatever his name was, before and were unlikely this time. The creature was as stubborn, loyal and honorable as it got. Which, ironically, made him… almost perfect, if only he was by his side. He refrained his instinct to punish the maid as it would certainly get him nowhere and good loyal maids were a hard to get commodity, particularly those raised by the Foot and those who did not flinch before non human creatures even harder. Yes, only Stockman had gotten him that angry in this decade. He could not stand that arrogant treacherous human.

* * *

Leonardo was meditating in the room again, one would think the creature's attachment to the world was slight as best and that it was not on his worst enemy's grasp. Truly remarkable. The epitome of tranquility.

"More threats?" she said, defiant not even opening her eyes for the daily visit of her enemy, ready to ignore him again.

"No, let's have it your way. We are both reasonable and sentient after all." He said, putting a glass of water in front of her.

"Really?" She said sarcastically, ignoring the thirst. It had been 2 days, but she did not want anything from there.

"No, I am not letting you go just yet… what do you want to eat? Name it."

"I don't want to eat." She replied.

"Though fasting is a very sought practice which might help you attain 'enlightment' or whatever you are seeking by meditating that much; it also taxes your body, weakens it and clouds your mind, delays your recovery and therefore your resistance."

She remained silent. He had a point.

At least his uneasiness had diminished though, who knew, this creature was a master concealing its emotions and was an enemy but he had to make it comfortable and somehow make it less uneasy around him, as absurd as it sounded or the ritual would never work. Had it been a life bringer it would not have mattered for there would be fewer differences and he would not have to go through this trouble but beggars can be pickers. He ventured pushing a bit into her personal space and sat just in front of her. Well, he did have an armor, after all he had to show the creature who was in charge, as he looked at the closed eyed Leonardo who pushed himself backwards almost immediately. He sighed. "I will make a deal with you."

"Who are you going to threaten this time?" she asked annoyed.

"Nobody, I will just talk with you and you must give me sound short, reasonable arguments to everything I say or remain silent. Don't worry, I am not after any confidential information. All I am asking is you to listen. If you can keep up, I leave and you won't have to stand me for 3 days, sounds fair to you?"

Leonardo gave him a distrustful glare but 3 days sounded fine. "If not?"

"If you can't, you drink the water and answer my question. If you get too uncomfortable you can stop it anytime, but I will consider that you lost and I will force food on you. If you won't eat, sounds fair?"

She did not answer.

"I will take that as a yes… For whom or why are you fighting?"

Leonardo tried to come up with an answer but was interrupted. "Because…"

"A hard ball right? Not an easy answer. Let me rephrase it. It is remarkable how little we know of each other isn't it?... Something that goes against Sun Tzu teachings right?"

She ignored him. _Was he actually trying to start a conversation?_

"You must know, I was not entirely lying when we first talked. You got caught in a feud that was beyond you. This was not your fight and I was not your enemy. Why do you feel you owe loyalty to the Utrom council ch… youngling? Considering you were not aware I was an Utrom, I guess they were not really open with you. From the big crocodile, I can understand, but you owe them nothing if you are an accident as he was. They certainly offered you no help." Lesson One: don't child Leonardo.

"I don't, they are as trustworthy and spineless as you. I guess it is a common Utrom trait." she said sarcastically. The truth was that the Utrom council had treated them now in perspective and without her master's awe: with distrust, shell! She was grateful that they had healed him: but after calling themselves their allies they told them nothing: making them start a goose chase that nearly drove her mad with guilt and put them in danger as they sought every corner of the city. And great allies they were! They had to find out Ch'rell was Utrom by themselves, no wonder he kept coming back. _We were aiming wrongly _and though they had intervened in the last minute saving them all, it was hard to feel gratitude towards them; because they had made them fight him blindly, literally playing them for a long while. It was regrettable they had not returned immediately to recapture him and actually; it was remarkable how little or no attempts they had made in recapturing Ch'rell through the years, considering they had an overwhelming numerical advantage and considering what Donatello had reluctantly confessed from his nightmarish stay in an alternate dimension. _They were truly pathetic_ and the blurred memories she had from that general, whatever creature, made them look even worst. They had not even done their job properly getting rid of him for good and despite all he had done and the numerous times he had escaped, they sort of treated him with deference, much deference, now that she analyzed it coldly, which was why she was in this mess in the first place.

No, they had made the human guardians fight their battles just as Ch'rell did with the Foot, just different factions which they used at their discretion as tools, meaning they forsook Master Yoshi and Mashimi to him. The truth, the true enemy due to their allegiance to the Tribunal, as seemed to be the case with master Splinter's grudge, was Mashimi, his betrayal dragged Yoshi to danger and had caused Tang Chen's demise, and he had been already been punish by the master of his choosing, which was proverbial justice. The Tribunal did not care about Ch'rell or Karai they had actually forbidden to seek vendetta to the Ancient One who was the honor-bound one because they never approved Yoshi adhering to the Utrom conflict. Master Splinter had chosen that path disregarding the Tribunal wishes.

She fell a pinch on her wrist as she forced herself too stop, she was not going into that because she could not allow doubt, though the doubt had began to eat her. _Was I really only a tool for my father's vendetta?_ She breathed deeply she could not allow herself to consider it.

Truly uncanny, he thought. "If you have a grudge against the Foot and I was your enemy, why did you help Karai back then and why have you spared her so many times? Especially considering she calls herself my daughter? That she will not stop. Aren't you shinobi? Aren't you pragmatic? Or haven't you been given permission?" The Utrom sneered. "Speaking of which, considering how much the rat hates me, I am still surprised you agreed to talk with me at all that time? Let me guess… He does not trust you either. The master keeps the clan's objectives to himself. A true shinobi master, no doubt."

"So, the Foot would have another grudge against us? No, thank you. She is just another tool at you bidding, I have nothing against her." Leonardo said casually.

"And you have nothing against the Foot per se either or you would not have helped her at all. Because you took sides…Who do you work for? Because maybe I can make a better offer or negotiate with your employer? He said.

She ignored him.

"If you are not at anyone's service; then I see no gain for you; but well that is honorable; you would say. But the truth aside, from this Yoshi who died because he was a loyal guardian pawn for the Utrom council and he knew the risks involved, for he knew he was waging a war, as the warrior he was, and was ready to die. Do you have anything else against me?" The Utrom asked.

"You are evil and you have tried to kill us many times and the only reason I am not dead is because you have some plans for me, so don't try to convince me otherwise."

"Not your best argument, I am afraid. I am not trying to convince you and I don't care about your pack… I am asking you and you alone. I have seen the hatred beaming from the rat and all your brethren's eyes but not from you, never from you, which is truly remarkable. You are different from them, more than you really think… I used to be like that until I woke up, but well let's continue."

She remained silent.

"Why do you think I am evil?"

"You were trialed, remember?"

"Gandhi was too, right? And other peace loving humans too. So either you don't question or you think it's up to you… being the hero to judge and to fight me, the evil villain right?" He said with a sneer. "I say… Perspective and perception, I just got caught and was later saved by those who consider me their hero and savior. The awful truth, whether you are a hero or a villain, all depends on which side lives to tells the story. I imagine you are an Earth history enthusiast, am I wrong?"

She sighed. "You are no Gandhi and I am no hero."

"Don't lie. I am taking that as a yes… Heroes are funny things. Let's take… Napoleon, a hero to the French, a tyrant to the English. Too ambitious for you perhaps? Spartacus then, I guess you might identify with him, though I hope you don't share his foolishness. A threat to Rome, a hero to the enemies of Rome. Not impressed? A hard one then. Lion heart fighting for his beliefs against the cunning Saladin who was fighting for his home land, who was the villain there?"

"None and both, they were patriots." Leonardo replied, she did not like either of them.

"So it depends on who you ask right? So from that perspective I am not a saint as they call them here… But I helped pacify warlords and rebellious factions in Japan, giving my aid to the Tokugawa shoguns, establishing a peaceful and strict regime that saved Japan from being engulfed by the European empires. So how evil I am, it is relative really."

Yes, Ch'rell was truly remarkable in that aspect, she had to recognize. Alone against all odds in a foreign planet with a quite shocking aspect, he had built himself an empire, an evil one, but empire nonetheless, and had basically shaped Japan's history. Hiding in the open for millennia, the guy was really smart and cunning. "We have Donnie and we are stuck in the sewers, we have not made a change not a real one." _'Don't think that!' _she spat at herself.

"Genocide is not relative." She said remembering the trial's details.

"Fancy words coming from a slayer or vigilante? At least I am aiming somewhere, a universe under my vision. I won't deny I have waged wars and have lead campaigns which make me a… conqueror. Nothing less, nothing more. And as such my… hands aren't clean, I know. They have resulted in the loss of thousands and thousands of lives but to tell the truth you have more blood on your hands than I do…at least directly; I delegate a lot as I do not enjoy killing."

"Could have fooled me and I am not excusing myself." she said defensively.

"Ok then, you aren't a hypocrite. But it must be hard to feel guilty all the time, don't you think? At one time I did, but I got over it. What you heard in the trial is part of a story that does not concern you for it is quite a complicated conflict. My greatest sin was probably not behaving in an Utrom's approved manner; they did not even try to stop me until I attack Utroms. But for my deeds on Earth and I was not trialed for those, if you remember correctly… because I just played by human rules, I observed and I blended in the very bloody era of power with blood thirsty warlords served by samurai who lived and died by bushido and who behind the scenes, hired shinobi to serve as assassins because that was much more practical as, whether you like it or not, that is a shinobi, an assassin and spy for hire bid to a master or clan. They have the honor of the higher bidder, which makes them unhonorable to bushido, but well? Why do you think I did that? Certainly not because I enjoy human company."

Leonardo sighed.

"Like them I was following my primal instinct to remain alive and free, I did the best I could to survive in this adverse environment and fulfill my objectives which was to go back home to the stars just as the rest of the Utroms were trying to do, but for them it is not a crime to enlist the guardians right? While it is for me to have regroup the Foot to get even with them for things they did to me. Can you blame me for that? For wanting to have a vendetta on them? For not wanting to die and be caged?... When you have been doing the same from the EPA, for you are a criminal to them, are you not? Or should I ask Bishop?"

"It was your fault the spaceship fell." she said.

He chuckled. "Which was a… prison break and that was a slight miscalculation. They probably showed you the collective memory… Be part of the all... All Utroms are one has always made me retch but they never understood it and they actually tried to make me change, but they could not, as you see, and they did manage to obtain my wrath… I am pragmatic and I am a conqueror so nothing is really personal. My grudge to the Utrom Council is my own. Call it a vendetta if you want… which makes us the same for it's the only real reason you have given me to feel compel to fight me right? To avenge this so called human Yoshi. How pure is that intention?"

"It's not…" Leonardo stopped.

"Choose your words wisely," the Utrom warned. "But let's go on and let's reviews our relationship. Because, whether you like it or not, we have one. You could have walked away from this conflict long ago, you have had plenty of opportunities; I thought you dead remember? and I guess there are plenty of cities you can go with more benign weathers. Has your life objective been to pursue a vendetta?"

Leonardo remained silent. He had a point and she so wanted this to stop.

"You were not my enemy, I did not even know about your relation with that guardian when I made a generous offer to you, Leonardo or whatever your name is. You know, not reveling your name is unacceptable under bushido you must know that, but we, ninjas are different and I am a master shinobi, I make the rules for my clan. Why you think I did that?"

"Certainly not out of the goodness of your heart." Leonardo said.

"You are right, I did that because I saw potential for greatness and I am a talent collector is one of my best attributes."

"Yes sure, so what about..." She was not going to play his game and stop again thinking about Hun and Stockman.

"What about Hun you would ask?..."

_How did he_? This was unnerving.

"Well… he became purple dragon leader and established his own operation did he not? I taught him well. He is more cunning than his brutish appearance might let you believe and used to be loyal. Stockman is one of the most brilliant minds I have come across, arrogant and insane but brilliant nonetheless, otherwise Bishop would not bother with him. That human or whatever he is, is a real trouble maker is he not? But he has this planet's law on his side right? But putting them aside, instead of an honorable answer that bushido would have demanded from you, I received a surprise attack as payment for my courtesy and no explanations… Why was that? Why did you choose not to meet with me again?... Was your master afraid I might convince you? Were you punished afterwards? Was he testing you? Fully knowing that you were no match for me back then, he chose to hide in the shadows interfering until the last minute."

Leo bit her tongue. Trying to cut his tirade and push the inevitable train of thought. The long closed door conversation with her father following their meeting still hurt. Shell! She had to put with her brothers, mocking on how easily she had been played for a long while after that. _'Gullible fearless'_ had mocked Raph. Her father had been really angry and scared, acting as if she would betray them any minute. She had almost killed Raphael, again, she had lost control over a sword, a very nice sword but a sword. So she had basically lowered her head and accepted the reprimand without discussion. Trying to put aside the alarm bells her father's plan had trigger from her strategist point of view. _This, no doubt, will start a war we are unlikely to win, but for the clan's honor, it is. _ She had thought back then. Pushing the paths the shinobi ways would advice.

"Couldn't you have answered in a civilized manner instead of pushing us into this absurd war which has cost us both dearly? Many lives by the way, most of them rookies like the ones in the upper floor, but enemy casualties are of no importance to you I guess… It has been inevitable just as this Yoshi's death was and I would apologize to you but he was not forced to be guardian for what his scoundrel's brother told me, and he was my best lead to Mortu and the rest in that aspect we, Utroms, are the same. I don't force anyone to serve me, I invite them and they join the ranks voluntarily so."

"You framed them and then you curtail their freedom." she said.

"Do I? When they offer it willingly, they swear themselves to the Foot the same way you are sworn to your clan, the difference is: they had a choice. I have been doing this for centuries and there are other gangs around more vicious and depraved than the Foot with a higher mortality rate and less future benefits for they are rewarded when deemed worthy. I offer them a purpose, a mission and a sense of honor they seem to have lost or I would not have so many recruits; not all the Foot activities are illegal under the current human laws as you chose to believe. I also create wealth as a side effect of the many enterprises of the Foot. And what do you know about freedom?… Shinobi are not free unless you are the master and you don't pride yourself as such… Though why do you follow bushido eludes me… but let's continue or are you getting uncomfortable?"

She shrugged. She was getting uncomfortable with this talk but she would not let him know. "Whatever."

"I have given you a second chance and maybe a third but you refused me again; I reacted accordingly, you were a threat after all. You decided to be my enemy for you attacked first."

"Yes and you tried to kill us all, and blew the building. You don't take no for an answer apparently; your point…" Leonardo said; she was in for another headache.

"It is already affecting you… the thirst, the hunger… Then after several squirmishes which endanger both our lives and cost me a lot of money and resources for you almost killed me or got very close at least more than once and your family was endangered. You are actually lucky you still have your pack complete, usually wars take casualties from both sides. I know I have lost many valuable soldiers through the years."

"You endanger them."

"As you do. But let's go on trying to end the hostilities and, advised by my daughter, I chose to let you and your family be as a gesture for your help to Karai who made me realize it was a waste of time to pursue that absurd feud any longer and I concentrated instead on my business which had been my main objective for centuries, using the Triceraton technology that came from above: my long dream of leaving this rock and what do I get? Another attack! An unprovoked one! A suicidal one! And for whom? I still wonder. I was leaving Earth, you were not made guardian right?… It is not your duty to protect the Universe, nor the Utrom's, they have fare pretty well without you, they don't need you nor the humans your family seem to wish to emulate… Face it, you aren't one of them, you will never be…you are a freak to them: either they don't care about you or, as Bishop has proved, they actually despise you and fear you. Kidnapping the President was a nice touch." He said with a sneer. "Back then, I had not even bothered you and your family or allies for a while… You did it for the Utrom council?" He chuckled. "Let me tell you about them, I used to be part of it, they had forsaken many allies before as they did with this so called Hamato Yoshi, who you did not meet probably? Or did you?... I guess it was your choice, I guess an honorable one to sacrifice yourself and what you cherish the most: that seems to be your friends and family, but for whom; it eludes me. How did they take it by the way? Because had your plan worked none of us would be here."

_That had hurt__._

"The hero's pride… your pride…Was any of this your choice? Because if it was, I was mistaken and you are truly a fool." The Utrom said.

Leonardo remained silent, the arguments were good. Shell! She had exposed them herself to master Splinter, she had to admit. Her head hurt. "Why do you care what I think?"

"I care more than you think. Why you kept interfering? Were you trying to capture my attention?" The Utrom said devilishly. "Why have you brought us to this or rather, why have you allowed yourself to be drag into this?...You are smarter than that, as you proved rallying all the forces against the Tengu Shredder, which you were probably involved in freeing right?... Do you want me to continue or would you rather tell me what do you want to eat? You see, glucose deficit and thirst is clouding your mind or you would be answering back more proficiently, it is a very effective method of coercion and torture I know, I have used it, but you are not a prisoner, just a captive because you chose not to be a guest, so I don't see the point of your sacrifice… Poison, you fear? You would have to trust me on that, I am afraid, I have no interest on seeing you dead and I can force food to you but would you really want that? That is your choice, I am giving you choices at least, does your master do that?" he sneered.

"Energy bars and fruits would be fine," She said finally, gulping the glass of water with unease. She had made a plan but he was right, she will need her full strength to pull it through. Maybe it was time to start battling herself and accept her fate as kunoichi.

* * *

She met her master at the entrance, as she headed towards the exit. She did not feel like meeting his eyes.

"Leonardo…" he said

"What master?" she replied.

"You are not granted permission to leave" he told her sternly.

"The slave of the clan, I guess." She said with a sigh. "You and I know is better if I am not here, but I guess it is not up to me to decide, right?"

"Don't make me force you to stay," Splinter said reluctantly. "You know I can."

She sighed dropping the bag. "Whatever… you know, at one point in my life I thought that if I was good enough, you might even grow to love me even a bit, I guess I was wrong." she said sarcastically.

"How can you doubt that?" Splinter asked. "You are my child too I love you!"

"Maybe, but you love your vendetta more. In a sense, you are not that much better than the monsters that haunt your sleep." she said, hating herself for it but she could not risk it, she had to push them away.

"We need to talk." Splinter stated. "I need to explain you some things."

She sighed "You and your …." She was feeling dizzy and increasingly tired. Another blinding headache followed by an incomprehensible flash of memories, feelings. _Breath!_

**Let me show you my side of the story** she shook her head violently and started speaking in a very old version of Japanese. "I am not weak, I am not a weakness."

"Donatello!!" Splinter yelled summoning his son's aid. As he held her while the seizure started.

_

* * *

She looked at the full moon __she still had some bandages and felt a comforting arm around her shoulders. She was sad but she had a duty to her clan. _

"_You will be fine, Trust me__," the owner of the arm said._

"_And that you decided__?" she retorted sarcastically._

"_You know that if I c__ould…" the other started._

"_What? That you would honor our foolish childhood promises and you would wed me?… you love your ambition and pride more than me and there is more to us than that, don't trivialized it."_

"_You will be safe there, I need you to be safe."_

"_I don't want to be safe__ and I don't want to be caged… I can fight too, this is nothing." she said pointing at her arm. "I used to be better than you, maybe I still am, I just need to work a bit more. I am not weak, I am not a weakness and I don't need to be protected." she spat feeling her kunoichi pride being insulted._

_He sighed__. "You almost died, You are a weakness I am not allowed to have. That Lord is a good man, I know he will make you happy."_

"_That Lord has 5 wives and is an arrogant weak fool and is… not you, for the sake of the clan you might say but… I feel we will only end up hating and killing each other this way."_

"_What greater honor than to die by a loved one__'s hands?" He said swearing he will be one day powerful enough to free her._

"_Living is better," she replied walking away. "And I don't think I will ever forgive you Saki-dono."_

**

* * *

Author's notes**

Once again Thanking Lady-Kassy for her beta.

Thanks again for your reviews and ideas they do encourage me to continue. I am not giving up on the story I am just adjusting things to wrap it up. I am open to title suggestion on this one.

In this story I have been playing with perception I think reality is like a Rashomon play everyone has it's own perception of the events and that might lead to misinterpretation. History is the worse for you only have bits a pieces heroes were human too.

I insist sophist megalomaniac tyrants do take a lot of space. About my ramble Ok let's face it with friends like the Utroms who needs enemies. I think the Utroms have a big issue concerning Ch'rell I mean one against over a 1000, I suspect an inside job too. And are they sort of ashamed to recognized one of them had gone rotten? or why did they think the turtles would not need that information to aim correctly at least. Yes taking his head is not enough you have to impale his abdomen. Working with dangerous mutagens for reasons that were never disclosed, leaving Leatherhead behind yet taking Honeycutt who decided he did not want to live there etc. Yes let's not forget the turtles actually had to lure Mortu to ask him on Splinter's whereabouts hoping he would help it was not as if they kindly took him to heal him, which was good but they told them nothing. A simple he is fine don't worry would have prevent them from barging into the TCRI building.

Tyrants are said to have charming and charismatic personalities and this one has seen all done all, and you don't attract bees with vinegar after all which is scary and considering the number of vicious tyrants, Stalin, Pol Pot, etc who would make the Shredder pale in comparison, who have made it to power through history and who all believed they were working for the greater good, well on their perspective at least. I am assuming he would have a way with words to make even Leonardo giddy playing with half truths. Another thing is in SAINW the Shredder seemed to have gone insane after bringing down the Utroms and left me thinking was his grudge against the Utroms greater than his desire to leave Earth? Because he seemed to focus more on finding the rest of the Utroms during the series than in leaving and resuming his conquest campaign.

Usually in fics Leonardo can take everything and come out unscanted, which is usually any torture available, save for some awesome fics out there, I decided to play it differently psychological torture and coercion would be even more scary for Leo particularly on the state she is now. Which brings another topic I don't think Splinter is any Richelieu, would it not have been easier and more shinobi like to have Leonardo infiltrate the Foot and attack from the inside? Instead of declaring a frontal war that nearly got them killed. But then they would not be the turtles we all love.

I liked the Foot turtles concept the design was pretty cool, too bad Kahn is not half the villain needed to pull this through, we need more info on him a former Elite would have been cooler. Well at least the Shredder's alter ego is in character.


	42. Unforgiven

All TMNT characters are copyrighted by Mirage studios and were created by Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird. This almost qualifies as song fic the Unforgiven song was written by: Hammett, Kirk L; Hetfield, James Alan; Ulrich, Lars; belongs to Metallica and the record company Elektra / Wea and I am certainly not profiting from this.

* * *

"Do you think I have gone…soft?" The Utrom absent-mindly asked.

"Of course not my Lord!" The trembling soldier answered awaiting his verdict.

The Utrom just sighed and order him removed from his presence.

* * *

**Unforgiven**

Donatello helped his father to lay her on the labs bed once the seizure subsided, he looked at Leo's pale face, she looked even sicker than the last time, she had lost weight and was now apparently peacefully sleeping, she looked even weaker like that without her bandanna, as he had used it to prevent her from biting her tongue. Crossing his fingers, he would not have to try CPR for the plastron would make it impossible. He looked at his father accusingly.

The rat sighed remorseful. "Would you believe me if I said I did nothing?"

Donatello sighed as he looked at his father, disbelieving and analyzing the symptoms she was displaying. "I think she is on something." he whispered. "Any ideas? Something else…"

"My guess is a good as yours, my son."

Don sighed. "So what now master?" he asked.

"I think… we should keep this to ourselves for the moment." he said. "Not a word to your brothers."

"But father…" Don said, not understanding why had Leonardo's life been like that: secrets, half truths, blind obedience. He was already troubled… '_Perfect bubble worlds?'..._was that how she saw them: as selfish self centered brats? '_That is all you want, right?_' He sighed. Just how alien was she to them?

The rat lowered his eyes. "You don't understand my son; if the tribunal finds out… he… she is doomed."

"But…" Don said no understanding. _Yin fate_? Ringing in his mind "There is more than what you told me, right?"

Splinter nodded. "This is not a suggestion, it is an order." Splinter said. "I will talk to …her when she awakes."

"Do you think that is wise master?" Don replied. "Haven't you already done enough?"

Splinter sighed. "I made many mistakes my son, but keeping Leonardo was not one of them."

'_Honor and loyalty got the better of me,_' "She did not want to fight, right? _'I should have stayed in the jungle…_' She did not want to return?" Don asked.

"We should focus in the now and not in the ifs, my son." Splinter said heavily, noticing she became more unsteady and flinched whenever he approached. "Let the regrets to me"

**

* * *

New blood joins this earth**

**and quickly he's subdued, **

**through constant pained disgrace**

**the young boy learns their rules**

* * *

"Do you eat something else?" The Utrom asked looking at her meager meal which had not varied much. "Do you have any allergies I should know about?"

"Do you?" she asked calmly looking at the bowl her "host" had with what she assumed was gruel, but who knew. '_What do Utroms eat? What poison would work on them?' _she wondered. '_How did they adapt to a foreign planet's foods and environments_?' Don would have probably figured it by now. She sighed and gave a look at the Saki exosuit sat in front of her as she drank a bit of the tea with unease.

'_It must have been scary'_ she thought remembering her experiences being transported suddenly and without a warning more than once. They could not even breath the air some of the times. It had been a miracle they could last that long in the Triceraton spaceship, a real miracle. It was funny how things taken for granted could shake your ground and be determinant whether you live or die regardless of how powerful or important you were or how much you had trained. Nature always had the upper hand in the end and all living things were bound by its rules. Take out the air or change its composition and even the mightiest warrior will be nothing but a fish out of the water, gasping, slowly drowning. _'Utroms must be really adaptable,'_ she thought. Trying not to think how treacherous this would look to an outsider. Seated down calmly dress in an aikido gi like outfit, at least he had not force her one with the dragon paw because that would be blackmail material, She had even been given choices on the colors and designs. Sharing a meal with a sworn enemy of her clan! She breathed. Had it all been her fault? She thought suddenly. _Will the universe be really better without me?_ She wondered looking at the bottom of the tea cup full with jasmine tea. _Dark spirit in the making that attracts disaster_ She also had a bloody omen on her as if being told you were a glitch on the timeline did not suffice, well is probably the same thing. She would not show it but she had been terrified most of the times, of course she had never been able to show it to anyone, three freaked out turtles were more than enough as much as some of them tried to hide it. Four would have meant doom. If she had lost one of them back then? Would she have been able to go on? _Would I be any better?_ She wondered and sighed again. Well a life does not bring another anyway, she reflected, so it would be futile.

"If you live by the ifs, you will forget the now." the Ancient One had said and he was right, there were more important things at hand.

That had been the game, for the last 3 days, if he was getting information she will get it too. Funny, she was finally acting like a shinobi, her master would be proud. She thought sarcastically. But why did he insist in accompanying her for the evening meal was a big mystery. _Was he that lonely? _She wondered.

"You know you can wander in the garden, don't you?" he asked. "You could use some sun, you are pale."

"Like a little pet in your aquarium?" she said, not exactly the quiet life she desired.

"You are trying my patience youngling. Do you really desire to leave this existence so much?" he said looking at her straight in the eyes. "Are you trying to get me to kill you?"

"Caged life? Really does not suit me. I guess that is why heroes prefer heroic deaths" She said. Yes the movie Mikey had forced her too watch about superheroes trying to adapt to normal life, normal jobs had made a point about that. The reason why she had so much troubles after the spaceship thing, she had outlived her purpose and she had failed to restore the honor of the clan despite whatever Master Splinter or the Ancient One said.

Fortunately sleep did give her some respite; actually it was surprising how well she had slept lately. She had not given up of course: she was just taking her time, thinking it thoroughly. As long as she was there they will be left alone and since she was not there attracting misfortune _they could be partying for all I know_.

The Utrom stood "Don't hurry to meet your fate youngling."

"Could you stop that?" she asked.

The Utrom gave her an intrigued look.

"The youngling thing." She precised, meeting his glare.

"I mean no offense and I would if you could provide me with a proper name. Would turtle be better? Or should I use the seal you have for name which would be very impolite on my part." he said.

"Conceded" she said noticing something she could use.

"Betrayal, regardless of species probably the most painful feeling of all." He said.

She innerly grinned looking at the bowl glad to find that he really could not read her mind but she was starting to learn to read his.

**

* * *

With time the child draws in**

**This whipping boy done wrong**

**Deprived of all his thoughts**

* * *

She awoke in the lab during their conversation but did not open her eyes, she did not feel as she had rested at all. She could tell Don was reclined on a nearby chair, looking at his computer screen, scribbling things on paper. He was worried. She still was not that good, telling them apart; though she had been doing unconsciously for a long time, she just had never given them a conscious thought, that was why she was so good interrogating. The anxiousness was there and the oppression. That was really familiar it was how she usually felt. _Responsibility? Poor Don_

.

_The lab? __Why am I here?…_The last she remembered was trying to leave for a while after her display but she had to know…_Another episode? _She wondered as she went through the new memories it had formed. These human dreams or memories or whatever really made no sense, so why was she getting them? _Well since when any of this has made sense?_ If she had her pick she would want the ones that made that general the great warrior she was, one who could bring Ch'rell down but well. "T_he cape!" _she slapped herself. He had warned her, but she just had gone with the flow. She had allowed her emotions to overrun her for an instant and she had paid the price.

She slowly stood up, he was too worried and focused to notice her and she had gotten even stealthier these days. Well that happens when you are personally and annoyingly tutored by a strict master shinobi. **Of course! I met the founder of the school who came up with that one, this is why I know you are missing a movement**. He had said correcting the position of the sword. **You have been taught to dull your blade, no wonder you have some many battle scars…** It felt odd not to be covered by a yukata with geometric designs or the aikido outfit she had worn, not even her mask. It felt even odder not to hold a sword, one that had been crafted specially for her. She felt a bit embarrassed, but well she was a turtle and there was nothing they had not seen really, particularly Don. She sneaked out of the lab into her room and lay on her own bed. The reeking smell, the fabric of the bed also felt rough, well that happens after you been using 1000 thread ones. She had learnt the importance of resting by now, yes collapsing during a spar had not been her brightest moment, and after the third week she had began understanding Karai's point of view and her undying loyalty; that and she probably had a bad case of Stockholm syndrome too.** My greatest regret is not having the opportunity to train you personally from the start, you are too kind for your own good. **_Would I have been able to stand against him had he raised me? Or even feel the need to do it?_ She shook her head. It had been hard not to be swallowed in the marvelous world he was offering to her. A world where she would be treated with care and understanding, where she would not have to aspire to a world without pain, where her skills and abilities would have a real purpose.

"So what now?" She wondered. _"Pretend everything is fine, that I am…fine? That everything will be fine? Pulling another amnesia act would be nice though."_ She chuckled and considered covering herself with the cape but decided against it. She had tolerance before and headaches and migraines were much preferable than answering questions. Answers she did not feel like giving so she hung it out of sight and put one of her masks on. She was not really ready to be without it. **You will not hide in my presence, **he had said removing it and offering her a straw hat instead. Hiding? She wondered what had he meant? At the time, it had seemed like a fair deal and in a sense it had been, she just did not expect to learn so much about herself along the way.

**

* * *

The young man struggles on and on he's known**

**A vow unto his own**

* * *

"I did not do it!" the shivering turtle said breaking in tears in her sleep.

"What child? I am here you can confide in me." The Utrom said, 'finally' he had gotten through, it had taken 3 weeks, a lot of truth serums and other substances and battling the amazing mind defenses this creature had developed even with the bracelet, truly remarkable, not even an Utrom would have lasted that long but he had finally came through. Now the creature would be fully in his control for it would not be able to escape. Not anymore.

"He would not listen… Why would he?" she said blankly.

"Who child? I am here with you, you can count on me, you can trust me. Tell me what happened." noticing the… tears? in the turtle's eyes trapped in the past, hushing to ease her. "You can trust me."

"He thinks of me as a monster…I made father afraid again…Blood, blood everywhere, one of them … I did not do it, it was that one, that creature… I warn him but… Raph never listen…why would they listen to me?"

"What was it?" the Utrom asked. He had been betting on something unearthly.

"Human… monster what is the difference? It's not really his fault, his mind is not right…but he is threat, he will harm them… he was meant to bring them down he had gotten Raphie already, he was in the ground, crying for help. His blood is starting to come out and I watched from a corner, he followed me and foolishly tried to protect me as father asked him to…What should I do?... Mikey will be crying. He was right: monsters are real! Father is mistaken."

"What did you do?" The Utrom asked in a comforting voice, intrigued. "What did they make you do?"

"I could not let it happen though it was his…fate, but if father found out… he would send me away."

"Easy child, what happen? Where are you?"

"I am taking Raph back home, he is so heavy, he is so hurt… He is bleeding all over me and I am so weak, I'm tired of being weak; ever since the white face ones, I always feel so weak so cold… I am tired of being afraid, I am tired…he brought it on himself though, would father send him away too to the white face ones?! He disobeyed?...He was seen!... I can't tell…now is my fault again …father thinks so, he always does…I feel it, so now he is yelling at me, but at least he won't send him away… It is better this way."

"What happened with the threat?" The Utrom asked. A simple human, well they could be scary.

"Gone… for good but father can't find out. If he does, the White Tengu will take me and they will fall as it is their fate. It's better he thinks I did it, that I lost control."

"The white Tengu?" The Utrom asked. For some reason it sounded familiar.

"The remaining four; the ones who grieve their fallen comrade, the cursed ones. But father will listen to them, he took me to them…he wanted me to be fixed…so he would not see his own monsters, but they wanted to know things … I can't give them a reason to take me again because I will be alone again. I don't want to be alone, I don't want to be caged."

'_I promise I will be good, father! I swear! It won't happen again, I will be in control, but please don't send me away.'_ he can't find about that one, he can't find out about the others.

"Others?" The creature was no older than 6 or 8 apparently at this point, too young but well, it proved his point: other creatures were unable to understand those of their kind.

"Creatures who got too close, it is my fault, the voices said so. My head hurts, it always hurts now."

"You were protecting them, how can it be your fault? It's their fault for being weak." The Utrom said, relating somewhere deep inside him.

The turtle changed its tone. "I am weak, therefore is my fault… father believes it, father thinks I am sick, that I can't be controlled, that he had made a mistake…maybe it will be better if I was not here… The pit there is something there.... I'll grant him his wish."

"Why did you not escape instead?" The Utrom asked seriously considering going back to the city and gutting the rat despite having sworn he would not touch them.

"To where? The surface?" she laughed. "I'd just scare him again. He says that he will help me train my mind, that I will get better… Ha! He does not really believe it … I will prove him wrong; he even got me a weapon. "_They represent you Leonardo, you can use them to harm or protect." _She said sarcastically.

"A Weapon? How did you manage to control the unease?" It had taken a good hundred years for the Utrom… Now he was envious: this creature had managed in a day apparently. Yet it was miracle it had any control left.

"I didn't… Shinobi are master deceivers, I read about it… I created him…the warrior, one whose soul is a sword: so, unlike me, he does not feel anything, neither pain, nor regret, a tool on father's service. He does not need to think, he acts, he obeys… he is perfect! He won't be send away. I was a fool; I thought that if I was good enough maybe... still… I can't understand… he is training us. No! He is training _me_ to kill, I can tell… otherwise he would have given me a different weapon… he would have given me a choice, so I am in a pinch, how can I be good now? How can I honor the oath I made? He says only when needed…Bah! How can you fight a war like that?" She said hardening her tone. "Because he wants to wage war, he can't fool me, so why won't he behave accordingly and how can I protect and wage war?.... He won't listen and has decided that I should follow bushido. The rest cannot even name the virtues. But bushido? I thought we were shinobi. Well…_Rectitude? Aren't we freaks? We hide, we defy, what is normal. Courage? Well I can pretend to be strong, have been doing it for a while. Benevolence? Then why I am being train to kill? Respect? mmm… I inspire fear, that works too, honesty? Is it not deception, the shinobi way? Honor? Must be the clans. Loyalty? Well, I will put my life in the line for them, is that a given, filial piety? No, duty to the clan. Wisdom?__ I will pray for that._ There are so many things I don't know and I am not allowed to ask… Father thinks I am a weapon now. He still fears me, but if that is what he wants, filial piety obliges. I, sometimes, pity him: his monsters are scary… the monsters I believe I am meant to slay…I have a purpose now…I even have a new name: I am Fearless now, Raph named him… fearless is strong where I was weak, fearless does not falter, fearless doubts not, fearless can protect them all with the twin blades, honor and control the essence of my unstable nature, they listen to fearless, fearless is the son father wants, I will protect them, a fair deal…unfortunately…"

"What? Tell me you know you can trust me."

"Really? That is an issue, I can trust no one yet… they "sort of" trust me." she said sarcastically. "Now they despise me even more…but it matters not… they will be safe… I will carry my duty, I will protect them… I have become… necessary. I was appointed leader!"

"And you… where are you, the real you?"

She giggled. "Won't tell, they will take me, I am somewhere behind the mask." she said finally. "I am flawed… I am evil… That is how father call me…whenever I scare him and then everything is fuzzy. Now they envy me!?" she laughed. "Raph, my friend, now hates me: he is jealous and hurt, father spends so much time with me and he believes I took what was his rightful seat, so it is my fault, it is always my fault with him. Don resents me too for not helping him anymore but has not sought me either; Mickey is in his shiny castle, playing with his toys. I wish I could live there too. So in the end… I am alone."

"What have they done to you?" The Utrom said, looking at her, feeling rage. "Easy child, you have nothing to be ashamed, it is they who should be ashamed. You don't have to apologize for anything, the creatures and their feeling of inadequacy, I say we push them…close them away and let them pay for making us feel their unworthy feelings."

"But father said..."

"Hush sleep now …that rat could not understand, it is beyond him, but I can understand you. Trust me, I am like you… with me you won't have to hide, you won't have to do anything you don't want to do, just focus on me… no doubts… no regrets...power to change things and make the universe tremble! We make our own rules… we are truly free."

**

* * *

That never from this day**

**His will, they'll take away**

* * *

Unable to sleep she headed to the dojo and began to practice a kata. _This will not go away with meditation. _She thought, shell! She had not needed to do it in 2 weeks. **Fleeing again? **She clenched her teeth. **Stay no strings attached** she shook her head. She was lucky he had let her go. **Would Karai's head suffice to pay the vendetta to your clan?** She shook her head again. Bushido was that ruthless and harsh, if her master really followed it, it would suffice, if he really follow it he would not have doubted: she was that dangerous. **Stay; forget about them, I know you want to.** Don't pretend to read my mind! ** You really hate them, don't you?** "Hating is easy." she said, quoting the Ancient One.

**

* * *

What I've felt**

**What I've known**

**Never shined through in what I've shown**

* * *

"Do it then." he had said looking at the sword in her hands completely open for an attack, "as it is you duty."

**

* * *

Never free**

**Never me**

**So I dub the unforgiven**

* * *

"It is?" she had said sheathing the sword, a sword he had given her. "Who is rushing to his fate now?..."

**

* * *

Throughout his life****, the same**

**He's battled constantly,**

**This fight, ****he cannot win**

* * *

"_To__o much of futile thinking."_ She thought letting herself fall on her knees and hitting the mat with her fist and struggling to regain control, a control that had been so methodically taken from her. "This was far from over, and she had a shinken shobu to fight, she was honor bound to kill the only creature who had cared for whatever reason to know her at all, for a clan she was no longer sure she even belonged too."

**

* * *

You**** labeled me**

**I'll label you **

**So**** I dub thee, unforgiven**

**

* * *

**

**Author's notes**

Once again thanks a lot to Lady-Kassy for her beta.

Deeply appreciating all your reviews. Yes Mikey and Raph will have their chapters

This last chapters have been really taxing for me they were extremely difficult to write and I had to edit them a lot. I never thought I will write something so psychological.

**Stockholm syndrome:** An extraordinary phenomenon in which a hostage begins to identify with and grow sympathetic to their captor. Named for an episode that occurred in Stockholm in August, 1973 when an armed Swedish robber took some bank workers captive, held them for six days and stole their hearts. The Stockholm syndrome is not limited to Swedes. Patty Hearst, heir to the publishing fortune, was kidnapped in 1974 by the Symbionese Liberation Army. She later joined the SLA and participated in a bank robbery with them. More recently, Elizabeth Smart was kidnapped by a couple for 9 months. Elizabeth repeatedly had the chance to run away or ask for help but did not. It is now generally believed that she had the Stockholm syndrome, in which she formed emotional bonds with her captors.

That is the only explanation Leo can up with and she was not given the opportunity to run her hands are tied in this. The characters don't see the whole picture, they can't read the others minds. They only see what is in their sight as we do. Leo read a bit of biology during her research so that is why she is seeing that way.

OK my arguments Do you think someone could survive for over a millenia being stupid and brash as he is usually portrayed? Not likely. This diva megalomaniac tyrant who has decided to take center stage is shown managing to get undying loyalty from his subjects, even after his departure how he does it is never shown though he is shown reminding the crestfallen Karai he is proud of her in Exodus chapter 1 that is more than we can say about Splinter and Leonardo. So he should be able to read people like books, he has had a lot of practice. That is probably why he despised Stockman he could not bend him to his will so he tried to do it by force and it sort of backfired. Karai was kind of surprised he had gone that far with him so that hints that that punishment was not that common. But aside from Stockman he has forgiven Hun and Karai failures. He must be also a very mess up Utrom for they are shown to be gregarious "We are one"and to have empathic or telephatic abilities they mind commune, so being cut out from those would make him quite odd but he is still a villain and she knows it.

As I said before Splinter is not bad per se and he loves his sons but he make mistakes, and he is obsessed with his vendetta no matter how you tone it down, he does not trust his sons, which would be painful to Leonardo, or is overly protective at least in the series. So keep that in mind. Also the one talking is a very young Leonardo that has no idea why only her and has a childish reasoning to explain it. In a sense she did a lot to herself.

This chapter could be also be called Paradox Leonardo is a very mess up character a Shinobi who follows bushido Analize that! that is why we love him, he is a love hungry child, and with a reason he is his brother's keepers, he has been the responsible one since childhood as the older brother. Deciding to face the whole Foot Army never requesting help might shed some light on it. He would rather die that drag his brothers to danger, and the worst part the others take him for granted and defy him constantly particularly Raph. Usagi comments to Splinter hint that in this story. He knows being more familiar with what bushido implies that such pressure would eventually break his friend is unavoidable but he put up a good fight.


	43. Picking up the pieces where we left

All TMNT characters are copyrighted by Mirage studios and were created by Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird. Not Ready to Make Nice by the Dixie Chicks and Sony Music. Gollum's song by Howard Shore and Reprise / Wea. Les Miserables Lyrics by Herbert Kretzmer and Red Ink

* * *

_Forgive, sounds good  
Forget, I'm not sure I could  
They say time heals everything  
But I'm still waiting_

* * *

**Picking up the pieces where we left  
**

Donatello had been browsing for information about psychology and epilepsy for hours getting increasingly frustrated. _Was this how his brothers felt whenever he started talking_? _This was so messed up._ And he really did not want to analyze it fully. _Give me a circuit board, any machine… No problem!_ Those were easy, fix or change a piece here or there, tweak it a bit over there, figure what each piece does…

But the brain was a whole different thing; he had neither the expertise nor the instruments. What he would give for some of the machines he had seen in the future... The truth was that he had to cross his finger every time they tried something new. He was a living proof of that, and Leonardo's allergy to a cream made for humans, tested on rabbits, probably had made a strong point. They were unique and therefore most of the times they flew blindly on health affairs. Even food. And as much as he had toyed with the idea, during Leonardo prolonged absence, of making something to ease Raphael's temper tantrums, or giving something to calm out the obviously attention deficit in Michelangelo, Leatherhead's experience had deterred him.

In the end, it had been Leonardo's suggestions that worked more than less, not even the Utroms were really helpful on that. There were medications, of course, which were not made for reptiles, were not tested either. Ironically Master Splinter had the upper hand on that, human and rodent's physiology were more similar and even then, one mistake and he could really cause serious damage to the kidneys or the liver.

Agh! He wanted to scream. Great heroes they were. While they had been so busy saving the world…the galaxy… the timeline… etc. They failed to notice their leader was falling in pieces right before their eyes. They had been too busy… He had been too busy being himself. It had been so easy to think everything would be back to normal when Leo would return. Well as easy as their lives usually were. It was so easy to think everything would be solved once she would be back. She needed help but he doubted he would be enough. She needed a psychiatrist, a psychologist and a shaman probably or at least… someone she could trust_. _

_Was she human?_ Shell! Had she been human none of this would have happened. It would have been sort of obvious. He remembered a few years back after his return from that nightmarish dimension. He had unadvertedly fallen in a depressive state after seeing all his brothers fall. Leonardo had been able to tell something was up immediately after his return and had pestered him until he confessed everything. She had given him an eerie look back then. "It must be done then." she had whispered and then gave him a decided glare. "Don't worry Don, I won't let that happen." and then "She is a kindred spirit, I guess that is why I was unable to kill her." Was she comparing herself to Karai? Did she felt that way towards her family? "But it was as though he knew me inside out and when he promised me true freedom…" As a trapped pawn bound by duty.

He sighed, it was a miracle she had decided to stay with them or even returned. Well, at least she was now safely back. Sort of as she had not needed anything to control the… whatever that was. Now about that term she had used? _Chawaiva… Choiwa…Chuiva… Chachuiwa…Chusha…Ch… Quemes... verb? No....Messenger!… then… Chuchie? No...here Chuchaviva. _Rainbow goddess. _Rainbow messenger? That can't be that bad_… He thought _…_ _Female deity related to… sign of …and the area was not…_ Just how much had she been keeping to herself?

He decided to check on her. This was something he was not going to tell his master, at least not now. The idea of Leo losing control like that made him shiver and he slowly turned his head to find out she had sneaked out again. Fortunately he had taken some precaution this time. He sighed turning the Leo's tracker on.

* * *

"Leonardo?" Splinter called, looking at her hitting the mats. She had decided to make herself useful cleaning the dojo even though she knew she had to rest. She felt suffocated but she just had to close down everything… again.

_I should have stayed asleep_ she thought. _Visions, nightmares, more enemy fraternization… Who is next? Bishop?… Stockman? Ah! That would be scary. _She chuckled and sighed.

"Seito would be better Mas… Fa... Sen...Splinter..sa…ma." She lifted her head, having decided to make a distinction. Ironically hitting the mats was indeed relaxing and did not raised suspicions as hitting the punching bag did like Raphael who practically screamed '_Yes I am angry with the world so take it you damn punching bag'_ and gave her horrid headaches.

"Can we talk?" He asked cautiously. The last he wanted was to get her upset but it had to be done.

"What about?" Leonardo retorted. She was still a bit light headed and her master's emotions were somewhere she really did not want to go into. She knew she had said a lot of hurting things and, well, she would have to deal with the aftermath as she always did, but at least she had earned it this time. Fortunately. Well at least she hoped his emotions would not be as complicated as that Utrom. That guy had serious issues, but still… Well, she had somehow managed to pull herself together as it would not help if they found out how fragile she really was right now, because if she did show it…Well… Her strategy… She could laugh… would be for naught. _The deceiver. Yes they got me right! _ She had always been an expert on that pretending, she only wished she had gone through the whole kunoichi training too. **Take an eye for an eye! Turn your heart into stone!** The bastard really liked musicals. _He was a true drama queen deep inside_. She shook her head. _And he is the clan's sworn enemy!_ She reminded herself.

"I am not allowed to use the dojo yet? Should I have asked for permission first?" she asked without any particular intonation.

Splinter sighed. "My child!"

"Splinter sama… I am not a child either; not according to the Ancient One… So, please, stop treating me as such."

_For your master cannot carry your burden for you anymore, for you no longer child__. _"And I doubt the tribunal will consider me one."

Splinter sighed. _Just what was the Ancient One thinking?_ he wondered.

"_Don't get me wrong Splita__ san Leonardo good honorable warrior, good child, but something not right it feels…unreal."_

"How about calling me by my name?" Leonardo coldly proposed.

_Even that!_ "That was not my… " Splinter said remorseful.

"I know. And I am not blaming you. Sorry for my outburst before, I know it was out of place and completely undeserving. After all, you are the master. I will say I was not thinking clearly and was a bit shocked to find out you would tell Donatello. If you wanted me to get away from him, you just had to tell me."

"That was not my intention, I was worried" Splinter explained, somehow she was blocking everything. It felt odd as talking to an inanimate object and that was deeply disturbing.

"I know now, you were not given a choice. They can be rather… persuassive…"_ Yes, like one Icky overgrown… _She shook her head. "those four. But getting the truth first hand would have hurt less... and been less confusing" Leonardo said.

Splinter sighed. "I am so…"

"Don't be, it was your right. But you did not have to pretend I would have done it anyway. I mean that is what is expected of a shinobi, right?" _But then why she had not been able to?_ _Agh! Did she need orders?_ She had been able to slain a mental image of Splinter projected by that squid monster. She had had a moral hangover afterwards for a while, she had taken off on Raph and some start up gang members that got on her way, but why had it felt so… _wrong? He was so… Sympathy for the devil? _She sighed _Wasn't that her duty_? Even at the cost of her life, for she was certain she would not have been able to escape, not in the condition she was. Was it fear of the Foot and Karai's wrath to her family? They could take care of themselves now, they weren't kids anymore. They too had been Acolytes, they too were dragon avatars right?..._Fake dragons_… they had even gone to rescue when she was captured. _They did come for me?.... Great I do qualify for damsel in distress. I do need to do something about it! Just how pathetic have I gotten?_ _Honor maybe? It would not have been honorable._ She was really confused.

"I was not pretending." Splinter said comfortingly.

"Sending 13 or 14 year olds against an enemy that overcame Yoshi-sama and from whom our knowledge was limited at best… Mmm… Could have fooled me?…What I don't get is why did you send them too? To keep an eye on me in case I became treacherous?"

"Leonardo!" Splinter reprimanded.

She could feel the rat sensei's pain, pain she was inflicting but well. _I really should learn some moderation again_. **You apologize to no one, understood?** _I need to get this bastard out of my head._ She gave Splinter a half hearted smile.

"I did not do it by the way." She said.

"What?" Splinter asked, confused.

"I don't really care if you believe me or not, but I did not lash at Raphael… That time at least. But I guess it is unimportant." She almost whispered.

"Leonardo…why didn't you…" Splinter started feeling a knot forming on his throat but was interrupted by Leonardo's unreadable glare.

_

* * *

These tears you cry  
Have come too late  
Take back the lies  
The hurt, the blame!_

* * *

"Student, apprentice, slave, take your pick…Would you have believed me?" She chuckled._ I do need a new name but you won't be the one naming me._ "Splinter-sama I have a request! But it will have to wait." She said in a low voice turning and heading to the door. "Hi! Mikey!"

Before the obviously shaken Splinter could answer another voice was heard.

"Leo!!" As she was promptly smothered by one of Mikey's bear hugs.

Leonardo had changed her face expression very fast as she interacted with Michelangelo and Splinter saw with dread how little he knew of the turtle he had raised.

"Leo! Dude, it is good to see you around. Any new moves you want to share? From the humongous look on you, I guess the old fat guy put you in a hell of a training course!" Mikey said noticing Leo seemed lighter.

"Not really." She replied. _Well, at least, not the Ancient One. _"So any new videogames? Or anything new?"

Michelangelo was taken aback but well… "Well, invaders Blaster VII, but you obviously…"

"I would love to play with you, Mikey." She said. _Yes! Blasting things did sound fun._

* * *

_So in the end,  
I'll be what I will be,_

* * *

Donatello found her near Michelangelo and nearly had a heart attack. She just had a seizure a few hours back and now she was merrily playing videogames! "Leo!" he called.

"It took you a while to notice I was gone." She said uninterested as she blasted a couple of invaders ships.

"Stop this!" he said "We need to talk. You know you should not be doing this."

Leonardo just sighed.

"Hey! Dude, wait for you turn. I want to play with Leo too." Mikey complained defensively, giving Don an angry glare.

Don had to contain himself from pummeling Mikey who had not meant it that way probably. Fortunately for him Leo scent had been properly concealed or the season had ended, he really did not know. His mind was clear or he would be on the ground beating the hell out of Mikey.

"Do you want me to tell him why you should not be doing this?" Don said sarcastically. Leo could be really irritating regarding her well being.

She just sighed and put the control on the side and patting Mikey. "Sorry Mikey, another day. I am on sick leave again on paranoid genius leader custody apparently." she said.

On the way to the lab they met Raph who gave a suspicious glare to Don. "You are back?" he asked looking at Leonardo.

* * *

_No loyal friend,  
_

_Was ever there for me._

* * *

"Hi! Raph. Yes. What do you know? Scaredy delusional cats do come back. Sorry for the inconveniences this might present to you." she 'apologized' with a so cold glare that it froze Raph on the spot.

_

* * *

Now we say goodbye,  
We say you didn't try._

* * *

Mikey gave them all a distrustful look as they headed back to Don's lab. Something was definitely off with Leo, it felt as though the old Leo had come back, one that was not messing with his head and yet, it was. And, honestly, he could not say if it was good.

* * *

On the Foot quarters in Japan, the Utrom was having a fit while listening to the Miserables lyrics. The turtle had proven to be a worthy opponent more than he ever imagined.

_Who is this man?  
What sort of devil is he?  
To have me caught in a trap  
And choose to let me go free?_

He had been played! The turtle had played him. It changed the roles: it had methodically set a trap for him, as only the most talented kunoichi or shinobi could, and once it had gotten what it wanted, a solemn oath on something even he would not break: to leave the pack and the planet alone no matter what the outcome, something it should hate, it had dared to show mercy and gave him back the sword and demanded a shinken shobu. It was outrageous. He had to let it go_, for the moment_, there was just no other way not without losing his honor. Because he did have it, it just wasn't the sort humans might understood but this warrior had understood. He hit an invaluable piece in the floor, looked at it and counted to a 1000. _Yes murdering the staff would not do._

_It was his hour at last  
To put a seal on my fate,  
Wipe out the past,  
And wash me clean off the slate._

He was Ch'rell! He was the world destroyer! … He was the Shredder reincarnated! And he had been… played and bested again by an 18 or whatever year old, sick and intoxicated hatchling who should have either changed loyalties or hate him. Either way would have work with him. It was simply… There weren't words in the human languages to describe it.

_All it would take was a flick of his knife.  
Vengeance was his and he gave me back my life!_

Why had it shown mercy? And those eyes meeting his glare from his true eyes, those eyes who did not flinched to his glare but had made him flinched as only she had been able too. Those eyes. **"Who told you hatred was freedom?"**

_"We will have that Shinken shobu__, warrior, doubt it not and you will bow to me!" _

**

* * *

Author's notes  
**

_Once again thanks Lady-Kassy for still putting up with this story._

_Special Thanks to death of toast. Yes I know Shredder related chapters aren't as popular, but well they are interesting to write about. But still I do appreciate feedback. Plot holes, unclear things, mispellings you know?  
_

_Yeah. Leo has some big issues right now, I think the Leo in my mind still has not awaken from the shock and is not on cooperating much. Maybe I will coax them into another omake. Evil grin. _

Seito: pupil or student.

_Ok! Praise when deserved chapter btts __8 was OK story wise seems the writers returned finally! but the style department went on vacation their outfits were err? Circus acrobats? not to say inconvenient and not stealthy for turtles. Bring back Indiana Jones style Leo please or the Black Foot turtles gear; but I must say the Hack sign mimic 9 btts was truly amazing and the ending was superb for non story filler is a must see chapter. Fav line shape shifter noob Leo turns into a koi carp: this is humiliating! Frog turned Raph: welcome to my world. . Hahaha! I was betting on the virtual Shredder posing as the mysterious villain but this was just as good. Yeah villains do take time off._

_Chapter 10 Leo did only a cameo appearanc__e? But well All hail the writers return!_


	44. Deception, kunoichi is your name

All TMNT characters are copyrighted by Mirage studios and were created by Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird. And this is a non-profit fanfic. Aura song by See-Saw, Bandai and Victor record company.

* * *

The sun is in your eyes

The sun is in your ears

I hope you see the sun

Someday in the darkness

* * *

**Deception, kunoichi is your name**

"Leo!" Don admonished her again and was feeling terrible about it. _Was this how she felt whenever she tried to convince him to get some sleep?_ He wondered. Since master Splinter had ordered her to move into his room to keep an eye on her due to the atypical epilepsy episodes, and fearing she would do something drastic. It made the situation even more awkward because she had just stopped talking altogether to Don and Splinter as a sign of protest and just answered with bows and nods or really hitting things if they insisted. And Leo could be ruthless. She was avoiding Raph in a likewise fashion whenever he approached her. She was getting along with Mikey, if blasting things in videogames silently counted as getting along and, as soon as she thought no one was watching, she would sneak into the dojo or anywhere to practice now weaponless katas since Splinter had already gone through the whole equipment quite specifically as the day he had told her no weapons, she just stood still in meditation for 8 hours until Mikey asked her to play with him and she argued that since, she was a weapon, moving would also qualify and she would stop breathing but since master Splinter had forbidden her to leave, and dying would qualify as leaving, this was the closest she could do to obey the 'not handling weapons' order. Which ended with Mikey running to his father with a scared glance, begging him to be more specific about the punishment. She usually ended up falling asleep there also.

Right now, she was just playing with her fingers and gave Don a bored look as she had been caught asleep in the dojo again. But Splinter dreaded giving her any more orders which were not strictly necessary because he knew how seriously she was taking them and he dropped the responsibility on Don. She also refused to eat with them but would not give any reasons. Calling upon her right to remain silent, which was an inalienable right to all creatures even slaves, and giving Raph a glare that make him cower when he went to question her, as he suspected that she was on something. And she replied that she was on life and apologized for her inability to quit since Splinter's "orders override his in hierarchy."

"Would you talk to me?" Don begged. "How can I tell you how sorry I am? Look, he cornered me and this is not my idea." The whole notion of Leo being under Don's care had not gone great with Raph, or Mikey either, until they witnessed one episode of the atypical seizures she had had after which she would not say a thing, as though she was not surprised with them, meaning she had had them for a while and they were now all concerned.

She smirked and shook her head. _He really does not get it; he probably thinks I would disembowel him._ She thought amused. _He is probably thinking I am throwing a tantrum. Whatever! But why is he insisting when I can feel his fear?_ _He knows about my slayer facet_ and she knew he knew for she had seen the word written on his bookmarks. _So why would he care? Is LH's medication not enough?_ She wondered intrigued.

"I think you need to talk to him, Leo… I think you should consider listening to what father has to tell you. I know you must feel betrayed and used but…"

She gave him a disbelieving glare. He truly did not get it. Well, what was she expecting really? She truly no longer knew. Finer emotions were hard, so she resorted to observation. But apparently she overdid it as she could feel Don clumped emotions and then something she did not understand.

"What can I do to prove to you that...?" Don asked.

She approached him and put her finger on his lips and shook her head. Don blushed looking at her deep hazel eyes which portrayed more curiosity than anything. It felt as though she was looking inside his soul and for once, he could lose himself in those eyes.

_It feel__s warm_ she thought; _Odd indeed._ _He has a nice ki, after all, not as asphyxiating as_… _Would it be selfish if I took some of that warmth?_ She wondered and she felt a pinch on her wrist and decided to break the silence.

"I know Don, I know what he has to tell me, I don't blame him, it was not his fault, not really, in any case it was… I mean, he decided to keep me despite all my flaws." She said with a sad smile. "I can even foretell which words he will use, I can hear the words of apology… and I feel his pain but right now: I just don't want to listen to it, it is too much for me, I am not ready. I need some time. I will talk to him but not now. For now I am just on testing phase."

"Testing?" Don repeated, confused.

"I am learning to…" she stopped to meditate on her words. Endure your presence? _Really harsh_. Keep your emotions from driving me insane? _Too dramatic_, "How I am really Don? Guess I am a little lost. Sorry for worrying you, I will be more discreet from now on."

Don sighed. Knowing Leo, she could start her 'I am fine act' and it would be even worse because then they would be completely clueless. "Leo you don't have to pretend you are fine if you are not."

"Why do you care Donnie?" She asked suddenly. "You do know what I really am, why haven't you told them? You know what I am capable of… I can sense your fear. I am beyond your help."

"NO YOU'RE NOT!" Don yelled and then softened his tone, taking her hand. "You are not."

"Perspective?" she said ironically. By now she had given up on completely getting rid of the brainwash he had unadvertedly subjected her too. _Another Utrom trait I guess_.

"Would you have given up on me?!" he asked quite sternly meeting her eyes. Those were not the eyes of a monster. "Wait I don't have to ask, you did not. I am indebted to you!" he said finally.

"I was just doing my job, Don, nothing more. That is why I am here for, that is my purpose. You owe me nothing." She said, averting his eyes. It would be too selfish after all. So she rubbed herself. It felt so cold.

Don snapped and lifted her face trying to catch her eyes. He wanted to shake those notions out of her and got lost in her eyes which had lost their contained and calculating glare for an instant and now held so many emotions. He breathed. Containing his impulse to kiss her again and hug her to make her realize how much she meant to him. But that would not be advisable; she had bigger things to worry about, so he released her immediately.

_That warmth again__._ She had to stop it, she had to leave now. She did not deserve those feelings. So she hardened her glare into a sarcastic sneer.

"What considering about my offer?" She said devilishly. "I would not…" She had to stop for her wrist burnt. She would mind but, well, if that was the price of keeping him away… She was a kunoichi, was she not? _In training. _She had not been able to completely keep off an enemy, so someone she cared about? She had to stop this line of thought. She had to pull this from the root. That was the problem, she did care more than she wanted to acknowledge. She was weak, she had to regain control. "Hell I might as well…organize a schedule for all of you. I mean, it will be a matter of time before it becomes my duty too right?" She said sarcastically.

Don gave her a disappointed, almost pained look, and answered immediately "No! That is not my…"

Was she feeling his jealousy? This was bad, She would have to talk to LH about this. Maybe she needed to increase the dose. She had to keep Don out, he was dangerous for her. "I know I am not much to look at, but I can feel your lust, you know? I am an emp…" She had slipped, she had been careless. She took her hand to her mouth and started shivering because that took her somewhere she really did not want to go, memories she really did not want to go into, feelings she did not want to have, she could not, must not have_. Stop battling yourself Kumquat_._ And what do you expect me to do?!_ She wanted to scream, taking her hand to her head.

Don gulped; he had gotten her upset again. He had to stop it before she had another episode. She had been saying that for a while, now that he thought about it. _"Feel his pain, feel your fear, feel your lust? emp._. ? Empathy?… The action of understanding, being aware of, being sensitive to, and vicariously experiencing the feelings, thoughts, and experience of another? Empath? Someone who can supposedly tune with others emotions. But it would be absurd….Leo did not… Well, why not? They had a projection psychic after all, a genius and a hothead… _Was Raph the normal one?_ He wondered. That is so wrong. But her emotions were sealed but then, how did she know when one of them was down or needed her help? When someone needed comfort? How she seemed to be able to read their minds sometimes and yet appear completely oblivious of other ones like Raph extracurricular activities. He gasped. Three hormone driven territorial turtles, one guilt oozing father. Damn! No wonder she was so...

"Leo?" Don said with some apprehension, taking her left hand gently between his. _Your brother was different from the rest of you: too kind, too caring and maybe too mature for his age, acting like your protector since a young age._ _He was a good kid overall, but sometimes he did things… that were…unusual._ She freaked him out sometimes as though she could read his mind, maybe that was what Splinter had meant. _What he did have was a very compassionate soul and an extremely sensitive spirit and he felt everything too intensely... _"You are an empath? Can you actually feel what I am feeling?" But why did she act like that? Couldn't she feel how much he cared about her?…But then… she was sealed! Her emotions were supposed to be sealed! By that accursed tribunal. Was she getting all of theirs and were all of them understandable for her if she could not relate to them?

She jerked away at Don's touch and shook her head. "Stay away!" And then started uttering what appeared to be a song in a language Don could not understand but he could swear he had heard it before.

* * *

"_Who cares about the__se… insignificant creatures, there are plenty of them where they came from… the same pathetic lot don't concern yourself." He said wavering. She had scared him._

_She looked at him straight in the eyes, she was used to it, to feel their fear, and she just did not expect it from him. She did not expect it to bother her. "Can we risk it? You know it was just a warning, a farewell gift from my masters. I was not meant to be free after all. Next time it could be… uncontrollable."_

"_I would not cage you! I'd rather delay the campaign. Hell! I would make a truce with them." He reassured._

"_You would? But…?" She said not understanding his reaction. Did he care about her? That was so odd. "Why?"_

"_Y__ou are more important!" He said reluctantly looking distraught. "Your well being is much more important."_

_She gave him an odd glare.__ "Maybe that is why we went extinct, we never stopped and we did not care enough." She said, remembering the last stand of her people against the Utroms. They had won the battle; there was none but a Rylian left standing. They had lost the war. It was the last one, a dead end, a flawed one. Their ultimate weapon was released to even the odds, a weapon that had lost control and had slaughtered friends and foes and thus had ended with the remnants of her own race. And it was so quiet so peaceful. As she played with her restraining bracelets which fell as her master fall. She was finally free and she was completely alone, would always be._

"_That is the nicest thing anyone has said __to me… It is so Unrylian that it hurts. Maybe you should give it a go to make peace with them; you are Utrom after all, most of you at least. I feel your pain too, you actually miss them." She shook her head. "Even then… Only one." She said taking the bracelet out. A reminder of her crime. Her cage, her salvation. "I would not have another ally's blood on my hands, less yours… again, curse the fates!"_

"_Again? You are talking nonsense… again." he replied._

"_When have I not?" She said, containing the sudden urge to slice him so she would not feel how he felt, so the voices and pain would stop. She covered herself completely with the cape, the shield he had made for her and sighed looking at the cold metal piece. _

"_I swore I would protect you! This is not…You swore to be by my side so I would not be…" He said. _

"_You won't be if you do the right thing and since when have you been able to protect me?!" She said disconcerted. "My life is my own, as yours is your own, never forget that and… should one of us fall, well… the other goes on! I believe that one was a war song and with this trinket I am... in control." _

"_You become a slave and… you are also more susceptible too… and I won't be here for a while I can't." he said. _

_K__nowing the song I will sing_

_T__ill the darkness comes to sleep_

_C__ome to me, I will tell_

_'bout the secret of the sun_

_I__t's in you, not in me_

_B__ut it does not mean a thing to you_

"_I know. It seems there is more than one youngling here. Someone has some growing up to do too." She said condescendingly. "If it comes to the worse…well… we will meet again someday or another and we will have a hell of a time or I would put you through hell, it's hard to tell." She said looking at her reflection on the metal envisioning a dark grey creature with a light grey kind of cloth over her eyes with sharp weapons on her back, a decided look in her eyes. "Not much for looks though, and I guess you can't beat fate enemies again then." she added more to herself, as she saw herself battling her only friend._

"_More nonsense!" The Utrom spat, concerned._

_She just laughed with mischief._

* * *

"No!!" Leo screamed starting to cry in the darkness "No! That is not true, it can't be!"

"What, Leo? Tell me please? What can I do for you?" she could hear a voice calling her.

She awoke finding herself in Don's arms and blushed ashamed. _Had he taken up my offer? She _thought unsettled at first but felt a bit comforted as Don was just hugging her, trying to ease her and once again letting her feel his warmth. It was almost as being covered with the cape but even more comforting. It would be so easy to remain in his embrace, to let herself be l…. She would not fool herself with such silly thoughts. _Who could love a monster but another monster? _She sighed meeting Don's eyes with a neutral glare. It would be so easy to lose herself in his dark brown caring eyes. She shook her head. She was on the floor again?! Another episode, an unsettling one. She lifted her left arm_. So that is your story?_ She thought, looking at the bracelet and standing up by herself pushing the disconcerted and concerned Don who had hoped he would be able to hold her a bit longer._ I thought he had tricked me on that one, but why the mixed feelings?_ When she had felt his possessiveness whenever he was near her… She sighed again.

_He will never let me__ go_. She thought with cold acceptance _Why would he? He would have given up the universe for her_. And a question lingered _What had happened afterwards?_ The story of my life… lives? She shivered. What now? Watch out for the next episode of Shredder: the melodrama! She started giggling uncontrollably and stopped suddenly remembering she was not alone.

"You know Don, you should be concerned more about yourself. I won't be around forever you know?" She said sarcastically heading out of his room. "I will sleep on the couch for a while. Guess the observation time is over."

* * *

**Author's notes**

Once again Thanks to Lady-Kassy for her beta.

Special thanks to deathoftoast**, **royalfrog and dragonlilly1993 your reviews are greatly appreciated**. **Don't be shy with them.**  
**

I liked chapter 11 but gotta say the writers are biases towards Raphael and Michelangelo lately and play arbitrarily with Leo's skill. Come on Splinter considered Leo was in need of a new more skilled teacher that was why he was sent away Splinter could no longer keep up with him, and he made a strong point to Karai she basically admitted defeat, took 4 of the Ammag overgrown comrades before they left to the future while Mikey was having issues fighting one. In the flashback to the past he had the upper hand with the Shredder from the Shredder strikes back, is always shown training and in BTTS he seems to have slack training. I have theorized that Leo holds back whenever he is near his family the fight with Raph in the movie ringing a bell anyone else thinks the same?

The Shredder might see OOC but he is depicted oddly in the series sometimes as a cunning evil overlord concerned abut keeping the appearances and others like a deranged psycho like in this episode he must have bipolar personality or something. I will remind you that from his perspective he had "patience" with Stockman, the guy had backstabbed him numerous times (Who wouldn't, actually what was Stockman thinking after the first punishment?) and tried to kill him in return to New York how more obvious you get. But it was until he did something that endangered Karai that he chose a replacement and he is quite lenient towards Chaplain.

Well is me again, Wrapping a story is hard particularly as everyone wants center stage. And the main character is not on cooperating yet. Actually is in death threat mood. So if if you think Leo is too OOC let me know.

When one reads history little details is notorious how close to the end conflicting parties were until something happen that changes all a missed letter a late message someone getting or not killed by accident. The Chinese proverb from the Tao Te Ching your enemies are not demons is quite true unless you are with the turtles or dealing with a two year old those are scary

No one asked about the Chuchaviva the name is real the combination of words probably not, but well in the beginning I was going to use a word in nahuatl as the Yoatl word rings a bell and then I realized it made no sense because in Central America words from the Mayan languages will make more sense but could not place the likely country and I completely forgot about Guatemala as someone pointed out in a fic. So I thought Leo had been originally southern and moved around following the remnants.


	45. The Kunoichi and the brawler

All TMNT characters are copyrighted by Mirage studios and were created by Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird. And this is a non-profit fanfic.

Aura song by See-Saw, Bandai and Victor record company. Century Child by Nightwish and Phantom Sound & Vision record company.

* * *

_I've never felt so alone in my life_

_As I drank from a cup which was counting my time_

_There's a poison drop in this cup of Man_

_To drink it is to follow the left hand path_

_

* * *

_

_'Something has changed__. Who has dared set his eyes on you?' the robotic voice said raising her chin._ The hazel eyes faltered.

**The Kunoichi and the brawler**

Raph's attitude could have been better. And he knew it. He knew there was something going on regarding Leo's return and "sickness" and he was being left out again, as well as Mikey. But Mikey lived in ignorance bliss and that irked him to no end. Bested once again… And by Don? It was unfair! He had not been given even one fighting chance. And fearless seemed to be in jerky scary mood, well, at least he was no longer playing with his mind. _Though…?_ He shook the thought away. Come on… Don does not have a single ounce of leader in him! He had kept a respectful distance from Leo because Leo's words and glare hurt more than her swords, which she did not have, and there was the issue of the so called deal he had heard about and had not found a proper time to bring it up. So he had made a habit on picking on Don whenever he could, teasing him about even the slightest detail.

He had seen one of Leo's "sickness episodes" and had felt terrible about the… what ? _Faking next your death?_ …comment he had made as her response had chilled him: _"Shinobi's lives are bound to the clan. Ask our master!"_

"Bushido?" He wondered.

"So what, Ô brainy leader, any breakthrough on the mess you made with our rightful leader?"

Don had resorted to ignore him, Leo's apparent empath abilities heavy on his mind. Of course she refused to talk about it and had actually been avoiding him more lately, making his duty even harder, so dealing with Raph was not something he wanted to do.

"This was not only my doing." he replied rather bitterly.

"Yie, trouble in paradise? What? He is not what you expected?" Raph sneered.

"You know, Raph…." Don was about to answer back but he contained himself. _Making Raphael angry will do wonders with Leo's current migraine… _And he had more important things to do. "Forget it! You would not understand."

"Chickening out!" Raph said to the leaving Don, not noticing Leo's presence in the dojo, Leo who looked at him with an admonishing glare and cornered him as soon as Don was out of sight. Some things did not change.

"Go easy on Don!" she hissed.

"Says who? You?" Raph mocked. "You should be most angry about this." He muttered.

"Me?" she said, disconcerted.

"We should be after that b..." Raph started. Leonardo had finally reported to Splinter and claimed that it had been just another fight with Karai and the Foot, that sort of slip out of control due to something in the air, nothing to worry about. But Raph wanted her to pay. That squirmish still was taking its toll on them, something was definitely off with Leonardo but he knew better: he would never get the full story from him. Shell! He was still waiting on the full report from his spectacular landing when the Shredder threw him at their window. Got careless did not count!

"Manners!" she cut. _Some things just did not go away_, she thought with irony.

"OK! That _w_itch, for what she did to you."

"Oh? So, you are going to avenge me?" she said, smug faced, crossing her arms_. Well practice was practice._ She thought, and she had to face Raphael sooner or later "Thanks for your concern but I can take care of myself, Raph. I believe it is useless to indulge in futile… unnecessary fights."

"Unnecessary? Spare me the bushido nonsense, she is no better than her father!" Raph snorted. "Then what? You are going to let it go?!"

"Unless I have specific orders…Yes" She said uninterested. "And I must say, you and what army? I mean, no offense, but do you think you can take them down completely? Because, otherwise, it is just asking for trouble." Leonardo just laughed. She had seen the Foot's power and capabilities in Japan, Ch'rell had not held back information from her and she knew enough about Ch'rell to know what he was capable of if someone endangered something he cared about. _Don't go there! _

"What is so freaking funny? I also went through the tribunal mumbo jumbo, ya know? And I can give you a run for your money." Raphael spat angrily.

"That?" she said, detached. "Have you even tried to summon those abilities again? Because I have. They would have come in handy in the future. Ever wondered why we trained with those medals? Ever wonder why our skills seemed to have rusted after that? Face it Raph, they basically took everything we learned with them when they left, including the soul weapons. They are cautious after all. I can imagine you playing 'Let's fry the crooks' with your bonrai, or whatever it was called, as the mighty Zeus playing god among the mortals." _Yes like one slimy treacherous…_ Raphael's character was freakingly similar to the old Ch'rell and that was why she had been avoiding him lately. _I am not ready after all. _She thought, starting to feel dizzy with Raphael's emotions. _They are too intense, too conflicting, too confusing… One could get burn there._ She thought._ That is why I close them long ago._

"At least _I_ got one." Raph mocked, regretting it almost immediately.

_But no entirely, Ch'rell knew when to stop._She thought darkly_. _

* * *

"Good day Donatello." Leatherhead greeted through the phone.

"Hi LH! By any chance are you done checking that sample?"

* * *

She sighed and answered almost absent-mindly, starting to get annoyed. "Yeah, that is true, because you are one of the worthy sons, I guess." She looked at Raphael's shocked face. _He really thinks he can take on Karai and the tribunal_? "Talking about someone needing to get down from cloud nine, we could not escape from their wooden soldiers when they forcefully recruited us to solve their mess, what makes you think we would have a shot?"

"We beat the original, Fearless, when they could not have, you forgotten that too? But I forgot, you are no longer leader, no longer fearless, right? You are just quitting on us again!" Raphael spat regretting it immediately.

"What if I am? It is not like you will miss me right?" She chuckled ignoring his fearless stories; it was something she really did not want to bring up. _Had things been different_, she wondered, _what would we be?_ As children, before that incident, she had always been sort of close to Raphael. She saw him with certain awe, her role model, he was strong, he spoke his mind, he was fearless…. She maybe even had a childish crush on him back then that turned into a brotherly rivalry… that degenerated into just rivalry, but after all these years… Too much had been said, much more remained unsaid and the rift between them had become too deep. She had been avoiding him for too long. For a while when he had helped her reforge her swords and put herself together, she had thought that, maybe, they could fix things, but in the end, it was just wishful thinking. She had her confirmation on the rooftop: she had felt his killing intention; she had felt his hate and seen the anger in his eyes. And she had given up. She sighed. Well Splinter could not complain she was not obedient: she had driven him away permanently.

"_It is you?__ They told me you had died!" The surprised hero said to the black robed enemy._

"_Well they told you wrong" The __deserter kunoichi turned dark priestess spat sarcastically._

She shook her head, she hated these human visions, or whatever they were, for they were more fragmented and confusing and too intense. "We beat him?…Yes using 'Karai's help' to weaken him, the energy amplifiers, master Yoshi's guide, a lot of luck and his own insanity." _ Raph is really conceited. _She thought.

"_Saki?! The Shredder fake human identity, he was real?" She had asked with some apprehension… the face…the name, the story, they were oddly familiar, yet something was missing._

"_Don't interrupt Leonardo!" The Ancient One had said._

_Another secret I guess_. She sighed.

"And what does that has to do with the Shredder's spawn? She is a freaking human girl." He said disconcerted.

"Girl? And that makes her less… _lethal_?" she asked, fixing her glare on him, she was getting truly annoyed. "Never underestimate her, Raph never, you hear?" she warned seriously. _And unlike him, he is bit misogynous but well it was expected._ She shook her head? "She has a whole army at her disposal, lots of money and an endless supply of recruits…" she said ironically. _I don't get humans._ "While we have ourselves, Don's salary and some not so wealthy allies… we should be thankful she is still much of a lieutenant and she lets her emotions and notions of honor govern her."

"And since when does it matter? What? Are you afraid of your crush?!" He mocked.

She sighed. "Let's do this: I will mimic Karai's fighting style and," she added devilishly, "if you can beat me, well, I will do… anything you ask."

"Anything? Don't you have to ask your sane half-excuse of a girlfriend for permission?" Raphael said, letting his not-so-pure-thoughts intervene. Fortunately they weren't as bad as before. But still… He shook his head. Leo had to be joking. It was extremely difficult to tell with Leo lately.

"What? Jealous of Donnie?" she mocked.

"What is to be jealous about?" Raph snorted angrily.

Leo gave him an intrigued glare and sighed once again. "Nothing really…You are right… Well… Yes…Anything you can think of." she repeated coldly, even without the blasted pheromones… _This is bad! I definitely will increase the dose AGAIN!,_ she thought, feeling… was that…? _I don't want to know! _"I will even make a case for your right to wear the leadership mantle to master Splinter-sama on your behalf, not sure he will listen though, but if not… you go easy on Don, it is not his fault; if anyone, blame me for getting demoted."

"You got game!" He said, he so missed sparing with Leo.

Leo got in character, increasingly upset. "Karai… Karai is lighter than me and you, she has human flexibility, we don't have and has a speed advantage over you. Not so much over me for she always carries a light armor."

"Yeah, yeah! Cut the flowers for your girlfriend." Raph said, dismissing the odd thoughts and considering making Leo hang with Casey and him for a skull busting session, that would definitely distress him.

She chuckled. _If only he knew... _"We are fortunate… she has not used poisons… yet, but we can't discard it, so if you ever see her taking out neko te, stay away from her for your sais are the worst match for those and she has a deadly precision." Leo unconsciously rubbed her neck.

"Because it would not be honorable to slash her?" he spat.

"She is kunoichi, Raph, don't forget that!" Leonardo said darkly.

"_Why?" He asked__ looking at her eyes. _

"_For the sake of the clan." she replied, "that was what you wanted right? You seem to have forgotten what I am."_

"Kunoichi are not bound by those rules for they usually fight an uneven enemy, so skills and timing is everything. In essence, they are the true shinobi, the true deceivers, they concern themselves about results, the methods are unimportant… fortunately for us, she is not a true kunoichi."

"You should marry her if you like her that much. If it does not make Don jealous of course," Raph mocked.

Leo laughed sarcastically. "Yeah right, she is totally my type… well Karai uses a tanto and prefers long distance, if you could get close enough, you could squash her neck, you and I are stronger than her, but she is taller than you and that gives her more environmental sight. And you need to look up to her, which might be distracting and… well, her gender would also be distracting."

"I am not that devil spawn's fan, that is you!" Raph spat getting increasingly upset about the glare on Leo. That took him somewhere he did not want to go.

"Right!" Leo mocked. "She can fight 'dirty', which Splintersama did not teach us." _And it would have been awfully convenient, _"and she would do anything within her power to get even with us."

"Because your girlfriend is freaking insane."

"Raphael, learn to respect your opponent if you want respect." she lectured, about to take a boken from the stand, but remembered she was not allowed to. "Wait a minute." she said, heading to her room and returning with the ink stone she had gotten from the Ancient one during her first stay in Japan and a plastic sword from Mikey "Also her sword would be much resistant that anything we have here."

"More sword babblering?" Raph spat. "You are going to take me with a plastic sword? You get more wacko by the day."

"Absolute obedience is required of shinobi and samurai Raph, it is part of the job description. Until death does us part. Literally" She smirked.

"_Why that is that, I must ask." she said about to stab the dagger._

She shook her head again. "Though the weapon does not make the warrior, it can be a deadly combination, the most I could spend on a sword would be 100… 1000 pushing it a lot, that is why I usually forge them but I am not a swords smith. Whereas she can buy anything she wants, custom made." _I miss that sword._ "The one she usually uses, I bet it would cost me about 10,000, at least to get something similar. That is were skills make the difference. That or get one forged in the Battle Nexus, but that a different matter." _Maybe I should go there…_ "The trick you used on me on the roof top that day would not work on her sword; but that aside, you will never get that near to her. She will have Chaplain or her personal guard to come up for the strength factor to even the fight. She is a kunoichi raised to fight par with stronger shinobi. Even Hun fears her. She is ruthless. She has to be." she said as she started making ink.

She stretched a bit and held the plastic sword looking at it and slid it in the ink. And breathing deeply, she added: "Also she would not stop."_ Something to take in account for that fight. _

"Because she is insane." Raph snorted again.

_She gasped__, feeling the fake dragon's spear pierce her. A vicarious sacrifice? They did not understand._

"_Release him now!" they ordered, hoping that with her demise their friend would be spared_.

_She just laughed.__ "You understand nothing!..."_

"No because we took her world from her." Leonardo replied with a dark smile that would make Karai's looks pale.

As Leo started her Karai imitation, Raph understood the gliding thing about Leonardo Casey had mentioned as she faced him completely detached and lethal. Leo's fighting style had changed completely as she glided through the dojo, lashing quick and slick lunges with the plastic sword that, had they been done with a real blade, it would be dangerous, Raph had to recognize.

"One cut here and forget about you hand mobility." she said, leaving an ink trail on his left wrist. "One cut there, sayonara your hand." She continued, marking his right wrist.

"One slash here, you lose mobility and speed and also would feel excruciating pain." she left an ink mark on his calf, Raph began to notice she was really too fast for him.

"Others here and you won't be able to walk." she said coldly marking his ankle.

Raph was starting to get scared as he saw several ink trails crisscrossing his body. He had seen Leo act like that before once, and it had not been pretty.

"One here and you will drown in you own blood. Yes, Karai would appreciate that!" she marked his neck, completely detached. "Of course she would not run you with her sword as she did with me in the spaceship, for she will not risk getting it stuck unless she has no other choice to make things even. The shell is not invulnerable to a good sword like the one she uses… one here, and you would not be able to breath." She said hitting him with the also inky hilt.

"Simple to cut your head off… no, that would not be her style… it would be not enough for the creatures that separate her from the only creature who ever treated her with kindness… No, she would want them to suffer. Imagine Raphael… coming back home, finding it trashed with everything you held dear taken from you, imagine… you can put the pieces together but one is missing… just imagine…" She said darkening her tone "… we had not been able to recover master Splinter or Mike or Don, imagine you knew the one responsible is still free and carefree, enjoying life with its loved ones because luck is benign with them… Imagine because that is how she felt. She would want them to pay to experience her suffering and I would. I don't know about her, but I would have tracked the responsible one to hell itself, or rather, tried to make him go through hell." she said darkly, stopping completely, looking at the ink dripping from the plastic sword into her hand. She felt its cold feeling so similar to the texture. She turned her head to the side.

"Don't you dare hold back on me!" She yelled suddenly in Japanese cutting the air with the plastic sword.

"Leo!" Raph called, now downright terrified at the look in her eyes, avoiding her lunge, but she had miss. It seemed as though she was fighting somebody else, he discovered, surprised. He shook it off and put his hand over her to shake it off. "LEO!!" he screamed as he saw her start laughing madly.

* * *

"You found what?!" Don exclaimed.

"Whose sample is this?… Is this sample from Leonardo?!" LH asked.

Don remained silent.

"Bring that stubborn girl here immediately" LH commanded.

* * *

_if you are near to the dark_

_I will tell you 'bout the sun_

_you are here, no escape_

_from my visions of the world_

_you will cry all alone_

_but it does not mean a thing to me_

_She __laughed after hearing the charges against Ch'rell and herself before the Utrom council, they might have taken her shield but they would not take her pride. She shivered, feeling their intrusive thoughts. Their fear, their prejudice... She wanted it to stop._

"_So? What? You are going to trial me for being Rylian? Had he been fully Rylian, this war would have favored a different species." She said defiant. "But I couldn't care less about my selfish master's lot. I am not going back to them."_

"_You are to turn him in__, so he gets appropriate treatment away from your corrupting influence." The three heads said._

"_I corrupted Ch'rell? You hypocrites! Of course blame the Rylian, you weren't that picky with us during the war, were you? Before he outlived his purpose, he was a war hero, wasn't he?" She laughed. "So, tell me if I understood well: I turn him in so you can brainwash him again? And as payment, I get to live caged for life under outer circle Rylian care refugees, who abandoned us to our fate, and I am supposed to be grateful to you?"_

"_What is a Rylian doing protecting an Utrom? He has seen the light and has negotiated a truce. He led us to you." The council said, disconcerted. _

_She faltered, looking at the bracelet, she could not know but well… _No promises after all._ and sighed. _

"_That is bad… but I am not protecting an Utrom__, I am choosing on my own free will to defy fate and not to betray my slumbering treacherous and only friend, but that, your spineless lot would not understand… For now, let's see how many of you I can take down before you take me down." She said, breaking her restraints and making a weapon appear in her hands, ready for her last stand._

"Leo!!" She heard Raph pinning her on the ground to contain her as she yelled. She could feel his concern… Raphael's presence was a bit too chaotic and suffocating for her.

She shook her head! _So that's the end of the story? He betrayed her_?_ But then, why was he after her then? _Now she was truly confused, it made no sense_._ Something really awful happened afterwards. _So awful that I had to shut it down, otherwise it would have driven me mad_, she thought, feeling the tears slide from her eyes uncontrollably. She just looked at them with curiosity. This weren't hers, not really. _This was not me_. She tried to regain control of her breath.

"Ya… Ok! You are crying?!" _He is worried? _She thought confused being so close to Raphael usually gave her headaches._ But well he had helped her to reforge her swords once. She owed him._

_Oh dear__…_ She shook her head and recovered her ground. "Shall we continue...?"

"What ya saying? Ya are not right…What kind of deal you cut with her?! Where were you?" Raph spat shaking her.

"Deal?" Leonardo repeated confused and a bit giddy. _Yes it will be unavoidable_. She breathed deeply and cleared her eyes. "OK, just calculate the odds and the retribution to pay, for killing Karai would mean hell to us to pay. And… She is not worth it. A vendetta is not worth your life. Fear the angry Chaplain, Raphael !" she smirked. _Fear the angry Ch'rell, _she thought_._ "Sorry for getting you all in this mess, sorry for taking your rightful seat. Sorry for causing you troubles… You are right… I would have spared you all the troubles, I should not have returned, you don't need me, never have but that is not up to me to decide." She said heavily. "So I guess I loss… Ugh! I am at your mercy then." she said, bowing painfully. Maybe she should have delimited beforehand but well... Cursed visions!

Upon hearing the yell, Don stormed in the dojo, followed by Splinter, about to jump at Raphael but was held back by his father's firm grip and gave them both a distrustful glare.

"You are sick it does not count!" Raphael said bitterly, storming out before he received other reprimand realizing how much he needed to train.

"You OK, Leo? Anything you want to tell me?" Don spat at Leonardo taking her hand, feeling a bit betrayed.

"Raphael ankle is sprain." she stated. _That warmth…_ _too selfish!_ "The rest, you probably know, or think you know already, right master? So I have nothing else to say."

_the sun is in your eyes_

_the sun is in your ears_

_but you can't see the sun_

_ever in the darkness_

_it does not much matter to me_

* * *

**Author's notes**

Thanks again to Lady-Kassy for her beta

Thanks again to Death of toast, Dozer and Ninjalara54VirusesMondhexefan thanks for letting me know this story is still of your liking.

Not a mellow Christmas chapter I know. Timing got a bit off. Busy lately.

Happy.... whatever holiday you will or have celebrated. Is a wide world I know I have seen the traffic chart but the holiday span from November to January covers most of us.


	46. You are not here

All TMNT characters are copyrighted by Mirage studios and were created by Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird. You are not here, Room of Angel and Tender sugar by the great Akira Yamaoka and Konami.

* * *

_If you hadn't met me, I'd be fine on my own, baby,_

_I never felt so lonely, then you came along,_

* * *

**You are not here**

Donatello headed towards LH's lair pretty upset: he had not been able to convince Leo to accompany him as she argued that, though she was in his custody, Splinter's order forbidding her to leave was still in effect and still had a higher hierarchy than any of his. He tried to look for Splinter, to look for a loop hole or a change in the order but the master had gone out. _Too meditate probably,_ Don thought sarcastically, Raphael had simply stormed out. This was a mixed blessing for he was not in the mood to talk to his father anyway and he was very tempted to kill Raphael… He shook his head. Not until he had all the facts from LH. And from Leo… Just great! Leo trusted LH more than her father and him. He really did not want to think about what had happened in the dojo. Well he was still waiting for his father to decide to tell him the whole story. How had Leo put up with that was something that surprised him. He needed facts, odds, probabilities, information or, at least, to believe that someone, meaning Leo, had them, but apparently she had been as much in the dark as they had been, if not more.

_No wonder she pressured __me so much with the intelligence information on what they could find out_. _Bushido something probably. Leo was first and foremost a follower of that chivalry code, the perfect means of blind obedience to their master. Though…. she cheated, or rather, walked in the border of the line much lately, _he had to admit, _pushing the orders to the limit sometimes, which would make a change in her current order delicate. She seemed to be waiting for any slip from Splinter to flee. _Something that had been driving Splinter crazy.

Don laughed: it was fun to see the old rat so puzzled._ "No I'm not training, I am just cleaning the dojo." With karate kid movie style of course! "What? No I am not practicing a kata." I am just walking quite steady and slow, "A broom was never included in the weapon list if I remember correctly but my memory is faulty as you know master." _He could only smirk and all of them thought Raph and Mikey were the problem children, he half laughed_… No, they paled in comparison… _ It was good though that Leo was not into astrophysics or quantum mechanics or she would have come out with an answer out of 'Through the Looking-Glass'as for the 'not leaving the lair' order. Yet her attitude baffled him_. A _ shinobi faithful to the clan?… No, a loyal brother and leader: even in that mess, she had put them... him… before herself again, taking the full blame. "It was not his fault... He is not the monster here." Out of trouble… well sort of, though why she had not cleared the misunderstanding with Master Splinter about them being…?

Don shook his head… _Right! Keep dreaming. _He was first and foremost a concerned bro… _Who are we kidding? Certainly not Leo_. His inner voice spat. Don sighed, still facing this impossible choice but LH's tone had alarmed him and it was not something that could be talked over the phone, and he was not getting anything from Leo that was for sure. _T__hough the tea_… he dismissed the thought and he decided to leave Leo on Mikey's care for a few hours. And that was supposed to make sense? Well it beat having her on Splinter's or Raph's (he felt his blood boil) care certainly. He shivered. How bad could it be? They will probably play videogames until Splinter's return. Right? He tried to comfort himself as he speeded his walk steadily. It was not as if Mikey was going to sweep her off her feet, right? _I will end this as quickly as possible_, he thought as he ran.

* * *

"What do mean deteriorating?" The Utrom asked… concerned? He was at his desk, reviewing some papers. He had not been in such a great mood in centuries, so he was reluctant to let anything change. The creature was truly fascinating and, for some odd reasons, it made him feel at… peace? "Well, fix it! Add something more to the diet. I don't know… Vitamins or something, it is eating better, isn't it?"

The white robed doctor sighed and answered. "I… we need to examine the subject. I need blood samples. Clean blood samples in a sufficient amount, not out of blades…. A full check up. That faint spell was not normal. There are so many gaps in our knowledge of this creature, we have been using the crocodile data they obtained until now but this creature is a different species… We can't work on a patient we can't touch."

"No." The Utrom replied in his Oroku Saki exosuit. "Not now, it will ruin everything. I need more time."

"We can sedate the creature, it won't know a thing like in the night sessions."

"No!!" The Utrom emphasized, the creature was already suspicious enough. And with its senses heighten due to the bracelet, it will be worse.

"My Lord, you are paying me to be objective." The Foot doctor replied.

The Utrom snarled and looked at him sternly through the exosuit. '_You are not being objective Ch'rell! You are never objective around her, It's for the best… our... her best interest.' r_esounded in his mind.

The doctor gulped and shivered. "Then allow me to procure another subject of the species to make the comparisons."

"Than can't be done either." The Utrom said pounding his desk. "Push too much and everything crumbles, despair must be avoided." Those leverages were too precious to tamper with and Leo… the warrior knew it, the threats had reached a stale mate too early, he had been too hasty, he now recognized he had shown his hand too early. "Do anything and I won't hesitate." the creature had even dared to brag pointing at her own neck after just 3 days of captivity. He would not be able to hide it.

"Then see for yourself." the doctor said placing two photographs on the desk.

The Utrom sighed in frustration even to him it was obvious. "I'll see what I can do and for your sake let's hope it is enough!"

* * *

"Drugs?!" Don said.

LH nodded

"But... but she has been in the lair… I have been on her almost 24/7, there is no way." Don said.

"Are you sure?" LH empathized not really happy that Leonardo had not come.

"Well, you know Leo… since when? Don asked, feeling completely clueless Leo would rather talk with LH than with her family. _This just kept getting better._

"The day I saw her after her return, she came to pay her greetings and it's quite obvious. I had my doubts before, but you know, I assumed it was something you did not want to mention. As is quite common with you…. So she was out?" LH said with some sarcasm.

Don nodded. "Splinter's orders." Yes he could not be very specific, it was too weird.

"She is been here for...?"

"One Week." Don said.

"Are you sure?" LH said.

"Well I… will have to search the lair, her room, but if she is really hiding something…else…" Don sighed.

"This are not normal street variety, Donatello, she had quite an interesting cocktail of substances." LH said.

"What do you mean?" he said with dread. _You don't know where I have been_.

"It's difficult to tell. Apparently she was exposed to something 3 months ago but with the medication she was taking, counting her convalescence state I don't know."

"Medication?" Don asked.

"Hormonal supressors." LH said reluctantly.

"What?! But…?" Don was dumbfounded. Well it explained why they were not at each others throats anymore but…. _Leo what have you been doing to yourself?!_

"For the pheromones, also she believed she was having violent tendencies induced by puberty and wanted to know if there was a way to stop them, I told Leonardo they were normal but…"

Don slap himself again. _Don't you dare say it has not crossed your mind._ "But LH… how… You didn't?" About to jump at LH, considering the size difference would not have been such a great idea.

"She made her case and having heard about what happened in the jungle…I could not deny her something like that. Well, not with an impeding battle over your heads as I saw her when she arrived after the party, after all…. She had been trying for a while with meditation, herbal teas, showers, deodorant… and she was supposed to stop it if she had any side effects, but I since I did not hear from her, I assumed… you should have told me how bad she was after that! She looked a bit distraught but otherwise… fine."

"Yeah she always looks fine!… She told you what happened in the jungle?!" Donnie said heavily… Great! He was not jealous of LH too, was he? Don wanted to cry.

"Briefly… She had been looking for advice on biology for a while. She was a bit lost, to say the least… She was quite distressed of that happening again." LH said.

"And it did happen…. but it makes no sense, her season was supposed to have ended before… But well, then who knows what they used on her… I should have examined her. When did she decide…?"

"A few days after the party. She was so distressed, she said you were not handling it so well… None of you were."

"So she is…." Don said feeling guilty, feeling he had finally pushed her over the edge.

"Must be feeling terrible… Anxiety, fatigue but hallucinations as well. I don't know, there are some hallucinogens maybe... I need another sample to evaluate how she is, maybe is a false positive, I don't know. It is hard to believe for me too… I need her here to examine her and I believe she is just anemic. But if she still has traces after so long… and has not been exposed recently, her kidneys might be having some issues getting rid of that or… But it will be absurd, she would have told you right? About the epilepsy. She never mentioned something like that, but who knows, it might add up. I can't believe she was that bad and you told me nothing!" LH said looking distraught.

"She might have been re-exposed right?" Don wondered out loud, picturing how distraught she looked when she had returned. But well, who wouldn't? Raph's words resounded on his mind: _What kind of deal you cut with her?_

* * *

After Don had left, Leo rushed to the bathroom to take a shower and recover her breath. Keeping her poker face to Don and Splinter had been extremely difficult. Don's glare had hurt. She was exhausted and unsettled. Keeping appearances was becoming nearly impossible. She still felt confused, angry, and tired. She had thought that was the way to follow but now…? She sighed. _Great! The little sense this had began to make just flew out the window. _That general was a truly dangerous being. She had felt it and a power like that on the Shredder's hands… she shook her head and looked at the bracelet….was unthinkable. No wonder he want her back. This was not about her and her little family and planet anymore! But she was trapped, it was impossible to reconcile and he was right, it was not her duty to protect the universe and, well the Utroms had taken her down right?… So as long as her planet and family were safe, they would eventually… Right! She pounded the wall. Her inner chat was interrupted by a knock on the door_. I am really going insane! This is not real! This is not real! It's just him tricking me! But then why that memory when it shed such a bad light on him, why that kunoichi's memories? They did not make sense unless…?_" She shook the thought away.

"Leo, are you alright?" Mike asked, deciding she had spent too much time in the bathroom already.

She breathed deeply. She could do this. It was Michelangelo after all. Right, the Mikey with psychic abilities. The Mikey who had chosen to flee, the Mikey who was the hardest to lie to.

* * *

So now what should I do, I'm strung out, addicted to you,

My body it aches, now that you're gone,

My supply fell through,

"About our deal?" The Time mistress said.

"The deal is off! You did not keep your end of the bargain!" The raging Utrom said. His mood had deteriorated considerably since the turtle's departure. He felt restless, angry. This cursed planet! He actually missed the creature!! It was like having … How humans explained it?… an endorphine withdrawal, and he was angry, very angry. He had not been than angry since…. He repressed the thought.

"You let Leo go?" The Time mistress sighed. "But… why? I mean…"

"I am leaving, too complicated; this is absurd, the planet's fate… It can blow into oblivion for all I care." The Utrom spat.

"But certainly, such an advance mind as yours can take a delay, I mean."

"Maybe it is time to resign to fate then… she resigned to hers after all."

* * *

"Leo, Do you want to talk?" Mikey said with some hesitation.

Leo finally came out of the bathroom with her unreadable face.

"Everything is fine Mikey." she said.

Mikey sighed, meeting her neutral glare. Even to him it was obvious that nothing was right.

"Leo, let's talk."

"What about?" She asked. "I know: let's play something. I know Blaster Berserk sounds fine."

"Stop avoiding me!" Mikey said abruptly. "Pretty please." he said with his impossible puppy eyes.

Leo sighed. _Look who is_ _talking_. "Who is avoiding you?"

"So you are angry with me too, aren't you?" Mikey said sighing.

"What are you talking about Mikey?" Leo replied feigning a smile. "I am not angry and why would I be angry with you? You have not done anything, have you?"

Mikey sighed, somehow it had come out a bit sarcastic. "What? You don't think me worthy enough of your anger?"

"Michelangelo, I do not know what you are talking about." She replied without any intonation.

His full name… this really bad. "Well I am not as dumb to not know something is going on and I want to tell you that..."

"Nothing is going on, OK?" Leo said trying to cut it, she could not do this right now.

"Right!" Mikey said. "So you are not angry at sensei and that is why you barely speak to him lately. You are not angry at Don but are avoiding him like the plague, have been for a while. At Raph, even I can understand: he is a jerk and you are not angry at me, but I have seen the games you have been playing, mindless havoc is not your type Leo. I heard you spat at father the other day and that is totally not you… What is going on Dude?"

"Some issues, Mikey, nothing to worry about."_ Come on Mikey since when have you cared_…_about anyone but yourself?_ She thought annoyed. "Let's play something! Your choice then." Leo said starting to lose control of her breath.

"Nothing I would understand? Leo you are sometimes…"

"Impossible yes, I know, any complains take them to Splinter-sama." she blurted. She needed to refocus and calm down. She breathed deeply.

"I am not Raph, Leo…" he pouted and made a pause. "…Leo about… you and Don…" Mikey started hesitant.

"Nothing is going on, OK?!" Leo spat abruptly before getting a grip on herself. "Sorry…"

"Right?" OK! Leo had yelled, that was completely weird, Mikey thought a bit dishearten, having a confirmation. "I just…"

"I just what?! I am not a mind reader Mikey! If you have any complaints well…" Leo said breathing deeply controlling her tone. Mikey was hard to read, probably the hardest of them all, for he truly was in hiding, he always had been.

"I just want to tell you that I am… cool with it."

"Eh? Mikey, I… Really? I mean, there is nothing…" Leo said disconcerted.

Mikey gave her a deep glare, sighing and putting his right arm over her shoulder. "Dude! You don't have to explain anything to me, I mean… it is only me: Mikey the Mikester, the easy going one…. Look dude, I trust you … always have… I always have known your tastes were not that great but…well… if it makes you… I mean both of you happy, you have my blessing, dude. It is odd but…"

"Mikey… I… I think you are…mis..." Leo said.

"Yeah, yeah, nothing happening, I know. " he said remembering Don looking at Leo with longing eyes, and Leo listening to Don's unending speeches of which Leo had probably no idea what Don was saying. "Nothing ever happens around here. I am just imagining things and this Jurassic Park nightmare is just in my head." He shook his head. "but chill out dude! Leo, if anyone deserves to be happy, it is you… and let's be honest: if you really wanted to be out of Don's room, you would be already. It is OK. I mean, you look kind of cute together." Mikey said, looking at her eyes.

"Mikey…? I assure you…" Leo said disconcerted.

"I should have known… I mean Donnie is a great guy Leo." Mikey said somehow sad but happy for her, happy to see her unguarded for a change. "… well you should have seen the poor guy while you were out. I believe he missed you the most, we all did though. But Don… he was devastated. The lair was not the same without you, even Raph, though he is pretty good at hiding it. Leo I… whatever happens, you are my hero... you know that? You are leaving, aren't you?" he almost muttered, he had been having nightmares lately.

Leo shook her head._. _ "So 'hero' would be better 'youngling'. I once was called that, you know? A long, long time ago…"The Utrom had said somehow vaguely.

"_Certainly not by your kind. Heroes don't go on killing sprees Warrior if you please"__she had answered sternly_

"_Perspective, Don't be so harsh on yourself it was beyond your control."He had replied but not clarified._

"No… Mikey, I don't know what you are talking about. I mean where would I go…there is no where I'd rather be" She gulped _No I don't… I don't miss sleeping, not having nightmares or headaches STOP IT!_. She sighed deeply "And believe me, I am… no hero, I do not belong on a pedestal and nothing is happening." she said sadly. Yes apparently she had never been one.

"Dude! Who are you kidding?" Mikey said surprised and concerned. He hated when his hunches hit on the spot but he was too terrified to consider it. "I mean, if anyone among us fits the description, it is you. And I mean the mysterious hero… just all heroes have their ups and downs, it is normal. I mean, this is part of the whole heroic experience… I mean, come on, compared to…. Bishop…. that was so weird. I did not say that, dude, I never saw that coming and…." He stopped to refocus his speech. Yes not the cheer up argument. "I mean Silver Sentry basically… beg you and he is a good judge of character he is… "

**Don't lie!** Leo shook her head, not fully getting Mikey's words and sighed. She was getting groggy**.**_** Singularity, One equal darkness? **_No, no kidding "Mikey, Mikey I…" She sighed, she just wanted to lay down on her bed, _Not that one of course _she would not go there. Right, her room…. It was off limits… but Don's spare bed could work for a while as it had until now, it was not that bad really, she sometimes could even sleep when Don seated by her side holding her hand thinking she was soundly asleep. She just had not thought that! She reprimanded herself, feeling a pinch on her wrist.

"Yes I know… Why would you talk to me? … I am not Don after all, I can't make important scientific things to save the day, and I am not the strong back up fighter like Raph but still… You know you can count on me too right? you know I am not completely useless? I could at least…I don't know bake you pizzas or…It is difficult Leo when you are away so long. When you are so perfect you seem almost unreachable…is as though you don't…. _need us. _We all have missed you very much."

"I am not perfect Mike far from it"_ you just have no idea how unperfect I am_ "and you are not useless… far from it and I am right here." _Always been_ Leo said finally, a bit disconcerted and tired, being able to see Mikey without his jester act for the fist time in what it seemed in a long, long time feeling his insecurities, his childish fears. It seemed they both had been too busy in their small little worlds after all. She had been away too. "I mean, you are the Battle Nexus current champion after all, you are our father's pride remember who he requested to show off his ki molding abilities. And you are a reliable fighter, just unorthodox. But flexibility is part of the warrior's path too and the Turtle Titan is a source of inspiration, isn't he? I mean, you are heart of this family." Everything would be all right, had said Cody, hadn't he? She breathed deeply. Yeah right! She still had that card… actually thinking it better, she had a lot of cards.

Mikey's eyes softened: Leo had not called Splinter 'father' since her return, something that had bother him quite a bit. "No Leo, that is you! And come on, that was thanks to… come on dude, if you had not been there for me, I mean that gorilla under steroids guy would have probably used my shell to make cute combs and necklaces, right? We all need you still… I need you."

"You truly underestimate yourself, Mike. You didn't need me not now not then." Leo said chuckling. _I have been babying them too much maybe._ "You earned that title by yourself I just…" she smiled fondly as she had not in a long time, she felt as if she was dozing.

"You believed in me Leo… as I believe in you." Mike said, smiling, the problem of being a jester was that nobody ever took you seriously. He sighed. He loved making Leo smile, he would love to see Leo smile more often. There was a time, long ago, Leo smiled for them quite a bit, it was nice: Leo's carefree smile. In Mike's point of view, Leo had the ability to cast the shadows and monsters away. Though nowadays, the best he could get was usually a soft grin but even that managed to make him feel happy.

"I love you bro, never forget that!" he said embracing Leo.

"I love you too Mike… I missed you too." Leo said, lowering the tone of the last part to a whisper without any ulterior motives, sounding a bit childish. She was tired, so tired… She wanted too sleep and she just collapsed in Mikey's arms, making both of them stumble.

"Leo?" The startled Mike said being trapped under Leo, unable to move her. Mikey froze, just meeting the storming Don's glare through the Lair entrance, it was a pained glance and he then turned around without a word." Dude this is not what it…Help!"

* * *

_Are you hiding away, lost, under the sewers,  
Maybe flying high, in the clouds?  
Perhaps you're happy without me..._

"Agreed. Then it better work." The Utrom said to the time Mistress. The turtle's awed face at the armory had been priceless, it had been as thought it had… Had he somehow become fond of the creature? It was absurd!

_

* * *

In or out, up or down, never know__, it's an illusion_

_Round and round, on and on, every day spins my confusion_

_Not again, not again, not again, this dream I can't awake  
What is real, what is real, what is real, it__'s getting hard for me to take. _

She saw a now familiar image before herself usually the first she saw for the latter part of those 5 weeks but it looked a bit stiff and… kind of grey? _But I was just with…?_ _The kunoichi again…_she saw her hands_ the general?!_ Leo thought._ No but they are both…when will this end?! _She thought alarmed. _A statue, where am I? Who am I? I have been here before… this hall? Battle Nexus?!_ But she… Both of them?

She heard herself read out loud, making the plate change its writing to a language she could understand. "Otshkorku Shtakshky… Odd name! Can't pronounce." she laughed. "So that is how you looked that time. I thought you were taller! Here and not odd? Maybe I was smaller? Hmm. I am not really so insane after all… Guess they are right, I mean… I dunno…we are kind of dangerous together… fitting I give up, you would not recognize me anyway… even if I tried, it would be even worse, but you are so lost lately and will be even more that promise will be put on hold. Sorry, you decided and well, we are enemies I warned you… so sadly, there is nothing I can do for you… we were both played again."

She heard a voice behind her. "Are you sure you won't take it, I mean it is the trophy. And not even your name would be recorded."

"I have no name, remember?…tools don't have names… Memory crystal!!" she said looking at it, interested and then hesitated. "Well I have no use for them, not anymore. Maybe I can do something after all." She said placing the trophy crystal on her own statue hands as well as her bracelet. "Let's hope it's enough… Right, warrior?" she said looking at herself reflected on the bracelet.

"You are odd! You are making nonsense again." The voice behind her said again.

"I am a dragon, I am not supposed too!" She said laughing.

_What is real, what is real, what is real, it's getting hard for me to take  
What I need, what I need, what I need, a little somethin' I rely._

_

* * *

_

**Author's Notes**

Once Again Thanks to Lady-Kassy for still keeping up with this story.

Thanks to Death of toast, Ninjalara54virusesmefan, Dozer thanks a lot for your ideas (Mikey appears finally) and no the bracelet fell in one of the general's flashbacks flashbacks before she even met Ch'rell (The timeline is bit hectic I know) and thanks for your continuing reviews. So the chapter is out let me know what you think of it. Suggestions complains (not on the lenght of course we are getting there somehow) If I should add more tags to the sypnosis or warnings I am open to opinions here.

Been a while Happy New Year to all well half the world more less.

Gotta admit Silent Hill music rocks too. I love this songs they are so interesting and the music is so intense.


	47. Omens

All TMNT characters are copyrighted by Mirage studios and were created by Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird. You are not here by the great Akira Yamaoka and Konami.

_

* * *

Blue sky to forever,_

_The green grass blows in the wind, dancing_

_It would be much better a sight with you, with me,_

* * *

"_No, Leo, go on. I am not here to judge you" Don intervened, thinking __**'**__**I am an idiot**__**.'**__ "Don't worry, my lips are as silent as a grave, geek honor." he said putting a reassuring hand on her shoulder wondering why she suddenly seemed so fragile._

* * *

**OMENS**

Donatello ran as far as he could from the lair before he stopped finally panting reminding him of his not so top notch physical condition. He knew he was being an egotistical, selfish, unreasonable, irresponsible and possessive bastard because they were not anything… She had never given him any indications to think otherwise, not really. And lately, it seemed as though she was just enduring his presence. He had no reason to think otherwise aside from his own feelings. Of course he did care about her more than he ever thought it was possible. He loved her, he really did and it sucked! And…of course he knew Leo had all the right and was free to choose whomever she wanted and that he was not precisely the most eligible bachelor in the lair from Leo's point of view, probably particularly after he had sort of breached Leo's trust...but...but Mikey?!

He hit the wall. He knew this was his hormone driven selfish teenager side complaining because Mikey was also an eligible healthy male who was a better fighter than him, and was a nice guy who could actually act responsible sometimes and had not told her she was not her type, who had not gone through a monster secondary mutation that probably would ruin whatever little chances he may have had but… He grunted. He knew it but that did not make it fine for him because he also knew he was entitled to have one! He was 18 wasn't he? He might have a IQ of 300 but he was still a teen foolishly in love! He punched the wall again.

"I am only 18, come on… If I did not know better I'd think you are jealous." She had made some comment but he had not done anything to secure her heart after all. Actually, he probably had scared her away when he finally did and had actually received the seat Leo had strove so hard too obtain and keep so easily and unfairly and in spite of everything, he just had hoped Leo would choose him? It was something completely unreasonable because she was a teenager too who made mistakes, meaning Mikey, and had an immense pressure over her shoulders. A teenager who had given everything to protect them and had received so little in return. He closed his eyes and wiped the pesky tears. He so wanted to hear those words from Leo but directed to him and he so wanted to hold her to make everything fine for her, to be the one she would lean to for comfort… To see her smile, not sneer. Once again, just be by her side, but he had just probably made everything worse for her since the beginning. But I am a teen, how can… I?

She is a teenager too? Don thought suddenly, dismissing the jealous thoughts for a minute. It had been really easy to make Leo responsible for everything, too expect her too act mature, to look to her whenever something had to be decided, to live on her care, to let her be the one responsible for their well being on battle, the one who got reprimanded, the one who had to train harder, the one who made the hard decisions… And now, he was complaining… And if his suspicions were right, he should have complained before, when she trained until she dropped as children, when she took the full blow of the reprimands, when she got blamed for things they did, for which she usually had no control: whenever Raph blasted at her, whenever Mike teased her, whenever she was sent away while they kept doing whatever they wanted because they were busy being themselves and she was busy trying to be the best she could for them.

He breathed again. The eldest role… A role he had read about, she had been made believe she had, the fearless hero and leader role she had been ingrained to follow, their protector despite her own well being as he had seen over and over again. Splinter had nurtured the notion that Leo was the eldest, the responsible one since childhood, but in reality, there was nothing to support that knowledge. He had had the fortune to see the accident that gave them their mutant characteristics and those four delicate baby turtles looked about the same age after all, which was reasonable for animals of different ages were not usually mixed, as there was only one season a year. Maybe she was the youngest; there was no way to know really.

He breathed deeply starting to let his analytical mind regain control. In reality, he did not know what he had seen and had jumped into conclusions very hastily because Mikey had always hug them all, claimed his love for them. But then, Mikey had kissed her in front of them quite defiantly and actually had confessed he was attracted to her, not knowing about her gender to him. _'Was he asking him for permission that time?'_ he wondered. Because he had…? He slapped himself. What if there was more to Mikey and Leo? They had spent a lot of time together lately and he had to allow it: he was the only one she would not spat too and who could actually make her eat. He so not wanted to know the answer to that question but whatever the answer was, it would be Leo's decision and he, being the new responsible one, would have to abide by it, just as Leo had before him, putting the well being of his brothers before herself.

"Being the leader sucks!" He screamed and hit the wall again.

_How d__oes Leo see us… me?_ He wondered. If his suspicions were right, the picture was not so flattering. Of course he saw himself as the most eligible bachelor, but then, he had had more crushes than anyone: April, Angel, Dhjanna, even Renet and Starlee! And Leo knew it. Yet she had never censored him for it, as absurd as they must have been for her. Though, it must have been odd as his chances were below zero, he had to recognize. April thought of him like a little sibling "sister", his ego had not recovered yet. Angel got along better with Raph and Mikey. Actually hadn't she helped Mikey with the Cowabunga Carl gig…? _If he dares to double play with Leo, I kill him! _He thought suddenly and sighed. Dhjanna… Well, she was well, but had just left without saying goodbye and left behind her hair…? And he had taken it as a demonstration of affection, maybe it was her species way to say goodbye and thanks, who knew? He had not heard from her since and she was probably busy in her role as the new leader of her people and she would probably find a more appropriate and suitable mate among one of her kind.

A mate? Offspring? This was beyond a crush… He knew the drill; the propagation of the species was the first directive for all living beings, after all. Makes sure your genes are passed to the next generation, it was a universe wide valid statement, at least for creatures like them, since the turtle were not hairless moles or bees. It had never been a real issue before because without a female, it was just a thing one would rather not think about, he knew it. How similar were they to normal turtles. _How different, really?_ He wondered.

"March hares…" He laughed. Yes, it must have been unsettling for Leo after her return, being probably still shocked and probably feeling guilty about what had happened during her time out, their erratic and bizarre courtship behavior. Raph, always bickering, trying to prove himself as the alpha male, Mikey playing, and him trying to prove he was the better turtle, the one above instincts, losing himself in his world. What a fool he was, but still, there was more_._

_You don't have to bring it up every time to make __me realize how stupid I was… It freaked me out that time! I don't want any of you near, you hear me? And I really need a cold shower! _

"No Leo you weren't I was. I should have noticed earlier, I am the one you trusted on health issues. How could I overlook something like this? You should not have had to go alone through that, you should not have been left to fend on your own." The truth behind the fearless façade… _'I don't need your help, and I don't need your pity either… you can't fix me.' _Of course, why would you turn to me? I was never interested enough before. It was so… obvious… Yet, he had been blind to it, he had been fooled by the mirage of the invulnerable leader, one who could take anything and come up unscented. _I mean, unscathed._ It was so easy. Yes, no wonder she found LH more reliable: he would not judge her as she had not judged him. But them… him? _I am not here to judge you? Yeah right!_ _I am not the one with a thing for Utroms_. He sighed. He had been a tactless bastard. And hit the wall again.

The only time she had shown interest in anyone, she had been severely censored for a long while. He now recognized Raph still liked to mock at how she was almost drawn to the dark side on a yearly basis at least. Even Mike: "Join me Leonardo, I am your father." It had made them laugh back then, but for her, he though picturing the meditative glare Leo had whenever they brought the subject it should have been a reminder of how she had failed enough to make her try a rash decision on the spaceship. An enemy she could not beat, no matter how much she tried and trained. Bad luck, no doubt but… Attracts misfortune accidents of the oddest kind. Well… really, Shredder, Karai….? The Damyo's son? Don gasped. Warriors, skilled, powerful warriors, just like Usagi … Just more evil and freaky '_have been forced to read about and admire all the legends of ancient warrior. They treated her as an equal warrior_.'

He had been too arrogant to believe he had any idea of what it was to be Leo. To him, the ninjutsu was a side job really, science was his job, his passion. To Leo, Ninjutsu was her life; bushido was her code of conduct. She had been rubbing it on Splinter's face too much lately. Leo trying to take the four Elite by herself, probably had tried to take the whole Foot army. Coldly analyzed, it made more sense than any of his hopeless crushes, his façade as a ninja master… To Leo, it would have been as meeting a Nobel prize. Come on! He admired Stockman before he met him after all, and… He gulped. That creature had actually shown interest: I was tagged! Of course it made sense actually. The Utrom had shown more interest in Leo than anyone actually. He doubted the Shredder had even cared to remember: he treated them as vermin, their names unimportant but Leo's. Both Karai and that thing… He had not thought much about it before, but even in battle: _"Ah Leonardo, it was unfortunate that you did not join me when I offered you the chance. You could have served me well."_ But it did not help that he tried many times to lure me to his side. YIN FATE?! Don shivered. His father had unadvertedly made Leo extremely attractive as a warrior, not only in this dimension. They had sent a bounty hunter after Leo after the short travel on Usagi's dimension.

What was that thing the floating guy had said? "Winner: Leonardo?" But had… Leonardo been selected to be in the Battle Nexus? Was that a preliminary battle? Why was Leonardo not called then? Did the Tribunal not authorize it? She had won; was that the reason the damyo's son was so upset he had been disqualified? He wondered; her father had told her she had made them proud and she had momentary beamed in that unusually open flatter by his father which had disappeared when Raph asked, and his father had, as usual, remained silent. _When the time is right, all will be made clear. _Yeah right! Until they basically stumbled in that dimension, following him and had to tell them because they had sort of been included by accident and he could not hide it anymore. He had been really bothered by that, but well, it was not new, really: they usually pestered Leo thinking she knew but…

_Get used to it Don!_ He had not told them a thing, just as he had not spoken when they delivered the Foot emblem. Would have the bushido obedient Leo met the Utrom Shredder, had she been told the truth from the beginning? No! Leo would never have agreed to meet him, no matter what… At least not alone. Come on! How really different had it been from Mikey's relation with the Silver Sentry and the justice league thing? Raph meeting Casey while vigilanting, April, Angel… Just bad luck! Leo's bad luck. Omens? They are usually self-fulfilling.

Renet had laughed a lot about those once they had talked about Mikey's talents which defied Don's scientific knowledge_. Creatures have a brief glimpse of something they don't understand, can't even relate and try to come up with the most absurd explanation. Omens are really evil and dangerous things Don._ _Had Paris been raised a prince and not sent away from Troy, so he would not destroy it as the omen foretold, would he have been as selfish as to kidnap Helen of Sparta? _She had questioned. Maybe the diary story was a way to prepare Leonardo for the thing to come, not to believe in omens, not to be awed by the Tribunal so much but_..._ Did his father really knew how things had been for Leo? ..._ Promises, gifts, death threats, you name it, delivered by the Foot soldiers whenever they could._ He had to use a truth serum after all_. The last time was when I was tagged and given the beating of my life, he offered me to be his right hand. I refused, of course. I was honor-bound to do so. 'If you are not with me, you will not be against me.'_ Tagged, lured, stalked…blamed …Re-exposed?! Someone had taken a lot of trouble to keep Leo separated from them that day, a very carefully calculated plan too keep them busy and separated but why…? He shivered. That creature was trapped in a frozen asteroid, far, far away right? The Tengu had been beaten right? The Utroms would not lie to them right? But they had lied before, hadn't they? Mortu had denied knowledge of Splinter's whereabouts when asked directly, Karai had claimed the name too? The omen was too vague, he had not idea, and he needed all the facts.

But Leonardo would tell them… right?

"The Shredder is back!" she had said before Splinter reseted her mind, resounding on his head as he ran back. Why had it been so hard for them to believe? But still, it could be Karai, right? It would not be the first time after all. _Do you even know who or what I am angry about?_ What if she looked that bad because… He repressed the thought, it was too disturbing.

Focus! Leo needs you! Truth will set you free! Yes, it was time to start acting as the leader and gather all the pieces. It was his time to face his father and get the full story. He had a duty: he would protect Leo this time no matter what or who got in his way. And if she still did not think him worthy enough… Well, at least he would not have regrets.

* * *

**Author's notes**

Once again thanks to Lady-Kassy for her beta.

Thanks to dozer, Ninjalara54virusesmondhexefan and death of toast you reviews and ideas encourage me continue as for the rest thanks for reading. Feel to review so I know I not messing things up with the song fic like inclusions I am making and Yeah Donnie is finally starting to piece things together.

Hi Again been a while. I have not forsaken the story but I have been busy in 1.0 travels went to Vegas had fun went indoor Skydiving that rocks since I am not parachuting anytime soon you actually feel like flying. I don't like gambling or lotteries I believe in statistics only the house wins but the sight seeing is great it is an interesting city I mean were else will you have almost 200 pages of lawyers ads in the yellow pages. That is sort of ironic because I actually can imagine the Foot owning a casino among it's ventures. Ok nevermind.

Omens are odd things one of the examples is the Iliad there were many in that one and they are usually self fulfilling like the one Montezuma had morale is very important and if you are convinced an omen says you win or lose it might actually influence the outcome. Some people claim Nostradamus was predicting things like rockets and cars but could not actually describe them for they were too foreign to him who knows.

There was a chapter called the ultimate ninja before the Battle nexus characters are introduced were a guy who later in the big Brawl is revealed to be the damyo's son started attacking Leo not Raph not Splinter, not Mikey not Don actually they were pretty much used as hostages as the Oroku Saki replacement later is shown he is the damyo's son who is a really sore loser who poisons Leo in the middle of a combat with Usagi in the big Brawl I kept wondering about that chapter and Splinter and his secrets because retrospectively seeing it it can not be interpreted as anything but a preliminary match they even had a referee and Splinter was so collected because he knew it was not really a life death combat maybe that is how Traximus and Usagi qualified but then it sort of makes no sense for Leo was left basically clueless and he accepted it probably out of duty but was surprised when the portal actually open had Splinter used his friendship with the damyo to make Leonardo be disqualified? It could have been because of Drako's grudge to protect them but still seems unfair. And to Leo would have been a major distrust issue. I know I didn't actually killed the Shredder because he is more difficult to erradicate than a plague who doesn't die by cutting his head off and he is not even human but Hey dad you are an interdimensional champion you could have at least lets us...me know why I was almost killed in that battle or why was I fighting you know I could have cheer you up be more proud of you and then Splinter complains about Leo becoming rebellious. Enough of my ramble Let me know what you think and Happy Chinese OX New year to those who celebrated recently.


	48. Duality

All TMNT characters are copyrighted by Mirage studios and were created by Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird. Tender sugar by the great Akira Yamaoka and Konami.

* * *

_I run, I fall. What ripped away? _

_C__heck my body now_

_Was it body or soul?_

* * *

"_You said you made grave a mistake when we met?" she asked_

"_I never imagined I was dealing with a ch… someone so young, I apologize for that."_

* * *

**Duality**

"No!!" Leo screamed again and shook violently and then went still again to the despaired ice blue glare, fearing this was what his dreams of a disappearing Leo had meant. He had finally managed to move Leo to a comfortable position on the couch but he was completely clueless: this was not his job, this was usually Leo's job to make the decisions… Well, Leo was unconscious right now so was not of much help. He could not keep his ground unless someone backed him up. It was who he was unless... he took his handkerchief mask He had his outfit on, Good idea think, Turtle Titan. He does not need to lean on Leo, he is a superhero: he can protect the world.... at least Leo; he tried to reassure himself quickly, changing into one of his Turtle Titan masks which he always carried with him as any sensible superhero would. Since Don had decided to become an unreasonable and apparently jealous bastard and had just left without waiting for an explanation or Master Splinter, who was not here right now and had been kind of distant lately regarding Leo, or Raph who was nowhere to be found, and none of them were answering his calls. This was the best he could do since he felt clueless and despaired as he heard their shellcells sounding in the lair. All of them had forgotten to take them. He knew some basic first aid but this was beyond basic.

"Calm down Mikey… I mean Titan, you can do this!" He said out loud, breathing deeply. _'Think like… Yeah! Leo! He always has good ideas and keeps his head cool… well most of the times…'_ He had not been so thrilled about the whole spaceship blowing up thing with them inside but well, he wanted to be hero right? And that was a hero's decision after all, maybe Leo's decisions had driven him to the current situation so… Let's not think like Leo, or rather, let's think as though you were Leo.

_Leo would request backup right?…W__ell_, u_sually he didn't when he was alone, unless it was absolutely necessary and even then…Maybe some ninja thing, I guess…_ Definitely batman type. That means Don would be Alfred who patches up the hero or more like the guy who makes the bat gadgets Fox. Don A. Fox or Don L. Pennyworth something like that. Mikey laughed. Raph, the Annoying Night Wing or the grouchy inspector and him... Damn! Batgirl? No one of the Robins which usually needed saving themselves. Mikey sighed. '_But whenever he is with us he request backup, like when the freaky demon Shredder time, so let's think as an accompanied Leo like in the battle against the demon Shredder.'_ He shivered. He truly had admired his brother that moment, how he had stood in a middle of the old lair and had basically coerced Bishop and therefore the EPA, the Foot and even the purple dragons. Well…? Sort of into helping them. The Justice League too. Silver Sentry still was a bit bitter about how little the League had done and how it had been given the credit. _"Your brother is someone really special turtle Titan if he ever wants to join, let him know there will be a place for him."_ Of course he, being the immature brat he was, had been a bit down by that he had to apply after all, and was not really a regular member, more like backup, but had been even more surprised when he told Leo, thinking it would be cool if he joined too. _"Heroes?!"_ Leo had said. _"Come on Mikey, this all thing was our… my fault."_ Leo really had some issues, definitely Batman type. Well, not as upscale and his Bruce Wayne façade had failed a bit lately but well… That was probably why Master Splinter had sent him away two years ago, even the pilgrimages? Damn Leo does need some psych, one on one. Little by little, he was becoming more sarcastic and cynical, just like the time after the Spaceship thing. The time in the future had made it less apparent and had even lightened Leo's mood, but not completely after they finally captured their dark clones. He could still picture the glare Leo had given his own clone: it was as though he felt not only sorry for them but… a bit responsible. The League had done it for some new members…? Yeah right, as if Leo would talk to a complete stranger.

"Dude" he said out loud caressing Leo's cheek, "it was not your fault." Leo's mind was really complicated. "So what were we doing…? Ok Let's not act like Leo on Leo's behalf but on someone else's behalf…. Well, April? Yes! She has good ideas. She had brought Leo back hadn´t she?" he said, dialing April's frequency.

* * *

_The darkness fades, fades to light_

_Disappearing now, disappears from the night_

* * *

A high pitched voice sang in the darkness. _"Who can the curse break? The kappa brethren of 3 will?" _the voiced laughed.

Leo looked around, trying to find the source of the voice who kept uttering the omen, trying to stop it and suddenly found herself before a mirror where a younger image of herself was reflected, playing with what appeared to be small spheres of light and who gave her an odd smile.

"About time… Came to play finally!" the younger version of her said cheerfully jumping out of the crystal and approaching Leo.

Leo backed a bit, warily. There was something about this girl. "Where am I? Who are you? Why am I here?" she asked with apprehension.

"You are here!" The little girl turtle said with a smirk, pointing at Leo's head, her expression showing disappointment. "What an impolite way to introduce yourself. Warrior, I know it has been a while since we parted ways but… I hoped you would… Of course you never looked back, after all, on unnecessary things… What is you seek, warrior?" The turtle girl said suddenly uninterested and turning back to her spheres.

"Who are you? Do you need help?" Leo questioned warily.

The turtlegirl frowned. "Help? How can you help me if you can't help yourself ? That who rushes does not get far. Why are you here… You should answer that question... Who am I…? I am just me."

Leo sighed. "You are not real… This is a dream. Dreams are illusions created by the mind, deceiving things." She spoke, trying to wake herself up.

"But the world is an illusion, isn't it…? Where you are taught by the sage and the fool. Who is deceiving whom?" The turtle girl said, sighing and giving her a critical look, then burst into laughter. "And you really plan to fight like this?! The person on tiptoe is not steady. The person with legs astride cannot walk… Knowing others is to be clever... Knowing yourself is to be enlightened and you are… neither."

'_Great__!'_ thought Leo. Now she had a Tao Te Ching admonisher brat to fit along her slayer facet alter ego too. The place was getting crowded. She was really insane. "A perfect match, no doubt" She sighed.

The turtle girl giggled without turning and continued: "You think you are a weapon warrior but aren't Weapons: ill-omened things." The girl turtle mocked. "Ancient fat one wrong, final lesson NOT learnt!… Did you even listen to him? You have eyes but you don't see, you have ears but you don't hear… There is no disaster greater than attacking and finding no enemy, right?"

Leo shivered. "No! That is not true! He is an..."

The turtle girl continued ignoring her. "For the soft and gentle will overcome the hard and powerful. I am kind to those who are kind. I am also kind to those who are not kind. But how about yourself?"

Leo sighed again, annoyed, feeling cornered. "I am a shinobi, I am warrior. I have duties." Leonardo spat. "A child like you would not understand."

"Yet, the True Person remains childlike. Courage, compassion, selflessness, community… How can you help others if you cannot even help yourself child?"

"So, you are telling me that I should not fight?! I am open to suggestions!" Leo asked.

The girl turtle resumed. "Then he is right but still, weapons are not proper instruments for gentle people; but well, they use them only when they have no other choice, they used them after all. Word and words do mean anything to you?" The girl asked, detached.

"You are making no sense" Leo stated.

The girl turtle smirked. "And you are?! The truly wise make little of their own wisdom for the more they know, the more they realize how little they know. Everything is in its own time and place. The army that has killed people should be received with sorrow. And as such, I greet you warrior! True answers cannot be taught after all."

She recovered her childish tone and adopted a menacing glare. "I won't let you hurt MY family anymore."

"I am protecting them!" Leo replied.

"Are you?" the girl mocked. "Like the time you brought the Foot to their doorstep and they were cornered in a blowing building, or the time you decided that blowing up a spaceship was an excellent idea or why not when you were sent away and Karai took it on them? How is that protecting if you are becoming a threat? I am tired of fixing your blunders. You are not acting in accordance to Sun Tsu, or Lao Tse, or as a warrior, but your own immature self."

"Fixing?" Leo repeated.

"What? You think you have been getting out of sheer luck? None is that lucky!" The turtle girl said cockily.

"It's my burden… not theirs, after all." she replied.

"Then if you have all the answers, why are you here still? Why don't you take your star crossed luck to someone else? Self-absorption and self-importance are vain and self-destructive." The girl said sarcastically. "Why don't you take it to someone you were unable to kill? For example someone whose company we actually began to enjoy? His deal is fair isn't it?"

"That would be treason and that is false! I never… My duty is to the clan. You are trying to trick me. My path is that of justice." Leo spat.

"If you say so… Without wisdom and compassion, what is justice but tyranny and retribution. Beware of not becoming what you fight warrior..."

"I don't have the time!" Leo said, trying to break whatever sort of trance she was in.

"Time you have is the will that falters. Is fearless afraid of what SHE might find? Of embracing and of facing what WE are, what We feel? If that is the case, nothing can be taught to you. You try too much and you hurt my family again, remember? Be the good tool you have always been and obey your masters, if you can of course. And stop battling yourself, for until you learn that, I think I will make the decisions." she said, disappearing with a giggle.

"Wait!!" Leo yelled, finding herself alone in the darkness.

* * *

_And all these nightmares I once had as a child_

_The morning always came, it came too late_

_What did my mind forget, forget to hide_

_Could the nightmare be awake, I don't know_

* * *

"Multiple personality disorder?" The Utrom said, surprised.

The Foot psychiatrist nodded. "We analyzed the case before a board without the subject particularities, of course, and that is the diagnosis we came up with. Of course the empathy and the subject particular characteristics are not taken in account, there is nothing on seals on serious medical literature after all but... it's the best we could come up with. It matches some of the displays we have seen, it just was not so overtly expressed before. I guess the current psychological stress is influencing it."

"You realize we are talking about a creature whose wits have surpassed Karai and even mine, and you are telling it has a psychiatric illness?" The Utrom asked seriously.

"It is not that contradictory." The Doctor continued. "It's quite common in leader's personality's traits, like paranoia, megalomania, the charisma and self assurance they can portray can be astounding. We find many examples in literature of various disorders. Analyzed retrospectively, many diagnoses can be made from lead poisoning, schizophrenia, syphilis, hereditary dementias like in the Claudia roman house. I guess it depends of the time frame and luck, though Joan of Arch, for example, showed clear manifestation of auditory hallucination and still managed to summon an army, convincing the French dauphin that she was a chosen one. She was even named saint. Stalin was frankly paranoid and still held power for many years, even some current leaders display them typically dictators. Psychological fitness does not seem to be an absolute requirement to achieve a position of power after all."

"You are making me think I should look in the psychiatric wards for recruits? If I did not know better I would think you are describing me doctor" The Utrom said, sarcastically glaring at him.

"I would never presume so much my Lord." The doctor replied, gulping and quickly resumed, lowering his eyes. "It has been theorized and probably has been tried but usually, if they require to be institutionalized, it means they are too unpredictable and unstable which is not the case here."

"So returning to the subject" The Utrom emphasized.

"Well… Neglected childhood, early age malnourishment, isolation in such a confined and restrictive and deprived social circle, a stern, if not distant paternal influence, self imposed unreachable expectations, conflicting desires, constant threats and peril. No one can really handle that much stress without losing it, not even counting the empathy traits you talked about, they would make the pressure unbearable. So my theory is that the subject created this warrior alter ego to cope with the external world as he went into seclusion. An alter ego that could basically take everything "Perfect," becoming anesthetic or unfeeling as the subject described it. This caused a personality dissociation."

"I don't follow you, doctor." The Utrom interrupted.

"Basically, the personality was mildly fractured in a traumatic experience at an early age into two: the fearless warrior, who is the dedicated obedient shinobi, so to speak, who tries to live to its environment expectations, and the child who was the original personality and basically remained a child."

"So what is the problem then? It does not sound new. Why is it important? Why is it a problem?" The Utrom asked.

"Apparently they coexisted more than less adequately. The child was allowed to basically remain a child in its cocoon and made the warrior dealt with everything it did not like or want. Until some years ago it must have worked in a delicate sort of balance but something broke the balance and the personalities were split. The child being a child became too demanding, becoming more and more inflexible, making the warrior too obsessive in his quest for perfection as the reports I have read show, which manifested in brief violent if not psychotic episodes after his return, probably induced by frustration and a foreboding sense of failure. It somehow recovered its balance and returned even in forgiving mood. Whatever was done seems to have worked more than less until recently for it did not get to the bottom of the problem, which has been an adverse and extremely demanding environment, chronic isolation and a complete distrust of its peers.

"The Chuchaviva no queme incident."

"Something must have made the warrior to lose its position of control and power in the child's eyes, forcing it in the open, gaining more strength in that time alone, as it had plenty of time to itself and began to enjoy the freedom it now had in that relatively socially simple life of the jungle until…"

"He faced a life death situation." The Utrom finished.

"Stress, it seems, the child does not like to cope with it and it went completely into seclusion, forcing the warrior out of slumber violently. Emerging as a slayer probably."

"So, I wait until it recovers the balance right and I deal with the warrior." The Utrom concluded.

"Still, there are so many blanks in our file that need to be filled, so many questions I am just making conjectures. But would I be able to interrogate it…."

"Trust! This is getting annoying!" The Utrom laughed remembering how the creature had stated numerous times _"I'd rather die with honor_" and had actually been ready to go through it more than once_.' _They were not there yet.

"The issue, my Lord, considering you objectives is…" the doctor started, wondering if he should have taken dark arts instead of neurophysiology. "The child is also a real personality: one whose permission and trust you need also; but children can, as you know, be really…"

"Unpredictable" The Utrom sighed.

"And in this case, considering the skills this creature has, even dangerous, it will be quite a challenge. If you ask me, I would choose someone else."

"Which I am not. A true challenge… What a surprise! But a child is child after all… Malleable! This might actually work on my advantage after all." The Utrom said to the doctors disconcert.

"Are you trying to analyze me too, doctor? Don't waste your time!" He commanded and then continued "Better and more evolved minds have tried… they are still putting back their pieces" he finished menacing. "Tell Karai she is overestimating her ability to understand me, I have never been better. Tell her not to meddle in things she doesn't understand again or she might get burn." he said, snapping his robotic fingers and making a small dark flame appear and then, he muttered: "Maybe I have gone soft after all."

* * *

When Donatello arrived he found himself with a bizarre panorama. A puzzled Michelangelo was trying to stop a bouncy Leo who was jumping from couch to couch and upon seeing Don gave him a wide smile and jumped near him trapping him in a hug and suddenly gave the startled Don a full kiss in the mouth and then said in a seductive yet playful tone "I think you are cute!"

* * *

**Author´s notes**

Once again my infinite thanks to Lady-Kassy for her beta of this story.

Is been a while. What can I say I am currently dealing with a jetlag accumulated fatigue and a crashed computer.

Thanks those of you who reviewed. Yes reading or writing with background music does make interesting reactions. I know there are more people reading what surprised me is the difference between chapter one hits and chapter 2 guess the idea presented does scare a lot of readers on how bad it could get.

Yes as the Foot psychiatrist suggested unfortunately is not that uncommon really bizarre and deranged personalities get to power more commonly than common sense will suggest, because they can be charming and pretty convincing the worst part is that afterward the people they governed or their descendants are usually left thinking what were we they thinking? The Claudia Roman house well Nero the one who put Rome on fire and Caligula yes the one who appointed his horse member of the council or senator are some of its most notorious members but maybe we can blame the lead the worst part is the entourage members must have noticed they were not that fit to rule and still did not stop them.

My arguments well the split personality of Leonardo has been something that has been around the fanfics for a while for it has a canon base. In the original series the relaxed Leonardo was more hyper than Mikey, In 2003 series Leo is shown out of control or more like out of character at least 4 times this dark Leo persona. The first after he met the Shredder he basically pushed Raphael making him fall for the sword, the time he decided to hang with Casey, when he fought the rat king and finally when he snapped at Splinter the worst part is that when he sort of regains his grip he is shown to be sort of startled and ashamed of his behavior. In one of the episodes in BTSS the very young Leo is shown to be possesive and selfish regarding a toy even pushing Donnatelo for it as any normal kid acts really. About the Shredder I read some of the comics still find them hard to read and I was deeply surprised how pessimistic gloomy and guilt ridden Leo is shown to be I thought it was more of a fandom thing also it confirms my theory it was not a Foot vs the Hamato clan fight really it came down to a Saki vs Leo feud at least in the human ressurected Saki´s point of view. Let me know what you think. Thanks for reading and reviewing.


	49. Displacement

All TMNT characters are copyrighted by Mirage studios and were created by Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird. You are not here, Room of angel, In the rain by the great Akira Yamaoka and Konami. As the World Falls Down by David Bowie and Capitol

* * *

_You gladly gave me everything you had and more,_

_You craved my happiness,_

* * *

**DISPLACEMENT**

Donatello was shocked, looking at Leo's eyes, which had an eerie look to them and still had him trapped with her arms around his neck and she was giving him a curious glare. Although it seemed like an answer to his prayers, he subconsciously knew and he hated it! Something was terribly wrong: Leo's pupils were dilated, her skin was ice cold and her breathing usually calm and collected did not seem right.

Leo was looking at him as if waiting for something and suddenly lost interest and released him, then murmured "Mistaken? Oh well…" She took a step backward, turned and then burst into laughter. "You should have seen your face!" She said, walking away while humming the tune of a song, and turned her attention to the couch and tried to jump but stopped abruptly and seated to catch her breath. "So tired, so many things around... dizzy…"

Don looked at the also shocked Mikey with hateful eyes. "What the hell did you do to her?!" He shouted, barring Mikey.

"Me?!" The startled and feeling framed Mikey said, not fully getting Don's last word. "Dude I am not the one Leo kissed here, Domeo."

"Kissed!" another voice irrupted. "I told you to let Leo be!" Raph said barring Don.

"You want one too?! That can be solved." Leo giggled mockingly to Raphael, she was still breathing with difficulty from the couch.

"Enough!" Splinter said sternly arriving behind Raph, tapping his cane on the ground.

"Enough!" Leo repeated, giggling again.

The rat sensei turned his eyes towards the seated turtle. "Leonardo?" Splinter asked, approaching warily to the seated turtle who was breathing with difficulty and was paler than usual.

Leonardo's breathing became more unsteady as she shook her head. "Not the slave keeper of the grave of void! … Stay… away! …hurt… too much… Focus! He said so… They are not mine! … Can't breathe… Wanna go ho… me." she said, leaping and running toward the entrance of the lair but stopped abruptly as if she had crashed against an invisible wall. "Orders must be obeyed then… But beware!" she added turning but not meeting their eyes, pointing at herself. "One equal darkness… lost… its counterpart yang…teki?... adversary or nakama, a choice… a sacrifice… Yin fate? The deceiver sings and dances." She said doing a pirouette and darkening her tone: "Dark spirit coming into being pulls an impossible encounter!... blood falls…redemption? remains… in the dark!." she finished, stopping and sounding eerily collected. She met Splinter's eyes with a defiant glare: "Understood master… shinobi… samurai… Either way is fine but a choice to make, just let me know when you decide. Yet, you know if revenge is called justice, then that justice will breed only more revenge and before you seal me again …" she said coldly throwing an smoke bomb and flipping she ran towards the dojo, swiftly avoiding all of them.

"Leonardo!!" Splinter called, running after her only to find it vacant with the faded symbols Usagi had used on his visit glistening eerily on the wall.

"Father!" Donatello exclaimed, panting arriving shortly after the rat sensei who was looking at the wall with unease.

"Since when? How? Where are you my child?" the rat asked more to himself.

"Where is Leo?!" Don questioned, confused. He had rushed after them, hoping to intercede… or rather stop his father from…. Agh! This was so complicated and… _Where was Leo? _He thought with dread.

"There was not enough time to… Call your brothers, gather your weapons! We are going after Leonardo. Now!" The rat ordered not giving him any chance to reply as he started the mantra to open the portal.

* * *

_If I had died_

_I would have never felt sad at all_

_You will not hear me say: I'm sorry_

* * *

"Child?!" The Utrom laughed. "I should have you executed for that alone... But I am partly to blame after all. No, doctor. What I would give for that to be true, but as always," he sighed "…not that simple, that creature the one in hiding… a true deceiver is… shinobi."

_

* * *

_

_Where is the light?_

_W__onder if it's weeping somewhere…_

_

* * *

_

Raphael and Mikey were glaring at each other, not fully understanding what had just happened: Leonardo had openly spat at master Splinter and it had seemed as she had just flee from his father and all of them.

"What is going on dude?!" the distraught, confused and still coughing Mikey asked Raph.

"I just got here shell fer brains!" Raph spat as confused as the former. "Dunno! But I bet they do and this time I am getting some freaking answers!" Raphael swore, heading to the dojo.

Don met them at the door. "We are leaving now! Gear up!" he commanded, glaring at both of them with an uncharacteristic authority in his voice, not leaving room for arguments. If he had it his way, he would probably go alone after Leo. He would rather take LH along, but he was realistic enough to know, and was not that happy about it that he needed the others' aid. He dreaded leaving Leo alone with any of them, particularly with Splinter after her last display. He recognized the omen, but the words were different. Was there something Leo had found out about that? Maybe she had accessed the original omen with the Ancient One, the one probably in Japanese, but for how long had she…? _What had happened here? _He wondered, looking at Mikey begrudgingly. '_Focus!!_ _One thing at a time. There will be time for that later_,' he told himself, his begrudged look going on the rat sensei. He had mixed emotion regarding his master. He still respected him and loved him, it was his father... his sensei after all… He… All of them owed him their lives, their identities. Leo, the only one who was entitled to be angry about this, had been disturbingly collected.

"_He did the best he could__ Don" _she had said_ "And…I've had my share of knights in shining armor for a lifetime, so if you excuse me…" she had said pushing him away._

"Happy now!" Raph asked, taking his pack. "You finally drove Leo to the edge!"

"Don't speak of things you know nothing about!" Don replied coldly. "Like you have given her any support, you self-centered instinct driven bastard!"

"Certainly better than yours! You…" Raph spat ready to hit Don "… Wait… Her?" he shook his head. He **must** have misheard.

"We leave now! We will discuss later. Retrieving Leonardo has a higher priority." Splinter cut, pointing at the portal.

* * *

_Dancing alone again_

_again the rain falling_

_only the scent of you remains_

_to dance with me_

* * *

Leonardo looked at these events in retrospective, as fleeting images, and sighed as she crossed through the rainy Battle Nexus lands. If they needed any more proof that she needed to be to locked and that the key should be thrown away, this definitely was it. And that meant she had to hurry to wherever she was going this time. It had been surprising how fast she had opened it this time. Yes, she was in a greater hurry than the last time, or so it'd seem: To find answers, she was not so sure she even wanted but…. She sighed… Apparently, crossing portals to another dimension did not necessarily count as leaving the lair. _Well, not really according to… _She had indeed spent too much time under Ch'rell's tutelage: she was already finding loopholes with ease to justify herself, just as he did.

Being honest she had been astounded at how similar their minds worked, a true and horrifying discovery she had tried to ignore until now, considering he was a millennial evil creature and she was... _Don't go there!_ She was reluctant to recognize that had she been in his place, she would probably had been even more ruthless, or rather more throughout, if not for Splinter's moral standards. Yes, Ch'rell did tend to lose the small details in his big picture whenever he let his temper get the better of him, which fortunately for them had been quite common regarding them… her. She sighed. How had she allowed to let things get that far with Ch'rell? She still wondered, because she could have stopped it right?... Yes, sharing your mind with the clan's most hated fiend did count as getting up close and personal as much as she wanted to deny it.

"_Manipulative? __And what do think you do to the ones around you, empath? Karai is still recovering from whatever you did to her." She wished she could remember. "Open your eyes youngling." he had said __"As Patton said, I never tell my underlings how to do things. I tell them _WHAT_ to do, and they keep surprising me with their ingenuity. And don't pretend you have not done it."_

Yes, starting to understand his sense of humor had been chilling. _"Don't get moral with me, this universe, or world if you prefer, has not been better or worse with me the human, Tryceraton and whatever, do a great job themselves. You should see the Utrom council trying to make their minds on something and, being honest, in this world, c__rime doesn't pay... As well as politics."_

That cynical bastard… She had had to contain her laughter back then; but… being in his presence had been… had always been…. Intoxicating, with or without things in the air, it had made her feel… that everything was allowed, that the means to an end justified everything and that afterward, everything would be alright. Just like the time in the jungle. That bastard and his persuasive skills…_Yes, youth and skill are no match for experience and treachery… __and to make thing worse, had I… Don?_ She touched her lips with dread. Since when? As if he needed more encouragement. She slapped herself.

Trying to figure out what that arrogant self –righteous… pink blob! meant to her was complicated and exhausting, enough to also figure what she felt for certain purple clad green know-it-all,… soft speaking, gentle, caring… turtle with a knight in armor complex that, despite herself, had somehow made his way in her thoughts.

She shook her head. Hormones, no doubt! She had never been a fan of love stories. Yes, they were so… unshinobi-like… Of course, some of them had chivalry fighting evil and such, like Momotaro slaying oni, embarking in a quest was fair enough. But particularly the ones that were so complicated like the little Mermaid or the so acclaimed ultimate love story: Romeo and Juliet, as they involved blunt betrayal of homeland and clan. And those had to be definitively bad for both shinobi and samurai, for they were clear manifestations of lack of self control, and they even died at the end. So yeah, they had to be moral stories.

She had questioned Splinter once about those. That love thing she had read and seen in TV; it seemed very dangerous in her point of view as it seemed like a disease that made the ones in ail suffer from poor judgment and mood swings. Yes, April's roller coaster relation with Casey had been too weird for her. Karai and Chaplain? Yes… Love had never been something this warrior had been in pursuit of, she had never understood it. Was she calling this a love story now? She laughed. It was more like the _**Yotsuya Kaidan **_kabuki play Ch'rell had taken her to see in her opinion_**.**_ That had not counted as a date right?

She laughed bitterly 'Right, as if I need any more reasons to haunt him…" She stopped and breathed deeply to calm herself. "No, I will never be like Oiwa!" she told herself. "She loses herself so much that her vengeful spirit ends up killing everyone… related or not, even those she was supposed to held dear. When you curse someone, you do dig your own grave after all.'

She remembered the look the old rat had given her, an earnest pat in the head. _"'Love is the essence of life' is what my master used to say and I am trying to understand it, I guess one day you will understand too."_ _Yeah, right!_ She had thought back then. Looking at how her brother behaved around April… She did not want any of that. Yes, she had lied after all to herself. "If the enemy is in range, SO ARE YOU." And to be completely honest she had… and there was no way to reconcile it or explain it. She momentarily wished she could stay. She breathed deeply.

"Take away the cause and the effect ceases." Well that was a plan, right? And "The basic difference between an ordinary man and a warrior is that a warrior takes everything as a challenge while an ordinary man takes everything as either a blessing or a curse." Yes, this was a challenge she was going to win… regardless of the aftermath. She closed her eyes as she pushed the doors to the honor hall. It was surprising how empty this bizarre and fractured puzzled like land was outside the tournament season, which was good for she did not feel like explaining herself right now. She would not like to risk another fractured part of herself coming to the surface, particularly the slayer one.

_On the sidewalk of the city_

_are my screams just a whisper_

_busy people going nowhere_

_see me soak in the rain_

_no compassion nothing matters_

_my resistance is waiting_

_like a flower in the basement_

_waiting for a lonely death_

The Utrom laughed, suddenly delighted, to Karai's disconcert. His recent mood changes had all the staff worried. He had been almost depressed? She sighed. That Turtle did manage to affect everyone; whatever Leonardo had done to her that time was still taking its toll on her, so she looked at this creature she once called 'father' but whom she had grown to fear: she no longer understood him. Leonardo was right: none of them were human, she could not begin, or even hope, to understand him… Either of them. When she met him after his return, she had honestly thought he would execute her on sight. It was his right, she had earned it, just as it had been Leonardo's right – duty even… This time it was even worse: she had failed and betrayed. She still did not know why, that turtle was really charismatic, but she had resigned to her fate as she kneeled before him when he summoned her.

"So… You lost the heart of Tengu, got in league with those pests… What should I do with you Karai?" He had asked after listing all her transgressions. She had replied briefly, not even defending herself, telling the events and then closed her eyes, expecting to feel his blade any minute, but his reaction shocked her even more. "Colored dragons you say? I guess if Ieyasu could show mercy towards a reckless child, so can I?" he had said "Raise! You are kunoichi, not samurai, and you are still loyal to me, it seems. I had you face an opponent out of your league after all." he had said.

"So it seems our sneaky elusive warrior does have a breaking point after all. Had I known it earlier, I would have... sent the warrior back earlier… Yes, let the despair of reality settle in, open your eyes, open your mind, play with then if you wish and then come back home."

_As the pain sweeps through  
Makes no sense for you  
Every thrill has gone  
Wasn't too much fun at all  
But I'll be there for you-oo-oo  
As the world falls down_

_

* * *

_

**Author's Notes**

Hi everybody it's me again technical, health and inspiration issues have delay it but finally finish another chapter. I even wrote the second OMAKE.

Once again my infinite thanks to Lady-Kassy

Special thanks to Dozer and deathoftoast for still reviewing. Leo was acting like a Mikey high on sugar jumping all over the place before Don arrived I may include something later. Yes telling the Shredder he is not psychologically stable on his face by non opponents might be detrimental to anyones health

The Youtsuya Kaidan is a famous japanese kabuki story full of betrayal, secrets, murder, vengeful ghosts all I recently saw it in an animation not for the faint hearted. It is mention that the play might have a sort of Macbeth kind of curse on the staff who plays it. Oiwa is the ghost. Momotaro is achildren story of a boy found in a giant peach on the river by and old childless couple who later in live enlist some animals and they embark on a quest to kill the oni on an island (sort of sobrenatural creatures nocive to human from japanese folklore sometimes translated as demons actually they would be more like giants or throlls.) Both can be found on the net.

Well Romeo and Juliet by Shakespeare and Little mermaid by Andersen I guess you have heard of those. Funny enough on the original tale for the mermaid the witch is not really that evil like in the animated version she is more like protecting the oceans secrets from the human world and the little mermaid even gets a chance to recover her mermaid form granted by her sisters who gave their manes to the witch to save her of course she had to slay the one broke her heart... which she couldn't. Yes unsanitized and uncensored classical tales can't beat the gore in them.

The quotes are obviously not mine but is fun to play with them.

"if revenge is called justice, then that justice will breed only more revenge" from Naruto by M. Kishimo you would be surprise who said it. I gave on the anime a while a go too much filler but the manga still works.

"Never tell people how to do things. Tell them _ WHAT_ to do, and they will surprise you with their ingenuity." -- Gen. G.S. Patton

"Crime doesn't pay...as well as politics."- W. Tweed, Tammany Hall

"Youth and skill are no match for experience and treachery." - Unk.

"Take away the cause and the effect ceases." - Unknown.

Thanks again for still reading and reviewing they do encourage me to continue now on with the Omake


	50. Omake Part 2 Bonus Chapter

All TMNT characters are copyrighted by Mirage studios and were created by Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird.

**Second ****Extraordinary meeting for a little secret Story (OMAKE)  
**

Author: Well, I have reunited you here again to discuss… You know… the plot. Ahh… Leo is securely fastened, right?

Raph: He ain't escaping this time.

Tied Leo: Traitor!

Splinter: I must say, I find your comments on my parental skills disturbing, but the story is as good as any soap. So are we getting a wedding ending?

Leo: Wedding!! Father on which side are you?!

Splinter: The ratings one, my son, as always.

Shredder: You treacherous ingrate human! How dare you consort with my worst enemies? Now you don't only help them, you attend their social events! I bet you have something to do with this!

Author: No. Believe me; I am in no way affiliated to those events. I hold Karai in a high regard as a villain after all.

Karai: Amnesia… I swear they made me! Small prints on my contract. I swear Dad. At least they did not give me lines… I mean it was actually my kagemusha. Why would I be attending such a freak show?

April: Freak show! Watch that tongue sis! You begged me to be bridesmaid.

Karai: When? While I was battling you during the movie? Or during my cameo appearance at the beginning of the season and it was in the past?

Mikey: Way to go April! I mean… I did not know you were that popular to get the Tribunal, and without master Splinter, how did you contact Usagi, the daimyo, the other Acolytes, the Utroms and actually all our friends and allies and acquaintances both allied or not while we were so busy? And I did not know you were even acquainted with some of them. Yet you managed not to invite your own family.

Leo: Yeah! And… I mean, I respect Honeycutt and all but April, I don't think that ceremony was valid under Earth U.S. Laws. And after the way the Ancient One kicked my shell in the pre-movie comic… I was not that thrilled to see him.

April: Now that you mention it…

The tribunal demands forum!

Author: Who called you again? Yeah, I know! You do however go, take it on the show producers. I mean, they made you look even lamer this time.

We are the tribunal! We will have our revenge!

Author: Yeah Order. This is not about the 'let's make them all cameo' appearance chapter…I mean episode. This is about my story.

Don: Guys! Leo escaped again.

Karai: Where is my father?

Author: Ninjas… You can't trust them.

* * *

AN Saw the season ending what can I say when I saw Karai and Chaplain's names written clearly on the name cards for the wedding guests I had to remind myself it was canon not fanfic and I must insist what is the deal with Mikey?


	51. Past Perfect Continuous

All TMNT characters are copyrighted by Mirage studios and were created by Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird. Annie's song belongs to John Denver and RCA, Violent Red to Konaka Riyu and SM, Danzai no hana (English version) belongs to Kosaka Riyu and Avex entertainment, _Le pouvoir and Les Rois du monde from Romeo et Juliette by Gerard Presgurvic _and Polygram Int'l_, Yoma Kazoe Uta by Sakashita Masatoshi_.

_

* * *

The universe works on a__ basic economic principle: Everything has a price. We pay to create our future; we pay for the mistakes of our past. We pay for the changes we make… and we pay the same if we refuse to change."_ Dune: House Harkonnen

* * *

"…So be it!" The Utrom shouted raging as he received the news confirming his worst fears, the end of the game: she was gone. "I will show who was to fear, then. I will bring a new order to this chaos, a universe in my vision were nothing! Nothing will ever be taken from me again…"

"Then you will be the only bastard left in it." He could almost hear the Rylian reply, laughing from the beyond.

* * *

**PAST PERFECT CONTINUOUS**

Don awoke and found the asleep turtle, who had sleepwalked and sneaked again to his bed during the night. He smirked painfully. He had never imagined it to be like this, he had not imagined how much joy and grief this would cause. He sighed, making his best effort to not awake her or the sleeping beauty spell would dissipate as it always did in the morning. He backed a bit, just a bit longer, just… a few minutes more before she would turn back to her daylight indefinable and unpredictable counterpart. Only in sleep would she seek comfort, only in sleep would she request… help? He sighed. Well, not that it was new, he had to admit. She turned, becoming uneasy and uttered some unintelligible things and cuddle to his side again. Which made his heart drop. How should he interpret those events in the Battle Nexus that night? Should he even try to analyze this as anything but an instinctual reaction caused by the odd bond with him that had been forced on her by the healers of the Battle Nexus? 'Anchoring bond' they had called it, or confront her about it, risking she would just glare at him briefly, almost as if she understood and suddenly stop it altogether without a word and would just go deeper in wherever her mind was now? So close, yet so far. Well, he could dream…. Dream? That this was an illusion and when he awoke Leo would be back to normal… Whatever normal was for Leo.

_Come__, let me love you, let me give my life to you,  
let me drown in your laughter, let me die in your arms,_

_let me lay down beside you, let me always be with you._

He shook his head. He should not think of that, but were things different, he supposed this would be what paradise would look like, he thought looking at her now calm face. Her mere presence was enough to soothe his soul. However he fully knew it wasn't. It could not be for her. Actually, it was closer to… a dantescal vision, he thought as he heard the accursed bracelets on her wrists scratch his plastron with certain loath.

The previous days however…. The Battle Nexus Days, that day in the cave… He blushed… The questions she had made in that confused state: _Why are we fighting Don? Do you really know_?... _Does it matter? You will leave me alone too again… _It still haunted him.

Traversing mystical portals to other dimension had always befuddled him as nothing he had read, described or explained them properly and that odd feeling had always made him… being completely honest, uneasy. Teleporting and transmaterialization was one thing not pleasant either: the risk of materializing in a completely inappropriate place or pieces mixing was low but still present, so it scared him a bit, ending with Raph or Mikey attached was enough to make him or anyone shiver. After accessing the Utrom knowledge database through Honeycutt fragmented database added to his knowledge on the strings theory and quantum mechanics, it made sense… Well to him at least. It required a source of energy and the proper device. Fortunately, none of the other turtles or his father had shown interest in the topic for that would have been a very long explanation. But dimension crossing that was a whole different thing: it uses the mystical mumbo jumbo, as Michelangelo describe it. Not really going into it because he seemed to choose to be oblivious to it and to almost everything as much as he could.

Master Splinter had never been very talkative on the topic and considering the time it took him to open the portal, it was not his forte, Leo had done it faster than him the first time she had opened it after all, and this time…? In the cave… since when had she become so proficient to even open one of them in midair? …twice … thrice… Actually, why? And that open portal that opened suddenly and she had almost crossed alone before he caught with her and made her react… Where had she planed to go with that vacant look? Since she was not really conscious, who had…? _Usagi?_ He thought, hopeful but quickly dismissed it. No, there was something weird about that portal. _On open air you say?_ The damyo had asked, unbelieving and not even Usagi could have taught her that and according to the Daimyo, no one should and be alive to tell the tale. They were really lucky she had survived, he had needed to try CPR after all, and that vacant and haunted look in her eyes when she awoke briefly… _Why did you bring me back?_ He shook his head and clenched his fists. How could she say that after she had gotten hurt saving his sorry shell? He sighed, not wanting to wake her up… _Well, sort of, and, well, it's Leo_, he thought a bit unsure. If anyone could find one's way back, it was Leo.

* * *

_"Power and deceit are politic's tools. But remember that power deceives its holders making them believe that they can overcome the defects in their own ignorance."_

"And you just sent the turtle back young one!" Chikara said, unbelieving.

"As you instructed masters," The Ancient replied, wondering why he had been thinking of his lost family so much lately. Maybe even regretting some of his decisions which was futile, for the past was an illusion. "Who am I to contradict orders after all?"

"The sixth dragon?" Hisomi asked, doubtful.

"An unlikely possibility." Juto replied. "The sixth was supposed to be a true dragon and that one could not even bring a soul weapon."

"Or already had one… A true dragon would not need such implements. She certainly did not. A dreadful possibility: the soul the Tengu Shredder was probably originally after." replied Kon.

"The green witch, the demon summoner? But that would be…" Chikara started.

"Do we really know what happened in that so called tournament he won?" Kon asked.

"I do not recall noticing him particularly happy afterward." Hisomi replied.

"Do we really know what the Tengu must have offered him? Somehow; this days I wonder if simple power would have been appealing enough to someone as proud as him." Chikara said.

"How much do we really know about Ryoko?" Juto finished.

* * *

"Hold it right there! I refuse to continue this round around until someone freaking tells me what the heck is going on! Where is Leonardo? Where the hell are we going and what is going on with him?" Raphael said, refusing to take another step unless he was treated as a thinking member of the group.

"Raphael!" Splinter admonished him "Is not the time for…"

"When then, father?" Don replied quite defiant. "It will be quite useless if she commits seppuku!"

Splinter sighed. "I doubt that is what Leonardo is after, my son."

"But that is what Leo asked you permission for that night, right? When she gave you the sword. Seppuku or death by your hand."

"What?" Raphael said disbelieving.

Splinter sighed again. "To tell the truth, I still have not a clear idea of Leonardo's intentions, my son. As you have attested, there is nothing you can really forbid to a decided warrior. Leonardo has been… I believe, testing me for reason I cannot fathom."

"Wait a minute! What the heck are you…?" Raph intervened.

"Go back if you wish!" the annoyed Don said coldly, glaring at Raphael. "We will be better without you anyway! You will probably only get Leo killed anyway."

"Donatello!" Splinter reprimanded "The best tacticians try to avoid confrontation, particularly among their …."

"I am not Leo, father!..." Don finally erupted. "And I have no intention of becoming a Leo substitute for you either, guessing the meaning out of cryptic messages. I am not that talented in this warrior business you know it, I know. Even Raph and Mikey know it! I have proven more than once that my leading skills are not that impressive… I mean compared to … from the Foot to the Justice League and… even the battle Nexus? Who can compete against that? I cannot pretend everything is fine and keep my stoic face and cheer up everyone even when things are breaking down around me, I cannot obey things blindly and try to make the best I can of it… I know I must be even more of a disappointment to you than anyone here but I can't. I just… it's too much to ask of anyone!"

Raphael was about to explode too when his father hand on his shoulder deterred him. "I am not asking you to be Leonardo my son," Splinter said, a bit disconcerted, The Ancient One was right: he truly did not know his sons' hearts.

"Dudes!" Mikey shouted, standing in between them, trying to intervene as this emotional meltdown will not get them any nearer to Leo. "We know that Don, no one is expecting you to be Leo. But, seriously before we start singing kumbayas …" Mikey sighed deeply and look at Don and his father sternly. "What is going on? I mean…"

"Yes, that is what I want to know precisely Mikey." Don snorted, looking at him begrudgingly.

Mikey sighed. "Dude, chill out, nothing happened… and… and it's your fault: Leo just collapsed after you left and… why did you all left me alone for so long? I mean, it's me?"

"Collapsed?" Don repeated anxiously.

"Yeah, like that other time but, I mean, Leo was out cold for… nearly, I dunno, one hour. I even called April."

Donatello sighed deeply. She probably was worse than LH thought. "We must find Leo as soon as possible you see…"

_

* * *

Soon will find the sun_

_Soon my dearest One_

_The key to your life is almost in my hands_

_Is the name of the game_

"I am hoping there will be no mistakes this time. I am getting tired of this game, apprentice" the Utrom said, menacing.

"An Utrom using mystic forces? Unheard of." The Time mistress, sighing, said. "I assure you this time it will work. I mean, fortunately for us Leo is…"

_Hear my heart, wandering inside your mind  
I still can't let you go  
Feel my hand, reaching out for you  
there's nowhere I can rest my soul_

The only clear memory he had held after the second retraining came to mind.

"_What is__ it you want the most? Shall you be granted anything you wish, what would it be... power?" The Rylian had asked a bit doubtful, looking at the stars above her, not turning, not expecting an answer either and starting a song._

_Funny enough that__ was the only time the lone Utrom had not been able to think of anything but staying there and keep gazing at the stars._

"_Your attachment to that… pet is..." He remember them saying._

"_PET? How had he dared?"__ the retraining had done only one thing and it certainly had not been, as they later found out, what his former comrades expected._

_Le pouvoir, ah! mes amis  
Si vous en saviez le prix  
C'est la mort qui vous sourit  
L'éternité dans une vie_

_Et quand je rends la justice  
La vertu contre le vice_

_(The power ah! my friends_

_If you knew the price_

_Death that smiles at you_

_Eternity in a lifetime_

_And when I impart justice_

_virtue vs vice)  
_

"Me…? Evil?" The Utrom laughed "So…simplistic... and yet you dare call yourself a time master? I am justice, little girl. Power _is_ justice after all… For without power, as you must know, justice is… meaningless, right?

"Is that a question?" the disconcerted time Mistress asked.

The Utrom just looked at her, unyielding.

_C'est le père qui parle au__x fils  
Je commande, ils obéissent _

_(It´s the parent that talks_

_I order, they obey)  
_

"Just look around you, time mistress." The Utrom said. "I have lived long enough to understand that power is everything and yet…" His lecture was interrupted by the appearance of a portal, a clear presence distinctive through it. "Oh! It seems finally you got it right…"

The Time Mistress shook her head. "Well … Utroms and their innate resistance to mystical powers you cannot cross but how are your persuasive skills these days?… Still, your request is odd. I mean, it must have been trying for someone like you to remain trapped in this isolated planet for so long."

The Utrom grunted. "Who said I was? I was just too… proud to request aid, I guess. My forces do control a nearby sector after all._ Help_ has always been a call away" he said reluctantly.

_Le pouvoir ça brûle en vous  
Le pouvoir ça vous rend fou  
Le pouvoir on s'y cramponne  
Et quand il vous abandonne  
On en meurt_

_(The power that __shine in__ you  
_

_The power that maddens you_

_The power that imprisons _

_and if it abandons you_

_you die)  
_

"Then why?" the surprised Time Mistress said.

The Utrom just laughed. The truth was the aid was always within reach, but it came in a shape he was not willing to request, unless he was truly trapped as the time in that accursed frozen rock that had oddly help him focus for the first time in a long time after a much needed hibernation. _What had made that creature so appealing?_ he wondered. Why had he not given the decisive blow and had chosen instead to toy with his fellow Utroms for so long? "I am surprised that with your genius, it took you a thousand years to find us!" Treacherous Mortu's words had been and he was right: poor fool had never understood. He could not even understand he had been punishing them. Simple extermination was too merciful for them; had he just wanted that alone, his ninjas would have done it long ago, when he led the first attack on them. Their pathetic defensive efforts. And to think he once thought those creatures were worthy of his protection… The despair on their minds, being attacked without a reason, randomly, had been priceless. Of course, they went into hiding after his genius sabotage on their communication efforts. Little they know that to him, the Earth was not that bad. Human masses were quite easy to manipulate after all. Just a quick glimpse at human history could prove it. To him, this was a planetary playground, no rules to abide! It was hilarious it took the others… what? 200 years to find out the short living creatures could be used, and capable loyal hands were taking care of things after all. He was not really into world domination as the turtles seemed to believe and the turtle in question still would not accept, due to that vision or whatever the purple one had had apparently. He had unconsciously procrastinated his own efforts. After all, as deep down as he found during his forced frozen meditation, he dreaded ending the game. Funny enough, the turtle's appearance had made him redefine his goals by becoming an interesting, if not troublesome, opponent, the centuries old cat mouse game with his fellow Utroms lost interest. _"Who looks for meanings where there are not? Would you follow a path that lead you nowhere? _Troublesome! Why had he let the turtle go that day…? Had it been a whim or had he been unable to kill it and now two times now? He still wondered why had he attended that scouting in the first place. That uneasy feeling when he gave the extermination order… Too many things he had no answer to: and then, remembered the proud warrior's eyes that had faced him just after the failed first attempt to recruit Leonardo. "Boredom is a terrible thing after all, don't you think" he said.

Les rois du monde font tout ce qu'ils veulent  
Ils ont du monde autour d'eux mais ils sont seuls  
Dans leurs châteaux là-haut, ils s'ennuient  
Pendant qu'en bas nous on danse toute la nuit

_(the kings of the world do as they please_

_They have the world surrounding them, but they are alone_

_In their castles above they get bored_

_while we down here dance all night)  
_

* * *

Don got up and put a blanket over Leo. He was not in the mood to put up with any of his brothers' insinuations. Well not that he could deny them completely now.

"Leo… is… sick" Don said finally. "Leo is… really… really sick… She…"

"Your brother's mental health has been of some concern to us lately and we fear… he might harm himself." Splinter finished.

"No, father!" Don spat. "She is sick as in medical attention sick. We need to get to Leo as soon as possible so I can treat the withdrawal symptoms she must be experiencing and treat her medication induced anemia and determine what kind of drug was used on her. LH said she might be even…"

"Withdrawal? As in…? So perfect fearless was really using…?" Raph froze. Leonardo would not do such things! It was fearless! The perfect child, the good son... The one who did not drink alcohol, not even in New Year… Then it hit him. _She is sick?_ Again with _her_?

Mikey looked at both of them, unbelieving, and spoke his suspicions aloud. "You mean 'her' as in going to a parade, joining the rainbow club right? Because, dude, that is… well each turtle's business I do not want to know about... I mean, because gender change does not occur in turtles right? Like in the toads from the TV show we saw the other day, because you said it would only happen from female to male, right? …Or that means we are girls? Ah! Overload! My brain hurts!" He said, remembering a show that talk about gender changes in the absence of males in toads.

Raph stood still, remembering that show as well and then burst into laughter. "Yeah, right! And this is another freaking dream and the show girls are about to appear in a second from door number 3 right?" He had never seen Raphael so shaken.

Don sighed. Yes, they sort of knew now but were subconsciously not really accepting it fully. Actually, Raph was in denial and Mikey was not talking about it in his Mikish way. Well, he was the smart one and had the information and it had taken him almost more than a week to digest the data and, well, to tell the truth, he was still too confused about the events in the Battle Nexus. The one who knew was not speaking at all and just replied in brief smiles or giggles and he was not going to allow anyone to force Leo into anything.

_

* * *

This world I am standing on  
Needed some solitude  
That truth I had to accept, soak it in  
Your shadow I can see  
Your dream I can't awake  
I tried to trace it all_

"What do you mean let it go for now?" The still shaken Utrom complained to the Time Mistress' sudden intrusion.

"Being acquainted with your great experiences in cloning I would say you should stop before you do need to make a clone. Something or someone is holding Leo there and… "

He was so close, yet suddenly, nothing except that eerie familiar song that had suddenly shaken so many things inside him he could not understand. He had not lied to the turtle: Utroms did not feel love; the word did not even exist nor in Utrom or Ryilian languages, he thought, annoyed. But, apparently… He sighed. They… he could still become obsessed_._

"_A__ttachments are unnecessary, that is the true Rylian way. That is why revenge is futile. However, the pathetic fools that designed me could not be called real Rylian. Can't fight programming, I guess, a good soldier a useful tool." she had said sarcastically._

_But then what else I could have done? What was it you wanted from me? __What it was I wanted all along? Where was I rushing to? It was something quite cruel to leave me behind. _

_Do yo__u know how trapped  
I am? Don't leave me here alone_

He sighed, annoyed at this apparently new interfering force he had felt. He could not identify it yet but it mattered not. _I am probably still much of a youngling, after all._ He was not letting anyone else have his precious un-awakened dragon and, even if it awoke… Well... what could possibly be offer to it to anchor it?

Tucking the whole universe into my pocket

Daring like the night Dashing like the light

Name your wish and I will make a dream come true

A fabulous nightmare

* * *

Who was Leo talking to there? Don wondered, What was that thing Leo had been so determined to obtain?… How could that creature, that had lived so long ago, be connected to Leo? Who was Leo singing that eerie song too?

_Hitotsu no hitoyo no koi naraba_

_Futatsu futari de…_

Why was she crying? Why had the healers chosen him?

"You came for me" Leo's words had been looking blankly at the portal.

"A choice, a sacrifice, yin fate?" He closed his eyes and shivered, Feeling Leo's warmth embrace again, as though she was trying to ease him.

* * *

**Author's notes**

Thanks again to lady-Kassy.

The story just turned 1 year and still writing hopefully I will wrap things up soon. Can't believe it was supposed to be a oneshot.

Thanks to Dozer, Ninjalara54virusesMondhexefan, deathoftoast and Light of Reason for still reviewing sorry about the delay.

About the inspiration I have not read the Twilight series yet but I saw the movie so it will be Gunm (a.k.a. Battle Angel Alita) cool manga series too bad they only did 2 animated chapters too complex I guess I am crossing my fingers on the movie they could really mess it up like they usually do with Assimov, Death Note, Xenogears (great story, too bad disk 3 is a reminder of the original Dune movie last part (What was that powerpoint?), lately Dune.

Hi! It's been a while, yeah I still breath and things are fortunately going back to normal in the region I live, but several issues were at hand including a major writer's block, technical problems and I still know where I am going getting there has been an issue though. Hence so many musical references I guess. I thought the song the power from Romeo et Juliette fits here let me know what you think.

Well reality is truly wild the swine (I know is was just the name actually and we can keep eating pork unless there is a dietary restriction), the avian, the cow, heavy metals in fish... what next the attack of the killer tomatoes or "the happening" not really for they have pesticides. We are being attacked by our food! or rather we are making our food attack us and as the joke goes that leaves chocolate and ice cream and they make you fat!

Ok, My arguments before I get flamed: Secret origins; had Ch'rell really wanted to kill the other Utroms he could had done it as it was shown on the collective memory (before the turtle's interrupted and changed the story) , when he ordered an attack on them and probably sequestered most of the technology they had from the spaceshipwreck but he let them go, no casualties apparently, which is absurd if he needed them to help him find a way out he should have just jail them and forced them to and I must admit it took them all a very long while to get out so and they seemed quite weary of strangers I think their latest guardians were either Robots, mechs or the reason why the were playing with the mutagen I am wondering why they did not requested or received help either, I mean carrying a dangerous convict and losing contact for a few hundred years did not raised any alarms?, I am assuming he did something to prevent them. There was an actual confrontation between Mortu and Ch'rell and he seemed baffled about his behavior. Also in SAINW he apparently was not in any rush to leave Earth (30 years I mean he had already subjugated the Utroms and the whole planet and had all the means so was he enjoying the view...?) and after they teleported he was frankly suicidal and making lousy choices even before I mean he just sent his troops away (meaning Hun and the Elite after Stockman?) to become outnumbered what kind of bad choice is that. Also he kept rambling about a revenge that was never really explained even before the crash on Earth so I am just using plot holes. The other part is he seemed to have full confidence in his allies in Tenella 5 (after a 1000 years?) I mean he basically told Karai, don't worry about the mechs, soldiers and everything we left behind. About the original don't you love those legends were none of the actual characters actually survives yet somehow the story gets told we even get to know what they thought in the exact moment, so if everything happened in the mind of the original Oroku Saki did he just shared his experiences with the others or what? He might have tried to recruit them though. I know too much rambling.

About the lyrics choice Violent Red is not a translation is a song from vampire Princess Miyu from an obscure drama disk cool song very hard to get, Danzai no hana from Claymore is the actual English version not a translation. _Le pouvoir and Les Rois du monde I love thosesongs__, Yoma Kazoe Uta from Blood reign that one can be found on the net A.k.a ninja counting song._

Thanks for reading an reviewing


	52. Downward Spiral

All TMNT characters are copyrighted by Mirage studios and were created by Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird. Sexy, Sexy by Hysteric Blue from Gakko no kaidan, Rinbu no mori by Kakinouchi Masami Vampire Princess Miyu, Danzai no Hana by Riyu Kosaka and Avex entertainment, Aka no kakera by Naoki Maeda from 07 ghosts, Karma by Kokia from Requiem for phantom, Walk Through the Fire by Joss Whedon and 20centuryfox, Nemo by Nightwish and Phantom Sound & Vision record company.

* * *

"From ignorance, lead me to truth; From darkness, lead me to light;" The blue clad turtle recited the old mantra."

* * *

**DOWNWARD SPIRAL**

Well… It's easy: we take the freaking things off!!" Raphael yelled, he was about to use his sais in the glowing artifact s on Leonardo's wrists, back in his 'let's hit it and we will figure it out later'. He was still feeling twinges, coldly ignoring how forcefully he had been repelled from the blue clad turtle on his last attempt of approach.

The pale looking expressionless healer gave the turtles a disconcerted glare and then looked back to the Daimyo who nodded. "It would be inadvisable: even though they might be related to your sibling's current condition, taking them off would only make it worse."

"But…" Donatello said, not understanding.

"Those are complex mystical devices I had only seen once, on her." he said pointing to the statue Leonardo had been looking at. "Rylian I believe a champion and an interesting creature… Actually, at least one of them belongs to her, if not both of them, but it had never reacted before and an odd creature indeed, probably a yin dragon."

"So we call this champion gal, whatever, right? So she can take them off." Mikey said, as it was the most natural thing in the world.

The Daimyo addressed only Splinter. "That would be impossible my friend. I met her in my youth before I ascended the Nexus throne, about a 1000 years ago, in your time, she is long gone…" Foreseeing the next question, he continued "Rylian are an almost, if not already, extinct race, my friend… Very wary of strangers very zealous of their knowledge and technology, the ultimate warriors … Complicated creatures, yet only she was summoned to the Nexus."

"Summoned? So how did Leo get the other one?" Don asked.

_nee? heya ni konai? NAISHO no HANASHI kikasete ageru (Why don't you come in the room? So you can hear a secret story)_

_koyoi NORE nai nara TAKE AWAY shite mo dou shiyou mo nai ne (If you don't, It looks like I will have to take you away)_

Suddenly Leo had nodded. "Understood" she said in a low voice and turned, ignoring them and now facing the Oroku Saki statue in front of her. The slash blue marks on her shone and slowly transformed into an intricate pattern. She said in a very collected voice:

"Baka: Toki wa modosenai!!" (Fool. Time cannot go back)"

"What is that?!" Mikey exclaimed, his jaw dropping to the floor, recognizing the familiar face of the Shredder. "Dude! I only thought good guys made champions."

Leo had gone on singing Don recalled trying not to think in the omen too much:

_hoshi wa aozame hana wa midareru (The stars paled, flowers deranged)_

_YAMI no naka kara KIRAKIRA to utsushiteru no (Are you shinning from the darkness?)_

Don paused trying to evoke all the details he could have missed...and then, she had knelt to put her hand on the ground. And then, the flash of light and a portal had appeared. _Luckily_, he had been close enough to follow her. She had not been really attentive to them or anything else. _Oroku Saki?!_ A former champion, in the honor hall the one who had supposedly defeated, the ever elusive and overly powerful Tengu Shredder! Don punched the wall again trying to organize his memories trying to keep his cool and remain objective. _How was he involved in this?_ He should have seen it coming when he heard the tale of this unearthly foe. The Law of conservation of energy: energy cannot be created nor destroyed but that would mean… He refused to believe it. They needed the tribunals knowledge but ….¨if the tribunal finds out he… She is doomed¨ had said Splinter

They had other means of information though but…

"Rylian you say? Oh Dear, I have few data about them, I don't think we can contact them" Honeycutt had said. "Not through the Utroms, at least, they called them the harbingers of destruction. The only known Utrom recorded to have had a somehow _"friendly"_ relationship of sorts was…. Is…" Don gulped.

_

* * *

karamitsuku yubisaki no shinkirou (A mirage from our held fingers)_

_jirashite jirashite jirashite jirashite (tease me, tease me, tease me, tease me_

_JIRIJIRI ikasete (let me in!)_

_itsu made mo kono atari de koi shiteru (Forever, I'm in love with you around here)_

_I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I NEED YOU I NEED YOU_

"You sure are a handful, reckless child…you should have said something if you did not feel alright I…I really should kill you for giving me all this trouble youngling… warrior." The Utrom said.

"I dare you! Make my day! You are far easier to deal with in your '_kill them all'_ mode... Why did you have to kill master Yoshi anyway? I mean… is so…" Leo replied giggling drowsily.

The Utrom sighed. "There is something I think you must know about that, but I don't think you would…" The Utrom replied as he carried her back to her room.

"More hitsuzen blabber Hm? Predestination my…" Leo replied groggily feeling a cold shiver as the robotic hand caressed her cheek.

"Hush, you are still unwell …something else …, but never mind laughing if you want… You know, the first time I saw you, I could have sworn we have already met and I was quite close not to let you go at all and now… getting a chance to know you better has made my time in this accursed place … well… worth while."

* * *

Leo awoke, hyperventilating again and shivering.

"Leo…Leo what is wrong?!" She could hear Donnie ask in the background. Good Don… Always worrying… Who is Don? Who is Leo? She shook her head and made an effort to collect herself, the second bracelet had made things increasingly difficult. She was over the pain, the confusion but….So much information… present, past future… All in one so many things. How had that creature managed to have coherent thoughts occasionally to interact with Ch'rell eluded her. Probably her mind was stronger, obviously more Utrom like, that was why. She so not comforted herself as she could hear the cold Rylian thoughts resounding in her head

"It is your choice though, but I must warn you, the truth you have asked for is rarely simple and pure. I speak out of experience. You and me and universe; how things are interconnected. The whys; how can I know? I am just a figment of memory, of a time past. You are the being now, you decide. After all, you cannot be possessed by your own spirit can you? .... Or you can remain here is your choice… Nature, the universe makes no mistakes. Good…bad…are categories we were like genetic mirror images. How could a monster like me know? And I had my orders. By my people, I would have been regarded as a hero." she laughed bitterly. "I mean, it brought an Utrom to trial, to show the rest of the galaxy how nice and correct those hypocrites really are."

_Red and black, a world of tranquility._

_You can sleep for as long as you are here_

* * *

"No! He said so… they are not mine!" Who was she talking about, Don questioned himself no longer sure knew if he even wanted to know so he looked at his father who was giving him an equally suspicious glare, probably questioning his relationship with Leo with his censoring eyes. Well… she kept sneaking into his room….

"I was just thinking father, I was just… trying to make some sense out of it."

"How is she?" The old rat sensei asked.

"Heavily sedated. Medically speaking, she is stable now, the transfusion seems to have worked so she is able to breathe better. She is still exhausted, confused and fortunately, no long term damage seems to have happened to were LH could tell but…"

"Her mind is the problem right?" The rat said remembering why she had to be sedated.

"My child, do you hear me?" he had said. "Please come back to us, I….. there are so many things I need to tell you. Please believe me when I say I never meant you any harm. If there is something, anything..."

She had replied not looking at him. "What you seek no longer exists, have you come to a decision or should I make it for you?" She had said.

"I believe." he sighed painfully. "This is out of out hands. Now, the tribunal is bound to come for her and I don't think I…"

"And they'll do what Father?! Kill her? Lock her in a coffin for a few thousand years as they did with their former comrade? For what we know, they could be as clueless… and still I think we are missing something."

"Leonardo needs help but I am not entirely sure it's one you can provide. I wish she had consulted me. I..."

"Stop thinking soap opera like father," said he. Finally he had it with Raph's accusations. "So, how did Leo get yer silence, wise guy?"

"I know how this looks, but Leo and I are not…" He stopped; he really didn't know anymore. "I just can get this off my mind, the similarities between that creature's statue and that body armor are…"

The rat sensei looked at him inquisitively.

Don breathed deeply. "She had been fine, more than less considering the situation, and ready to talk but then, that day happened. Leo's trust in us, or rather lack of, how often we have taken her for granted, we just expect her to solve our troubles. I mean, first on that accursed Christmas Eve and then on her "training"… I keep thinking: had it been any of us, Leo would have gone after us one day, hour or minute regardless of your orders. But that accursed day, when the feud with the Foot started… That day… she was not behaving any different from the rest of us… Actually, I believe it was Mikey who put the challenge, bragging about his wonderful nun chucks, you know Leo had no plans to leave that night, she was just joining the game, trying to be… I don't know… one of us for a change. Yet, you swept the floor with her, belittling the only thing she took pride in, which is fine. I mean, there was a lesson to be learnt but we all should have received it, not just her; I wonder, Father. Do you even notice how hard you have been on her anymore?"

"Your point is… my son?"

"I am wondering: the following time Leo was returned to us… badly beaten," he said, clenching his fist. "but alive, it made no sense: he had her in his grasp. We did not question…"

"I too have wondered about that, but I did not want to burden her more."

"My point is, Leo was being… harassed by that creature at the time… had been for a while."

"Harassed?" Splinter said.

"She did not tell you then, father?, no wonder after how you…we mop the floor with her, she would probably not want to bother. You would not want to give us more reasons to humiliate her, but for what she told me, he had been pretty insistent. I think we are just mere obstacles that creature had no interest in us whatsoever. Thorns in his side, he had said. It was Leo it was after?"

"But… master Yoshi"

"Master, don't make me choose because I will choose Leo's life a thousands times over a vendetta! And forgive me, but let's face it: I don't think master Yoshi meant that much to him. Master Yoshi was probably just a means to end, in that case get to the Utroms… I would be surprised if that creature Shredder…gave him a second thought. I mean, you saw him in the tower until Bishop showed up, he was merely toying with us. What, or whom, is the Shredder anyway? The Utrom, Karai, the 2000 year ghost warrior former ´_Nexus Champion´_ we fought," Don said with a tad of sarcasm. "The Tengu, none seems to know anything about how he fought and how is the omen interpreted? Do you know? Because despite all the evidences, I still can't take from my mind that she was more than less fine, tempering the storm until…. I won't accept that you think she is to…"

The rat lowered his eyes. "They feared Leonardo might turn into a new Shredder but now…I don't know. I knew she had a strange fascination on that creature but I never…she never…"

_

* * *

I heard your voice go hoarse as you screamed_

_Unravel the darkness that resides in your memories_

Don continue dwelling on his memories. They had landed in a secluded place of the Battle Nexus and Leo had just kept walking forward swiftly. "He was so sad…" she said sighing, "So sad…because… of me? It's so easy how grief turns into rage; and vengeance takes over discussion."

_True you have lost sight of what is real and __what isn't_

_But in order to regain your sparkle_

_You must cross over a thousand years worth of time_

"Who was sad Leo?" Don had asked trying to get her attention. "Who are you talking about?"

She had smiled sadly. "Karma, falling into the same endless repetition again and again, like a spiral. Even if I were reborn, I will continue to wander… someone whose heart I broke long ago, someone who would not let me go."

"Leo…" Don said hoping to get a clue. "Who were you talking about?"

"Not shining and yet not covered by cloud; on a night on a spring the misty moon is beyond compare." Leo said in Japanese, touching a rock in front of her and opening another portal. "He used to say to me, I can't see the moon from here either. He can be kind too you know? Sometimes." she had said with a halfhearted smile.

_Don't you know, there is a beginning  
in every single pain  
Anxiously waiting for the __end  
to come for it to fade away_

Don remembered he had barely made it as she crossed. He had had no idea where they were, the images had been blurry and he had difficulty focusing, they had been transported back in the honor room but at the same time they weren't. It was different as if they were ghosts? an inter dimension thing probably. He could see a blurry image of Raph covered in a red light and Mikey with a yellow and orange tone mixed with multiple colors, _your regular fruit salad no doubt_, his father had a dull mustard tone over a blue and greenish tone and behind him was…? He had brought his hand to his eyes and shook his head to clear his eyes and his own glowed in a green tone like the healer but with some brownish spots, the Daimyo's had a blue golden color. Had he seen their auras? He wondered. He then had suddenly felt a twinge and he had seen many shadowy creatures' beady and shiny eyes that lurked in that place. He remembered feeling disoriented and looking for Leo until he found her near the statue, where a trophy now laid in the statues hands. She looked surprisingly clear, save for a whitish grey tone on her that gave her and eerie look. She almost seemed to belong there. They creatures seem to ignore her but began crawling towards Donatello who had taken his bo staff out to try to frighten them away, to no avail, as he saw Leo's figure walking forward to take the crystal thing, He had felt overwhelmed as if they were smothering him.

_I touch the fire and it freezes me  
I look into it and it's black  
Why can't I feel?  
My skin should crack and __peel__  
I want the fire back _

"They feed on fear." she said coldly, not turning her back making those creatures retreat.

"Leo, I… you see them." Don said.

"Always do, just ignore them." Leo shook her head. "Sorry… Leo is not here right now, well, not the one you know. Sorry about your car by the way, I thought you had forgotten." What had she meant by that he wondered.

"Car?" Don had repeated confused back then.

"Had I been paying more attention, it would not have fallen at all... You would not have fallen. I did retrieve it but I was afraid you would fall again as you seem to value it more than your safety, my bad. I kept it as a reminder. It must be somewhere in the remains of our first lair. I tried to fix it but it seemed that, no matter how I tried, it would not work again. I thought that if I did, you would look at me with that same interest. With effort and patience, I can approach Mikey's talent, but he still wouldn't look at me; with foresight and skill, I can approach Raph's strength, but he would still despise me. However, your genius… Sorry, I am not that talented. Never was. I guess that is why I am a burden to you. He is right: you are better without me."

"No, we are not… What are you talking about?!" Don asked.

"You did not even miss me right? You did not notice? He said so. Oops! My bad…" she giggled. "Why are we fighting, Don? Do you really know? Sorry for dragging my problems to you." she said, pointing at Splinter. "I hope he does… You saw it too, didn't you? Does it matter? You will leave me alone too again_… _Now where were we?" she said, ignoring him again.

_So I will walk through the fire  
'Cause where else can I turn?  
I will walk through the fire  
And let it-_

"Leo? Leo!" he had called as Leo crushed the crystal in her hand and a grey smoke started evolving her, she still had some superficial cuts from that.

Suddenly they had been forcefully pulled back to reality as the Daimyo used his staff to bring them back as he learned afterward. However, they both appeared on the rooftop of the building. Leo had graciously grabbed an adornment but Don had not been so lucky and began a free fall in front of the turtles' and his master's despaired eyes.

It had been a matter of seconds: Leo had jumped, embracing him... then a light and, before he knew it, they had both plunged into the water of an underground cave that he was certain it was not there before.

Leo had hit her head on descend and nearly drowned. He had barely coordinated, pulling her out of the water and giving her first aid. It had been almost mechanical.

_Oh how I wish__  
__For soothing rain__  
__All I wish is to dream again__  
__My loving heart __  
__Lost in the dark__  
__For hope I'd give my everything_

"Please breath! Leo… Don't… please stay… DON'T LEAVE ME!" What a great hero he was he remembered clenching his fists.

"Why did you bring me back?" she had asked suddenly and had returned to sleep the glistening marks on her losing their glitter.

The rest of the time there had been a torture: she would just awake briefly and then fade again into unconsciousness, uttering things, some understandable, some gibberish, he was not even sure.

"Long ago, word a promise, whispered in the wind."

"Leo!" Don had said. "Everything is alright."

She shook her head and focused her eyes on him.

"Make it go away, please. Please, make this… things go away." she had pleaded.

"Leo? What is wrong? What is hurting you? You can tell me, whatever it is. How can I help you?" Don said, tenderly caressing her cheek and looking at her vacant eyes and worried how she shivered. She was ice cold and slowly falling into brumation. He had to do something. Anything!

"What lies at the heart of the curse… you ask?" She said suddenly. "The white face one asked me that."

"Curse?_" _Don had replied. _White face… tribunal?_

"A stolen kiss in the heat of battle that burnt like fire." she had said muzzling, her beak against his.

"The ashes of a… _'love'_ turns to loath and lust with a dreadful result," she said taking his hands to her face.

"The cycle turned into an impossible obsession." She whispered to his ears and paused, retreating a bit.

"An Accidental Tragedy brought guilt, an spun vengeance. A curse that had kept going, just causing sorrow through millennia turns to an indescribable thing, but before that, there was something else. That lies at the heart of the curse you asked, as they did before you?" she said with a painful smirk.

"Just regret, fear, anger, hatred and sorrow that will beget more of the same emptiness." She begun shivering violently.

_W__ill drive a man right off his head -  
it's easy!_

"I can't make it go away, I can't make it stop… Too much… Too many voices. Show me, please… I just don't want to feel this anymore. I want something, anything real…I dare you to tell me everything is all right, that everything will be fine. Please, show me this." and saying that, she brought him closer to her and kissed him with passion… Don cold shivered. He had almost lost himself in her embrace, trying to warm her up a bit. Who could have told Leo could be so… he blushed. It had taken all his will not to take advantage of the situation. He was a fricking teen after all. He had been so close of losing control to his basic instincts, when April's comment hit him '_not to run until she is ready', _a fortune Leo's scent was almost suppressed by her self medication attempts, because otherwise … He dreaded to think about it because, yes, his selfish inner self would have loved to give in and forget everything else. Think of the consequences later but… it was just too complicated, too many things at stake.

_

* * *

This is me for forever__  
__One without a name__  
__These lines, the last endeavor__  
__To find the missing lifeline_

"_Final lesson learnt! Illusions, the world is... Now you need your own guidance to develop your own voice, to grow up and become your own master… For your master cannot carry your burden for you anymore, for you no longer child."_

"Focus" she told herself. "You are stronger than this, there is no obstacle I can't overcome..."

"You could have stopped him!" Leo yelled with her leader tone.

"Probably, but you know, though slicing him was tempting and all, you have gotten practice, slice now, ask later, haven't you but… I, the one with all the answers was… afraid…terrified would be a more appropriated word, of finding out, so I ran, I hid. Can you blame me?" The Rylian laughed cynically. "Unlike you, I was never cared for before… Never… how you say it?…Whatever that was, so the possibility of betrayal was a truth I was not eager to face. But I must say, I am a bit jealous though: he never courtshiped me like that, I never let him either though, one of the disadvantages of being the best warrior."

"Courtship?!" Leo said.

"You know, showing off how mighty you are and nearly killing its intended one was a Rylian way of courtship, that was why we were a lousy race to let in the wild, the survival rate was not high. I wonder if he has even rationalized it. Though we were terrific armed forces! Our original masters knew it a safety measure. As they knew their almost immortal planners, the Utroms would end up disappearing due to their tendency to lose themselves in thought for the collective, always pondering. You see, we were both the same race after all: two artificial subtypes with a common origin in struggle due to laughable technicalities.

An Utrom with a Rylian mind and drive, a Rylian with Utrom empathic abilities able to foretell any enemy's weakness but without its restrictions, a match to behold that should have ended in mutual annihilation just for a small detail: a paradox, an order conflict, being Rylian yourself you should understand what I mean… So, the question is: knowing this do you really want my help?"

* * *

"Donatello! Focus!" Splinter reprimanded.

"Father, can we be absolutely sure that creature has not approached Leo again?"

"But you said…" Splinter stopped.

The shellcel rang and LH voice spoke "Donatello I believe you should come here. We have visitors."

* * *

**Author's note**

Hi everyone, it´s me again.

Once again several issues had delayed this chapter but I have not given up so bear with me and thanks for reading.

Once again my infinite thanks to Lady-Kassy for putting up with this massive story.

Special thanks to deathoftoast I agree with you it is not something easy to digest even for the readers great song selection by the way, funny Pokemon music had never struck as good before maybe I´ll use it. Dozer thanks for your continual reviews, yes I know the Utrom is not that popular hence the very few not let´s just bash him stories available but it helps the story flow without an antagonist no epic is possible. April01 Thanks for giving the story a chance.

I was a bit annoyed by Splinter's attitude in the chapter the Shredder Strikes in which the Shredder is introduced. Splinter had been obviously withholding information from them regarding this ninja army foe but did not forbid them to approach or fight leaving them clueless, which was in obvious conflict with any sensible planning and then interferes in a brotherly friendly fight, I mean Leo had been just playing along and Splinter instead of reprimanding him privately just sweep the floor with him humiliating him in front of the rest causing Leonardo enough discomfort to leave the lair. After witnessing Leonardo's improvement in his brief appearance from the future in Timing is everything the Shredder would have seen the need to strike with full force this thorns in his side in the Shredder strikes back however there is a loose end, why did he let Leo live more than less? it is just not his style to let loose ends to run free and in return to New York the Shredder is sort of disappointed Leonardo did not join him when he offer him the chance when was that exactly? in the time frame when we see Leo collapsing to the Elite attacks and being thrown through the window probably which was not shown but certainly Leonardo would not have lead the Foot to April´s apartment, he would have died first. And finally in Exodus he seem to be playing with them until he was informed Bishop was in the building and decided it was time to flee.

Finally Don is starting to piece the facts together I remember reading somewhere that usually the truth is only known by the directly affected and they might have their own interpretation. I remember reading about a strategy War Game in which an editor reviewer blamed a squadron leadership during WWII for not achieving a victory as it seem so easy in the game and was rebutted by someone who was an actual combatant who reprimanded this desktop general replying that was described to be in the books regarding that battle conditions was not the reality they had lived so keep that in mind.

Instincts can be a tricky thing we "civilized societies" tend to ignore on their effects believing we are over them that we reign supreme over our ids as Freud call them but the reality is more like the Lock and Key song by Rush. We are not that evolved.

I must say that lately I must agree with the the more I know people the more I like my dog saying. Not just corrupt politicians those are scum everywhere I wonder if is a requirement, with them is usually the bad and the worst to choose from talking about the id running wild, but I saw a fragment of Taken (the movie not the series) the plot is in the imdb about the underworld slave trade on "the civilized society that banned it long ago" which targets children and women and is chilling since I got a mail requesting help about a stolen child and it is really heartbreaking, since let´s face it normal people would not be able to do a thing unlike Liam Neeson in the movie if involved in a similar situation. The "is a business" catch phrase is a despicable way to rationalize what cannot be explained to any conscience but true. Well I guess most of us get an idea in the too abundant forensic or crime oriented programs, I don´t know if that is good or bad there are so many, feeding the morbid tastes of the audience well not that is new something had to take over the public execution audience maybe is a reflection of our apathetic society in general that puts a blind or a cynical eye on the darkness beneath which is even more disturbing for what is ignored or taken as an as it is cannot be fought or changed, I used to watch the discovery channel I learned about animals, civilizations, legends and lately its been taken over too prisons, and crime cases, forensics dominate the primetime though there are some good shows still I wonder what would an extraterrestrial intelligence would think about our societies as a whole and I don´t think we will be marked as friendly or civilized.

Well enough gloomy ramble post election blues I guess.

Thanks for reading and reviewing.


	53. Inside the Maelström

All TMNT characters are copyrighted by Mirage studios and were created by Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird. In the Shadows and Guilty by The Rasmus and Interscope Records, I've Seen it all by Björk and Elektra / Wea, Dangerous Game by Leslie Bricusse, Wildhorn and Atlantic / Wea. Some concepts borrowed from GUNM Last Order by Yukito Kishiro.

* * *

_Won't stop  
Won't stop before I find a cure for this cancer  
Sometimes  
I feel like going down and so disconnected  
Somehow  
I know that I am haunted to be wanted_

_

* * *

"Thirty years?! And this is all you have? Truly pathetic"_ The oddly aged Utrom, almost disappointed said.

_

* * *

_

**INSIDE THE MAELSTRÖM**

_Had __I been walking straight to a trap?_ Leo wondered, remembering the Utrom's words on their supposedly forgotten meeting but all considered, the truth apparently was that he was being manipulated too. Could she trust her Rylian unapologetic former life to help her? Could she trust herself or whatever she became afterward? Shell! She had not that much confidence in herself already. Nothing is free, everything had a price, she knew that. That creature had had ulterior motives, hadn't she? And she was not precisely apologetic or sorry for this, it was clear as water. But then, had she had another choice but to be what she had been? Whatever it had been, it was history now, yet it seemed as though the whole universe had conspired to bring her to this. If Ch'rell had to be stopped, then why was the Null Time Order now helping him? Renet and her Time Mistress schemes! Would heeding with Ch'rell's wishes stop the Shredder? She was so tired of this, she did not even care what that would imply, as disturbing as the courtship thing sounded, though actually in that aspect the other turtles seemed more threatening. Or would she find herself thrown back into this unending spiral again in a future life? Was there a way to stop this? Don's tale had chilled her and had made her push away her doubts regarding her father's far-fetched suicidal plan back then. Where were the Tribunal, the Justice League members and the Null Time Order in that reality? Even if it had sounded as the world the "original Shredder" had been trying to create, senseless destruction was not really part of Ch'rell's personality. He was still much of an Utrom to indulge in such things and, not that he had ever been a model of propriety, but it was definitely of the Shredder apparently. He too had gotten more than he bargained for after all, when he got the heart of Tengu mystics included another thing the Tribunal had not told them a thing about, despite her inquiries, the only topic he had refused to address that left a myriad of unanswered questions: had he maybe taken it from the Tribunal? How? Since they were… Well the Tribunal. Had the Tribunal given it to him? Why? Knowing them and their schemes… Anything could be possible… _Great_! She thought. She now knew him well enough to know that, she had always had an inkling that the Utrom had not been fighting seriously: despite his overly dramatic gestures, he had not enslaved Japan when he had the chance with his mighty Tengu katana after all. And, to tell the truth, she had always dreaded the change that had fortunately never come. Don's tale had confirmed it for her. _Why had the timeline changed so dramatically? _she wondered, because more than alternative universe, it sounded more like a time travel. Just because of Don's disappearance…? A singularity? Their multiple time travels, particularly one outside the Null time intervention… "_Had I not seen you that day in the evolved form you have now, I would have never noticed, I would say you made me overreact, …" It could have had something to do with that? _But, what had he meant by that? How much did Ch'rell know? It was difficult to tell. Yes, he was shinobi as well and a very proficient one. Unfortunately, Don had been too traumatized about how their great plan to take down that Ch'rell ruled world was going to work to force him to go into details, like why the Shredder would look any different "aged" in mere 20 or 30 years which for Utrom would be a blink of an eye, but she could not risk causing Don a nervous breakdown. She had sounded a bit pathetic in that tale now that she thought about it, so maybe in that world she had not caught the Utrom's attention. And the words that had chilled Don… He toyed with us till the end. _And the guilt he had for that intromission because it had gotten all or most of them killed still weighted on Don's conscience._ Yes, the most logical solution would not go well with Don and, well, Raph's accusations stung. _"You know what that did to Mikey? To Don? To Father? Do you even have the slightest idea?"_ Well at least they would not become evil overlords would they?

But still, sudden disappearance would not be really… the Null time order tactics. In the real world, there were no such things as the happy endings that plagued the story tales for kids where the good always prevailed, for as hard as it was to recognize, there usually was no real black or white, just shades of grey, she had known that since childhood. She had accepted her place in the clan as tool without a question, and had tried her best to reach Master Splinter's expectations, living for their sake as the perfect shield and sword from the untold enemy she could feel they were being prepared to battle. But in the end, she had failed. "I did not want your training to be tainted by the poison of hatred." _Maybe that is were I failed,_ she self admonished. She always had been ready to die and to kill for it, for her life belonged to the clan the moment Splinter had chosen to take them under his wing, just as Karai's belonged to the Shredder. How blind she had been. She had no right to judge her despite that loyalty to a wrong cause is considered a perversion of honor: a shinobi was only a mere tool in service of the clan, right? There should be no greater honor than that? If that granted the others a chance of a somehow happy life, the better, she will give it all. That was why their "final suicidal attack" on the Foot HQ clashed with all she had been trained to do, for it confronted her conflicting duties: how would getting the whole clan killed in her master's plan solve anything? She had obeyed. Shell! She had even dragged along April, Casey, Honeycutt and LH! It only proved that their lives were less valuable than those of the human master Yoshi and the Utroms, in her master's point of view, because shouldn't Utroms be the ones responsible to solve their mess for they had the means and, all things considered, the responsibility. And it also showed how conceited master Splinter had become out of their very narrow previous wins and how he had decided to take master's Yoshi's mantle as a guardian, though none had asked him that, probably for, if she had a dream like that… Well, she would have blamed it on Mikey's pizza probably, though it had been her idea to blow the thing, probably from her emergent Slayer dark side, most likely not wanting to give the Shredder a second chance to persuade her after how he had basically kicked their shells in both exosuits, and, particularly with the Rylian terminator like type. Well… to tell the truth it had disconcerted her just as much as her first time in the battle Nexus Honor Hall with a huge déjà vu feeling. Something inside her, probably the Tao Te, I ching Philosopher in disguise brat had sort of hoped they would talk her out of it, it was too radical and too similar to the attitude the Shredder had taken regarding his former comrades. _I don't care if I die if I can take you with me_ and that he had been shown to survive those sorts of things before, more than once. As long as they remained alive they could have come with something else though. Yeah, the blood loss and the breathing difficulty had not been helping her judgment much as they failed to realize, they trusted her too much, she was a great actress. After all she was barely holding herself conscious out of sheer will power. _"A powerful empath able to sway others wills, untrained but talented."…_ "_Would it have revived Yoshi or Tang Shen?"_ The Ancient One had asked when confronted after he told the whole trio story to her as her mind refused to move past the point of failure. "Yoshi, that reckless child, that Splinta only remembers what he wishes, that not precisely model to follow." The Ancient One had laughed ironically: master Splinter had never mentioned Mashimi to them before, nor the Ancient one, nor Hamato Yoshi's disobedience to his master and clan. She wondered why. Probably master Splinter's memory was a bit faulty too. Well, considering he was a pet rat… Well, it was surprising how much he did remember of his former life. She had no recollection of the days in the pet-shop and her childhood memories were a bit off. "_Count blessin' Kumquat, you still all one piece._" Yes, but had she lost one of them for that… _vendetta?_ because there was no other way to describe it, and survived: Mikey, Donnie, Raph. The very ones she had been made to protect all her life. Yes, seppuku was the path appointed by Bushido as the only way to atone for her failure as she had let her master know when she awoke in the Utrom spaceship. Only to receive a hard slap from her distressed master's paw. The second time he had ever hit her. Apparently, she had almost died that day, she had awaken just in time for the trial and was a still weak, still the most injured one, the one with a visible scar actually. Had it not been for the prompt response from the Utrom medical team... Well…_ On the bright side, I would not be in this hassle, right? _

Raph tended to mark her as an idealist, mocking on how little the standards of bushido meant in the real world. They had been safe grounds, of sorts, a guide in this hectic reality, another façade; she knew what the real world was like, more than Raph probably imagined. She watched the news; she read a lot of history books and anything she got her hands on. Certainly some of those things had not even been age appropriate for her actually, for she had always considered herself the mature one. To know the world was quite different from the Comic books Mikey liked, where things were mostly clear and the good guys always, against all odds, won. Well, they sort of have been living in a comic book story until now, that had made them all a bit cocky. She never had that relief, She had felt the darkness and despair of the lost ones, she had been walking on a narrow line to maintain her control and sanity all her life, She controlled herself a lot for she knew that, unlike Raph, who was content with bashing some skulls, that, as had happened, if she gave in to anger completely, even once, well the term 'bloody rain' would apply. She sort of had chosen to be a sword. "Sometimes the sword kills, sometimes the sword gives life." It seems easy but in reality… Well: _"Warrior? Well, still an unfitting name as isn't it just a nice word for killer." _Swords, like guns, weren't toys. Unlike the other weapons, turning them into less lethal devices was a true prowess, for even in inexperienced hands, a sharp blade could be deathly. She was extremely conscious of this in all her group sparring, even a boken could cause a lot of harm. This was why control and guidance were vital to pull some restraint on her acts. She had seen how cruel and uncaring the humans could be despite the admiration master Splinter had for them, how harsh nature was, but should she give up as Ch'rell had? He who had declared himself above them and… Well… Everything else? Rejecting the universe in favor of being trapped on his own vision of how things should be.

_I've seen it all  
I've seen the dark  
I've seen the brightness  
In one little spark  
I've seen what I chose  
And I've seen what I need  
And that is enough  
To want more would be greed  
I've seen what I was  
And I know what I'll be  
I've seen it all  
There is no more to see_

_  
_But did rejecting reality achieve anything except bring misery to those around? Well, not that she could admonish anyone_. "Meditating problem away won't make them disappear. We just small sand grains in eternal desert that cannot even imagine the greater landscape…"_ The queen of delusion and escapism… Yes, the Ancient One always knew what to say, and, with just a glance he saw behind her façade and pretences. And he just saw the unworthy little confused hatchling she had always been, just as Ch'rell did. The difference was that the latter found it somehow intriguing. Too bad she had not been able to finish her training that first time, it would have helped. It had been the first time in her life she had been able to breathe since she could remember, she had felt some sort of peace and freedom she… It took her a long time to find out why. _"Your mind is completely untrained in that aspect, warrior, a wonder you have lasted this long. Only another empath would have understood…Sshe...had a lot of troubles with that too. _" She shook the thought away and the second… well. "_Ya think yourself better than yer brothers, ya think as good as Splinta._" Yes, she was indeed conceited. Splinter, her father and master… an enigma too in her eyes, she knew there was more to him that he had let them know. Her upbringing by Master Splinter's may not have been perfect, she admitted, but whose was? And he cared about them and, considering what she had seen in the streets, she everyday thanked the heavens for having such a loving father. She hated doing this to him… to them, Couldn't she be the reincarnation, or whatever, of something less flashy and treacherous? A cactus maybe, some common whatever… Completely unrelated to the clan's most dangerous… _"You were the ones who would not leave me and my organization alone, remember?"_

They were not interesting enough after all, in the Utrom's grand view. Actually, she had sort of wondered back then and been _guiltily flattered_ of, why he had been so interested in her: Raph was much stronger, Mikey was more athletic and would he focus enough, he would be a superb ninja. And Donnie… Well, he was Don. She was just her, the one always struggling to catch up with the others' talents. _"Maybe because I have plenty of those..." _Maybe this whole thing was in her mind. Yeah denial sounded just fine too! She had read somewhere that most of the cases that alleged reincarnations in the Asylums would claim to be reincarnations of important or famous former kings, queens or conquerors, to feed their ego probably. Yeah… Why settle for your average Bob the milkman, if you could pretend to be Julius Caesar? ... Megalomaniac tendencies, they both had them. _Well, am I, or any of us, supposed to be here at all?_ She wondered, as it seemed the whole universe was in a major conspiracy to wipe them out with their _turtle luck,_ as Raph described it. Her existence as a sentient being was the result of the Utroms, who were on Earth because of a suicidal Ch'rell, they were in NY because he had made them flee from Japan and were playing with substances with mutagenic properties for: _"undisclosed reasons? How is that different from my ill fated human enhancement program? At least, I actually used locals to help me. I have no answer for that, make your own conclusion, warrior."_As the Utrom had said. They had not even taken responsibility for LH, irresponsibly leaving him behind in an about-to-explode building, Even Mikey, with his short memory span had at least taken the time to take Klunk with him. They had not taken responsibility for their mutation either: they could have used their help while they grew up, but well… _"Do you honestly think they did not know you existed?" _She had never needed a real reason for their existence. They just did, and that had been enough for her: it's what you did, not where you came from that mattered in the long run. But for Donnie… By chance, an accident? A… How did Mikey call it? _You lowly mortals might be bugs! But I… The mighty Nexus champion, am a humongous glitch!_ What she would give for that sort of self confidence. Donatello had never really taken it well, he always had thought there was a higher plan, or something particularly, for she could see it in his eyes how he lusted the chance to remain with the Utroms to learn about the wonders of the Universe that was never even offered. Shell! Master Splinter knew it in his beware of what you wish. That proved how little he knew her and how well he knew the others, the one were Donnie ended as the brain behind the annoying Serling, after an ill fortuned accident in his Star trek like dream cruise, must have stung and had touched a sensible fiber in her, for she would have missed him, because Donnie would have loved to stay behind, she had seen it in his eyes that always look beyond, but if it made him happy… Yeah, their life's on Earth were so fulfilled and full of prospective for someone like Don… He would have been abandoning their sweet home sewer, fixing their stuff and making wonders out of the broken pieces they found, which they actually had to, due to the disgruntled and headless Foot that had taken their _"unprovoked"_ attack just fine, particularly as Karai and Chaplain had been basically released, since the Utrom human relations were not that clear. Therefore, apparently there had not been any real crime to prosecute by the very corrupt local authorities. Yes, cruising the galaxy instead of dealing with a maniac Alien and mutant hater with legal and military capabilities who had enlisted a maniac scientist, who had more lives than a cat and an obscene interest in seeing them in a dissection table…

She sighed. _What did the Utroms really think about them_? She would not entrust Don to them. Utroms, like the Tribunal, did not like surprises, or things that defied their overly ordered world, which was why Rylians were their natural enemies, a reminder of who they were, their ids running free, their former partners in crime, or rather chain mates… "Too much information for master Splinter, no doubt." To tell the truth, they had been sneakier than Ch'rell but she could not blame them though: they just had acted on their own species' interests' behalf, just as the humans acted in reality. Did they have any right to interfere? Since it seemed they owned their whole existence to Ch'rell's temper tantrums... Don had suggested it before being sharply cut by Raph. "Way too much information," would have said Mikey. Yeah! She had way too many information about their adversary now. Way too much. She probably knew him better than he knew himself now. Shell! She even sympathized with him. As the immortal Lincoln had said: "I don't like that… man? I must get to know him better." Not in all, of course! She had been in the trial after all, but his reasoning was quite logical or used to be at least, and facing the real reason why she had been sent out that second time … compared to some of the things she had seen in her time around the world… "When there is no enemy within, the enemies on the outside cannot hurt you." How true that was: The Shredder was by far not the worst of all. She was aware of the darkness that lurked around, but being confronted with it so directly, without the sheltering presence of her family…: the kids in the boat, the merciless killing of whales and wild life, the miserable preying on the miserable…Well… For, with the same measure you measure, it will be measured back to you; could a Slayer like her really pass judgment?

"The only completely consistent people are the deceased." But had he changed that much to throw away his life? He had been ready to die in the spaceship a thousand years ago, that was his slight miscalculation: against all odds, he had survived and on the building? How many times had he escaped now? There seemed to be major conspiracies to keep him alive and free. Well. Defending their own lives was an inherent right to all life forms, so… Was there a perfect solution? To whom did her loyalties belong?

She wondered in the twilight realm she was now. She felt as if she was floating. Being guided, hearing some distant calls, answering back automatically. Great! She was now pondering on the meaning of life… But then, shouldn't sacrificing herself involve a real sacrifice? She thought as she saw Don falling and she said out loud: "Not that one!" And then she felt pain and then all white, maybe the universe will correct the glitch by itself after all… It was fine wasn't it? as she felt herself go, and then feeling something foolishly holding her back with all its might. "DON'T LEAVE ME!"

There was apparently another great conspiracy on her, she thought amused.

_The true path to victory is to find your opponent's weakness and make him suffer for it. To take his strength and use it against him__ until he finally fails or quits. There are no accidents and knowledge is power and l__ife is change. Growth is optional. Choose wisely._ She recited as she let the whole memory spiral engulf her. But maybe she was not as ready as she felt the multiple thoughts, confusion, pain… _Too much_. She felt as if she was fading, pulled in all directions.

_Will the ghosts go away? -  
Will she will them to stay? -  
Either way, there's no way to win!_

But she found once again strength in that presence that had pull her back for reason she could not put in words. It feel like something primal ingrained in her hard to resist so, for now, she felt like being selfish, letting that comforting energy she had near her, embrace her. Yes, letting herself be selfish for now sounded just fine. She let herself go completely in the emotion until it stopped and she felt something cold that pushed her away. _"Guilt, confusion, pain… why?" _she thought, sadly letting that comforting energy go and then, she heard another voice calling her from the distance, as in a whisper that made her shiver with thrill and dread and she replied sadly and, no doubt, too tired and confused to put any fight. "You came for me?"

All I know is' I'm lost -  
And I'm counting the cost -  
My emotions are in a spin!  
I don't know who to blame...  
It's a crime and a shame!  
But it's true all the same  
It's a dangerous game!

* * *

"No, it is just… Wait. I mean…" The overly distressed time Mistress said, trying to persuade the Utrom. This definitely had not been in the manual.

"I am done waiting! I have waited enough and I see no point in this… whatever the outcome, I want that creature by my side that is all. Simple. I don't see the point of depriving myself from the things I want, that would be unreasonable!"

"But… You understand that… Well, this is a minor setback." The doubtful Time Mistress said. Nothing had gone according to any present plan, until now.

"This time is different: I have lost contact!" The Utrom yelled. "Completely. It was not a temporary thing as you said. Even a pathetic, half baked Time Mistress would understand that cannot be good."

_Y__ou've been so thoughtless  
I can see right through you  
you used to be there for me  
don't you leave, say goodbye  
cause' you have changed but so have I_

_guilty, guilty i feel so  
empty, empty you know how to make me feel_

* * *

"_What's this thing got? Some sort of mind control device in it? Because you are losing it Leo!" Raphael said snatching the sword. _

"_Hey! Give that back Raph!" _

Donnie remembered that fight as they rushed back to LH lair, having summoned the other 2 turtles, never before had it stung so deeply in his mind, the communication with LH had been cut short. "You did not see her immediately after that meeting, father. She was so _different!_ I had never seen her like that before until…." He said trying to get hold of LH again.

* * *

"You lie!!" Yoshi hissed in a low voice. "He who lives without honor will end without honor" he said losing consciousness.

The Utrom sighed annoyed. "This is a waste of time, finish him"…

"Denial?....I will finish you myself"

* * *

**Author's notes**

Hi, It's me again! this has turned into a sort of monthly thing, the larger the story the harder to wrap and piece not pulling something from my sleeve and finish it, not counting that 1.0 keeps getting in the way of writing.

Thanks again to Lady-Kassy for her continuous beta of this story.

Thanks to Nala162024, Leo's Katanas, deathoftoast, lady kae and dozer for their reviews they encourage me to continue. The last chapters have been basically from Don's memory POV trying to understand what had happened, and also a glance of things that were happening elsewhere action pack description sequences are troublesome for me so I recurred to memory glimpses instead to show what had happened; that is why it does not follow an strictly chronological order this is mainly from Leo's POV.

_The quotes are modifications from here an there  
_

_"Warrior is just a nice word for... killer!" Comes from Yukito Kishiro GUNM Last Order vol 4 used by a certain colonel Payne passerby incidental soul less filth cynical villain at his best who appeared alive for 4 pages at most and who chose to remain in the main character's psyche as a nuisance.  
_

_"The true path to victory is to find your opponent's weakness and make him suffer for it. To take his strength and use it against him__ until he finally fails or quits." I got it from Kung Fu panda but I am sure that comes from somewhere else in the the Tao Te Ching or a martial arts philosophy probably as the core for judo and some martial arts is to use the opponent's_ weight and momentum against him.

_"L__ife is change. Growth is optional. Choose wisely." Anon_

_Leo seems a bit doubtful in this but is not completely OOC I read somewhere in mirage canon something akin to "I am ready to die for him but I am not ready to give him my life" regarding continuing the vengeance against the Foot after the human Saki's demise and considering Yoshi was supposedly part of the Foot I guess it makes sense, and in Exodus Leo does question the infiltration for is really dangerous for them all something like "him leaving isn't...good?" of course he goes back to I support anything Splinter says but he is shown to have doubts about it.  
_

My arguments this chapter is heavily dependent on SAINW the must see 2003 series episode so If you haven't go watch it, The Damyo's sore loser son mixed with sore loser Drako come for revenge on Leonardo and Splinter and end up sending the turtles across creation and time. Raph ends in a race somewhere in a far place of the federation controlled galaxy, Mikey to an alternative super hero universe were Splinter is the Sliver the ultimate bad guy, Leo ironically is sent to Usagi's dimension (who said two minds work better than one) To Leo that was a vacation now sending him to were Don was sent that would have been different, Splinter did get imprisoned though. By the way Leonardo is shown doing some intriguing feats through the series that were never explained I mean handling the Tengu katana, that impressed the Shredder as an impossible feat, opening a portal after hearing his master chant once, the Damyo's staff and someone else's soul weapon so how trained is Leonardo exactly for those things and why since the others seem sort of clueless, he did better than Splinter actually save for Drako being on his way. Mikey and Raph held the time scepter but they had no control whatsoever (something that powerful just conveniently arrived in the hands of other villain this just shows how oblivious Renet is shown to be and that Lord Simultaneous is quite negligent too) . Well back to SAINW they cramped a series worth of story in one episode it was cool though a bit fragmented as in must watch, someone made a cool vid in youtube with danzai no hana song for that one, Don gets sent to a sort of future were the Shredder basically is the undisputed ruler of the world, no signs of justice Force members, the Tribunal (They were probably very busy guarding the original so screw the Earth) or any other opposing force, not even Bishop, one thing that intrigued me was that they mentioned to Don that he was an alien meaning the building incident never took place, and they probably never contacted the guardians either so I am pushing it to that the hunt for Leonardo's never happened either and Bishop just probably captured Don probably disposed of him and afterward the Shredder decided to crush the thorns on his side that had cross him enough times following a cold logic tough 30 years to leave Earth? when the Utroms already had a functional transmat by the time of Secret Origins? was he enjoying the view or what? A second thing is that why would the Utrom looked aged and why did his purple eye mark disappear, editing goof probably, on the others both human though Karai looked great for being on her 50ties and turtles I agree though they seemed to have aged differently that in the BTTS they were all the same height so yeah Leo got a growth spur afterwards, but for the Utrom after a millenia he suddenly deteriorated through a Rip van Winkle or Urashima Taro thing or what? it does not make sense to age him, it would be like aging a vampire. Another thing to consider is How does the heart of Tengu fit in the canon along with the mystics? is not really shown. I still can't let go how easily Leonardo was fooled that first time or how angry he must have been with Splinter's secrecy, OK lets phrased it like this: paranoid Leo willingly goes to a meeting with an suspicious force (yeah nothing beats an arrow to your head to improve the trust) without backup or letting Splinter or anyone know and breaks every ninja stealth rule showing himself undisguised and confirming that is was not a costume and later after a brief talk was advocating for said force to his brothers; so brainwash does come to mind.

A third thing is Ch'rell is drawn differently from the rest of the Utroms his color is different from others and has a crest like structure no other Utrom is shown to have, so though it was a probably a design thing for the series it does fit with the story as him not being completely Utrom doesn't it?

Well Thanks for keep reading and reviewing.


	54. Object of affection

All TMNT characters are copyrighted by Mirage studios and were created by Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird. White Night Fantasy by Nightwish and Phantom Sound & Vision record company. _Yoma Kazoe Uta by Sakashita Masatoshi_. Wind by Akeboshi and JVC Victor. Naturaleza muerta by Mecano and Sony International. Figlio Perduto well? I guess it goes to Sara Brightman, Wea International, Goethe and Beethoven that one has a convoluted story apparently.

* * *

"Trust me, I am like you… With me, you won't have to hide, you won't have to do anything you don't want to do, just focus on me… No doubts… No regrets... Power to change things and make the universe tremble! We make our own rules… We are truly free." The Utrom said.

_

* * *

The e__nchantress came to me and said:  
Meet me at the lake tonight_

* * *

**Object of Affection**

"Why had Leo kissed him and been so...?" Don shuddered at the memory of the brief despaired glance she had given him when he finally mustered the guts to push her away successfully. She was probably reacting to him as empaths sometimes did, he tried to convince himself, as Leatherhead had told him regarding why Utroms being innate empaths avoided non Utroms, why he had to stay behind, because it had been like the beginning of the feverish dreams he had had on the peak of Leo's season, right, even a private lake? Because she definitely was not ready for that. It was not what he wanted. Well, he did, but not like that. He wanted more than that, much more. He wanted …? He was not even longer sure of what he wanted. On one hand as hard as it was to recognize; he was still too attached to the mirage of the invulnerable Leonardo-niisan with whom he had grown up with, and usually leant on… And more often than not, abused. Not even getting with the whole family thing implications, regardless of their lack of a blood bond, they still were… family? On the other hand, this Leo the temptress which puberty had revealed was..? He was human....turtle after all, not made of ice cold logic like the Utroms, but still, their conduct was bound by human standards, right?… Well, it was hard though as their human role model seemed to have the same dilemma and well, it had ended... well, tragically. He gasped. But still her reaction had been…

"Right, who would you want me to be?" she had said releasing him and then looked at him teary eyed for an instant and then hugged herself, shivering and then collapsed on her front, trying in vain to pull her limbs and head to her shell in what he assumed would be the equivalent of a fetal position for turtles, going into a full close down before his very eyes from which she still had not come back..

She had been like that for while becoming even more uneasy if he tried to approach, less touch her. So he had resorted to trying to talk her.

He had been so clueless as he talked to her with his back on her. "Leo, it is not that I don't think you are… I mean…" he had said, trying to call her back and organize his thought. "You are… I mean, I am… I really do l... lov… I am an idiot but, I mean, I don't want to …hurt… Leo, I mean, you must understand that you are too important for me."

"You came for me?" She had hissed suddenly, standing up clumsily and putting some space between them. It was only later he saw the purple portal that had suddenly opened. At first, he had flinched at the bitterness of her tone, he had though she was spatting at him again as it had become customary lately and he was reluctant to face her until it hit him that she was not making sense and he turned just as she raised her voiced and he noticed how far from him she had walked. "Trust?… No doubts?… No regrets?... Change things? Own rules?… Free?! Things you don't even believe!… Do you even know the meaning of the word? You are nothing like me!! But…What does it matter right?" She had laughed sarcastically and started that song as a sort of countdown approaching steadily towards the ominous portal.

_ Hitotsu, Hitoyo no koi naraba  
(One,__ it's a love in one generation)  
Futatsu, Futari de jigoku e to  
(Two, the two of us go to Hell)  
Mittsu, Mina o koroshitemo  
(Three, even though we kill everybody)  
Yottsu, Yomi e no michi-shirube  
(Four, Signpost for the land of the dead)  
_

He had gotten up as fast as he could and ran towards her, but he had felt that chest tightness again it felt as if he was running in water, that thing had given a very bad gut feeling.

"Wait! Leo! Wake up!" He had screamed "Please! Wake up! Don't leave me please I... I love you!!"

The heaviness in the air suddenly cleared as Leo emitted a half hearted laugh, stopping. "Ai? Doko de sono kotoba wo kiita, Imi ga wakaranai. (Love? Where did I hear that word. It's meaning I don't understand) Watashitachi wa sono imi o nagai aida ni wasureta.… (We forgot it's meaning long time ago) Instinct, that is all," the hazel brown eyed turtle said, looking at the distance. "Aside from that, just another sword; just another word."

_Word?_

"Damn it, why is so hard for you to understand...? To me, you have always been home." The other replied and managed to tackle her down just in time.

"Donnie?" she had said finally with a childish tone. "Where are we? Do you hear it? I think it's calling me again, so sad, so haunting; just like that time in the temple…" The marks on her shone and her tone became less childish, her breathing hitching and she managed, between gasps. "You are much to kind Donnie, I don't deserve it, let's hope you don't regret it," and cuddling against him added, back in that childish tone, "Tired, breathing has been difficult lately." and then she had fallen asleep in his arms.

_

* * *

__ Crestfallen soul  
Rest for this night  
Love is here  
Right here under my wing_

* * *

It was ironic how peaceful the mighty warrior's face on the stretcher before him looked lying on her plastron, deeply sedated apparently. He had grown accustomed to her defiant glare after all, her comforting presence; he sighed. He had unintentionally grown too attached to this creature in their brief time together; funny looking really, if he thought it carefully, so why was it so..? Troublesome! _It would be so easy_, he thought, to simply carry and spirit the creature away, as he had considered at first, as he should have done… Relieved? To find out it was not in any immediate risk; though disappointed that her general aspect had not improved, nor had the general feeling around it, as he had hoped it would. What was about this creature? Why did he restraint? Well, he was quite used to take by force, not to wait. "Waiting is wasting for people like me."

There were certain substances he could use of course, certain quack annoying healer he could call; but he did not want just another puppet, after all he had plenty of those. Free will was such a fickle, yet precious thing, he thought, moving the blue laces to inspect the scar on the shell he had inflicted some years back. A deep wound, he thought with a chill, a lasting mark, though removing it with nanites would be quite easy yet, no doubt. But even if it would show his good will, he had felt reluctant, so easy to simply wipe the creature's memories and replace them, but he knew better not to meddle with another dragon's memories. Patience was an Utrom virtue he was quickly running out of regarding this affair. He did not even know why he was here after all. _Karai is probably wondering if I am under some sort of spell these days, so similar and yet so different._ He laughed. Maybe I am, after all. What was it he wanted exactly from this creature that now he did not dare fathom it?

He looked with contempt at the unconscious, paralyzed, crocodile mutant before him, who would not remember a thing. It would be rather easy to impose his will on him, no doubt, from his conditioning induced with a long interaction with Utroms, not so unlike the inconvenient guardian he had disposed of in a rage flare some years back. Empathy is such an annoying thing and that had been an event that had become a true nuisance really. Would the crocodile react the same if told the truth, he wondered, amused. Toying with the mind of other creatures could be fun sometimes, but he contained, he had promised after all. However, on the other hand, had he not done that…Well fate was odd indeed. So unlike the one he was currently tending, he though with disdain, that lowly creature was not worthy to be the one taking care, the wretched place was not fit either, it was too dark, damp, cramped and filthy. A turtle's habitat? No, this creature certainly had enjoyed his humble mountain retreat home, he was certain of that; so far from other sentient creatures' annoying presence.

"_Don't you have any regrets?" she had asked. _

"_Do you really__ have them or are you trying to convince yourself you should_?" he had replied. Why did he care about that? It had been centuries since he had really cared about another's opinion, save for public relations, as Karai called them.

"Regardless of what you think, I do keep my promises after all, warrior. I truly don't understand you, why do you do this to yourself? They are nothing like you, they don't deserve you… They aren't worthy of being in your presence, less of your attention. You are just confused. You know, unlike me, you would have made a fine Utrom, a mood balancer. That is why you try so hard probably. A great unintentional peace offering by those fools; and had someone like you been there back then, instead of their senseless preaches, I think I would have endured the council blabber and conflicting orders a bit longer. But only fools entertain themselves with absurd thought." He said as he carefully cut the laces of the blue bandanna and slid it away. "I remember telling you not to hide in my presence, truly reckless another unforeseen variable you have placed on the table now...." He continued, looking at the second bracelet and placed his hand over her forehead and then the bracelet he had given her, making her gasp. "You have the information now regarding that question. Why would I want another brawler mindless brute? I had Hun and many others before, they are dime a dozen. Would I want an acrobat, I could always go to the circus, you know? At least, they have some discipline and, though brilliant minds are hard to get, I have gotten two in this decade and many more you are not familiar with. They tend to make little noise. But someone like you… Once in millennia! You are more special than you allow yourself to think. Set a date and place and I will be glad to attend a spectacle to behold, no doubt… I am quite eager to hear your true voice again and maybe continue were we left last time; your mind is quite an interesting place after all, linking yourself like that was incredibly cunning. Unlinking so abruptly however, was incredibly foolish: you nearly killed us both, my dear. But I guess that was not completely unintentional on your part right? You do know that I am reasonable; so the deal still stands on the table; but my patience is running quite thin these days." And, with saying that, he set the bandanna on fire in his very hands.

"Time to go!" The time Mistress emphasized; draped in a cape, holding her staff.

"Osaraba da ore no taisetsuna Kaguya kono hoshi no mirai anata no ryo te ni motte imasu" he said finally, giving the arriving turtles paralyzed in the air a sarcastic sneer. (See you my precious Kaguya the future of this star is in your hands)

* * *

_ Y el mar murmura en su lenguaje (And the sea in its language mumbles)_

_ Maldito Pescador! __( Cursed fisherman)_

_ Despidete de ella no pienso compartir su corazón (Say goodbye to her, for I will not share her heart)_

* * *

Don shook his head, he could have sworn that, for a minute, there was someone else there, near Leo, but he could not remember who exactly it was. It was familiar but not in a comforting way and since everything had been so upside-down lately, that could not be good but… It was as though his mind was playing tricks on him.

Leatherhead gave him a concerned glare when he insisted.

"Donatello, do you feel all right?"

"You were not answering?" Don replied.

"Well, I guess there was some kind of interference or malfunction, my friend. I assure you everything is fine and has been for a while. No changes."

"What? Another panic attack, big brain? I honestly don't understand what…" Raph teased, the first time he had since their return. He could still remember the glare Raph had given him when the Daimyo finally managed to pull them from wherever they had been in that cave as he held the unconscious Leo in his arms. He could not identify it, nor had he really cared. He had had a strained relationship with Raphael for a long time. It had been a while since they saw eye to eye on anything that had been taken to the limit during Leo's multiple time outs in wherever she had been, they were too dissimilar. It was too much to ask really, though they could sometimes put away their differences regarding engines at which Raph had talent, Don reluctantly recognized; considering his Nightwatcher bike. Raphael approach was more technical than his. The hot head, who was so pragmatic that he did not care about the whys as long as it worked, which sometimes led to risky improvisations risks Don was not willing to take regarding the lair's security. He imagined that, had Raphael been human, he might have pursued a job, or a least a hobby, in a car or bike workshop. He could not imagine Raph attending college. He just was not cut for that, standing long hours in lectures, researching, it simply wasn't his style; like Mikey. It was not they were stupid or anything, as Don sometimes liked to think: _"Mikey talks, we don't call him intelligent!"_ The red clad was actually more street-smart than him, it was just he lacked the patience for it. He had even less than Mikey, that had been how the younger brother had scored to the finals of the Nexus after all, getting on the red clad's temper, He would have probably enjoyed that show had… he been able to… cursed Déjà vu! He thought, looking at the unconscious Leo. Leo! What would they do without her? He contained from rushing to her side; she had always acted as a sort of cushion between the three of them, forcing them to have activities together, making sure, even more than Splinter sometimes, that the lair was a sort of home for everyone: "Home? No… believe me, it is not." Except she, apparently, felt needed and appreciated, the first time had been hard, they must have looked really pathetic upon her return right? Raph and Splinter could not really brag about their leading skills either, but the second and the… third, had his father really not expected her return as she seemed to think? No, his father was as distressed as he was, he just showed it differently. Regarding Leo's condition, it was quite clear now how he had taken refugee on the soaps and probably why he had not tried to make things as though Leo was there during her prolonged absence.

During her absence; it had become quite clear that, aside from being turtles, the three remaining brothers had less in common he ever imagined. He had even daydreamed of asking April for permanent asylum on some days. You choose your friends, not your family after all. And usually, the males were bound to eventually leave the nest right? Well, for turtles, everyone left the nest though. As had happened in that nightmarish future vision universe or whatever it had been. Though, for four mutant not so teenage turtles like them, it had never seemed like a viable option: As children, he had actually envied them: Raphael's brawl, it still made him envious sometimes. How Mikey seemed to avoid punishment using his wit and charisma. And of Leo, of course. How she could stand and make them believe everything was fine, that even the most ludicrous plan had a shot. None of his brothers would have let get her hurt would they? He thought, remembering how Raph had stood between her and the shredder more than once, a prowess he could nod brag about, he thought, starting to notice something disturbing, as he noticed LH computer watch.

* * *

_ e oh padre  
Tu non hai visto  
Re degli elfi  
Eccolo la_

_This was __so freaking awkward!_ Raph thought, It was not that he had been avoiding everyone lately in favor of busting skulls solo, because talking to Casey did not seem like an option either, as little time as possible in the lair; it was just he felt so powerless watching Leo in that weird mental state, coming in and out of consciousness. It was as though Leo had disappeared. He had not fully processed Don's words in the Nexus. Leo a… girl? It was just so bizarre. Yeah, he still hoped this was a freaking nightmare from which he would wake up soon or something. Having been repelled from the blue clad turtle in the Nexus had hurt a lot. Because he was convinced it had been intentional on Leo's part, he thought, remembering Leo's cold glare as she waved her hand repelling him. _That glare!_ And lately, he had noticed how unsteady his mere presence made Leo, deterring him from approaching. Not that there was anyone there to approach. He had not been privy on the details and he really did not want to know the full details of Leo and Don's relationship, whatever that was, it was obvious there was one. Don had been the only one who had been able to approach back then and that thing the healers from the Nexus did. An anchoring bond? A reason to remain? If they were not close before, that definitely counted. He also could not help but feel guilty: every word he had said before now weighted like lead, and did Leo really think he would…. "So I guess I lost… Ugh! I am at your mercy then." Harm? Force to? It was so… "

"You said something about a deal Raph?" Don asked, still unable to completely let that mirage he had experienced go.

"Donatello!" Splinter interrupted. He did not want to continue a discussion in front of Leatherhead. Things were already too strained between his sons already. He felt so lost and confused and….guilty.

"I am talking to you Raph!" Don insisted.

Raph grunted. "Nothing. Some rumors about the Foot reaching some sort of deal with the blue demon, nothing specific. It is odd, ya know? During the whole time Fearless.... Leo was out… Well, they practically disappeared from city. Rumor was Karai had been ordered to pull back by some big wigs from Japan."

"And you did not mention it before because…?" Don continued.

"'Cus I don't believe a word about that. Rumors from stoned purple dragons and I did not want to stir thing further, but who knows? It is freaking obvious Fearless does not trust anyone but you right?" he snarled.

Splinter shivered. To be honest, he also felt something was not right, but he could not really tell what it was. And, remembering Karai's ominous words to Leonardo after the fight against the generals… How had he been so blind and stubborn? He had spent a lot of time in Leonardo's bedroom, trying to find answers in the previous days and was still shocked by the bleakness of the place, even though Leonardo had resided for at least 3 months there, it still felt as empty as when she was away. In a sense, it felt as though his son had not returned at all from that time, 2 years ago. But from that to believe that creature had been released again, or that his obedient child was to become…. The Ancient One had warned him. _Revenge does tend to bring unforeseen things, Splita-san_. The Daimyo's words had been anything but encouraging, as he finally found a way to retrieve Donatello and Leonardo. "The anchoring bond is a temporary solution, my friend. The seals on your child are taking their toll on her life energy, and I don't even take into account the weakening factor, since the time of my son's unforgivable actions. The poison he used was not completely countered. To tell the truth, it is a wonder she did not show signs before. But removing them might end up causing more harm. They had been on her too long. There is something else, though I am not entirely sure. It is against the rules of the nexus to interfere, but some traits remind me of these two former champions, dragon vessels. Dragons are forces of nature, my dear friend, incomprehensible creatures that sometimes descend on this dimension for unfanthomable reasons; those former champions… There, you seem to have so much aversion towards one who was a vessel for a yang one, unleashed over 10,000 year ago into your dimension by a power hungry race. They did pay for their insolence. Dragons are not intrinsically evil though, but they tend to be harbingers of change or destruction. They are intrinsically bound to the origin of the nexus. It is said that the Nexus was created in a dragon clash…. I guess it depends on how they are guided."

But still, his brilliant son was right, he had taken many decisions regarding Leonardo based on assumptions.

"It is not the student's place to say when a lesson has been learned." he had said firmly. "It is the student's place to listen and learn!" Had that been a wise choice, he now wondered, alienating his already alienated child. But had there been any other way? He knew Leonardo had not truly forgiven him for sending her away. But he could not deal with her out of control.

"But, Master, I don't want a new sensei." She had protested. "I'm happy here with you. I know there's so much more you can teach me." The following time Leonardo had not even argued back, as though she had just expected it. Should he have told her back then why, would anything have changed? Splinter shook his head. He knew what he was supposed to do as a master for the well being of the clan though but… "_I'd rather to it by your order or hand than by those Earth bound spirits_…_Shinkenshobu with the Foot_ _leader." What foot leader?_ An ominous thought regarding Leo's 5 week absence invaded him. "But it would be…"

His musings were interrupted by a concerned voice which said "Hi Splinta-san, how ya doing?"

* * *

**Author's notes**

I still live and haven't given up. Sorry for the long wait.

Thanks again to Lady-Kassy for her continuous support and beta to this story.

Special thanks to carmonator for his very extensive review, deathoftoast I always enjoy your reviews: the image of Bishop twiddling his thumbs made me laugh yeah were was he?, Dozer the short circuit idea is good it brought me back to my original texts before chapter 20. Lady Kae poetry? Wow I am flattered hopefully next chapter will have more action bear with me some health issues lately: possibly undergoing surgery soon, got the flu, regular variety no fever but still, so inspiration and time have not been at it's fullest I even got a dreadful mockbuster of Terminator by accident! and nearly lost choosing privileges, I blame it entirely on the flu and intentional deceptive placing by the local blockbuster.

The original text was double spaced and neatly aligned, however whenever I click save, it seems the spacing and alignment go haywire repeatedly, the verses refused to be centered even manually, so if anyone knows how to fix it let me know.

Karai´s words at the end of movie do stir some doubts everyone seem oblivious to in the movie, because there is only one way to interpret it those past things that will haunt back, unfortunately it would not be solved since the future movie will apparently retell the original one, and I am not altogether sure which TMNT universe it follows though having read finally the premovie comics (Leo's is pretty bloody isn't it? not precisely PG) they do fit in the 2003 time line including the Lost season due to the appearance of the Ancient One and the Tribunal, still have no idea of the medallion meaning. Pushing it a bit could include the FF but definitely not the BttS the height difference and Karai being invited to April's wedding was too much.

Now addressing a plot hole I will be using: why did the Utrom Shredder killed Hamato Yoshi personally? To the series continuity it might not mean much but I mean in the comic it was a revenge of sorts for Nagi, in the old series rivalry and did not actually kill him but in the 2003 series? did he need to prove something? Yeah you invaded my complex now you die! might be a valid reason; but my bet is he would have obtained any information he desired from him with more time he has some practice after all, a rage flare is the only explanation I could come up with because is not that clear on the series.

Dragons in European and semitic lore are evil yes Saint George slain one according to legend, though I loved the Dragon Heart version of dragon's more, but in Chinese and Japanese lore they are more like wise creatures related to forces of nature, which cannot be seen entirely as friend or foe but rather they have their own interest. In the series I was intrigued on one hand they were surprised (or jealous?) that Leo had a dragon avatar, but then again the Tengu looked like one, as well as the one who tried to freed the original and the original Saki had one, and they apparently acquire their own to battle their former comrade and at the end all the turtles end up with dragon avatars so they used the concept rather randomly.

Thanks for reading and reviewing I do read all of them.


	55. Picture Perfect

All TMNT characters are now copyrighted by Nickelodeon (Viacom) and were created by Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird. Le Prince Bleu, RoBERT and Majandra Delfino and Ange et Demón by RoBERT and DEA, Torrianse Japanese folk song, Poor unfortunate souls (Jonas bros version) by Alan Menken and Walt Disney Records, Ghost love score, Kinslayer, Live to tell the tale, Where were you last night by Nightwish and Phantom Sound & Vision record company.

* * *

De mon jeune âge  
Il reviendra  
Sur son fier alezan  
Le Prince Bleu  
De mes six ans

* * *

**PICTURE PERFECT**

Being the extremely talented body language and emotion reader he was, something that had allowed him to survive his motley family: dealing with Raph's uncontrollable character without getting killed, make Don stop whatever he was doing to fix his toys, evade punishment… Well, it was always a fifty/fifty chances if he could make master Splinter laugh, and, well, guilt Leo to go easy on him and help him when he got in trouble or accompany him on the movie marathons or_.. Mental pause. Boy, he truly was the selfish turtle Don had accused him of being… But, well, that know- it-all turtle was even worse hogging all of Leo's attention and on his behalf. _He had paid… _in blood! _for Don's could not be used for the whole mutation thing and the genius could not or would not use Raph's he had barely agreed to his after LH insistence after all; and lately, he had not done it much and he had given Leo the space Leo needed desperately, something his two brothers never seem to understand. Like Raph, always cornering Leo, even though he was fully aware that, whatever Leo had going on, was way beyond their scope, though the "I am just a weapon, Mike, don't concern yourself about me…" argument some days back had been scary, but what could he do? Leo probably wanted to resolve whatever it was on his.... Leo's own... He hoped. It took Michelangelo a second to identify a brief glimpse of something he had never expected to see in his father: dread! Absolute dread and maybe some shock at the old man's appearance which was obviously creepy for not even the creepiest evil villains they had fought had managed to get that from him. And to make it worse, that same dread was being mirrored by Donatello, who had rapidly stood with a swiftness nobody suspected he possessed and was now between them and the unconscious Leo, in a badly concealed protective, geeky, chivalrous gesture he had seen Don adopt much lately regarding the blue clad turtle. _That would irk the shell of said turtle, if said turtle was fully awake by the way… _while casting an intrigued, if not accusing glare at his father, which had been rather common too and would also get on the blue clad's nerves with the hierarchy order thingy. Say whatever you want about Leo and Leo won't budge but say something about sensei in his presence and… Well, he and Raph had the bruises from extra training to confirm it. The orange clad sighed. He still was not completely sure what had been going on, given the talkative mood in the lair and he had not dared theorized given his overactive imagination and "What will be, will be" life policy which made his life easy, but sometimes, _like right now,_ he absolutely hated the clan's ninja policy of 'Don't ask, don't tell'; which was probably very ninja and had probably a shell of a good justification but also had gotten them in a fair amount of trouble, if he thought it carefully, and probably had made Leonardo the secretive…paranoid turtle-batman-like turtle he…she…whatever… was.

It did not matter much to him, _really_, as if he had a shot, he had seen that kiss after all and the odd way Leo behaved in that confused mental state like a Gery's? Gris? Genstal? Whatever psychological complicated term breakdown thing Don had talked about, not fully explaining, as he now doubted even Don or Splinter really knew what was going on with all the weird things Leo had done that day. And had he been missing the cool force lessons or something? He wondered. And why did Leo act so weird lately, in that nobody home fashion? Or, why would she cling only to Don like dear life? But _Leo was Leo! The Leonardo after all, right? The unreachable, almost indestructible, valiant hero in their games, who always had a purpose and could face the meanest things in this universe and will come back....eventually_.

Of course, it had hurt not to be part of Leo's tiny if not personal circle of trust, but, well, he trusted Leo's judgment as much as he trusted his father's, perhaps even more, always had. Leo's first directive was to keep _them_ safe after all, unless he....she... Leo got the sensei's permission first, like that time in the spaceship: he knew that very well and he had no lied to Leo about it, it was a sort of basis of the family; though sometimes it was very difficult to see through it, as it happen when Leo helped that witch Karai, talking about long term preventive measures; he was almost certain Leo had some cool abilities hidden that enable him... her to see the future and know what to do exactly to take them out of harm's way in extreme situations. Like when they were trapped in a triceraton airless cargo ship and he had cool the mood enough to drive them into deep meditation. Being the cool turtle he was; he also had the mystic mumbo jumbo touch, of course. But, being completely honest, it had always scared the living day lights out of him and basically, ignored it as much as he could. That was probably the reason master Splinter had all but tell him he had given up on him learning proper control. Besides, most of the times, the visions were way to weird to make something useful out of them, though sometime like now, it would be nice to have a hint. However, like the ghost seeing kid from the movie, that was a talent he did not envy or wish to anyone. He had had enough life scarring visions and dreams in his short life already, like the tentacle Kraken, Leo and the dark Splinter counterpart… A story which had gained him an enigmatic glare as well as some odd remarks from Leo when he finally described those superhero doubles as well as their super villainous former master. After a week of nightmares, he still blamed on a week old slice of pizza that had looked too tempting to let it go to waste. Old habits die hard, especially in someone who had grown up scavenging food. That had practically driven him to Leo's bed at 3 am 3 days in a row, to make the shadows dissipate as Leo veiled his sleep seated by his side, something he usually did after nightmares, for Leo would no tease him like Raph, nor dismiss it like Don as illogical upset and that he was distracting him from whatever fabulous ultra cool device he had been working on or make him try to find some deeper meaning like master Splinter. Something that now would probably no longer be appropriated or tolerated, he realized sadly, starting to get anxious as he finally let the whole implications hit him. Would he have to face Don and Raph's wrath, should he attempt so much as talk to her from now on? Less scary thoughts. He was almost certain the future clones showed certain aspects of his family he did not wish to see: Raph's brutality, Don's extremely cold and calculating mind, his…. Though, honestly, the only clone that had a remote resemblance to the original was the blue clad one: purposeful and extremely calculating. But it was all blue and had way more muscle than the turtle he had grown up with, which would support Don's claims that his arguments were rubbish regarding Leo's gender change theory, due to the obvious lack of female common sense attributes or hints: like boobs or long hair or hair, or a pink ribbon bandanna, or a bow at least.

Come on; one does not go through life asking or finding about your relatives, friends and acquaintances nether regions if you value the integrity of yours. April certainly had not been keen on talking about her PMS or the details of her relation with Casey certainly as he painfully found out by accident. Who could have told April was such a good marksman… woman with her mobile? Ouch!, As a certain genius must have been doing to notice such an obvious thing apparently and that had gotten him the closest he had been of being hit by Don outside of battle, had his father not intervened when he teased him about it.

"Yes and you want me to believe you just found by chance while you were doing what exactly?" Come on, how could he had known? Don acted as though they should have been able to tell too, but this whole thing was like the whole Jurassic Park nightmare mixed with a reality or talk show. Actually they could probably audition for one now: T_he mutant bachelorette or You think you know your family? think again Dude_. Things were so bizarre. And, as thing were, he would no be surprised if little turtles suddenly pop up and started running around the lair, stripping him of his cute smallest title to confirm Raph's accusations on Don to complete the picture.

Speaking of which, he had already claimed godfather, naming rights before he was outrun again. _One had to be prepared after all._ And that had finally earned him a solid hit from Raph, urging him to shut up before his father stopped him. There just had been not way to know, like with that Chinese gal from the movie or the kid from Pitch Black. And even if there had been, they were talking about Leo, after all. He did not envy Don's position. _Well, maybe a bit…_ Leo was….? It was difficult. Leo had always been a difficult turtle; but _that sneaky guy was cursed mental images from too much TV shows_. Leo seemed to have chosen him again right? He still remembered Leo's attitude when Don got turned into that freaky totally uncool monster Don, speaking of Leo acting OOC he…she…whatever had not even hesitated to request permission from Splinter to negotiate with the devil, aka Mean incredibly bad evil doer MIB Bishop, but it was not really new. Leo had always stood for Don when they were younger, being the weakest link battle wise, as Raph used to tease when they were younger, always making him the helpless victim or citizen in superhero slang, never making fun of him whenever Don messed up the katas, which was quite common in the beginning, or his weapon of choice or... _Yeah, he was a mean dude,_ _but in a fun way_. He self defended himself. Always standing up for Don and he would be a heartless bastard to get in-between, though it sucked and, of course, he felt excluded and awkward too. But, on the other hand, the only other turtles they had met were those lousy future clones made by Cody's creepy uncle. _And his was yellow… How did a turtle get yellow anyway? Or red or….What color was Don's again?_

Well, back to his insight…. Leo was a cool purposeful dude… _Dudette? _Ah! It just… did not fit, and Leo would probably get him if she ever heard him calling her like that, which would be totally scary for he had seen Leo on scary interrogatory mood occasionally and that turtle could truly mess with someone's head big time. Speaking of which… _Had Splinter's two model children been fooling around? Ouch! _The bump he received from his father's cane still hurt and, well, he was now convinced that educational nature shows were not good for his mental health: too many mind scarring images. Sci-fi and fiction on the other hand never failed him for, and he had made the case before Leo after all, for them it was more like guidelines. He had proven his point more than once: What were the odds of meeting and, more often than not, fighting aliens, superhuman or beings, mystical beings and being sent back a forth in time in one lifetime? Let alone being cool mutated and ninja turtles. Certainly no degree of college or university could prepare them for all the ordeals they had gone through. They were too awesome for college after all. Besides, they did not include the much needed 'Superhero 101' or 'Things to know to fight evil, or identify evil overlords before they attack you in your sleep' as subjects or majors in any university, not even by mail ones and those had everything. He had checked when he joined the force and he had taken a few courses on drawing after all!

But he had experience on this and though his gut instinct was not that great, he knew through his role-playing experiences that the sudden appearance of the old sages was always suspicious: they could always be supplanted after all and although in those games, at the end of the game, one should have done what the sage said but… He trusted Leo. He needed to and, well, he was certain that Leo, like batman, always had a higher purpose with all this and this… It had worked until now, save for some Leo's super solo hero stunts, like when they stopped him in the remains of the Foot's HQ during the whole city at war thing. _`And they call me reckless!´_ And of course his… her misguided but promptly corrected character judgments regarding the Foot, which had been completely out of character for Leo too… It had been odd, but, well, that alien must have had plenty of mental tricks under his alien tentacles…again ugh! Creepy... Whatever, not a good image. There was one thing for certain, of course, as he remembered the heartbreaking image of his father singing in Leo's room one lullaby he used to sing to them. Unable to approach Leo either without causing Leo to become extremely agitated;

iki wa yoi yoi, kaeri wa kowai going is easy, coming back is scary

kowainagara even though it's scary

torrianse, torrianse go down the path, go down the path

like Raph…

That must have hurt considering how wasted he had returned the previous night. He should be thankful that Leo was no longer jumping around the lair like the hyperactive child high on sugar they all accused him of being, as Leo had before Don arrived. _Who could have told Leo had it all serious looking_ _and all sneaky ninja technique…_ Though, thinking backwards, those incredible stunts Leo did without a word, sometimes briefly looking at their faces for…? Which were usually interrupted by him joking or Raph's show off accusations. Well, that incident still got him suspicious glares from Don despite Leo's attitude to Don being overly suspicious. But lately… he got… nothing. But Damn! He wished he could ease Leo too, at least a bit like Don did.

Bottom line he missed overprotective bossy mother hen Leo, he missed feeling protected by Leo's huge adamantium, now a bit cracked, shield. He hated not being able to lay back a bit. Leo…the normal Leo, would have done something to ease him, like when they were transported half across the galaxy unsure of their father's whereabouts, because Leo, the real Leo, not that sneaky silent deceiving smile mostly unconscious child impostor they had now would do something. But that was not his reality and the turtle titan was a hero too and, regardless of whatever other oddity the universe threw at them, they would get Leo back; like at the monster terrifying; nefarious evil tower some months ago. They were family and; no matter how scary, ancient; mighty and overly powerful... better not think about it. That Shredder dude statue gave him the creeps and that creepy villain being a past champion even more because that made him part of a selected cool group that included the original tin head. How much worse could it get? Creepy villain must have cheated he concluded: He might be a chicken hearted turtle, as Raph said, but this was a mutant ninja turtle chicken that old man, or anyone, should be wary of if they attempted anything against Leo, he thought, ready to divert the old man's attention from Don, Splinter and Leo.

* * *

I admit that in the past I've been a nasty  
They weren't kidding when they called me kinda strange  
But you'll find that nowadays  
I've mended all my ways  
Repented, seen the light, and made a change

Karai poured another fill of warm sake in her cup. Drinking unaccompanied was definitely unbecoming but… lately all the things she had come to accept as facts had taken a deep dive which baffled her beyond belief and sake was the only thing she had at hand as she certainly could not discuss any of her doubts with, well, anyone without appearing even more… treacherous.

She had hoped her Lord would at least object to her choice in company, meaning Chaplain, but his lack of interest in the matter or in anything else that did not involve certain blue bandanna creature that had him swooned?… obsessed?…whatever, not a nice image. She could almost feel sorry for the creature… But well, remembering Leonardo's steel taunting her neck and the week she had spent crossing her fingers, trying to find his whereabouts only to end 2 days unconscious when she went to capture it, not really, but it was sort of disappointing if not deeply disturbing. Though the alternative would have been bad, being on his bad side was never good news for anyone as that stubborn scientist had found out. That turtle had been extremely lucky.

She emptied the cup in one gulp. She was perfectly aware that without her alien father reminding her in his untold "I told you so, expect the worse and you won't miss," that the red headed scientist by product of one of the organization's scholarships truly belonged to a different world, a much brighter one and that such relationship was bound to be doomed when she got tired of it as she had before. It was not the first time she had been in a relationship after all; but still, she had not and she hoped she wouldn't, at least not soon. It was nice to feel cherished and have someone who would not panic at family reunions. She grinned, after all, even if she knew it would be short-lived, she accepted it, that was not bothering her right now.

The turtle was. She sighed, reluctant to admit that she was truly jealous of the attention the turtle got, something she had strove all her life to achieve, which was truly disturbing; she had come to terms that, since her adoption into the Foot clan, the alien had been the only figure of authority she had respected. Whether she had been manipulated or not was irrelevant. She had no attachment to the samurai biological family that forsook the pathetic little half blood Kyoko, nor to the ill intended people who approached her afterward. She was fully aware of the sort of fate that would have awaited her had she not met her alien surrogate parent. Too rebellious and proud for an orphanage or foster home, of course, but by that time he found her, she would had almost given anything for some food, for someone who cared just a bit. Streets were a harsh place for children, regardless of the place and he had earned her trust as she had earned his, "for claiming to being sentient and the whole center of the universe thing, despite your fleeting pathetic lives; your species has baffling nurturing policies regarding your young and, well each other, which have always been convenient and not only for me.'

And I fortunately know a little secret  
It's a talent that I always have possessed  
And dear lady, please don't laugh  
I use it on behalf  
Of the miserable, the lonely, and depressed (pathetic)

But at least before they were honest about it, he had said giving her a copy of Machiavelli's Prince.

"Nowadays, your kind is more concerned on superfluous matters, like quarterly sportive… events, than of any of the social problems it seems. So I will keep the Ryuashi donations to more tangible things like… Art." The turtles were truly blind and ignorant in that aspect, OK, they would qualify as yakuza in Japan too; but there was much more to the Ryuashi clan and their Ashigaru…Foot soldiers…Foot as it unfortunately ended. "I am with Foot." she remembered saying once as she stroll the city to evaluate the situation during the city at war as the media call it. "You can be the ankle for all I care darling," someone no longer among the living had said.

It was a very ancient organization with a centennial history under many names, though they would not show it as much in the U.S. branch of course, the philanthropic façade covering the weapon dealings and other illegal operations of the Oroku's, was still mostly untarnished after all: they had reconstructed the city… twice, haven't they?

They come flocking to me crying  
"Will you help us, pretty please?"  
And I help them!  
Yes I do!

It was amazing how differently the NY branch worked compared to the others, probably due to that rabble Hun's and Stockman's bad influence. That lack of discipline going unpunished was unheard of. So what if the head of clan was alien? What difference did it make? And it was openly despised by the other ones as weak, unruly and a sort of pet project of the Shredder and, closing the lose ends there and getting information had been a sort of atonement task for her as that Winters fellow had remarked being an old acquaintance of her father since who knew when. She was almost certain she had seen him once, in Japan probably, on some sort of business errand. Yet she did not dare ask him.

The Utrom kept a lot of things to himself, it was a fact he had never hidden. She understood and accepted it as all full fledged high ranking member of the clan; who knew, ironically had the turtles been human, given their precarious upbringing, some of them, the one in red… Raphael was his name… in particular might have ended as Foot. No the Foot had no place for unruly, insubordinated people like that… Usually, she thought, remembering the first time she had met the turtles.

"Don't do me any favors Raph…" as she had her blade against Leonardo's neck. No, more likely purple dragon or the other rabble material like many others. She wondered how that turtle managed to fight with such a team and win, considering what she had seen through their brief… points of accordance.

"A true warrior, a born leader" would have said her father. Probably the sort of companionship he would expect her to keep and had he been human who knew…She would not have met him at all probably. It was only lately she had been faced with the fact she had been fighting children, which made their past defeats even more humiliating, so unlike… she sighed. But it would make her life easier, her precarious position before the other powers in the Foot proved it again: they had never really expected her to become a successor after all, since their leader was almost immortal, at least in human terms and that those issues would no doubt return the minute the Utrom left and of that she was certain: he had no intention of staying permanently. He had important business to attend elsewhere after all.

"Do not get fooled, Karai-chan. Attachments are nothing but weaknesses." He had said, urging her to get over the loss of her gold fish at age 10. Thinking about it, he had never told her why he had formally adopted her and raised her instead of just recruiting and leaving her in the care of tutors as was the common norm. Just another soldier recruited early whose names and progress he kept tabs on. He did not do things out of whim usually. "You humans all look the same to me." He always talked about fate and would qualify as a fatalist: he truly believed everything was preordained and she had come to believe it too. It still startled the old high ranking members that he would allow her to call him father. She had not been the first ward through the years he had taken, though he never addressed them; Utroms… Well, her father, at least, did not speak of the gone ones as though it was taboo.

"I have no concern or pity for the weak or fallen." yet he had sent Hun to her rescue from Bishop…. in an unprecedented gesture which supported the turtle's word. "He does care about you..." and later, clipping Bishop funding, pulling the right strings in his huge power cobweb, yet no interfering directly during the Triceraton invasion, waiting for opportunities to arise, as though he knew it was a minor event that would come to pass. It was always an enigma what would make him move but he usually knew what he was doing as she evoked the classical senryu (poem) about the unification generals she had learned at school, he could act like any of them and he had actually met them too.

_Nakanunara, koroshiteshimae, hototogisu_ (If the cuckoo does not sing, kill it.)

_Nakanunara, nakashitemiseyou, hototogisu_ (If the cuckoo does not sing, coax it.)

_Nakanunara, nakumadematou, hototogisu_ (If the cuckoo does not sing, wait for it.)

He was a great strategist so why…. was he acting so unreasonable? As strict and unconventional her upbringing had been; yes banned films like shogun assassin would not be considered educational material for grade school usually; she had no complains and she had chosen to be oblivious and not question some disturbing aspects in his behavior regarding his own race. "There is no possible point of accordance with any of them, Karai, so never bring it up again." He truly despised them, though he would always evade the reason. "Utrom open season again my Lord?" the four elderly Ryuashi generals joked, the same ones who would have had her head had they heard about what had happened in the Spaceship. Regardless of his bizarre unusual attitude, the Ryuashi placed loyalty to the Kizassha Tengu, or Shredder, as they called him, as the highest virtue. And who was she to question his motives?

An errant soul, homeless and foul  
All gone but the will to  
Live to tell the tale

She was not precisely pleased to learn about her father, and master's, many misdeeds across the galaxy, though she had always suspected something like that, particularly after the anti-gravity device issue, but well, until the Spaceship, it had never really concerned her personally. It had been the turtles' fault after all. She was amazed how those…that creature managed to get him that annoyed, to even raise his blades to her. That had completely startled her: he had been a strict parent but, at least to her, he had been fair. Despite being trained from childhood, it had been her decision to become more than an ornament to the clan.

"Reluctant troops are useless." And here he was, trying to force the turtle to his side? She would have understood if he had returned to eradicate them, she could understand anger and revenge but this was… She _hoped_ there was a perfectly logical reason she would one day figure out.

She remembered the unusual conversation he had held some years back with her as she reported from Japan. Intrigued about his prolonged absence to solve some issues, the NY branch seemed to be having regarding the retrieval of certain artifact that had been stolen from the one of the manors during the turbulent period of the Meiji restoration, and had somehow ended in a private collection in the U.S. He could have simply paid for it, but it was a matter of principles. "I see no reason not to take back something that is mine to begin with, things I have lost track of through the years."

I have lost the path before me  
The one behind will lead me

"I met someone interesting." He had said not elaborating further, sounding unusually interested in the last video conversation they had held before he became completely inaccessible and later heard on the news of the New York Foot building incident covered as a fire accident. He had been in such foul mood when he arrived and she had not dared question him about the damage his exosuit presented as he hastily retreated to his mountain home for a week. Whatever had happened had upset him deeply and had made him even more determined to finally end with the Utroms, as though he had finally remembered why he was angry with them to begin with. He had returned to N.Y. taking with him a dangerous technorganic virus he had discarded some years ago as unnecessarily unstable in which he had been working on by himself, refusing any sort of help, just as briskly as he had arrived.

"Time to die, poor mates. You made me what I am!"

Little she knew that 'that interesting one' would turn to be a major headache to the Foot, their leader started to behave increasingly erratically as the reports from the Elite showed; regarding those meddling creatures, sternly refusing to let the matter on someone else's hands. Though refusing to addressed it with the extreme prejudice needed, as she had done albeit unsuccessfully afterward, wondering why it had not been done earlier. He was not known for his carelessness or mercy, nor was she, but she had heard he too had sort of spared the turtle more than once. Those creatures were truly blessed or protected by the Shichifukujin (Japanese luck Gods) apparently and Leonardo by Bishamonten or Hachiman himself, a line of thought that would probably make the Utrom laugh with his "I make my own luck" policy. As she tried to address his miraculous survival using probably his rarely displayed magical….mystical? talents, due to the apparent toll on him, they apparently took that had left him out for moths in the regeneration chamber, probably wondering what had happened,

A single grain can tip the scale  
Amidst the burden the scale will prevail

Nobody truly knew and the rebellious Foot U.S. faction in a power struggle due to the vacuum created by his disappearance and presumed demise with only her to fix it. He had never really talk to her much about those abilities. Though she knew he had been a bit disappointed at her limitation at them, aside from the basics of subduing the Mystics, a task he had done for centuries and in which she had failed miserably, thanks to the turtles. The will power required to subdue those monsters and keep the darkness at bay was…

She sighed relieved, he had taken the Utrom's flee rather well too, but his time in the regeneration chamber had made him more…_Utrom like_? Probably, regarding his new project and her torn, regarding his decisions in order to achieve it, which probably was why she too had spared the turtles more than once, as a sort of safe guard in that 'who is in whose debt' dance they had played. He was becoming too threatening.

She had been almost treacherously relieved when he finally made his departure plans clear and also she had been extremely let down by the fact that she would be left behind. She was not good enough to help him in his other worlds' campaign after all. She had not heard of his other worldly and apparently powerful allies until the day of the spaceship in which they all almost died, missing a perfect opportunity to end it all once and for all. Of course, she had not expected them to barge in like that, after all, when she had let them go hoping to end with the hostilities. Nor did she expect to join forces with them again, after her tutor's exile but with the Tengu unleashed, she had had no choice, she though instinctively taking her hand to the huge scar on her otherwise perfect abdomen skin. She did not miss the nightmares and unease which had remained ironically until she tried to capture the turtle, the seiki (blue demon) Leonardo. That last time the creature had seen almost determined to exterminate her, yet here she was, adding to the absurdity of the situation. She had been unconscious for two days, by the way, awakening to her master's stern glare, the same he had given her when he learned of her taking the Kizaissha's mantle. And now, all this contradictory orders… And the intriguing information she had discreetly managed to gather regarding the creature's time of captivity and, more important, the disquieting behavior of her father lately, which ranged from almost contrite to enraged since Leonardo's unexpected release? After all the trouble she had been ordered for the turtle to be taken back to NY in a Foot plane! It had been the longest stare duel in history probably. The Utrom had been almost happy? She really could not tell, in the previous days so..?

Why did I tell you to go  
saving my pride but losing my soul

If she did not know better, she would say the turtle had bewitched him, not forgetting that funny human looking advisor, ally … She did not trusted _that woman_ clothed in blue. She finished the third cup and breathed deeply, yearning for the childhood years in which her future duties were intriguing things far away, things were clear cut and she could sleep undisturbed in the Oroku manor in Japan, assured that she had nothing to fear for her father was scarier than anything out there.

* * *

Crois-tu que je suis ange... ou démon? C'est mon secret.

_

* * *

"You heartless monster! Have you no compassion for th__ose who would sacrifice their lives for you? You are no better than the snarling wretches who serve the evil one."_

Splinter felt as though he had just received a bucket of cold water, which was something all rodents and, well, probably all creatures' non designed for it, like penguins and maybe polar bears, dreaded. Never before had he felt so lost on what to do, as he looked at his purple clad son, who was giving the old sage a cautious glare, he had only seen in him in the rare occasions his peace loving son got serious in battle. While sending him an accusing glare, his full body tense, it sort of reminded him of Raphael, but fortunately, he could trust Donatello not to snap at the old man. His genius son might be many thing but rash was not one of them.

He was grateful when Michelangelo, his jokester but perceptive son hogged the attention pulling a prank on Raphael, his strong and brave, but not very perceptive son, distracting their attention, giving him a minute to collect himself. He had told his sons many contradicting things about the Tribunal for them to trust them after all and the tribunal had done nothing to refute them, with their great disappearance act as Michelangelo had so wittily described. "Learn what you can, but remember, they will not hesitate to sacrifice you if it serves their purpose…" He had told them before the injured Leonardo whom the tribunal had so lightly discarded.

Right now, he did not know where he stood exactly with the old man. Not after his son… daughter's return. He too needed time to fully assemble the pieces, time he did not have.

He breathed deeply before turning.

"Ancient One!" Splinter said in a collected tone sounding welcoming. "What a great honor your… "

"No time formalities, Yoshi-san, were is da Kumquat? I need speak with him I have message."

* * *

**Author's note**

Hi! is been a while and I have a good excuse turns out I did undergo a surgical procedure it hurt for a while, been extremely busy, but I am back now and hopefully will get the story going and will finish the story eventually I can't bring myself to make a rushed ending out of my sleeve for it would haunt me forever.

Thanks again to Lady Kassy for her beta.

Thanks to Death of toast and Kristin for their reviews and Bluemoon umbreon and Happy stalker ball I don't know if you got this far though.

This chapter was hard but it sort of nag me for a while, yes this two also wanted the spotlight having been mostly neglected and not only by me as my editor (beta) noted.

After mostly disappearing or being neglected during the last two seasons Karai made a reappearance in Turtles Forever I cannot entirely qualify as in character though yes the Utrom was in a dangerous destructive fit again and somebody had to stop him and who better than the two old series comic relief buffoons, and I had completely forgotten the robosoldiers had an actual footprint mark LOL (that nostalgia effect crashes oddly when confronted). Loved the quote: Krang "You are not the only one with a super sizing suit!" Ch'rell: "No, but mine actually works. " I wonder where were those script writers in the last two seasons. I am taking writer liberties since but hey the name of the Foot and the Shredder would hardly be in English hence Ryuashi (Dragon foot or paw which would be more becoming and would make more sense with all the dragon paraphenalia) Kizassha ( the one who shreds). The story tells that it was a sort of parody of Dare devil's hand so I don't think they actually have an official Japanese name they are probably called Fuuto and Shureda probably written as phonetically correct me if I am wrong and ashi (Foot) sounded a bit simple for a megalomaniac tyrant.

Returning to Karai which means spice or harsh I somehow doubt that was her original name and there we go with the contradictions most fanfics depict her as ready to change sides eager to leave the Shredder's side, but if we go back to cannon she was part of the Foot and apparently proud of it in the comics, her daughter got killed in the crossfire and she did not said anything about abandoning the clan, and in the series well Karai was not shown having an extremely harsh childhood by his side, nothing would beat being abandoned by her parents though, so I'd grant biased perspective, she actually talked about him fondly and a cute depiction of a mini Karai training by his side is actually shown, though how did that work, who knows, he would have had 600 hundred years of Japanese field anthropology research yet I believe it would be in the realm of parody like: invader Zim talking about the new ownership of the TMNT and yes there are not enough on the realm of fanfiction but the license, Karai going on dates and there's no excuse are great. Nobody can be evil 24/7 usually for it would be extremely tiring, most of us are nicer to those we like (and that is not considered hard or praiseworthy) and act uncaring to those we don't and if you don't consider them equals or people or there are claims as who has the highest truth well things might get more out of proportion like with the tribal feuds in Africa, WWII, the conquest and genocide in the Americas, Polynesia, Africa and not going far the gender discrimination and related crimes that still exist sadly everywhere. Crossing my fingers the Copenhagen deal works better than the Kyoto protocol otherwise Waterworld here we go, though I'd be probably more concerned if I lived at sea level.

I agree that sports are a very effective way of keeping people sane and healthy but let's be honest watching sports on TV does not qualify as such specially with the beverages and snacks that abound no matter how much you may jump disagreeing with the referee or whatever decision, or how much support your favorite team of (place sport here) and the world sportive events are great and all, but if a fraction of the attention and money that is devoted to sports was devoted to I don't know develop alternative energy sources, fight global warming, making people actually exercise, keep kids out of the streets, make our cities safer (put your favorite good cause space), etc well who knows. I deserve the ramble in my country we are still paying and absurd Olympic support tax 40 years after the event and they are used, sadly as was the case, with a more political agenda in mind and not only in the country I live.

Well this is year of changes some superheroes now wear the mouse ears and TMNT has been acquired by Viacom which means they will not be archived till kingdom come again, a turtle tots toon would be cool though, but who knows change tends to be good and with Nick is a fifty fifty from thing I disliked viscerally like the Sponge and Ren and whatever to great things like the last Air Bender or Zim, I loved how clueless Zim was regarding the Earth for he was not and really was not trying to be human, forget the good or bad alien thing yes they can be pretty inept also. So ony time will tell.

Thanks for reading and lot more for reviewing comments complaints and ideas welcome; hopefully next one won't take as long.


	56. The turtle and the sage

All TMNT characters are now copyrighted by Nickelodeon (Viacom) and were created by Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird. Ange et Demón by RoBERT and DEA_._ The World is not enough by Garbage and Almo Sounds, Inc./Geffen Records_. Yoma Kazoe Uta by Sakashita Masatoshi_. Kryptonite by 3 Doors Down and Universal Records Inc. And this is a non-profit fanfic.

* * *

"I do envy you little fellow" The battered broken heart disowned feeling warrior said looking at the pet of his beloved peacefully eating a breadcrumb it had obtained while looking at a blood stain from his once brother on his ninja garb. "To you all… this… has been nothing more than a change of cage."

* * *

**THE TURTLE, THE SAGE AND MIND BOGGLING MATTERS  
**

It had taken a good half an hour to convince the old sage that Leo was not in condition to give him the audience he requested outside LH´s improvised infirmary where Leo was.

The old man finally huffed and gave them all a skeptic glare. "I take tea offer Splintasan but I to speak with the kumquat… alone;" he emphasized looking at Don inquisitively "now this turtle wind...flu? that befallen has your child?" he said looking at Michelangelo "Yeah and of the vicious kind and like uberly contagious actually we could be getting infected like right now Don got it already, but we should be better like.. get away from here."

The sage sighed rummaging through his purse "Me think I…"

"It's nothing!" Don interrupted begrudgingly trying his best not to show the anger he felt for he was not letting anything or anyone related to the tribunal give anything to Leo "Leo is already taking something thanks for your concern Sh.. he is just a lousy patient that is all so we had to… force the bed rest...again" Don half lied.

"Yeah like that time Leo went to fight with a fever or when he went to take down the Foot or when… "He gulped at Don's glare "no we can't let that happen again right Raph?" He said putting his arm on Raph shoulder before his tongue slipped more; who gave them all a what the heck's glare but deciding to play along. "Yeah as bad as it gets"

"Still… odd wind currents now flow around this place one particularly strong and…You have raised indeed interesting things Yo...Splitasan… it seem Kumquat not fall far tree keeping things …kumquat?!" he said doubtful glaring at the stumbling figure of a mask less Leonardo in the threshold of the entrance to LH lair who turned briefly and focus her eyes on him and said whispering "The longer I bear the hardships of this world I yearn and miss that midnight moon, Ta…ro ojisan dengon ( message for uncle Taro): "Tsukatarashi torinakereba narimasen (If we want to use it, we have to take it from its place). She said in pronouncing each word slowly

The turtles look at each other puzzled since they have not heard a word from her in days the also startled Splinter replied "a koan? But my ch..." The suddenly pale old man interrupted Splinter by lifting his left hand and continued at the obvious discomfort of the other 3 turtles and Splinter perplexed glare.

"If we yar skin from place take, what become you?"

"If we want to use it, we have to take it from its place." Leo replied and made a pause. Baffled; the old man continued, trying to determine the turtle's objective and decided to play the part of the master in the tale but was outrun when Leo yelled out of a sudden to the turtle and rat obvious discomfort, and then looked at him intently.

The master then resolved to finish the tale, having reached some kind of conclusion. "What deafness? Okiru ato yasunda?" _(after awakening I rested)_

She nodded briefly and turned. "anata mo jibun de kibishiyo; sannen fukushu no gimu jikan ne" (_you also harsh on yourself, sadly time for vengeance task)_ she giggled in Japanese before sprinting.

Leaving one rat and 3 turtles extremely confused.

The paled old man sighed and slowly collected himself "Interesting … Tang's Haiku, old master koan; Kumquat track something hope still in the fivefold path, good…bad… I tell cannot but vengeance not satori (enlightenment)" He said wiping a pesky tear and turning around "Just hope like girl meditation koan Kumquat desires way back …too young …why depart young they?" He said patting Don and walking away.

"Ancient One the message…" Splinter said feeling torn, hoping to get some guidance.

"Delivered child not sure Tribunal answer understand; Kumquat not right I no Ma Zu I still much learn need… fleeting maya (illusion) enter maya" he half laughed "Forgot I still here, hope you" He said putting his free hand on chest "kokoro ni kono orokana roujin yurusu dekiru (in heart, this foolish old man forgive), naosu jikan (time to heal), time let them go, tell Kumquat I care not tribunal welcome anytime, remind that though it appear so I not disown children I... mitsu no hakaba (three slates) need clean" and glaring at them impatiently said "Sleep children no allow wander what ya waiting for? tea other time go!"

oui c'est un coups de foudretu es tombé du ciel

et en m'otant la vie, tu m'as donné des ailes

je suis ange et démon et suis prête à me battre

"I can't believe that old geezer just let Leo walk away too … and I mean what's with Leo and the disappearing thing I don't know about you guys but Dad I am…I am beginning to feel left out here and what was with the creepy skin thing; now they want a turtle shoes or something because that's…"

"Michelangelo!" Splinter reprimanded "I told you not to take things literally is a koan something to meditate about on Zen philosophy it tells the story when Bai Zhang consulted his master on his development, the venerable Ma Zu stared at a feather duster. The student said, "If we want to use it, we have to take it from its place." The master retorted, "If we take your skin from its place, what would become of you?" The student held up the feather duster. Master said, repeating student's words, "If we want to use it, we have to take it from its place." The student then returned the feather duster to its original place. At this instant, the master gave a shout so loud that the student was deaf for three days. Later, when classmates asked him about his temporary deafness, he said, "What deafness? After awakening, I just took a rest." But what your …Leonardo meant by that is not clear to...""

"So that guy Stir Fry wanted that Gazu guy or whatever to clean the place and also he wanted his skin so he shouted to deafen him and… what's wrong with this people?!"

Splinter sighed yes trying to explain subtle teachings of Zen to Michelangelo was a hopeless cause.

"He is not entirely wrong about the skinning part though" Don who had always view koans as impossible riddles huffed before being interrupted by Raph who also had no patience for mind boggling riddles "Fearless is… sleepwalking again… right? I mean ya said it was enough to knock a bloody horse."

Don raised his glare for a minute before returning to his task the timing issue he had noticed in LH lair kept not fully adding up "I know but…stupid tracker!" he said shaking it hoping to get the signal right on his shellcell from the little tracker he had attached to Leo's shell.

"This is the way to the…" started Raph

"Lair Leo is heading to the lair, makes sense" said Don at first relieved.

"Dude! Portal, weapons…" Michelangelo added concerned.

"Hurry up meet you there" Raph said rushing while Don rushed after him and Mikey kept with Splinter's slower pace.

I know how to hurt  
I know how to heal

When Raph arrived he was met with the eerie silence and darkness of the lair

Disturbed by a soft humming coming from Leo's room in a sort of count down song he could not fully make out.

Itsutsu, Ikusa no shi no ame no  
(Five, the rain and blood because of the war)

"That song again?" the panting Don said having finally caught up with him. He saw the tracker signal and led the way but by time they got to Leo's room, aside from the moved mattress and bricks which revealed Leo's safe as well as her emerald's pocket.

Muttsu, Mukura to kawarya senu  
(Six, just like a dead body)

They only got a glimpse of a fabric disappearing through an almost invisible crack in the wall that led out of the lair from Leo's room into an apparently impenetrable jungle like mesh of wires and tubes.

"crud!" was all Raph managed to said getting tangled and highly reluctant to accept the hand the reluctant Don, who had prudently not entered was offering as the signal on his tracker kept getting far and eerie song was heard fading in the distance.

Nanatsu, Namida mo kare hate te  
(Seven, My tears run out)

* * *

"Leonardo?" Splinter said with fatherly concern at their human friend request trying to break the veil of unrest that seemed to have taken over his also very injured eldest. "You need rest as well."

"I'll rest when…! I'll rest later." the upset turtle managed to soften the reply, looking at the window.

* * *

Life had been good for Hun lately, with the Foot almost withdrawal, the once disorganized gang of the Purple Dragons had grown into a "respectable" or in Hun's words 'decent criminal organization'. Finding out his once respected boss, master and distorted fatherly figure was a slimy slug had been a shock and probably explained why he had been looked over in favor of that also treacherous so called daughter. Well he had albeit sometimes painfully, gotten something from his service time the great business view, the structure and thing and hopefully the green critters will eventually come to their senses and they would be beamed back to their home planet wherever that was as he had thought they had for the last 3 or 4 years, what he would pay for that. He would pay even more to have their heads, particularly the one of the red clad and a certain masked vigilante heads hanging on his office as trophies… Well, not the blue one, that one was… But after the whole demon Shredder thing, he had not been so eager to fight them, though he doubted they could invoke those dragons again at will. One thing was having a dragon tattoo and another fighting one, so it was better to be safe than sorry. So aside from the occasional confrontations with low-level operations, he had started to make decoy operations to keep them distracted as he little by little expanded his turf. Yes life was good. Now he was free an thriving having removed the Foot tattoo on his right arm, he had as well ditched the limitations the Foot imposed on weapons and certain deals with the whole honorable thing he had never fully understood. So he had diversified and it had allowed him to make his business flourish to unsuspected levels. "Look how far I gotten Ma!" he said. Money, women, power, yes life was being good lately to Hun, what else a nascent big shot like himself could desire after all? And whoever opposed would be crushed, he thought closing his fist proud to show his behemoth muscles whenever he could even if it was only to himself so the least he expected was anyone breaking in his office.

* * *

I know what to show  
And what to conceal  
I know when to talk  
And I know when to touch  
No one ever died from wanting too much

"LEO IS WHERE?!" Raph exploded; stopping the van abruptly, becoming pale, and nearly making them crash as he heard the address Don indicated, a few blocks away in the bad side of town.  
"What's wrong my son?" Splinter asked from the back.

"Yeah dude, you nearly…"Michelangelo said not understanding.

Raph recovered his breath. "Purple Dragon freaking central!!"

"But you said it was on..." Don said.

"That's display, this is where the weapons are, and not even the guys in blue come here." Raph explained.

"Oh no! Leo has turned into an angry PMS Raph version," Mike said.

Raph grunted and had he not been as worried as he was he would have no doubt smacked the tactless turtle.

"But why?" Don started remembering something Leo had said and said it aloud: "Purple dragons, I hate purple dragons" the dark mood injured blue clad turtle had said to Don's surprise in Casey's house when that scumbag Sid had dragged them there. "Vengeance?" Splinter offered. The omen part of blood falls not sounding particularly good. "We have to stop her!"

I took a walk around the world to  
Ease my troubled mind  
I left my body laying somewhere  
in the sands of time

The behemoth had not seen the first hit coming for his golf clubs that were pretty much for display were blocking the view but it had given him a big bump. He was accustomed to take more punishment than that, so he rapidly turned to meet his aggressor who was now peacefully seated in HIS chair, waiting for him to stand up while twirling one of the clubs.

"Hunt, Hunter, Huntley, Huntingdon, you certainly don't look like a Hung do you? But who knows, somehow I don't think you are interesting enough to be renamed, less in what would be called impure sounds*, right Hun?" The hooded figured said pronouncing his name with a marked Japanese intonation he was familiar with that send chills through his spine.

"Who the Hell ya think ya are?! Do you know who I am? You gotten yerself a one way trip to pain freaking town." He said pounding his fist into his palm ready to inflict a lot of pain into the intruder. Boasting his overwhelming mass; missing the hit.

The figure sighed unmoved still playing with the club. "Oh I know who you are, seen plenty of your sort, but does it even matter? I can't really tell which of you is more despicable. At least your master could claim… I don't know… insanity… But you? The followers are as guilty and you actually enjoy it and know what you have been doing and you are not as dumb as you look." The huge blonde man hissed missing the target again.

I watched the world float to the dark  
Side of the moon  
I feel there is nothing I can do, yeah

"They are of your own kind you know? And though you could claim a bad environment, a lousy childhood, bad genetics or whatever, I don't believe that is an excuse. Not if judged by… how you call it? A jury of your peers. Though creatures like you are eventually judged, sadly not as expeditious as desirable…even if it's only whenever they are replaced. Personally I would leave you to the laws you so blatantly break, not that you deserve the fair trial you should be entitled to but…" the figure giggled. "What can I say, I am just the messenger. Now tell me, Hun, and not that you have given any to the countless people you have hurt… Any last wish?" the hooded figure continued brandishing the thin golf club as a sword and cutting the air.

"I'll show ya message you…" the massive man said eager to squash the intruder that was making him a bit uneasy throwing the desk at it. The hooded creature moved but the air stream managed to pull the fabric of the hood a bit.

The figure sighed and the hood pulled back revealing a bald green skin and two hazel brown huge eyes that fixed a cold stare on him that gave him shivers.

"A dime a dozen he said, so I guess he won't mind. I do hate Purple Dragon scum after all," the creature spoke with a sneer as the room went dark.

If I go crazy then will you still  
Call me Superman  
If I'm alive and well, will you be  
There holding my hand

"So? How is Leo in… you known?" Michelangelo absent-mindly asked, before feeling intimidated by Don's glare and he decided to focus his attention in less threatening thing, like the heavily armed Purple Dragons that guarded the building from the roof of the neighboring building. "Any plans, ideas?"

"We bust in, take fearless and then we will bust our way out, simple, ah? You sure Leo is there it seems too… "Said Raph.

"Quiet! Too quiet! I can't believe we are …wait I perfectly can believe this," stated Michelangelo with a nervous giggle. This made the rest shiver.

"Leo must be there, unless… we need a better plan, one that won't get us killed right sensei?" Don empathized hacking into the power grid mainframe.

The master was about to reply when the sound of breaking glass interrupted their chat as a huge desktop was thrown through the window of an upper floor falling hardly and stridently turning to pieces.

"Seems the time for planning is over, Fearless already started the party." Raph growled.

"We go now and remember stick to shadows and take care my sons I will be right with you this enemies do not fight honorably" he said looking at their heavy arms carried by the young sentinels.

"And when have they master?" as Don clicked to cause a blackout in the area.

You called me strong, you called me weak,  
but still your secrets I will keep

They step on the building dimly illuminated by the emergency lights in a reddish tone. Most Purple Dragons were rookies with more brawls that brain but some of them were better marksmen than others as the turtles had painfully found out during Leonardo's absence. Mikey rubbed the scar on his tight and Don sighed. None of them had dared tell Leo how close they had been of being annihilated by Hun's gang without Hun being there to make it worse their pride forbids it to take the preach no doubt Leo would have given them. They had been too cocky and careless. Leo had questioned but Mikey had dismissed it as job related injuries joking that kids were wild and since Splinter himself had changed the topic Leo had just given them her inquisitive trademarked glare and never brought it up again.

For once they were silent following Splinter stealthily Leo's absence painfully clear. Having accessed from the roof of the neighboring building they treaded the not so well kept service emergency stairs of the 6 storey high building with caution having found several unconscious sentinels. The turtles approached Leo's signal warily.

Nothing could have prepared them for what they found beyond the closed doors.

you took for granted all the times I  
never let you down

* * *

**Author's note**

Happy festivities 2010, tiger year or whatever year it is for you.**  
**

First thanks to Lady-Cassy for her beta.

Second thanks to Lady Kae and deathoftoast for reviewing, it means a lot thanks.

Third I posted a poll on my profile and I would appreciate your votes TVM. Suggestions on the title would be appreciated too.

Ok. 1.0 (since believe it or not I do have a life and I exercise) and now 1.5 (Gaia IS addictive). Keep getting in the way of writing but finally here we are this chapter came as a sort of surprise for me too so let me know your thoughts on this one.

*Hu is not a phonem (sound) found on Japanese so a native Japanese speaker would pronounce it with certain accent. They have ha hi fu (not hu go figure why and that is the order) he ho as pure sounds and pa pi pu pe po as impure (adaptation) sounds so his name is not in Japanese, not that Hun would understand. But makes you wonder what is his real name. ( I do speak and write some Japanese but I am not that fluent so if someone thinks it should be different let me know)

Koan according to wiki: A **kōan** (pronounced /ˈkoʊ.ɑːn/; Chinese: 公案; pinyin: _gōng-àn_; Korean: gong'an; Vietnamese: công án) is a fundamental part of the history and lore of Zen Buddhism. It consists of a story, dialogue, question, or statement; the meaning of which cannot be understood by rational thinking, yet it may be accessible by intuition. One widely known kōan is "Two hands clap and there is a sound; what is the sound of one hand?" (oral tradition attributed to Hakuin Ekaku, 1686-1769, considered a reviver of the kōan tradition in Japan). I found a rather enlightening answer about them that said that they are sort of quotes for certain teaching and need certain state of mind and training to understand them, alike scientific journal texts that unless you are in the area might be undecipherable. It is the Ancient One after all.

My arguments well the quotes come from TMNT 2003 episode Cousin Sid. Where after returning badly injured from the Exodus battle the turtles rest in North Hampton, I don´t know about you but Utrom medicine sucks if they allowed them to return still fractured, half burn and with massive scarring so the turtles and Splinter seek some peace and quiet at Casey´s grandma´s house which is fine until Casey's delinquent cousin shows up dragging problems with him, Hun is reorganizing the PD and they are collecting debts. There is something else but Leo dislikes the PD more that he dislikes the Foot and I keep wondering why does Splinter seem to only intervene upon pressure maybe he pick it from the Ancient One´s parenting skills, in that case April's. I started writing Hun as a mindless brute hardly anyone mentions him but upon review (he did hire Touch an Go after all) I realized the 2003 and forward show did not present him as such. He is a gang criminal with limited schooling not as smooth and educated mastermind as the Shredder but not really Neanderthal level though muscle seems his modus operandi, he can actually operate a computer VG though I don´t see him in rpg more of a GTA or shooter guy, stranger things have happened. Anyone wonders what nationality he is supposed to be by the way? I know peroxide would yield that platinum blond but he is too big to be Asian ( newer generations are bigger but still that guy would be a NFL candidate) as they tried make it look on BttS with the Chinese PD members which makes sense with the name but then Angel wasn't. My money is on mixed descend but then gangs are sort of background selective in a sort of distorted way too fill the sense of belonging needed by all primates including us but then is animation not a thesis.

One thing that really baffles me is why the Foot can't use fire arms aren't they like ninja (mercenaries) so though I know is a sort of to be on even ground or whatever samurai consider firearms dishonorable not ninja what is that? some sort of honor among thieves thing and I imagine the Utrom would be more pragmatic, I mean he seem quite happy shooting things with his sword, they were more of an anything goes group. The Shogunate "peace" was also gained using them and weapons which were later forbidden. I have nothing against the Tokugawa's Ieyasu was quite a character but the show producers brought them up, While Ch'rell is playing with his mighty Tengu sword he states that he gave the rule to them using it, so that is why I refer to them.

Why is Raph driving? well I assume he is a fine driver a bit reckless though he has a bike after all, the choice would be Don but he is giving directions and master Splinter can´t drive and Mikey honestly?

Ok, Thanks for reading and more for those who take the time to review and please check the poll.


	57. Interlude

All TMNT characters are now copyrighted by Nickelodeon (Viacom) and were created by Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird. Dress from trinity Blood by Buck Tick by Atsushi Sakurai. And this is still a non-profit fanfic.

* * *

_You say "You hit like a girl!" but you said, quote: "I love it when Leo talks tough. We should have Karai stab him more often!_"" followed by that giggle.

* * *

**INTERLUDE**

Raph hit the wall of the barn at Casey's farm again. Never had he felt so… useless! And considering the marks he found, apparently sneaky Mikey had been here too, blowing some steam. He huffed for intoxicating himself into oblivion was by order and common sense not an option, being forced to walk over eggshells around his…ha! He hit the wall again. It was driving him insane.

One would think that days in PD quarters had been more than enough to keep them occupied, but cursed turtle luck! He could still pictured that scumbag Hun and, well, all the other PD´s terrified faces. If he did not know them better, he could have almost felt sorry for them, seeing how they cowered like the rats. They should have let Leo do whatever Leo intended to do, it would have been better than see her like this_. "Not fair, master... serves not justice…mmmm? but he agrees right… Raph? It has to be done."_ Leo had really freaked him out and continued doing so and now, knowing one of the probable causes… just their turtle luck! They, or rather Leo was being punished for saving the world because there was no way he would be willing to believe Leo had submitted to whatever thing was trying to overpower his eldest bro….sis …. Talking about sick jokes... He shook his head briskly, not wanting to consider it, not now at least.

On the good side, apparently today they did have old fearless back for a while. At least. he thought while hitting the poor dummy even harder, preaches and everything as tough time had been rewound to more "_stable_" times. How far one could only guess if that was even the case, cus good ole Leo could be simply playing them again: around April and Casey she almost behaved normal after all; he thought, lashing another hit on the defenseless dummy that embodied all his bottled frustration from the day before giving up to the thirst and gulping the soda probably Mikey had left behind.

However its content spilled before reaching his throat as Raph hand unconsciously crush it remembering Leo's wince as she dropped the club and emitted a loud yell the previous week. Who cared if the whole PD and whomever got hurt? They were worthless scum who blew every chance they were given, right? So, as long as they….because he knew his "bro…" did not do yelling.

And then he finally remembered when his master had done something like that before. He had forgotten most of the details. Don and Mikey had been ill that time, he had been following Leo... And then the insects skittering... And some crushing beneath his head while those deranged eyes gave him that evil glare, mumbling something about 'not being Halloween little brat.' He remembered closing his eyes, hoping that, whatever wraith would disappear, just as Mikey did when he had a nightmare, covering himself with their ragged blankets. Feeling despaired and slowly losing consciousness and then a dull sound. He vaguely remembered being carried, or rather trudged back home, briefly awakening to his fathers distressed voice, feeling pulled. "Raphael my child…!" Someone had carried him back but how...who? "What have you done?" followed by a hard sounding slap. That had not been addressed to him after all. "It had to be done." Another familiar voice had icily replied. He had always thought it a nightmare. Someone had been crying in the distance afterwards. Had it been Leo? He now wondered. "I...Father…I swear….Please don't send…away." He and Leo had pretty much parted ways since then, as though a wall had been built overnight, separating them. His other brothers thought it had to do with Leo's appointment as leader, but it had been before that, it just made it more apparent. Leo simply stopped spending time with him, acting as though nothing had happened. _"I don't know what you are talking __about." B_ut also focusing so madly in training that it was as though Leo was practically avoiding him suddenly, considering him uninteresting.

The icing of the whole mess up had been Leo's words to his master, not to mention the tone which had been suspiciously stopped by his master chant, which he would not even consider. Yeah, things were really weird.

"Ah! The anointed warrior. that would be fine and according to plan, right?' she had said, with a tad of sarcasm, making a bow ."But; master; can a soul be truly free to be reborn whilst earth bound? I have a theory, master. Would you like to hear it?" Too many things he did not even want to go into. The way Leo's glare had become dull and how she had uttered in that dispassionate chilling tone: "Follow me again then. Those of you who chose to remain among the living, that is" as she guided and almost single-handedly cleared the way before them, making the purple dragons flee with just a glare. Up to the old lair where she just sat down and rocked back and forth while hugging herself and uttering inaudible things, completely oblivious to the world this time. Disturbingly enough; not even Don had been able to approach and it was not due to his lack of trying. It was as though something was keeping them away, not as violently as what he had felt in the Nexus which might be due to Leo deteriorating health; but still impassable; until she had passed out or fallen asleep, who could tell? And the love struck turtle had finally been able to hold her despite their disapproving glares, before they all helped to carry her back home. He really could not complain about that, could he? After all, he had driven Leo from his side with every word and threat he had made. When was the last time he had done something nice for Leo? He meditated. "Well I took Leo to the fights in the future.. or rather made Leo go since no one else would go with me."Hey, who knew what Leo liked anyway?" He really could not tell asides from swords, meditation and training. Not that anything could be done in the far from civilization place they were now, not even the internet worked properly, something that annoyed Don to no end. Not that it mattered to him; but their limited supply of decent age appropriate programming or local thugs to beat to pulp was also driving him insane. And did he really look that unstable and uncaring? Yes, the old master had finally spoken and had decided to visit the Daimyo, trying to obtain as much information as possible today, promising to return as soon as possible. _"We might not have much time left wih… So I beg you to make an effort in my absence not to…" Who the heck did they took him for? _Leo was still too much of brother, and right now that was the only thing he wanted back. So leave them be for now, he had resolved, regarding the now ignored purple clad efforts to get the blue clad´s attention. She had closed him out too apparently. His upcoming role as best man in the Jones-O'Neil or rather O'Neil-Jones or whatever... Yeah, that happens when you keep your friend out and they find out astray family member returns, so they can go on with their lives plans; that and something about taxes he really did not understand . But that seemed like a better, safer insight topic. He did not truly understand the order fuss. One name was as good as the other, wasn't it? And none of them were swear word or anything funny right? Like Reeks though it fitted knuckle head and as he had put it, gals were a difficult, a truly unphantomable territory, as his brief mostly one side fling with certain blonde acolyte had proved to be. And turtles ones were apparently… arrg! scarce and incredibly annoying and he did not want to go into the whole wrongness of the matter; considering Leo's fan girl's glare yesterday, as she practically glued to his side, like in the good old days, cus, unlike that perverted Big brain, he had some moral stamina not to go after his own…. Yeah, the wedding was a far easier thing to handle.

**Awkwardness**

taikutsu na uta ni mimi wo katamuke mado no soto mitsumeru

(I listen to a boring song, and stare out the window)  
boku wa DORESU wo matoi odotte miseyou

(I wrap myself in a dress and show off a dance)  
kurutteru kai oshiete

(Tell me, am I crazy?)  
itsuka kaze ni sarawarete yuku darou

(One day, it will probably be carried off by the wind)  
ima wa futari omoidasezu

(Now, neither of us can remember it)

Something definitely was going on and Leo just knew it; but dared not bring it on the open. If the young leader did not knew better, it would made it seem as the whole family was in an extremely polite avoiding mood; which was freaky, considering it came even from Raph, master Splinter included which was... well unusual. What was all that thing about: "I am proud of you Leonardo and I know you will make the most appropriated choice about everything anyway and I support whatever you decide". He seemed to have aged a lot lately thought."_Great, what did I do this time?"_ The turtle wondered and _"Why does Don look so sad? It must have something to do with April's upcoming wedding. I know they have dated long enough just... darn amnesia, but she is too old for him after all; mmm she did said something about wanting me to meet someone regarding my calligraphy though?" _The turtle sighed feeling a bit 'J_ealous? now where did that come from?' _the turtle wondered 'Something is definitely amiss but I can't really tell what without freaking them more, can I?' the turtle wondered behind its guarded glare, sat and watching the nature show that portrayed two turtles from a different species trying to flip each other, trying to obtain the favors of an off camera one that had departed before her two chelonial chevaliers finished their squirmish and Leo, for some strange reasons, found it extremely hilarious, unwillingly emitting a badly conceal chuckle masqueraded as cough and that, for some reasons, made the mood even more gloomy, more than when the question about the meaning of the word _polyandric_ habits applied to female turtle mating habits was asked by Mike. It received unexpected growls from Raph and not a clear answer from a stuttering Don who seemed also quite shy around the blue clad turtle. Leo had answered, increasing the discomfort; Leaving Mike with incomplete information was a dangerous thing. Indeed, he usually ended up concocting the most ludicrous ideas. "It means they have more than one "mate" if the word even applies Mike." But it seemed it had been an awkward move. "Really?" Mike asked in disbelief before being shut by Raph´s killing glare. All of them blushed and it became deadly silent again. The blue clad turtle sighed. One could cut the air with a knife and, though it was interesting, he decided to end the pain for the remaining turtles who seemed unusually uncomfortable with the chosen topic and simply tossed the remote to Mikey who swiftly changed the channel to watch something with less educational content, prattling something about educational channels that should be censored and totally inappropriate programs for the time slot and that "kids who might be watching it" and, oddly for Mikey always wrestled his way to shows with borderline doubtful rating so his choosing of the most G show available in the quite limited choice of channel available in he cabin while skipping several movies he had made them watch countless times was odd indeed; which was bizarre for bloody, gory, profane and promiscuous were usually the choices he usually put them through. Well, Mike was right: if one give it a serious thought, that show would be a sort of birds and bees show for them and they did went a bit graphic. Humans were definitely a voyeuristic specie and to tell the truth, it was making her uncomfortable, though she could not tell why.

"I'll go help April" The turtle said and silently departed the room planning to also practice in the outdoors that new kata that had been bugging her mind; that would probably bother them as well but lately what didn't? When they finally noticed. But the less the merrier. "F_or some reasons, they were treating me as if as I was made of china. I really must have messed up something and was this feeling of…" _The turtle picked a branch from a tree as a make up sword for hers were nowhere to be found and she removed the heavy garments that covered her body to begin the kata movements like in a carefully studied dance.

The turtles breathed, having a hard time deciding whose turn it was to accompany as stealthily as possible the blue clad oblivious turtle.

"That was really… what was that about? We have to tell … How old is Sybil supposed to be today? Guys is getting really awkward …Could she at least wear something more discreet? A burka or something? Maybe April should teach her how to…man! Bad example, when is master Splinter coming back anyway?" the confused Mikey said, trying to avoid being blamed for forgetting to unplug the TV which had let to that extremely uncomfortable incident.

"Shut up Mike!" replied Raph a bit sad for the glued to him Leo that had annoyed the hell out of him the previous day seemed to have gone away for good. "You sure Raph here is not going to turn too? Because then we can have a party" he said half-joking to Raph increasingly irked glare.

"Mike how many times do I have to tell you reptiles...turtles, unlike fishes and toads, are not known to have that sort of change to adjust the sex ratio; parthen…" he stopped he did not need to give Mikey ideas. "And I am not sure she meets all the criteria for dissociative identity disorder, if that even exists. This is more like a temporal dissociation." said Don dispassionately, having read a lot of the books Leo had apparently read, finding them quite disturbing. Biology and psychology were definitely in a new whole level of weirdness. Socrates was right: '_scio me nescire'_** "**I know that I know nothing"

"The _"s" _word." remarked Mikey, bringing him back to Earth. "Yeah, I know but we are mutant too, remember? And, I mean, you even had a clone to compare and could not tell?"

"I know I messed up! You don't have to remind me. I'll go." Don said finally not wanting to go into the oddities like the non discarded parthenogenesis vs very long term sperm storage in turtles in isolation which will make everything even more complex. "What the heck did they mean by 'not proven?' They should have researched further. _More money should definitely be devoted to turtle study_. he had thought, finding only one relevant article. Sadly it was not on the top of research these days for theirs was not a truly domesticated species or a model organism, like zebrafish or arabinopsis. He thought about giving a thought on the details of their unique genetic make up, he had never mentioned to them, for it was plainly weird like the alien, probably Utrom genes LH had talked about, and not to forget that file on the Shredders trial which Honeycutt had not yet decrypted, and trying his best to remember some things he had analyzed that time in the future. Mike was right: with all the technology at their disposal and even the analysis in that dark clone, how could he have missed it? And then something Cody had done became increasingly suspicious, which fit greatly with the conspiracy theory that had been bugging his mind. _"I knew there was a missing pag_e..._ blasted not yet born Jones! You knew and told me nothing!" _

* * *

**Author´s note**

Hi everyone been a long while. Been kind of busy at 1.0; no time for writing and 1.5. But here it is and hopefully next installment will be more action packed.

Thanks to Lady-Kassy for her beta.

Special thanks to deathoftoast for her continuous reviews hope you continue reviewing. And thanks to SmileyDJingles and wildhorses1991 for reviewing last chapter. Thanks a lot to to those who voted you can choose up to two and is still open.

I do love Buck Tick: Gessekai and Dress are great so if you have ever a chance hear them.

I got my hands on an actual turtle biology article and contrary to popular belief most reptiles do not undergo a gender change aside from their embryonic stage but if let´s say if Don wanted to review he would be disappointed and disturbed by the turtle research available. Parthenogenesis or virgin birth like in the virgin lizard in which they are all female that basically clone themselves is one of the proposed not yet discarded gender balancing strategies written as something like "suggested not proven". They do not form permanent bonds either like birds and do not have the most organized hierarchical structure so yeah real turtle females are quite the players.

Sybil is the character of a book and movie with dissociative identity disorder aka multiple personality disorder which is not as frequent as Hollywood made us think and some psychiatrist question its existence because basically the question asked is whether they were there just as traits parts of the personality that were scattered by misguided psychotherapy. Given enough resources some people can be convinced of just anything.

Thanks for reading and more for reviewing.


	58. Dusk

_All TMNT characters are now copyrighted by Nickelodeon (Viacom) and were created by Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird. Mad about you by Sting. Transparent by KOKIA, Kagome Kagome traditional Japanese song, Wish I Had an Angel by Nightwish written by Holopainen__; You give Love a bad name by Jon Bon Jovi, Desmond Child, and Richie Sambora; And this is a non-profit fanfic. (Glossary and cultural notes at the end)  
_

* * *

_That whirls around the April moon_  
_Whirling in an arc of sadness_  
_I'm lost without you, I'm lost without you_  
_And though you hold the keys to ruin_

_everything I see _

_I am mad about you, I am mad about you_

* * *

**DUSK**

Don sighed, trailing after Leo with a slow but steady pace. He felt overwhelmed and he hated it. He did not know if his "siblings " were being considerate or plainly irresponsible to leave him with Leo. "_Putting Leo on a burka?_" He sighed. That Mikey! They were not like Mayflies or those vermin humans they usually had to stop in dark alleys because of their inability to control their impulses. They were turtles that in the wild were known to... literally stalk the females into submission and were quite enthusiastic about it, he thought, remembering a video of a poor turtle trying to courtship a clueless fish? in its..his tank.

He sighed as he remembered certain incidents in the lair and in the cabin because, even considering they had to wear winter clothes most of times due to the weather that had become a bit chilly, it was still quite awkward. Their interactions had always been borderline promiscuous to foreign eyes, due to their upbringing: they still bathed together sometimes, as some Japanese families did according to what he had read, but just out of convenience because shell-rotting was no game and scratching by yourself was quite hard, aside the fact that fungus and algae were abundant, given their habitat and they tended to stink, which sort of ruined the stealth thing as it gave them a It-came-from-the-sewer-aroma master Splinter was never fully able to take from his fur, unless he spend a while outside in the sun.

Speaking of which, which one of them should actually offer Leo to "scratch her back" in the literal sense? He shook his head.

They used to hug and touch a lot, particularly Mikey regarding the hugging; turtles were not gregarious by nature but nevertheless, they seemed to enjoy basking together in the sun and, well, walk over each other too. They were not really that different in that aspect: they shared the bed and the toothbrush, which was probably responsible for many epidemics until a late age when they finally were able to obtain their individual rooms and supplies. It was still not uncommon for Mikey to crawl into their beds at night after a nightmare, fact which, during Leo´s departure, were extremely common.

And the bathroom... It originally had been a bucket in a distant and very smelly room until they found the abandoned facility that had been destroyed by the mousers, and had not really needed a door or curtain until April had come in the picture and lodged with them for a while and showed them a bit of... how to call it? Western human female modesty of sorts, that they became a little more self conscious about it by observing her upon master Splinter´s request, who had also refined his own behavior to shape it more humanely. She had not taken Raph using her toothbrush and getting Salmonella for it very well. And well, up until now, it had not been a problem because they were all literally on the same "male brotherly" boat... But now, it was messed up any way he looked at it and Raph and Mikey were also feeling its toll: the current naivete of Leo regarding her "condition" made it even harder, but forcing her to remember was not an advisable course of action according to the rat sensei who was probably right since the least they wanted was her to take off again to, well, just about anywhere again, _but would prove really complicated if it was given too much time. _

He stopped when he finally caught up with her and found her unsurprisingly enough practicing. Apparently the vacation instruction on Splinter's part had not really been really effective and he and, well, none of them could really enforced it. Maybe she did enjoy practice he concluded. It was a bit odd though if not alarming how she just pretended not to notice his presence just to get away with her kata, having found an adequate replacement in a tree branch for the unexplainable no swords situation she had taken as a sort of punishment for something she had done. He could not identify the kata but something about it seemed a bit odd or more aggressive than usual. But at the same time, he felt enthralled with the fluid movements, in spite of everything Leo remained mostly the same so hiding her behind a veil as Mikey had suggested was probably the most absurd idea he could … They were supposed to have some self control right? Not to jump at the first unsuspecting... _Shell! When had she become so... beautiful?_ He thought, feeling his lips tingle, remembering her warmth, her closeness in the cave... Man! He really needed a cold shower despite the weather.

_Bad_ _Don!_ he self-chastised. _It's Leo! you are not supposed to feel like this. Because you should not... Because she is your... __Man_, it was hopeless and without weapons, it really looked like... _dancing?_ He though a bit dreadful.

"Take a picture, it will last longer." Don heard Leo's voice say with her trademarked Freak-me-out-pat on the shoulder

Don blushed and shook his head.

"A penny for your thoughts." Leo said tilting her head to catch his gaze with an inquisitive tone which made Don shiver, wondering if she really could read his mind, because that would be... He averted her gaze unsuccessfully and gulped.

"Wanna join me for practice?" Leo asked, looking at him in the eyes, hopeful and putting her free hand on his shoulder. _It should be easier than this,_ he thought, flinching at Leo's touch, remembering how unbrotherly it had been back in. _Come on, you must have hallucinated Man._ Why was it so hard, he wondered, to try to make his mind go to go back to... well, whenever wherever it was Leo was not so... Darn! Even Maslow, in his disputed American ethnocentric hierarchy of needs, had put it at the bottom of the pyramid along the physiological needs, like sleeping and eating and that was it. And not that they had the greatest second level, the one of safety due to their ninja activities, but then he also put it in the third one, the one of love and belonging friendship, family and intimacy, which pretty much wrecked everything because he was not alone in this. He sighed and finally answered with a meek smile.

"Well I..."

"Good! Rei!" she saluted him with a bow at which he almost automatically answered back and before he knew it, he was on the ground in Leo´s death lock grip.

They had been at it for a while. Surprisingly enough the light workout did ease his mind.

At the end a panting Don finally yielded before he ended making more of a fool of himself. Leo was not necessary stronger than him but her training with Raphael made her quite proficient in hand to hand combat. She laid on the ground near him and looked at the clouds.

"We are still one, aren´t we? You are holding back Don." the blue turtle said out of the blue.

Don stuttered unsure. "Well..."

"What is going on, Don?" Leo asked.

Donatello gulped. The tone Leo had used was the one she used in order to get to the bottom of things.

"... Is it about April?" Leo inquired, hardening her tone and looking at him straight in the eyes.

"April?" he repeated a bit confused, then decided that Leo had inadvertently given him an opening. "Well, no... Yes … You know, April getting married and all."

_kokoro wo nakushita wake janai_  
_tada omoidasu no ga kowai youna ki ni naru_  
_wasurekaketeta nukumori ha_

_It's not that I've lost my heart…_  
_it's just that I get the feeling that what I'll remember will be something scary._  
_This warmth that I have forgotten_

Leo sighed and began petting him lightly on the arm. "I know it is hard. I know how you feel about her; but you must understand that she does live in a different world after all. One we will never entirely belong to. I guess she is really more like a symbol than an actual person some times. Sometimes I too wonder what it would be like." Leo stated, gauging Don's reaction.

"Marrying April?" Don exclaimed a bit disconcerted.

Leo chuckled. "No, having that sort of relationship. You know, in Miyamoto´s book of Five rings, it literally says _"Have no heart for approaching the path of love and to not have preferences not even in food."_ because they are considered illusions of the world, a hindrance for a warrior; but I wonder if he ever experienced it since it is not recorded him ever marrying or anything. I wonder what that kind of relationship is like it sounds a bit..."

"Well, that proves that guy is an idiot who did not know better... Wait, Usagi wrote a book?" Don interrupted suddenly.

"What's with a rabbit?" Leo asked back, stopping her petting.

"Usagi...? Your friend? You know pointy ears... wandering trans dimensional ronin..."

Leo´s expression told him he had just trespassed in Leo´s forgotten time.

"I was talking about Miyamoto Musashi, but since you are speaking of this, how much I have... ? Did I hit myself?" She asked, restarting her petting because, somehow, it was making reluctant Donatello talk.

Don sighed, remaining silent thinking _this was harder than the Triceraton mind probe thing_ and, after an awkward pause, added almost begging. "I...would appreciate if you refrained from doing that..." and then muttered "Darn Maslow."

"Maslow what?" Leo inquired innocently, not stopping the petting.

Don looked at Leo´s hand painfully,

"Ok, fine. Well I know it is not the same but we... I am here for you too." she said, stopping the petting more out of annoyance than anything seating down and stretching making an horizontal line on the left side of her neck visible under the sunlight as the bandana tails slid down to her carapace. "I can´t really solve anything if no one tells me what is going on! I mean what have I done so you don´t trust me anymore?"

Don was appalled and missed her words when he saw the scar, for it was directly over a major artery and he knew a hit like that would have been almost certainly fatal.

He seated down and approached Leo with questioning eyes putting his three-fingered hand over it, wanting to ask about it, looking at it intently.

"Don, I... what is happening to me?" she asked, starting to shake.

He felt his hand tingle and then nothing more.

* * *

_かごめかごめ Kagome Kagome, _

_篭の中の鳥は Kago no naka no Tori wa _

_いついつ出やる Itsu Itsu deyaru? Yoake no ban ni _

_夜明けの晩に鶴と亀が滑った Tsuru to kame ga subetta._

_後ろの正面だあれ。 Ushiro no shoumen dare_

_Kagome, Kagome, the bird in the cage,_  
_when will you come out?_  
_In the evening of the dawn,_  
_the crane and turtle slipped._  
_Who stands right behind you now?_

* * *

The sun rays were breaking trough and it felt a bit cold, still in the haze of dream, a voice spoke.

"The misty moon truly cannot compare. My memory did you no justice, fighting once more alongside with you yesterday was..." A male voice said tightening his embrace; she began to struggle.

The voice sighed. "They would have hunt us down. You know my fath... our jounin would have commanded it." The male voice gravely and a tad apologetic stated. "Otherwise... It would have been like this. It should have been..."

"Eien ni." (forever) She giggled and then struggled again eventually sighing giving up; as the embrace remained as firm as ever. She murmured. "Of course, not counting little Ryoko was never a suitable match for you; as she wasn't one of you; no matter how hard she tried." And then, she added a bit louder. "Not that I actually ever believed it; I can´t complain I do owe you one; most would have left me behind back then. But, well, the "I will marry her" you spat that time, served its purpose and made baachan take me in spite of her reticence of raising the odd stray cat you had found at the mountain pass instead of the boy she wanted."

"I am charming after all; am I not?" the other voice asked.

"Yes, and the recent loss of your mother and sister to the plague had nothing to do with it. Whatever she was well rewarded anyway; you all were though apparently you were scammed; you could have gotten even more for me, but that really moved her... You... Cheater! How did we end like this?... Sake?"

He did not reply as he gently caressed her back his calloused hands stumbling upon the lashing scars and a crest tattooed on her back, it was still a bit tender despite the years, so it made her flinch.

"WHO?" He inquired in a murderous tone.

"Unimportant as is 'none of your concern'." She heard herself reply, pushing him away.

"IT IS! You are... Mine... I...I WILL KILL HIM!"

She scoffed and tried to release herself from his grip again.

"So you finally show your fangs to your masters? You would do nothing of the sort! As they have nothing to do with me. It is irrelevant now, like your promises. What was I to you after all? Just another flower on the long philanderer list I have heard about, great hero of Yamato... Dragon slayer?"

She felt his grip tighten, leaving her breathless. "How dare you compare yourself to those soulless dolls?" And then he added a bit taunting. "Jealous perhaps? Last night you were not so... I did not know priestesses were supposed to be so... That settles it! You will come with me; I will take care of you from now on. You owe those dirty demon summoners nothing."

She sighed at his smugness and her foolishness. After all, having been drugged or whatever, was a shame to her early life training. "We... They had nothing to do with that! It was your people´s interference that released it when they invaded and raided the lands and shrines where the priestesses of old had sealed it, interfering with old traditions. The reason why I was left on my own at that pass. Those people... my people, you talk so lightly of, are far more reliable than you ever were.

"There is someone then... ? You did call someone in your sleep, this is not what it was promised." He asked in a cold fury.

"By whom...Jealous? Why do I even bother? As if you would listen... Time does not return. Your memory seems to be as bad as ever. You seem to have forgotten who I am... What I am... This crazy night was a mistake, an hallucination in this fighting mockery tournament. It changes nothing. It is simply not meant to be not in the stars as your people says. I am the Green Witch linked to the great Pimiko herself, the rightful ruler of Yamatai and threat to the ones you serve not your little pet Ryoko anymore. The answer is no. I will not allow myself to be abased again, becoming a lowly concubine of anyone, not even yours... We are but pawns after all an annoying little red thread and what came of it means nothing." She said, finally releasing herself and grabbing her sword to point at his neck observing a reddish menacing glow on his eyes.

"You are mine, always were and always will be." The proud warrior said, forcing a kiss despite the blade having drawn some blood.

She, at first, answered the kiss and then pushed him back with all her strength and jumped backwards, not missing the reddish glare. "What have you done Sakidono?... Gyōji! We are ready! Let´s dance!"

Don awoke suddenly, hyperventilating, Leo still unconscious by his side. His two brothers and father giving him a misgiving glare.

* * *

_Old loves die hard_  
_Old lies die harder_

* * *

"Your orders, my Lord " Said the kneeling Karai, interrupting in Japanese.

"Chichiue?" she added as she didn't get any answer. The details of the newest exosuit were truly amazing. So fine tuned it was creepy.

The Utrom opened his metallic hand, revealing a rectangular pendant with the Foot paw engraved in purple and turned to her, looking a bit... confused?

"…Karai? What do you think of this?"

"A true piece of craftsmanship no doubt." She answered observing its silver smooth finish. "Your orders regarding that scoundrel Hun?"

"Released so fast? Well... He is to remain mostly unharmed for now; but within sight that unfaithful dog might prove useful after all and he is proficient in hiding." He considered for a fraction of a second to comment his vision with Karai but finally decided against it. Probably another botched magic thing. _Why everything is so hard with this creature baffles me._ He decided to change the subject "Tell me Karai, if you were granted your freedom, what would you do with it?"

"Have I displeased you somehow, my Lord? My life is in and at the Ryuashi I can´t even..." Karai said, a bit anxious; after all leaving had never been an available option in a shinobi clan. Well not alive at least.

The Utrom sighed; the turtle was too idealistic. After all, most creatures just could not be free because they were unable to tell the difference, maybe the best course of action would be to arrange a marriage for Karai. "Do you know how to play Shogi or Go, Karai?"

Karai nodded baffled. "Well, I know the rules. I am not a proficient player though..."

The Utrom interrupted. "I used to play Go with the famous country pounder Demon King Oda long ago in the Sengoku Era. I rooted for him despite his samurai rigid standards and his family feud against the Iga clan; too bad the idiot got himself killed, never with the lucky kneader the little monkey Toyotomi though a tactical genius the deficiencies in his upbringing made him complicated, unrefined, unnecessarily paranoid and overly ambitious to consider my aid though he could have use it if he desired his line to last. Now Ieyasu, that was interesting to play Shogi with. I guess the drop rule which allows for captured pieces to be used was more of his liking; that schemer got my respect acknowledging me as the King maker... What a shrewd! He even had a samurai shinobi like you, the Iga Oni Hattori Hanzo, with whom I sometimes am mistaken. He also was talented; sadly talent is not a constant inheritable trait and the human span is so short ; I haven´t met anyone like them for a while... You know even three centuries later they still feared the last shogun would be Ieyasu´s reincarnation. Believe me, he was not. Otherwise he would have sought me... Maybe I should teach you how to play sometime."

"My Lord?" questioned Karai

The Utrom just raised his robotic hand to dismiss her.

* * *

_Oh! Shot through the heart and you're to blame  
You give love a bad name  
I play my part and you play your game  
You give love a bad name_

* * *

_**Author´s Notes**_

Long time I know well happy 2011, rabbit or whatever year is for you, technical location issues, health issues with the whole allergy season which for yours truly is all year long, video games that were too cool to put down and children that do take all the time.

Thanks a lot to Lady-Kassy for her beta.

Special thanks to deathoftoast I love your reviews well Cody had to hide some data from Don so not to cause a time paradox of sorts since Leo went through a throughout examination to compare him against his Dark clone in Fast Forward and Poisoned Dark Angel glad you liked it I hope to keep it flowing and those who have subscribed to this story. Thanks also for including the story in the two communities it was included one which was not even TMNT related so I felt honored meant to do that for a while.

Hopefully next won´t delay as much but can´t make any promises except believe it or not I am planning to finish it.

The title well ran out of title ideas so I am taking Meyers title ideas which I finally made myself read strangely enough I agree with both parties in this one I understand the whole prince charming deal and the where is your personality girl argument.

**Brief Cultural notes and Glossary **(For the expanded version go to wikipedia from which this was shamelessly extracted)

_Baachan: grandma not necessarily related_

Book of Five Rings (五輪書, _Go Rin No Sho_) is a text on kenjutsu (Sword fighting) and the martial arts in general, written by the samurai warrior Miyamoto Musashi circa 1645. It is considered a classic treatise on military strategy. I sort of remember Leonardo mentioning Musashi at some point in the the series so he would have read it.

Burka or burqa: Regarding the burka not offence is intended regarding modesty perceptions which do vary; but I do think is a bit extreme for it renders the individual using it identity less which is dangerous if you think carefully about it (which one was it? the curtain (actual Persian translation to the face veil) to the... ?) and sadly sometimes right less too for if that takes for men not to behave like Mayflies that literally mass jump to the first unsuspecting female due to sex ratio issues well it does not speak much about self control. Not counting that is a health hazard for enveloping outer garments, such as the burqa, are believed to cause or worsen medical conditions in some individuals. In particular, they contribute to a predisposition for hypovitaminosis D, which can lead to rickets or osteoporosis since sun exposure is needed for vitamin D biosyntesis particularly in non equatorial countries as it happened with children being seldom exposed to the sun during the Industrial age; not enough to get skin cancer though (that is also a health hazard try to wear sunblock at all times and avoid tanning booths unless you want to be wrinkled by 30 that is the best beauty advice you can get) and may increase the risk of seizures in infants born to affected mothers_Chichiue: Father very formal and a bit archaic._

_Go: Japanese game similar to checkers _according to wiki The game is played by two players who alternately place black and white stones on the vacant intersections of a grid of 19×19 lines. Once placed on the board, stones cannot be moved elsewhere, unless they are surrounded and captured by the opponent's stones. The object of the game is to secure (surround) a larger portion of the board than the opponent. When a game concludes, the controlled spaces are counted by their respective players to determine which portion is the largest, as territory size is not easily apparent during play.

_Gyōji_ (行司) is a referee in professional sumo, but it is the name they give to the ghostly "referee?" in the Battle Nexus to those not familiar with the 2003 series.

_Jounin: Highest ranking shinobi, more of a Iga ninja clan classification popularized by Naruto than anything but it looks cool and they used it they four of them were awarded Chuunin degree in Fast Forward though Mickeys was a bit of no kid left behind kind of policy he forgot to show up for the exam afterall. One note is though the stealth and spionage groups were described since Sun Tsu in the 500 BCE the term shinobi only dates to the 8th century so a shinobi tribunal or ninja which be a more modern 15th century name would be only in the realms of the turtles.  
_

_Maslow: _according to wiki Maslow's hierarchy of needs is a theory in psychology, proposed by Abraham Maslow in his 1943 paper _A Theory of Human Motivation_.Maslow subsequently extended the idea to include his observations of humans' innate curiosity. His theories parallel many other theories of human developmental psychology, all of which focus on describing the stages of growth in humans. It is not consider entirely valid a has been critized as being based on the US society and being too ethnocentric with the self actualization on top but people in marketing love it.

_Pimiko__ or Himiko__: _ an obscure shaman queen of Yamataikoku in ancient Wa (Japan). Early Chinese dynastic histories chronicle tributary relations between Queen Himiko and the Cao Wei Kingdom (220-265), and record that the Yayoi period people chose her as ruler following decades of warfare among the kings of Wa. Early Japanese histories do not mention Himiko, but historians associate her with legendary figures such as Empress Consort Jingū, who was Regent (ca. 200-269 ) in roughly the same era as Himiko. Scholarly debates over the identity of Himiko and the location of her domain Yamatai have raged since the late Edo period, with opinions divided between northern Kyūshū or traditional Yamato province in present-day Kinki. "The Yamatai controversy", writes Keiji Imamura (1996:188), is "the greatest debate over the ancient history of Japan." Her domain might have been overthrown or she was related nobody is truly sure about it by Emperor Sujin a legendary (nobody knows for sure if he actually existed and when) 10th emperor so I guess it fits in the story. Though some argue she could have been of Jomon extraction the people who lived in Japan and have intriguing pottery particularly the Dogū, genetic ancestors of the Utari (Ainu) who could be distantly related to native Americans or of Caucasoid origin from 14,000 BCE to the 300 BCE until they were replaced or rather displaced by the Yayoi or modern Japanese coming from the Asian continent so I am taking that one as valid for the story. Regarding The Tengu Shredder honestly that thing had to be a recent release on the story for if that thing had been going rampage for a long while no people would have been left. I mean it basically took over New York in less than an hour so you get my point and I adapted that idea here.

Rei: Martial arts salute bow.

Salmonella: Turtles are carriers of salmonella so yeah sharing tooth brushes or cutlery would be hazardous for April.

Sengoku era: Warring States period in Japanese history was a time of social upheaval, political intrigue, and nearly constant military conflict that lasted roughly from the middle of the 15th century to the beginning of the 17th century. The name "Sengoku" was adopted by Japanese historians in reference to the Warring States period in Chinese history (Sengoku jidai (戦国時代?) in Japanese) which preceded the unification of China. Likewise, the Sengoku period in Japan would eventually lead to the unification of political power under the Tokugawa shogunate.

Shougi: Japanese Chess derived from the indian version which originate the other version known as the game of generals

Unification generals: short version is actually an interesting history Oda Nobunaga a.k.a. as the Demon king, Toyotomi Hideyoshi and Tokugawa Ieyasu. The pounder, the kneader and the one who ate the rice cake referring to the country as a mochi cake. They were basically warlords, feudal lords somehow allied at some times who held the power at one time in Japan 16th century. The first Tokugawa shogun was allied to Oda and then more than less to Toyotomi however once he was gone probably accounting to the fact that the former was originally a peasant he decided he owed no allegiance to his heir and took the shogun title crafting a lineage to the Minamoto clan which were the original shoguns; he held it for a year then retired in favor of his heir and kept the power "behind the throne" so to speak until his death, he ensured his position even more marrying one of his daughters into the royal family. One most remember that though the emperors were officially the heads of state their role was mostly being in Kyoto and performing ceremonial duties and the feudal lords (daymios) basically governed each province of the country until all were unified under the Tokugawa. I am trying to make it fit with the names and dates they used so the only historical figure who would fit would be Hattori Hanzo which you probably have heard from Kill Bill and other ninja flicks. He was an historical figure an Iga shinobi that Tokugawa put in charge of his Shibobi forces which he must have used to pacify the country behind scenes and he is attributed paranormal abilities like psychokinesis and precognition so our Utrom megalomaniac could fit the bill there. Also they have posthumous names which are used to refer to them but honestly I don´t see the Utrom calling anyone he met great Light of anything. The nicknames are historical too.

Usagi:is the word for rabbit in Japanese it is also use as a name as SM viewers remember. So Usagi Yojimbo is translations is literally rabbit bodyguard.

Yamato: Ancient name of Japan or a region in Japan the oldest I could find. Please note Japan is a foreign name they refer to themselves as Nippon or Nihon.

New poll regarding best day to release new chapters

Well thanks a lot for reading and even more for reviewing they do encourage me._  
_


	59. Watershed

_All TMNT characters are copyrighted by Nickelodeon (Viacom) and were created by Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird. Gizmo guy LazyTown Entertainment. Trick or treat by Katekyo or OSTER project translated by ArtemisA, Cantarella by KurousaP and Whiteflame translated by ArtemisA. Notes at the end. _

* * *

**Watershed**

_In my cyberspace, I'm felling happy_  
_'cause everything's in place here on my floppies_  
_It's true I can't deny_  
_I'm just Gizmo Guy_

"How many times do I need to tell you all?" The annoyed purple clad exclaimed, seriously considering throwing the screwdriver to his ever-meddling siblings while answering a call "Nothing... and I mean nothing happened." He was irked: the topic had been brought again; not that since his awkward awakening a few days ago, when he found himself literally over the oblivious also unconscious blue clad, he had been basically forbidden from Leo's vicinity and had spent most of his time outside fixing the lights, the music and even some last minute details over email or phone regarding the flowers, invitations and the catering for the big day that loomed in the air, juggling the tight budget he was on. All that while April was on a last minute trip delivering a piece that a collector had bought on the other side of the country. Actually, it was amazing how many things were needed. In the movies, they made it look so easy and since the starlets married on and off so easily, one would think it was. It was miracle not everyone just eloped to Vegas! He knew he would. He stopped, shaking the brief glimpse of Leo with a veil, the same vision he had had the day before as April's wedding-dress arrived and Mickey had tripped it over her. He shook his head; but then they wouldn't be able to attend of course otherwise. His IT work experience and time scheduler for Cowabunga Carl had prepared him a bit but... "No... not you mam but... for the third time, white and red carnations were... They are how much? And what does the weather in Chile have to do..."

"Yeah, yeah, dude. So you and Leo were just enjoying the cold weather while practicing... Let me guess! Some harmless ninju-sutra moves, right?" asked Mike a bit sarcastic, leaving a package that had arrived in the morning.

Don shrugged a bit. They were not about to let it go. Well he would not either. Only the sudden presence of April back then had managed to soften it a bit, otherwise Raph or Mikey might have done something to his physical integrity. But aside from that threat looming in the air, he felt restless about that nightmare. It had been so bizarre and unexpected for he had felt like a spectator, as though it was not really his dream, which was right? Because what else could it be ... and for a minute that girl... Ryo... whatever had looked like... Leo? And why was he unconscious in the first place? He had taken off the jacket for sparring but …? Of course sparring with clothes had always been a major hindrance since they usually tripped over them. Mikey seemed to have an unexplained allergy to them. And even though they should practice more wearing them, the clothing made them less conspicuous. After all, that was what Leo had insisted - in vain - many times. He sighed, remembering Splinter's stern glare. Leo had taken a while to awaken and she remained ever oblivious. His master's words had chilled him as he could see the harsh glare he gave him. He never yelled of course but nevertheless had let him feel his disappointment about his behavior, without really letting him explain and when he insisted on the exorcism path after that mind-scarring vision... And was it not that that the sensei had gone to seek to the Battle Nexus? The old sensei master had just sighed and said, a bit distant: "I don't understand it, but the Daymio said it can't be done since there is only one soul. How can one exorcise it?

His train of thought was interrupted by Mikey. "Can't blame you though. I mean, had it been me, I probably would also be all into the whole two-turtle-horizontal-tango." He added, a bit cynical.

Don shook his head, trying to spare himself the pain and restraining himself so as not to throw something at his sibling, cousin or whatever... when they were suddenly interrupted by an arriving Leo carrying a heavy parcel on her arms.

"So you want tango too Mikey?" Leo´s voice suddenly said in a neutral tone,

The speechless Mikey went livid at the question because, of course, he had been joking and he had not yet considered it because it was... well, weird and whatever, while looking at Leo's hazel deep eyes as Don glare pierced him.

"Well I...I.. think … you serious?…I thought you were with..." He stuttered, moving his arms in Don´s direction. "I know bout the polyary turtle thing but... I mean, dating isn't like required or something first? " he gulped nervously.

"What are you talking about?" the disconcerted Leo said. "I just want to finish the playlist but I keep getting requests. Mostly yours."

"Ah... That!" exclaimed the relieved and disappointed sighing Mikey.

"Well, yes. What else were you talking about? Something about a turtle tango?"

"Nothing... Nothing! Just that it take two to tango and that is a latin thing, so you'd know... and, of course, not that I am interested or what would... you would put some Barney too right?" Mikey said, blurting the words as they came.

"I'll ask April about that." Leo replied, a bit doubtful that the bride and groom-to-be would appreciate the cheery 'I love you, you love me' song as a first dance recommendation as fitting as it sounded. "But if you want a tango or something else; write me a list or you would have to look for it yourself. I don´t remember seeing any on Aprils mp3 player. You wouldn't believe some things she has! I have yet to find the fanfare for Star Wars though... The whole theme thing... Do you need any help Don?"

"Bet he does" Mikey blurted.

"No, not now Leo..." Don managed to articulate, glaring at his tactful brother and taking the heavy package from her, unintentionally touching her hands and letting them linger a little more than needed and then taking back his hands as though he had touched fire, letting the parcel fall. "You should not be..."

Leo managed to catch it with her lightning reflexes. "Wow... Watch it! It could be fragile. You OK?" she asked, with a look of concern in her eyes.

His eyes met Leo's as they both tried to catch it and Don quickly averted his sight.

"Yes I am fine and you really shouldn't be here and carrying... things. You should not overexert yourself." Don replied wondering if Mike had ditched his shift on Leo vigilance again.

She looked at them for a minute and sighed a bit annoyed since they all have been even more jumpy around her since she awoke after that bizarre dream that evoked some older dreams she had not had in years and that pitiful glare, overflowed with guilt, master Splinter had given her when he asked if she was OK and apologized for who knew what. "Well, Mikey forgot one so I thought... Come on, I feel fine and well... I could help! I mean, I am available!" She didn't like a bit being admonished.

Considering the pregnant silence that followed, she sighed. "Whatever I will be well doing nothing much anyway, so if you need my help, well, you will tell me right?"

Don just nodded and Leo left.

As soon as Leo was within reasonable distance Mikey said: "Is she always that bold? I mean, that was so lame of you... Now I get it. She made the first move, didn't she?" Mikey asked, though it was more a statement. "Of course she did!" he added, almost despaired.

Don just huffed and grumbled. "She does not remember a thing about anything, OK? Less of all, being a... you know... And you are worried if she made a pass on me?"

"Well, I mean... having me around, how could that... No offense, dude but look at you! And, dude, how could you... and how could "she", like, not know? I mean, I have been having... you know private boy time since well... She even walked on me once and... well..."

Don huffed, not wanting to know particular details of Mikey's intimacy, and even less if it involved Leo in any form.

"Not all us are pervs, you know?" Don said, trying to end the conversation.

"Right, like you never... At least, I was not considering family members playing doctor. Don't tell me you expect me to believe you and Leo... You know, I have seen your computer collection, dude!"

Don face went livid.

"You really, like, really haven't?" Mikey exclaimed, overly surprised. "I mean, like why not? Was it me... I mean, are you not...? "

Don was on the verge of tears since his father´s attitude and comments the day before had been frankly. "Why do you all believe I would just...what kind of... just who do you think I am? a purple dragon or something?"

"A teen with a huge crush... But man! So she's is, like, available then?" An idea crossed his mind. "Darn don't tell me she is, like, you know, not interested? So bunny guy and her, you know... It is not that cursed Karai right? I guess it makes sense though, not as appealing as portrayed actually, ugh! "

"Karai? " Don huffed and clenched his fist on the screwdriver and gave him a murderous glare.

"Just asking dude. I think I heard the fridge alarm. I am needed in the kitchen, see ya" He said, disappearing and leaving Don wandering in the barn. 'Why does everything goes back to that most elusive day?' He had made several researches, he had even hacked into Saki enterprises network and had come empty handed. Well, it was not like she will publish her ninja activities on her facebook account like Chaplin seemed to carelessly do, for he had been rather easy to find the guy who accepted anyone as friends, probably trying to reach a tally mark or something and had actually put confidential in many of his activities, describing himself as a mixture between 00 agent and Scotty, which was unfair, because that description should be trademarked to him not to that red hair wannabe, and mentioning the company he worked for, including URLs and had put himself in a relationship with a certain Ms. Oroku along with a shrine-like motif, which Don highly doubted the latter would have appreciated, and had spared Don of a longer search in finding Karai's complete surname and web page, which, if it even existed, was probably in Japanese, which would increase the search difficulty for his reading skills were not as top notch as he would like, not that he wanted to send her a pig for her farm or see her prom pictures or something, of course.

But finding the correct spelling and writing had been a horrifying experience until he stumbled on Chaplin's facebook page and found the king of the foot mountain's one. He had afterward painstakingly used a 56kb phone connection, hacked in their intranet. Yet after a long research, the only thing of interest, aside from the military development venture deals with governments all over the World regarding patents, some of which he was sure he had seen in Bishops forces use; He doubted Bishop knew of its origins. Was a fairly recent high priority memo of certain divisions referred to as 'Kitaryuashi' which would translate as Dragon Foot North regarding the expenses and supplies, some project, named Kaguya had required.

At first, Don was not sure if it had to do with a satellite venture, until he found it involved a multidisciplinary staff that included, disturbingly enough, psychiatrist, a veterinarian and, apparently, certain drugs, whose names he had not been able to identify for they were coded, in discrete amounts which was odd, for it seem to be completely unrelated to the Pharmaceutical branch for which it would be pretty normal. All while technically bashing Karai's lack of leadership, the only answer that he had gotten was a Ryuashi center supervised which had apparently ended the thread. He really did not know what to make of it for there were apparently also a Ryuashi South, East, West which handled the things likewise, so those would be the other big wigs Raph had mentioned.

When he tried to get info about this Ryuashi organization thing, his connection had been severed violently and, he eventually ended with a wrecked computer and was now being forced to use Leo´s, which he had brought further to analyze while feeling terribly intrusive in Leo's life, but it was a needed measure not that he had found much anyway: while it was a working computer, it was not nearly as powerful as his defunct one and also he could not jeopardize it much, for the local junkyard was too far and it did not have as much tech-garbage as the ones in the city.

Hopefully Honeycutt, would arrive soon enough and give him a helping robot hand. The rest had been vague leads from mysteriously disappeared persons regarding the other businesses of Saki enterprises, a very deep and taxing research, in a sense, it reminded him of Winter´s Ltd and funny enough, the former had taken some of the latter's deal after a suspicious last minute merge after the disappearance of it's HQ along with the head. Too bad Winters had taken all his secrets with him, save for a generous compensation for April which had been used to make the repairs the farm urgently needed and paid for the wedding. There was a lot more information of course, but most had been too abstract and unrelated: share holder reports, taxes reports, balances, the reports on a Oroku child and youth re-adaptation something that sounded like a recruiting center for Foot ninja, for what he could tell, import reports and a curious note about Karai that her adoption seem to coincide with the year of Yoshi's demise. He wondered about the Utroms schedule on that particular year: hunt down Hamato Yoshi for whatever reason and adopt a child, it probably made sense somehow. Honestly, if he was not that well-versed in the Foot, he was sure it would have been a matter of time before someone had nominated that creature for the peace Nobel or something. He was or rather had been honorary citizen of many nations. After all, he had made enough donations to earn it. He did not want to really let his mind wander about it for the scenarios his mind concocted ranged from the absurd to the bizarre with the lingering question: Had they really left Leo on the Foot hold for 5 weeks while they... did nothing? He felt a knot in his throat. But had she been really there? Because then, how had she escaped? Not that she was not good at that but then why had she not said a thing and the most disturbing question, the one he could not shake from his mind despite the Mortu's message of the Shredder's whereabouts, by whose order?

But then considering the shady business of the Foot or whatever they named themselves, he thought, remembering the human experimentation they had come across in the underground where they had met Sydney and the other former mutant humans, it really could be something entirely unrelated. His train of thought was interrupted by the sound of the hang up phone from the florist he had managed to contact after half an hour. He simply slapped himself in the forehead and hoped April would consider origami flower arrangements cute.

* * *

The big day finally arrived. Donnie had managed to finally acquire reasonable priced flowers and the mercenary outfit for the tall groom which fitted the vigilante more than a tuxedo ever would. Fortunately April had not taken the whole theme too far and had decided not to don the infamous double bun hairstyle so she looked radiant in the strapless mermaid dress she had gotten.

The ceremony was uneventful at best with Mikey and Raph standing the guard as Bridesmaid and Best man and the reception took place within the barn and then outside once they had removed the benches. Casey had managed to hire some local boys as waiters and everything went smoothly for the most part.

"Ah Leo this is Mr. Acurerts" The bride said bringing with her a brown haired man of unfathomable age "You know the one who bought your calligraphy works, he helped me quite a bit with the import of some pieces and he insisted on..."

"April! Aunt May is... Hi Robin. Pleased to meet you. I'm the bride's sister and single." she said with a wide smile dressed in a fairy costume.

April caught her attention "Earth to Robin something about aunt May "

"Darn, April why don't you introduce me to the cute ones" she said regretful. "Well I mean I never thought she would actually dress up as catwoman, I mean how come she managed to fit in that one is beyond me and now she is flirting... I mean terrifying the guests... Actually, do you have a camera?"

"the 70 year old Alzheimer May? I would look into it, come on" She said grabbing Robin and looked briefly at Leo with a somewhat begging glare. "Want me to help?"

"No Leo. She is basically harmless, she just probably remember her good old days and has had too much to drink I think, right Robin? You two just enjoy the party." April said taking Robin with her.

"Akuretsu." the man corrected "Duke. Pleased to make your acquaintance." he greeted, extending his hand.

Leo bowed before awkwardly extending her hand "I thank you for sponsoring my feeble calligraphy attempts." Leo said humbly a bit uneasy. She really had a dislike for being surrounded by so many people and without her sword to make it even worse. It made her anxious. However this man seemed to irradiate a self confidence aura that was hard to ignore and that felt awfully familiar while giving her this odd feeling, making her struggle between running away and staying.

"No snide remarks, no witty comments about adding party crashing to my felony list?" the man asked a bit surprised not releasing her hand but continued. "About your calligraphy, it's not feeble; just unpolished which is entirely understandable given the circumstances. With the appropriate guidance however... You really are an acquired taste you know?

"Hm What?" Leo asked intrigued, trying to get back her hand when a young woman interrupted.

"LEO! Is that you!"

Leo looked at the young woman baffled trying to find out who it was as she had been doing most of the time that day trying to figure out when they became that popular. She looked at the dark skinned girl with purple streaks and huge eyes"

"Angel?" Leo exclaimed surprised at the height and other obvious changes in the little girl she remembered which led to a more disturbing time gap she had previously considered.

"It's been a while. Come on, take me to dance. Mikey is too busy showing off with his costume friends and I am out of a date right now. Figures"

Feeling not entirely happy with Angel last statement, she turned to the man "I beg your pardon Mr. Akuretsu, would you... " Leo said finally getting her hand back almost as if awakening from an hypnotic trance.

"Of course. You cannot let such a lovely lady waiting" the man said not entirely happy, referring to Angel.

"Now that is a gentlemen, not the trash I usually date... So, how did your training in the jungle go?" Angel interrupted Leo's pondering.

"Jungle?" Leo repeated. "Fine I guess"

"But... I mean Leo, two years? Mikey did become a bit of a cry baby for a while, well more, until he found the Cowabunga thing"

"Cowabunga who?" Leo said.

"You know, the entertainer gig, can you believe I still get calls sometimes? He has got talent, really good with kids, I guess" she added, a bit sad.

"Entertainer?" Leo asked, appalled and then added "...You have... grown?" referring to the changes in her friend.

"Well, so have you and yeah... I mean I am a now a big girl, you know"

"Really? Like how old?" Leo said inquisitively.

"Yeah, I mean its been, what, 5 years since you, sort of, dragged my sorry behind from the PD, so do the math." She laughed bitterly. "Never been good at that though"

"Are you OK? Can I be of any help?" Leo offered reassuringly a bit concerned.

"Fine just... I mean, why are always the complete jerks I end up dating when.."

Leo looked at her more carefully. There was something else and then she felt it. "You are with child?"

Angel paled. "So you are going to preach me too about how stupid I was? Nana already had her go." She started crying.

Leo felt confused about what she was supposed to do or say.

"Well what can I say... life goes on?" Leo said.

Angel snorted. "Yeah right, sorry I get a bit...but I mean how could you understand? It ain't like any of you would end in a situation like this, right? And I mean you would not walk away from the knock up idiot right... darn! Why can't the idiots I dated be more like all of you."

The previously happy Angel seemed to borderline hysteria

"Angel, I know you were not expecting something like this, at least not now, I guess. Not everything fits a determinate role... like us." Leo said remembering all she could about what she had read and seen in sitcoms which was not particularly informative. "And you are absolutely right, how could I? I cannot honestly relate to your situation, but all I can tell you is this: it will turn out somehow, your grandmother has not thrown you out right?" wondering if she could even offer her shelter, and feeling she actually relate, but did not know why.

"Of course not! She is not happy though" Angel replied.

"Of course, she is not happy to be a great grandmother so young right?"

Angel giggled and Leo gave her supportive pat on the back.

"Whatever happens, you know you can count on us right? Do you want us to give the guy a beating or something?" she added.

"He is not worth it" Angel replied.

"Should I bring you tea or something?" Leo asked.

"No, you know, could you like not tell them, I dunno what I am going to do right now?"

Leo nodded.

"Whatever you want, seems the Bridesmaid Mikey has finally noticed your absence."

Mikey dressed in his Turtle Titan outfit approached them warily. "Are you two, like, Ok?"

"I am fine, Mikey" Angel sniffed.

Mikey gave Leo a distrustful glare she could not understand and felt compelled to leave.

"Well I will leave you two... April wanted me to keep company to someone, see ya around."

"Leo did not said... anything that might have... you know like freaked you... out or something right?" Mikey asked.

"It was probably the other way around." Angel said. "Well this is a party right? Well lets!"

Leo sat down in a corner table and Don brought her a cup of green tea.

"You Ok?" He asked concerned

"I am fine, don't worry. Just a bit overcrowded I guess."

Don nodded. "I will be with Professor Honeycutt and LH for a while. You think you can manage?"

Leo had been sort of reintroduced to them shortly before the ceremony since they had troubles getting out of the city, but could not clearly remember where had she met them and had not been fully updated to them since... well a massive crocodile and a robot were not precisely common acquaintances after all, but they blended pretty fine along with the justice-whatever-crowd so she had not really gone deeply into it.

"Don't worry about me, go, have some fun; if I get tired I will simply slip back to the house or something."

Don gave her an odd glare and seemed eager to say something when he caught a glimpse of Raph.

While honestly wanting someone to spend time with her which she, of course, could ask but since Raph had been mostly elusive and she did not feel like fighting, Don had taken a mostly fleeting stances and disappeared as soon as he saw the others along with his bizarre attitude and she, well, she felt weird around him too. Those dream involving Don had been disturbing. Why would he and his presence be...never mind, Mikey seemed to be odd around her, nothing serious though, one could tell he was keeping something while trying to be supportive. And master Splinter had been hijacked by Casey's mother and had been truly wary? around her. Leo shook her head and sipped her tea.

_fukai fukai kiri no naka youen ni hibiku koe_

_Deep, deep within the fog, a captivating voice echoes_  
_oide oide kono mori no motto okufukaku made_  
_Come, come, until you're deeper into the heart of the forest_

_hayaku hayaku isogiashi de dekiru dake chikaku ni_  
_Hurry, hurry, you'll only get closer if you're quick_

_oide oide saa tanoshii_  
_Come, come, now isn't it fun?_

_asobi wo hajimeyou_

_Let the games begin_

"Why do you insist on that I wonder?" A voice behind her said catching her by surprise for she had not felt it coming.

"Ah? Excuse me?"

"My dear, it should be obvious a slight change of appearance is hardly noticeable, right? The others would not have been... appropriated, don't you think?"

"Sorry, I don't seem to follow, Mr Akuretsu." Leo said, not understanding the man's bold attitude but finding it disturbingly familiar.

"The tea." He said, snatching it from her hands to Leo's baffled eyes "You would much rather have something less... bitter and more aromatic like Jasmine perhaps?" He called one of the waiters who brought two cups with hot water. The man procured a bag branded from a tea something company from his coat and extracted two small balls made of leaves and dropped them in the water.

Leo looked at it as the ball unfurled revealing a white lily flower while giving a pleasant aroma.

"Wow! it's beautiful" she exclaimed. "Can it be drunk?" Having a slight feeling of dejà vu, not really wanting to disturb the cup, she was having mixed thought about the not-taking-things from strangers, though this one had been sort of introduced, right?

"I guess, they used to be just kazari (decorations) but nowadays they actually include a reasonable tea on it." The man said, taking a cup of tea for himself and for some reasons, to Leo that seemed a bit odd.

"You are not this Miyamoto Usagi guy I keep hearing about right?" Leo said trying to understand why this man she had never seen before felt so familiar.

"Apart that he has been dead for while, I honestly don't understand why you like him." The man answered. "Yes, he wrote a book, that smelly vagrant philosopher never good enough to serve to the Shogun, I made sure of it, an anarchist if there was ever one that is all. Most like to remember the fallen generals, Napoleon, Julius Caesar, Hannibal, even the glorious Alexander. None of them had to live with the aftermath of actually ruling a land, they preached from the trenches. Governing, that is the challenge. Now his contemporary Ieyasu, that is more interesting don´t you think? He established a 300 year rule after all."

Leo followed the conversation. "But I read the Tokugawa were an autocratic regime that oppressed the land and the common people had no rights. They closed the border, secluding Japan for 300 years. But I was not..."

"Men of their time, a necessary measure, we already had this conversation, did we not? I tell you a new one, a better one so you understand my point of view. There was a great king on a secluded vast land who conquered and ruled with iron grip a fertile land around the same time of the Sengoku Era, but in a different continent. It was a proud and apparently honorable people, yet they had no heart for the deceiving nature of us shinobi, all were the same before the laws. The fools! Their honor led them to the destruction. They even shared supplies with the enemy, so no one could blame it on the enemy being hungry; they had a great leadership under this king: apparently he had expanded the territories, made the inevitable enemies on the way, made some right decisions for a while..."

"What happened? Leo asked intrigued.

"He, unlike the Tokugawa, doubted and his people and enemies even... his whole land and civilization paid in blood and slavery for his mistakes as everything seemed to conspire against him. They might have fallen anyway due to plagues alone and other things but his decision speedup the process."

"That is awful!" Leo said.

"Well they were also ritualistic cannibals if that soothes your mind and pretty good with Astronomy also despite their technical deficiencies; you see that is the way of the World, the universe after all always been. If you fail those you care about end up paying for your mistakes always not that they ever understood; but it is irrelevant in the grand view. I guess that Miyamoto was right on something though, you should not get too attached to anything but these days, I seem to disagree." He added looking at her, making her feel flustered.

"Enough of all old thing though, this a celebration after all"

"Right, so were does April know you from, again?" Leo asked.

The man gave her an unreadable glare. "You know, at a point, she was indirectly working for me, a shame indeed, a waste of talent for what I read on her resume all due to an unfortunate incident but her current non scientific occupation brought us together. Art imports and exports. Ms. O'Neil required our services to import certain pre-Columbine pieces which we were "tricky" to export to say the least and she was put in contact with my office by her employer. It is a very profitable business and more refined than the others you know about security, pest removal, defensive material import/export aside from the ordinary less eye catching ones all in all a Buddhism venue... for the most part."*

"what does that mean?" Leo asked a bit puzzled.

"You know no narcotics and mind boggling substances or human trade we are honorable after all too much greed involved also" the man finished.

Leo decided to change the topic not really wanting to find out about the brides questionable activities or associations, at least not today.

"What do yo think of the party, the theme an all? It must be unusual; You weren't informed of it?" Leo said referring to his apparent lack of costume

"Fitting, don't you think? I've been to some quite peculiar ones before this, hardly registers. Why they do it at all eludes me though."

"Well, it is a commitment of sort as April explained me yesterday, choosing to be at someones side by your own will and making a public announcement about it."

"Really? I always thought it was more of a matter of convenience in the old days and in some parts still, families decided the matches depending on the suitability of the spouse. Freedom of choice is quite new really, and since they split so frequently, it seems more of a question of wrong choices as with your pregnant friend. You know, until the Meiji era, it was not such a big deal after all; just more clan members."

"How do you..." Leo inquired.

"Been around long enough to recognize those slight changes." The man added

"You have never been married I guess?" Leo asked.

The man looked at her baffled. "Married? I once had one as it was convenient." He said, remembering some of the "spouses" he had taken who were no more than decoration to keep appearances about his fake humanity. He had not even talked more than once with most. The last had been before one of the so called World Wars and had taken his precious sword with her.

"You are divorced then?" Leo asked again.

"Divorced? I think I would qualify as widower if you want to be exact, but why would one indulge in that custom this days...Karai's adoption obeyed a more pragmatic issue I assure you."

"Karai?" Leo giggled. " You have a child named spicy?" Leo asked somehow giddy, somehow the person in front of her had a strange effect on her.

"assuming it was in Japanese...Are you feeling fine? You do not seem to recognize me at all." The man said impatiently

"Yeah just..." Leo shook her head and gave him an ashamed smile" You got me. Sorry, you have to forgive me. My memory is a bit off these days, so I can't really... I did not want to be rude… We do know each other right? From before? I am sorry if I don't quite recall."

She could have sworn the man had laughed.

_mitsumeau sono shisen tojita sekai no naka_

_Our lines of sight intersect within this closed world._

_kizukanai furi wo shite mo_

_Although you play dumb,_

_yoi wo satoraresou_

_I can almost feel your infatuation._

"I know enough to know you love the Dawn for the quiescent and serene feeling of it, you absolutely loath the taste of green tea for to you: it tastes like a recrimination and failure but you seem unable to go on without it anyway; that unbeknownst to all you don't particularly fancy blue or any color if I had to pick it would be none but white...since it hold all colors so it does not make you choose, that you love to disappear into the water whenever you feel upset and probably would stay under it all day if you could, you dislike your secrets to be in the open even if only in a masquerade like this one and to know you are wearing no costume, save for that distasteful cloth around your eyes and I think I finally figured the real reason behind your two year long retreat. Yes, you could say that I have become quite acquainted with you, enough to miss our evening go games and to know this crowded place is making you dizzy. I guess the cloak does not fit you correctly; would you consider walking with me so you get some air and maybe have a friendly Go match? Or have you improved your Shogi?" He asked a bit taunting pulling the bandana "That is better, I do like your eyes; I have a gift for you come..." He said as he pulled her by the bracelet on her left wrist.

Gensou no saimin no oboreta mama de ii

_It's okay to be lost, mesmerized by mirages_

_Mekakushi wo hazushicha omoshirokunai deshou_

_If you loosen the blindfold it won't be fun_

_ashimoto gochuui sono te wa boku ga hikukara_

_Watch your step! I'll take you by the hand_

_sono mi wo ima suguni_

_so right away_

_yudanenasai saa_

_entrust yourself to me_

"Professor you needed to talk to me." Don said

"Oh yes Donatello I finally cracked it."

"You did!" Don exclaimed.

"Oh dear I was right, I did not expect it to be so interesting though.., the inner workings of Utrom were quite enlightening to say the least. No wonder our friend Mortu had such a hard time to summon the tribunal, and it was done in an off capital location to prevent... you know interruptions, they technically had no right to trial him as he stated on the trial, not according to Utrom standard law due to his background, it is a wonder they even got away with a sentence this time instead of a third or fourth reeducation therapy."

"What do yo mean?" Don asked a bit unsettled.

"Well less start: Highest score ever on the Utrom validation universal test, that is how the Utroms are classified into a chaste system, youngest member of the council, condecorated service during the Utrom-Rylian conflict. This fellow has quite a resume and still has supporters in the home-world. Despite everything, some say it is merely propaganda, he is still heralded as a Utrom hero in some circles and they are partially right he did a lot for the Utrom welfare at some time."

"What? Well now about the links to this Rylian creature?" Don asked not wanting to particularly dwell on that creatures prowess.

"Mortu's name is mentioned as a former unit member under him along with some of the members of the Earth based council as Law enforcers of the trial of a Rylian creature of unrecorded name referred as the "Star treader", a now defunct Rylian agent who was accused of several attempts on the Utroms, classified as extremely dangerous; that is thought to have been associated with Ch´rell for some unfathomable reason. Most information about that creature is highly classified though, as only to high council members discretion; but you know one of his alias, Duke Akurets is not Utrom but Rylian which is extremely odd considering the distaste Utroms had for them and since he was reported to be particularly averse to them at some time."

"What does it mean?" Don asked not particularly interested.

"Star Avenger" the robot replied.

"Have ya seen Fearless?" Raph asked bluntly after not having seen Leo in a while. He had looked around, he had not feel like taking his shift but since Leo was no longer with Mikey, as Angel and him were too busy in the dessert table or rather with it, he tried his luck with Don, which he actually pitied. Last time he had seen her, she seem to be enjoying herself with whomever she was talking to, she was even smiling. Good for her! With their luck the only female of their species would probably fall for the first non turtle passerby and that would be... It was his turtle luck of course apparently, fighting with Leo was the only thing he did right. That would made them a classical TV couple, right? Not that he really wanted to consider it seriously. The actual wedding with Casey Solo waiting for his princess April had brought to light some thing they never talked about: the prospective of being lonely for life being one of them, but they were too young for a life commitment anyway.

"She was at the table to the East, have you check the house?" Don asked anxious.

"Not there, I was nearby Casey and I did not see her." and added "She was cozy with some car named guy Acurr... Acrurer...Acureta something last time I checked though according to Angel." he said

Don felt a chill "Acurerts?"

By the time they reached the table Leo had been last seen the only thing they found was the blue bandana carelessly forgotten on the chair and an untouched cup of tea with a flower on it.

* * *

**Author's Notes**

Thanks to LadyKassy for her beta.

Thanks to deathoftoast, Littleshampoo, Aroa S. Quadrale, LadyDetia and Margui for their reviews.

* In Buddhism those two are mentioned in particular as not advised trades so no apologetic intended but they would be: not elegant enough for this megalomaniac and too unpredictable he can't control all Hun would be involved in anything he could get his hand on though and if you ever watched Lord of War you would understand. This is to bring up a thing since it is common to find very devout to any doctrine you can think of felons. I still remember watching chaplains in a documentary trying to make soldiers understand that killing in battle was not really murder according to the scriptures ,talking about lawyering the laws.

I sometimes wonder why in the movies they make the information retrieval thing so easy particularly since the sheer volume tends to be overwhelming even in a house computer so getting the correct information (except passwords and such) particularly if its coded would not be an easy task unless you get an insider to look at what you are looking for which Don lacks.

Miyamoto Musashi is described as a vagrant and not to have been particularly neat and tidy though he must have showered whenever he met his acquaintances, also he tried several times to get a job from the shogun but his services where declined for unknown reasons so he wrote a book and founded his own school so no big loss.

One particular interesting detail in the movie was the millennial statues logistics, since I doubt they would be easy and legally exported since they would qualify as invaluable pieces (they auction one recently and it hit like 4M something); talking about the Art underground market that plunders archeological sites all over the World sometimes even Museums when they get bold. So April must have contacted with people on that "line" to take 4 life size pretty heavy and ancient statues to NY city from whichever country the loot..took them from and since Stockman was working for the Shredder so yes she was unknowingly on the Foot payroll at sometime!

Angel's age: She is a girl from the hood that becomes close to the turtles en the 2k3 series when they drag her from the PD before she got fully initiated by Casey's request on her grandmothers behalf she is not stupid or irresponsible she just had an accident and even the most reliable contraceptive method is not 100% safe they are close though except old reliable abstinence unless you claim alien abduction or something. Her estimated age I don't know it; but my bet is she would have been at least 11 or 12 if not 13 when introduced almost the turtle's age she was probably just short. My reasoning: no one lets a 10 or 8 year old to loiter and since they are still too attached to whatever household they might have regardless of its deficiencies they actually obey until the teenage years. A funny thing with the turtles is that we seldom think of their age for real in the comic Leo was 13 when he had a face off with the Shredder! And though before the coming of Age was 15 for boys (in Japan they got a true name at that age) and even as low as 11 or 15 for girls depending on the society you refer to; the truth was they almost always went to live in the husband or wife family household or with their supervision if both were underaged and were not usually considered adults for real, yeah you have a kid, that does not make you an adult, it is true even today it is legal to have kids, marry and sometimes join the army but you can't vote. Yes Musashi is shown fighting in Sekihagara at 15 and also almost getting himself killed for no good reason in the novel the historical one was 17 at the time and his participation is in doubt. The truth is before 18 almost no society took anyone seriously hence the infamous regencies "you might be anointed and all but we don't trust you to rule at 8."

On a side note for women the early marriages and pregnancies added to the high child birth mother and child mortality accounted to the historical exclusion of women in all societies for a long while since women were kept busy, uneducated and had very short lifespans before the advent of antibiotics. Which is the main problem in the teen pregnancies that seem to be in boom lately unfortunately; on a cultural note according to the Chrysanthemum and the sword in old Japan out of wedlock births aside from high nobility were not particularly frown upon if in doubt consult the tale of Genji and were quite common maybe it was even an asset (proved not to be barren) just more house hold personnel with the high mortality rate in children it was even needed, the Meiji Western influenced era changed that notion; so to a very long span not particularly interested creature it would be a human oddity.

Cantarella and Trick or treat the vocaloids which synthetic voices are used to created pieces by talented japanese amateurs since the english ones don't sound a good with dark and objectionable stories and extremely catchy tunes reminds me of Tom Jones Delilah

Thanks for reading and even more if you review and on a side note thanks a lot for putting it on favorites but if you want to get the updates make sure you check the alert one as well.

Well on the ending note Ganbare Nippon!


	60. Omake Part 3 Bonus Chapter

All TMNT characters are copyrighted by Mirage studios and were created by Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird and now belong to Viacom.

**Third or Fourth? extraordinary meeting for a Little secret story (Omake)**

Author: Ahem! is everyone accounted for, now?

Shredder: Nice ending

All except Shredder: What?

Distraught Leonardo: You gotta be kidding me?

Shredder: There is a wedding and open endings are the best, aren't they? I win and everyone, meaning me, is happy. What else is there to ask?

Splinter: Leonardo! What is it you have to say about this?

Raph: Leo and tin head? In what freaking universe would that be right?

Mikey: Dude! That is totally not funny... RENET! Where are you?

Leonardo: Don't invoke her... You! Fix it!

Author: Splinter mentioned the wedding thing, not I.

Menacing Shredder: I haven't got eternity, I've places to conquer, empires to bring to ruin… I am a busy tyrant, you know? And you did ponder it.

Author: Well yeah… But you know, my over creative mind that kept making plots and subplots... And since when do I ask your opinion?

Shredder: Since you brought me in to this and dragged me for how many chapters?... We should consult the readers, if there are any left.

Don: And you are complaining?… I am supposed to be a main character. You usurper!

Author: Of course, they are... right? Since when this became a democracy?

Author snickers.

Menacing Shredder: What is so funny you puny human?

Author: Me and my plot developing mind just thought the reason why you wouldn't like swimming. Believe me, angering the author is not such a great idea either. Yes koi carps can be...

Menacing characters.

**Author:** All right, All right, just let me get the thread again and I will figure out something and finally finish it, not in the next chapter but soon enough.

* * *

AN. Next real chapter is on edition. Still wondering on the best day to make updates.

Thanks to LadyKassy for the corrected version which does look better

Thanks to all who review and to all of you who still follow the story.


	61. Ambivalence

_All TMNT characters are now copyrighted by Nickelodeon (Viacom) and were created by Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird. __Nokogiri to Pendulum_ by Peperon-P, _Bare Grace misery_ by Holopainen and Phantom Sound & Vision record company_ and this is a non-profit fanfic. _

* * *

"I am with... an old friend of ours." the turtle replied sarcastically.

* * *

**AMBIVALENCE**

Leo found herself on her plastron as she slowly opened her eyes, still a bit dozy and yawned while stretching a bit, feeling particularly rested.

"You were... absolutely delightful yesterday," a voice said, startling her.

She raised her head and tried to seat down, not fully understanding where she was or with whom, vaguely remembering a quite entertaining Go match with someone who had actually brought his own board and stones, as odd as that sounded, with a somehow not so new acquaintance of April and… swimming?

"Unfortunately, swimming has never been an activity I have needed to devote myself to." The man continued. "Dawn observation was however surprisingly entertaining despite my... companion… dozing off."

Leo blushed a bit ashamed, not really sure what to make of the man's words, having a strange if not comical vision of a terrified fleshy bait? like creature being hunted down by a shoal of gold fish followed by a huge koi carp and then someone commenting behind her back while facing and astoundingly beautiful but somehow empty pond "I could swear they put those accursed things in fashion just to spite me." She shook her head somehow it reminded her of that weird dream she had had, which was... unsettling.

She finally managed to remember with whom she was supposed to be and his name, which for some reason sounded wrong but was the only one she could think of.

"Mr. Akuretsu I..." She then realized how high the sun already was, which implied a lot of trouble for her and tried to stand up. "I… I must..."

"Still with that... You were gone for weeks and even more as you implemented that absolute justice stance in that lawless jungle following your own version of the journey of the sword as you were entitled, following your fellow nitoryu user inspiration, though to be honest I like preemptive measures: best hit first, hit fast, don't let them know what hit them." He then softened his tone. "To tell the truth I would be surprised if they have even noticed your absence. Why do you put up with them when they cause you so much distress is a mystery indeed."

"Family can't live with it; can't live withou…" Leo replied automatically.

"So they say, that is what they have make you believe, but in your case I say you can, that is what makes great leaders" The man interrupted.

"I would not be much of a leader if I did though right? ... How long did you say I was gone though?" Leo stated.

He continued a bit amused. "I am asking once more as futile as it is... Stay" he finished with a somehow odd tone between a mandate and a plead. "You feel it as well, don't you? This sense of... I wish this night could have been..." he made a weird sound that, to Leo, sounded like eternal.

_Watashi no tame ni, anata no tame ni_

_For your sake For my sake_

_sunao ni kokoro wo sunao tame ni  
In order for me to tell you my true feelings_

Leo sat down, having a painful flashback that made her close her eyes as a sudden turmoil of emotions filled her.

In it, she faced a blond massive man _"Tell your boss the answer is no". and _throwing an invaluable sword "_And he can have his sword back. Let´s dance!" _The last part feeling like the echo of another event which resounded leaving her lightheaded._  
_

She shook her head and managed to make her mouth work, breathing slowly. "You will surely tire of me soon." she said, sighing. As enjoyable as the previous night had been, right now it was getting hard to breath as his presence seemed to overwhelm if not asphyxiate everything. _"The scent lingers but the flower still falls. No one in the World can remain unchanged_ read a haiku... I... I really must get going." she steadfastly said.

"Have it your way... for now you did surprisingly won the match yesterday, as solid proof of your ability to synchronize to me and we will have to wait to an auspicious time to deal with any reticence on your part; fortunately not a long as certain acquaintance had to; despite your companionship like this, being enticing enough to make me consider halting everything, had you agreed and found another way, but you seemed to wish to deprive me of your presence further... that loyalty virtue, which I truly appreciate in you, is also your greatest downfall. Can't complain, I understand the reason to instill a high degree of devotion like your master has. Sneaky chuunin." The man said with a tad of sarcasm.

"But I am merely a gennin?...You know my father?" She asked a bit apprehensive and confused since their father rarely interacted outside of the clan, April and Casey being great exceptions. She still wasn't sure about when Casey's mom came in the picture...

"Let's say he has a sort of obsession in me regarding a certain incident, so it would be futile to even try to negotiate with him." he answered and then approached and grabbed her by the wrist.

For a minute, Leo thought, quite disturbed, that he was about to kiss her in a weird déjà vu thing; but seemed unable to. Actually he seemed pretty confused about what he wished to do and instead he placed his hand on her neck as Don had done before with also an unsettling effect as a flow of non sensical visions suddenly filled her mind.

"You are really cold, are you OK?" Leo said flinching at his touch trying to regain her grip.

"As expected, never been fond of the mammal's temperatures, are you?" he asked putting a leather strapped pendant over her neck.

"Not particularly." She answered honestly, a bit confused and light as she felt something had suddenly changed. "I really cannot..."

"I made it for you; it will appease things from the distance from me; so humor me. Had I known before; I would not have caused you unnecessary distress... probably. Though I had to see it with my own eyes again to be sure; obvious when compared against other subjects, I blame my bias on a prolonged dwelling among this creatures... the responsible one has been... appropriately reprimanded. Whatever joke the universe has decided to play on me, you are nothing short of amazing like the legendary Ng Mui or the intriging Fu Hao I read about."

Leo giggled at being compared to one of the five kung fu elders she had read about also the only apparently female one the other name eluded her "not really" and stood, understanding less by the minute and bowed, trying to orient herself back to the farm, which should not be really far right?

"How long did you think you could keep it from me? The man asked.

* * *

The bride was elated as she finally seated by Casey's side to drink something, feeling a bit cold also, for the strapless dress was certainly cute but had become uncomfortable to move around in and not even considering the high heels, which were killing her. April had never been much of a girly girl but a pragmatic one, so walking on high heels had never been an ability she had been skillful in, but what creature could not feel... completely giddy by so much attention, being the star of the evening, save for spotlight stealer, dear aunt May who was remembering, or rather reliving, her days as a USO girl, cutely flirting with all the male attendance, particularly with the ones who donned uniform like costumes.

According to guest of honor, uncle Augie, she had even met some of time biggest starlets in her good old days and had been a known heartbreaker, still was according to the personnel of the house she lived in. "All for my favorite niece". He said and had finally agreed to babysit her for a while. Aside from containing other potentially embarrassing moments to be probably broadcasted on line by one of the known pranksters of her extended family members. She sighed, her family had not been particularly thrilled about her finally tying the knot with Casey, whom they had considered mostly a temporary whim, save for some heartfelt exceptions who actually had met Casey up close, meaning basically uncle Augie and even he teased her, insinuating she was marrying just for a miscalculation, though it definitely beat some of her cousins shot gun and extremely brief lasting weddings by far, she was not particularly worried about that tonight.

About her heart felt most immediate family, she sighed. She had learned than the turtles would only open on certain things whenever they feel comfortable and when they did they took no reserves like 'yeah let's invade the TCRI', or 'the Foot tower'. Too bad she did not get to ride the spaceship thing but she had come across other oddities like traveling to bug infested dimensions and tracking a millennial demon accompanied by no other than the annoying Foot princess Karai.

As always you could never rush things with them, despite their closeness, there were things that were simply off boundaries, even to her. She had learned that part early in the game. She had been eager to know more about the whole big "Leonardo being possibly a girl thing" but it simply had not been an opening between the whole party organization and the hermetic silence of the turtles that sometimes she even wondered if she had reached the right conclusion at all. It was not as though one could bring it out of the blue right? Leonardo had been usually polite and reserved lately, as always. It just sort of made her think of how Leonardo was when she had recently met them and more estranged than usual towards the other turtles. Now that she actually gave a thought at why Leo had spent time with her, being his charming and cute self. _"But of course you are all invited and are also guests of honor, I have not postponed it this long to have you watch from the rafters or whatever you do when you vanish and are you sure you don't want to be in the party; the ring bearer position is…?_" Poor Leo had seemed so ready to flee that she had dropped it immediately. Leo and crowds were not things that got along well, talking about which, she had felt like checking on Leo that night for a while after that awfully brief introduction, but had been completely unable to until the turtles came to her with worried faces. That moment she realized the party was over.

* * *

"Are you finally done with that apprentice? It seems that time rift courtesy of our now departed Yoatl and the turtles multiple time travels has begin to stabilize according to the Daimyō." The old Time master said boringly from his chair trying to take a nap. These last details were simply taking a high toll on him, feeling his time reaching an end; he felt like resting the time outside, the null time flowed so fast, one of the compressed time oddities that would be the end of him.

"Not really... don't tell me that selfish whiny jerk moved again on his own? I swear that guy is as... Wait! The Nexus is involved as well?" the still confused apprentice said.

"And you did not meet him purposeless; of course, the staff and scepter are parts of the same thing after all. Were you asleep they day I told you?"

* * *

Mittomonai onna! (Shameless woman)

The words said in a brief moment of anger and relief, having watched the party footage still weighted heavily on the old rats heart as he received the morning cup of green tea from the eldest turtle hands. No words transpired between them as it had customarily been, but it just felt wrong for the old shinobi. He would much rather deal with Raphael's rattle, Michaleangelo's whine or Donatello's complains than Leonardo's silent polite demeanor; the rest of his students were still "fortunately" asleep, even the zealous Donatello that had basically tried to refuse to speak to him again since. Leonardo bowed and withdraw herself from the old sensei room stealthily, making the old rat wonder if she had even been there, all the while holding the still hot cup on his paws, wondering if he would be able to hold her with them anymore, than the bamboo cutter from Taketori Monogatari had and trying to take his mind from the 3 healing linear marks on her right cheek and then at his own guilty paw.

* * *

Sōichirō had always prided himself of being an efficient Foot shinobi advancing in the ranks due to his innate ability to avoid conflict and his youthful appearance which had helped him much through the years, as well as in the current bodyguard mission on whoever the person, he had been tasked to guard with his life by Karai herself was. It had at first seemed like an ordinary task regardless of the colorful ambiance the party had had and the presence of odd looking creatures, one which had actually agreed to accompany his charge for a while. Dying, danger, no problem. The only part they never did prepare him for was playing psychologist for the client, because Foot shinobi were supposed to remain silent and stealthy right? The masks help in the task, because it was in the way of anything but grunts so what was he supposed to answer to such a question? particularly, since: for some reasons, he felt his very life depended on his answer.

"Is it wrong to retain something that belongs to you even if it is destroyed in the process?"

_Forget if you think I feel ashamed  
A wild thing  
Never felt sorry for anything_

* * *

**Author's Notes**

Thanks to LadyKassy for her beta.

Special thanks to deathoftoast (Shred as bait!), Aroa S. Quadrale, Margui, Zero the Noob and Max for their reviews.

The haiku comes Genji Monogatari Sennenki: Genji probably from the Genji monogatari possibly the first novel ever written the eleventh century ago by Murasaki Shikibu a courtier woman of the Heian period or a proverb.

The ponds are very old but they became very fashionable during the shogunate and the idea of koi carps or better goldfish being threatening is quite interesting particularly if you happen to look like bait. The modern color ornamental carps started in the 1820, but the fashion started on the 5th century, the gold fish an artificial variation of the carps have been bred since 600 in the Tang dinasty

USO is a quite old private non profit organization that accompanies U.S. troops for moral supports of sorts; what they did in the Second War however would sound like a geisha sort of thing for it would be considered a bit sexist to modern eyes, some girls enrolled to provide the 2nd war troops with moral support serving as hostess, helping with Thanks giving and Christmas, no funny bussiness apparently for they wanted girls with impecable reputation just talking, dancing, being pretty as a reminder of the home they left behind and they were in a controled and chaperoned enviroment, they also organized shows with some of the big starlets of the time, they still do. The reasoning is simple idle, homesick and bored troops are dangerous for the nearby civilian settlements other armies did it as well but their approach would not have been considered as innocent or voluntary for the participants.

Ng Mui one of the Five Great Kung fu master from which all modern kung fu schools take from, survivors from a Qing purge of sorts and is allegedly the founder of the White crane Kung Fu style from there the story goes wayward, in one she was the abbess of a temple and in other the daughter of a Ming general and in other a male monk. On a more real account for real warrior women, found a factual one, Fu Hao (1200 B.C.) that was rather intriguing Shang figure consort of King wu Ding recently brought to light when they unearthen an intact royal tomb in 1976 with intriguing featuresand artifacts indicating a remarkable character the archeologist were thinking it was a man due to the weapons and as they started decyphering oracle bones from nearby cave (remember glyph don't have a gender like indicators apparently and it was fragmented): Fu Hao great general in chief of renown generals, army 13,000 soldiers, led numerous campaigns for the king this and that the usual and then they stumbled on the Fu Hao "gave birth" and the well that pretty much startled everyone.

Thanks for reading and even more for reviewing.


	62. Impasse Catalyst

_All TMNT characters are now copyrighted by Nickelodeon (Viacom) __and were created by Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird. __I am a rock by Paul Simon, Imitation Black by Natsu-P, Cradle of forest by Akira Yamaoka __and this is a non-profit fanfic. _

* * *

Mike joined the prank: "Donnie and Leo under the tree K.I.S.S.I.."

* * *

**IMPASSE CATALYST  
**

Mikey gave a hesitant step, as he idled in the threshold of the door of the room where Leo was meditating, again. He wanted to pick up a comic he had left behind and also wanted to try and persuade Leo to hang out with him for a while. _'As if that would happen.'_. He hated having second thoughts and doubts like that on the sensei's attempts to regain some sort of normalcy, but the way Leo had seemed to leave so "easily" and "willingly" for, considering what he had seen in the party footage, Leo's meeting with that guy, whoever it had been, had been unnerving, because, dude, since when Leo was so open and friendly with anyone? Except maybe Usagi... Particularly with someone he... she had just met. Since, well, Leo had been sort of wary of April for... Speaking of messing up a party... Of course, he understood the old sensei's reaction: he himself was still a bit upset. It had been an extremely long night, and it was a miracle their friends had not just decided to toss them out and had even allowed them to stay for a few days while April and Casey departed for their well deserved honeymoon in Niagara, honeymoon they had almost missed due to the whole thing. Darn! He had even made a fool of himself, persuading Silver Sentry to take him to Japan to find Karai for, due to an unexplainable reason, the Leo locator Don had designed had lost the signal once again and Don had seemed so certain of the Foot involvement. Darn! He was still trying to reheat himself! Actually, flying over the ocean and through a storm was really not as glamorous as it sounded and it did take more time than in the comics, so he had not returned until high noon. The she devil had merely given him a disgruntled glare since they had sort of interrupted a kind of date with a guy he had never seen. At first, she murmured something about not being the seiki's nanny and then she giggled.

"You seem to lose your sibling from sight far too often, don't you think? Why don't you ask Leonardo personally next time you meet?" She had almost sneered and then bid them off non nonchalantly, addressing the Sentry's failure to pass through customs.

Leo had returned as unexpectedly and stealthily as she had left in the morning and had encountered none other than Splinter himself in the house. Apparently she had tried to shove it off as unimportant for what he could rescue from that conversation, as he had just rushed inside accompanied by Don and Raph. Although they all had been extremely worried, and Raph seemed quite eager to give Leo a piece of his mind, it had been really weird to see his master lose his cool like that at Leo's response: "I had not been informed I had to inform of my whereabouts at all time. It is not as if my maidenhood would have been compromised or anything." She had said quite sarcastically. What happened next had been frankly awkward and he and some of their friends had felt as if caught in the middle of a TV quality family feud like in the soaps the sensei liked to spent his time in front of, even the slap was included.

The finishing slap had managed to make her fall on the ground, as some blood oozed from the injury, as he had said those words that echoed ominously, words which, fortunately, the non members of the clan failed to understand. She had raised her head and took her hand to her face, staining it with her own blood. She then gave the master a sort of a bewildered, if not wild and dangerous, glare that left them all holding a breath. A lot of things had seemed to go through her mind, yet she had merely closed her eyes, taken a deep breath, had shaken for a fraction of a second and, clenching her fists as if she was holding her grip by force, had crouched and uttered a flat if not despondent "Moshiwake arimasen Spliter sama." to Splinter, lowering her head and remaining crouched as if waiting for a verdict. He had had to stop Don out of reflex before he did something really stupid for his own sake. Whatever it had been that had happened, it was not something they should have witnessed, they should even less interfere. Their other friends, particularly Silver Sentry, had seemed eager to voice something, but the turtles silence dissuaded them, the uncomfortable silence that had followed seemed to last forever until good ol' Case had sneezed and all the spectators managed to find some excuses to withdraw as soon as possible, leaving the turtles and Splinter behind. Splinter also seemed at a lost and, after unsuccessfully trying to find whatever he wanted to say to fix what had happened, he also managed to make himself scarce. Leo had remained crouched until his departure and in that moment had raised, blood still flowing from the injury and as she momentarily met their glares, she sighed a tad annoyed. Don had managed to utter a "_Leo are you..._", but she had shrugged it off with her hand and pronounced a: "I apologize for any inconvenience I might have caused you." She had lowered her head and then left the room without even looking at them.

Afterward, she had managed to avoid them all, in a true prowess of Leo's ninjaness considering the cabin was not that big. The obvious big talk had not happened yet since Master Splinter also appeared to be at a lost about how to fix what had happened and nobody seemed to talk much. Besides, Leo had been uninterested or inaccessible despite Don's attempts, and, after the extremely awkward attempt at training in the morning, during which Leo had ended a kata in a way that, for some reasons, made Splinter give her an eerie look, the sensei had basically tried to convince him to break the ice, so to speak.

Thinking it better, he should not interrupt Leo, right? But on the other hand, this was insane and, well, unfortunately, by the time he had managed to find the guts to talk and raised his head, Leo had managed to leave the room.

Man! The sensei was so going to get his head over this.

And a rock feels no pain;  
And an island never cries.

Leo tried to ease her mind. It was not really as if she was avoiding them, was it? Somehow, that part seemed sort of unimportant now. She had left the probably good intended Mikey alone in the room, it was just... She... OK! Fine! She _was_ avoiding them all! She sighed. Because, apparently it was not just in her head as, even... whoever it had been...

"You can elude it all you want but, as your fellow nitoryu vagrant philosopher had said, do not turn your back on the various ways of the world and do not lament parting on any road whatsoever. Until we meet again." The strange "man", who seemed to know her so well, for some unexplainable reasons, had said as he walked in the opposite direction, leaving her... _"Never mind."_ How did that matched the description of a ruthless monster they have made exactly just eluded her. It was only her luck that she found someone she felt she could... talk to and... not even adding the alien part... "_So we are aliens after all?_" she had asked, a bit incredulous. Don had tried to give a confusing lecture, that could have been summarized with "Not exactly." Not that she had any reason to doubt it, but, well, the whole story was too far fetched, even for their standard of talking bipedal turtles, as Don would put it, and master Splinter had also not so delicately confirmed it when he... she, unconsciously, brought her hand to her face, feeling her cheeks burn with shame. She was not angry at her... master and siblings? Or were they brothers in arms? They probably probably believed it; not really, though anger mixed with surprise had been there for a split of a second as she had seen the blood... her own blood on her hands and that black feeling of rage that seemed to consume everything, that had filled her, making her dizzy and still made her ashamed... How could she even dare to consider the one she owed everything as a threat... It was... She shook her head, which still hurt from a flashback of her injuring her master hit her mind. Lately, it was not so really that she had forgotten things but that she was not sure what memories were hers, and as she had heard a deranged laughter on the back of her head that chilled her to the bones and felt the void as if from a horrible nightmare. She still felt it in the recessed of mind lurking and it had really taken all she had not to let it take over.

She had unwillingly walked herself to the river. Just what was with her an water anyway? There was an inherent quiet and peaceful feeling there, maybe the turtle instincts in her were really... She sighed. Why was she feeling so disengaged and unattached lately was a great mystery she could comment with... She picked one smooth round stone from the ground and threw it to the river with all her strength, feeling an increasing need to clean herself again, feeling terribly alone. She didn't notice the other meditative soul that had also chosen that place to take a breather as well.

I have my books  
And my poetry to protect me;  
I am shielded in my armor,  
Hiding in my room, safe within my womb.  
I touch no one and no one touches me.

Donatello had left the cabin a while back, unnoticed, with a a six pack of beer he had smuggled from the cabins of the not very guarded cupboard. He might be, or not, underaged, depending on the scale used, and master Splinter would have frowned upon it, but, well, if Raph could get away with killing some neurons, so could he. After all, he had plenty to spare, in particular in the nucleus accumbens and the prefrontal area if he even had those... And let's not forget the accursed amygdala of the limbic system, or at least, the olfactory cortex and mating associated ones in the paleocortex, which of course, were wrecking his life.

Purposefully, he gulped half of the bitter fluid contained in the aluminum bottle and looked at the distance.

After that awkward morning training Splinter had ordered, he still felt like an outcast in the family, well, more than usual. It was not important, after all, he really did not felt like talking. He had tried to speak with Leo, he tried to apologize but Leo had seemed a bit skeptic, to say the least, and uninterested and the presence of the others had not helped much. Well, it was not new, really: during Leo's absence, it had become increasingly common and, well, great minds did not really need anyone... Moreover, he could take refuge in his mind like hermits did, like Einstein, "_who married like... 3 times_", his inner voice finished. Or Darwin, "_who also married_" and Edison, "_also twice married_". Darn! Even the guy from the brief history of time, despite everything, somehow, had managed to find… For some strange reason, it seemed the great thinkers were not as lonely as it would seem, since even old fashioned Newton had fallen to the preys of hormones at least once, and, being the secretive fellow he had been, who knew... Maybe he had been an underground Casanova or something, it was unlikely of course, but not completely impossible. Mendel! Yeah... Reliable Mendel would be his model from now on: he had given up the mundane inclinations, became a monk and, also ironically, had become the father of genetics, as he played with peas and bees. Which also were not a comforting topic, the bee part particularly. He started, wondering how it... _Don´t go there!_ and later, he seemed to have abandoned his scientific inclinations to become the full time accountant of the monastery and, actually, another had to rediscover his findings. Well, there was Tesla as well, but, somehow, it was not really reassuring.

He sighed. He really wanted to take his mind off what had happened in the latest hours of the party. He had been probably too frantic, trying to locate Leo, that he had completely overlooked the whole picture and it had gotten Leo in lots of trouble. He was also angry with her for leaving like that. Yet, in his anxiousness, he had painted a picture for the others that was maybe a bit too terrifying and Leo's sudden, and apparently unremarkable, return had just, well... It didn't bode well with anyone for what he could rescue form Splinter's tirade. Maybe it had not been anything after all, because, well, there she was. However he still could not shake that odd feeling that, for some reasons, that acquaintance of April gave him. Moreover, the apparent familiarity that he had perceived in the video between them made him...

"You are indeed a very jealous turtle." he admonished himself. So there he was, sulking by the river, minding his own business and feeling guilty, when a stone grazed his hand holding the beer, making him drop it, while he could not help but emit an "_Ouch!_" before going on ninja mode, because in spite of everything, he still was a trained ninja, and he turned to find the very thing he had been trying to take his mind from.

ずっとキミに言いたかった

zutto kimi ni iitakatta

(I've always wanted to say this to you)

たった一つの言葉なのに

tatta hitotsu no kotoba na no ni

this mere one phrase,

抑えきれない衝動が

osaekirenai shoudou ga

if my uncontrollable impulse

壊れてしまうのなら

kowarete shimau no nara

will end up being shattered.

To say the moment was awkward beyond belief would have been an understatement. For starters, Leo was bewildered at how she had completely overlooked Don's presence, and Don... well, Don, after the initial shock at being caught in the middle of drinking, sighed and moved to leave her alone, which he supposed was the most gentlemanly thing he could think of, also, he didn't really want Leo to find about his choice of drink for the evening.

"Don't leave!" she commanded. "… Please... Not on my account. If anyone should... I promise I won´t disembowel you or anything." she ended more softly.

Don tried to utter a reply to excuse himself and could not help but laugh at the wording because, after all, hadn't it all started like that? "I think I have heard that and you should... I... have gotten you in more trouble than I had intended." He continued but had to stop when he met Leo's deep hazel eyes on him, almost begging him to stay. There was something about them that made them look so... _lost?_

"You also find me repulsive, I guess." He could swear he had heard in the back of his head, as Leo remained silent.

"No, I don't! How could I ever?" he cried out loud when Leo took him by surprise, taking his injured hand between hers to try to ease the pain by softly rubbing the area.

"Sorry I was so careless again."

Don had no choice but to look at her and darn! she had grown even more beautiful these days. The coat color did make her eyes glow, even with the mask on and he felt his lips and other parts of his body burn, thanks to his mildly intoxicated state. He tried to keep his cool and gulped as he noticed their apparent privacy. _Shouldn't master Splinter, or Raph, or anyone be chaperoning here?_ He thought, trying to make himself get the momentum to leave before he got into more trouble, and leave her alone as she probably wanted. But he found himself unable to. Actually, the longer he stayed, the harder it seemed to be to leave, and, finally, he began to understand the enchantress and temptress accusations some lower men cast on women, as April had put it once. Probably unable to hold their own base impulses on check, they cowardly blaming them on the fairer...

She suddenly let go of his hand, to Don´s relief and distress and she focused her attention on the now 4 pack that had remained hidden near him.

"So now you drink? What else have I missed?" She admonished mildly. "Should I make an intervention again?" She went on, with a bit of a devilish smile, as she referred to Don's attempt at picking up smoking, which had ended with him having nightmares about self combustion. "I know we are reaching adulthood, if we haven't reached it already, and I am not in position to speak... but... It really isn't good for..." She started then and leaned to pick one. She hold it in her hand for a minute and, to Don´s bafflement, she suddenly snapped it open it and took a gulp. She immediately made a disgusted and retching frown while putting her other hand briefly on her mouth.

"Just what you think you are doing?" Don exclaimed for he was quite surprised.

"Nothing." Leo replied casually. "I am only having a Raph day too. Cheers!" She said, raising the can as if in a toast, she pondered whether she should try it again. With a more that dubious glare, she gulped the rest of the content, yet she was not able to hold back a frown while she wiped her mouth with her other hand.

Don was speechless, wondering about Leo's objective and cursing his choice of drink because it was already messing with his mind. "Ok... Ok, I get your point, I really don't like... seeing you..."

"Does it really help in social interaction as they say? It does taste awful!" Leo questioned as she felt a bit flushed, ignoring Don's last comment.

"Well..." Don started still confused, "alcohol primarily acts as a positive allosteric modulator of GABA α1β3γ2, α5β3γ2, α4β3δ and α6β3δ subtypes, although other subtypes such as α2β3γ2 and α3β3γ2 are also affected, inducing an euphoria like state which increases self-confidence and thus sociability." Don explained.

"Wow...! That is completely comprehensible..." Leo said sarcastically moving to open another one. "Cheers to my ignorance on the first part, but I do need to improve my social skills and euphoria is happiness, right? It works for Raph, doesn't it?" She snapped open the second can and sipped.

Don continued, increasingly uncomfortable and wanting to stop her in her attempt at intoxicating herself.

"Leo, it does depend on the dose. At low intoxication level, while it does induce an euphoria, it also diminishes the attention span, impairs judgment and fine muscle coordination and from there to respiratory depression, where the body basically forgets to breathe, and then falls into a coma. It can damage the brain, it induces addiction... and it is not any good for you!" Don managed to say, taking the can from Leo's hand as gently as he could, inwardly cursing Raph.

"So, you are telling me human social interaction depends on them being intoxicated and unable to make fully rational decisions? No wonder everything is so messed up with them... Humans are funny after all, mind boggling substances, he said." Leo laughed. She was feeling a bit light headed and she let Don take the can and empty them all before she got anymore ideas. "And it does affect us as well."

Now  
Hear the forest talking  
Insects and birds  
Does the scent of soil and beast  
Breathe the life into the animal you hide

She sat down looking at the river and started playing with the tails of her bandanna as in a deep meditation. Regarding its texture, meditating on the words that curious Akuretsu guy had said about her hiding behind it.

It's a great illusion  
One never knows  
When you think you're really alone  
Feel the eyes of someone looking in on you

As Don was pouring the last can, he turned and observed as she carefully removed her bandana and gave it an interested glare, as if examining it and then the careful examination went to her hands.

"A full dollar for your thoughts." he offered half joking, but also half serious.

"It's nothing important." answered Leo, a bit surprised, and putting the bandana in her pocket. Then she rubbed her hands as if trying to remove something.

"Are you cold? Do you feel ok?" Don inquired.

"I am fine, it's nothing important." Leo repeated, apparently growing uncomfortable.

Disregarding Don's skeptical glare, she abruptly rose. "I just want to clean myself, that is all." she explained as she went near the stream to wash her hands thoroughly, then her arms and her face while trying to even her breathing.

"Would you let me be the judge of that?" Don asked seriously, gently taking her hands between his and making her look at him directly in the eyes, observing her carefully, noticing her rapid pulse and difficulty breathing.

She freed herself a bit violently, though still struggling to control her breath. "I am sorry to have bothered you... I will leave you alone."

Don moved to stop her, refraining from touching her as he had read in a medical article a while back, since leaving her like that, actually leaving her at all, was not a wise choice.

"Leo, I believe you are experiencing an alcohol induced panic attack." Don warned.

"I can't be! I did not even drink that much... What happened to the euphoria part?" Leo complained, feeling chest tightness and an increasing unease.

Don sighed. "Well sometimes, some people just don't get it and get a panic attack instead, especially when..."

"But I am not people! I am a turtle and I don't get panic attacks! I don't! I can't." Leo replied distressed and apparently trying to convince herself she didn't actually panic, yet her voice gave it away.

"They have been subjected to PTS or prolonged... anxiety..." he answered under his breath, more to himself. "Of course you don't!" Don replied, trying his best to make his mind works as best as he could. "But then you usually don't drink and you have lost some pounds as well..." he went on sympathetically. "Don't worry it will pass. You just need..." _Darn alcohol!_ Don thought, hitting his head lightly as if trying to force himself to remember. "Water probably, calisthenic bilateral exercise, breath in bag..."

"Breath? In a... bag?" Leo repeated, skeptical. "Not exactly an advice Don, but the water part sounds good." she said, kneeling again and gulping some water.

"But not from there!" he said, having a brief flashback of certain companies dumping dangerous toxins and almost wiping an entire race of aquatic beings near from there.

"Why not?" she retorted, gulping more water. "If it works for the rest of the forest, why wouldn't it work for me? Beside, we are resistant, aren't we? We are not human after all." She then ignored him.

Don was about to object, conjuring horrible images of tapeworms, nematodes and other parasites and wanted to remind her that they would be affected too, all the while wondering about Leo's habits during her prolonged stay abroad. It was not like tap purified water would have been available everywhere She went and bonfires would be really dangerous location giveaway despite the danger of water borne diseases.

"The water might have toxins, there are factories and sewage runoff from agriculture." he finally stated.

"Home sweet sewer." Leo said ironically. "Well, now the exercise thing." She looked around, a bit desperate. "I don't feel like doing katas." she said, swiftly removing the coat and other garments and jumping in the water.

Don was flabbergasted about Leo's behavior, swearing he would make sure she never touched alcohol again, he was worried about the possibility that she might drown, which would be rather ironic given that Leo was a turtle and by far the best swimmer among them, probably another female turtle thing to run from annoying suitors, but then… turtles usually did not drink and they did breathe air. "Stupid, stupid Don!" he self admonished, starting to remove his garb as fast as he could to follow her.

Dance  
Dance like butterflies  
Shadows appear  
Right before my eyes  
Sounds  
Echo the absurd  
Hard to explain  
Something that I heard

Mikey's quest for Leo drove him to Raph, who was giving his damaged punching bag an angry glare. Leo had offered to repair it, since, well she had sort of damaged it when she had disarmed him it but well... "Nothing a few stitches cannot fix. I consider ourselves even." He shook his head .

"Hi Dude!" Mikey said.

"Whassup?" The red clad responded a bit absent-mindly.

"Oh nothing." Mikey said, looking around to check if Leo was not hiding there, in the rafters or something, "Just hanging around." Something he had been doing for the last two hours or so, not wanting to disturb anything.

"Ya lost something?" Raph asked looking how he looked around, in the corners.

"Me? Of course not. I mean it is not like I can lose a 5 feet something turtle from sight right? She must be... right around the corner."

"Ya lost our freaking princess AGAIN!" Raph yelled, disbelieving.

"No dude! Of course not! I just sort of lost... track... We are in the middle of a hide and seek ninja tag and I am just... Well... You know, looking around. No cheating, but you know, since you are not playing maybe you could... I'll simply go back to the game." He cowered when he saw Raph's glare.

Master Splinter was probably still watching his soap recapitulation thing which gave them a few hours before dinner.

Raph huffed. The last thing he wanted was to make a ruckus again, getting everyone in trouble.

"She ain't here" Raph said.

"Well I will keep looking."

"Call big brain so he can get his trinket out so we can... Why doesn't he just make her a new one?" Raph wondered, getting his shell cell.

"Though luck. He departed way earlier, he said he wanted to be alone." Mike told him. "Maybe they are together?"

Considering the dirty look Raph gave him, Mikey thought it best to try and settle it.

"Come on dude! You actually believe they've done anything?" Mikey snickered.

Raph gave him a baffled glare.

"We are talking about "uptight goody two shoes" and "me thinks too much and I freeze". They would have to be... I don't know really hammered or something."

"You sound so certain. Ya know what? Dunno! Don't care!" Raph said trying to put an end to the topic.

"But to be honest, between some random guy and Don, I think I would rather it be Don though. What do you think?"

When he noticed the glare he received from Raph, he decided to remain quiet as the former dialed Don's frequency.

* * *

**Author's notes**

It was a long while but finally and best wishes in whatever festivity you have or will celebrate.

Thanks to Lady Kassy for her beta.

Special thanks to "(unnamed)", deathoftoast, Margui, Coriat Cyredanthem, Aroa S. Quadrale and Necro for your reviews.

Regarding the private lifes of scientist apparently they do have active love lives except for Tesla to whom we own AC current and whose probable mysophobia (fear of germs) probably deter him from such close contact because he favored gender equality and was quite an interesting character ahead of his time he actually would be the most factual Donatello like scientist so cool the US goverment supposely impounded all his writings considering them potentially hazardous.

The areas of the brain mentioned have to do with emotions, the comments about alcohol effects are factual as well as the panic attacks. Raph alcohol intake is an undiscussed fanfic fact though obviously has no canon support because it is a kids show, it is sort of implied in the comics though and we do rely on it far too much in out social interactions.

If you look for the songs regarding Imitation black try the Clear, Valshe and Dasoku version.

Thanks for reading and even more for reviewing


	63. Idyll

_All TMNT characters are now copyrighted by Nickelodeon (Viacom) __and were created by Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird. __Pain by Yasunori Mitsuda, The River by Bruce Springsteen cool song,__ the World is not enough by David Arnold and Don Black____, Yoma Kazoe Uta by Sakashita Masatoshi with animejay translation and this is a non profit fic._

* * *

_First we touch, and we hurt each other_  
_Then we tear our hearts apart_  
_We are too close and I can feel the pain_  
_Fill my empty heart_

* * *

_**IDYLL**_

"Ah? Don here... Yeah, she is with me." the purple clad said in a low voice, as he was trying not to awake the probably sleeping turtle by his side, still unwilling at having had to abandon his mesmerized examination of Leo´s carapace, and still trying to make what had happened into some sort of sense, hearing the rain drops outside.

"Well... Ah... She sort of arrived by herself... Of course I did not... goaded her... I don't thinks so... look it's just... We were... dis... She needs time, ok?" _'As I do.'_

"Yes, just... Ah, everything is fine... As soon as the... ah...drizzle? stops we'll head..." He said referring to the untimely rain that had suddenly started.

"Right and you would do "what" exactly?" Don snapped, unusually defiant, raising his tone unconsciously.

"All she needs as far as I am concerned."

Raph's words resounded through the speaker, falling on the cocky turtle like a bucket of cold water.

"Look big brain, I am cool with ya... Playing house or whateva ya think yer doing! Just... you are sure Fear... Leo is not just... playing along?" he said irritated. "Make sure that it's what fearless truly wants. OK! I don't wanna know any details, I and shell fer brains will deal with the master and you get yer shells back here fast!"

He sighed his ears still ringing and turned to find Leo gone, to his distress. The way she managed to do that was really... "Great!" he mumbled just as he was pondering to call the others after that awkward call as he looked around in their temporary shelter, starting to adjust the Leo locator, as unreliable as it was, when he caught sight of a shivering and dripping Leo entering the cave.

"I brought our stuff and some food." she announced, averting his sight, shivering and sneezing.

"Food? Wow! That was fast!" The startled Don exclaimed.

"Well... It's only a fish and some berries, which I hope aren't poisonous actually. Mind if I do the honors with the fire?" She said, trying to reheat herself . "My head is killing me. How about you?"

"Leo about what..." he started, trying to figure something to say regarding their...

"I have some salt somewhere I am sure..." she cut him, taking a small plastic bag from her empty katana holster that, for some reason she still carried around. "I never leave without it."

"Leo.." Don said again, trying to get back on topic, remembering Leo's eyes as they danced in the water, the red markings in her eyes and... He still wondered if it had not been one of those dreams.

Those hopes were shattered soon enough. "We were both intoxicated, so, I mean, it was not as if it was anything special right? How often do we... well... engage in this sort of activities? I do remember a lake and a kiss, somehow, but my memory is not really reliable, so you would talk to me now, right?" she asked, munching a berry, in a casual tone as if it was unimportant,.

"What?" Don panicked. "Leo that time I ... we did not."

" Oh..." she sounded a bit surprised " Good to know... Now, this is awkward" She sighed, uncommitted. While the increasingly pale Don tried to make the Broca an Wernicke's areas of his brain work properly and regain his speech.

"Nevermind then... I mean, we are somehow adults right? And we both know instincts can be overwhelming... and I guess alcohol does impair judgment as you said, after all. No big deal, I will deal with any inc... I mean... Lets head back before I get you into more trouble."

"Oh dear..." he muttered horrified.

"Please, it was my own recklessness. I mean, if you can't hold it, you should not take it, where did I hear that? nevermind." she said with a cold acceptance still trying to reheat herself. Don came closer to help and she took a step backwards.

"Oh dear, oh dear! I am... I am so sorry!" the overwhelmed Don said; terrified Leo might slip back of consciousness and out of reach again, that he had shattered her in that slip. "I mean please... forgive me.. I mean what have I done … are you... hurt? " the appalled Don questioned letting the awkwardness of the situation dawn him almost shaking.

Leo a bit doubtful not liking being treated like some sort of fragile china doll lifted his head forcing him to look at her with a stern glare. "I remember two turtles swimming there, Donatello, and me being a bit pushy about it. Actually I sort of..." She said looking into his eyes, the same alluring eyes in which he had felt almost drowning the previous hours as they...

"Still, I mean..." He was a bit relieved that Leo was still there and still Leo. "Are you? Of course I'll take responsabili... Marry me Leo!" he ended up up blurting.

_no wedding day smiles no walk down the aisle_  
_no flowers no wedding dress_  
_That night we went down to the river_  
_and into the river we'd dive_  
_oh down to the river we did ride_

Leo gave him a puzzled look, as she had been caught off guard by the question, she didn't know how to answer it as she had yet to reconsider her whole relationship with Donatello, since this would certainly change their dynamics and, for starters, did she even had such freedom? In a warrior's clan, marriage was a solemn ritual solely intended to continue the blood line and carry the traditions. Those words she remembered reading or hearing once somewhere, but that had not really meant anything back then... The truth was, neither Don nor her had any right to even think about it, therefore, would that mean she would be "offered" by master Splinter to the turtle more apt in carrying their techniques? Which was actually... herself. She shivered at the thought of becoming a sort of prize and, given their unique situation, the whole thing was making her headache worse. She still was a bit surprised at herself for having allowed it. But it had seemed so natural as Don caught with her and put his hand on her face and hugged her, telling her that everything would be all right while gently patting her shell and making her skin tingle. Something inside her seemed to have click into an ingrained dance and... Well, the brief physical comfort among the discomfort their... watery tryst had given had unfortunately not really revealed any fundamental truths, as nice as it would have been. It actually left her more confused than ever. For some reasons, Donatello reminded her of the odd man she had met. Not that she actually had done or even wanted to try anything with him, right, but the feeling of almost being swallowed whole was there with a less fearful intensity, of course, and the inherent intimacy feeling... And then it hit her in her attempt to rationalize it: their previous talks, had she been just a substitute for Don's unrequited love for April? For what else could he possibly...? She shivered. It made a lot of sense and well, that would made her exactly what master Splinter had said: shameless. And it made more sense than the purple clad proclaiming his... in her intoxicated state, she probably had misinterpreted everything and had made everything more complicated but if that was the truth she might as well...

"That was... unexpected, but in case you have not noticed, I am not really into wearing red wigs. Sorry about your loss." She said standing and putting the bonfire off.

"A what? Wait a minute..."

"Forget it! Let's go." Leo said uninterested. "Mistaken? Oh well!" Resounding in her head.

"No!" Don replied.

"No what.. achoo?" Leo casually asked, sneezing again.

"Gesundheit... Is really cold outside. It's raining. It might even snow and we need to talk."

"More reasons to get going and there is nothing to talk about, right?"

"How come you just dismiss everything like that?" Don asked, slightly irritated.

"Idling in absurd things is not befitting a warrior Donatello, that is all there is to this." She explained, starting to leave.

"I think you don't..." the purple clad started saying as he tried to turn this conversation somewhere.

"What is my favorite color Donatello?" she asked defiant and purposeful.

"Blue of course... Ah, light blue?" Don blurted.

Leo smirked and sighed turning around. "Can you really like what you don't know?" she replied a bit cryptical. "Donatello... Even if you were not using me as a substitute for... whatever playing 'house with a thicket fence and a dog? I guess' it's out of the question. The image you think you might have of me due to my "condition", probably has little to do with the actual me. I mean, I am mostly an annoying and nagging turtle, right? What would you possibly like or want, aside from the obvious?"

"Now you are being..." Don replied visualising an image of Leo in a sort of old sitcom thing, wearing an apron, chopping things with her katanas and the image was really disturbing.

"Stubborn?... bossy?..." Leo said patronizingly. ".. marred?" Leo shook her head lightly, feeling a bit lightheaded, that last part making no real sense and yet cutting deep on something else her memory seemed to be avoiding.

"You are right" Don conceded, that last part had been a reminder of things. "Despite having grown up with you, I really don't... None of us... I am guilty as charged and I have no excuse, but what I do know... The little I do know is enough for me to love." he said finally.

"Donatello I can't!" Leo replied. "I won't discuss it, it is complicated."

"I know, master Splinter would not app..." Don said.

"He has nothing to do with this. Actually, could we not involve him? ... I mean this whole gambol was crazy. lets just..forg..."

_People like us_  
_Know how to survive_  
_There's no point in living_  
_If you can't feel the life_

"Could you at least give me a chance... to try to prove myself to you?" Don said, having succeeded in getting her to talk about anything and not willing to let this misunderstanding go on.

"You have nothing to prove to me. It is just …¨ She took a step forward, a tune playing her head.

_Kokonotsu konya wa shuren wo_

_NINE. Tonight let's offer our congratulations,  
_

_Too de toiki wo shu ni somete_

_TEN. after we stain our breaths in vermillion (ancient chinese wedding custom)_

She talked a bit light headed. "It was odd, you know, that for a minute, just like you know, I thought he was about to kiss me too. Can you imagine that?"and the tune; followed by a deep voice with an eerie feeling to it, talking in her ear as she had a gut wrenching feeling.

"_I did say 'If anyone did come for you, I would let you go.' And to date, no one has, so you sought another way. Yet you have so little faith in them that are you sure it is nothing more than duty that binds you to them?" _And then, something cracked under her feet.

* * *

**Author's Notes**

Once again my infinite thanks to Lady Kassy

Special thanks to deathoftoast, Necro, Margui and Katana for your reviews.

Broca and Wernicke are brain areas related to comprehension and speech.

Thanks for reading and even more for reviewing


End file.
